Kamen Rider Ex-Aid 'Tricks' Bonus Stage: Quiz Chronicle
by Ri2
Summary: After a tough battle, Emu decides to finally ask Poppy on a date. Unfortunately, the happy moment is ruined when a certain 'god' comes back from the dead once more to challenge him to a test of wits to earn the right to Poppy's hand. Can Emu best Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD's most irritating challenge yet? With your help, he just might!
1. Game Start!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"That," Emu Houjo said wearily as he slumped onto the couch. "Had to be one of the toughest battles we've ever faced."

His Bugster partner, Parad, nodded tiredly as he slumped next to him. "I don't think even Cronus was that tough. Still, I think we did pretty well out there. Taiga, I don't think you missed a single shot. And Hiiro, that swordplay was… Well, simply amazing. Graphite would've been impressed."

"I always complete my mission," Taiga Hanaya groaned as he leaned back in his seat, eyes closed, and feeling like his entire body was one big bruise.

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro Kagami boasted proudly as he sliced, with his usual flawless precision, his standard post-battle pastry.

The last member of the team, Kiriya Kujo, shook his head in disbelief. "Still, who would've thought _Burgermon_ of all Bugsters could be that dangerous?!"

"I warned him to stay away from that Gamedeus sample," Parad said in exasperation.

"If I never see another hamburger again, it'll be too soon," Taiga groaned, face in his hands. "Hiiro, I don't see how you can still have any appetite after all that. There were burgers _everywhere_."

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro boasted proudly.

"… That… Doesn't really answer anything," said the confused Taiga.

The arcade cabinet in the corner of the Cyber Rescue lounge turned itself on, and in a flurry of pixels their other Bugster ally, Poppy Pipopapo, materialized, a concerned look on her face. "Are you all right?" She asked, rushing over to check each of their wounds. "That fight looked really bad! I would've joined in, but I'm allergic to the meat they use in hamburgers."

"… There's meat in those things?" Asked a confused Parad.

"Trust me when I say it's best not to know what it's really made of," Kiriya said sagely, a haunted look in his eyes.

"Wait, how can a living computer virus be allergic to anything-" Taiga began.

"We're all fine, Poppy," Emu said, giving the Bugster a warm but tired smile. "It's just a hazard of the job. We saved the patient in the end, and that's all that matters."

"Even still, you all need to take better care of yourselves!" Poppy chided. "After all, _you're_ the doctors! If something were to happen to you, who would take care of you all?!"

"Why you, of course, Poppy," Kiriya said with a grin. "When we are in the thick of it, the thought of your warm smile is enough to give all of us a reason to come home." Everyone looked at him. "… Okay, guess I was laying it on a little thick there," he confessed.

Parad nodded. "Yeah, we all know the only smile Taiga wants to see is Nico's. Too bad she's in America."

"I'm too tired to even tell you how wrong you are," Taiga groaned.

"Parad's wrong?" Kiriya joked. Taiga groaned even louder.

Hiiro continue to eat his pastry delicately, ignoring everyone.

Parad nudged Emu. The doctor/gamer blinked and gave him a startled look. The Bugster raised his eyebrows and nodded at Poppy. Emu swallowed, took a deep breath, and said, "Poppy, now that we have a moment to recuperate, there was something I want to ask you. Genm Corp. is having a big game Expo soon, and I was wondering if you might want to attend?"

Poppy gasped, eyes wide with delight. "An Expo?! That sounds wonderful! There'll be so many new games to play! We should all go, we'll have a great time-"

"Actually, Poppy," Emu interrupted. "I was kind of hoping that just the two of us would go."

There was a pause. Poppy blinked at him a few times. "Just… The two of us?"

Emu swallowed. "Yes."

"Together?"

"Yes."

"Alone?"

"… Yeah."

"Like… On a _date_?!"

"… If… That's okay?" Emu asked hesitantly.

Poppy squealed so loudly that patients on the top floor of the hospital could hear her. "EMU! I'D _LOVE_ TO! I THOUGHT YOU'D _NEVER_ ASK!" She shrieked, hugging him and smothering his face with kisses, much to his bewilderment and delight.

"About time," Parad said with a pleased smile.

"Pay up," Kiriya said, extending his hand toTaiga. The other doctor, face still in his hands, tossed some yen at him without even looking. Hiiro continued eating his pastry, ignoring everyone.

"UNACCEPTABLE!"

Without warning, someone grabbed Poppy and ripped her off of the startled Emu. And that someone was… "KUROTO DAN!?" Everyone cried incredulously.

"No! I will no longer go by that name!" Kuroto Dan, their frequent enemy, occasional ally, and recurring pain in the ass said dramatically, throwing back his head and stretching out his arms. "From this day forth, you shall address me as… Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!"

There was a long pause. "I'm not calling him that," Hiiro said without looking up from his pastry.

"Kuroto-" Poppy began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected her.

"-What are you doing here?! We thought you were dead! Again!" Poppy continued.

"Yeah, I distinctly remember killing you. Then dying. Although I got better," Kiriya recalled. "And I thought I saw you when I came to pay my respects, but that might've been a hallucination. It was kind of unclear."

"Should we really be surprised?" Taiga groaned. "Repeatedly coming back from the dead is kind of Kuroto's-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected him.

"-Whole thing," Taiga continued, head starting to throb.

"How did you come back this time?" Emu demanded.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled. "Not even death can stop my godly talents! You see, all I had to do was-"

"I don't actually care," Taiga moaned. "I have a headache, and every word out of his mouth is only making it worse. Somebody kill him again, please."

"Okay," Parad said, standing up.

"Wait!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted. "I've not come here to fight this day, but to prevent a terrible blasphemy from taking place! Emu Houjo, I forbid you from dating Poppy!"

"I don't think you actually have a choice in the matter, Kuroto-" Emu growled.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected him.

"Yes, I'm a modern Bugster! I can date whomever I please!" Poppy agreed, wrapping her arm around Emu's.

"Preposterous! As Poppy's creator, I have the final say in all things regarding her!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared. "And so I say that Emu Houjou is unworthy of being her paramour!" He raised an index finger. "However, I am a merciful God-"

"Since when?" Taiga muttered.

"And so I shall give you a chance to prove yourself worthy of her hand," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD continued. He held up a Gashat with the words 'Quiz Brain' pasted on the side above a picture of a brain in a jar wearing spectacles and a mortarboard hat, surrounded by letters and numbers. "I challenge you to beat this new game I have designed, Quiz Brain, where you must stretch your mind to the limit by answering a series of increasingly difficult multiple-choice questions to win! Clear the game, and you shall have God's blessings to date Poppy."

"And what if I refuse to play along?" Emu asked, getting irritated.

"Then… You shall NOT have God's blessings!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said triumphantly.

Everyone stared at him, unimpressed. "So, can I kill him, or…?" Parad asked.

"Also, I'll unleash a new strain of the Bugster virus on the city to trigger a new pandemic," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD added, pouting that the prospect of not receiving his blessings didn't seem to move any of them.

"Yeah, was kind of expecting that," Kiriya admitted.

"I hate him so much," Taiga groaned.

Hiiro continued to eat his pastry.

Emu sighed in resignation. "All right, Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected him.

"If it'll save lives, then I've no choice but to accept." He gave Poppy an apologetic look. "I'm sorry about this, Poppy. I never wanted to have to do something like this to win your affections, I respect you too much for that."

Poppy clasped her hands together, giving him an adoring look. "That's okay, Emu. If it'll stop Kuroto's-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected her.

"Newest naughty scheme, then I understand you have no other choice." She blushed. "And besides, I'm kind of flattered, actually." Emu also blushed and looked away.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD smirked maliciously as he strapped on his Gamer Driver and raised the Quiz Brain Gashat into the air, Emu quickly putting on his own Driver and readying his trusty Mighty Action X Gashat. "In that case… Let the games begin!"

At the same time, they pressed the buttons on their devices, causing the Gashats to cry, "MIGHTY ACTION X/QUIZ BRAIN!" As a wave of pink and magenta light washed over the room, making everything pixelated for a few seconds as the stage for the latest round against the Doctor Riders' most persistent foe began to take form…

…

 **And so begins my first foray into Kamen Rider fanfiction! And is something that you, the readers, can take part in!**

 **That's right, this is a story that allows for reader participation! Each chapter going forward will end in a question from the game master,** **Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. I leave it up to you, the readers, to guess the correct answer and add it in your review. In the subsequent chapter, whichever answer will have the most votes will be the one Emu uses, for better or worse. In addition, I would like you to explain why you believe that your answer is the correct one.**

 **In addition, I am open to suggestions for quiz questions. I already have a few ideas lined up, but I'm curious to see what you all can come up with. If I like your question well enough, I may use it in the story, and of course credit you for it. However, if you have a quiz question, please include the correct answer as well as an explanation for why that's the right one.**

 **I've yet to decide how long this story shall be, so I guess we'll just play it by ear. So, put your thinking caps on, because next chapter is when the game begins for real!**


	2. Question 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD produced his Proto-Mighty Action X Origin Gashat and inserted it into his Gamer Driver at the same time as Emu put in his regular Gashat.

 **| CLICK AND LOAD! LET'S GAME! SUPER GAME! ULTRA GAME! WHATCHA NAME?! I'M A KAMEN RIDER! |**

Circles appeared around both of them, and from them icons with different images appeared. They both selected one, and Emu was immediately covered in bulky white armor. "Henshin plus!" He declared, pulling the lever on his Driver.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| LEVEL UP! |**

 **| MIGHTY JUMP! MIGHTY KICK! MIGHTY MIGHTY ACTION X! |**

A slimmer version of Emu appeared in front of the body length magenta square. He jumped through it, shedding his bulky armor and achieving his level 2 form. "Kamen Rider Ex-Aid, I'll change the fate of the patient with my own hands!"

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| LEVEL UP! |**

 **| MIGHTY JUMP! MIGHTY KICK! MIGHTY MIGHTY ACTION X! |**

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, on the other hand, hadn't needed to go through all that, and went straight to his level 0 form, which looked pretty much the same as Emu's, only with a lot more black and purple. "What patient?" He asked.

Emu hesitated. "I'll… Change the fate of Poppy with my own hands!" he corrected.

Poppy applauded giddily. The others rolled their eyes.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled. "We'll see about that, won't we?" He raised Quiz Brain and clicked it again.

 **[+] QUIZ BRAIN! [+}**

He inserted the Gashat into a slot on his Driver and flipped the switch.

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

" **Henshin!"**

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! LEVEL UP! |**

A glass jar with a mechanical brain in it shot out of the belt and lowered towards Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD's head, black robes tumbling down to envelop the dark Rider.

 **| GACHAN! LEVEL UP! MIGHTY JUMP! MIGHTY KICK! MIGHTY MIGHTY ACTION X! A GACHA! TEST YOUR BRAINS! TEST YOUR SMARTS! SHOW YOUR STUFF! WOW YOUR FRIENDS! QUIZ BRAIN! |**

The robes parted to reveal Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD was now wearing a mantle with a metal razor-edged bowtie clipped to the front from which the black garment draped down to the floor, covered in question marks, letters, and numbers. A cylindrical glass jar with a mortarboard on top encased his head, and it and the mantle and robes totally didn't look like recycled props that had been worn by the main villain of an older tokusatsu series involving space police. The upper half of Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD's head, including his sculpted hair, had turned transparent, revealing a cybernetic brain, black and purple with silver circuit patterns carved into it. A pair of spectacles which looked almost comical against his mask's oversized eyes were perched on his face, completing the ensemble. He spread his arms dramatically and cackled like a maniac. "Behold, the next stage of my divine ascension! Kamen Rider Genm Brain Action Gamer Level 3-0! My peerless brilliance has reached new heights! Kneel, and bask in my godly greatness!"

"No thank you. The only God I will ever kneel to is Fruit Jesus, who watches over us from his holy garden on planet Helheim," Hiiro said seriously, pushing away his empty plate and rising to his feet as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Kiriya perked up at this. "Oh, you're a Gaimist too? I had no idea! Why didn't you mention that before now?"

Hiiro shrugged. "I saw no reason to."

Kiriya shrugged. "Fair enough. So, what fruit do you represent? I'm a mango-"

"Cease prattling about false gods when I'm right here!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD bellowed, annoyed nobody was paying attention to him.

"False God? Didn't he show up to help out during the Enigma Crisis-" Emu recalled.

"Just because he has godlike powers doesn't mean I have to acknowledge him as a God!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Couldn't the same logic be used for you, then?" Parad pointed out.

"… Anyway, let's begin the game," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, quickly changing the subject. He pressed a lever on his Driver.

 **[+] STAGE SELECT! [+]**

A series of holographic screens depicting various landscapes revolved around him. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD tapped one, and another wave of pixels washed out across the room, transforming the CR lounge into what appeared to be a game show stage, with two podiums – – one in front of Emu, and the other in front of Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD – – a massive screen on the back wall showing the Quiz Brain logo and artwork, and studio seating jampacked with cheering Bugster Viruses. More Viruses were operating the cameras and spotlights focusing on the stage. Taiga, his head still pounding, winced as the intensely bright lights shone in his eyes. "Shimatta…"

"Welcome, Emu Houjo, to Quiz Brain!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared. "If you can clear this game, I will grant you my blessing to date Poppy Pipopapo!"

"You realize that even if I lose, I'll probably ignore you and date her anyway, right?" Emu asked, somewhat exasperated.

"… Anyway," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, ignoring him. "The rules of this game are simple! I will ask you a series of questions, which will appear on the big screen there," he said, gesturing to the large monitor. "Each question has multiple answers, which will also be up for display. Answer correctly, and you will receive points and get that much closer to earning my favor. However, if you get an answer wrong, I shall release a new and improved Bugster into the city!"

"WHAT?!" everyone cried.

"This is a pipupepo panic!" A horrified Poppy squealed.

"You can't do that!" Emu protested.

"Oh, but I can! As the quizmaster and game master, I can do anything I wish!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD boasted. "Just consider it extra incentive not to screw up, hmm?"

"Remind me why we don't just transform and beat you up again?" Taiga growled.

"Because this is a game of smarts, not brute force," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD chided him. "No matter how much you punch or stab or kick or shoot at me, my health bar will not go down in the slightest."

"Oh, like Loverica," Parad realized.

Poppy grimaced. "Ick! I never liked that guy. He's so sleazy!"

"Emu, don't worry," Kiriya said, seeing Emu starting to look stressed out. "If 'God' over there sends out a Bugster, we'll go out and stop it. Unless the great quizmaster objects?"

"You may do as you wish," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said dismissively. "And as a show of my boundless generosity, I shall even allow Emu to confer with you all before answering the question, since surely the riddles I present him with will be far too difficult for a mind like his to grasp unaided. However, he must give the final answer, and he must do within the time limit, or else I will unleash a Bugster."

"Got it," Emu said. He gave the medical examiner a thankful look. "Thanks, Kiriya."

"Hey, I've always got your back, Emu," Kiriya said with a grin.

"This sounds like fun!" Parad said with a grin. "If there weren't people's lives or Poppy's love life on the line, I wouldn't mind playing!"

"Me too!" Poppy agreed.

"Regrettably, Poppy, I can't allow you to play with the others," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, gesturing for some Bugster Viruses in bouncer outfits to walk onto the stage and surround Poppy. "Many of these questions pertain to you, so you'll need to be escorted to watch backstage to prevent you from slipping your would-be Paramore any answers."

"Sulk!" Poppy sulked. "Kuroto, why do you always have to be so naughty? Can't you just make a game that will make everyone smile and be happy for a change?"

"NEVER!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD barked. "And remember, it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!"

"There's no way I'm going to remember that," Poppy complained. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD scowled at her. Poppy turned to Emu and gave him a happy smile. "Don't worry, Emu, you're the best gamer there is! You'll win this game in no time, and then we'll go on our date!"

Emu nodded, grinning under his mask. "Yeah! I'll clear this game with no continues!"

"My heart is boiling," Parad said with a joyful smile.

"Commencing quiz operation," Hiiro said sternly.

"Mission start," Taiga groaned, squinting. "Can you please turn the lights down?"

"I'm on board!" Kiriya added with a grin.

As Poppy was gently escorted offstage by the Bugsters, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD tapped his podium, and the screen display changed to show a question with three possible answers listed underneath. "Now, let us begin! Let's start off with something easy, shall we?"

 **What is Poppy Pipopapo's human name?**

 **A. Asuna Karino**

 **B. Kiriko Tomari**

 **C. Sakurako Dan**

…

 **Okay readers, the game has officially begun! If you want to help Emu win the game and defeat Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, choose one of the answers to the question above and add it in your review, as well as a reasoning for why you think it's the correct answer. Whichever answer gets the most tallies will be the one Emu uses, so choose wisely!**


	3. Question 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"That's it?" Emu asked in surprise. "That's the first question?"

"It is. And choose your answer, wisely, the clock is ticking," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, nodding at the monitor, where a timer was counting down in the upper right corner of the screen.

"But that's so easy! I was expecting something harder," Parad complained, looking disappointed.

Taiga nodded. "All of us know the answer to that question. It's obvious."

"… Maybe not," Hiiro said slowly.

Everyone glanced him. "What do you mean?" Kiriya asked with a frown.

"Just because something is obvious doesn't necessarily mean it's right," Hiiro pointed out. "As doctors, we all know that just because at first glance a patient may have the symptoms of a certain illness, that doesn't necessarily mean that they're suffering from that sickness. It could be something far worse, or more minor. It's never safe to make assumptions in our line of work."

"But what other answer could there be?" Asked a confused Parad. "It's obviously not Kiriko… Who is that, anyway?"

"Drive's wife. We met her at the party where we were formally inducted into the ranks of the Legend Riders," Emu reminded him.

"Oh, right, that policewoman who didn't smile much," Parad recalled.

"That was a fun party. Some of the other gunslinging Riders were pretty good shots," Taiga recalled fondly.

"And I was surprised to meet others who could cut nearly as finely as I could," Hiiro admitted.

"And there were some pretty good bikes-Wait…Sakurako Dan!" Kiriya said, snapping his fingers as his eyes lit up. "She's Kuroto's-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said insistently.

"Mother," Kiriya continued. "And Poppy's original human host! She has her memories, and Yaotome was trying to transform her back into Sakurako using 'Let's Make Bugsters.' Maybe that's the right answer!"

"I could see that," Taiga admitted, nodding slowly. "Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said insistently.

"Always has had a soft spot for Poppy because she reminds him of his mother," Taiga continued.

"I do not!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD claimed. Nobody believed him.

"So maybe that's the right answer," Taiga concluded.

"… No, no, that can't be it," Parad said, shaking his head. "Bugsters don't work that way. By that logic, my human name is Emu Houjo, and Graphite's would've been Saki Momose."

There was a pause as they considered this. "That's… An interesting mental image," Kiriya said slowly.

"And one I'm never going to get out of my head now," Taiga groaned.

"No thank you," Hiiro said bluntly, wisely deciding not to admit the others he found it kind of hot.

"Okay," Emu said quickly, trying to cleanse his mind of that incredibly disturbing image. "I think, in that case, the answer is clear. Kuroto!"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD corrected him.

"The answer is A., Asuna Kirino!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Asuna Kirino is indeed the name of her human guise. You might not be aware of this, but it was chosen intentionally for her cover identity because 'Asuna' means 'nurse,' which is exactly what she's pretending to be when not aiding you against the Bugsters."

"Yeah, I think we all knew that," Kiriya muttered, rolling his eyes.

"I didn't," Parad confessed, embarrassed.

"However! Do not be so quick to pat yourself on the back," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD warned Emu. "This was merely the first question, and the easiest at that! Things will get much harder for you from here on out. If my quiz proves too difficult for you, you can always back out. There is no shame in losing to a godly intellect such as my own."

"I'm not quitting, Kuroto-" Emu began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"I never back down from a game, especially when there are lives on the line," Emu said firmly.

Taiga frowned. "Which might not necessarily be a good thing, since that attitude is what allowed Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"To escape from his prison and unleash Zombie Chronicle on the city," Taiga pointed out.

Both Emu and Parad looked abashed at this. "Sorry?" Emu offered weakly.

"Look on the bright side, it allowed us to bring back some of the people who were erased, and we're even closer to bringing everyone back now than we were before," Kiriya pointed out. He grinned. "Plus, I got to kill Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"Which was very satisfying, and I kind of feel a hankering to do it again," Kiriya finished, glaring at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD.

"If we were to go another round, I assure you, it wouldn't go the same way twice," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said coolly.

"That's funny, because I also remember killing you like a few dozen times back when we were trying to create Mighty Doctors XX. That was fun," Kiriya said fondly.

"You probably shouldn't be reminiscing killing someone that fondly," Hiiro said uncomfortably.

"Eh," Kiriya said with a shrug. "He killed me, and is responsible for pretty much everything horrible that's happened to us in the last few years. It was very cathartic."

"Enough! Now it is time for the next question!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared as the screen displayed the next question. "And I promise you, this one won't be quite as easy!"

 **On how many episodes (of our lives) up to my most recent death did Poppy assume her Rider form?**

 **A. 5**

 **B. 7**

 **C. 8**

…

 **Everyone, thank you for your reviews and answers! With your help, Emu was able to advance to the next level! Let's try to repeat the process, shall we? Leave what you think is the answer to the question in your review. Whichever answer gets the most votes will be used in the next chapter. Also, feel free to submit any question you can think of. I have a number in mind, but I'm more than happy to accept any good ones from my readers. Stay tuned for the next question!**

 **Oh, and one hint for this question and for the future. Examine the wording carefully.**


	4. Question 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Wait, what?" Said a confused Taiga. "That's gotta be a trick question. There's no way she's transformed so few times!"

Parad nodded. "Yeah, there was that time when… No, wait… And then there was the time when… No, no, she wasn't there… What about when… No, wait, that was Nico…" He frowned. "Huh. I… Can't really remember her actually assuming her Rider form that often."

"Neither can I," Hiiro said slowly, a troubled look on his face.

"I knew she didn't transform that often, but… I thought she'd done more than that," Emu murmured, somewhat uncomfortable.

Kiriya sighed. "It's actually not that uncommon. Female Riders rarely get to shine as much as the guys do. Hell, the most recent girl Rider (who wasn't evil) before Poppy only got to transform a total of one time, and it was only for a few minutes, and she lost. And her suit was basically a recolor of her brother's, anyway."

"That doesn't seem fair," Parad complained.

Kiriya shrugged. "It is what it is. The ladies have always been underrepresented when it comes to being a Kamen Rider. They also have an uncomfortably high mortality/defeat rate."

"Why do you suppose that is?" Hiiro wondered.

"I think it has something to do with gender representation in Japanese culture," Kiriya said vaguely.

"Well, at least the Super Sentai don't have to deal with that problem," Emu said optimistically.

"Don't they usually just have a maximum of two girls to a team, meaning they're still rather outnumbered by the men, especially when extra Rangers join the team?" Taiga recalled.

"Oh. That's right," Emu admitted, shifting uncomfortably. "And… There weren't really any girls at all when the Goriders were initially formed. Momotaros became the first Momorider, but I think that was just because of the obvious name pun."

"Have there been any other male pink rangers, other than him?" Parad wondered.

"I think a deceased former member of the Dairangers and an unofficial member of the Zyuohgers," Hiiro recalled.

"What about the Gokaigers? Does it count when they're transforming into members of other teams?" Emu asked.

"I don't _think_ so-" Taiga started.

"Hey! Have you forgotten that you have a question to answer and time is running out?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, getting fed up with their conversation.

"Oh, right, nearly forgot," Emu said. He turned back to the others. "Okay, the answer is five."

"Five?" Hiiro said with a frown. "Shouldn't it be higher than that?"

Parad nodded. "Yeah, I definitely remember her being in more adventures than just that. Like when those ninjas were running around the city, or when the two of us had to team up to stop Yaotome's plan to turn us into humans or something, or when…well, just those times I guess."

"Which would bring the count up to seven," Hiiro agreed.

Kiriya shook his head. "No, no, I've got to go with Emu on this one. Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"-Asked how many 'episodes' of our lives Poppy had transformed in. The thing with the ninjas and Parad were way too big to just be 'episodes.' If, hypothetically speaking, those were to be televised, those would no doubt be considered epic enough to be adapted into movies, though the thing with Parad would probably be relegated to a made for DVD special," Kiriya reasoned.

"What?! No way!" Parad protested. "That at least would deserve a theatrical release! Why wouldn't that adventure be adapted into a feature-length picture?!"

"Because the thing with the ninjas was much larger, more spectacular, and featured Emu having an amazing boss fight in his ultimate form with a giant monster trying to destroy the world for the climax. Your thing was much more low-key and culminated in a final battle with an evil clone and an enemy from a previous adventure that also would've been epic enough to get a feature-length release. It's not the same," Taiga said bluntly. Parad scowled.

"Which is why I'm going with five," Emu explained. "Sorry, Parad. Maybe you'll get a feature-length movie someday."

"Probably not, though," Kiriya said cheerfully.

Paired glared him. "You're aware that by that same logic, your most recent clash with Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"-Would ALSO just be counted as a made for DVD special?" Parad continued.

"… Well, you've got me there," Kiriya conceded.

"Time's almost up! Do you have an answer or not?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD demanded.

"Yes, I do! The answer is five!" Emu declared.

As a bell rang, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Kamen Rider Poppy has only appeared in five episodes (of our lives). That's one less than Nico, but still more than Shuki, Amaki, Fubuki, and Dark Necrom P, and _much_ less then Mage (orange) and Malika."

"… Wow. You were right about underrepresented female Riders," said a disturbed Taiga.

"I thought there were more than that," Hiiro commented.

"I think those either only appeared in adventures epic enough that they – – hypothetically speaking – – would be adapted as movies or were temporary, so don't count," Kiriya said. "Although they may have gotten more of a chance to shine after achieving Legend Rider status, but those adventures rarely get as much publicity."

"Enough with the soapboxing about gender inequality and underrepresentation among Kamen Riders!" Snapped an exasperated Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Or have you forgotten that you're in the middle of a game to win my blessings to court Poppy?!"

"Right, sorry," Emu apologized. "We'll try not to get derailed like that again. What's the next question?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD started cackling malevolently. "Oh, something quite a bit trickier than that last one!" He gestured to the monitor.

 **How many different kinds of Bugsters are there?**

 **A. 19**

 **B. 24**

 **C. 25**

…

 **This question will be a bit tougher than the last one. Think you can get it right? Remember, choose carefully! Emu is counting on you!**


	5. Boss Stage 1 and Question 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Credit for the next question goes to GaoGod. Thanks for the suggestion, GaoGod!

…

"How many different kinds of Bugsters are there?" Emu read out loud. "Well, let's see. There's-"

"19," Parad said firmly.

Everyone glanced at him. "19? Are you sure?" Hiiro asked sharply.

"Yeah, I could've sworn there were more than that… Maybe…" Taiga said, not sounding very certain.

"Well, a good number of them are basically re-colors or redesigns. Those might not count," Kiriya pointed out.

"Even so… Are you absolutely-" Hiiro began.

"Of course I'm sure!" Parad snapped. "Which of us is a Bugster, after all? Let alone being the _first_. I think that if anyone knows how many different kinds there are, it's me." He glanced at Emu. "Emu, it's 19. Trust me on this."

Emu nodded. "All right. I trust you, Parad. 19 it is." He fist bumped his Bugster partner and turned to face Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "The answer is 19!"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD paused for dramatic effect. "That is… Absolutely WRONG!"

"Huh?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his health bar dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

The other Riders glared at the dumbstruck Parad. "I thought you said you were sure it was 19!" Taiga said angrily.

"I am!" Parad protested, aghast. "Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"-Has to be cheating or something! There's no way that's the wrong answer!" Parad insisted.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD gasped and drew back, feigning hurt. "Cheating?! That's a very serious allegation, Parad! Why don't we see for ourselves which of us is right?" He started counting off on his fingers. "Let's see, there's Gamedeus, Graphite, Loverica, Poppy…" With each name he uttered, a picture of the Bugster in question flashed on the screen, a number count rising with each subsequent picture. "Salty, Alhambra, Revol, Motors, Hatena, Collabos, Gatton, Vernier, Kaiden, Charlie, Parad himself, Burgermon, Genomes, Robol, Giril, Doral-"

"Wait, those last three are nothing more than glorified Collabos!" Kiriya protested.

"Yeah, they shouldn't count!" Parad agreed.

"Are they _called_ Collabos Bugsters?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD asked.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then they don't count as Collabos. Let's see, there's also Totema-" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD continued.

"Who?" Asked the confused Parad.

"The Bugster who was in that unnamed game world where Kuroto-" Emu began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"Was trying to harness the despair of some dead Riders-" Emu continued.

"Including me," Kiriya said, raising hand.

"To revive himself?" Emu finished.

"… Oh crap, I forgot that guy," Parad confessed, ashamed.

"He's not the only one you forgot!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said gleefully. "There's also Bugster Unions, Bugster Viruses, Nebula Bugsters-"

"But those are just Bugster Viruses wearing different outfits!" Hiiro protested.

"Their base code has been mutated by exposure to Nebula Gas, so they count as a different strain," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD explained. "And, of course, there's one other type of Bugster Parad forgot."

"Who?" Emu demanded.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD pointed at himself. There was a long pause, and then everyone groaned and facepalmed. "'Human' Bugsters. Of course. Can't believe we forgot that," Taiga groaned.

"Yeah, especially since I used to _be_ one!" A frustrated Kiriya agreed.

"Add them altogether, and you get 25," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD concluded as the number flashed on the screen. "Which is nowhere near 19."

Parad shoulders slumped, crestfallen. "Emu, I'm so sorry. I really thought that was the right answer. I can't believe I forgot so many…"

"It's okay, Parad. You'll do better next time," Emu assured his friend.

"That is yet to be seen," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said. "Emu, you got a question wrong… And you remember what that means, don't you?"

"What that…" Emu gasped. "Kuroto, no!"

"It's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, slamming a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them. The screen changed a moment later to display a park in the city, with kids playing on the swings and other playsets while their parents watched from the benches. The screen zoomed in on one kid, who was eating ice cream while sitting next to his mother. "Young Jiro Hajime has just had a pretty good day. School was let out early because of a gas leak, he got an A on his pop quiz, a girl he likes has admitted she has reciprocal feelings for him, and his father got a promotion at work, meaning they can afford that new house and his parents won't have to get a divorce after all. Not only that, his mother has taken him out for ice cream! Little does he know he's in for a big surprise, and it's going to be a lot worse than a brain freeze!"

"Oh no…" Emu whispered in horror.

"Kuroto, don't you dare!" Hiiro snarled.

"It's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

In the park, Jiro moaned and dropped his ice cream. "Honey, are you okay?" His mother asked in concern.

"Mama, I don't feel… So… Good…" Jiro moaned, curling up on himself. Static and orange pixels crackled around his body.

Without warning, an orange mass formed on his back, and suddenly burst outwards, growing larger and more complex as it began to assume a humanoid form. As the mother and several the other parents and children looked on in horror, the orange mass flashed and transformed into a monster with a cape and white hat decorated with salt cubes, red armor covering most of his body, a snail shaped gauntlet on his left arm and a massive red metal claw on his right. The monster threw back his head and laughed as the terrified mother clutched her child, who was starting to turn transparent, close to her chest while everyone else screamed and ran away. "I'm BACK!"

"That's… The Salty Bugster!" Emu cried, recognizing his first adversary at once.

"But why does he look different?" Asked a confused Hiiro.

"Yeah, some of him looks like the Gattan Bugster," Kiriya agreed.

"There's a reason for that," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD explained. "This is a new and improved version of the Salty Bugster, whom I infused with data from Gekitotsu Robots. He's much stronger than before, now at level 60, with the powers of both Bugsters. I thought it would be a good way to spice up the game and give you a little something unexpected!"

"You really are a bastard," Taiga snarled.

"No," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said dramatically, spreading his arms and throwing back his head. "I am a GOD!"

"We have to do something! We can't let him run loose!" Emu said frantically.

"On the contrary, Emu, _you_ can't do anything. If you leave now, then the game is forfeit, and I won't give you my blessing," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD.

"Saving the life of the patient is more important than that, Kuroto!" Emu snapped.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD retorted.

Parad clenched his fist. "Emu, I'll go. This is my fault. If I hadn't gotten the answer wrong, this wouldn't be happening."

"Parad, I don't blame you-" Emu began.

"Maybe not, but I blame myself," Parad said with a grimace. "I have to make up for this. Let me go clean up my mess."

"… All right. If you're sure," Emu said with a nod.

"I am," Parad said resolutely.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD pressed another button on his podium, and a glowing circle of light appeared on the middle of the stage. "It seems as if a champion's been chosen. Parad, this warp point will take you to the boss stage. Be warned, however, thanks to my modifications, Salty won't be the same old pushover you're used to. Not only that, but I think you'll find you've far less time to defeat him than you might think."

Parad frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Because he's so much stronger than before, he requires a lot more energy to manifest physically. As such, he is draining life from his host at a much faster rate than usual. Instead of hours or days, I'd say you only have minutes to defeat Salty before poor little Jiro disappears completely," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said with faux sadness.

"What?! That's-" the shocked Taiga started.

"Kuroto! This is unforgivable!" Emu shouted, pounding his fists on the podium.

"Which is fine, because I don't want forgiveness. And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

Kiriya clapped a hand on Parad shoulder. "Welp, guess you better get going before the patient dies. No pressure, right?"

Parad scowled at Kiriya and brushed his hand off. "I'll handle this. I will make up for what I've done."

"Parad!" Emu shouted as Parad walked past him. He extended a fist. "Good luck."

A grin returning to his face, Parad bumped his partner's fist. "I won't need it."

He walked into the warp point and vanished in a flurry of pixels. Everyone turned their attentions to the screen, where the new and improved Salty was advancing menacingly towards Jiro and his mother.

…

"G-go away! Leave us alone!" Jiro's mother shouted desperately, clutching her more and more transparent son to her chest in fright.

"Oh, I'm sorry my dear, but I simply can't," Salty said with faux sadness. "You see, I need that little boy in to shuffle off this mortal coil if I am to become complete." If he had a mouth, it would've been grinning menacingly as he lifted his claw. "And I do think murdering you right in front of him will be the last bit of stress he needs…"

"SALTY!"

"Hmm?" Salty whirled around, seeing a furious Parad approaching. "Well, if it isn't the traitor! Sure has been a while, hasn't it, Parad? Tell me, how is being a human's pet treating you?"

"I'm not his pet, I'm his partner," Parad snapped angrily. "And it suits me just fine, if you must know."

Salty shook his head in disgust. "Parad, Parad, Parad. What happened to you? Once upon a time, you wanted to wipe out humanity more than any of us. And now you fight alongside them against your own kind? How could you?! Is being some human's 'player two' more important than making them pay for everything they've done to us?!"

"We're videogame characters. We exist to play and be played with," Parad retorted. "If we wiped out humanity, then there would be no one left to play with us! And that wouldn't make for a very fun game at all, now would it?"

"Fun?! This was never about fun for us! At least, not for me!" Salty snapped. "You have no idea how good you had it. You never had a game of your own. Do you have any idea how many times I've been defeated by rotten kids playing as that accursed Mighty? 39,167,385 and counting! I remember every single humiliating defeat, my failures etched forever into my permanent memory! And no matter how many times that I managed to win, it doesn't matter since they just come back to try again! Nothing I did had any meaning! I'd hoped that coming to the real world would finally let me get a meaningful win without my every action being reset, but no, those wretched doctors have thwarted me at every turn… And now you, who promised to lead us to a new age, threw your lot in with them! Do you have any idea how that makes us feel?! How could you do that to us, Parad?!"

…

"Wow. I… Did not he felt that way," Emu confessed. "I feel kind of bad for Salty now."

"Eh," everyone else said.

…

Parad shrugged apologetically. "… Humans don't have infinite lives like we do, Salty. If they die, it's game over. No coming back, short of a miracle."

"I. Don't. _Care!"_ Salty snarled.

Parad's expression hardened. "Well, then… There's only one thing left to do, now that you've got my heart boiling." He strapped on his Gamer Driver and pulled out his Gashat Gear Dual, slamming it into the belt.

 **DUAL! CLICK AND LOAD!**

"Max Henshin Plus!" Parad cried as red and blue pixels formed around him, the holographic title screens for Knockout Fighter and Perfect Puzzle appearing behind him.

 **CLICK AND OPEN! MIX UP! PERFECT KNOCK-OUT!**

A holographic screen passed over him, garbing him in the red and blue raiment of his ultimate form, Kamen Rider Para-DX Perfect Knockout level 99. He pounded a fist into his hand. "I'm getting excited. Let's do this!"

He pulled the lever on his Driver.

 **STAGE SELECT!**

Several holographic screens began to revolve around him. He punched one of them, and pixels flew out from him, transforming the park into an empty beach. Salty sneered in disgust. "You really have changed…" He gnashed his claw. "It's time to make you pay for your betrayal!" He pointed his left hand at the Bugster Rider, firing projectiles resembling salt cubes at him.

 **GASHACON PARABRAGUN!**

Parad extended his hand, his ax weapon materializing in it in a flurry of pixels. He charged towards Salty, swinging his weapon through the air to deflect the salt cubes, causing explosions to fling up sand all around him. With a mighty cry, he leaped into the air and swung his ax down in a mighty chop at his former ally.

Salty's right arm shot out, catching the ax in his claw. With a grunt, the pistons in his powered up limb hissing, he whirled around, flinging both Parad and the ax away. The Bugster Rider flipped through the air and landed on his feet in the sand, spinning around and pressing the A button on his weapon to convert it into its gun mode.

 **ZUGĀN!**

Parado rapidly stabbed the B button on his gun.

 **ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! TEN RENSA!**

10 powerful blasts of blue energy shot from the gun towards Salty, who quickly shielded himself using his cape, the blasts exploding against the cloak in a flurry of sparks. Using this window of opportunity, Parad used the power of Perfect Puzzle to summon a grid of Energy Items, which he quickly rearranged in the air above him with swift gestures until he got the lineup he wanted. "Yeah… That should do it," he said, swiping downwards and causing the two Muscular and single Iron Body tokens to combine into a single item, which he then absorbed. "Oh yeah," he crowed as power coursed through him, boosting his strength and defense significantly. "Now, my blood is REALLY boiling!"

 **ZUGŌN!**

With another button press, his weapon was back in its ax mode, and he charged towards Salty once again. Startled, the Bugster fired rapid salt cubes shots at him, but Parad didn't even bother deflecting them this time and losing his momentum, tanking the hits thanks to his boosted defense, the cubes bursting into small explosions all across his body which he didn't even seem to notice. As he approached, he stabbed the B button again.

 **ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! TEN RENDA!**

The weapon charging up with red energy, he brought it down on Salty with a mighty chop. The Bugster tried to catch it with his claw again, but the force behind the blow was too strong this time, and Parad easily knocked it away and laid into Salty in a series of power-up crimson slashes, the last blow an incredibly powerful slash which sent the Bugster flying, smoke rising from his armor as he tumbled across the sand.

"It doesn't have to be like this, you know!" Parad said as he approached Salty, readying his ax to continue the fight. "We don't HAVE to be enemies! We can be friends again, like we used to! There's a new game now that lets Bugsters materialize without having to kill a host. Burgermon's used it, Charlie's already thrown his lot in, and Motors is considering-"

"A new game? You mean the one that lets humans control my fate and try to 'reform' me? What a joke!" Salty snarled as he staggered back to his feet, clenching his claw as red energy crackled up it. "I'm not like those three! Burgermon is from a game where the objective is to FEED him so has no reason to hate humans, Charlie doesn't seem to notice that there is a world beyond his bike, and Motors? Motors is a coward and a failure! I will NEVER give up my pride like you sellouts!" With a roar, he slammed his claw into the ground, causing the beach to tremble as explosions rippled out from all around him, flinging Parad back.

"Ungh… You really _have_ gotten stronger," Parad grunted as he pulled himself back up, noting that his Rider Gauge had gone down a considerable amount.

"Thanks to the tune-ups Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD gave me, I bet I could even take on Ex-Aid!" Salty bragged.

"… Seriously? You call him that?" Parad asked in disbelief.

"He programmed me too," Salty said glumly. "I don't have a choice in the matter."

"Ah, I see," Parad said, nodding as if he just heard a sage piece of wisdom. "And being forced to do Kuroto's-

…

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted.

…

"-dirty work and play up to his ego is COMPLETELY different from putting your fate in the hands of humans trying to redeem you. I see how it is."

"Th-that's-! Sh-shut up!" Salty spluttered, outraged. "It's not like you didn't used to do the same thing!"

"I was only stringing Kuroto-"

…

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted.

…

"-along so he could complete Kamen Rider Chronicle and bring about our revenge against humanity. What's your excuse?" Parad shot back.

"I… That's…" Salty stammered.

"So much for your pride," Parad sneered, making a gesture behind his back and causing another grid of Energy Items to appear and rearrange themselves behind Salty, where the Bugster couldn't see them. With a few moves, he managed to combine an Instigate item with another Muscular and Iron Body tokens, creating a single item which arced high over the unaware Salty's head and flew to Parad, causing him to glow. Of course, thanks to the item's ability, Salty didn't even notice, too focused was he on Parad's words. "Not like you ever had any to begin with. Face it, Salty, you're nothing more than a starter villain, and you always have been. You're not even the final boss of your own game! You're nothing more than a stepping stone for bigger and tougher enemies. No matter how much you level up, that's all you'll ever be!"

"…GRAAAAAAAAAAH!" Trembling with fury, Salty charged towards Parad, howling at the top of his lungs, drawing back his claw as he charged power into it. Parad casually discarded the Gashacon Parabragun and spread his arms wide, leaving himself seemingly defenseless. The pistons on his right arm steaming, Salty threw a punch at Parad's face…

Only for his claw to crumple on contact, pieces of metal flying everywhere as it broke against Parad's double-stacked defense. Salty cried out in agony, recoiling and staring at his broken claw in disbelief. "Wh-what… How…"

"And that," Parad said, pounding a fist into his palm. "Is why you'll never be final boss material." Muscles bulging, he threw a punch of his own at Salty. The Bugster reflexively brought up what was left of his claw to protect himself, only for Parad's fist to shatter it completely, the blow powering through and connecting with Salty's face, sending the Bugster flying. "So long as you keep going on like this, like you always have, you'll never be anything more than a speedbump." Salty staggered back to his feet, but Parad punched him again, then grabbed what was left of his right arm and, with a mighty pull, ripped it completely out of its socket, causing Salty to scream. "So what if you keep losing? You always get back up and try again! You've beaten more players then have beaten you, right?"

"But… It doesn't matter…" Salty wheezed angrily, stumbling backwards from Parad. "That's just a game. I beat them, they run out of lives, they just reset the game and come at me until I'm beaten and they move on, only for it to start all over again when the next player comes along! I come here, to the real world… And I STILL can't win! Not against the humans, not against you… No matter what I do, _I still can't catch a break!"_ He fired some salt cubes at Parad's feet, throwing up sand and smoke and temporarily blinding the Rider, allowing Salty to catch his breath and rush him, flinging his cape forward and causing Parad to get tangled up in it. As the startled Parad tried to break free, Salty bowled into him, knocking him to the ground and raining blow after blow from his remaining hand on the heroic Bugster, wrapping his legs around his waist to keep him pinned. "But that stops here!" He shouted, punching and punching and punching. "Once you're dead, that'll mean Ex-Aid will be completely helpless… And I'll be paying _him_ a visit next!"

He didn't notice the grid of shifting Energy Items over his head until it was too late.

There was a tap on Salty's shoulder. Confused, he turned his head just time to receive a fist to the face, a long twisting arm snaking back from it to inside the cape courtesy of the Elastic power. Confused and enraged, Salty tried to swat at the fist, only to be punched from behind by Parad's second hand. The two fists went to work, punching him back and forth between the two of them, before one of them gripped Salty by the neck and hurled him high into the air.

Parad ripped the cape off of himself and rose to his feet, a livid expression on his face (probably), and he shot punch after punch into the air, his stretchy limbs allowing him to juggle the wailing Salty higher and higher with each consecutive blow. "You will do no such thing," he snarled. "Emu Houjo is the strongest person I know, strong enough to defeat you even without me backing him up… But so long as I draw breath, _I won't let you touch a hair on his head!"_

His right hand stretched out and grabbed Salty by the neck again, yanking him all the way back to the ground and right into Parad's left hook, the blow powerful enough to smash Salty into a cliff several meters away hard enough to crater it. Without letting go of the Bugster's neck, Parad removed his Gashat Gear Dual and inserted it into a slot on his left hip.

 **CLICK TO CLOSE! FINISHING MOVE!**

 **CLICK TO OPEN!**

 **PERFECT KNOCKOUT CRITICAL BOMBER!**

"I won't let anything stand in the way of Emu and Poppy's happiness!" Parad declared, crouching as red and blue energy charged into his legs.

"Poppy's… Wait, what? Hold on! Timeout! What does any of this have to do with Poppy?!" Salty shouted in confusion.

Parad hesitated. "… You don't know?"

"No, why would I?" Asked the bewildered Salty.

"Kuroto-"

…

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted.

…

"-didn't tell you?" Parad asked warily.

Salty snorted. "Of course not, this is Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD we're talking about! He never explains ANYTHING! It's always, "Go forth and spread your disease my loyal creations," or "Soon my master plan shall be one step closer to completion," or "Go fetch me a sandwich, I'm too lazy to get up and grab it myself." And whenever we ask him what the heck the master plan is, he's all, "Fools! None of you possess the intellect to fathom even the slightest intricacy of my grand scheme! I am the game master, and know all! As your creator, it is your duty to obey my every wish, and rain down destruction upon my foes! Blablablabla divine genius blablablabla they called me mad blablablablabla none can appreciate my godly brilliance blablablablabla show them all blablablablabla I hate my father, why couldn't he die instead of my mother something something zombies." And then he starts laughing maniacally for five minutes straight while the rest of us stand around awkwardly, wondering what we did wrong in a past life to wind up with a psychopath like him as our boss. Did you ever notice that he sounds like a donkey when he laughs like that?"

"I had, actually," Parad admitted.

…

"That sounds nothing like me! And my laugh has no resemblance whatsoever to a donkey!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked in outrage.

"I dunno, I think that impression was pretty spot on," Emu commented.

Hiiro nodded. "Including the bit about his laugh."

"I can't believe I did notice the resemblance until now," Taiga commented.

Kiriya grinned cheekily. "And now I'll never be able to hear you laugh again without picturing you having a donkey head."

"SILENCE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted. They all laughed.

…

"So what's this about Poppy?" Salty asked.

"Emu asked Poppy out on a date, and Kuroto-"

…

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted.

…

"-popped up out of the blue and refused to let them do so unless Emu beat him in a stupid quiz game. The reason we're fighting is because Emu got an answer wrong. It was my fault," Parad said regretfully.

"…Huh. So she chose Ex-Aid," Salty murmured. "I'm… Not really sure how to feel about that, to be honest. I mean, on the one hand, he's my sworn nemesis, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't hoped that someday she might turn that brilliant smile of hers my way… Oh, don't look at me like that! She's the only female Bugster, it's not like I have many options!" Salty snapped when he saw Parad (presumed) expression. "All of us have felt that way about Poppy at one point or another!"

"… I never did," Parad confessed. "I've always viewed her as more of a little sister."

"Oh. Well… That makes things awkward," Salty said, embarrassed.

"Yeah," Parad agreed.

…

"… Okay, that is something about the Bugsters I never wanted to know," Taiga said slowly.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to look at Salty the same way again," said a bewildered Emu.

"I don't know whether I should be laughing or embarrassed for him right now," Kiriya agreed.

Hiiro grunted noncommittally.

…

There was a long silence. "So, anyway… She really picked him?" Salty asked.

"More like he picked her, but yeah," Parad confirmed.

"Huh. Well… Even though I hate his guts, I'd be lying if I said he hasn't earned my respect. And besides, he's got to be better for her than Loverica…" Salty muttered. "Very well! If it's for the sake of love, then I shall struggle no longer! Strike me down, I shall offer no more resistance!"

"Not that you're exactly in a position to do so in the first place, but… Really?" Parad asked in surprise.

"Indeed! A Bugster I may be, but even I have my limits!" Salty declared. "I shall not interfere in the affairs of the heart… Plus I figure this'll spite that asshole Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD for forcing me to call him Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD."

"Yeah, that is pretty annoying," Parad agreed.

…

"It is not!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled, outraged by this betrayal.

"It really is," Emu said. The other doctors nodded in agreement.

…

"All right then," Parad said, crouching down once more. "I hope that the next time you're back, you won't have to keep calling him that anymore… And maybe you'll reconsider your stance on switching sides?"

"Don't push it," Salty grunted.

Parad jumped into the air and shot towards Salty with a powerful Rider Kick, striking the Bugster in the chest in a powerful blast of red and blue energy. Salty exploded, throwing the heroic Bugster back, and Parad gracefully flipped through the air and landed on his feet.

 **PERFECT!**

"Losers deserve an ending befitting a loser. Better luck next time, Salty," Parad said, disengaging his Rider form and ejecting the Gashat Gear Dual.

 **CLICK TO SAVE!**

The warp point appeared nearby. Parad smirked. "Guess it's time to head back." He walked into the circle of light and vanished as the beach disappeared behind him.

…

In the Park, Jiro, who'd almost completely disappeared, suddenly became fully tangible again. "Mom?" He groaned.

"Jiro!" His mother cried, hugging him to her chest and sobbing with joy. "You're all right!"

"Can I have some more ice cream?" He asked blearily.

"Of course, sweetie," she cried, smothering his face with kisses. "You can have as much as you want."

Jiro would do just that, and then spend a good chunk of the afternoon in the bathroom throwing up.

…

Parad reappeared back on the stage, the warp point vanishing as he stepped off of it. "That was fun," he declared. "Thanks for the good fight, Kuroto."

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. "And I suppose you're welcome," he said grudgingly, irritated that Parad had won, and both he and Salty had made fun of him. His laugh did _not_ sound like a donkey!

Emu bumped fists with the Bugster. "Good fight."

"Thanks," Parad said with a grin. "And Emu? I promise not to screw up like that again. Next time, one of the others can make a mistake instead."

"Hey!" Taiga said indignantly.

"So, anyone want to make bets on who's going to cause Emu to get an answer wrong next?" Kiriya asked half-jokingly.

"No thank you," Hiiro said sternly.

"Now that that bonus round is over, it's time to resume the game," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared. "Emu, are you ready for the next question? Actually, I don't care if you are or not, I'm asking it anyway."

 **What was the first Legend Gashat that I, the mighty Kamen Rider Genm, used?**

 **A: Kamen Rider Build**  
 **B: Magic The Wizard**  
 **C: King Of Poker Blade**

…

 **Well, that was a fun battle! I think is the first time I've ever written a real Kamen Rider fight, so I hope I did an adequate job of it. I have plans for future fights which should be even cooler should Emu get any other answers wrong, which should by no means be an excuse for you readers to get the answers wrong on purpose just so you can see some more neat Bugster bashing!**

 **So keep reviewing, keep guessing, and keep coming up with questions! After all, why should GaoGod be the one to get all the fun?**


	6. Question 5

Disclaime: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me

…

"Magic the Wizard!" Emu said immediately, without consulting the others.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "While I created a number of Legend Rider Gashats, Magic the Wizard is the first (and only) one I used myself."

"What was the deal with the Legend Rider Gashats, anyway?" Taiga wondered. "We never saw them again after that incident."

"And who was the second Doctor Pac-Man?" Hiiro questioned. "I don't believe we ever learned that either."

"Oh, that was me," Parad said. "I never told you guys?"

"No, you didn't," Emu said in surprise. "What were you doing running around dressed like him and helping us against the Legend Riders? I thought you were on the same side as Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"Back then," Emu concluded.

Parad shrugged. "I was. I felt like doing it to screw with him because I thought it would be funny."

"Which it wasn't!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"It totally was," Parad said with an unapologetic grin. The others chuckled.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grunted in annoyance. "In any event, I instigated that incident to collect data on the Legend Riders for use in Kamen Rider Chronicle. After seeing the real Legend Riders in action during the Pac-Man virus outbreak, I got the brilliant idea to create an additional mode to the game where, during certain events and milestones, Legend Riders would appear as special boss characters, and if the players could defeat them, they would receive exclusive skins and special items and gear related to them."

"That…Actually sounds pretty cool!" Emu said in surprise. "If the whole game hadn't been an evil plot, I actually wouldn't have minded playing something like that. Why wasn't that implemented in the final game?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD sighed. "Other projects wound up taking priority, and I didn't get the chance to finish programming it in before my untimely death. After my revival, I intended to add the Legend Riders as part of an update patch, along with restoring the in-game store, but then my father got in the way and you imbeciles had to go and shut down the game."

"We're not apologizing," Hiiro said firmly.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snorted. "Ungrateful fools. Nobody can appreciate my genius."

"Wait, what was that about an in-game store?" Kiriya asked.

"I planned for Kamen Rider Chronicle to have an in-game store where players could use currency obtained from defeating enemies or real-world money to purchase items and upgrades to help them progress in the game," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD explained. "I actually managed to finish coding that in before I died… But then SOMEONE had to go and remove it from the final product!" He shouted, glaring at Parad.

Everyone looked at Parad in surprise. "Parad?!" Emu cried in disbelief.

"Look, in my defense, I was a bad guy at the time, remember?" Parad said defensively. "I didn't WANT to give the humans anything they could use to make it easier for them to defeat my friends, given that we were trying to wipe out your species. Second, you know I hate micro transactions, Emu. It feels like players are paying to win and giving themselves an unfair advantage over everyone else. And aside from that… The real-world prices Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"-Were charging were OBSCENE!" Parad said in disgust. "Nobody should have to be forced to spend that much money on perks or gear!"

"I was trying to make a profit, making quality video games takes a lot of money," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said defensively.

"You could buy a HOUSE with some of the money you were demanding for the high-end stuff!" Parad insisted. "I did everyone a favor by removing that! Better for someone to die in combat then be thrown out on the streets to starve because they spent all their money trying to win a game! Plus, it would've made Genm Corp. even more reviled then Electronic Arts for their cash-grabbing scams. You should be thanking me."

"NEVER!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted.

"You know, how is it that Genm never went under for all the horrible things their CEOs have inflicted on the population?" Taiga wondered. "Multiple counts of bioterrorism, deaths, attempts at world domination…"

"It's because they have a patent on the technology necessary to create and use Gashats and combat Bugsters, so the government needs to let them stay in business to help bring back everyone who's been erased, as well as help us keep future Bugster outbreaks under control," Hiiro said.

"Plus, aside from that, they make really fun and popular games," Parad pointed out. "Real gamers aren't going to let a little thing like viral outbreaks and near-zombie apocalypses stop them from buying their products."

Emu nodded. "If anything, it's made them even MORE popular, since they're so far the only company that's figured out how to bring immersive gaming to a whole new level. Plenty of companies are clamoring to collaborate with them in hopes of finding ways to bring some of their more famous game characters into the real world. Everyone is eager to see what they can manage next."

"Especially since they now have a CEO at the helm who's not an insane egomaniacal madman," Kiriya quipped. "Even if he does have a weird fixation for Monks and has adopted Burgermon and named him his successor."

"Can't be worse than the last few CEOs they had in charge," Parad pointed out. They all nodded in agreement.

"That company should be mine by right," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD growled. "They had no right putting that talentless hack in charge."

"Considering that 'talentless hack' was able to create a number of Gashats on his own, and has demonstrated no signs of psychopathy, I believe they made the right choice making Koboshi the new CEO of Genm," Hiiro stated.

"Plus, haven't the company's stocks and profit margins been higher than they ever were when led by a member of the Dan family?" Emu recalled.

"SILENCE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, pounding his fist on the podium. "We will speak no more of this! Anyway, it's fitting that we were discussing Legend Riders, because that segues neatly into the next question:

 **How many other Kamen Riders have we encountered on our adventures?**

 **A. 15**

 **B. 53**

 **C. 58**

…

 **I wonder if I should feel hypocritical complaining about micro transactions considering I spend a bit more real-world money than I should playing Pokémon Go. Oh well.**

 **Anyway, can you get this question right? You'd better, unless you want another Bugster attack! See you next chapter.**


	7. Boss Stage 2 and Question 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Credit for this chapter's question goes to Wandering dude 1. Thanks for the submission!

…

Emu frowned. "When you say 'other' Riders, what do you mean, exactly? Like, every Rider we've ever met, ever, or…?"

"Any Rider without a Gamer Driver or Bugvisor," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD clarified. "Basically, any Rider that did not originate from our series… Of adventures."

Emu nodded. "Right, thanks. Okay, let's see… There's… Ghost, Drive, Wizard…"

"Gaim," Hiiro said reverently.

"And OOO, Fourze, Specter, Necrom…" Taiga recalled.

"Baron, Malika, Blade, Another Agito," Kiriya added.

"I'm still very cross that you met the first two without me," Hiiro said with a scowl.

Kiriya chuckled. "Better luck next crossover crisis, I suppose."

"Oh, and don't forget Build and Cross-Z!" Parad spoke up.

"Which makes… 14?" Emu said in confusion. "But that's not one of the answers."

"You're forgetting one. Ouja," Hiiro said gravely.

Emu shuddered. "Right. The guy who beat the crap out of me and shoved my face in a barrel of broken glass. Kind of hard to forget him."

"From what I've heard, Takeshi Asakura is supposed to be one of the evilest Riders of all time," Kiriya said with a whistle. "Props on beating him, Hiiro."

"Did we ever find out what the deal with him and those Beast Riders was?" Taiga wondered.

"And whatever happened to the Night of Safari Gashat?" Kiriya added.

"Kuroto?" Emu asked Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Was that another one of your schemes?"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. "But no, I have no idea what that was all about. I had no involvement in that incident. Which frustrates me, because I very much want to know who had the gall to steal one of my brilliant creations!"

"I guess that's just another mystery for another time," Parad said with a shrug. "Fine with me. I like solving puzzles."

"So, I guess the answer's 15, then?" Taiga inquired.

"Wait, there were other Riders in the Beast Squadron, right?" Kiriya said suddenly. "Don't those count?"

Hiiro frowned. "I don't… Believe so. I think Asakura was the only real Rider. The others were just… Holograms or something."

"But they're still holograms of existing Riders," Taiga pointed out. "Are we sure that doesn't mean anything?"

"If they count, then so do all the Riders from Cho Superhero Taisen," Parad spoke up. "Which would mean the right answer is 53."

"58, counting the Goriders," Emu corrected him.

"Do those count? I thought they were Sentai," said an uncertain Taiga.

"They have both 'Kamen' and 'rider' in their titles," Hiiro pointed out.

"Yes, in the TEAM name, which also includes 'Sentai,'" Taiga reminded him. "The individual members aren't called Kamen Riders, they're called 'Color-rider.' Therefore, they shouldn't count."

"By that same logic, neither should Electro-Wave Human Tackle," Emu said.

"Who?" Asked a confused Parad.

"She was Stronger's sidekick back in the day. Some people consider her the first female Rider, but officially, I don't think she is, but I'm not entirely sure what else she would qualify for," Emu said. "Regardless, I don't think the Goriders count… Though I could be wrong. They – – _we_ were in sort of a gray area."

"So, that leaves either 15 or 53," Parad summed up.

"Which means we need to answer the question of whether or not the holographic Beast Riders and game world Riders based on pre-existing Riders count or not," Kiriya agreed.

They all considered this for a moment, well aware the clock was counting down. Finally, Hiiro said, "Kuroto's-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"-Definition of 'other Riders' was any Rider that did not originate from our series… Of adventures," Hiiro reminded them. "Even if those other Riders were based on older Riders, the fact that they were created _during_ our series… Of adventures means they shouldn't count."

"Are you sure?" Emu asked skeptically. "Because they felt sort of real when I was interacting with them. Heck, Kiriya was there too!"

"I was?" Asked a confused Kiriya.

"Yeah! You… You don't remember? You showed up to help out when some enemies from Galaxian attacked the city?" Emu asked.

Kiriya frowned uncertainly. "That sounds… Sort of familiar? To be honest, I can't remember everything that I did when I was dead. It's still a little fuzzy. I'm not 100 percent certain if that was me or not."

"Oh," Emu said, looking disappointed.

"Going by the definition Kuroto-" Hiiro began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"-Gave us, those Riders shouldn't count towards the total," Hiiro concluded.

"Assuming we aren't misinterpreting what he said," Parad pointed out.

"Or that he isn't lying," Taiga added.

"I would never lie!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cried indignantly. Everyone stared at him. "… This time…" He admitted grudgingly.

"Well, there's an easy way to find out," Kiriya pointed out. "Hey, Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"Do the game Riders count or not?" Kiriya asked.

"I'm not going to tell you," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

Kiriya shrugged. "Eh, worth a shot."

"Guys, we're almost out of time," Emu said anxiously. "And I'm honestly not sure what to choose. Hiiro's reasoning makes sense, but…"

"Emu, the choice is ultimately up to you," Hiiro said. "Personally, I believe 15 is the right count. If I'm correct, you move on with no penalty. And if I'm wrong, I will take full responsibility, and handle the Bugster released by getting the question wrong myself."

"Are you really going to risk the life of a patient like that?" Taiga asked incredulously.

"Whenever a patient goes under my knife, they're risking their life by putting it in my hands," Hiiro pointed out. "Emu, whatever choice you make, I will back you up, and clean up the mistake if I'm wrong, just as Parad did."

"Thanks for bring that up again," Parad grumbled.

"… Thanks, Hiiro," Emu said, touched. "All right. We'll try this your way. Kuroto!"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"The answer is 15!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD paused for dramatic effect. "That is… Absolutely WRONG!"

"Huh?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

Hiiro closed his eyes and cursed under his breath. "It would seem that I was wrong after all."

"You don't say," Taiga said dryly.

"Well, at least I'm not the only screwup anymore!" Parad said cheerfully.

"So I'm guessing the game Riders counted after all?" Emu asked, catching his breath.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD nodded. "They did. You were all overthinking it, which I found greatly amusing. Not amusing enough to call off the next Bugster, however." He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them. A moment later, the screen changed to show a fancy restaurant, with the view focused on an attractive young woman dining with a man around her age. "Things are looking up for the lovely Miss Suki Kameyuri. Her first art show was a big success, meaning she can finally pay off all of her student loans and lingering debts and move out of her crummy apartment into a much nicer and safer one in a better neighborhood. After years of searching, her long-lost parents have found her, and she has a family again. And now, her longtime boyfriend and childhood friend Tsubasa is taking her out for lunch, and secretly plans to propose! Unfortunately, getting asked to be married is going to be the least of her worries in three… Two… One…"

…

"Suki," Tsubasa said, taking a small box out of his pocket and presenting it to the shocked Suki, opening it to reveal a diamond ring. "Will you marry me?" Suki's eyes lit up in wonder, and she opened her mouth to give an answer…

Only to groan and clutch her stomach. "Oh… I… I don't feel so good…"

Blinking in concern, Tsubasa looked her plate. "What? Oh no, you didn't order something you're allergic to by mistake, did you? Or maybe it's food poisoning? I thought something about the entrée tasted a little off-"

"No, it's…aaaaugh!" Suki cried as a mass of orange material formed on her back and sprung off, expanding and reshaping itself in midair to take on a humanoid appearance. Once it was finished, it resembled a red and white monster vaguely resembling a clown wearing a white hooded cloak covering most of his body and wielding a scepter with a ruby on top.

"At last, I have returned!" The Bugster cackled, firing energy bolts from his scepter into the air, bringing down parts of the ceiling and causing the restaurant patrons to flee, screaming in terror.

…

"It's Alhambra!" Parad cried back on the stage.

"Yes, we can all see that," Taiga said, rolling his eyes.

"All the more fitting that he is to be my opponent," Hiiro said resolutely. "Emu, leave everything to me. I shall not fail you, or the patient."

Emu nodded. "All right. We're all counting on you. Good luck, Hiiro."

"I will not need it," Hiiro said as he walked into the warp point which appeared in the middle of the stage. "After all, I am to be the greatest Doctor in the world."

He disappeared in a flash of light, and everyone turned their attention back to the screen as events unfolded.

…

"You know, I must actually thank you, Tsubasa. You've actually done half my job for me, asking Suki to marry you," Alhambra leered as he loomed over the terrified Tsubasa, clutching the fading Suki to his chest. "Weddings are incredibly stressful endeavors, after all. I've half a mind to just let you two go and get married to see if the stress from trying to get everything just right kills her… However, I don't really have that kind of time or patience, so I'm just going to kill you. That should be just enough to put her over the edge and allow me to reach my perfect form."

Tsubasa grabbed a knife from the table and pointed it, trembling, in the Bugster's face. "St-stay back! I won't let you anywhere near her!"

Alhambra laughed disparagingly and knocked the knife from Tsubasa's hand, grabbing him by the neck and lifting him into the air, causing the pain-stricken and increasingly transparent Suki to fall to the ground, gasping and crying in fear and agony. "While I must commend you for your bravery, human, a little thing like that won't be enough to damage me."

"Perhaps he needs a bigger blade, then."

"Eh?" Alhambra turned to see Hiiro had appeared nearby. "Ah, Doctor Kagami, my old foe. It's been too long."

"Not long enough. Put Tsubasa down, Alhambra. Your fight is with me," Hiiro said calmly.

"Very well," Alhambra said, casually dropping Tsubasa, who rubbed his neck before immediately crawling over to Suki to check on her. "I've wanted to settle the score with you for quite some time. By the time I'm through with you, Suki will have died, and I shall be complete."

Tsubasa's eyes widened in horror as he heard this. "No!" Desperate, he looked at Hiiro with a pleading expression on his face. "Please, you have to save her!"

Hiiro regarded the young man for moment and the dying woman he was cradling… And for a moment, saw another couple in their place. He clenched a fist. "Do not worry," he told Tsubasa. "I shall save Suki so that the two of you may have a future together. On Fruit Jesus's name, I so swear."

Tsubasa's eyes widened in surprise at this, and one of his hands instinctively reached up to his neck, where a necklace of a fruit basket was dangling under his shirt. "In Fruit Jesus's name," he repeated softly.

Hiiro strapped on his Gamer Driver and held up his Taddle Quest Gashat. "Commencing Bugster removal operation."

 **TADDLE QUEST!**

"Proceeding with level 2," Hiiro said, inserting the Gashat into his Driver and pulling the lever. "Henshin."

 **CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! BATTLE FOR YOUR FUTURE, FIGHT FOR THE ADVENTURE, WELCOME TO TADDLE QUEST!**

Hiiro was now wearing the knight-themed armor and suit of his base (not counting level 1) form, Kamen Rider Brave Quest Gamer Level 2. "I will cut down the separated Bugster," he said calmly, glaring at Alhambra. He flipped a switch on his Driver.

 **STAGE SELECT!**

A series of holographic images revolved around him. Hiiro tapped one, and pixels shot out from him, transforming the restaurant into a cave somewhere near a forest. The Rider extended a hand.

 **GASHACON SWORD!**

Hiiro's trusty sword materialized in his hand. Gripping it by the handle, he swung it a few times through the air before pointing it towards Alhambra. "My scalpel shall cut out your infection."

"Not this time!" Alhambra declared. He waved his scepter, and a couple of dozen Bugster Viruses dressed like hooded monks wielding tridents and mace staffs appeared. "Go forth, my minions! Hold the Rider at bay, while I prepare the forbidden spell, Ruin!"

Hiiro sighed and rolled his eyes in exasperation. "This again? You realize you never manage to actually cast that spell, right?"

"There's a first time for everything!" Alhambra snapped.

"Yes, but doing the same thing every time expecting a different result is a sign of madness," Hiiro pointed out.

"Oh, shut up and fight already!" Alhambra snarled, gesturing at Hiiro. As the monks charged forwards, brandishing their weapons, Alhambra began murmuring incantations while waving his scepter through the air, a magic circle forming underneath him.

Hiiro charged forwards to meet the Bugsters, his blade swinging through the air to cleave through the weapon of the first Virus he encountered, a subsequent slash cutting the monk in two. A second monk thrust its Trident towards him, while a couple of its fellows attempted to attack him from behind, but Hiiro caught the tines of the Trident on his blade and flipped it away with a twist of his wrist, ducking just as the Bugsters behind him swung their maces, causing them to instead crush their colleague's skull. He swiped at their ankles, cutting their legs out from under them, and then dispatched them with an upward chop as he rose to his feet, flawlessly deflecting another mace swing and thrusting his sword into the enemy's stomach. As more viruses closed in, he pressed a button on his hilt.

 **KA CHĪN!**

The sword burst into flames, incinerating the Bugster, who died screaming. Hiiro swung his blazing sword two-handed through the air, sending out waves of flame that knocked back and ignited the Bugsters around him. Charging power into his sword, he drove it into the ground, causing explosions to erupt around him, wiping out more of the Viruses.

But of course, there were always more mooks where those came from, and more monks charged at him, having failed to realize that repeating the actions of their fallen brethren would only lead to the same result. Maybe Bugsters really _were_ insane. Hiiro pressed another button on his hilt.

 **KO CHĪN!**

Switching to his blade's Ice Mode, Hiiro swung his sword at the first enemy to reach him, freezing it in a block of ice. He shattered it with a kick, then engaged more of the monks, his weapon freezing and shattering any mace or Trident it came in contact with, to say nothing of his foes' limbs. Stabbing the B button four times, he unleashed a wave of ice which froze all the remaining Bugsters solid. Charging more power into the blade, he cried out as he thrust it into the ground, spires of ice erupting from the floor to pierce and shatter the minions.

Glancing around to make sure there were no opponents left, Hiiro asked, "So how's that spell doing?"

Alhambra started chanting faster in desperation.

Unwilling to let the Bugster actually pull off his spell, Hiiro switched his sword back to its Fire Mode with a cry of **KA CHĪN!** And inserted the Taddle Quest Gashat into a slot on the hills, pulling the trigger.

 **CLICK TO OPEN! FINISHING MOVE!**

 **CLICK TO CLOSE!**

 **TADDLE CRITICAL FINISH!**

Flames and energy crackling around his sword, Hiiro charged towards the panicking Alhambra, winding back his blade to finish him off with a fiery slash…

And didn't see the grin on his foe's face before it was too late. "Gotcha."

Hiiro's eyes widened in surprise. "What-"

" _ **Do-Do-Do-Do-Do Crimson Exploding Dragon Sword!"**_

There was a tremendous fiery explosion shaped like a Chinese Dragon and Hiiro was flung back, crying in agony, flames trailing from his form as he hit the ground, rolled a few times, and came to a stop. Gasping and groaning, he struggled to pull himself up, his Rider Gauge ominously close to empty. "Nnngh…th-that attack… But how…"

Alhambra chuckled, raising his scepter, which had transformed into a flaming double-bladed pole-arm. "Yes, I thought you would recognize it… Just as you recognize this weapon, don't you?"

Hiiro stiffened. "No… That's… The Graphite Fang! But that's impossible!"

Alhambra laughed. "Impossible? Far from it… Especially for one who has inherited the burning spirit of the Dragon warrior of Drago Knight Hunter Z, Graphite!" He cast off his cloak, revealing, much to Hiiro's horror, that underneath it his body now resembled that of his greatest foe, Crimson Graphite Bugster!

…

"WHAT?!" The heroes cried in disbelief back on the stage.

"Oh, did I forget to mention that Alhambra has been infused with data from Drago Knight Hunter Z? Whoops! How forgetful of me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said with malicious glee.

"Graphite…" Taiga growled, clenching his fist as he looked at Alhambra, now looking so very much like the Bugster he hated more than any other in the world.

"This is unforgivable!" Parad yelled angrily, outraged to see this mockery of his former best friend. "Graphite sacrificed himself in honorable battle to put an end to Kamen Rider Chronicle! This is pissing on his memory!"

"Graphite was nothing more than a video game character that I created. Ones and zeros," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said dismissively. "As such, I see nothing wrong with reusing his code for my own means. Better than letting it go to waste, don't you think?"

"Kuroto…" Emu snarled.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Come on, Taiga… Don't let this get you…" Kiriya murmured, eyes focused on the screen.

…

"This strength, this perfect form, it's incredible!" Alhambra gushed, swinging his blade through the air. "At the peak of his power, Graphite was more than a match for just about all of you Riders, even without the Gamedeus strain infecting him! With this power added to my own, I am now level 109, mightier than any Bugster save for Gamedeus himself! And while I'm sure you might still be able to beat me with your level 100 form eventually… Would you be able to do so before my host dies and I am complete?"

Hiiro clenched his fist. Tsubasa and Suki looking at him, desperately, begging him to help them, flashed through his mind.

As did something else.

" _Please… Become the best Doctor in the world…"_

Hiiro took a deep breath… And disengaged his Gashat.

 **CLICK TO SAVE!**

…

"What the… What does he think he's doing?!" Taiga yelled incredulously as Hiiro changed back to normal.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD started laughing. "Is he… Is he actually _giving up?!_ This is… This is even better than I'd hoped!"

"Hiiro…" Emu whispered in disbelief.

…

"Are you actually surrendering?!" Alhambra asked in disbelief. "I'm actually rather surprised and somewhat disappointed. I thought that you Riders were all about fighting to the bitter end!"

"We are," Hiiro said, standing up and wiping some blood away from his mouth. "As a doctor, it is my duty to cure my patient, no matter what. But when my tools are ineffective, I must resort to a different method of treatment."

"What are you talking about?" Alhambra asked in confusion.

"I always knew that there was a chance that the Bugster virus would continue evolving, meaning we would need to find new and more effective ways to treat it," Hiiro asked, pulling out his phone and speed dialing someone. "Which is why I was able to get the Ministry of Health to facilitate a joint project between Genm and Yggdrasil for a new weapon in case more dangerous Bugsters ever appeared." He raised the phone to his mouth. "Satsuki? Mizuki? It's time."

As Hiiro hung up, the confused Alhambra said, "Time? Time for what-"

Without warning, a car suddenly rammed into Alhambra, sending him flying into the wall. The car doors opened, and Hiiro's gorgeous assistants, Satsuki Ogimachi and Mizuki Mizoguchi stepped out, looking professional and sexy as always in their nurse's outfits.

…

"What… What are they doing there?" Asked a dumbfounded Parad.

"How did they even get in there?!" Asked an incredulous Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "They aren't even in the real world right now!"

"What are you up to, Hiiro?" Kiriya wondered.

…

"Doctor Kagami. We are sorry for the delay," Satsuki said, bowing her head. "There was traffic between here and Zawame."

"That is inconsequential. Do you have it?" Hiiro asked sternly.

"We do." Mizuki reached back into the car and pulled out a silver case with an insignia resembling a large green tree on it. She and Satsuki both took out a key which they inserted into twin locks, then pressed their thumbs onto a fingerprint scanner. The locks popped open, and Mizuki knelt on the ground, holding up the case to Hiiro, bowing her head in reverence.

Hiiro solemnly opened the case, golden light shining upon his face. A look of awe and wonder on his features, he reached into the case and removed the source of the light, a beautiful Gashat looking to be made of solid gold with the label of 'Taddle Legend' over a brightly-colored image of a beautiful blonde woman in white offering a golden apple to a kneeling knight in silver armor. "At last… It is ready. It's even more beautiful than I imagined…"

"It was made exactly to your specifications, Doctor Kagami," Satsuki said as she and Mizuki gazed at the Gashat with a look of rapturous joy on their faces, each of them clutching a fruit basket necklace in one hand while making signs over their breast. "Forged from a cast made of metal from the destroyed Scalar System using exotic materials from Helheim forest. Coded by devout followers of every path of Gaimism while priests recited from the Books of Helheim for half a year nonstop, the programmers swapping in shifts to keep from dying from exhaustion, which they would gladly have done were it not for the beneficence of their merciful superiors. Buried beneath the roots of the guardian tree of Baron for seven days and seven nights while shrine maidens and Beat Riders engaged in the sacred dance rites above it. Anointed with juices from every food in the sacred basket at holy Drupers, and blessed by Archbishop Kureshima himself before a citywide congregation, infusing it with the prayers of thousands. It is a Gashat truly worthy of the name of Taddle _Legend!_ "

…

"… Well, that's… Certainly an interesting way to make a Gashat," Taiga said slowly.

Kiriya laughed in amusement. "Wow, I had no idea Hiiro was that hard-core a Gaimist! Sure puts me to shame."

"Okay, I've no idea what's going on right now," said a very confused Parad.

"You… Aren't the only one," admitted a bewildered Emu.

"UNACCEPTABLE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked, slamming a fist on the podium. "I did not create this Gashat, nor did I authorize it! I refuse to acknowledge it! Kagami is cheating! I should disqualify him at once!"

"Just like you were cheating when you mislead us with your explanation of the question, along with not bothering to tell Hiiro just what sort of a fight he was walking into?" Emu asked sharply.

"It's not my fault if none of you idiots thought to ask the right questions…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grumbled, subsiding.

…

A look of serenity crossed Hiiro's features as he gazed upon the holy Gashat. "Yes… Yes, this will do nicely." He closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment in prayer, his nurses joining him. "O Fruit Jesus, who sits in Helheim… Lord Baron, who walks the warrior's path… And Saki, wherever you are… Grant me your blessing." He pulled the trigger on the Gashat as he raised it skywards, a shaft of golden light falling upon him, even though they were in a cave.

 **TADDLE LEGEND!**

"Proceeding with level 1000," Hiiro declared as he inserted the Gashat into his Gamer Driver.

…

"LEVEL _WHAT_?!" Everyone screamed in disbelief.

…

"HENSHIN!"

 **CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! ACCEPT GOD'S GIFT! FULFILL YOUR DESTINY! TASTE THE FRUIT OF VICTORY! TADDLE LEGEND!**

His transformation complete, Hiiro was now wearing armor and cape similar to his level 100 form, only it was golden with colored jewels shaped like fruit embedded in it, and a cape with a red interior and a gold back. Golden greaves and gauntlets with more jewels now covered his lower legs and arms. His chest plate had a large round rainbow-colored crystal on the front with images of a number of different fruits engraved into the interior. Small gold and white metal wings rose from his back. A crest resembling a crescent moon was affixed to his forehead. As divine light shone down upon him, and white feathers floated down from the heavens, he declared, "I am the hero of Helheim, champion of Baron…Kamen Rider Brave, Legend Gamer Level 1000!" On either side of him, Satsuki and Mizuki knelt to the ground and bowed their heads.

"Level… Level _1000?!"_ Alhambra cried in disbelief, staggering back to his feet. "That's… That's not _possible_!"

Hiiro shrugged. "You have surpassed level 100, and Kuroto-"

…

Everyone glanced at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. He was too stunned by Hiiro's transformation to remind them of what he wanted to be called.

…

"Could reach level 1,000,000,000. I don't think level 1000 is out of the question."

"I don't care what level you are, I will destroy you all the same!" Alhambra snarled. "In fact, I don't even need to defeat you. All I have to do is drag this fight out long enough, and Suki will die, and I shall be complete! Even if you beat me after that, you will still have failed to stop me from becoming perfect!"

"I have no intention of letting my perfect record be tarnished by letting a patient die," Hiiro said calmly. He extended a hand. "It is time to end this. Come forth, sacred sword, Gashacalibur!"

With a zipping sound, a hole opened in the air, revealing the canopy of an alien forest. Something shot out of the hole and smashed into the ground hard enough to embed itself and shake the cavern. As the hole closed, with both hands Hiiro gripped the hilt of the sword – – for that was what it was – – and with a mighty cry, a golden corona blazing around him, wrenched it from the ground, shattering the floor around him for a few meters. He raised it heavenwards, divine light shining down upon him once again, revealing the blade to be a magnificent golden sword with a spade shaped end on the pommel of the handle that most certainly did not look like a recolor of Lord Baron's Guronbaryamu or Demushu's Sheimu with the hilt of the Gashacon Sword slapped onto it. Hiiro swiped his sword through the air, the blade slicing the air so finely it _ignited._ "Shall we test your sword against mine?"

"… Bugsters! Get him!" Alhambra shouted, summoning over two dozen Bugster Viruses. Jeering and shaking their weapons, the monks charged at Hiiro.

Hiiro stabbed the A button on his hilt once, causing the blade to start glowing. He took a step forward…

And in a flurry of golden feathers, he was suddenly on the other side of the horde, bringing his blade down on a startled Alhambra, who only barely managed to bring his weapon up in time to parry the blow before it could cleave him in two. Behind the Rider, the Bugsters cried out and collapsed, exploding. "N-no… So fast!"

"Precision is always more important than speed in surgery," Hiiro said before seemingly putting the lie to his words by unleashing a lightning fast flurry of slashes and stabs at Alhambra which the Bugster was only barely able to defend himself against. "Your swordsmanship is sloppy," Hiiro said disparagingly as he advanced bit by bit with each successful blow, forcing the increasingly desperate Alhambra further and further back. "Your form is off, your grip is wrong, your technique is flawed, your attacks are wildly telegraphed… I'm disappointed. Graphite would never have made such mistakes."

"Th-that can't be!" Alhambra protested frantically as he countered another swipe, desperately searching for any opening in Hiiro's wall of flashing blades. He found none. "I have his data!"

"It wasn't his data that made Graphite a master swordsman," Hiiro lectured the Bugster. "It was his warrior spirit… A spirit which you sadly lack!" With a flick of his wrist, he knocked the Graphite Fang out of Alhambra's sweat-stricken grip and thrust his sword at his abdomen, intending to end this with a single blow.

Alhambra managed to catch the blade between his palms, sweating and struggling with visible effort to keep it from going any further, the tip only millimeters from his stomach. "I may lack a warrior spirit… But at least I still have my magic!" His eyes flashed, and a blindingly bright light emitted from his body, causing Hiiro to flinch and take a few steps back. With a wave of Alhambra's hand, Hiiro levitated into the air, then slammed into the ground hard enough to crater it, grunting as gravity around him was increased to several times Earth's magnitude. The Rider started struggling to his feet, armor flashing as his power to fight back against the gravity, but with a quick incantation, Alhambra froze him in ice. "Let's see how you like that!" He sneered, picking up the Graphite Fang once more and winding back to shatter his foe with a single strike.

He didn't get the chance. Hiiro's armor and sword lit up, and in an explosion of light, the ice encasing him shattered, knocking Alhambra back. With a battle cry, Hiiro lunged forward to engage his foe, the light his sword was emitting and the strength of his arm increasing with every strike he landed, to the point where Alhambra swiftly realized he had only moments left before he would be completely unable to continue defending himself. Frantic, he summoned a slab of stone, which rose up in front of him and shot towards Hiiro, trying to shove him back. Hiiro pressed the A button on his sword, powering up, then released a slash which not only cut the slab diagonally in two, but a good chunk of the cave wall behind it.

Terrified, Alhambra summoned a small magic portal and thrust a hand through it. A much larger portal opened on the ceiling, and that same hand, now massive, shot down to try and crush Hiiro. The Rider rolled out of the way before the hand could smash into him, and lashed out with his blade, severing three of the Bugster's fingers. Howling, Alhambra withdrew his hand back through the portal, staring at his missing digits in disbelief. "Y-you… _you_ …RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Trembling with fear and rage, he let out a wild scream, his form blurring as several copies of himself suddenly materialized around Hiiro, all of their swords igniting as they raised them up to strike the Rider. "Only one of us is real, Brave! Can you guess which?" They shouted in unison.

"I don't need to." Hiiro stabbed the B button on his hilt, causing the sword to charge with power, and then whirled around in a spin attack, a halo of light arcing out from him and slicing through the copies of Alhambra, all of which dissipated as it expanded outwards and struck the _true_ Alhambra, who'd been standing some distance away, charging a much stronger attack. Grunting in pain, Alhambra was flung back…

And fell into a hole in the ground which opened rather spontaneously, only to close just as suddenly. "What?" Hiiro said in surprise. "Where did-"

Spinning like a drill, Alhambra erupted from the ground behind him, lashing out several times with his spinning blade, cutting into Hiiro's back and flinging him away. Before he could land, magical chains suddenly shot out of thin air, wrapping around his neck, waist, and limbs, halting his descent with a jerk and holding him taut. The sudden pull on his wrist was strong enough to force him to drop his sword, Gashacalibur flying end over end and burying itself in the ground some distance away. "Finally!" Alhambra cackled as he clenched his fist, causing the chains to start tightening and pulling at Hiiro's extremities, causing the Rider to gasp as he was partially strangled and his body was yanked in all directions. "At last, I have you where I want you! As helpless as you are, maybe now I can finally cast Ruin… But no, that's only tempting fate at this point." Cackling, he ignited his weapon, drawing back to deal a fatal blow. "After what you've done to my hand, I think I'll just run you through instead. Are you ready to see your girlfriend again?"

Without warning, Satsuki, now wearing a Chinese martial arts outfit with her hair in odangos, launched herself at Alhambra with a flying kick, sending him staggering back. "Wh-what?!"

"The next time Doctor Kagami will see Saki is when she's alive and well, and in his arms once more!" Satsuki cried, unleashing a flurry of surprisingly powerful punches and kicks at the startled Bugster. "You have no right to say her name!"

"Gah! Get back!" Alhambra snarled, fire erupting from his body as he lashed out with a blazing slash, slashing through Satsuki's clothes and sending her flying back. She rolled on the ground, but quickly pulled herself back up, panting but still holding herself strong, even as blood seeped from her wounds. "Idiot human!" Alhambra snarled as he charged up his blade. "You shouldn't have gotten in the way!"

He was interrupted from slaughtering Satsuki when the tip of Gashacalibur suddenly burst through his chest. "We are Doctor Kagami's assistants," Mizuki, now dressed like a ninja, said coolly as Alhambra gurgled and stared down at the blade in disbelief, hands wrapped around the sacred sword's hilt. "It is our duty to give him aid."

…

Everyone stared at the screen incredulously. "When… When did those two get so _badass_?!" Asked a stunned Taiga.

"After they were both nearly killed by the Beast Rider squadron, they asked Hiiro to train them to defend themselves," Emu explained, unable to take his eyes off the screen. "Clearly, he's a good teacher."

Kiriya whistled. "Hiiro sure has all the luck with the ladies. Why can't _I_ have assistants that pretty?"

"I… Feel as if I may have lost some measure of control over this game," said a bewildered Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD.

"That would imply you ever had any control to begin with," Parad said flatly. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD growled.

…

Mizuki wrenched the sword out of Alhambra's back and rushed over to Hiiro. The Bugster tried to go after her, only to be attacked from behind by Satsuki, who kept him distracted with her martial arts skills. With a few swings of the blade, Mizuki cut her master down. She bowed her head and offered up Gashacalibur as he caught his breath and rose back to his feet. "Hiiro-sama, we apologize for interfering in your battle. I know you probably had everything well in hand, but-"

"I did," Hiiro said with a curt nod, taking back his sword. "But I'm pleased to see how well your training has progressed."

"Neither Satsuki or I ever want to be victims again," Mizuki said severely.

"And so long as you keep this up, neither of you will be. But now, it is time to finish things. Alhambra!" Hiiro cried, getting the Bugster's attention. Seeing her superior was free, Mizuki withdrew. "This has gone on too long. It's time to end this!"

"Yes," Alhambra growled in agreement, charging energy into his weapon. "It has."

As the Bugster powered up, Hiiro took out his Gashat and inserted it into the hilt of Gashacalibur.

 **CLICK TO OPEN! FINISHING MOVE!**

 **CLICK TO CLOSE!**

 **TADDLE LEGEND CRITICAL FINISH!**

As the silhouettes of a warrior in silver and white armor and a monstrous horned figure in red and gold overlapped him, Hiiro's blade glowed brighter than the sun, and he charged towards Alhambra.

Alhambra's sword burst into flames, and a fiery silhouette of a Chinese Dragon wrapped around him as he surged forwards, charging to meet the Rider. _**"Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do Crimson Exploding Dragon Sword!"**_

The two warriors met in the center of the cave, blades clashing with a tremendous thunderclap and blinding flash of light which rocked the cavern, forcing Satsuki and Mizuki to quickly take evasive maneuvers to avoid pieces of debris falling from the ceiling. As the energy building up around the two blade-locked warriors grew to the point where neither of them could be visible, there was the sound of something shattering, another thunderclap, a cry of agony, and then…

Hiiro stood several meters away from the center of the room, his blade extended to his side, his back to Alhambra. The Bugster stood very still behind him, the hilt of Graphite Fang clutched tightly in his hand… And that was _all_ he held, the blade having been completely destroyed. A death rattle rising from his throat, he fell to the ground and exploded.

 **PERFECT!**

Hiiro raised his sword into the air. "I dedicate this victory to Fruit Jesus and Lord Baron." Holding his sword point down towards the ground, he knelt and bowed his head in prayer. Satsuki and Mizuki knelt beside him, doing the same thing.

…

At the restaurant, Tsubasa was desperately holding onto what was left of his almost completely disappeared lover, desperately praying to every deity in the Gaimist pantheon-even _Sigurd_ , who had absolutely no worshipers whatsoever because it was universally acknowledged that Sid had been an irredeemable asshole, and he'd only been included in the pantheon for the sake of completion- when Suki suddenly took a deep breath and opened her eyes, her body regaining its tangibility. "S-Suki?" He whispered, barely able to allow himself to hope.

"Yes," she said weakly.

He gave her a confused look. "Yes? What do you mean?"

"Yes," she said. "I will marry you."

Tsubasa stared her blankly for a moment, and then burst into laughter as realization dawned on him. "Oh… Oh, thank Gaim." He kissed her, and the restaurant patrons and staff that hadn't fled when Alhambra appeared applauded.

At the edge of the room, Hiiro closed his eyes, a brief look of pain flashing across his face. Satsuki and Mizuki gave him concerned looks, but he turned away, leaving the room.

…

When Hiiro materialized on the warp point, his friends applauded… And then stared in confusion as Satsuki and Mizuki appeared after him. "What are they doing here?" Asked a puzzled Parad.

Hiiro shrugged. "They asked if they could come. I didn't see any reason why not."

"Also, we brought cake," Satsuki said, holding up a cake.

"Any premature objections to their presence I may have been about to utter, I immediately withdraw," Taiga said seriously, staring at the cake with longing.

"Do you have enough for all of us?" Kiriya asked hopefully.

"We do! Except for Kuroto," Mizuki said, glaring at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "He doesn't get any." Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD! And I never gave you permission to bring anyone else here!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD protested, totally not upset that he wasn't going to get any cake.

"You never said I couldn't," Hiiro countered.

"You also never gave him permission to use Taddle Legend, or get outside help, but that didn't stop it from happening," Kiriya pointed out.

"Grr… Fine! But it can never happen again during this game!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped angrily.

"We make absolutely zero promises that that will happen," Parad said bluntly. The others nodded in agreement.

"You realize that if you push me too far, I'll just give up on the game and release a new epidemic, right?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snarled in frustration.

"And if you push _us_ too far, we'll stop playing along and kill you again," Taiga promised.

"You can _try_ ," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD sneered. "Or have you forgotten that in this form, I'm completely immune to physical attacks?"

"Are you immune to my Gashacon Key Slasher's reprogramming ability?" Emu asked. "Or Muteki?"

There was a long, telling pause. "… Give me a slice of cake and we'll call it even," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said finally.

"Deal. You can have half of Taiga's," Kiriya said.

"Wait, what?!" Taiga protested.

"Anyway, it's time to move on," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said as Hiiro began to precisely cut the cake, Taiga scowling as he saw how much smaller his piece was from everyone else's. "Better get this question right, Emu, or its back-to-back Bugsters for you and your friends!"

 **How many times did I die from overworking while trying to re-create Hyper Muteki after my father reset it from existence?**

 **A. 28**

 **B. 12**

 **C. 26**

…

 **Phew, that was the longest chapter of the story so far. I hope you liked it, and didn't mind Hiiro's new form or the addition of his nurses to the plot too much. I thought it would be cool. What did you think of the battle?**


	8. Question 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Uh, let's see… I think the answer is… 12?" Emu guessed.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "I did indeed use up 12 of my extra lives trying to re-create Hyper Muteki from scratch. Discounting deaths in battle against my father or other enemies, the only thing that used up more of my lives was trying to create Mighty Doctor XX with Kiriya."

"And I enjoyed every minute of it," Kiriya recalled with a fond smile.

"Even almost dying from the Gamedeus virus?" Taiga asked.

Kiriya shrugged. "It would've been worth it."

"You know, I'm starting to regret sparing your life back then," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grumbled. Kiriya stuck his tongue out in response.

Parad chuckled. "Still, it's kind of funny that one of your biggest losses of extra lives was something as silly as overwork."

All the doctors glared him. "Parad, that's not funny," Emu said angrily.

Parad blinked. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"Death by exhaustion from overworking is a serious problem here in Japan," Hiiro said seriously. "It's an unfortunate symptom of our corporate culture."

Taiga nodded. "We've had to treat a number of people over the years that nearly killed themselves stressing their bodies past the breaking point trying to meet their deadlines in time."

"And I've had to examine the bodies of more than my share of people who didn't get treatment in time," Kiriya said crossly.

"It's such a big problem that we even have dedicated suicide prevention hotlines to help stop people from killing themselves due to stress from their jobs," Emu informed his partner. "And they're so busy callers often have to try 30 to 40 times before they can actually talk to someone."

"Roughly 30,000 Japanese citizens commit suicide a year, and a sizable number of them are due to overwork," Hiiro said. "It's a serious problem, and the government and corporations have been working for years to create policies to make sure employees work reasonable hours and don't stress themselves out to the point of mental breakdowns. Even then, there are still far too many people who almost literally work themselves to death. It's called _karoshi_ , and is no laughing matter."

"I-I'm sorry," Parad apologized, chastened. "I didn't realize it was that big a deal. I'll try and be more considerate in the future."

"See that you do," Taiga grunted.

Kiriya nodded. "We always need to keep in mind that while some people around here seem to have the benefit of infinite continues or cheap ways of coming back from the dead all the time," he said, glaring at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "The majority of folks have one life and that's it. Game over. And there's nothing funny about that." The other doctors nodded in solemn agreement.

"… When did this turn into an anti-suicide/overwork PSA?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD wondered, bewildered. "Can we just get back to the game already?"

"Oh, right, sorry," Emu said apologetically. "What's the next question?"

"Funnily enough, this one also has something to do with a Rider who's died and come back more than his fair share," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, gesturing to the screen.

 **How many times has Takeru Tenkuji (Kamen Rider Ghost) died?**

 **A. Three**

 **B. Four**

 **C. Five**

…

 **Kind of a short one, huh? Sorry for turning it into a somewhat serious message about the Japanese penchant for working themselves to death and the importance of not life. I promise the next chapter will be extra silly to compensate.**


	9. Question 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Wait, which one was Takeru again?" Asked a confused Parad. "Is he the one traveling around the world with lots of spare underwear trying to find a way to bring back his dead boyfriend, who was some sort of floating disembodied arm?"

"No, that's OOO," Kiriya said. "Takeru was the one who's always going on about how he believes in himself and humanity's infinite potential."

"Oh, right, the Wizard," Parad said with a nod.

"No, that's Haruto. His theme is hope, not humanity's infinite potential," Hiiro corrected him.

Parad frowned. "You're sure? I thought he had some sort of 'Infinity' form."

"He does. So does Takeru," Taiga explained.

"Oh. Think that ever gets confusing?" Parad wondered.

"I don't think so," Kiriya said.

"It doesn't matter anyway, because this is a trick question. The answer is D. None of the above," Emu said authoritatively.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD burst into laughter. "Ha! Nice try, Emu, but that's completely-" He jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Wait, what?! No, that can't be right! That's the wrong answer! Cut that out!" With a dejected groan, the Bugsters stopped clapping and the stage returned to normal.

"Actually, it's the right answer," Emu corrected Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Takeru has almost died as many times as you, Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. "And explain yourself this instant!"

"I was trying to," Emu said in annoyance. "He's actually died a surprising number of times, only to be brought back to life each time by a blatant deus ex machina. His friends were horrified the first time it happened after he came back to life at the end of his series… Of adventures, but then he got better, only to die again… And again… And again… And again… So by this point, they've become so desensitized to it they don't even bat an eye when he spontaneously drops dead and just move him out of the way until he gets better. I hear they've even start a betting pool – – open to all Riders, actually – – as to how long until his next death, how he dies, how long it'll take for him to come back, _how_ he'll come back, and whether or not he'll spontaneously get new powers when he returns, since that's apparently happened a surprising number of times."

"I made 1000 yen just last week when he choked on some takoyaki his friend Alain brought him from his home dimension," Kiriya said happily.

"What?! That's horrible!" Parad cried, aghast.

"Yeah, I heard it was some pretty good takoyaki," Kiriya agreed.

"No, that's… You guys were just giving me a hassle about making fun of Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Dying from overwork, but it's okay to make bets on someone else dying?!" Parad asked incredulously.

"We weren't giving you trouble for making fun of Kuroto-" Hiiro began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"We were telling you off for making light of the concept of dying from overwork in general," Hiiro finished.

Taiga nodded in agreement. "Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Dying that way is funny because we knew he would come back. Someone _else_ dying isn't as funny. You understand?" Taiga finished.

Parad frowned. "I… Think so? It's kind of confusing."

"Comedy often is," Kiriya said sagely.

"I… Was unaware of this," said a perplexed and annoyed Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Do they have any idea as to why he keeps dying and coming back?"

"Well, his friend Akari is a scientist, and she's been studying him rather extensively and performing all sorts of horrific and inhumane experiments on him with the rationalization that, since he'll just bounce back, it doesn't matter if he dies a few times in the name of science," Emu explained. "Another one of his friends, Onari, is a monk who believes that maybe Takeru dying in the first place wasn't supposed to happen and the universe is struggling to rebalance itself by keeping him alive, but the gods of death keep trying to claim his soul again because they're fed up with Riders and Sentai and kaijin and whatnot going back and forth between life and death all the time…With the end result that _Takeru_ is going back and forth between life and death of the time, because these cosmic powers are playing tug-of-war with his soul." He shrugged. "Ultimately, nobody's really sure."

"I see," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD murmured. "Well, unfortunately, I can't count that answer because the question itself was clearly flawed. Let's try that again…"

The monitor changed to display a new question:

 **How many times has Takeru Tenkuji (Kamen Rider Ghost) died during his series…of adventures and the times he's teamed up with us?**

 **A. Three**

 **B. Four**

 **C. Five**

"… Yeah, the answer is still none of the above," Emu said apologetically.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "No! No, stop! STOP!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted, causing the lights to turn back to normal and the disappointed audience to quiet down. "What are you talking about? I'm pretty sure he didn't die more than that during those periods of time!"

"Actually, on his way home from the Doctor Pac-Man incident he crashed his bike, but it was conveniently near the grave of the legendary Tobei Tachibana, one of the greatest and most influential allies to Riders throughout history, and he revived Takeru and entrusted his spirit to him in the form of the Tachibana Eyecon," Emu explained. "And when the Enigma blew up, a big chunk of it speared him through the chest and killed him instantly, but thankfully his body was able to absorb some of the cosmic energies it'd been collecting that was supposed to make Kaisei Mogami immortal, and he was miraculously resurrected."

"Are you… Are you serious?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD demanded incredulously. "Are you just fucking with me right now?!"

"No, it's all true," Emu insisted.

The other Riders, save for Parad, nodded in agreement. "Wait, how come I didn't know about this?" Asked the confused Bugster.

"Because you probably don't read the newsletter," Kiriya said.

Parad blinked. "… There's a newsletter?"

"Of course there is, how else would we know when and where to go for important team ups or parties?" Hiiro scoffed.

"Oh," Parad said.

"Oh for the love of… Okay, let's do this one last time!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snarled in exasperation.

Once again, the display changed. This time it said:

 **How many times has Takeru Tenkuji (Kamen Rider Ghost) died during his series…of adventures** _ **before**_ **he became a Legend Rider?**

 **A. Three**

 **B. Four**

 **C. Five**

"Four," Emu said.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "No, no, we did that twice already! We don't need to do it again!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. The Bugsters sulked and sat back down as the lights and display returned to normal. "Anyway, you are correct, the answer is four. Takeru died at the very beginning of his adventure and came back as Ghost. He died again when his initial 99-day time limit ran out and he wasted most of it lounging around and not looking for the Eyecons he needed to wish himself back to life, only to come back with a power up thanks to his father sacrificing his soul to revive him. He died a third time when his personal Eyecon was destroyed by a Ganmaiser but was brought back by everyone's wishes with his ultimate form. Finally, he died _again_ when he had to destroy his original body, which had been turned into the ultimate Eyecon, to thwart the villainous Argos' plans to wipe out all life on Earth and Ganma world, only to be brought back by the power of the legendary heroes' spirits and Charles Darwin. Since that's apparently something the ghost of Charles Darwin can do now."

"Take _that_ , creationists," Kiriya joked.

"… Wow, Emu, you're right, that is a lot of deaths and deus ex machinas," said a disturbed Parad.

"And they've only gotten cheaper and cheaper as time goes on," Taiga agreed.

"And speaking of cheap deaths, here's your next question," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, gesturing at the screen, which changed once again.

 **How many times have I,** **Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, died?**

 **A. 101**

 **B. 102**

 **C. 103**

…

 **We sure have had a lot of questions about death lately, haven't we? Don't worry, we'll change the subject to something different next chapter.**

 **And no, I didn't hate Kamen Rider Ghost. I just didn't like it nearly as much as what came before or after. Also, Takeru himself was kind of milquetoast. Makoto was a much cooler guy. So was Alain, before they nerfed him. No wonder he didn't get his own movie.**


	10. Boss Stage 3 and Question 9

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Aha! Another trick question!" Parad shouted. "The answer to that is none of the above as well!"

"What? No it's not!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD protested.

"Actually, it kind of is," Emu said. "None of those numbers are high enough to cover how many times you've died."

"Yeah, they're off by nearly a dozen," Kiriya agreed.

"What you talking about? No, they aren't!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD argued.

"Then what about all the times you died before Emu was able to reprogram Dangerous Zombie?" Hiiro asked.

There was a long pause. "Those… Those don't count," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD stammered.

"… You forgot about them, didn't you?" Parad asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"No, I didn't!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted unconvincingly.

"Really? In that case, how many times _did_ you die before Emu was able to reprogram Dangerous Zombie?" Taiga questioned.

"I'm the quizmaster here! You're the ones who have to answer questions, not me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cried indignantly.

Emu shook his head. "Considering this question and the last one, I'm starting to think that you're not very good at counting deaths, Kuroto."

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted angrily. "Just… Just answer the question already! And forget about the times I died as a zombie, they don't count!"

"Are you going to change the question to reflect that, or…?" Hiiro asked.

"Just choose a dam answer already!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted furiously.

"All right, let's see… Parad killed him once-" Taiga recalled.

"Which I don't regret," Parad said.

"And then he died 99 more times, with Kiriya finishing him off," Emu continued.

"I don't regret that, either," Kiriya said.

"Which gives us a total of 100, which is still fewer than any of the options," Hiiro said with a frown. "What are we missing?"

Kiriya snapped his fingers. "Oh! There was the time we killed him again in the Goriders game!"

"Does that count? Wasn't he already dead when that happened?" Taiga asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, I mean, the dead can't die twice… Can they?" Parad asked uncertainly.

"Certainly hasn't stopped Takeru," Emu pointed out.

Kiriya shrugged. "We had an epic fight with him, which ended when he got pushed into a black hole. That's as good as dead in my books."

"All right, so that's 101," Taiga accepted. "Are there any others?"

"What about the Genm you and Kiriya fought in Bakosou Treasure? Does that count?" Parad asked.

Emu and Kiriya considered this for a moment, and then shook their heads. "No, I think that was just an NPC," Emu said.

Kiriya nodded in agreement. "Yeah, if that had been an actual instance of Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted angrily.

"Then he would have been more talkative," Kiriya concluded.

Hiiro nodded. "Fair enough. So that means the answer should be 101… Unless there are any others we're missing?"

The doctors considered this for a moment. They couldn't think of any other times when Kuroto had died. "Then I guess its 101," Taiga said.

Emu nodded. "All right. Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted angrily.

"The answer is-"

Satsuki and Mizuki, who'd been silent for the last several minutes, started, a thought suddenly occurring to them. "Doctor Houjou, wait! That's not-"

"101!" Emu announced.

"The right answer!" The two nurses cried too late.

"Huh? What do you-" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"Oh, too bad, Emu! Looks like you missed a couple. And weren't you just accusing _me_ of being bad at counting deaths just a second ago?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD crooned mockingly.

"I-I don't understand," Emu protest. "What did we miss?!"

"Doctor Houjou, you forgot about Kuroto's-" Satsuki began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted angrily.

"First death," Mizuki finished.

"Uh, no, we didn't. We already mentioned me killing him," Parad pointed out.

Satsuki shook her head. "Yes, but _that_ wasn't the first time he died."

"What? Of course it was!" Parad protested.

Hiiro's eyes widened in alarm. "No… No, it wasn't. Emu, how did Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted angrily.

"Complete Dangerous Zombie?" Hiiro asked.

"Huh? Well, he got 'data of death," Emu recalled.

"And how did he get that data?" Hiiro asked.

"By… By me giving him a Game Over…" Emu said slowly, horror dawning on him.

"Oh, come on!" Taiga protested. "You're going to count that, but not all the times you died as a zombie?"

"I wasn't a zombie when I got that Game Over," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD pointed out.

"No, but you became one! Now you're just being pedantic!" Taiga protested.

"And this is a surprise?" Kiriya snarked.

"… Good point," Taiga conceded.

"Even discounting that death, there's one other you forgot," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD continued. "When I was beaten in Cho Super Hero Taisen."

"… Wait, that counted?" Emu asked in surprise.

"Well, he already established that he considered the Game World Riders more or less the same as the real Legend ones…" Hiiro pointed out.

Emu winced. "Oh. Dammit."

"And since you got a question wrong, you know what that means!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said excitedly. He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them.

Everyone groaned. "Oh boy, here we go," Kiriya grumbled.

"Who are we up against this time?" Taiga wondered.

The screen changed to show a scrawny, worn-out, glasses-wearing salaryman sitting at his cubicle, answering phone calls with a look of utter misery and despair on his borderline unattractive face. "Meet Koichi Kuza. As of late, his life has been one horrible mess after another. His kidneys are failing, and he's so far down the donor list it's quite likely he's going to die before he can get the lifesaving surgery he needs, and he can't really afford it anyway. His wife has just left him and taken the kids, the car, and the dog. He's stuck at a dead-end job he hates and, unbeknownst to him, his boss is about to fire him so he can afford a new yacht. Also, he's nearly completely broke after foolishly investing in the wrong stocks, the rent is overdue and he's about to be kicked out of his apartment, his parents disowned him, he has no friends, his coworkers hate him, and, left to his own devices, he'll probably kill himself before the day is out." Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled sadistically. "Let's make his life even _worse_ , shall we?"

…

"No, ma'am, I wasn't trying to imply that you were an idiot – – I was merely asking if you'd remembered to plug the device in – – no, I wasn't suggesting that you didn't understand how to work the device, I was just trying to – – ma'am, please, there's no need to say such hurtful things – –guck!" Koichi clutched his chest and fell out of his chair, the phone dangling on its cord, the customer on the other end screaming abuse.

Some of Koichi's coworkers poked their heads up over the cubicle walls. "Hey, Koichi, if you're having a heart attack, can you keep it down? I've almost beaten my high score," complained one salaryman who'd been playing computer games instead of doing his work.

"Or at least save it until later? I bet that you'd get one _after_ the boss fired you, not before," said another coworker.

"GAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Koichi screamed, throwing up as an orange mass formed on his back and sprung off, growing and reshaping itself into a gray monster wearing orange armor resembling the nose of a fighter jet over its torso with a flight unit on its back, a turbine for a right arm, a machine gun and missile launchers on its left arm, a tactical support unit with a small Gatling gun covering the left side of its face, and another machine gun over its right shoulder.

The Bugster laughed insanely and started opening fire, blasting its many weapons at the ceiling while the office workers screamed and ducked for cover. "I have returned to wage a new war against mankind! Gyahahahaha!"

…

"It's Revol!" Parad gasped.

"And it looks like he's gotten some augments from Vernier. Let me guess, you infused him with the data from Jet Combat?" Hiiro asked Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD nodded. "Indeed I did! And thanks to this upgrade, he is now an incredible level 35!"

Everyone stared at him. "So… The weakest Bugster so far?" Parad asked a moment.

"You realize all of us can turn into forms much higher than that, right?" Kiriya pointed out.

"Isn't your maximum level 10?" Asked a puzzled Mizuki.

"Not 10, X. There's a difference," Kiriya insisted.

"He is not weak!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted. "He will prove to be one of your most challenging opponents yet!"

"Uhuh, sure," Kiriya said flippantly.

"Well, since he's the weakest Bugster, I guess we should send the weakest Rider. Guess you're up, Taiga," Parad said, slapping the Doctor on the back.

"Weakest… Hey! What do you mean by that?!" Taiga asked indignantly.

"Your strongest form is level 50. That puts you far behind everyone else, even Poppy, given she's also X instead of 10," Hiiro pointed out.

"I'm stronger than Poppy!" Taiga insisted.

"I don't know, the two of you have never had a proper fight," Kiriya joked.

"Well, how do you know that I don't also have a new form I've been saving for a special occasion just like Hiiro which will blow you all out of the water?" Taiga asked angrily.

"… Do you?" Emu asked.

Taiga sagged. "No."

"Why not?" Parad asked.

Taiga threw his hands up in exasperation. "Because it never occurred to me that I might need or could even get one until now, okay?! Geez!" He glanced at Emu. "Emu, you don't think I'm the weakest Rider, right?"

"…I plead the fifth," Emu said hesitantly.

"WE'RE NOT AMERICANS!" Taiga screamed.

"Given how many guns you tote, that's a surprise," Kiriya quipped.

"As hilarious as watching you confront your inadequacies is, you should probably get going," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD suggested. "You don't want any of those stray bullets to kill anyone, do you?"

Taiga scowled. "Right, good point. I'm on my way. Because Revol is my enemy, _not_ because I'm the weakest Rider!"

"Just keep telling yourself that," Kiriya said with a shit-eating grin.

"I hate you so much," Taiga growled as he stomped over to the warp point.

…

"My, you really are a nervous wreck, aren't you?" Revol observed, leering down at the terrified, sobbing Koichi. "I don't think I even need to do anything to push you over the limit. You look like you're on the brink all by yourself. Still, since I'm here, I might as well have some fun." He rose to his feet and slowly swiveled around the office, guns primed. "So, which of you wants to volunteer to be target practice? First one to stand up gets shot!"

"REVOL!"

"Eh? What-" was all Revol managed to get out before Taiga tackled him from out of nowhere, sending both of them flying through a nearby window in a shower of glass. As the two of them began tumbling towards the streets below, Taiga's arms fiercely wrapped around the Bugster's chest, Revol screamed, "You fool! What have you done?! Don't you know I'm afraid of heights?!"

…

Everyone stared at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD in disbelief. "… You gave a Bugster with acrophobia flight capability?" Emu asked incredulously.

"Shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD growled.

…

As Taiga continued to grapple with the Bugster, he engaged his Driver. "Mission start."

 **JET COMBAT!**

"Tactics No. 3. Henshin!"

 **CLICK AND OPEN!**

 **LEVEL UP!**

 **BA-BANG-BANG! BANG-BA-BANG! YOW! BANG BANG SHOOTING! A GACHA! JET! JET! IN THE SKY! JET! JET! JET COMBA~T!**

A small robot resembling a jet plane shot out of Taiga's chest, blasting through Revol in the process before flying around and merging with Taiga, covering his chest and shoulders with armor, giving him jet wings on his back, and covering his head with a helmet resembling a fighter pilot's. A pair of hip mounted Gatling guns swiveled up and began firing at Revol at point-blank range, sparks and shell casings flying. Crying out in pain (but mostly terror), Revol flailed about wildly, accidentally firing an electromagnetic tornado from the turbine on his right arm which blasted Taiga off. Taiga cursed in alarm as his heads up display flickered and his thrusters malfunctioned, but thankfully his suit rebooted itself just in time to keep him from smashing into the pavement.

Regrettably, Revol's flight unit kicked in just before he could crash into the ground, and he rocketed off wildly, screaming at the top of his lungs and firing his (many, MANY) weapons off in every direction, shattering glass and wrecking cars and buildings as his bullets and missiles impacted all over the place. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP THIS CRAZY THING!"

 _Crap! He may be more dangerous out of control than he would be on the ground_! Taiga swore, noticing with some alarm that there were a number of injured people lying around the streets and sidewalks, howling in pain as blood gushed from bullet wounds or severed limbs that had been blown off by stray explosions. _I've gotta get him out of here. If I can get close enough, Stage Select can transport us to somewhere there won't be any civilians._

Jets flaring, Taiga took off after Revol, whose out-of-control flight took him on a chaotic course through the city, caroming off of buildings and firing shots everywhere, leaving a path of destruction in his wake. Taiga quickly caught up to the wailing Bugster and tried to track him with his targeting software… Only for his heads up display to blur and get filled with static whenever he tried to focus on Revol. _Huh? Is this thing glitching from that electromagnetic blast?_ He tapped the side of his head a few times, but the display still malfunctioned whenever he tried locking onto Revol. _Dammit, I don't have time for this! I'll just have to be very careful with my shots, then._ He drew his trusty sidearm, the Gashacon Magnum, switching it to its rifle form. _Good thing I'm such a good marksman._

Sighting along the barrel of the rifle, Taiga fired a shot an instant before Revol passed through his crosshairs. Much to his surprise, the shot missed. _That's… Not right,_ he thought in alarm. _Even if something's wrong with my targeting software, my rifle shots should still be able to home in on him. What's going on here?_

"Hey, Revol! Why can't I lock on to you?" He shouted at the Bugster.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-oh, my upgrades include a jamming device, which disables your targeting and auto-homing abilities-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Revol screamed.

"Well, that explains that," he muttered. How inconvenient. He switched his gun back to its handgun mode and took aim again, reasoning that even though in this form his weapon wasn't as strong as it was, as a rifle, he had a lower risk of hurting anyone if he missed. He opened fire, doing his best to lead his shots to take into account Revol's unpredictable flailing. Despite his best efforts, more shots missed then hit, but those that did hit impacted with a satisfying bang and a 'Hit' flash, even the glancing blows sending Revol spinning even further out of control.

"C-cut it out!" He wailed as he corkscrewed wildly. "You're making me sick! I feel like I'm going to-urp- throw up at any minute!"

"… Can you actually throw up?" Taiga wondered, perplexed.

"I fear we will both find out—oooohhhh- soon enough!" Revol moaned.

"Set down," Taiga urged the Bugster. "You clearly have no idea how to fly that thing, and you're just as much a danger to yourself as everyone else the longer this keeps up!"

"You think I know how to land?!" Revol yelled. "If I knew how, I would've done it a long time ago!"

 _Crap,_ Taiga thought. "I don't suppose I could get you to hold still long enough for me to shoot out that flight unit? If you get down to ground level, we can finish this on more even footing!"

"Oh, right, where you'll demolish me with your superior firepower! No thanks, I think I'll take my chances up here!" Revol declared, though he didn't sound particularly happy or convinced.

"Then I'll just _force_ the issue!" Taiga snarled, firing a missile at the Bugster. Either by intention or more of his wild and panicked flight, Revol dodged the projectile. Taiga immediately brought up his gun and shot the missile just as it passed Revol, the explosion slamming into Revol and flinging him backwards, right into Taiga's waiting arms. The Rider grunted as the Bugster slammed into him and nearly failed to grab a hold of him. Wincing as the exhaust from Revol's thrusters burned against his lower body, Taiga managed to wrap an arm around the Bugster's midsection, and with the other, hit the switch on his Driver for Stage Select…

 **ERROR!**

"Huh?" Taiga toggled the switch again.

 **ERROR!**

 **ERROR!**

 **ERROR!**

"What the heck? What's wrong with this thing?!" Taiga demanded.

"Oh, my jamming signal also prevents your Stage Select from working, and disables the auto-eject feature on your Driver which changes you back to normal when you're critically injured before you can get a Game Over," Revol said, suddenly sounding much calmer. "Phew. Thanks for catching me, by the way. I'm feeling a lot better, now. You know… Being up this high isn't that bad after all, now that I think about it. Why, I think I've conquered my fear of heights! Not only that, I'm pretty sure I better understand how to fly now!"

"What?!" Taiga cried in disbelief. "That's impossible! How could you have possibly gotten over it and figured it out that fast?!"

…

Everyone glared at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, who was typing away on a holographic keyboard. "What?" He asked defensively.

"Are you seriously reprogramming Revol mid-fight to get rid of his acrophobia, and teach him how to use his flight unit?!" Emu demanded, outraged.

"Yeah, that's cheating!" Parad agreed.

"What makes you think I'm reprogramming him?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD asked. "How do you know I'm not ordering pizza for everyone to celebrate Taiga's inevitable victory?"

Kiriya raised an eyebrow. "Do you _really_ expect us to buy that?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD hesitated. "… Okay, look, if I actually buy pizza, can we let this drop?"

"There's no way we'll-" Hiiro started.

"Can I get stuffed crust?" Parad asked. Everyone stared him. "What? I like pizza."

"You just had cake!" Emu protested.

"Yes, and by the time the pizza arrives, I'll have room for more," Parad reasoned. Emu facepalmed.

Kiriya shrugged. "… Eh, I guess I can go for some pizza. Extra pepperoni for me. Oh, and extra mushrooms for Taiga."

"Isn't Taiga allergic to mushrooms?" Emu asked.

Kiriya grinned. "Is he now?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled as he started entering the order. "Anyone else?"

Emu sighed, giving in. "Fine, I'll have the meat lover's pizza. Also with stuffed crust."

"I'll be content with a cheese pizza, but Mizuki will want everything," Satsuki said.

Mizuki nodded seriously. "And I mean EVERYTHING."

"I'll take a pineapple," Hiiro said. Everyone stared at him in horror. "What? It's one of Gaim's sacred fruits."

"And you call _me_ a monster," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD muttered in disgust as he placed the order. "All right, I've placed the order, and got myself something too. I'm going to dispatch some Bugsters to harass the delivery guy."

"What?! Why would you do that?! I thought you wanted the pizza!" Emu cried in disbelief.

"I did! But if he gets here in more than 30 minutes it's free. I'm not exactly made of money right now ever since I lost control of my company, so I have to cut corners wherever I can," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said defensively. "Don't worry, they aren't going to actually hurt him, just slow him down."

"… Should we really allow him to do this? I mean, are we actually condoning the sort of behavior?" Emu asked his friends in disbelief.

"Emu, just be quiet, watch Taiga, and enjoy the fact that we're soon going to have free pizza," Parad told his partner gently. Emu sighed in exasperation.

…

"And now that I've conquered my fear of heights, it's time to conquer you as well!" Revol declared, firing some missiles ahead of him, then flaring his jets sideways, spinning around as the missiles turned around and homed back in on them, striking Taiga in the back with an explosion which knocked him off of Revol, crying out in pain. Laughing evilly, Revol took off, his course much steadier than before, firing his guns at the buildings around him as he flew past, shattering windows and causing the people inside to scream in fear and panic, more than a few collapsing as broken glass or bullets pierced their flesh.

"Dammit!" Taiga took off after Revol, firing at him with his Gashacon Magnum. Unfortunately, now that he had miraculously gained mastery over his ability to fly, Revol was harder to hit than ever, always managing to evade the energy bullets just before they could hit him, laughing madly as he returned fire. Taiga reflexively dodged to the side as an electromagnetic whirlwind billowed towards him, only for it to keep going and tear up the street below, sending cars and pedestrians flying. "NO!"

"Oh dear, I do believe that attack was meant for you. Bad show, Taiga, allowing other people to get hit by instead!" Revol taunted.

"Revol, this is between you and me!" Taiga snapped furiously. "Leave everyone else out of it!"

Revol shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that, Taiga. As a soldier, I'm obligated to use every tool at my disposal to achieve victory. Civilian casualties are always an unintended, but not unexpected, consequence of war. If you want to change that, you're going to need to step up your game, or maybe stop dodging so much. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, right?"

Hand shaking, Taiga clutched his gun hard enough to hurt his fingers and pointed at the Bugster. "Revol… I'm going to fill you with so many holes, you're going to think twice about coming back anytime soon."

"Pretty words. Let's see if you can back them up!" Revol fired a pair of missiles at a building and took off again. Taiga quickly blasted the missiles out of the air with a few shots from his gun and chased after the Bugster.

The duo resumed their chase through the city. Rather than attacking Taiga, Revol continued targeting buildings, cars, and civilians, forcing Taiga to pass up opportunities to shoot his foe to prevent civilians from getting hurt, either by blasting Revol's projectiles out of the air or by using his own body as a shield. His Rider Gauge was taking a significant beating as he continued getting pelted by bullets, missiles, and tornadoes, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he either slipped up and let someone die, or suffered a Game Over.

 _There's gotta be something I can do_ , he thought in frustration as Revol launched half a dozen Combat Gamer drones at him. Taiga did a corkscrew spin as he passed through the ring of drones, blasting them with his Gatling guns and blowing them to pieces. _I can't take much more of this!_

"Oh, look, a school bus! And I think there are even some nuns in it! That should be worth bonus points," Revol commented, sighting his next target. His turbine powered up, and he blasted another whirlwind at the bus. Frantic, Taiga pushed his jets to their limits, diving in front of the whirlwind and taking the full brunt of the attack, the force of the blast slamming him into the roof of the bus hard enough to dent it and frighten the passengers. "Darn, you got in the way! Oh well, maybe next time," Revol cackled as he flew off in search of more prey.

Head pounding and his Rider Gauge beeping ominously, Taiga groaned as he struggled to pull himself out of the dent in the roof. _Dammit… What am I supposed to do?_ He thought in frustration. A shaft of sunlight by chance happened to pass through a crack in his visor and pierce his eyes, causing him to wince. _Oh great, like I need blindness on top of all my other injuries… Wait… That's it!_

Struck by an epiphany, he activated his thrusters, blasting off from the roof (unintentionally damaging it further) and rocketing into the sky.

Elsewhere, Revol slowed down, spotting his next target. "I didn't get that bus earlier… But blowing up an entire school should more than make up for that!" The Bugster cackled, aiming at the building teeming with children. "Better think fast, Taiga, no Kamen Rider worth their salt will let a child get hurt!" There was no response. "Taiga?" Perplexed, Revol glanced around, only to see that his nemesis was nowhere to be found. "Where did you go?"

"REVOL!"

"Huh? Oh, there you are-GAH!" Revol cried out, flinching and covering his eyes as he instinctively looked up to where Taiga had been crying out from… Only to stare right into the sun.

Taiga, his form blotted out by the brilliant light of the sun, dove down from the sky, tackling Revol and shooting towards the ground at full throttle. The Bugster cursed and tried to knock him off, but Taiga grabbed his arms to keep them spread apart, locked his legs around Revol's waist, and furiously headbutted the Bugster and blasted him with his hip-mounted guns repeatedly to keep him disoriented. They crashed to the ground, plowing a long trench through the sidewalk as both their thrusters kept going at full force, propelling them down the street and shredding Revol's back, causing him to scream in pain and disorientation as Taiga continued to headbutt him and fired his Gatling guns at point-blank range to keep him stunned. Revol's thrusters, taking massive damage from being dragged along the ground, let loose a sudden burst of exhaust, propelling them back into the air for a brief, sick arc before crashing down again on the floor of a nearby sunken plaza.

Revol managed to shake Taiga off and jumped, trying to return to the air. His badly damaged flight unit spluttered, hiccupped, and then seemed to resume operating properly…

Until Taiga fired a shot from his Magnum, causing the jetpack to explode spectacularly, flinging the screaming Bugster into a pillar. Groaning, he slid down its length to the ground. "Unnnhhhh…" He tried to pull himself to his feet, only to find Taiga's gun in his face. "Uh-oh."

"It's over, Revol," Taiga snarled, squeezing the trigger.

Revol gave Taiga look that was far too calm for someone literally staring death in the face. "I wouldn't be too sure of that."

"What are you talking-" and that's when Taiga suddenly noticed several red dots clustered around his chest. "What?"

Suddenly, several dozen Bugster Viruses dressed like soldiers rushed into the plaza from all sides, crouching down and aiming their guns over each other at Taiga, trapping the Rider in a ring of lethal crossfire. Chuckling, Revol staggered to his feet and took a few steps back, the soldiers breaking ranks to let him through. "You forgot, Taiga, I'm not just a soldier, but a colonel. And what sort of commanding officer doesn't go anywhere without subordinates close at hand to fight his enemies for him?"

"If you think this is going to stop-" Taiga began.

"I do, actually," Revol interrupted. "You seem to have forgotten that your Rider Gauge is almost completely depleted. While you disabled my flight unit, my jammer is still working, meaning that all I have to do is give the command, and you die here for real." He grinned. "Except, of course, that I've no intention of killing you. Not if I don't have to, anyway."

"Huh?" Taiga asked, confused.

"My host has only minutes left to live, Taiga. Once he dies, I will be complete… And you? You will have lost a second patient," Revol said with a cruel chuckle. "I wonder if the ministry of health will take away your license again? Or maybe, just maybe… Your guilt will drive you to resign? Or maybe even drive you to pick up your gun… and turn it on yourself? Either way, I'll relish knowing that I have forced you to relive your greatest failure for a second time."

Taiga shook with rage. " _ **REVOL**_ _…"_

"Don't take that tone with me, Taiga, or I might order my troops to pull the trigger. I really don't want to do that, you know. I see no reason to cut your suffering short," Revol said cruelly.

…

"… Wow. That's dark," commented a disturbed Kiriya.

"Did you tweak his programming to make him that big a bastard? I don't remember him being _this_ much of a sadist," said a disgusted Parad.

"I may have made a few adjustments," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD admitted. "All for the sake of making the game more interesting, of course."

Emu pounded his fists onto the podium. "Kuroto!"

"Ultimate-" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD began, only for Emu to cut him off.

"If Taiga dies, or the patient dies, then we're not playing by your rules anymore!" Emu snapped.

"Remember, I can't be harmed in this form," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD pointed out quickly. "And if you try to level up to reprogram me, I'll release the new epidemic I warned you about! The lives of thousands of people will be at risk, and it'll all be on your head!"

Emu glared. "For once… For once, I'm not sure I care."

Everyone stared at him in amazement. Parad whistled. "… Wow. You must be REALLY angry."

"Even a saint's patience has its limits," Mizuki said wisely.

"Well, you can count me in," Kiriya said enthusiastically. "I'll take any excuse to kill Kuroto."

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, a little more nervously than usual. "And don't get ahead of yourself just yet, perhaps Taiga will find a way out of this!… Somehow…"

Hiiro narrowed his eyes at the screen. "Come on, Hanaya…don't quit now…"

…

Even though he was quivering with rage, Taiga's mind was considering his options with cool detachment. _If I do nothing, the patient will die_ , he thought to himself. _If I attempt to take any action against Revol, his minions will open fire, and that will be the end of me in my current state. So, I can either allow the patient to die… Or I can._ He smiled coldly. _The choice is obvious, really._

He began squeezing his trigger finger. "There's one thing you haven't considered, Revol."

"Oh? And what's that?" Revol asked with a sneer.

Taiga stared him straight in the eye. Despite himself, the Bugster felt a chill go down his spine. "I'm not afraid to die."

His muscles tensed, and he began to swing his arm up to point his gun at Revol. The Bugsters reacted instantly, squeezing their triggers. There was a series of gunshots…

And two dozen of the Bugster soldiers exploded. Taiga, Revol, and the remaining soldiers looked around in confusion. "What? What's going-" Revol began, only for several more gunshots to ring out across the plaza, and suddenly the laser sights on Taiga's chest flickered and vanished, the Bugster snipers fallen from their rooftop and window perches, disintegrating before they could hit the ground. "You! This must be your doing! What have you done?!" Revol demanded angrily.

"Your guess is as good as mine. I'd love to take credit for this, but I can't," said the dumbfounded Taiga.

"Regardless, you're going to die all the same!" Revol shouted, preparing to give the order for Taiga's execution…

Only for a bullet to strike him in the chest, knocking him back. "Gah! Who dares?!"

"I dare!" A feminine voice cried out triumphantly from atop a nearby building. Everyone instinctively looked up, and Taiga used the distraction to eject his Gashat, canceling his transformation so he could grab a new one with a fresh Rider Gauge. He almost dropped the new Gashat, however, when he saw who his unexpected savior was. At first glance, it looked like his level 2 form, but shorter and more feminine, with a lighter blue bodysuit, a red cape instead of yellow, a baseball cap, a backpack, armbands, and a sticker on her right chest mail.

"What?! Who the hell are you?!" Revol demanded.

Taiga's eyes widened in horror. "No… It can't be…"

The interloper struck a pose, holding up a V sign. "Who am I? None other than the Genius Gamer N, Ride Player Nico!"

…

"WHAT?!" Everyone cried in disbelief back at the studio.

"No! Absolutely not! Unacceptable! What is she doing here?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked incredulously.

"Well, this is completely unexpected," Parad commented.

"How… How did she get her own Gashat and Gamer Driver?!" Asked an astonished Emu.

"And wasn't she in America?" Hiiro wondered.

…

"Nico! What are you doing here?!" Taiga demanded.

"Heard there'd been a number of Bugster attacks today, and when there were reports of you flying around the city fighting that bozo, I decided you might need me to bail you out of whatever trouble you got yourself in." She pointed a thumb at herself. "Plus, I thought it would give me a good excuse to test out my new gear. Pretty sweet, don't you think?"

"Where did you even get that?!" Taiga demanded.

Nico snorted. "Duh, I'm the majority shareholder of Genm, remember? Wasn't hard for me to leverage my shares to get myself my own Gamer Driver and Gashats."

"But what are you even doing in the country? I thought you were in America, with… Luke," Taiga asked, struggling not to make a disgusted face.

"Oh, he's in a coma ever since accidentally falling out a window which had nothing to do with him trying to grope me in my sleep for the dozenth time," Nico said cheerfully. "With him in the hospital, and another tournament under my belt, I figured I'd come back home to see how you losers have done without me. And it's a good thing I did, too, because, as always, you're hopeless without me there to watch your back!"

…

"Oh, I guess that answers all of our questions," Kiriya said.

"No! NO! Nonononononononono _no!_ " Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked, crossing his arms in front of him. "I will not allow this! Taiga's nurses bringing him a new Gashat which I didn't approve of was bad enough, but this… This goes beyond the pale! Another Rider interfering with my challenge?! UNACCEPTABLE! That does it, Taiga is disqualified! I declare this round a forfeit! Cheating will not be tolerated!"

"Then doesn't that mean you should disqualify yourself for giving Revol assistance mid-battle?" Emu asked.

"That's-! I thought we agreed to drop that if I ordered pizza!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD spluttered.

Parad shrugged. "The pizza isn't here yet, man."

"… Ugh! Fine!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation. "But this is the last time! No more outside interference from this point forward!"

"Including yourself," Hiiro pointed out.

"… Fine, not even from myself…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grumbled unhappily.

…

"I can't believe this is happening," Taiga murmured, stunned.

"Neither can I. But it doesn't matter! Your girlfriend showing up to help you won't be enough to save you, or stop my plans!" Revol boasted.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Taiga protested.

Nico laughed. "Ha, he _wishes_ he was my boyfriend!"

"I do not!" Taiga insisted. This was a complete and utter lie.

"And sure, maybe I might not be enough to save the day… But whoever said I came alone?" Nico asked cockily.

As if on cue, an explosion wiped out another chunk of Revol's forces. "Oh, what NOW?!" The Bugster yelled in disbelief as a motorcycle launched itself into the air from the top of the steps leading down to the plaza, its rider, a man wearing a doctor's coat over tactical gear, laughing insanely as he fired a submachine gun into the crowd of soldiers as he arced towards them.

…

"Oh, _come on_! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked furiously.

"Who the heck is that guy?" Asked a confused Kiriya.

"I… I don't know. We don't have any other friends that could be Riders, do we?" Said a puzzled Emu.

"Well, he's not actually a Rider. Just a guy who's… Riding a motorcycle," Parad pointed out.

"Which still begs the question: who is he?" Hiiro wondered.

Satsuki and Mizuki stiffened, exchanging glances. "We… Might have an idea."

…

"And who is _that_ supposed to be?!" Revol demanded of Taiga.

"Why do you think I would know? I have absolutely no idea what's going on anymore!" Taiga protested.

The man on the motorcycle hurled a grenade down just before he could hit the ground, blasting away the Viruses that had been in his way and clearing his landing spot. As he skidded to a halt just before Taiga, he chuckled and lifted his helmet's visor. "You don't remember me, Taiga? Come on, man, it hasn't been that long since the last time you saw me!"

Taiga's eyes widened in disbelief. "Jiro?!"

…

"That guy?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said incredulously.

Parad clapped his hands together. "Of course! It's Jiro! It makes perfect sense!" He paused. "Wait, who's Jiro?"

"Jiro was a colleague and friend of Taiga's back when he was just a radiologist, and tried to become a Rider back in the early days of CR alongside him," Hiiro explained. "Unfortunately, his body was incompatible with the Gamer Driver, and the Bugster virus killed him, motivating Taiga to continue on a Rider."

"Oh," Parad said. He blinked. "Wait, wasn't that part of Kiriya's backstory?"

"No, my friend Jungo died in a car accident after learning he had gaming disease. Totally different," Kiriya said.

"Ah. But if he died, what's he doing here?" Parad asked.

"When Kuroto-" Emu started.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Unleashed Zombie Chronicle on the city, Jiro was miraculously revived as a Bugster after Taiga killed one of the Zombie Gamers," Emu explained.

"While Saki is still dead," Hiiro grumbled. "Again."

…

Jiro chuckled. "Yep, it's me. Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"Jiro, what are you doing here?" Taiga demanded in disbelief. "Nico is one thing, but… _You_?"

Jiro pouted. "Don't sound so surprised. What, you don't think I'm capable of fighting? Satsuki and Mizuki aren't the only ones who've been training to help you Riders out! Who says you guys have to have all the fun?"

Taiga spluttered. "Fun?! Jiro, you should know more than anyone that this isn't a game!"

"You use video games to transform to fight monsters from video games," Jiro pointed out.

"… That's beside the point!" Taiga protested, blushing.

"I know, I was just messing with you." Jiro turned serious. "And I know this isn't a game. But even though I'm not a Rider, I'm still a doctor and a part of CR. I'm obligated to help in any way I can, even if it's just a support role." He revved his motorcycle. "Or, in this instance, the cavalry."

"But Jiro, you're human now!" Taiga protested. "If you die out here-"

"Actually, I'm still a Bugster," Jiro informed him.

Taiga blinked. "Still a– – I thought Saotome was going to change you back!"

"She was," Jiro admitted. "And I was looking forward to it… Until I realized that it wasn't fair that I should get my humanity restored when there's still so many other people still trapped in cyberspace. There are certain advantages to being a Bugster, so I decided that, until everyone can be brought back, I would use my current status as a Bugster to help out in whatever way I could. It sure beats being dead, or sitting around back at the office, while everyone else gets to rush out to fight bad guys."

"But Jiro-" Taiga began.

Jiro cut him off. "It's my life, Taiga. I'm well aware of the risks. What kind of friend would I be if I allowed you to risk yourself while I was unwilling to do the same? Remember, BOTH of us applied to become Riders, and even though you became one and I didn't, I see no reason for that to stop me from helping you in the field if I possibly can."

Taiga shook his head, a rueful look on his face. "Jiro, you're a far better friend than I deserve."

"Yeah, I know," Jiro said with a chuckle. "But you need friends like me to remind you that you don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Remember, you aren't alone anymore!"

"Neither am I!" Revol declared, summoning more Bugster soldiers to surround them. Up on the rooftop, Nico heard guns clicking and turned to find half a dozen Viruses were pointing their weapons at her. "This little reunion has been fun, but I think it's time to end this battle!"

"You're right, it is," Jiro said, raising a remote. "Thanks for stationing most of your forces right on top of the remote charges I scattered from my bike when I made my dynamic entry, by the way."

"Wait, what remote charges-" Revol started, only for Jiro to push a button on the remote, causing explosions to rock the plaza as most of the Bugsters were blasted into the air, crying out as the majority of them were disintegrated. "Oh, COME ON!"

"And that's my cue. Ciao!" Nico said cheerfully, giving the soldiers on the roof a mock salute before falling backwards off the side of the building. They leaned over to shoot at her, but she rapid fired her Gashacon Magnum the second they poked their heads over the side, destroying them before any of them could pull off a single shot.

"I've had enough of this! You keep killing off my reinforcements, so it's time I did the same for yours!" Revol snapped, raising his right arm and powering up his turbine to blast Nico. Taiga and Jiro simultaneously raised their handguns and fired at the turbine, their shots getting sucked into the blades, overloading the weapon and causing it to explode, ripping off Revol's right arm. "GAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Nice shooting," Taiga complement to Jiro, impressed.

"Told you I've been training!" Jiro laughed.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Blinded by pain and fury, Revol let loose with everything he had, blasting the two friends with gunshots, missiles, and blasts from his combat Gamer drones. A massive explosion erupted where the Rider and rider were standing…

 **[+] BANG BANG SIMULATIONS! [+]**

" _ **Phase 50!"**_

 **| DUAL CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| DUAL UP! SCRAMBLE, MOVE OUT! BANG BANG SIMULATIONS – TAKE OFF! |**

There was a crack of thunder, and powerful shots volleyed forth from the conflagration, blasting the Gamer drones out of the sky. "What?!" Revol cried in disbelief as the flames dissipated, revealing Taiga had transformed again, and was standing in front of Jiro, his body smoking due to his taking the entirety of the blast head on. His chest had thick haul armor, with his shoulder pauldrons being that of a dual turret cannon. Below them was another dual turret cannon, and forming over his forearms and hands was a ship's bow with two large cannons mounted at the front. His helmet was now fitted with an armored captain's hat, while the neon yellow armor plate that simulated hair was draped over his right eye. He had become Kamen Rider Snipe, Simulation Gamer Level 50!

"You didn't have to shield me like that, you know. I'm a Bugster now, I could have probably taken it," Jiro told Taiga with a smirk.

Taiga glanced over his shoulder. "I know. Just humor me, will you?"

Nico laughed madly as she continued falling. "Don't forget about me, guys! I want to join in, too!" She raised a Gashat. "Game Start!"

 **BANG BANG TANK!**

"Level up!"

 **CLICK AND OPEN!**

 **LEVEL UP!**

 **BA-BANG-BANG! BANG-BA-BANG! YOW! BANG BANG SHOOTING! A GACHA!**

 **CANNONS ROAR! WIN THE WAR! WAY TOO STRONG! BIG BANG BOOM! BANG BANG TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!**

A blue miniature tank emerged from her chest and split up, pieces flying all around Nico and slamming onto her to form armor, a blue explosion bursting in the air with each new part that attached itself to her. Her feet and legs were covered in blue gauntlets and greaves with tank treads on the sides as well as her feet, with small turrets mounted on the side of each. Her chest was covered by blue armor shaped like the front of a tank, with pauldron-mounted turrets covering her shoulders. Her head was now covered in a blue helmet resembling that of a tank commander, with another turret mounted on top and her hat still visible underneath it. Her backpack had transformed into a much larger turret, sticking up in the air behind her head. There were more stickers covering her armor in this form, undercutting her intimidating factor somewhat, not that she cared.

She hit the ground in a three-point landing hard enough to crater it and slowly rose to her feet, striking a menacing pose. "Transcendent! Strongest! Genius! Kamen Rider...Snipe Nico Tank Gamer Level 4 arrives! Kneel before my awesomeness, yo!"

…

"Strangely, I find it more endearing when she does it then when Kuroto-" Kiriya observed.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Does," Kiriya finished.

"So, Kuroto-" Parad began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Does seeing Nico with a form you never authorized make you even angrier?" The Bugster teased.

"Actually, I created Bang Bang Tank years ago, so while I _am_ upset, it's not nearly as much as it was when I found out Hiiro had a new game commissioned for the Taddle series." Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrugged. "Also, things have spiraled so far out of control at this point, getting angry feels almost counterproductive."

"Not like that's ever stopped you before," Emu pointed out.

"Oh, shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD growled.

…

"Wait, you can transform using Bang Bang Tank?" Taiga asked in surprise.

"Well, yeah. You never tried?" Nico asked incredulously.

"… It, uh, never occurred to me," Taiga confessed. Nico and Jiro both rolled their eyes.

"I don't care WHAT forms you take! You're still going down!" Revol snarled, summoning more reinforcements.

"More of these guys? You realize we're going to wipe the floor with them, right?" Jiro sneered.

"Yes, but can you do it before I complete my tactical retreat and my host dies?" Revol taunted, turning and running away.

"Hey, get back here!" Jiro cried, gunning his engine and driving after the Bugster, plowing through any soldiers that got in his way.

"Jiro, wait!" Taiga protested, only for his words to go unheard. "Nico, we have to go after him!"

"Good thing I've got just the thing for that," Nico remarked, pressing a lever on her Driver.

 **BANG BANG TANKSFORMATION!**

Her blue armor parts glowed, and she crouched down, a "TSCHE-CHU-CHU-CHU-TSCHE" sound filling the air, as, somehow, Nico transformed into a tank. It bore little resemblance to any actual existing tank, given the blue hue and numerous turrets, as well as being much smaller than a real tank, but it was still, inarguably, a tank.

Taiga stared blankly. "…"

…

He wasn't the only one who stared. "So, um, is she supposed to be able to-" Emu asked slowly.

"I certainly never envisioned Bang Bang Tank being able to do that," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD admitted, dumbfounded.

"Is transforming into an honest to Gaim tank a bit of a stretch, even for us?" Kiriya wondered.

"Can't you turn into a motorcycle?" Parad pointed out.

Kiriya considered this. "Good point."

…

The hatch on top of the tank popped open. "Come on, get in!" Nico's voice called from the vehicle. Not _inside_ the vehicle, the vehicle itself.

Taiga shrugged in resignation. "I guess this is my life now," he murmured to himself, leaping into the air and landing in the hatch.

The tank laughed malevolently. "Hold on up there, this is gonna get wild!" The tank's treads began spinning, churning up the ground as the vehicle surged forwards, driving into the soldier Viruses and flattening over a dozen as it ran over them, the soldiers fleeing in terror as the tank's turrets opened fire, Taiga launching additional volleys from the cannons on his body, explosions blossoming across the plaza as the two Riders unleashed hell upon the hapless Bugsters.

Meanwhile, Jiro was pursuing Revol through the streets of the city, but the evolved Bugster was nowhere to be found. "Dammit! Where did he-" the doctor began, only for Revol to suddenly surge out of an alley he was passing by, clotheslining him and knocking him off the bike.

Revol stomped on Jiro's chest before he could recover, pointing the guns on his remaining arm at his face. "You shouldn't have gotten involved, human. Let's see how you like dying a second time. I'm sure your death will go a long way towards breaking Taiga!"

Despite the heavy weaponry pointing at his face, Jiro laughed. "Taiga is far harder to break than you might think. And so am I! You might want to look down."

"I _am_ looking down, into your ugly face," Revol sneered.

"Not far enough," Jiro said, sticking his gun into Revol's groin. The Bugster froze. Jiro gave him a shit-eating grin. "Bang."

He pulled the trigger.

Revol staggered off of Jiro, howling in agony and clutching his crotch. "I don't even _have_ anything down there! Why did that _hurt_ so much?!"

…

Everyone looked at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "What?" He asked testily.

"Why _did_ that hurt him?" Emu wondered.

"Yeah, how come I have stuff down there, but he doesn't?" Parado questioned.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD facepalmed. "Really? Is this _really_ something you want to know _that_ badly?"

They considered this for a moment. Slowly, Kiriya started to raise his hand. "PUT YOUR HAND DOWN, KIRIYA!" Slowly, Kiriya lowered his hand.

"A better question might be, does _Poppy_ -" Satsuki began.

" _CAN WE PLEASE GET OFF THIS TOPIC ALREADY_?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD screamed.

…

As Revol reeled, Jiro charged in, launching a flurry of blows at the Bugster's chest. Irritated, Revol backhanded the doctor away. "Imbecile! Was I supposed to feel that?"

Jiro grinned and held up the remote control from before. "No, but this will." He pressed the button.

"What the-" Revol glanced down and saw that his chest was now covered in blinking remote detonators. "… Son of a-"

The bombs detonated, sending him staggering into the street, and right into the path of Nico's tank form, which ran over him. "What was that?!" Taiga cried in alarm as the vehicle lurched, popping his head out of the main turret.

The tank halted in its tracks and somehow managed to pull off an air of horror and dismay despite being a large, featureless vehicle. "Oh, shit… Oh shit oh shit oh shit! I think I just ran over a guy!" Nico squealed, her metal hull rattling in alarm.

"You what?!" Taiga cried in disbelief. "Weren't you looking where you were going?!"

"He came out of nowhere! And I thought you were supposed to be on lookout up there!" Nico cried shrilly. "Fuck Fuckfuckfuckfuck! I'm a murderer!"

"Nico, calm down-" Taiga started.

Nico started thrashing about wildly, her turrets swiveling all over the place and looking like they were dangerously close to discharging. "Oh God, I'm going to go to prison! I can't go to prison, Taiga! I'm too young and pretty! _Do you know what they'd do to someone like me?!"_

"Look, we can still get out of this," Taiga said quickly. "First of all, you need to stop screaming about killing someone, you're drawing attention to yourself!"

" _I'M A TANK, TAIGA! IF PEOPLE AREN'T PAYING ATTENTION TO ME, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THEM!"_ She shrieked.

"Look, here's what we have to do," Taiga said. "First, we have to get the body inside you-"

"WHAT?! I'm not going to let some gross dead thing inside of me!" she protested.

"You are if you want to stay out of prison," Taiga said firmly. "Once he's inside where nobody can see him, we take him back to my clinic, where we hide him in my freezer for a few days until the heat dies down, then we cut him into pieces and discreetly distribute them to zoos, restaurants, and butchers all over the city that don't ask questions -"

"You sound like you've done this before," Nico interrupted, startled. "… Holy Fuck, HAVE you done this before?!"

"I was a back alley Doctor for over five years, Nico! _I had to do what was necessary to survive!"_

Revol moaned and staggered to his feet. "… Did I just get run over by a _tank_?!"

"Oh, never mind. False alarm, it was just Revol," Taiga said in relief.

Nico sighed audibly, and the tank seemed to sag in relief. "Oh, thank God, I was worried I'd be stuck playing crummy games on obsolete consoles from behind bars for the rest of my life."

"Hey guys, there you are," Jiro said, jogging up to them. "What took you so long?"

"Tanks aren't very fast," Taiga said with a shrug.

"That better not be a crack about my weight!" Nico yelled.

"You… You blasted Riders…" Revol snarled. "So sick and tired of you… Always getting in the way!" Roaring in fury, he started chaotically firing all of his remaining weapons in every direction, causing explosions to erupt all around the street and surrounding buildings, whatever civilians remained fleeing for their lives.

"Okay, I think it's time we end this war," Taiga said as he hopped out of the tank. "This has gone on for long enough!"

"Sounds good to me," Nico said, reverting back to her Rider form. "I'm getting sick of this bozo."

June nodded fiercely. "Let's show him what happens to anyone stupid enough to go up against Team Snipe!"

The other two glanced at him. "… Team Snipe?" Taiga asked.

"Well, yeah. Since both of you are Snipes, and I'm… Well, I would like to consider myself an ally of justice just like you, or at least a guy who's good with ranged weaponry, which I'm sure would be a criteria for being considered a Snipe, and I'm sort of hoping that I can keep helping you out in the future, so…" Jiro said with an awkward shrug.

"… You know, I actually kind of like it," Taiga said slowly. "Team Snipe… Yeah! Why not! My best friend and my sidekick-"

"I'm sorry, your what now?" Nico asked sharply.

"Working together under the same banner to save lives using copious amounts of firepower! We're Team Snipe!" Taiga declared.

"You'd better be insinuating that I'm your best friend, because Nico Saiba is no fool's sidekick!" Nico said angrily.

"Let's end this!" Taiga said, ignoring Nico and pulling the lever on his Driver.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ BANG BANG CRITICAL FIRE! }!{**

"We're finishing this sidekick talk later!" Nico promised, also pulling a lever on her Driver.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ BANG BANG CRITICAL SHELL! }!{**

"Click to open! Finishing move! Bang Bang Critical Bazooka!" Jiro declared, hoisting a bazooka onto his shoulder. The other two stared at him. "What? I wanted a finishing move, too!"

"Where were you even keeping that?" Nico wondered.

"Oh come on, this is no less ridiculous then the sorts of things you Riders pull out of thin air all the time!" Jiro claimed.

"We're able to materialize our weapons from our Drivers. What's your excuse?" Taiga asked.

"RIIIIIIIIIIIDERS!" Revol shouted, charging towards them.

"Let's table this discussion until later," Jiro suggested.

"Good idea," Taiga said, his numerous cannons charging up. "Open fire!"

All of Taiga's cannons fired simultaneously, several powerful bullets streaking towards Revol in a bright blue flash. At the same time, Nico slammed her arms together, her gauntlets fusing together into an enormous cannon which fired an incredibly powerful blast at the Bugster, the recoil so powerful it pushed her back a few feet, while Jiro fired a rocket from his bazooka. As the various missiles shot towards Revol, the livid Bugster screamed, "Curse you… _**CURSE YOU, TEAM SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPE!"**_

The projectiles hit home, obliterating Revol in a fiery conflagration.

 **PERFECT!**

…

Back at the office, Koichi stopped fading out and resumed his solidity. "I'm… I'm alive?" He patted himself in disbelief, his eyes widening with wonder. "I'm… I'm alive. I'm alive! I'M ALIVE!" He burst into joyous laughter while around him, his coworkers groaned in disappointment. Some grumbled and fished out money from their wallets to pay to their smirking peers.

"Kuza! You're still alive, I see!" Koichi's boss, Mister Yamashiro, observed, peering into Koichi's cubicle.

"Yes sir, Mister Yamashiro!" Koichi said excitedly. "I can hardly believe it myself! It's a miracle!" He smiled for what was probably the first time in in months, if not years. "This has been a life-changing experience… For the first time in ages, I feel hope again! I'm going to turn my life around, I'm going to do everything differently, be a better man, follow my dreams, find success and happiness-"

"Capital!" Mister Yamashiro said happily. "And to make it easier for you to do that, you're fired."

Kochi froze. "… I'm sorry, what?"

"You're fired. I was going to do it today anyway, but then that pesky Bugster had to pop up and I thought you were going to die before I got the chance. Thank goodness that Kamen Rider saved your life before that could happen!" He jovially clapped a hand on to Koichi's shoulder. "And now you are free to pursue a new beginning… Far away from here, because you're never too set foot in this building again. Don't bother packing up your things, I want you out of here in five minutes or else security will forcibly escort you from the building."

"But… But…" Koichi stammered, face going pale with horror.

Mister Yamashiro patted Koichi on the head. "Good luck on your fresh start, Kuza! We're all rooting for you!"

"No, we're not!" One of the other employees shouted.

Mister Yamashiro ignored him. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a yacht to purchase-"

Koichi, his head down and his hair covering his face, muttered something. "Hmm? I'm sorry, I couldn't hear that. Could you speak up, please?" Yamashiro asked kindly.

Trembling, Koichi raised his head… And to everyone's horror, revealed that purple cracks were forming across his face. "I said… _Now, there is only despair!"_

…

High off of his victory and unaware that the man whose life he had just saved was about to turn into a Phantom and murder his boss and coworkers, Taiga materialized back on the stage, where he found that everyone was eating pizza. "Hey, where did that come from?" He asked in surprise.

"Kuroto-" Kiriya started.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"Ordered the pizza to celebrate your victory over Revol," Kiriya completed.

"Really? Wow, that must've gotten here really fast. We just defeated him a minute ago!" Nico whistled, impressed, startling Taiga.

"Yes… Far too fast…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grumbled, counting out yen to hand over to the waiting Charlie Bugster, wearing a pizza delivery boy's uniform. "How did you even get a job delivering pizza?!"

Charlie shrugged as he accepted the money. "I'm so good at delivering pizzas ahead of schedule that they haven't had to give out free pizzas ever since I got hired."

"But you're a Bugster! Why would they hire you?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD demanded, frustrated how much cash he was being forced to shell out since everyone else had refused to chip in.

"It's a very progressive workplace. One of the chefs is a Fangire, and there's an Orphnoch waiting tables, one of the cashiers is a Ganma, and I'm pretty sure the manager is a Worm," Charlie said.

"Why did you decide to get a job delivering pizza, anyway?" Parad asked, enjoying his slice.

Charlie shrugged. "Sports bike parts and mods aren't cheap. It pays well, and I get _really_ good tips."

"Here. Take your money and get out," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snarled, shoving the money into Charlie's hand.

Charlie tipped the baseball cap he was wearing. "Thank you kindly. I don't suppose I could bother you for a tip…?"

"Here's one. Stay the hell away from me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snarled.

Charlie scoffed. "Rude much?"

"Don't worry, Charlie, we'll give your restaurant a good review online and make sure to ask for you in the future," Emu promised the Bugster.

"Thank you very much, Doctor Houjou!" Charlie said, delighted. He glanced at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Now why can't you be as nice a customer as him?"

"OUT!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD screamed.

"Fine, fine, I can take a hint," Charlie grunted, walking off the stage.

"Nico, what are you doing here?" Taiga demanded, not having paid attention to the exchange. "I thought I told you to stay behind with Jiro to help the paramedics treat everyone who got injured during Revol's rampage!"

Nico raised an eyebrow. "And you expected me to listen to you because…?"

"… Dammit, Nico," Taiga groaned.

"Nico!" Parad said, holding up a sizable pizza. "Good to see you again!"

"Wasn't sure you'd ever come back. Figured you and Luke would get married over in the states or something," Kiriya joked.

Nico made a face. "Ugh, don't even joke about that! The only reason I agreed to go to America with that guy was because I was scared he would die of gaming sickness or something. I'm perfectly happy to be right back where I belong, on Japanese soil." She scowled at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "I'm less happy to see that this guy is alive. Again."

"The feeling is mutual," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grumbled. "You were not invited to join these proceedings, Saiba. I suggest you leave. Now."

Taiga shook his head in amusement. "That was the wrong thing to say, Kuroto."

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

Nico smirked. "Well, now I'm DEFINITELY staying." She turned to the other Riders. "What exactly is happening, anyway?"

"Emu asked Poppy out on a date, causing Kuroto-" Hiiro began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"To suddenly appear and challenge Emu to a quiz game to prove he's worthy of her hand," Hiiro finished.

Nico shot Emu an incredulous look. "Okay, first off, congrats on finally manning up and asking Poppy out. But… Seriously? You went along with something as dumb as this instead of punching his face in?"

"It's not dumb!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted. Everyone ignored him.

"He threatened to unleash a new epidemic on the city if we didn't play along," Emu said resignedly.

"Whenever Emu gets a question right, he advances. Whenever he gets a question wrong, a modified Bugster appears somewhere in the city, and one of the Riders must go out to fight it," Satsuki explained.

"Oh, so that's why Revol looked different," Nico mused. She paused. "…Hiiro, why are your nurses dressed like a martial arts fighter and a ninja?"

"Because we ARE a martial arts fighter and a ninja," Mizuki spoke up.

"…Niiiiiiiiiiiiice," Nico said, impressed. "Okay, one other question… Can I have some of that pizza?"

"Sure, you can share Taiga's," Kiriya said cheerfully.

"What? I didn't agree to that!" Taiga protested. "And… Wait, did you get mushrooms? You _know_ I'm allergic!"

"Oops. Must've slipped my mind," Kiriya said with a shit-eating grin.

Taiga glared at the examiner. "I hate you so much."

"You aren't the only one," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD growled, picking up a slice of pizza to take a bite out of it… Only to smear it across his glass helmet. "… I did not think this through," he muttered in embarrassment as everyone started laughing.

Emu glanced at the slice he was holding, which already had some bites taken out of it, struck by a sudden thought. "Wait a minute, how have I been eating this? My mask doesn't have a mouth."

"Don't think about it," Parad suggested. "It's better that way."

"So," Nico said through a mouthful of pizza. "What exactly do the rest of us do when not fighting Bugsters?"

"Help Emu come up with the right answer for the question," Taiga explained. "Also, don't talk with your mouth full, it's disgusting."

"We also have a lot of fun mocking Kuroto-" Kiriya began.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

Nico swallowed a pizza and grinned. "Nice! I think I'm going to fit right in, then. Oy, creepy guy-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"Yeah, I'm not calling you that. Make with the next question already!" Nico said dismissively.

"I don't take orders from you!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. "… It is time for the next question, though. Which is why it's time for us to begin the lightning round. Or rather…"

He pressed a button on his podium, and the screen changed to a display of an eagle perched atop the globe. "The _Shocker_ round!" He waited for a moment. Nobody said anything. "The _Shocker_ round!" he repeated. "You know, because it's a reference to-"

"We get the joke, we just don't think it's funny," Taiga said bluntly.

"I don't get the joke. What's he talking about?" Asked a confused Nico.

"You've never heard of Shocker?" Emu asked in surprise. "The preeminent evil organization among Kamen Riders, creators and arch enemies of the legendary first Rider, led by the undying Great Leader and returning to threaten the world time and time again, no matter how many times they're beaten down?"

"… No…?" Nico said awkwardly.

"What the… They showed up during the whole Cho Super Hero Taisen thing! How did you miss that?!" Asked an incredulous Taiga.

"I think I was at a gaming tournament or something," Nico said vaguely.

Kiriya snorted good-naturedly. "Kids these days."

"How disrespectful!" Satsuki said with a sniff. "As a Rider, you should have more knowledge of your own history!" Everyone looked her, and she blushed. "I-I apologize for speaking out of turn. I'm a bit of a fan of the classics."

Mizuki nodded wearily. "She really is. She's got boxed sets of the adventures of every Showa Rider, and is working her way through the more recent Heisei and Neo-Heisei Riders as well. There's almost no room in our apartment for us what with all the memorabilia and merchandise she's collected over the years."

"S-so, I'm a Kamen Rider otaku, what of it?" Satsuki snapped defensively.

Parad chuckled. "Hey, if you think that's bad, you should see Emu's place."

"It's not that bad," Emu protested.

"You didn't even have a bed to sleep on when I moved in because you're using it to store more of your gaming paraphernalia!" Parad pointed out.

"I didn't see you complaining when you got chance to use it!" Emu retorted.

"Oh, I wasn't complaining. Just making a point," Parad said.

"Wait, people recorded the adventures of previous Riders? What, was someone following them around with cameras, or are they dramatizations?" Asked a confused Taiga.

"A much better question would be: did someone make recordings of OUR adventures, and if so, should we be getting royalty checks?" Kiriya wondered.

"During the Shocker round, all questions shall pertain to Shocker and other older evil organizations," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared, getting tired of everyone ignoring him. "And to fit the setting, I shall no longer be your quizmaster, but…" He ducked beneath his podium, coming back up a second later, his robes now a bright red, while he struggled to pull a similarly-colored pointed hood over his head, only to be impeded by the glass jar encasing it. "Your Great…unf! Your Great… Oh, come on… _Your Great_ … " With a ripping sound, he managed to finally pull the hood on, but it was practically torn in half, the remaining seams looked like they were going to pop at a moment's notice, and the two tiny eyeholes didn't even remotely lineup with his actual eyes. "… Clearly I did not think this through," he muttered in embarrassment as everyone started laughing at him. "Ahem! Enough with your frivolity! For the duration of the Shocker round, I shall no longer be your quizmaster, but your Great Leader, and shall be addressed as Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!"

That just got them to laugh even harder. "Yeah, we are not calling you that," Kiriya said.

"Why does he look like a badly-dressed member of the KKK?!" Nico demanded between chortles.

"Because that's what the Great Leader traditionally wore, back in the day," Satsuki explained, wiping away tears.

"What, did bad guys back then have zero fashion sense?" Nico asked in disbelief.

"… Actually…" Satsuki admitted.

"Such insolence!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD seethed. "Let's see if you're still laughing after this question!"

 **What is Shocker an acronym for?**

 **A. Sacred Hegemony Of Cycle Kindred Evolutionary Realm.**

 **B. Supreme Hierarchy Of Conquerors, Killers, and Evil Rulers.**

 **C. Super Hyper Organization to Crush and Kill Earth to Rubble.**

 **D. Sinister Hive Organized for Controlling and Killing the Earth and its Residents.**

 **E. Secret Home Of Creator Kings and Enemies of Riders**

 **F. Nothing, it's not an acronym.**

…

 **Wow, that chapter took longer than expected. Sorry for the delay and length (though I'm sure some of my fans know to expect it from me by now), but hey, at least we had a good fight, and now Nico is part of the cast, right? And hey, who expected Jiro to show up? (I certainly didn't forget he existed for the longest time…)**

 **Prepare to stretch your brains a bit more, as we delve further into the history of Kamen Rider for these next few questions. Are you ready?**


	11. Question 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Okay, there's no way any of those acronyms are real. It's gotta be F," Parad said, making a face.

Taiga nodded. "Yeah, they all sound like someone was trying too hard to think of something that would spell out 'Shocker.' They're all clearly backronyms."

"Backro-what?" Nico asked.

"A constructed phrase purporting to be the source of the word that is an acronym," Mizuki explained.

Nico considered this. "Oh, like how SHIELD is supposed to spell Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division?"

Mizuki nodded. "Or like how Amber Alert is apparently supposed to stand for America's Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response, even though it originally referred to a girl named Amber who was kidnapped and murdered in Texas in the late nineties."

"Really? I did not know that," Parad commented.

"Why do you know that? We aren't Americans," Kiriya questioned.

Mizuki shrugged. "I wiki walk for fun."

"In addition, I don't believe it is grammatically correct to use 'of' as part of an acronym," Hiiro agreed.

"I dunno, I'm pretty sure there's lots of bizarre acronyms out there," Kiriya pointed out. "Like, Ixa stands for 'Intercept X Attacker.' And that's not even one of the more awkward ones out there, especially made up by us Japanese."

"Yeah, we come up with some pretty weird stuff. Just look at our anime and some of our weirder games," Nico agreed.

"So, we all think it's F?" Emu asked.

"Actually…" Satsuki spoke up.

Everyone glanced at her. "You believe otherwise, Satsuki?" Hiiro asked.

She nodded, flushing. "H-Hai, Hiiro-sama. My research-"

"By which she means obsessive binging," Mizuki muttered.

Satsuki shot a glare at her. "My _research_ would seem to indicate that while Shocker has existed for years, there has been no indication it has ever stood for anything… _Except_ in _Kamen Rider the First,_ a movie reenactment of the beginning of the first Rider's career, where it was claimed that Shocker was indeed an acronym that stood for Sacred Hegemony Of Cycle Kindred Evolutionary Realm."

"… What does that even _mean_?!" Asked an incredulous Nico.

"Did they just pick words out of a hat or something?" Asked a dumbfounded Parad.

"Like I said. Backronym," Taiga said wisely.

"Is there indication as to whether or not that's authentic?" Hiiro demanded.

Satsuki hesitated. "I… No, I can't confirm it with any degree of veracity. In all the decades Shocker has been active, this is the only time where it's ever been suggested their name might be an acronym for something else. As such, there are many who believe it to be just embellishment by the filmmakers. However…"

"However?" Hiiro prompted.

"Several former Shocker combatmen and kaijin were interviewed to help make the movie, along with the great Takeshi Hongo himself. While the events depicted in the movie aren't _exactly_ how it happened in reality, they wouldn't have been able to release it if Hongo weren't satisfied with the completed production. In addition, while Shocker launched a number of terror attacks on theaters showing the movie and spoke out publicly against it, nowhere on their lengthy list of grievances was there any mention of them having a problem with their organization's name being an acronym," Satsuki explained.

"Maybe something that small and insignificant didn't bother them that much?" Taiga suggested.

Kiriya shook his head. "Nah, branding is everything for an evil organization. I think I remember hearing about their complaints about the film, and while they were screaming about how their logo was inaccurate and the costumes for the combatmen were all wrong, Satsuki is right, they didn't say anything about their name being incorrect."

Satsuki nodded in agreement. "Which is why there are many who believe the acronym is genuine, myself included."

"Then you believe the answer is A, not F?" Hiiro inquired.

Satsuki hesitated. "I… I wouldn't stake my life on it, Hiiro-sama, but… Yes, I think it's the right answer."

Emu glanced at his friends. "What do you guys think?"

"I dunno… Seems like a bit of a stretch," Parad said doubtfully.

"And if it's the wrong answer, it's back-to-back Bugsters," Taiga groaned.

"What, too tired to go another round, Taiga?" Nico cheered. "Guess I'll just have to go in your place, old man."

"You will do no such thing!… And I'm not old!" Taiga said indignantly.

"Hiiro, she's your nurse. What do you think?" Kiriya asked.

Hiiro regarded Satsuki for a moment. She swallowed nervously and grabbed Mizuki's hand for comfort. After a moment, Hiiro nodded and turned to Emu. "The answer is A. If Satsuki believes it to be correct, that's good enough for me. She would never bother telling me something that she doubted was the unvarnished truth." Satsuki smiled gratefully.

Emu nodded. "All right, then. A it is."

"Are you sure?" Parad asked in concern. "Kind of taking a big risk here."

"No more than with every other question we've had to answer," Emu replied. "Kuroto!"

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"The answer is A!" Emu declared.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage.

"Looks like you were right, Satsuki," Taiga said in relief.

"I never doubted it for a moment," Hiiro commented without looking at his subordinate. She shot him a look of naked adoration.

"Although, if I'm being completely honest, I would've accepted F as well, since I'm not actually sure myself whether or not that's what Shocker really means," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD admitted, much to everyone's disbelief.

"What, you never asked them?" Kiriya questioned.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snorted. "Please, as if I would ever associate myself with a group as outdated and obsolete as Shocker!… Also they never returned my calls regarding a possible teamup."

The heroes snickered a little at that. "Loser," Nico jeered.

"Who would've thought Shocker had good taste in who they associate with?" Kiriya quipped.

"Shut up," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped. "Anyway, speaking of acronyms…"

 **Which of the following is** _ **not**_ **what the name of an organization stands for?**

 **A. Government Of Darkness (GOD)**

 **B** **. Board of Archaeological Research Department (BOARD)**

 **C. Over Space Technology Organization Legacy (OSTO Legacy)**

 **D. Zero Extraterrestrial Creatures Terminators (ZECT)**

…

 **You'd think with a history of evil organizations as long as Kamen Rider, there'd be a lot more groups with crazy acronyms. So, can any of you guess which of these is the correct answer?**


	12. Question 11

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Okay, he's gotta be making some of those up," said an incredulous Nico. "There's no way all those are real things."

"Actually, I believe they are," Hiiro said.

"Really? Even GOD and BOARD?" Asked a disbelieving Parad.

Satsuki nodded. "GOD was an evil organization dismantled by Kamen Rider X. They were a secret society in which opposing countries secretly joined hands to try and conquer the world using cyborg kaijin."

"BOARD was an organization that developed the technology to allow Kamen Rider Blade and his colleagues to fight the Undead," Kiriya recalled.

"… Kazuma…" Emu murmured to himself, flashing back to the Gorider adventure. "I wonder what he's doing now?"

"Probably still wandering the Earth to avoid running into his old friend Hajime and getting drawn into a duel that will destroy the world, regardless of the outcome," Kiriya speculated.

"Whoa, wait a minute! There's an archaeological organization that fights zombies?!" Nico said incredulously. "How did I not know about this before now?"

"Not zombies. Undead," Hiiro corrected her.

"… Yeah, that's exactly what zombies are. Undead," Nico pointed out, confused.

"Capital-U Undead, not regular undead," Kiriya explained. "They aren't zombies, but a race of completely immortal monsters supposedly created by God 10,000 years ago, each of them representing a different kind of animal and corresponding to a card in the standard deck. Every few millennia they get released from their seal and battle to decide which species will have dominance over the Earth. Given we're still around, it's obvious who won the last time."

"In 2004, someone accidentally released the Undead before their time, and BOARD was able to use captured Undead to devise technology that could be used to combat and seal them away before they could wipe out humanity," Taiga recalled.

"BOARD doesn't sound so bad, then," Parad said. "What are they doing on a list of evil organizations?"

"Their leader was secretly evil and trying to take advantage of the Undead to take over the world," Emu said.

"Oh," Parad said.

Nico snorted. "Figures. And the other two?"

"ZECT was an organization dedicated to fighting a race of invading aliens called the Worm which arrived during the Shibuya meteorite impact and created gear to combat them, which was eventually appropriated by Kamen Rider Kabuto," Hiiro said.

"Okay… And that's bad because…?" Nico asked.

"Because they were secretly being controlled by another faction of Worm which arrived in the seventies, some of which believed that the only way peace between our species could be possible would be to turn all of humanity into Worm," Kiriya spoke up.

"Of course," Parad deadpanned.

"Wait, they were going to turn us into worms?!" Shrieked a disgusted Nico.

"Not worms, Worm. They're a race of insectoids," Taiga explained.

"Oh," said Nico. "I'm not sure that's much better."

"And OSTO Legacy?" Emu asked.

"Supposedly the successors to the original OSTO, a space technology organization, but were actually a front used by the evil robot Space Ironmen so they could get into space and seize control of the satellite weapon XVII to wipe out humanity," Taiga said.

"Starting to see a pattern here…" Nico murmured.

"Wait, Iron Man tried to destroy the world?" asked a confused Parad.

"Not Iron Man, the Space Ironmen. They were a couple of robots built by the Alicia Federation to protect the Earth, but they went rogue and tried to wipe out mankind instead," Mizuki explained.

"Oh," Parad said.

"Gotta wonder why people keep building robots if so many of them inevitably try to wipe out mankind," Nico complained.

"One school of thought is that we actually WANT them to take over the world so that we won't have to run it ourselves," Kiriya commented.

"… Wow, talk about lazy," Taiga muttered.

"Okay, so they're all real, but which of those acronyms is fake?" Parad wondered.

"Yeah, and does that mean that the GOD in Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD actually stands for Government Of Darkness?" Nico joked.

"That's Great Leader… Oh, you got my name right," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said in surprise. "And no, the GOD doesn't stand for Government Of Darkness. That would be silly."

"Right. Because _that's_ the silly part of your name," Taiga said sarcastically. Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD glowered at him.

"Satsuki?" Hiiro asked.

"The answer is ZECT," the martial artist nurse said instantly.

"You're sure?" Emu asked.

She nodded. "Everyone knows that GOD stands for Government Of Darkness, BOARD stands for Board Of Archaeological Research Development-"

"I didn't," Nico complained.

"Isn't that redundant, though? An organization called BOARD being a… Well, Board?" Parad wondered.

"Backronyms," Taiga said with a shrug. "What are you gonna do?"

"Shouldn't it be called the Board Of Archaeological Research _And_ Development?" Emu wondered.

"No, then it would spell BOARAD, and that's just silly," Kiriya said cheekily.

"And OSTO Legacy just stands for the same thing as the original OSTO, sans the 'Legacy' part," Satsuki concluded, shooting her interrupters an annoyed look. "However, as far as I know, ZECT doesn't stand for anything. It just… Is."

Hiiro nodded. "I suspected as much, thank you. Emu, I believe we have our answer."

"Okay. Kuroto-" Emu began.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"The answer is D!" Emu declared.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "And I am starting to regret ever allowing Hiiro to bring his nurses back with him, even if they did bear delicious cake."

"Too late for that now," Parad jeered.

"… We shall see…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said ominously.

"Wait, you guys had cake?!" Nico cried incredulously.

"We did," Hiiro confirmed.

"If you showed up earlier, you might've been able to have some," Kiriya told her.

Nico pouted. "Aww, man."

"Nico, stop whining and have another slice of pizza," an annoyed Taiga told her.

"You're not my dad," she grumbled, taking another slice of pizza and biting into it with a sour look on her face.

"Be grateful you can at least _eat_ the pizza," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD groused.

"Wait a minute, didn't you have some of the cake earlier?" Parad suddenly recalled. "How did you do that with that glass in the way-"

"In any event, here's the next question," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, quickly changing the subject.

 **Over the years, the Great Leader has assumed many forms and taken many names. Which of the following is** _ **not**_ **one of his confirmed or suspected alter egos?**

 **A. Ruler of the Garanda Empire.**

 **B. Generalissimo of Badan.**

 **C. Emperor Crisis of the Crisis Empire.**

 **D. One of the Wirepullers of Smart Brain.**

…

… **Yeah, got nothing to say here. Please vote!**


	13. Question 12

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"So… All those are real, right?" Nico asked, beginning to feel self-conscious about just how little she knew of her own heritage as a Rider.

Satsuki nodded. "They are. The Garanda Empire was a terrorist organization whose leader claimed to be descended from the ruling dynasty of the Parthian Empire-"

"The who?" Taiga interrupted.

"A major Iranian political and cultural power in ancient in Iran and Iraq from 247 BC to 224 AD," Mizuki spoke up. Everyone looked her. "I wiki walk, remember?"

"They sought to claim a pair of magical armlets created by the Incans, which, when combined together, would allow the user to rule the world with Incan super science," Satsuki continued. "They were eventually destroyed by Kamen Rider Amazon."

Nico whistled. "She must've been pretty strong!"

"He," Hiiro corrected her.

"Huh?"

"Amazon is a man," Hiiro explained.

Nico frowned in confusion. "What? Then why is he called Amazon?"

"He's named after the rain forest, not the tribe of mythical warrior women," Taiga explained.

"Oh," said Nico.

"Wait, I thought Amazon fought man eating monsters created by an evil pharmaceutical Corporation," said a confused Parad.

Nico snickered. "That's redundant. Pharmaceutical corporations are by their nature evil."

"That's not necessarily true," Emu argued. "After all, without pharmaceutical corporations, we wouldn't have the medicine we need to treat patients."

"No, I think Nico is onto something here. I mean, the prices they demand for their drugs are ridiculous! And don't even get me started on how they test them! No way they aren't evil," Kiriya asserted.

"The Amazon you're thinking of has no relation whatsoever to the original," Hiiro explained.

"And Amazon is okay with this new guy running around with his name?" Parad asked skeptically. "I'm pretty sure that's a big case of copyright infringement."

"The original Amazon comes from the rain forest. I don't think he knows what copyright law is," Kiriya said with a shrug.

"The Badan Empire was a kingdom of the dead, operating from a city in the center of the earth that attempted to turn the world inside out to swap the living with the dead," Hiiro recalled.

"They first surfaced decades ago, but went into hiding after their apparent leader, Ambassador Darkness, was killed by Kamen Rider ZX and the first nine Riders," Satsuki added.

"You could almost say they went… Underground," Kiriya joked. Everyone groaned at the atrocious pun.

"The Crisis Empire was an alien civilization that attempted to invade our planet because their own world was being sucked into a black hole and they needed a new place to call home," Satsuki continued.

"What, they couldn't find some other planet?" Parad asked. "One that wasn't already occupied?"

"Considering how many times the Earth has been invaded over the last half a century or so, one would have to assume habitable worlds are hard to come by," Hiiro suggested.

Emu nodded. "Space is a very big place, and most of it is empty…though you wouldn't think it, considering how many alien lifeforms have visited or tried to destroy us."

"The Empire was eventually defeated by Kamen Rider Black RX," Taiga recalled.

Nico frowned and counted off. "That's… Three empires. Just how many empires have been defeated by Riders, anyway?"

"I think that's all of them," Kiriya said.

Hiiro nodded. "Empire-crushing has always been more of a Super Sentai thing, anyway. I believe they've destroyed around a dozen."

"And if I remember correctly, Smart Brain was an evil corporation which was actually a front for a race of monsters called Orphnoch who wanted to wipe out humanity and increase their own population," Emu recalled. "They were beaten by Kamen Rider Faiz."

"Any connection to the game we're playing now, Quiz Brain?" Parad half joked.

"No, that would require Kuroto-" Kiriya started.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"To actually be smart," Kiriya finished.

"HOW DARE YOU!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD Shrieked as everyone started snickering.

"Okay, so which of those leaders wasn't an incarnation of Great Leader?" Nico asked.

Everyone immediately looked to Satsuki. "The Ruler of the Garanda Empire," she said decisively. "The Generalissimo of Badan is a confirmed alter ego of Great Leader, and people have speculated for years that Emperor Crisis and one of the Wirepullers of Smart Brain were also incarnations of the Great Leader. The Ruler, however – – or Emperor Zero, as he's actually known by – – has no connection to him whatsoever, although in his Great Leader of Delza Army/Rock Great Leader incarnation, the Great Leader claimed that he was secretly behind Garanda and several other prior evil organizations as well."

"But he wasn't Ruler in disguise or anything," Emu asked, just to confirm.

"No, he was not," Satsuki replied.

"Okay then. I choose A., the Ruler of the Garanda Empire!" Emu declared.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Damn that Satsuki… She's ruining everything…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snarled as he regained his composure.

"You bringing her back was a really good idea, Hiiro," Parad complimented the surgeon.

"All of Doctor Kagami's ideas are good," Satsuki said smugly. Hiiro nodded impassively.

Mizuki pouted. "I'm here too, you know…"

"You know, this quiz is supposed to be for Emu, not her," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD complained.

"You're the one who said that I could ask my friends for help," Emu pointed out.

"A decision I am regretting more and more with every passing question. Let's see if this one can trip her up," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, gesturing to the screen.

 **For decades, Kamen Riders have battled a massive variety of monsters, some of which are stranger than others. Which of the following weird kaijin was never fought by a Rider?**

 **A. Starfish-Hitler**

 **B. Elasmotherium Orphnoch**

 **C. Ika-Jaguar Yummy**

 **D. Panda Rabbit Imagin**

 **E. Turtle Bazooka**

 **F. Old Dopant**

 **G. Hammer Chameleon**

 **H. Whale Mutant**

…

 **So, which of the above does not belong?**


	14. Question 13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"… That is a lot of very unusual monsters," Hiiro said slowly.

"And here I thought having a hamburger-themed Bugster was bizarre," Taiga commented.

Kiriya shook his head slowly. "Trust me; this is just the tip of the iceberg as far as weird monsters go. And from what I hear, the Super Sentai may have it even worse than us."

"Okay, it's Starfish Hitler, right?" Nico guessed. "I mean, come on, it has to be. It's a monster based on freaking Adolf Hitler. There's no way anyone would ever make a monster like that. Well, unless they were a neo-Nazi or something, I guess. But since most evil organizations are either Japanese or from another world or something, that can't be the case, so it has to be Starfish Hitler, right?"

There was an awkward silence. "Actually…" Emu said slowly.

Nico's job. "No. No. Shut up. No freaking way. You're joking, right? Someone… Someone actually made… That's just… Why? _Why?!"_

"G.O.D. made two kinds of monsters," Hiiro informed her. "Creatures based on mythology, and monsters that were a fusion of animal and historical figures."

Kiriya nodded. "So one week, Kamen Rider X would be fighting something like Neptune or Hercules or Medusa… The next, it's something really out there like Genghis Khan-Condor, Scorpion-Geronimo, Scorpion-Geronimo Junior.-"

"Wait, they made two of them?" Asked a bewildered Taiga.

Parad shrugged. "I guess they figured one wasn't good enough?"

"Ant Capone, Spider Napoleon, or… Well, Starfish Hitler," Kiriya finished with a shrug.

"… That's… That's insane," Nico said in disbelief. "What, did G.O.D. have Nazi remnants making them up or something?"

"No, that's Destron and Shocker," Hiiro told her.

"… What the fuck?!" Nico shrieked.

"Wait, really?" Taiga asked in surprise.

Satsuki nodded. "Colonel Zol of Destron used to be a Nazi, and Shocker's founders had Nazi ties."

"… And just when I thought they couldn't get any eviler…" Said a disgusted Emu.

"Well, with Starfish Hitler ruled out, I'm guessing it's the Elasmotherium Orphnoch, because I have no idea what kind of animal that is, and I suspect it doesn't exist," Parad suggested.

"Actually, the Elasmotherium is an extinct species of rhinoceros from the Pleistocene," Mizuki spoke up.

"… Oh," Parad said. "So, did someone make a monster based off of it, or…?"

"They did," Satsuki confirmed.

"Oh," Parad said, disgruntled.

"So… Which monster is the right one, then? Or rather, the fake one?" Taiga wondered.

Everyone looked at Satsuki. "You know, we probably shouldn't be relying her so much," Emu commented.

"Do _you_ know which monster is the fake?" Kiriya asked pointedly.

"… No," Emu confessed.

"Well, neither do I, but I bet she does," Kiriya said, nodding at the nurse.

"I do," Satsuki confirmed. "And you don't need to be concerned on my part, Doctor Houjou. I am more than happy to assist Doctor Kagami and his colleagues."

"Which monster is the correct answer, Satsuki?" Hiiro asked.

"The Ika-Jaguar Yummy was created by the Greeed Kazari using a former Shocker combatman as an incubator," Satsuki recalled. "Panda Rabbit was indeed an Imagin, similar to the Rabbit Imagin, but with a different coloration. Turtle Bazooka is a Destron kaijin. The Old Dopant was real, as was the Whale Mutant, a member of the cult of Gorgom who briefly assisted Kamen Rider Black." She frowned. "However, I don't believe I've ever heard of Hammer Chameleon before."

"That's because it's not a Rider monster, but a Sentai kaijin," Mizuki spoke up. "It was a Bio Dimensional Beast created by the Dimensional War Party Vyram and defeated by the Choujin Sentai Jetman."

"A what made by the what defeated by the who now?" Asked a confused Nico.

"Bio Dimensional Beasts are monsters born through the fusion of a Bio Dimensional Bug parasite with an object and animal's DNA," Mizuki explained. "They were used as monsters of the week by Vyram, a group of invaders from the Back Dimension who tried to invade the Earth in the early nineties and were opposed by the Jetmen, a group of heroes empowered by 'Birdonic Waves' discovered by the international Defense agency Sky Force to fight evil."

"…'Birdonic' isn't a real word," Nico said.

"'Back Dimension?'" Asked a skeptical Kiriya. "What kind of name is that?"

"It's the exact opposite of our dimension, which they dubbed the 'Front Dimension,'" Mizuki explained. "And… It's _probably_ not the same Back World the Interdimensional Crime Group Gangler is from. I think."

"… Still a dumb name…" Kiriya muttered.

"Yes, and _Kamen Rider Lazor Turbo_ is the epitome of sensible names," Taiga said sarcastically.

"Touché," Kiriya conceded.

"So, are you a Sentai otaku since Satsuki is a Kamen Rider otaku?" Nico asked Mizuki.

"No, I just read lots of wikis," Mizuki said with a shrug.

"Kuroto!" Emu declared.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"The answer is G., Hammer Chameleon!" Emu cried.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Nnngh… Dammit, thought that would trip her up for sure… Just how encyclopedic is her knowledge of Rider lore, anyway?!"

"Extremely," Mizuki deadpanned. "And if _you're_ annoyed by it, at least you don't have to live with her."

"I don't hear many complaints when we watch episodes and movies together," Satsuki protested.

Mizuki gave her friend a weary, yet warm smile. "I think we both know that the screen isn't what I'm watching." Satsuki blushed at that.

"… Wait, are the two of you-" Parad started.

"We aren't through with monsters yet!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interrupted. "Let's try the inverse, shall we?"

He gestured at the screen.

 **For decades, Kamen Riders have battled a massive variety of monsters, some of which are stranger than others. Which of the following weird kaijin** _ **was**_ **fought by a Rider?**

 **A. Jellyfish-Mussolini**

 **B. Toilet Ganma**

 **C. Japanese Dwarf Flying Squirrel Beastman**

 **D. Hissing Cockroach Mutant**

 **E. Aye-Aye Orphnoch**

 **F. Dandelion Undead**

 **G. Microscopium Zodiarts**

 **H. Refrigerator Ocelot**

…

 **So, can you tell which of the above monsters is real? And can anyone tell me why the heck Japan creates such bizarre monsters? I mean, seriously!**


	15. Question 14

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Everyone immediately turned to Satsuki. "Oh, come on!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted. "At least PRETEND you're going to figure it out on your own before making her do it!"

"We could do that, but the sooner we're done with this, the sooner we're finished with this stupid game of yours," Taiga said flatly.

"It is NOT stupid!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cried indignantly.

"Is too," Nico said, sticking her tongue out.

"Satsuki?" Hiiro asked.

"The answer is Japanese Dwarf Flying Squirrel Beastman," Satsuki informed him.

There was a pause. "… _Really_ ," Kiriya said, cracking up in disbelief.

"That's… Wait, that's an actual species? We have our own dwarf flying squirrel?" Asked a surprised Parad.

"We do," Mizuki confirmed.

"And someone got the bright idea to make a monster based off of it because…?" Nico asked slowly.

"You'd have to ask the Garanda Empire that," Hiiro said with a shrug.

"Except we can't, because they're dead, courtesy of Amazon," Kiriya pointed out. "The original, not the one fighting man-eating monsters created by an evil pharmaceutical Corporation."

"Yeah, I got it," Parad said, rolling his eyes.

"Both Garanda and Geddon created their monsters by abducting people and transforming them into animal monsters through cybernetic surgery using ancient Incan science and magic," Satsuki explained.

"And someone in this organization apparently thought that a good use of ancient Incan science and magic would be to turn someone into a monster based off the Japanese Dwarf Flying Squirrel," Nico said, still struggling to wrap her head around this.

"So it would appear, yes," Satsuki confirmed.

"Man, we Japanese sure are weird," Kiriya said between laughs. "Bet the Americans don't get monsters half as bizarre as some of the ones we come up with."

"Wonder why that is, anyway?" Taiga wondered. Everyone shrugged.

"Wait, does Garanda count as Japanese? I thought they were descended from the Parthians," Parad recalled.

"Eh, they operated here, I think it's close enough," Kiriya said.

"Kuroto!" Emu shouted.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"The answer is C., Japanese Dwarf Flying Squirrel Beastman!" Emu declared.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Dammit, I thought for sure that one would work… Such an obscure and ridiculous idea for a kaijin…"

"If you want to stump Satsuki, you're going to have to try harder than that," Mizuki said smugly.

"Mizuki, remember, this supposed to be Emu's game, not mine," Satsuki reminded her partner.

"Not to mention it is probably not a good idea to taunt Kuroto,"Hiiro said.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"That hasn't stopped the so far," Parad pointed out.

"True enough," Hiiro conceded. Everyone chuckled.

" _Take me seriously, dammit!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shouted furiously, banging his fists on the podium.

"It's a little hard to, when you're dressed like that," Emu said apologetically.

"Nnnghh… Maybe THIS will make you stop laughing!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, gesturing to the screen.

 **Throughout history, Kamen Riders have battled a wide assortment of monsters, many of which have recurring motifs. Three of the most frequently battled kinds of kaijin are those based off of spiders, bats, and serpents. Which of these three kinds of monsters has been represented the most in battles against Riders?**

 **A. Spiders.**

 **B. Bats.**

 **C. Snakes.**

…

 **This one is hopefully a bit trickier. Can you guess the answer?**


	16. Question 15

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Nico frowned. "Spiders, bats, snakes.… Do they really show up that often? I don't remember us fighting any."

"There was Shocker Leader III's true form, but other than that, none of our foes have fit any of those archetypes," Emu agreed. "However, that doesn't mean other Riders haven't fought plenty of them."

Hiiro nodded. "Indeed. There have been between 70 and more than 80 monsters of each type, more than any other type of recurring monster."

Taiga's eyes widened in amazement and Kiriya whistled. "Wait, that many?! I mean, I knew there were a lot, but… Wow!"

"Why are there so many?" Parad wondered. "More than other kinds of recurring monsters?"

"It's a homage of sorts to the adventures of the first Rider," Satsuki explained. "The very first enemy he battled was Spider Man, the second was Bat Man, and Cobra Man was the first monster to be revived and improved or remodeled."

Nico blinked. "… The first Rider fought Spider-Man and Batman? Why would he do that?"

"Maybe it was one of those misunderstandings between superheroes that happens so often in the comics… And to Riders in real life, for some reason…?" Parad suggested.

"No, no, not Spider-Man and Batman, _Spider Man_ and _Bat Man_ ," Kiriya corrected. "The first two are superheroes, but the ones we're talking about were Shocker kaijin."

"Oh," Parad said.

"Wait, they named their monsters the same as superheroes? Isn't that major trademark infringement or something?" Nico asked skeptically.

Taiga shrugged. "They're evil. They probably didn't care."

"Plus, the hero Spider-Man has a hyphen and Batman is one word, while the monster's names aren't," Emu said helpfully.

"Come on, man, we both know that's not enough of a difference to matter," Parad complained.

"Funnily enough, we actually had our _own_ superhero Spider-Man in the late seventies, who transformed using alien technology and had a giant robot he used to fight the evil forces of Professor Monster and the Iron Cross Army," Kiriya spoke up.

His friends gave him incredulous looks. "You're making that up," Taiga accused.

"I am not," Kiriya promised. "He even had the same suit as the American hero."

"Bullshit," Nico said with a snort.

"Actually, he's completely correct. Once upon a time, we _did_ have a Japanese Spider-Man," Mizuki said.

Nico stared into the distance, a blank look on her face. "… Does anyone else ever get the feeling that the world we live in is far too strange to be reality?"

Parad shrugged. "I'm a living videogame virus born from the Y2K bug, so I kind of already have a high baseline to begin with." Nico grunted in acquiescence.

"Wait," Taiga said with a frown. "There are so many spider, bat, and snake monster because it's some sort of homage to some of the monsters that the first Rider fought? But… That doesn't make any sense, why would so many evil organizations feel the need to mimic Shocker in that respect? And what about all the monsters who come from species which existed long before Shocker did-"

"So, Satsuki, what's the right answer?" Kiriya asked loudly.

Satsuki considered for moment. "I would have to say… Spiders. Definitely spiders."

"Which is unfortunate, because I'm deathly afraid of them," Mizuki said calmly.

"In that case, the answer is A. Spiders!" Emu declared.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage.

"Well done as usual, Satsuki," Hiiro complimented his nurse.

Satsuki blushed and bowed her head. "Thank you for your praise, Hiiro-sama."

"Kind of amazing and horrifying there are that many spider monsters out there, huh?" Nico commented.

Taiga nodded. "It's a good thing they're all dead."

"I see the spider kaijin in my sleep. They haunt my nightmares, crawling all over my skin,"Mizuki said with an eerie calm.

They regarded the ninja awkwardly for a moment. "… So! What's the next question?" Emu asked loudly to change the subject.

"And how much longer is this Shocker round going to be, anyway?" Parad asked.

"Or this game in general?" Hiiro inquired.

"It will end when I say it does! And hopefully, this question will bring the Shocker round to a close…" _And if not, I may need to start taking desperate measures… Though perhaps this one…_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD gestured to the screen with malicious glee. "Let's see if THIS can at last trip up your little walking font of Rider history over there!"

 **How many Riders were created by Shocker?**

 **2.**

 **4.**

 **10.**

 **None of the above**

…

 **Can you solve this question? The answer may not be what you expect.**


	17. Question 16

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Wait, Shocker _created_ Kamen Riders? I thought Riders were all about _fighting_ Shocker!" Said a confused Nico.

Everyone gave her incredulous looks. "Nico, we _really_ need to get you up-to-date on Rider history," Emu said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Taiga, I blame you for her lack of education," Kiriya declared.

"What?! How is this my fault?!" Taiga protested.

"You're her sempai, it's your job to teach her this sort of thing!" Kiriya insisted.

"I am _not_ her sempai!" Taiga spluttered as some of the others snickered.

"Yeah, I haven't even made any efforts to get him to notice me," Nico half-joked, eliciting more laughs at Taiga's expense.

"Maybe you should be playing more dating simulators then," Parad jokingly suggested, only to frown. "No, wait…that's the genre Loverica came from. Maybe not the best way to learn about getting into a relationship with someone."

"Dating simulators are stupid," said Nico, who secretly obsessively collected and exhaustively played through every dating simulator she could get her hands on, and would cut anyone she thought might suspect her deep dark secret.

"Shocker created the original Riders as more of their cyborg monsters," Hiiro explained. "However, they were able to overcome the brainwashing process and chose to rebel against their creators, fighting for justice rather than evil."

Emu nodded. "It's actually something that happens a lot with Riders. Just about every Rider in history was either created by or uses the same source of power as the monsters and evil organizations they fight against."

"Like how we can't transform into Riders without having a bit of the Bugster virus inside of us," Kiriya added.

Nico nodded slowly as she comprehended this. "Oh, I see… Does that mean we're like hunters of our own kind, then?"

"Well, seeing as how I'm a Bugster, that's certainly true in my case," Parad pointed out.

"There is an argument that we Riders are nothing more than failed monsters," Hiiro acknowledged. "Such arguments are most often used by villains that are then defeated by Riders, so there's probably not much truth to it."

"So, how many Riders did Shocker create? Just the first two, right?" Taiga asked.

Kiriya shook his head. "No, there's also Kamen Riders 3 and 4."

"I thought V3 was made by Destron," said a confused Parad. "As was Riderman, who I think is considered to be the fourth first real Rider."

"Not V3, just 3. Shocker created a third Rider while they were messing around with a history rewriting machine so they could alter the past by killing the first two Riders, and made a fourth one when that plan fell through and used the machine to try and create time loops. Both of them were defeated by Kamen Rider Drive," Emu recalled.

"So, Shocker made four Riders," Taiga concluded.

"Actually, they made 10," Satsuki interjected.

They looked at her in surprise. "Wait, really?" Said a startled Parad.

"I don't remember seeing any mention of Riders 6 to 10 in the newsletters…" Kiriya murmured.

"That's because they aren't _Kamen_ Riders, but _Shocker_ Riders," Satsuki explained. "When the first Rider seemingly died fighting the monstrous Mukadetiger, Gel-Shocker decided to create a new group of Riders to discredit their heroic name. Fortunately, it turned out that the first Rider was alive after all, and he and his partner defeated the Shocker Riders."

"Huh. I guess that makes them the first evil Riders, then," Parad commented.

"For a given value of 'Rider,'" Hiiro pointed out.

"Ha, suck it Ouja and Shadowmoon!" Kiriya crowed.

"So, the answer is 10?" Emu asked Satsuki.

She nodded. "I believe so, yes."

"Wait, but she said the Shocker Riders were made by _Gel_ -Shocker, not regular Shocker," Nico pointed out. "Are you sure that counts?"

"Please, everyone knows Gel-Shocker is basically exactly the same as regular Shocker but with a 'Gel' in front of it," Kiriya said dismissively. "It was a rebranding, not a brand-new organization."

"Plus, they're called _Shocker_ Riders, not Gel-Shocker Riders," Taiga added.

Satsuki nodded. "The Shocker Riders are classified as both Shocker and Gel-Shocker monsters. That's why I believe the answer is 10."

Emu nodded. "Okay. That works for me." He turned to face Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "The answer is 10!"

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show a triumphantly posing Kamen Rider 1 and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage.

"And that's another one down!" Kiriya chuckled.

"Hey, Kuroto-" Parad started.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

"When are you going to bring out the hard questions, huh?" Parad joked.

Hiiro frowned and shot the Bugster a look. "You shouldn't tempt him like that. He might just take you up on it."

"Yes," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said slowly, looking at his Rider Gauge. It was much lower than he would've liked. "I just might." He started shaking with rage, and more than a little concern. _Dammit, they're doing better than I expected. At this rate, I may actually lose before I get all the data I need! My Gauge is more than half empty, and I'm only about halfway to my goal… Looks like it's time for desperate measures after all._

"You want a hard question, Parad?" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD asked out loud. "Allow me to oblige you. Let's do something a little different with this next question, shall we?"

He gestured at the screen, and it was filled with four images. One was of a saluting man in black clothes with white spine and rib cage designs on the shirt, a belt with a large buckle bearing the Shocker insignia, and a mask similar to lucha libre with a Shocker insignia on the forehead. The second was of a tonfa-wielding man clad in red with black gloves and boots, studded metal strips on the shoulders and neck and the top of his head, goggles, large metal earpieces resembling antenna, and a belt with a logo vaguely resembling a bird wings and head in the shape of a D. The third was of a man carrying a knife somewhat resembling the first picture, but with a scorpion design instead of a rib cage, a lucha mask somewhat resembling a skull, and a belt with a large scorpion emblem on the buckle. The final image was of a man in brown spandex with white boots, gloves, shoulder pads, belt, and a mask similar to what hockey players wore.

"Throughout history, Kamen Riders have fought evil organizations of all stripes, and all those organizations have had a seemingly endless supply of expendable henchmen to throw at the Riders alongside the more powerful and distinctive monsters of the week," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD lectured, gesturing at the screen.

" **Identify what kinds of henchmen these are, and what organization they're from."**

…

 **I'm sorry I had to resort to this question. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. But trust me when I say that it could've been much, much worse. Can you identify these mooks?**


	18. Boss Stage 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Okay, even I know that the first one is a Shocker Combatman," Nico declared. "But who are the other three?"

Kiriya frowned. "Not sure about two or four, but the third one is… Either a Destron Combatman, or a goon from one of the other Shocker variants, I'm not sure which."

"Satsuki, can you tell us who they are?" Parad asked the nurse.

Satsuki frowned, staring at the pictures. Something about one of them nagged at her for some reason…

"Satsuki?" Hiiro inquired.

Satsuki started. "Oh! I… My apologies, Doctor Hanaya. I was… Nevermind. As Ms. Saiba said, the first one is a Shocker Combatman, while the others are a Dogma Fighter, a Destron Combatman, and a Chaps."

"Ha! Nailed it!" Kiriya cheered, pumping a fist.

"The heck is a Chaps?" Asked a confused Nico. "And whose bright idea was it to call them that, anyway? Did the designer have chapped lips that were really bothering him or something?"

"And which Dogma do the Dogma Fighters… Fight for?" Parad added. "I seem to remember there being two of them."

"Chaps are foot soldiers from the Crisis Empire, though I don't know who named them," Satsuki recalled. "And the Dogma Fighters served the Dogma Kingdom, and were later upgraded and brainwashed into being Jin Fighters for Jin Dogma."

"What's the difference between the two Dogmas?" Taiga asked.

"The Dogma Kingdom was a secret extremist organization originating from Dark-Nebula B-26 who tried to kill Kamen Rider Super-1 and rule the world with their cyborgs, purging all unworthy of their utopia," Satsuki explained. "After Super-1 defeated Emperor Macro Terror-"

"Seriously? His mother named him that?" Nico asked skeptically.

"Maybe he renamed himself after taking the throne," Parad suggested. "Royalty does that all the time."

"It was revealed that he was actually serving Marshal Demon, whose organization replaced the Dogma Kingdom in terrorizing Japan," Satsuki concluded.

"Wait, an Emperor was serving a Marshal? That doesn't sound right," Taiga complained.

"Also, shouldn't an Emperor be in charge of an _empire_ , not a kingdom?" Parad added.

"Maybe they do things differently in the Dark-Nebula B-26," Hiiro suggested.

"I guess that's as good an explanation as anything else," Taiga said skeptically.

"All right, so… The answer is Shocker Combatman, Dogma Fighter, Destron Combatman, and Chaps, in that order!" Emu declared.

There was a long pause. And then Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and _laughed_. "That is… Absolutely WRONG!"

"Huh?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his health bar dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and a Shocker Combatman sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"What?! No! That can't be!" Parad protested, shocked.

"Yeah, that would have to mean Satsuki was wrong, which I'm pretty sure by this point we've ruled out as impossible," Taiga agreed.

Hiiro nodded. "Indeed. Satsuki would never make such an error."

"Oh, but she did indeed!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled sinisterly. "It's true, she got it almost right… But there's one thing she failed to see. The first picture isn't of a Shocker Combatman… But a _Dai_ -Shocker Combatman!"

Satsuki gasped, horrified look on her face. "No… He's right! I can't believe I didn't see it before! I _thought_ something was off!"

"Oh, come on!" Kiriya protested angrily. "Shocker and Dai-Shocker Combatmen are virtually identical! How is she supposed to differentiate between the two?!"

"Yeah, that's cheating!" Parad agreed.

"Au contraire, there are subtle but still visible differences between the two uniforms," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD claimed. "Which, of course, a _true_ fan would have noticed right off the bat! I guess you aren't as big a Rider fan as you claim to be, Satsuki. How very disappointing. What must your master think of you for failing?"

"Don't you dare disrespect Satsuki like that!" Mizuki shouted furiously.

"No… He's right… I let everyone down, put someone's life in danger, and worst of all, betrayed Hiiro-sama's faith in me," Satsuki said hollowly. "There is only one course led to me now. Mizuki, your tanto, please."

"Wait… Holy crap, she's not about to do what I think she's about to do, is she?!" Cried the startled Kiriya as Mizuki hesitantly offered her friend a short sword.

"Satsuki, I know you're upset that you made a mistake, but that's not worth killing yourself over!" Taiga said, horrified.

"I have failed, and in doing so, disgraced Doctor Hanaya. This is the only way to restore his honor," Satsuki said solemnly.

"Hiiro, you aren't going to let her go through with it, are you?!" Emu demanded.

Hiiro's brow furrowed in thought. "…If a nurse were to make an error, no matter how minor, during a surgical procedure, it can cost a patient their life."

"HIIRO!" All the other Riders shouted.

"But on the other hand, it would take an exorbitant amount of effort to train a replacement up to Satsuki's level… Very well," Hiiro said grudgingly. "Satsuki, put the sword down. We shall find some other method for you to redeem yourself. Do not fail again."

"Hai, Hiiro-sama," Satsuki said in acknowledgment, bowing her head and giving Mizuki back her sword. "I shall not disappoint you again."

"See that you do not," Hiiro said sternly.

"…Hiiro's cold, dude," said a disturbed Nico.

"Not like that's anything new," Kiriya joked, struggling to hide his own shock.

"Darn, I really hoped you'd let her kill herself," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD grunted in disappointment. "Anyway, you all know what time it is!" He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Shocker Combatman head sandwiched between them.

The screen changed to show an older man in at least his sixties or seventies, bowing and praying before what looked like disturbingly like a shrine to the Great Leader of Shocker placed in a locker, a small idol of the crimson-clad figure surrounded by Shocker memorabilia and tortured effigies of Kamen Riders 1 and 2. "It's rather meaningful that the previous question was about evil henchmen, because that's exactly who our next victim is… Or rather, used to be. In Sendo is a former Shocker Combatman currently working at the Kougami Foundation, a job he hates with every fiber of his being."

"Why?" Parad asked.

"Partly because it's a dead-end job with little means of advancement, but mostly because the Kougami Foundation is one of several groups, such as Takeshi, the Wonderful Blue Sky Organization, the Yggdrasil Corporation, and my own former company of Genm, which provide support and funding for Kamen Riders, in this case OOO and the two Births," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD explained. "Naturally, as a former member of Shocker and self-proclaimed enemy of all Riders, he despises this and makes his disapproval known by intentionally screwing up in small, petty ways which are a minor inconvenience to everyone around him because he's in no position to do anything worse than that. He _is_ just an ex-henchmen, after all."

"If he hates it so much, why does he even work there?" Taiga asked.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrugged. "The pay and healthcare is fairly good, and Kougami personally bakes all of his employees cake on their birthdays."

"… Wow. That's a really nice boss," said a surprised Parad.

"Not even _our_ boss does that!" Kiriya complained.

"My father is many things, but a pastry chef is not one of them," Hiiro said with a heavy sigh.

"All his life, In Sendo has wanted nothing more than to avenge his comrades' constant defeat at the hands of Kamen Riders and finally score a victory for the forces of evil," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD continued. "Once, several years ago, he actually got a chance to do so… But it didn't work the way he'd planned. Let's see if round two will go differently, shall we?"

…

"Oh Great Leader-Sama, I, In Sendo, am nothing more than a lowly henchmen, unworthy of your notice," Sendo prayed, bowing repeatedly to the idol. "But please, at least hear me out, and grant this insignificant worm a moment of your time. If you should find it in your black hole of a heart to grace me with your attention, it shall be the happiest moment of my pitiful life."

…

"Wow, this guy has it bad," Nico whistled.

"Hey Satsuki, Mizuki, do you pray to Hiiro like that, too?" Kiriya joked.

Satsuki scoffed. "Of course not!"

Mizuki nodded. "Our shrine is much more tasteful."

Everyone stared at them. "… Wait, what?" Asked the startled Hiiro.

"You didn't know?!" asked the incredulous Taiga.

"I assure you, this is news to me," said the baffled Hiiro. "Satsuki, Mizuki, what are you doing praying to me? The only one you should be worshiping is Fruit Jesus and his pantheon!"

"But Hiiro-Sama, are you not an avatar of Lord Baron's will?" Satsuki pointed out.

"If so, then are you any less deserving of praise then the blessed Zack, Champion of Baron?" Mizuki added.

"I am not," Hiiro said firmly. "I am but a man, not a saint like him. Zack and the remaining Armored Riders are mortal now, but all know that they shall one day ascend the tree to join the fruity pantheon on holy Planet Helheim. You are to dismantle this shrine at once, and pray to Fruit Jesus for forgiveness for your heresy."

Satsuki and Mizuki bowed their heads in apology. "Hai, Hiiro-sama."

"… Did that just happen?" Asked a dumbfounded Parad.

"Their relationship defines understanding…" Kiriya muttered.

"Just like it denies my attempts to progress this game!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD complained, slamming his hand on a big red button on his podium. "Infest!"

…

Sendo started convulsing, doubling over in pain. "Oh…ohhhhh, I don't feel well… Dammit, I knew I shouldn't have had so much cake at the party, but that bastard Kougami makes them so _good_ …blaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhh!"

Without warning, he vomited a large stream of orange matter (conscientiously turning his head away from his locker, so as not to soil his shrine to Great Leader), which splattered on the ground, then bubbled and rose upwards, taking on a humanoid form. The moaning Sendo wiped his mouth and looked up just in time to see the creature he had just ejected from his body fully manifest. It resembled the Kaiden Bugster, only with a gold and blue color scheme, large exhaust pipes growing from its back, and the face of the Motors Bugster. It also wore a belt with a very large buckle bearing the Shocker emblem.

…

"What is that? Some weird fusion of the Motors and Kaiden Bugsters?" Nico asked.

"Looks that way," Taiga said.

Emu nodded. "Pretty much all the Bugsters we've seen today have been mixes."

"Looks like I'm up this time, then. Motors and Kaiden are both from my games," Kiriya said.

"I thought Motors was considering switching sides," Parad complained. "What's he doing as a bad guy again?"

"I was able to make him a better offer," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD bragged. "Not only that, he is now level 60, a far cry from the weakling he was before!"

"So, still stronger than Taiga, then," Hiiro said blandly.

"Will you guys knock it off with that?!" Taiga snapped as the others snickered.

…

Sendo's eyes widened and he gasped upon seeing the belt. "That belt… You are… A Shocker kaijin?!"

"Huh? A what now? Oh, um, yes! I am indeed… Whatever you just said!" The Bugster said, striking a pose.

Sendo clapped his hands together giddily. "Wonderful! My prayers have at last been answered! But…" He frowned. "What were you doing inside of me?"

"Oh uh,… I was just…um…" Motors said awkwardly, trying to think of a good excuse.

" _One of my agents planted his larval form inside you without your notice,"_ a deep, sinister voice spoke up from the belt, the eagle's eyes flashing. _"Since then, he has been incubating inside of your body, and has just now reached maturation. Now, he is ready to go forth and kill the Kamen Riders!"_

Sendo gasped and bent down to look the eagle in the eyes. "That voice! Is that… Great Leader-Sama?!"

" _Yes! It is I, Great Leader Ultimate-er, I mean, the one and only Great Leader of Shocker!"_ The voice declared.

…

Everyone glared at Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, who was speaking into a microphone. "What?" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD asked innocently.

"You're pretending to be Great Leader? Really?" Emu asked in disbelief.

"You are preying on that man's faith and gullibility. No thank you," Hiiro said coldly.

"Look, he'd start suspecting something if he didn't hear Great Leader's voice speaking from the belt," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted. "He got burnt before when Kazari used him to create the Ika-Jaguar Yummy."

"And it's important for him to think that Motors is a real Shocker monster because…?" Taiga asked.

"…Uh… Well… There's a very good explanation for that…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said awkwardly.

"Yeah, wouldn't it make sense for Motors to tell him right off that he's a Bugster and not a Shocker kaijin, to make him more stressed and upset and hasten his death?" Nico added.

"That's… True, yes," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD admitted slowly. "But, ah, my plan is much more complicated than-"

"You just want someone to speak to you with the respect and adoration you've convinced yourself you deserve, don't you?" Parad accused.

There was a long silence. "… Is it so wrong that, for once, I want someone to treat me like the god I know I am?" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD pleaded.

"YES!" Everyone shouted at him. He pouted.

…

"And you chose ME of all people for this great honor?!" Sendo asked, stunned. He bowed repeatedly to the belt. "Oh, thank you, Great Leader-Sama! Thank you! I am unworthy!"

"… Okay, starting to feel kind of uncomfortable here…" Motors muttered, fidgeting, uncomfortably.

" _Do not think so highly of yourself, worm!"_ The belt snapped. _"You are a means to an end, nothing more. In fact, you shall be lucky if you survive long enough to see my mighty kaijin kill even a single Rider. It's life force is connected to yours, and as it grows stronger, you grow weaker, and in short order you shall die so that this mighty kaijin shall achieve its full potential!"_

This did not seem to bother Sendo one bit. "So long as this monster kills even a single Rider, my life will be well spent! I swore my life in service to you the moment I took my oath to be a member of Shocker, Great Leader-Sama! If my death shall achieve your glory, then so be it!"

" _Excellent_!" The belt cackled.

…

"You seriously don't feel even the least bit ashamed for doing this?" Asked a disgusted Emu.

"No," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said bluntly.

…

Sendo frowned, perplexed. "But – – and I do not mean to presume, Great Leader-Sama – – something seems different about this kaijin. Aren't most Shocker monsters based on animals? This one just appears to be a rather ugly samurai."

"Ugly?!" Motors cried, indignant.

"… _Oh, snap, that's right…uh… Well spotted, my minion! This is a leftover Destron Inhumanoid, Tortoise Katana, a distant relation of Turtle Bazooka!"_ The belt said quickly. _"Which is why he's a samurai."_

"That's a tortoise?" Sendo asked, looking confused.

"I'm a tortoise?" Motors asked, equally confused.

" _He is, and you are! Stop questioning me!"_ The belt snapped.

"Yes, Great Leader-Sama!" Sendo cried, snapping to attention at the same time as Motors yelled, "Whatever you say, Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" The Bugster stiffened in horror, realizing what he just said as Sendo stared him in confusion.

…

"Oh, shit, I forgot I programmed him to call me that!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cursed.

"What an unprecedented development! Your colossal ego has backfired on you!" Kiriya said in faux disbelief as everyone else laughed. "Whoever could have foreseen this outcome?"

…

Sendo blinked, looking at the Bugster in confusion. "…Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD? Why did you call him that? Wasn't Kuroto Dan that guy who tried to turn the whole world into some sort of video game-"

" _Ignore this fool, clearly his brain glitched as a result of being born from such a pathetic specimen such as yourself!"_ The belt said quickly.

Sendo frowned. "Glitched? That sounds like the sort of thing a monster based on a videogame would do… And come to think of it, the way he came out of me sort of looks like how those Bugsters Kuroto Dan created come out of people…"

…

"Oh look, a Kamen Rider!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled desperately into the microphone, frantically stabbing a button on his console.

A warp point suddenly appeared beneath Kiriya. "Fuck yoooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" He yelled, flipping Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD the bird as he dematerialized and rematerialized on the monitor just in time for Sendo to finish turning around.

…

Sendo gasped when he saw Kiriya. "You! You're a Kamen Rider, one of those doctors!" He frowned. "Which… Almost exclusively fight Bugsters, come to think of it-"

" _Motors – – I mean, Tortoise Katana, destroy him!"_ The belt yelled frantically.

"With pleasure!" Motors said, trying to draw one of his swords… Only to bang his elbow into the locker beside him. "Ow!" He looked around, realizing for the first time they were in a locker room. "… Um, I don't think there's enough room in here for me to use these things, boss."

" _Dammit!"_

"Guess I'll just have to take this fight to a new venue, then," Kiriya said with a grin, pulling out his Gamer Driver…

Only for Sendo to lunge at him, grappling him to keep him from getting the belt around his waist. "Hey! What are you doing?!" Kiriya protested.

"I will not allow you to lay a hand on my progeny!" Sendo declared.

"… Your what now?" Kiriya asked, bewildered.

"Okay, this is getting weird," Motors muttered.

Sendo glanced over his shoulder. "Go, mighty Tortoise Katana! Go forth and fulfill your mission! I shall hold this accursed Rider back for as long as my feeble body has strength!"

"Sure, okay," Motors said, confused.

"Dude, what are you doing?! I'm trying to save your life!" Kiriya protested, struggling to break Sendo's grip. "If I don't defeat that monster, you're going to die!"

"So be it! A death in service of Great Leader-Sama is a death well earned!" Sendo declared.

"But he's _not_ Great Leader, he's-" Kiriya started.

" _The one and only Great Leader!"_ The belt barked. _"Tortoise Katana, go forth on your noble steed! Go forth and destroy!"_

"My noble what now?" Asked the bewildered Bugster.

" _Your… Hold on, it's on its way,"_ the belt said.

…

"Didn't you promise that you were going to stop interfering after the fight with Revol?" Emu asked as Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD inputted commands into a holographic interface.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD scoffed. "I think we all know that I was lying through my teeth when I said that."

"I don't suppose you're going to buy us pizza to convince us to look the other way again?" Parad asked in disappointment.

"I'm not made of money!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

…

There was the sound of a mighty neigh, followed by the clip-clop of hooves on tile floor. Both Kiriya and Sendo paused in their struggle. "… Did… Did he just summon a horse?!" Kiriya asked incredulously.

"Hey, we can't have horses in here! It's against company policy!" Sendo protested.

Kiriya stared him in disbelief. " _That's_ where you draw the line? Really?!"

"Do have any idea how hard it is to remove hoofsteps from linoleum? And don't get me started on the mess they leave!" Sendo insisted.

Kiriya blinked. "… Is this… Is this thing that's happened often around here?"

"This is a company that's found a way to harness human desire as a power source to fight against homunculi born from pure greed, run by a man who personally bakes birthday cakes for all his employees, and one of our scientists turned into a dinosaur monster and tried to destroy the world. Trust me, horses stampeding down the halls isn't even one of the top 10 weirdest things that have happened around here," Sendo said flatly.

…

"You know, the same could be said about CR," Taiga commented.

"We've never had any horses," Emu argued.

"Actually, there was the one time…" Hiiro recalled.

"Wait, seriously?!" Emu asked in surprise.

"You weren't in that day," the surgeon said with a shrug.

Nico burst into laughter. "Man, have I missed you guys."

…

A distinctly equine silhouette could be seen against the far wall. The humans and Bugster stared in wonder as the equestrian shadow threw back its head, flailed its hooves in the air, and neighed once more…

And then the figure casting the shadow rounded the corner and revealed itself to be a Bugster Virus dressed like a Shocker Combatman wearing a disturbing rubber horse mask over its head and banging a pair of coconuts together in its hands.

Everyone stared at the 'horse' for a long while.

"What," Kiriya said finally.

…

Back at the stage, everyone stared at Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, stunned. The madman fidgeted. "… Look, to make room for the Giri Giri Chambara data I had to get rid of his motorcycle, and I didn't have enough time to code in a full horse so I had to make do with what I had, okay?" He muttered, embarrassed.

"Seriously?" Asked a dumbfounded Taiga.

"Look, game development is hard! It isn't easy to program something as complex as this with a tight deadline and a shoestring budget, you know!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said defensively.

"Well, I suppose I've seen worse games," Emu admitted doubtfully.

"What, were you trying to get it done in time for the holidays or something?" Asked an incredulous Nico. "You know how many games that's killed! I thought you learned your lesson after the disastrous Mighty '06!"

"We do not speak of that atrocity," Parad said coldly. Emu nodded in agreement.

"I would rather not be reminded of that failure as well," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD muttered, embarrassed.

"If you're having a budgetary issue, why didn't you try crowdfunding?" Mizuki asked.

"You don't think that's the first thing I tried?" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD complained. "I set up a website and everything, but for some reason not many people seemed interested in funding a game being produced by someone who tried to take over the world on more than one occasion. That, or they weren't interested in the signed headshots I was offering as rewards for meeting certain thresholds for some reason."

"I can't imagine why," Hiiro said sarcastically.

…

"… So, um, what am I supposed to do with this, exactly?" Motors asked finally.

" _Mount your noble steed, and flee!"_ the belt declared dramatically.

"My noble – – that's not a steed! It's a guy pretending to be a horse!" Motors yelled in disbelief.

" _Look, if it was good enough for Monty Python it's good enough for you! Now go!"_ the belt ordered.

Motors stared at the Virus pretending to be a Shocker Combatman pretending to be a horse. It whinnied helpfully. Motors facepalmed, then gave Kiriya a long-suffering look. "Okay, the next time I respawn, I'm switching sides. Enough is enough."

Very reluctantly, he walked over to the Virus and climbed onto its back. "Giddyup, I guess," he said unenthusiastically. The 'horse' whinnied and ran out of the room with surprising speed, clip-clopping its coconuts together all the way.

"Wow, Shocker must really be hurting for funds if they couldn't even afford a good Horse Man or something," Sendo commented.

"That wasn't… Oh, whatever," Kiriya snarled, shoving him out of the way. "I've gotta get after him!" He rushed out of the room.

"I shall follow you as well, my child," Sendo said, turning back towards his locker. "I just need to change into the… Appropriate attire."

He removed a secret panel from his locker, revealing a neatly folded Shocker Combatman uniform. He smiled. It still fit.

…

Kiriya rushed out of the Kougami Foundation corporate headquarters, only to find Motors and his steed were long gone, the faint sound of neighing, hoofbeats, and screaming civilians in the distance the only sign that they were anywhere nearby. "That horse sure is fast," the medical examiner murmured in disbelief. He hit the Stage Select button on his Driver…

 _ **ERROR!**_

Kiriya grimaced. "Great, this one has a jammer too. I'm going to have to go after him the old-fashioned way...But…"

The only way he could catch up to the Bugsters fast enough would be to turn into his level 1 form. Unfortunately, in his motorcycle form, he wasn't all that powerful without anyone riding him. He supposed he could use his Proto-Combat form… Wait, did he even have it on him?

As he frantically started searching his pockets, a beautiful woman with a bored expression on her face walked out of the building and approached him. "Kiriya Kujo?"

Kiriya glanced up. "Huh?" He smiled lasciviously when he noticed how attractive the woman was. "As it so happens, I am. And who might you be, pretty lady?"

The woman gave him a look so apathetic it bordered on contemptuous. "My name is Erica Satonaka, Mister Kougami's secretary. He asked me to give you this."

She handed him a medal with what looked like a hawk on the front and an X on the back. "What's this?" Kiriya asked, puzzled. Something about it looked familiar.

"Put it into one of those vending machines and find out," Erica said, nodding towards a bank of vending machines nearby.

"Okay," Kiriya said, confused. "So, is there a particular button I need to push, or…?"

"No, just touch the Multi TaS Sensor," Erica said, looking bored. "And you might want to stand back."

A bemused expression on his face, Kiriya walked over to one of the machines and inserted the medal into the coin slot, then tapped the sensor. The vending machine rumbled, and Kiriya quickly stepped back as, to his astonishment, it unfolded and transformed into a modified Honda VT 750 C2B Shadow Black Spirit motorcycle. He stared at it with a look of absolute rapture on his face. "… This is the best day of my life."

…

"We have vending machines that turn into motorcycles?!" Nico shrieked incredulously.

"Ridevendors have been placed all over the city by the Kougami Foundation for use by members of the Foundation's motorcycle brigade and Riders who rely on the Medal System," Satsuki explained.

"How did I not know this?!" She demanded.

"You really should read the newsletter," Emu said gently.

" _Fruit Jesus Kazuraba, I love this Gaimdamn country!"_

…

Kiriya turned to Erica and grinned broadly. "In fact, I think the only thing that could make it better would be…"

"No," she said bluntly.

"… Oh well, can't be faulted for trying," Kiriya said with a shrug. "Okay, Motors has a head start, and I'm probably going to need to go full power since he's level 60, and I need to end this fast, so…"

He swapped his Gamer Driver for the Buggle Driver II and strapped it onto his waist.

 _ **CLICKED IN!**_

He whipped out the Giri Giri Chambara Gashat.

 _ **GIRI GIRI CHAMBARA!**_

"Henshin!"

As the start screen for Giri Giri Chambara appeared behind him, he kicked the Gashat, which flew through the air and boomeranged back towards him, inserting itself into the proper slot.

 _ **BUGGLE UP!**_

A holographic projection emerged from the Buggle Driver II and passed over him, causing armor almost identical to his level III form to materialize on him, except it was navy blue.

 _ **DEADLY! SPEEDY! GIRI, GIRI! CHAMBARA!**_

"Now we're revving it up!" Kiriya posed for Erika. "So what you think of my level X form? Pretty sweet, isn't it? Well, for a recolor…"

She stared at him silently, looking so bored that it was a wonder she hadn't dropped dead from boredom long ago.

"… Tough crowd," he muttered. "Right, I'm off! Thanks for the bike!"

He jumped on the motorcycle, started it up, and rode off, laughing ecstatically.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Sendo cried, racing out of the building, wearing his full Combatman out form, finishing putting his mask on. "Don't start without…" He paused, noticing there was neither Rider nor monster anywhere to be found. "Me? Where did they go?"

"They left without you," Erika said boredly.

"Dammit! I have to catch up!" Glancing around, Sendo noticed the Ridevendors. "Aha! That should help!" He ran over, reached into his pocket… And paused. Embarrassed, he turned back to Erika. "Um, I don't suppose you have any spare Cell Medals, do you?"

Erika sighed wearily. "Why haven't we fired you yet?"

…

It didn't take long for Kiriya to catch up to Motors. After all, his 'noble steed' was only running as fast as a horse, while Kiriya was on a motorcycle. "Whoa! Where did you get that thing?!" Motors demanded when he saw Kiriya pull alongside him on the bike. "… And where can I get one, because that thing looks amazing!"

"It is!" Kiriya said giddily. "Its balance is perfect, the engine purrs like a happy kitten, it rides like a dream… I don't think I've ever rode a bike as good as this before! Hell, I can turn into a motorcycle, and I'm not as good as this thing!"

"Where did you get it?!" Motors demanded again.

"Certain vending machines built by the Kougami Foundation transform into motorcycles if you put Cell Medals into them," Kiriya explained.

"How did I not know that?!" Motors asked in disbelief.

"You should read the newsletter," Kiriya suggested.

"Clearly!" Motors drew a sword. "Now, let us battle! Quick, move me closer so I can hit him with my sword!"

His mount whinnied obligingly and moved closer to Kiriya's bike, the Bugster swinging one of his katanas at the Rider's head. Kiriya deflected the blow with his Driver in chainsaw mode, following it up with a few swipes that slashed at the Bugster and nearly knocked him off his steed. "Ack! Move me back, move me back!"

" _Don't retreat, you fool! Stay in there!"_ His belt bellowed.

"I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you!" Motors replied, spurring his steed into motion.

"Yeah, I don't think distance is going to help you much," Kiriya quipped as the Bugsters withdrew, switching his Driver into its beam mode and firing several energy blasts at the samurai biker.

Motors' sword flashed through the air, deflecting each blast before it could strike him, and causing them to explode as they struck the street, buildings, and cars. "That's not going to work on me, Kiriya! My reflexes are too good!"

…

"The metaphor wouldn't fly over his head, he'd catch it!" Nico joked.

Parad chuckled. "I understood that reference!"

"Drax is my favorite Guardian," Hiiro said abruptly, startling everyone but the nurses.

"…I did not expect you to get that joke," said the surprised Nico.

"I can watch superhero movies if I want to," Hiiro said with a frown.

"But you ARE a superhero," Taiga pointed out.

"And?" Hiiro replied. Taiga had no response that.

…

"True, but are your horse's?" Kiriya asked, angling his Driver down a little and firing another blast. Motors reflexively swung a sword to deflect it…

Only to miss, because the shot hadn't been aimed at him at all, but the ground just in front of his steed, the small explosion tripping up the 'horse' and causing it to flail back in surprise, throwing off Motors. The Bugster wailed in alarm as he flew through the air… Then rolled as he hit the ground, and was on his feet in moments. "Wow, my reflexes really _are_ good." He glanced up and saw that Kiriya had done a U-turn and was riding back towards him, his Driver switched to its chainsaw form, leaning out on one side to try and slash at his foe. "Let's see just _how_ good."

As Kiriya swung his chainsaw at Motors' head, the Bugster ducked at the last second and swung his sword in a mighty horizontal chop. The motorcycle went on past him…

And then sparks started flying from the massive gash he had cut in its side, oil spilling out and igniting. "Oh, shit!" Kiriya yelled in alarm, quickly jumping off the bike and rolling to safety just before it exploded in a mighty conflagration.

" _Well done! Perhaps you aren't useless after all!"_ The Bugster's belt crowed.

"Gee, thanks." Motors laughed and jumped back onto his steed's back. "There goes your ride, Kiriya! Tough luck trying to catch up to me now!" He kicked the 'horse' in the sides, causing it to rear back and neigh before charging off down the street.

" _Wait, where are you going? Go back and finish him!"_ The belt protested.

"Are you kidding? He's level X! In a straight up fight, there's no way I can beat him!" Motors argued. "All I need to do is draw this out until my host dies, and I win!"

"… _But I really,_ really _want you to kill Kiriya,"_ the belt whined.

"And I wanted to be done with this crap, but here I am, dressed up like a samurai and riding piggyback on some guy pretending to be a horse. We can't always get what we want," Motors said sagely.

…

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD fumed. "I must remember to punish him for that later."

" _I heard that,"_ Motors said.

"You were supposed to!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped.

…

"Dammit! Now I need a new ride…" Kiriya glanced around frantically, hoping to see another motorcycle or car he could 'borrow'… And then, to his delight, saw another bank of Ridevendors lined up outside a building. "How convenient!"

He rushed over to the vending machine, ransacked his pockets for some loose change, inserted it into the machine, and touched the sensor. The machine rumbled, and Kiriya eagerly took a step back…

And a can of soda popped out of the bottom, rolling to a stop against his feet. "… Right, it only transforms for Cell Medals. Make sense, wouldn't want everyone in the city accidentally getting a motorcycle every time they want a drink. Okay, how am I going to get a Cell Medal? I can't go all the way back to the Foundation… Let's see, Cell Medals are formed from crystallized human desire… So maybe if I focus on how much I really, _really_ want a new bike…"

A coin slot suddenly appeared on his forehead and spat out a Cell Medal. "Yes!" Kiriya cried joyfully, snatching the medal out of the air, inserting it into the machine, and touching the sensor. The vending machine rumbled and transformed into a motorcycle. "I'm back in the game, baby!"

He hopped on the bike, revved it up, and tore off down the street after Motors. Again, he caught up to the Bugster quickly. "Oh come on! Where did you get another one of those?!" Motors demanded in exasperation.

"Dude, there's lots of vending machines all over the city," Kiriya reminded him.

"… Oh, right. Well, I'll just have to deprive you of this one as well!" The exhaust pipes on his back flared up, spitting fireballs and bombs which littered the ground behind him.

Kiriya switched his Driver to its beam form and started firing shots into the air, blasting the fireballs and explosives apart before they could reach him, while expertly maneuvering around the obstacles already in his path. Riding alongside Motors, he switched his weapon back into its chainsaw form and lashed out at him. The Bugster caught the blow on his sword and deflected it, then swung at Kiriya's side. Kiriya parried the blows with his chainsaw and returned the favor with a retaliatory swipe, the two of them frantically exchanging blows, sparks flying as their blades clashed against each other.

This clash of blades came to a brief halt when a concrete divider rose up in the middle of the street before them, and they had to quickly split apart lest they crash into it. Kiriya switched his Driver back to its beam mode and started firing a volley of energy blasts at Motors which the Bugster masterfully deflected, charging energy into his sword and lashing out with blades of crimson energy which sliced through the divider and the pavement, forcing Kiriya to do some quick maneuvering to keep from getting cut apart. Spotting the end of the divider several dozen meters ahead, Kiriya gunned his motor, quickly outpacing the comparatively slower 'horse' as he raced ahead, rounding the divider and coming back down the other side, charging towards Motors.

"Hey, you can't drive this way!" Motors protested. "… No, wait, that's me. All right, you want an old school samurai horseback single-stroke duel? Fine with me!" He drew his second sword and spurred his mount into motion, swiping his blades before him and sending crimson energy crescents slicing up the street towards Kiriya, chewing up the pavement and cutting through the air.

Kiriya switched his Driver back to its chainsaw mode and swung it through the air, either deflecting or cutting through some of the energy blades that flew towards him, while expertly steering his bike to avoid the others, briefly swapping to beam mode to shoot blasts at Motors whenever he saw an opening before changing back to chainsaw form to deal with the next wave of energy blades. As they rapidly ate up the distance between each other, Motors crossed his swords in front of him, ready to lash out whichever way Kiriya went when he inevitably swerved to the side…

Only to realize, to his alarm, that Kiriya showed no sign of slowing down or moving in any direction other than right towards him. "What is he… Oh shit!" He cried in horrified realization when Kiriya jumped off of his bike and rolled away.

" _You idiot!"_ His belt berated. _"Quick, move out of the way before-"_

Kiriya brought up his Driver in its beam form and fired a blast right at the bike's gas tank just before it could crash into the Bugsters. The motorcycle immediately exploded, consuming both viruses in a tremendous conflagration. "Sorry I had to do that," he apologized, making the sign of the Fruit Basket over his chest. "You deserved better than that. May you ride free on the roads of Helheim, little bike."

There was a furious roar, and the great blaze was blown apart by powerful swipes from a pair of katana. "YOU KILLED MY HORSE!" Motors, burnt and covered in soot from the explosion, screamed.

"That wasn't a horse, it was a Monty Python reference," Kiriya argued.

"I _LOVED_ THAT HORSE!"

"You only rode him for a few minutes."

"WE FORMED A DEEP EMOTIONAL BOND IN THOSE FEW MINUTES!" Motors shouted. "And now I'm going to kill _you_!" He raised a sword in the air. "Arise, my vassals, and destroy this Rider!"

The air shimmered, and over a hundred Bugster Viruses wearing samurai armor over Shocker Combatman uniforms materialized, each of them brandishing a sword and shrieking shrilly.

…

"Okay, you couldn't give Motors a horse, but you _could_ give him an army of over a hundred Bugsters?" Parad asked in disbelief.

"They're just Viruses," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said dismissively. "Easily mass-produced. Just have to copy and paste the relevant data several dozen times, and there you go, instant army."

"It's really that simple?" Asked a surprised Taiga.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD burst into laughter, as did Parad, Nico, and Emu. "Of course not! Game development is far more complicated than that!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD sneered. "But yes, making a massive army of identical samurai Bugster Viruses uses far fewer assets than generating a horse would, though the reason as to why that is is far too complex for an amateur like you to understand. You have to be careful not to have too many on-screen at the same time, though, or you might get a lag and graphical errors if your software isn't up-to-date."

"… Wait, are we talking about video games or real life?" Asked the confused Taiga.

"In our line of work, I'm not sure there's a difference," Hiiro pointed out.

…

"Over a hundred Bugsters, huh?" Kiriya mused, tilting his head. "For some reason, I'm not that concerned. They're just mooks, after all."

"Well, you should be!" Motors snarled. "Get him!"

The Viruses shrieked, raised their swords, and charged at Kiriya. The Rider braced himself for combat…

When abruptly over a dozen Bugsters exploded in a burst of energy. "What?!" Motors cried in surprise.

" _What?!"_ His belt echoed.

"What?!" Kiriya also echoed.

An armored figure swooped down, his right arm covered in machinery ending with a drill, his left in a claw, his legs in thick boots resembling tank treads, a winged jetpack on his back, and a large cannon mounted on his chest. Energy gathered in the nozzle of the cannon and fired, obliterating another bunch of Bugsters. "Hope you don't mind if we butt in, Lazer Turbo!"

Another armored figure, similar to the flying one but without all of the mechanical attachments and some red stripes and rings on his armor rode up on another Ridevendor motorcycle, pouring Cell Medals into a sidearm which he then fired into the horde of Bugsters, taking out another sizable amount. "You aren't the first Rider Doctor, after all! Can't let you have all the fun!" he quipped.

" _What?! More Riders?!"_ Motors' belt shrieked. _"I said no more interference!"_

…

"I'm pretty sure that went out the window when you gave Motors a horse and an army," Emu pointed out.

"… Dammit!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cursed.

"Who the heck are those guys?" Nico asked. "And yes, I'm aware that I really need to read the newsletter."

"Those are Shintaro Goto and Akira Date, Kamen Riders Birth and Birth Prototype," Taiga informed her. "They work for the Kougami Foundation."

"What are they doing here?" Parad wondered.

…

"What are you guys doing here?" Asked the startled Kiriya. "And yes, Date, I'm well aware we aren't the first Rider doctors. Last I checked, neither were you. Or does the name Kaoru Kino mean nothing to you?"

"Yeah, well, he's dead, and I'm not," Date said flippantly.

"You almost were. Bullet through the brain and all that," Kiriya retorted.

"I got better," Date said with a shrug.

"Seeing as how this Bugster's host is an employee of the Foundation, Kougami decided to deploy us to see if you required any assistance," Goto explained, gliding down to hover next to his partner.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I could handle both this guy and this many Bugsters on my own, given that in this form I'm only slightly weaker than Hiiro's level 100 form, which makes me… The third strongest Rider on my team, I believe…" Kiriya said thoughtfully.

…

"Remember when that was you?" Parad asked an irritated Taiga. "But then I joined, and Kiriya got his level X power, making you more and more outclassed?"

"Will you knock that off?!" Taiga snapped in frustration.

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least you're not the weakest Rider," Nico pointed out.

Parad nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's you." Nico shot him a death glare.

"If I'd managed to master the power of Cronus, I bet none of you would be making fun of me…" Taiga grumbled to himself.

"Whatever happened to the Master Gashat for that, anyway?" Emu wondered.

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled. "I'll never tell!"

…

"But, it would be rude of me to decline help, since you guys came all the way out here… What the hell, sure, let's have a team up!" Kiriya decided.

Date laughed. "Excellent! Let your senpai show you how it's done!"

"Don't you mean senpai's?" Goto asked.

Date thought about it for moment. "No. Besides, last time I checked, I was still your senpai!"

"I surpassed you as a Rider years ago, while you're still stuck with an outdated and borderline obsolete prototype suit," Goto said flatly.

"… Yeah, well, I'm still older than you, so there," Date said. "I'm sticking my tongue at you, but you can't see it because I'm wearing a mask."

" _Oh Me, there's two of them…"_ The belt groaned.

"You're my hero," Kiriya whispered, awestruck. "Teach me everything you know."

"Maybe later. But first, we have some bad guys to beat up!" Date declared, cocking his gun.

"And we aren't the only ones who came to lend a hand," Goto added.

"Really? Is Hino here, too?" Kiriya asked in surprise.

"No, but they _are_ a group of colorful individuals," Date said cryptically.

Kiriya blinked. "Colorful? Wait… You don't mean…"

A drum started beating. Everyone turned to see a group of seven young men and women in color-coordinated outfits standing up the street, a large banner bearing a somewhat pyramidal crest behind them supported by androgynous people clad from head to toe in black robes and hoods. As the drumbeats increased, more robed figures passed before the colorful group with another banner, and once they were past, the seven were now wearing attire that made them look as if they'd walked right off the set of a samurai drama.

In unison, six of them produced flip phones with what appeared to be brushes at the end.

"SHODOPHONE! IPPUTSU SOUJOU!"

Six of them painted the kanji for Heaven, Wood, Fire, Water, and Earth in the air, the brushes creating the sigils in giant colorful energy which wrapped around him, garbing them in color-coded definitely not-spandex with helmets whose visors vaguely resembled the kanji.

The seventh whipped out a disk and a white flip phone.

"SUSHICHANGER! WELCOME!"

He snapped the disk onto a plug on the back.

"IKKAN KENJOU!"

The kanji for Light appeared, garbing him in shining gold and blue not-spandex as he drew a tanto from his scabbard resembling a fish.

The first samurai in red, a male, drew his sword. "Shinken Red! Shiba Takeru!"

The second samurai in red, a female, drew her sword. "(Princess) Shinken Red! Shiba Kaoru!"

The blue samurai drew his sword. "The same! Blue! Ikenami Ryuunosuke!"

The pink samurai drew her sword. "The same! Pink! Shiraishi Mako!"

The green samurai drew his sword. "The same! Green! Tani Chiaki!"

The yellow samurai drew her sword. "The same! Yellow! Hanaori Kotoha!"

The gold samurai posed with his sword, and did a twirl before sheathing his blade. "The same! Gold! Umemori Genta!"

All the samurai except for the red ones knelt as the male held his sword horizontally in both hands, declaring, "The samurai Sentai authorized by Providence!"

The other samurai got back to their feet and all seven of them swung their blades through the air in unison, shouting, "SHINKENGER! GOING FORTH!"

Kiriya stared, stunned. He wasn't the only one. " _What? What?!_ _ **WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT**_ _?!"_ The belt screamed.

"I… I have no idea what the hell is going on anymore," said the baffled Motors.

…

"He's not the only one," said a baffled Taiga.

"This is ridiculous! More Riders was bad enough, but now those color-coated clowns are butting in, too?!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked in indignation.

"He's got a point. What _are_ they doing here, anyway?" Parad questioned.

"Well, they're samurai, and Motors is a samurai and so are his underlings, so…" Nico suggested.

Mizuki shook her head. "No, that can't be it. The Shinkengers don't fight other samurai, they fight the Gedoshu, malevolent spirits born from sin-tainted souls dwelling in the Sanzu River in the netherworld that can enter our plane through any crack and narrow gap to terrorize humanity in hopes of causing the river to overflow with fear and despair, so that it can flood into our world and allow them to invade it."

"Which actually happened back in 2010, though the Shinkengers fixed it," Emu added.

Nico's face paled. "Wait. WAIT. Are you… Are you telling me that there are monsters from hell that can enter our world through _any_ crack or narrow gap to kill me?"

"No, of course not," Mizuki said. Nico sighed in relief. "They aren't from hell, but an adjacent dimension. The Gedoshu are barred from hell, which is why the self-professed connoisseur of human suffering, Akumaro Sujigarano, spent centuries trying to tear open a gate to hell that would consume Earth and the Sanzu so he could experience it firsthand, only to be stopped by a combination of the heroic Shinkengers and his pawn Juzo Fuwa turning out to be such an evil bastard he'd rather not destroy the world, because then he couldn't go on killing people."

Nico stared into the distance, a horrified look on her face. "… When I get home, I'm going to use _so_ much duct tape."

"It won't help," Mizuki said.

" _I don't care!"_

"As entertaining and absolutely horrifying as that information was, it still doesn't explain what the Shinkengers are doing here," Parad reminded them.

"Well, there's precedence for it," Hiiro pointed out. "The Shinkengers are the first Sentai to team up with a Kamen Rider."

"Wait, seriously?" Taiga asked in surprise. "But Riders and Sentai have been around for generations! How have we not bumped into each other before then?! Japan isn't THAT big!"

Satsuki shrugged. "When in doubt, blame Decade. That's what most people do when questions of that sort of nature pop up."

"Oh yeah, so that's why everyone jokingly said 'Curse you, Decade!' At the last reunion," Emu realized. "Tsukasa didn't seem too thrilled about it, though."

"Would you?" Parad pointed out.

"Ugh, don't remind me of that guy!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD groaned. "Who's going to show up next, him?"

…

Tsukasa Kadoya sneezed.

"Bless you," a blue monster resembling a sea turtle said, offering him a handkerchief.

"Thanks," Tsukasa said, reaching out for the handkerchief, only for a red monster resembling an oni to snatch it away and rip it to pieces.

"Don't give him that, Turtle-Boy!" The red monster snapped. "He hasn't done anything to _earn_ something as nice a handkerchief!"

"I was only being polite, senpai," the blue monster said calmly.

"Don't be polite to him!" The red monster snapped, banging a hand on the metal table, the three of them were seated at. "This is an interrogation! We're here to get answers, not wipe this jerk's nose!" He snarled at Tsukasa. "You'd better start talking now, boy, unless you want a nose that's running blood instead of snot!"

"Talk about what?!" Tsukasa protested. "I don't even know why I'm here, Momotaros! You guys just appeared out of the blue and dragged me here!"

The red monster, Momotaros, banged his fists on the table, denting it. "Don't give me that! You know what you did!"

"I really, really don't!" Tsukasa insisted. "I haven't done _anything_ lately that would warrant this treatment!" He paused. "I… Don't think I have, anyway…"

"Aha! You see, Turtle-Boy!" Momotaros said proudly. "He has to think about it! He's guilty of SOMETHING!" 00000

"Guilty of _what_?!" Tsukasa pleaded.

"You know what-" Momotaros started, only for the blue monster, Urataros, to cut in.

"Let me give this a shot, partner," Urataros said gently. "Now, Tsukasa, nobody here is saying you did anything wrong-"

"I am! Repeatedly!" Momotaros bellowed.

"But we're hoping you can shed some light on a little problem we're experiencing," Urataros continued.

"Little?! _**LITTLE**_ _?!"_ Momotaros roared.

"There have been a number of broad, sweeping, rather unsettling changes to the timeline as of late," Urataros said smoothly. "Changes so bad that the DenLiner was nearly derailed, and a number of other time trains have been lost with all on board. Heisei and Neo- Heisei Kamen Riders are disappearing from history, and I don't mean they're being abducted, I mean they're being _erased._ They still exist, but have no memories of being Riders, nor do their friends and allies, or their enemies, and indeed, every single event leading up to or following them becoming Riders has been wiped out completely. It's as if their adventures never happened."

"Also, Takumi Inui is in a constant state of temporal flux as to whether or not he lived or died following his defeat of the Orphnoch King," Momotaros added.

"Actually, that's been going on for years. Not even he's sure whether or not he lived or died," Urataros corrected the oni. "He's basically Schrödinger's Kamen Rider. You can't blame Tsukasa for that."

"Watch me!" Momotaros snarled.

"Anyway," Urataros said, getting back on track. "We've been able to patch things up so far using Ryotaro's Singular Point abilities to keep the timeline the way he remembers it, but it's only a partial fix at best, and if this keeps up, it's only a matter of time before the history of Kamen Riders are completely and irrevocably destroyed forever."

"Or worse, whoever's behind this comes for us!" Momotaros said angrily, with clear worry in his tone. "We already had to live with our timeline being torn out from under us once, I'd rather not go through that again!"

"That's… Okay, that's actually kind of horrifying, but I don't know why you think I have anything to do this," Tsukasa said, alarmed. "I deal with dimension-jumping, not time travel."

"Then how did you get to the Muromachi period to team up with us against the Oni brothers?" Urataros asked.

Tsukasa hesitated. "I'm… Not actually sure… But that doesn't change the fact that I have nothing to do with this. Despite what Narutaki says, everything isn't _always_ my fault."

"A likely story!" Momotaros sneered. "Tell him the other bit, Turtle-Boy!"

"There've been several indications that the person responsible is a Kamen Rider with the ability to assume forms based on past Riders," Urataros explained.

"Like you!" Momotaros said triumphantly.

"I'm not the only Rider with forms based on past Riders!" Tsukasa protested.

"Oh yeah? And how many of them go on to take over the world?" Momotaros inquired.

Tsukasa blinked. "Wait, what?"

"Things are still bit murky, but from what we can gather, the Rider responsible for this will take over the world at some point in the future, and by the year 2068, will be the unquestioned ruler of all of time and space," Urataros explained.

"Sound familiar?" Momotaros asked angrily.

Tsukasa fidgeted. "Okay, that… That does sound a lot like me, but I swear, it isn't me this time!"

"Oh really? So this isn't another one of your schemes where you turn evil again and try to take over all of reality, only for you to reveal at the last second that you were actually the good guy the whole time but couldn't bother to tell us for some reason?" Momotaros demanded.

"No!" Tsukasa protest. "I don't do that sort of thing anymore!"

Momotaros snorted. "Yeah, that's what you said the last time. And the time before that, and the time before that, and the time before-"

"We aren't saying you're responsible," Urataros interjected.

"I am!" Momotaros said loudly.

"But you can't deny there are some rather disturbing similarities between this and your own adventures. Not to mention that it's been about 10 years since your debut, and you first appeared as the tenth Heisei Rider. It's a bit too much to be a coincidence," Urataros pointed out. "Please, if there's anything you know that could be of help to us, it's in your own best interest to assist us. You're a Heisei Rider as well, meaning it's only a matter of time before this thief comes after you."

"Be that as it may, I honestly don't know what's going on," Tsukasa said apologetically. "I'm sorry, guys. I got nothing. Have you checked with Kaito? Not only is he also a Rider who can take the form of other Riders, but he's a thief. This kind of sounds like the sort of thing he would do."

"Oh, we already asked him," Urataros said dismissively. "He said he didn't do it, so we let him go."

"… Are you… Are you kidding me?!" Tsukasa screamed in disbelief. "You believe him over me?!"

"Yeah, he seems like a pretty trustworthy guy," Momotaros said.

"Trustworthy – – he's a thief! He tried to kill every Rider and every Sentai once with a giant robot!" Tsukasa protested.

"Yes, one time," Urataros pointed out. "Whereas you have tried to destroy the multiverse… How many times, exactly?"

"They were all for good reasons!" Tsukasa argued, realizing how lame that sounded the minute he opened his mouth. "… I'm not helping my case, am I?"

Urataros shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

Momotaros glanced at Urataros. "He's not talking, Turtle-Boy. I think we're going to have to bring in the bad cop."

Urataros sighed. "Oh, very well. I suppose so."

Tsukasa blinked. "Wait, bad cop? I thought Momotaros was the bad cop!"

Momotaros laughed. "Ha ! No, _I'm_ the good cop!"

"Then what's Urataros?" Asked the confused Tsukasa.

"The cop who secretly believes you're a lying piece of garbage who's pretending to be friendly to trick you into dropping your guard and spilling something we can use so we can throw you in time jail," Urataros said smugly.

"But… Then who is the bad cop?" Tsukasa asked, dumbfounded.

Suddenly, a yellow and black monster somewhat resembling a sumo wrestling bear slammed his fist on the table, snapping it in two. " **MY STRENGTH WILL MAKE YOU CRY!"** He roared into Tsukasa's face, knocking him out of his chair in surprise and fright.

"Oh, and we can't forget the funky cop," Urataros spoke up.

A purple monster vaguely resembling a Dragon with rather long hair entered the room accompanied by a posse, who all started breakdancing as hip-hop music started playing. "Mind if I cut in? I can't hear your answer!"

"Or the motherly cop!" Momotaros added.

A monster vaguely resembling a ninja Tengu wearing an apron appeared besides Tsukasa, holding out a platter of food. "Let me say this to start… Would you like some shiitake?"

"I… No, that's okay," Tsukasa stammered, utterly confused.

"Oh…" the monster said, pouting and looking so disheartened Tsukasa very nearly changed his mind.

"Or the delusional cop!" Urataros said next.

A monster vaguely resembling an angelic Swan entered the room dramatically, accompanied by swirling white feathers. "Advent! Kneel down to me!"

"And last but not least, the straight cop!" Momotaros declared, indicating a blue monster somewhat resembling himself that did not look like he wanted to be here.

"I'm gay," the monster said bluntly.

"He meant 'straight' as in the straight man, not that you were heterosexual," Urataros clarified.

"And we're both very happy for you and the Bear," Momotaros added quickly.

"Hmmph," the monster grunted.

"… What the hell is going on?!" Tsukasa yelled as Kintaros threw tissues all over the place while rambling about people crying, Ryuutaros and his backup dancers danced aggressively at him, Sieg kept trying to make everyone in the room bow to him, and Teddy just leaned against the wall looking irritated with everyone. "What sort of interrogation is this?!"

"One designed to drive you to the brink of madness, until you finally snap and tell us everything you know," Urataros crooned into one ear, stroking his cheek as if they were lovers.

"Give in! Embrace the insanity! It's pointless to resist! Gyahahahaha!" Momotaros laughed into the other ear, poking his cheek incessantly.

As Tsukasa started sobbing, Reiji Kurosaki, head of the G Men time police, stared in disbelief from the other side of the one-way window looking into the interrogation room. "I… Honestly don't know whether or not this counts as torture," he said slowly. "I'm fairly certain it violates several treaties, conventions, and accords."

"Oh, it's not that bad," Ryotaro Nogami said from beside the time cop. "This is basically every day of my life." Reiji stared at him in disbelief, and then slowly put a hand on his shoulder in sympathy. "Do you really think he did it?"

"Probably not," Reiji confessed. "But I'm hoping he might be able to help us catch whoever's doing this, and I'm fairly certain there are a number of other offenses I can book him on."

"I hope we can catch whichever Rider is behind this soon," Ryotaro said in concern. "He's causing my friends and me a lot of trouble, and I'm not even sure he's _aware_ of it."

"Someone who can change history on this scale is no foe to be taken lightly," Reiji said gravely. "Whoever it is maybe one of the most powerful and dangerous adversaries we have ever faced. I shudder to imagine what sort of depraved individual is responsible for temporal atrocities of this magnitude."

…

Sougo Tokiwa sneezed. "Bless you," his guide from the future, Tsukuyomi, said, handing him a handkerchief.

"Thanks," Sougo said, only for the handkerchief to be snatched from his hands by his sort of rival from the future, Geiz Myoukouin.

"Don't give him that, Tsukuyomi!" Geiz hissed. "He's the Demon King, he doesn't deserve such kindness!"

"He isn't the Demon King _yet_ , Geiz, and for all you know, maybe he'll turn evil because no one ever did anything as nice for him as offering him a handkerchief!" Tsukuyomi retorted. Geiz raised an eyebrow. "… Okay, I admit that's a bit of a reach, but still. No need to be impolite."

Oblivious to their argument, Sougo had a taste of the takoyaki they just ordered. His eyes widened in delight. "Mmm…MMM! This is really good!" He said excitedly. "When I become King, I'll make you my Royal Chef!" He declared, pointing to the young man who'd sold them the food.

The young man manning the takoyaki stand gave him an icy look. "I'm the Emperor of an entire parallel dimension. If I were to be your Royal Chef, that would have to mean you had conquered my home and enslaved me. Was that a threat?"

"Wh-what? No, of course not!" Sougo stammered in surprise. "I didn't know you were an Emperor!"

"Wait, if you're an Emperor of another dimension, why are you running a takoyaki stand?" Asked the confused Geiz.

The young man, Alain, shrugged. "Everyone needs a hobby."

"And your hobby is making takoyaki?" Asked the confused Sougo.

Alain's expression hardened. "Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

"N-no, of course not, I-I didn't mean-" Sougo stammered.

"'And so, unbeknownst to the overlord, the seeds were sown for the future enmity between the Demon King Oma Zi-Oh and Emperor Necrom of Ganma World, ushering forth a war which would devastate both worlds,'" a robed man hammily declared as he appeared from out of nowhere, reading from a book labeled the Twilight Chronicle (not that _Twilight_ , thankfully).

"Wait, what?!" Both Sougo and Alain said in alarm.

" _Now_ can I kill him?" Geiz pleaded. Tsukuyomi groaned and facepalmed.

…

"Hell, while we're at it, why not drag the Gokaigers and Kyurangers into this!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD ranted.

…

Captain Marvelous sneezed. Lucky would have as well, except that he was in too much pain, crucified above an altar as blood from numerous ritualistic cuts poured into channels engraved in the stone beneath him, mixing with blood flowing from a much older man crucified opposite him, Retsu Ichijouji, the original Space Sheriff Gavan. As the blood swirled together in the center of the carving, the emblem of the Genmaku society, the liquid darkened, as did the skies above, red clouds swirling together into an increasingly black vortex. Suspended in the air between the swirling clouds and the swirling blood hung the cepholapodian figure of Madako of Crystakoskull, her heavily scarred body bound in electrified chains with numerous iron thorns piercing her skin, blood oozing from an alarming number of gashes and wounds, twitching and sobbing, a look of unspeakable agony and despair on her face. The wicked Witch Kiba and Spectral Empress Illiess waved their scepters above the congealing blood, chanting foul incantations under their breaths.

At the foot of the altar, Captain Marvelous valiantly fought alongside Retsu's successor, Space Sheriff Gavan Type-G, Geki Jumonji against an army of mechanical Gavan Bootlegs led by the gold-armored Brighton and the Crimson-armored San Dorva. Further out, the Kyurangers, Gokaigers, and the rest of Space Squad were frantically battling against the forces of Genmaku, a horde of soldiers and monsters from various defeated space-based evil organizations. The heroes were winning, but just barely.

"Toya, this has to stop!" Geki insisted as he desperately tried to defend himself from his former friend, his arms shaking from all the blows he'd managed to parry with his Laser Blade (which, despite the name, wasn't actually an energy sword). "You have no idea what you're doing!"

"Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing," Brighton sneered as he swung his sword with enough power to shatter a mountain, Geki barely deflecting the blow before it could take off his head. "Thanks to Genmaku, Don Horror shall return, stronger than ever!"

"They're not just trying to bring back Don Horror, you idiot," Marvelous snarled as he clashed blades with San Dorva, casually firing his Gokai Gun over his shoulder and getting a headshot on a robot that had been trying to run him through from behind. "They're _also_ bringing back that Space Shogun Don Armage! And really, we already have a Don of our own, don't you think three will make it confusing?"

"Yeah, I don't want to wind up in one of those situations where someone yells 'Don!' And I go, 'Yeah, what is it?' But then it turns out they were talking about one of the other two," Don Dogoier, Gokai Green, commented as he accidentally tripped over his own foot and fell to the ground just before a robot could cut his head off, quickly firing his blast repeatedly into the machine's crotch until it exploded.

"I don't really think that's going to be a problem," Luka Millfy, Gokai Yellow, commented, blasting a robot behind Don through the chest as her teammate staggered to his feet.

"Nobody could ever confuse you for those Dons," Ahim de Famille, Gokai Pink, said sweetly as she riddled half a dozen robots with gunshots.

"Yeah, though things might start getting a little weird if they also bring back Don Dolnero," Gai Ikari, Gokai Silver, commented as he hurled his spear, piercing three robots in a row.

"Just how many Dons are there?" Joe Gibken, Gokai Blue, commented as he fought a dozen robots at once, with three swords in each hand.

"Just those three, I think, though Don Dolnero isn't anywhere on the same level as the other two," Gai commented as he reclaimed his spear.

"Are you lot seriously joking about this?! This is serious!" Stinger, Scorpius Orange, snapped, his stinger tail lashing out to poison and kill a dozen Indaver's while he thrust his Unicorn Arm drill through the chest of a revived monster so obscure that only Gai recognized it.

"Lucky is dying! Oh, and that other guy!" Garu, Lupus Blue, snarled as he frantically tore through wave after wave of minions to try and reach the altar and rescue his best friend, who he totally wasn't in love with, since he was already married and had a kid and everything.

"I should hope they die!" San Dorva cackled as he stepped back and fired energy blasts from his scepter at Marvelous, which the pirate captain easily deflected. "While the ceremony doesn't necessarily call for their deaths, I'm sure it wouldn't be unwelcome if they were to bleed to death… Then again, I do hope they manage to hold out a little longer, my father will be so happy to finally get the chance to crush his nemesis once and for all!"

"We'll kill him again before he gets the chance," Geki snarled, unleashing a blow that sent Brighton staggering back. "This won't be the first ritual to revive Don Horror I've crashed, after all!"

"But it will be your last," Brighton replied, swinging his sword through the air and flinging out an energy blade that knocked Geki back. "By reincarnating both Don Horror and Don Armage into one body, they shall be reborn as a single being of unparalleled might… With Madako's flesh, they will be immortal, regenerating from any wound. With the blood of the men who slew them coursing through their veins, they will be invulnerable, no Metal Hero or Sentai able to strike them down. The universe shall quake before their unspeakable power."

Tsurugi Ohtori whistled as he cut down another robot. "Defeating a monster like that would certainly be worthy of my legend."

"Let's try and stop the ritual before it gets that far, maybe?" Kotaro Sakuma, Ursa Minor Sky-blue (currently Ursa _Major_ Sky Blue) grunted as he grappled with a gargantuan Deathworm.

Gai shook his head while blocking a chop from a robot. "Nah,, never gonna happen. Rituals to revive dead bad guys always work despite the best efforts of the good guys… Well, except that one time where Genjifuian Kazakku and Trinoid 0 Saunanaginn tried to revive the Wicked Life God Dezumozorlya , but got AbareKiller instead. They probably would've succeeded if they'd worded the spell properly, though. And the time the Kyoryugers of the present and future teamed up to stop Regretful Knight Arslevan from reviving Transcendenterfly God Deboss a few months ahead of schedule. And… Okay, maybe not _every_ time, but most of the time, for sure!"

"Let's hope this is one of the times where it's not, then," Commander Xiao Longbao, Draco Commander, commented as he blasted away at his enemies with his cane gun.

"Should you really be down here, Commander? It would be extraordinarily inconvenient for us if your back were to give out at a crucial moment," Naga Ray, Ophiuchus Silver (currently in his Metal form) commented as he used his long scarf to strangle some of his opponents.

"Relax, I'm wearing a back brace this time!" Xiao bragged. "… No, wait, I left it on the ship. AAAAHHH, MY BACK!" He collapsed to the ground, howling in pain, much to the bewilderment of his opponents.

His team sighed. "Yeah, saw that coming from a mile away," grunted Champ, Taurus Black, who was currently in a body count competition with Black Knight Hyuuga of the Gingamen.

"That never happens to _our_ Commander," bragged Koume "Umeko" Enari, DekaPink as she exchanged gunshots with some Igaroids.

"You know, I actually know a pretty good doctor that might help, he fixed a backbone problem that caused me to miss one in every 2000 strikes, so now my fighting style is more or less completely flawless," offered Anubian Chief Doggie "Boss" Kruger, the legendary Guard Dog of Hell DekaMaster as he easily cut down his five thousandth opponent in under a minute, not even close to his all-time best record.

…

Yukito Sanjou sneezed-

"No I didn't."

Yes you did, I just wrote that you did.

"I'm in the middle of a delicate operation, I can't afford a sneeze right now. Do you _want_ someone to get paralyzed from the neck down?"

Well, no-

"Then I'll ask you to kindly leave me alone so I can get back to ensuring my patient can walk again."

Right, sorry, won't happen again.

…

"Umm, Umeko?" Space Sheriff Shelley said, changing back from a parakeet after having pecked some Crushers to death. "I'm not sure if this is the right time to bring it up, but… Why exactly are you carrying a baby on your chest?"

Umeko glanced down at the infant dangling from a harness on her chest, which looked as if it was having the time of its life. "Well, where else would I put him? We're in the middle of a warzone, I can't very well park him in a stroller somewhere, someone might step on him by accident or something!"

"… Did it ever occur to you to maybe _not_ bring a baby into a warzone?!" The incredulous Space Sheriff Tammy asked as she ripped the head off a Yartot.

"Well, I couldn't exactly leave him at home all by himself!" Umeko protested, scoring a headshot on an Igaroid.

"Why didn't you get a sitter?!" Raptor 283, Aquila Pink, demanded as she attempted to snipe one of the witches from a distance using the aid of the Telescopium Kyutama, only for her shot to be deflected by a mystical barrier.

"Do you have any idea how much those things cost?! I can't afford that on a regular basis on a policewoman's salary!" Umeko said indignantly, ducking a swipe from an Alienizer she was pretty sure she'd permanently deleted a while back and fired her blaster into its chin point-blank, killing it again.

"Are you seriously okay with her bringing your kid here?!" A disbelieving Shu Karasuma, Space Sheriff Shaider, asked Umeko's husband, Senichiri "Sen-chan" Enari as they double teamed Guts Doubler and cut him in two.

Sen-Chan shrugged as he did a handstand and fired several shots into an approaching Gavan Bootleg. "Jasmine took her kid into battle all the time when he was an infant, and he seems to be turning out fine."

"That's right, he is," agreed Marika "Jasmine" Hiwatari as she punched a Soldier Miraclers' head in with her D-Knuckle.

"… That seems tremendously irresponsible," said the dumbfounded Raptor.

"Speaking of irresponsible, WHY AREN'T WE SAVING LUCKY?!" Garu howled.

"Or Retsu," Gai reminded helpfully.

"OR THAT GUY!" Garu shouted.

At that moment, Hammy, Chameleon Green, and Touma Amagi, 36th head of the Tokagure school Jiraiya, appeared on the altar, having used their ninja skills to sneak past the legions of evildoers and protective spells. "Oh, Lucky, what have they done to you?" Hammy cried in dismay, seeing the bloody mess Genmaku had reduced him to.

Lucky's eyes flickered. "H-Hammy?"

"Shh, don't say anything," Hammy said gently, drawing her rapier. "You've saved me so many times in the past. Let me return the favor for a change."

Touma shook his head in dismay upon seeing the sorry state Retsu was in. "You deserve better than this, Gavan," he said sadly. He drew his Optical-magnetized Light Vacuum Sword (boy, that's a mouthful). "Don't worry, you'll be back in fighting shape in no time."

The two ninjas quickly cut down their friends while their comrades continued fighting and the witches, taking no notice of anything, continued their spellcasting. Rather worryingly, removing the source of the blood pouring into the carvings didn't seem to be affecting the churning tempest above them one bit. If anything, it seemed to be picking up.

"Kyu…Kyuranger…" A weak, broken voice rasped as the ninjas carefully carried their heavily injured friends towards the edge of the altar. "Help… Help… Please…"

Hammy shot a furious look at the tortured octopus woman dangling above them. "And why should I do that, Madako? After everything you've done to us? After what your friends did to Lucky?!"

"Not… My… Idea…" Madako gasped. "Didn't… Want this… Said they'd… Make me… Stronger… Not like this… _Not… Like… This_ …"

Hammy bristled. "Well, it serves you right! You'd think you'd learn after helping your Shogun try to destroy the entire universe, but it doesn't seem as if that taught you anything!"

"Didn't want…that…either…" Madako choked.

"Hammy, we should help her," Touma said.

"What?! Are you serious?!" Hammy demanded, outraged. "After everything they've done to Lucky?!"

"From the looks of things, she may be as much a victim of this as Lucky," Touma argued. "From a practical standpoint, it,s the right choice, because they need her as the vessel for the revival of the Dons. No vessel, no revival. And aside from that… As a savior of the universe, can you truly turn your back on someone in need, even if she was an enemy?"

"… Dammit, you're right. All right, Madako, we'll get you down," Hammy said grudgingly. "But after this, we're going to have a very long talk."

"Thank… You-"

The octopus assassin was cut off when a bolt of pure darkness shot down from the sky at the same time as the boiling blood pooled in the altar shot upwards in a crimson geyser, both enveloping Madako at the same time, her howls of soul-rending agony echoing across the plains.

"You are too late, heroes," Witch Kiba sneered, turning to face the alarmed Hammy and Touma.

Spectral Empress Illiess cackled. "Our spell is complete. The vessel is ready. Behold, the revival of two of the most powerful beings in creation! A glorious fusion of Dons Horror and Armage! A being of unspeakable evil, who shall unleash chaos and destruction across all worlds! For Founder Fumein!"

"For Founder Fumein!" Echoed every member of Genmaku, making the cult's unholy sign with their hands.

"Uh-oh," the other Don said.

"Called it," Gai said, not looking too happy that he'd been correct.

"No! No! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Madako shrieked from within the intertwined pillar of blood and darkness. "Help me, please! I promise I'll change my ways, I'll give up evil forever, I'll do anything, just please… Stop… This…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!"

Her body exploded, chunks of flesh and blood and tentacle splattering all over the place. The blood and darkness collapsed inward to fill the void left behind by her body, coalescing and hardening into an immense, grotesque shell. Cracks started forming on the mottled red and black surface, and with a sound not dissimilar from the howling of a trillion damned souls, it shattered, a massive shockwave of dark energy blasting outwards, annihilating the weaker cultists and flinging the heroes back, knocking them out of henshin.

"Okay, as far as evil shockwaves go, that was a pretty bad one," groaned the Space Wolf Juspion as he struggled to pick himself back up.

"I'd give it a nine out of 10," grunted Banban "Ban" Akiza, DekaRed.

"It was certainly in the upper percentile of evil shockwaves," agreed Swan Shiratori, DekaSwan.

Marvelous glanced up and groaned. "Oh, great. What fresh hell is this now?"

Brighton knelt before the colossal figure descending towards them. "It is done. At long last, he has returned to us… The unstoppable, indomitable, Don Hormage!"

"Daddy's home!" San Dorva cried ecstatically.

"Welcome back, darling," Witch Kiba cooed up to the monstrous figure as it landed on the altar. It resembled Don Armage in his complete final form, but looked to be made of stone with a face resembling Don Horror's, six arms, and the Genmaku emblem in place of Jark Matter's. "How do you feel?"

"As if I could tear the universe to pieces with my bare hands," the monolithic monstrosity growled, his voice a mix of Don Horror's and Don Armage's. "And I think I shall begin with the insolent fools who killed me… _Both_ of me… In the past," he intoned, slowly turning to face Hammy and Touma, who were shielding Lucky and Retsu. "And after that, I shall slay _all_ Super Sentai and Metal Heroes… And after that… I think I'm going to need to get _creative_ …"

"No!" Geki cried.

"Shit. Team, looks like it's time for us to test out those new toys Gai and Don whipped up," Marvelous declared.

"I just got here. I have whipped nothing up," remarked Don Hormage, sounding slightly confused.

"Not you, the other… See, this is what I was talking about!" Marvelous complained.

"Are you sure, Captain? We haven't finished testing it yet," said the worried Don (the Gokaiger, not the monster, just to be clear).

"Now is as good a time as any," Joe pointed out.

In unison, the six Gokaigers whipped out their cell phone transformation devices and pressed a button on their belt buckles, causing them to revolving reveal Ranger Keys… But there seemed to be something different about these keys, something more potent and palpable, not resembling any Ranger anyone was familiar with...and at the same time, resembling _every_ Ranger. Marvelous regarded his key, feeling as if the person it embodied was staring back at him. "Let's hope this works, AkaRed… Alright, pirates! Like we practiced! **RANGER KEY, SET**!"

As one, the pirates inserted their keys into their phones. " **GOKAI CHANGE!"**

Every other Ranger present, as well as every Ranger out in the wider universe, felt a strange sensation. As if someone out there needed their help, to borrow just a bit of their power. Naturally, they allowed it. What kind of Ranger would do otherwise?

" **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL RANGERS!"**

Beams of red, blue, yellow, green, pink, and silver shot down from the heavens, enveloping the six Pirates. As they cried out in exultation, unfathomable energy flowing through them, the light hardened into armor resembling Gai's Gold Mode, only color-coded for each pirate and bearing the faces of not fifteen, but _every_ Ranger of their particular color, with Gai getting all the sixth and extra Rangers.

"Gokai Red/Blue/Yellow/Green/Pink All-Red/Blue/Yellow/Green/Pink Mode!" Marvelous, Joe, Luka, Don, and Ahim shouted.

" _Super_ Gooooooooooookai…Silver!" Gai added.

"Kaizoku Sentai!" Marvelous cried.

"GOKAIGER!" All of them shouted, posing as color-coded explosions erupted behind them.

"Oh, wow," said an awestruck Kotaro.

"They're so shiny!" Balance, Libra Gold, gushed.

Umeko's child clapped, giggling happily.

"...Why do _we_ never get power-ups that cool?" Shu complained.

Don Hormage laughed and beckoned with all six limbs. "I don't care if it's six Sentai or all of them, I'll take you all on! Come at me if you dare!"

"Oh, we dare!" Gai taunted.

"We've crushed cosmic emperors scarier than you, and we'll do so again!" Luka bragged.

"There's only room for one Don around here, and that's me!" Don declared.

Luka cackled. "Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

"Be sure to be careful, everyone, we don't want to get badly hurt," Ahim urged motheringly. "Don Hormage, on the other hand..."

Marvelous raised his sword. "Gokaigers! Let's make a show of it!"

Shouting battle cries which rallied their allies, who pulled themselves back to their feet and prepared to join them, the Pirates charged towards the looming Don Hormage…

 _ **SUUUUUUUUPER SENTAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!**_

…

"Or maybe even-" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD started.

"Hey, can you shut up already? I want to see the fight!" Nico interjected.

"INSOLENCE!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked. Everyone ignored him.

"Did it feel like an awfully long amount of time has passed to anyone else?" Asked a puzzled Parad.

"No," Hiiro said.

…

"Well, this is unexpected. What are you six doing here?" Asked the surprised Kiriya.

"To paraphrase our friend, Tsukasa, we were just passing through," Takeru explained.

…

In the interrogation room, Tsukasa sneezed and cried as the Imagin continued to drive him insane. It was kind of gross.

"Should we…" Ryotaro asked uneasily.

"Not yet," Reiji said.

…

"And thought we'd lend a hand!" Kotoha said cheerfully. "If that's okay with you, that is."

"…Eh, why not? I love a good team up as much as the next guy," Kiriya said with a shrug.

"Then here. Take this," Kaoru said, producing a disk. Kanji poured into it, turning it a variety of colors. "A gift from the Shiba clan." She threw it at Kiriya.

The Rider caught it, and with a flash of kanji, it transformed into a Gashat. "Oh, neat!" He said n excitement. "Haven't gotten a new power up in a while."

" _I did not authorize this Gashat!"_ Motors' belt shrieked.

"Nobody cares!" Kiriya yelled at him. He ejected Proto Giri Giri Chambara-

 _ **CLICK TO SAVE!**_

And pulled the trigger on his new Gashat.

 _ **ORIGAMI SAMURAI SHINKENGER!**_

"Gear blast! Level up!" He inserted the Gashat into his Driver.

 _ **CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! MOJI-MOJI-MOJIKAAAAAARA! GOING FORTH! ORIGAMI SAMURAI SHINKENGEEEEEEEEEER!"**_

As the start screen for the new game appeared behind him, six small colored shapes, each bearing a separate kanji, emerged from his chest as a holographic screen was projected from his Driver and passed over him, slamming onto his body in colorful flashes of light and kanji. His new armor was similar to his level III and X forms, but with a new color scheme and design; his chest armor was now red and gold with a Pentagon and lion motif, his left leg was blue with a hexagon and Dragon motif, his right arm pink with a circular and turtle motif, his right leg green with a square and bear motif, his left arm yellow, with a triangle and monkey motif, and his helmet was gold with a lobster motif. He was now in his new Samurai Gamer form!

"… Okay, this is pretty cool," Kiriya commented, examining himself.

 _ **GASHACON ZANBATO**_!

A gargantuan zanbato resembling the Two-Mode Transforming Rekka Daizantou only matching Kiriya's new color scheme with large A and B buttons grafted onto the side materialized in his right hand in a flurry of pixels and kanji. "And this is even better!"

…

"I think his sword is even bigger than yours," Taiga commented to Hiiro as Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD made hilarious choking sounds in the background.

"It's not the size that matters, but what you do with it," Hiiro said calmly.

Nico giggled. Emu sighed. "Really?"

…

Kiriya swiped his new sword through the air a few times to test out. "So, Motors, why don't we see which of us is the better samurai, huh?"

"I'm pretty sure it's us," Chiaki spoke up. "Since we've got more experience and all."

"When I said 'us,' I was referring to Motors and myself," Kiriya clarified.

"Oh," Chiaki said.

Motors whimpered. "Why do I have the strong feeling the answer is going to be 'not me?'"

" _That's quitter talk! Don't say things with such a defeatist attitude!"_ His belt barked.

"Seriously? Do you _really_ think I have a chance of winning?" Motors asked incredulously, gesturing at the 10 heroes arrayed against him. "Have I _ever_?!"

" _You have an army of minions!"_ The belt argued.

"And has _any_ minion, even in a massive army, _ever_ defeated a Ranger, Rider, or other assorted hero?" Motors demanded.

" _Well…uh… I'll get back to you on that…"_ His belt muttered.

Motors gulped as the eight samurai and two Riders with a Gashapon theme charged towards him and his army. "This is going to suck." With a weary sigh, he raised a sword. "Chaaaaaaaaaarge!"

His Bugster minions shrieked, raising their blades and charging towards the heroes, beginning the battle.

Date revved up his motorcycle and drove right into the throng of the enemy samurai, catching one of them on the front, and dragging it along with him as he recklessly rode over many of its peers. The hapless samurai flailed around desperately, trying to strike the Rider with its blade, but Date blasted it in the head, then backflipped off of his bike, firing a blast at its gas tank once it was a safe distance away and detonating it, destroying it and wiping out several other Bugsters.

Before the samurai could recover, he inserted a Cell Medal into his Driver and twisted the handle.

 _ **CRANE ARM!**_

The Receptacle Orb on his right shoulder opened up, machine parts flying out of it and assembling into a large winch covering up his right arm. Pointing his arm at one of the Bugsters, he fired, the hook shooting out to wrap around the samurai. As it squealed in alarm, Date bodily flung it around, using it as a flail to bowl over its comrades, sweeping it around and around to clear out everything within range.

Rather than charging in and getting hit by his makeshift weapon, the surrounding Bugsters withdrew, took out bows, and notched arrows. Date quickly retracted his winch just before they could fire, using his Bugster prisoner as a shield to take the projectiles, then flung it away before it disintegrated and fired his hook upwards, latching onto a nearby rooftop. Launching himself in the air, he swung around on his grapple, firing his Birth Buster downwards and blasting as many Bugsters as he could. When he decided he'd had enough, he released his winch and inserted another medal into his belt.

 _ **BREAST CANNON!**_

His Springer Haken came apart, its parts flowing back into his shoulder, and the Receptacle Orb on his chest opened up, releasing machinery which constructed a massive cannon onto his chest. Realizing what was coming, the samurai on the ground panicked and tried to run away, but to no avail, as Date charged up and fired the Salamander Launcher into their midst, obliterating all them in a tremendous explosion.

Landing, he laughed and turned to face the next wave of terrified Bugsters. "Who else wants some?"

As Goto flew through the air, firing his own Salamander Launcher periodically at the ground, the Bugsters below frantically fired arrows at him in a desperate attempt to knock him out of the skies. When he started coming down, they thought for a moment that they'd succeeded… Only to realize to their dismay that he was descending of his own volition, thrusting his Brighton Bit into the ground with enough power to send fissures zigzagging across the street, shattering it and flinging Bugsters back.

As more samurai rushed in to avenge their deceased comrades, Goto's Haze Crawlers revved up, and he shot out of the crater he'd formed, his tank treads allowing him to move over the rough terrain with ease, executing heavy kicks and grinds on the nearest samurai. As he dashed all over the place, he lowered his Vermillion Bucket, catching one of the broken pieces of street and flipping it over, the massive chunk of asphalt crushing the Bugsters that had been foolish enough to stand on it.

A daring Bugster jumped into the air, trying to bring its sword down on Goto's head, but he caught it in his shovel, then thrust his drill forward, piercing the Bugster in the chest. He then fired his winch, flinging both drill and Bugster way, the drillbit spinning and turning the screaming Bugster into a whirling dervish as Goto mimicked his mentor and used the poor mook as a weapon to bash his cohorts apart. When he decided the Bugster had enough, he flung it into the air, and then slammed him back down with a tremendous impact, destroying the samurai and several of its fellows.

This did not seem to deter the Bugsters, however, and many more came charging at him. Goto chuckled darkly. "They never learn, do they?" He asked rhetorically. His wings hissed mechanically and launched off his back, the Solent Edges whirling through the air like a giant boomerang and slicing through at least a dozen samurai. As the giant blade continued spinning, he used his shovel to tear up a part of the ground and fired his winch into it, the drill burrowing through the asphalt and erupting several meters away, sending all the Bugsters standing around it flying.

As his wings reattached to his back and he retracted his drill, he charged up energy into his cannon and fired a powerful Cell Burst using energy from all of his CLAWs, annihilating the lot of them. "Happy birthday," he said darkly.

Unsurprisingly, the Bugsters weren't faring too well against the Shinkengers, either. "You call yourselves samurai?" Ryuunosuke asked scornfully, cutting through one of the samurai's swords before cutting the warrior itself in two. "Disgraceful!"

"Yeah, have you guys even trained?" Chiaki asked distastefully as he casually fended off five Bugsters one-handed. "I was better than this starting out, and I had like _no_ training before that!"

"We've fought Nanashi tougher than this!" Mako remarked, parrying a blow from a Bugster, driving her sword to its chest, then whipping around to cut down the samurai that had been about to attack her from behind.

"Well, to be fair, some Nanashi _are_ very big," Kotoha pointed out as she ducked down to avoid attacks from all sides, the Bugsters getting their blades locked against each other and allowing her to cut their feet out from under them. "And then there's the giant flying ones, and the giant ones with big cannons, and the regular-sized ones with rifles… Kind of funny how we never fought those again…"

"And then there's the Nanashi that got its hands on the Inromaru and became a Super Nanashi that one time," Genta recalled, drawing his blade, sweeping it through the air, swiping it off, then putting it back into its sheath. There was a pause, and then a dozen Bugsters fell to pieces.

Everyone started and glanced at him in surprise. "Wait, what?!" Chiaki cried, startled, and nearly failed to block a blow that could've taken his head off.

"WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!" Ryuunosuke shouted, his voice so loud it stunned the nearby Bugsters.

Genta stiffened. _Oh crap, shouldn't have opened my mouth…_ "Guys, I cannot tell a lie, which is why it burdens my heart tell you… It was Takeru's fault, he let a Nanashi into the mansion one time because it claimed it wanted to turn its life around, and he totally believed it even though I told him not to, then it stabbed him in the back (not literally, thankfully) and stole the Inromaru, and we killed it together to take it back, and Takeru made me promise not to tell anyone about it because he thought the whole thing was kind of embarrassing."

Kotoha gasped. "Oh no! Poor Takeru…"

"Wait… That doesn't sound right… Takeru isn't that trusting," Mako said suspiciously.

Ryuunosuke nodded fervently. "There's no way our Lord would ever do something so foolish!"

"Well, that's totally what happened, but you should never ask Takeru about it, because it was really embarrassing, and he doesn't ever want to be reminded of it again, honest," Genta said quickly.

Genta's support robot, the Secret Lantern DaiGoyo, popped up. "Wait a second, I think I remember that incident, weren't you the one who-"

"DaiGoyo! Just who I was looking for!" Genta yelled loudly, grabbing the lantern and holding it before him just time to use him as a shield to deflect an arrow being fired at him from a Bugster. "Come on, buddy, let's get them!" He shouted, rapid firing Secret Disks at the samurai.

"I wasn't finished!" DaiGoyo protested, only to be ignored.

"We'll continue this discussion later," Ryuunosuke decided, producing a disk, placing it in his katana, and spinning it. "Water Arrow!" Water flowed up the blade, transforming it into a longbow.

His teammates put disks onto their blades as well. "Heaven Fan!/Wood Spear!/Land Slicer!" They declared as elemental power engulfed their swords, transforming them into a fan, a yari, and a giant three-bladed Shuriken that seemed like the sort of thing the Ninningers might want to use.

"Genta, get back here!" Mako yelled.

"Huh? Oh, right," Genta said, realizing what they were planning to do. "Here, take this," he said to a confused Bugster, handing him DaiGoyo.

"Hey, get back here! Don't leave me with this guy!" The lantern yelled as Genta ran back to the others, only to be ignored. "Sometimes, I really hate that guy…"

Genta rejoined the others, drawing his blade as all of them charged power into their weapons. "SAMURAI FLASH WAVE!" They shouted, releasing elemental power in unison, bombarding the Bugsters with water arrows, pink-hued bursts of wind, wooden spear jabs, yellow quakes, and sword beams made of light, deleting a massive swath of the viruses.

"Yosh! A clap of victory!" Genta declared, clapping.

"We only do that when we've beaten a giant monster," Kotoha said, confused.

"Kamen Rider monsters don't get big when they're defeated, this is pretty much the best chance for us to do it," Genta pointed out.

"Still seems a bit premature, considering we just wiped out a bunch of mooks," Chiaki pointed out.

"Are you sure this isn't to distract us from whatever DaiGoyo was trying to tell us?" Mako asked suspiciously.

"…Noooo…?" Genta said weakly.

"You mean that you're the one who let that Nanashi into the mansion and steal the Inromaru, not Takeru?" DaiGoyo spoke up from the hands of the Bugster Genta had left him with. "By the way, can we keep this guy? He holds me much more gently then Genta does."

"Dammit, DaiGoyo!" Genta hissed.

Kotoha gasped. "Genta!"

"I knew it!" Chiaki exclaimed.

"GENTA! How dare you slander our Lord like that?!" Ryuunosuke demanded furiously.

"Gee, thanks," Genta snarled at the lantern.

"You're welcome," DaiGoyo said smugly.

While this was going on, Takeru, Kaoru, and Kiriya were fighting Motors. The two red Rangers had changed into their Super and Hyper forms respectively, while Kiriya was enthusiastically trying out his new form. "This thing is amazing!" Kiriya gushed as he swung his new zanbato at Motors again and again, rapidly tapping the A button to cause more and more fire to envelop the massive blade, causing the Bugster to start sweating (possibly figuratively? Can Bugsters sweat?) as he desperately tried to parry and deflect the blows. "It doesn't even feel that heavy!"

"Yes, well, we can't all have armor that boosts our strength and automatically teaches us how to use our powers," Takeru commented as he assaulted Motors with his own zanbato, the Rekka Daizantou, pushing the Bugster back further with every fiery swing as Motors struggled to block the mighty blows with his katanas, his grip weakening with each consecutive strike. "Some of us spend years of training to master such weapons and abilities."

"Envy does not suit you, Takeru," Kaoru chided as she danced around with her blade, Motors struggling to fend off her and Takeru's attacks at the same time. "I thought you were taught better than this."

"My apologies, mother," Takeru said as he brought his sword down in an extremely powerful chop. Motors managed to catch the zanbato in his crossed blades, but Kiriya and Kaoru thrust their own swords forwards, stabbing Motors in the gut and flinging him back, Takeru's strike continuing and cutting a blazing scar down his chest. "You're correct, it is unbecoming of me."

"Wait, mother?" Said the confused Kiriya. "Isn't she just a little younger than you are?"

"I adopted him," Kaoru explained.

"… But… You're _younger_ than him," Kiriya repeated, confused.

"Yes, and I'm a Princess. What of it?" Kaoru asked.

"I… Okay," Kiriya stammered, deciding to let the subject drop.

" _Come on, you can put up a better fight than that!"_ Motors' belt chided him.

"I don't really think I can," the Bugster whimpered.

" _Then try_ harder _!"_ The belt shrieked.

"All right, geez!" With a battle cry, Motors charged energy into his blades and thrust them into the ground, sending chains of explosions zigzagging across the ground towards the three samurai. Kiriya and Takeru quickly used their massive blades as shields to take the brunt of the blasts, while Kaoru lithely dodged out of the way and thrust her sword forwards. Much to the surprise of Kiriya and Motors, the sword elongated and zigzagged through the air, rapidly encircling the startled Bugster and lashing out at him from all angles. "H-hey! Cut that out!" he cried in alarm, frantically, swinging his swords about to try and deflect the Kyoryumaru's head, which was actually trying to _bite_ him. What sort of sword did that?!

"Kiriya, follow my lead," Takeru ordered, putting a disk onto the side of his blade and spinning it, causing it to burst into flame.

"Sure thing," Kiriya said, rapidly pressing the A button to ignite his sword as well.

Both samurai jumped into the air, bringing their zanbatos down on Motors. The Bugster quickly raised his swords to block both of them, grunting in pain as he struggled to hold them back, only for the Kyoryumaru to dart in and bite him in the crotch. Howling in pain, his grip faltered, and the two samurai easily knocked his swords aside and brought their blades down on his chest in a blazing cross chop, following it up with a double stab into his gut that sent him flying, explosions bursting across his torso.

"U-ugh… This doesn't look good…" Motors moaned, clutching his crackling chest as the three samurai advanced.

" _I told you to try harder!"_ His belt whined.

"Oh, shut up already!" Motors snapped. His exhaust pipes started rumbling, and suddenly started spewing a massive cloud of smoke which rapidly engulfed all four combatants in a billowing mass of smog.

"Where did he go?!" Kiriya demanded, looking around frantically, unable to see anything in the smoke.

"Be on your guard! He's hiding somewhere in the smoke, no doubt planning to take advantage of our lowered visibility to attack us!" Takeru explained, looking around warily.

"A coward's trick. I would expect that sort of thing from a ninja, not a samurai!" Kaoru said scornfully.

"Hey, before I was a samurai, I was a racer from a game where anything goes!" Motors taunted from somewhere in the smoke. "So long as it gets you the win, who cares how you make it to the finish line?"

"While the pragmatist in me can't help but agree, I kind of wish you'd a bit more honorable in this instance," Kiriya grunted as he glanced around. "Certainly more convenient for me…" Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something moving behind him. With a ferocious cry, he quickly whirled around, bringing his zanbato to bear on the unseen figure, which quickly brought up their own sword to parry and return the blow. Sparks flew as the two of them clashed blades, briefly illuminating the gloomy space and revealing that the other swordsman was Takeru. "Oh! Takeru! Sorry, I thought…"

"No, I thought the same thing, that you were Motors. I apologize," Takeru said quickly, withdrawing his blade.

"But if you aren't Motors, where is…" Kiriya wondered, only for them to suddenly hear a feminine cry from somewhere else in the smog.

Takeru gasped. "Kaoru!"

"No, wait, don't –" Takeru ran off into the smoke and disappeared. "– Leave me by myself. Dammit. We really need to put thermal imaging into these things."

Cautiously, Kiriya headed off in the direction he thought Takeru had gone, weapon at the ready. When he saw a figure in the smoke ahead wielding a katana, he yelled, "Don't attack, it's me, Lazer Turbo!"

"Good!" Motors cackled, lashing out with his sword and striking Kiriya across the chest, knocking him back before disappearing back into the smoke, laughing evilly.

"Dammit!" Kiriya cursed, clutching his chest. "How are you able to even see in this? You don't have thermal imaging!… I think."

" _He doesn't, but I do!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD's voice echoed from somewhere in the smoke.

"Whatever happened to you not interfering anymore?" Kiriya asked.

" _We all know I was lying when I said that!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD taunted.

Kiriya heard movement behind him, and whirled around, bringing up his zanbato in time to clash swords with an unseen attacker. "I'm Lazer Turbo!" He yelled.

The other figure, Takeru, relaxed. "You can stand down, Kaoru!"

"Very well," Kaoru, whom Kiriya hadn't even heard behind him, said, withdrawing her sword from his spine.

They heard the Bugster laughing somewhere in the smoke. "Get back to back," Takeru commanded. "That way he can't sneak up on us."

"Who says I have to?" Motors asked. A projectile hurtled through the smoke towards them.

"It's a bomb!" Kiriya shouted, quickly, swinging his zanbato to bat the explosive back into the smog. It exploded somewhere in the distance, creating even more smoke. "Forgot he could do that."

Red energy blades shot through the smog towards Kaoru. Her sword zigzagged through the air, chomping through each projectile and causing them to dissipate before they could reach its mistress. More blades sliced through the smoke from all sides, along with bombs, and the three samurai had to rely on their quick reflexes to keep from being overwhelmed by the attacks. Their lack of visibility didn't help matters.

"We can't keep this up forever," Kiriya said in frustration.

"If Mako were with us, she could dissipate the smoke with her wind power. But she isn't, so I'm open to other ideas," Takeru said.

"I believe I have a solution," Kaoru said. She lashed out with her sword…

And Kyoryumaru curved sideways, going in a circle around them, and continuing on in a spiral gradually extending outwards.

"What are you… Oh, I see," Kiriya realized. "That's clever."

"Even though my mother isn't quite as experienced as the rest of us, she's no amateur," Takeru said proudly.

"So, just how much far does that thing extend, anyway?" Kiriya asked.

"We've never tested it," Takeru admitted. "If there is a limit, hopefully we won't reach it before we find-"

The sword jerked, and there was a yelp of pain from somewhere in the smoke. "I've got him!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"Excellent. Now let's put all that time fishing with Ryuunosuke to use and reel him in!" Takeru said in excitement.

Kaoru yanked on her sword, and the blade quickly retracted, Motors' wailing growing in volume as he was forcibly dragged towards them. Finally, he came into view, being pulled in winding circles by Kyoryumaru. "Get ready!" Kaoru cried.

They were. As Motors sped by them, Takeru and Kiriya lashed out with their zanbatos, smashing through his armor and tearing the exhaust pipes off of his back. Before the sword was fully retracted, Kaoru flicked Kyoryumaru, flinging the wailing Motors into the air. Takeru hopped onto Kiriya's shoulders and leaped into the air after the Bugster, bringing his sword down in a massive chop that knocked Motors back towards the ground, where Kiriya was waiting, swinging his sword with such might that Motors was blasted clear out of the smoke, slamming into the side of a building hard enough to crater it.

With Motors' exhaust pipes destroyed, the smoke cloud easily dissipated. "Phew! It's good to see the sunlight again," Kiriya commented. "Hope none of us get lung cancer or anything from all that smoke. As a medical examiner, let me tell you, it's a pretty nasty way to go."

"Our helmets should have protected us, I think," Kaoru said.

"A pity our opponent's armor could not do the same for them," Takeru remarked as Motors struggled to pull himself out of the crater. Much of his armor was cracked and broken, and static was crackling around him as bits of data flicked off.

"Ohhhh… This game isn't fun anymore… Can't I just call it quits?" Motors moaned.

" _No, you can't! Get them!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled.

"You have to realize at this point there's absolutely no way I can win, right?!" Motors demanded in exasperation.

" _If your death mildly inconveniences Kiriya Kujo in any way, I will be satisfied!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD declared.

"Gee, thanks, boss," Motors said bitterly. Growling, he drew his swords. "All right, I may be going down, but I'm gonna go down swinging!" Roaring furiously, he charged towards the samurai.

"Hang… On…" In Sendo panted as he ran into view, huffing and puffing, his body flickering fast as all of his physical exertion from literally running all the way from the Foundation to the battle helped accelerate his impending death. "Don't… Start… The fight… Without… Me… I'm… Here… To help… My…" He paused, taking note of the fight going on before him. "What the… What are those colorful samurai and detestable Rider coworkers of mine doing here? And… Wait a second… Those aren't Shocker Combatmen! Those are Bugsters _pretending_ to be Shocker Combatmen!"

" _Oh crap… uh… There's a perfectly good explanation_ -" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD began desperately.

"Yes, there is! You aren't Great Leader-Sama at all, but some charlatan pretending to be him!" Sendo shouted angrily. "And you used me to create a monster to fulfill your own vendetta against the Kamen Riders… _Again_!" He started shaking with fury, and he began growing more and more transparent.

"Oh, shit, the realization that he's been played all this time is making him more distressed!" Kiriya realized in alarm.

" _And the more distressed he gets… The better the chances are of him dying, and Motors becoming complete!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD enthused eagerly. _"Which will still count as a win for me, even if Motors is slain immediately afterwards!"_

"I'd rather not be slain, personally, if it's all the same to you," Motors said quickly.

" _You have no choice in this matter!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD bellowed.

"The master you serve is not a particularly good one," Takeru observed.

Motors sighed. "Tell me about it. I wonder if it's too late to become a Ronin…"

As the battle resumed, Sendo, almost completely gone, staggered and fell to his knees, looking skyward, arms outstretched. "Great Leader-Sama, your lowly servant has failed you again… Please, can you find it within yourself to forgive me for my unwitting betrayal?"

" _No_."

Sendo cringed. "Okay, yeah, I totally deserve… Wait, what?"

Something grabbed Sendo and hurled him bodily into a car hard enough to knock it onto its side. The something then roared and charged towards the group of heroes.

Kotoha froze in mid-swing of her Shuriken. "What… What the heck is that?"

"It… It almost looks like-" said a disbelieving Chiaki just before the creature lashed out with its claws, massive energy blades flying out and slicing through the remaining Viruses like a hot knife through butter, breaking through the Shinkengers' guard and flinging them back with such force that they were immediately knocked out of Henshin.

Takeru stiffened. "No!"

"What on earth is that thing?!" Exclaimed the startled Kaoru, bracing herself as the monster charged towards them.

"Whatever it is, it's not getting any further," Goto said as he swooped down, Date running over to join him.

"Wait a second… Goto, that belt… Is that what I think it is?" Date asked in surprise, noticing something on the creature's body.

"Belt? What are you… No! It can't-" Goto cried in alarm.

" _Out of my way, fools! This doesn't concern you… Not yet, anyway!"_ a voice roared from the creature's waist, firing a sweeping energy beam from its mouth that knocked both Riders back, shattering their CLAWs and knocking them out of Henshin.

"The creature is stronger than it looks," observed the startled Kaoru.

"And it looks pretty strange," Takeru added.

Kiriya shook his head. "If it's what I think it is, that's to be expected… Oh crap, it's coming towards us! Quick, out of the way!"

Neither of the red Rangers questioned him, all three samurai diving out of the way of the beast's charge as it ran past them, its claw swipes just missing them, and barreled into the startled Motors, impaling him through the chest on its claws and slamming him into a building hard enough to crater it. (Funny enough, it was right next to the other crater from before.)

As Motors choked, data welling up from where the beast's claws pierced his chest, the monster leaned close, its slavering mouth opening to reveal serrated fangs, which didn't really look like they belonged in the large duckbill sprouting from the front of the creature's ursine face. The monster's hirsute body was covered in shaggy brown fur covering rippling muscles, massive claws sprouting from the ends of its forearms, while its feet were webbed like a duck with sharp spurs jutting from the back of its ankles, and a long, thick tail resembling a beaver's sprouted from its backside. Wrapped around the thing's waist was a belt almost identical to the one Motors was wearing.

" _Kuroto Dan,"_ a deep, dark voice boomed from the belt. " _I would have words with you for infringing on my trademark."_

…

"…Oh, shit," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD whispered, eyes wide with horror.

"Is that… Is that who I think it is?!" A shocked Emu demanded.

"It is…" Satsuki whispered, eyes wide with awe and horror.

"Then… Then that's-" Parad stammered.

"Yes," said the shocked Taiga. "It's…"

…

"Great… Leader-Sama…" The battered Sendo wheezed from where he was slumped against the car he'd been thrown into.

...

 ** _To be continued..._**


	19. Boss Stage 5 and Question 17

"Great… Leader-Sama…" The battered Sendo wheezed from where he was slumped against the car he'd been thrown into.

 _"G-Great Leader! What… What a pleasant surprise,"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said nervously through the gurgling Motors' belt. _"I, ah, I didn't think you would show up for something as insignificant as this…"_

 _"You thought wrong, fool,"_ the Great Leader of Shocker snarled in reply. _"Normally I pay little attention to the petty schemes and insignificant attempts to kill Riders by lesser minds such as yours-"_

 _"Lesser?!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked.

 _"But when I heard that you created a monster you are passing off as a Shocker kaijin using one of_ my _underlings, pretending to be_ ME _?!"_ Great Leader roared furiously. _"That was unforgivable! Almost as great an insult as that preposterous costume you're wearing!"_

…

"Wait, he can see that?!" Emu said in alarm.

"I-impossible!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD protested. "There's no way anyone should be able to see us, let alone _me_ , in here!"

 _"IMBECILE! The Great Leader sees and knows all!"_ Great Leader bellowed, causing the room to tremble and the lights to flicker.

"I-I meant no offense, Great Leader-Sama!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said desperately. "I was… I was merely trying to emulate you, to demonstrate how much respect I have for you and your work, how much you've inspired me and other evildoers-"

 _"LIAR!"_ Great Leader shouted, causing a crack to suddenly zigzag across the stage. _"All who know you know that you respect no one but yourself! That you believe your own talents eclipse all who have come before you, and all who may come after!"_

"Well, I don't mean to brag, but I _am_ a genius-" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD began.

 _"A genius? Pah! I have employed minds far more brilliant than yours, and with less than half the ego, to boot!"_ Great Leader interrupted dismissively. _"It is no wonder I have never returned your calls to form an alliance. I prefer my team ups to be a bit more… Epic in scale."_

 _"… I can be epic!"_ Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD shrieked.

 _"Your current scheme involves using a quiz game to keep your nemesis from going on a date with one of your creations,"_ Great Leader pointed out flatly.

…

"I object to that!" Kiriya spoke up. "I'm pretty sure that if anyone's Kuroto's nemesis, it's me!"

 _"That's Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD! And yes, you are my nemesis. And no, you may not date Poppy either!"_

"Wouldn't dream of it. She's always been Emu's girl, not me," Kiriya said with a shrug. "Bros don't steal other bro's ladies."

…

"I thought I was your bro," Parad complained.

"I can have more than one bro," Emu said defensively. "Like Hiiro!"

"I am not your bro," Hiiro said bluntly. Emu pouted.

"I wouldn't mind being your bro," Taiga spoke up, only to be ignored.

"Anyway… Yes, I suppose that when put like that, my plan does seem rather… Petty, but I assure you, it's just a smokescreen for a much more complex and nuanced scheme!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD insisted.

"Wait, what?" Emu asked, startled.

"… Pretend I didn't say that," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said slowly, realizing he may have made a serious mistake.

"No," Nico replied.

"Damn you!"

 _"I care not for your paltry schemes,"_ the Great Leader said dismissively. _"Whatever it is you're up to, it will surely fail just like everything else you try."_

"Oh yes, because you've got such a great track record yourself!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD snapped, indignant.

 _"You DARE?!"_ The Great Leader roared, causing the entire chamber to start quaking ominously. A few lights blew out, and others fell from the ceiling, nearly crushing some of the audience. The monitor flickered and nearly went out. _"I have been plotting to dominate this world since before your father was conceived! I have been the ultimate adversary of Kamen Riders for generations! Again and again I've fallen, and again and again I have returned, striking back against my foes with far greater ferocity than you ever could, no matter how many extra lives you have stashed away! On the day you have lost your last life and vanished into history, I shall still remain! I am the one, the only, the eternal Great Leader of Shocker… And you are NOTHING!"_

A giant glowing Shocker emblem formed high in the air above Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD, a tremendous blast of red lightning striking him with the force of a thousand thunderstorms. Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD howled in agony as millions of gigawatts coursed through his body, disintegrating his shoddy costume, cracking his helmet and visor, and depleting two thirds of his remaining Rider Gauge. After a full minute, the electric bombardment ceased, and Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD collapsed, twitching, smoking, and crackling, his armor and the ground around him blackened by the sheer intensity of the blast.

 _"Also, your costume was STUPID!"_

…

 _"And now that that dolt has been punished, it's time to deal with you_ ," Great Leader announced, turning his attention back to the dying Motors. _"The next time you respawn, pray that you never cross my path again, for next time I shall not be so merciful!"_

"You call… This… Merciful?!" Motors demanded.

The monster responded by opening its bill and leaning in towards him. "Wait. W-wait! I didn't mean it! _I didn't mean-"_

He was cut off when the monster bit off his face. As the creature masticated on the Bugster's metal visage, it flicked its claws, flinging away the samurai biker's corpse, the body derezzing before it could hit the ground.

Several meters away, Sendo popped fully back into existence. "I-I am alive!" He declared. "… _And in horrific pain!"_

"Good thing there are two doctors here," Kiriya remarked.

"You can take a crack at him first," Date replied from where he was lying on the ground. "I'll be up in a minute… Just as soon as I stop feeling like there's another bullet in my brain…"

"Oh God, how did that thing hit so hard?!" Goto moaned.

"The old-school kaijin may have looked a little silly at times, but they're much tougher than they appear," Date replied with a moan. "Why else do you think they keep coming back?"

"I don't suppose that you'd be happy to just turn away and leave now that you've handled what you came here to do?" Takeru asked cautiously, a tight grip on his sword.

 _"Hardly! Killing an imposter and putting that upstart in his place are just the start!"_ The Great Leader declared. _"I won't be able to get the full measure of my new monster's strength unless I pit it against a real Rider! You might not be the ones I was hoping for, but you'll do for a good test run."_

"What about us?" Kotoha asked as she and her friends pulled themselves up. "We aren't Riders."

 _"Eh, I suppose you'll suffice as adequate test subjects as well,"_ Great Leader said dismissively.

"Should I feel insulted? I feel kind of insulted," Genta complained.

"This battle may not go quite the way you think, fiend!" Ryuunosuke shouted hammily. "Not only are there more of us than there are of you, but you are up against none other than the eighteenth and nineteenth heads of the Shiba clan, the peerless Takeru and Kaoru Shiba! Against the might of our Lord and Lady, you stand no chance of success!"

Both red Rangers sighed. "I'm guessing that gets pretty old really fast," Kiriya observed.

"You have no idea," Kaoru deadpanned.

 _"Is that supposed to impress me?"_ The Great Leader asked skeptically. " _And if you really think numbers are going to be to your advantage…"_ The monster snapped his claws.

The ground trembled slightly, and the sound of hundreds of pairs of boots stomping on pavement echoed throughout the city. From both ends of the street, a massive horde of Shocker Combatmen numbering close to a thousand if not more appeared, marching in formation towards the startled heroes sandwiched between them. Once they were a few meters away, the goons stopped in their tracks, raised their right arms in a salute, and shouted, "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" their infamous cry, striking terror into the hearts of millions, resonating from hundreds of throats to bombard the Riders and Rangers caught between them.

Sendo, staggering to his feet, wept with pride. "My brethren! It's really you! Oh, how wonderful to see you all again! Even if Great Leader-Sama has cast me aside, and I'm fairly sure I'm suffering from massive internal bleeding, allow me to join your ranks once more, so that I can redeem myself in battle! If I may die, at least let it be in service to our glorious cause!"

His kindred exchanged uncertain glances, and then looked to their master. The monster shrugged. _"Oh, fine,"_ Great Leader said grudgingly.

Tears of joy streamed down Sendo's cheeks. "Oh, thank you, master, thank you!" He cried, saluting and shouting, "Yee!" The other Combatmen echoed him, the streets ringing with the sound of their blood curdling cries of hatred and destruction.

"Okay, that's a lot of mooks," Date commented.

"Yeah, but… They're just mooks," Chiaki pointed out. "No matter how many of them there are, they can't beat us… Right?"

"No, of course not," Mako agreed, though she didn't sound entirely certain.

"We can win this," Kiriya said, feeling just a tiny bit less confident then he sounded. "Still, if someone else completely unexpected just happened to show up out of the blue to help us out, I wouldn't complain."

Nothing happened. "I said, if someone else completely unexpected just happened to show up out of the blue to help us out, I wouldn't complain," Kiriya repeated, a bit louder.

Nothing happened. "I _SAID_ -"

The Great Leader cackled. _"Give it up, Rider! Nobody is coming to your rescue this time!"_

"Is that so?" A heroic voice called.

Everyone immediately turned their heads to glance up to the top of a nearby building. Standing on the edge of the roof was a dark-haired heavyset man looking to be at least in his late sixties wearing a dark leather jacket. Kiriya and the other two Riders gasped, instantly recognizing him.

"It can't be…" Kiriya whispered.

"No way… Is that…" Goto cried in disbelief.

"I… I think it is!" Said the stunned Date.

…

Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD made a noise that might've been, "Oh, _come on_!" But could just as easily have been so choking on his own blood.

"Should I know who that is?" Nico asked. Absolutely everyone stared at her disbelief. "… Newsletter?" She asked wearily.

"That would be a good start, yes," Emu said.

"You've really done a terrible job at being her senpai," Parad told Taiga.

"I'm not her senpai!" Taiga yelled.

"You totally are," Parad asserted.

"So, anyone going to clue me in on who that is?" Nico asked in exasperation.

Hiiro sighed. "Nico, that man is none other then-"

…

 _"HONGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ Great Leader shrieked in fury.

"That is my name, but we all know the title by which I am also called," the man declared. "Rider… _Henshin_!"

The man threw his right arm at a diagonal to his right, then rotated clockwise until it was a diagonal to his left, then retracted to his waist and thrust out his left arm at a diagonal to his right. He then proceeded to jump off the side of the building, flipping through the air as the turbine on the front of his belt started whirring, wind billowing past him as he fell, and his form was enveloped in a flash of light…

And then he struck that ground hard enough to crater it, generating a burst of air pressure which blasted away dozens of combatmen and buffeted back the startled heroes, while Great Leader shrieked in incoherent range. Smoke rising from his form, the man stood up, revealing that he was now wearing a rather bulky muscular suit of black and green armor, his helmet vaguely resembling the head of a grasshopper with big red eyes and two short antenna. The man struck a pose, and at least a quarter of the remaining combatmen died of heart attacks due to a combination of sheer terror and awe at his majesty. "Takeshi Hongo…Kamen Rider _1!"_

…

Nico gaped. "No way! That old dude is the first Rider?!"

Taiga cuffed her. "Show some respect! That 'old dude' is a legend! None of us would be here if it weren't for him!"

Hiiro nodded. "While the legacy of Kamen Riders goes back centuries, if not millennia, he is widely acknowledged as being the first 'true' Rider known to the public, and has the respect of our entire community."

"Hate… So much…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD wheezed.

" _Most_ of our community," Hiiro amended.

"Satsuki, you must be loving this-" Mizuki said, turning her to her friend, only to discover that she was gone. She blinked in confusion. "Satsuki?"

…

"Everyone, there is no need to fear, for I am here now," Hongo declared.

"… We weren't afraid," Genta commented.

"Should we know who this guy is?" Asked the confused Chiaki.

"Should we know – – how can you _not_ know?!" Ryuunosuke asked indignantly. "He is the first Kamen Rider!"

"… So?"

As Ryuunosuke made strangled noises of disbelief, Mako said, "Chiaki, imagine if it were Tsuyoshi Kaijo."

Chiaki stared at her blankly. "Who?"

"…Tsuyoshi Kaijo? Akarenger? Leader of the Himitsu Sentai Gorenger and the first red Ranger?" Mako asked, incredulous.

"I thought the first Shinken Red lived 300 years ago, and there were at least a few other Rangers who've been around long before that," Kotoha pointed out.

"The first _publicly recognized_ Red Ranger," Mako amended.

Chiaki shrugged. "Doesn't ring a bell."

Mako facepalmed and Ryuunosuke made more over-the-top sounds of disbelief. "You really need to read the newsletter," Genta chided him.

"Oh my Gaim, it's really him," Kiriya gushed.

"The first Rider, in the flesh!" said an excited Goto.

"So _this_ is his new 'Power-up' form I've heard so much about," Date observed. "Amazing that at that age, he can still pull it off so well!"

"Wow, is it stronger than his Super-1 form?" Kotoha asked innocently.

Everyone stared at her. "I've never had a Super-1 form," Hongo said after a moment.

"What? Sure you do, Kamen Rider Super-1!" Said the confused yellow samurai.

"Super-1 is a completely different Rider. We have no relation whatsoever," Hongo explained. "For example, I was turned into a Rider against my will by Shocker, while Oki _volunteered_ to be turned into a cyborg for the purposes of deep space exploration."

"I thought that was Fourze," said the confused Chiaki.

"No, he's a totally different space-themed Rider," Goto corrected him.

"There's more than one?" Asked the surprised Kotoha.

"Why not? We've got three different ninja and three different dinosaur-themed Sentai teams," Genta pointed out.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to read the newsletter," Chiaki snickered. Ryuunosuke bopped him.

" _Hongo_ ," Great Leader snarled. _"I hadn't expected to run into you today… But this is perfect! Now, my newest kaijin, Platypus Bear, can destroy not only these newer heroes, but my greatest adversary as well!"_

"Platypus… Wait, have you been watching Avatar: the Last Airbender?" Asked the incredulous Date.

 _"… I have no idea what you're talking about,"_ the Great Leader said evasively.

"Really? Because I could've sworn one of the many mix-and-match animals on that show was a platypus bear-" Kiriya began.

 _"GET THEM!"_ Great Leader shrieked abruptly.

The combatmen all shouted their blood curdling "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" And started forwards…

Only for someone to continue shrieking a high note. _"Who was that? Who is doing that?!"_ Great Leader demanded. _"Nobody is supposed to keep screaming! It all has to be done in unison, or else we look sloppy! You were trained better than this!"_

"I'm not sure that was one of yours," said the confused Takeru as the befuddled combatmen searched their ranks, trying to find who had gone off-script.

"And whoever it is, it's getting closer," Kaoru observed.

Platypus Bear threw up its arms in exasperation, no doubt mimicking its master. _"Oh, great! Who's going to interfere now?!"_

…

"Now… You know… My pain…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD cackled, only to start gasping and choking.

"Should anyone go help him? I mean, you're doctors," Parad asked. "Not that I want to help him or anything, just pointing it out."

Emu considered this. "… I'm pretty sure that the Hippocratic oath says we're not allowed to administer treatment to someone who would refuse aid, and I'm sure Kuroto's-"

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD yelled in reflex, and immediately regretted it as he almost blacked out from pain.

"Pride is too great for him to ask us for help," Emu concluded.

"I am in agonizing pain! Somebody help me!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD moaned.

"… That was certainly an interesting coughing fit he just had," Taiga said after a moment.

"Yes, it almost sounded like he was asking for help," Hiiro agreed. "But of course he would never do that."

 _"SO… MUCH… HATE…"_

"Has anyone seen Satsuki? She doesn't seem to be here," said a concerned Mizuki.

Nico frowned at the screen. "… Pretty sure I have an idea where she is."

…

As the shrieking rose in pitch and volume, something smashed into the combatmen horde from the rear, plowing through them and sending the goons flying, their screams adding a discordant chorus to the shrieker as it charged through their ranks with reckless abandon before bursting out into the clearing in the middle, skidding to a halt in front of Hongo.

"-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IT'S REALLY _YOU_!" Satsuki shrieked, stars in her eyes as she took in the first Rider's armored form. "KAMEN RIDER 1!"

…

"How… How did she get there?!" Asked an astounded Taiga.

"Is there a backdoor to this place we didn't notice?" Parad asked, glancing around the room for an exit.

"Kuroto?" Emu asked.

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said softly, so as not to damage his lungs. "And I honestly have no idea, I thought the only way in or out of here was by warp point."

"The power of a truly devoted fan can break even the laws of physics," Mizuki said sagely.

…

"Satsuki?! What are you doing… Oh, right, you're a huge fan of classic Riders. Yeah, this makes sense," Kiriya said with a slow nod.

"It does?" Asked a confused Goto.

"Not really, but if I think about it too long, I may get a headache, so best to just accept it and move on," Kiriya said with a shrug.

"Mister Hongo, I am _such_ a huge fan of yours!" Satsuki gushed. "You're my favorite Rider, except of course for my master Hiiro and Lady Malika! I watched every single one of your adventures, even the ones that never got officially released, and have so much of your merchandise, and I… I just… I never imagined I'd actually be able to meet you, and…" Biting her lip, the nurse/martial artist produced a book and gingerly offered it to Hongo. "Could I get your autograph?"

"Well, I'm not sure this is exactly the right time… But I'm never one to turn down my fans," Hondo said with a shrug, accepting the autograph book. "Do you have a pen?"

 _"… Are you SERIOUS?!"_ Great Leader shrieked in indignation as Satsuki giddily handed Hongo a pen and he started writing. _"You're going to sign this stupid girl's autograph, NOW, rather than-"_

"Actually, I was hoping I could get your autograph as well, Great Leader," Satsuki interrupted, handing Platypus Bear another book.

 _"O-oh! Well… This is rather irregular,"_ Great Leader said, startled. _"Well… If it's for a fan, then I suppose… Just this once, it can't hurt… Do have another pen?"_

"Seriously?" Asked an incredulous Kiriya as she handed the monster a second pen. "You're a fan of this guy, too?"

"Not really, but considering that he's the ur-villain of Kamen Rider, he is still a figure deserving of respect," Satsuki explained. "After all, were it not for him, we would not have Kamen Rider 1."

…

Nico considered this. "Hey, does that mean we should respect Kuroto-"

"Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD hissed.

"Since without him, none of us would be Riders either?" Nico finished.

They considered this for a moment, and then burst into laughter. "Naaaahhhh," Taiga chuckled, shaking his head.

"We all hate him too much to ever do that," Hiiro agreed.

"He may be responsible for giving me life, but that's the only thing I'll ever give him credit for," Parad said with a grin.

"Hate… Hate… HATE…" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD moaned.

…

"My, you have an impressive collection of autographs, Ms. Satsuki," said an impressed Hongo, glancing through the autograph book.

 _"Yeah, some of these are pretty surprising… Marshall Machine? The Real Man and the Woman? Scorpion Geronimo Junior? General Shadow? Neo-Organism? Machine Beast Mothership Fog Mother?! I didn't even know some of these villains were still alive! How did you manage to get their autographs?"_ Asked Great Leader.

"With great difficulty," Satsuki said proudly. "I think the only other fan with an autograph collection rivaling mine would be Gai Yuuki."

…

Gai did not sneeze, because he was too busy fighting for his life against Don Hormage. We'll check back in on that another time.

…

"Nobuo Akagi _wishes_ his collection were anywhere near as good as ours!" Satsuki continued to brag.

…

At the Secret Base Café in Akihabara, Nobuo Akagi sneezed. "Hakase, a canonical character just referenced us! I think that means we're finally canon!" He cried in excitement.

Hiroyo Hakase checked her instruments. "False alarm, this is a fanfic. So, as far from canon as possible."

Nobuo slumped. "Dammit. And I thought for sure after that reference in Space Squad, we were canon after all…"

"… Why are we here? Didn't we die?" Asked a very perplexed Luna Iwashimizu.

"It's the writer's fault," commented a bored Malshina.

"Hatte Saburo?" Yumeria Moegi asked, glancing away from her make out session with Kozukozu Mita.

"No, Ri2," Malshina said, sipping her coffee.

"Didn't you get married?" Mitsuki Aoyagi asked Yumeria. The unofficial yellow Ranger shrugged.

"Pain is power!" Nobuo shouted abruptly.

…

"By the way, there's something I was hoping you could clarify," Satsuki asked Great Leader. "A few years back, my master and his comrades battled a villain calling himself Shocker Leader III. Since you're obviously the first leader of Shocker, who's the second? Tsukasa Kadoya?"

…

Tsukasa sneezed. He quickly made a grab for one of the tissues Kintaros was throwing around, but Momotaros snatched it out of the air and ripped it to pieces right before his eyes. "That seems unnecessarily cruel," Urataros commented as Tsukasa started crying again.

"Meh," the red oni replied.

…

 _"No, he was nothing but a pawn,"_ Great Leader said derisively. _"If Shocker were to have a second leader, it would be Ambassador Hell. He's the only one whom I can trust to lead the organization in my absence."_

 _"Why thank you, sir, I didn't know you felt that way about me,"_ commented another voice, sounding flattered.

 _"D-don't get the wrong idea!"_ Great Leader stammered, flustered. _"It's simply that out of all of my incompetent subordinates, you're the least incompetent! The job would be Doctor Shinigami's if he hadn't run off to run that photo studio and if his replacement weren't so pathetic!"_

 _"What did I do?"_ A third voice burbled.

 _"You aren't even a real doctor, Space Ikadevil!"_ Great Leader snapped.

 _"I've got a doctorate in space philosophy!"_ Space Ikadevil argued.

 _"I repeat: you aren't even a real doctor!"_ Great Leader snarled. Space Ikadevil sighed.

Satsuki gasped, eyes sparkling. "It's just like in my fanfictions…" She whispered.

"… Okay, this is weird…" Kiriya murmured, more than a little disturbed.

Goto nodded. "Yeah, who knew the upper echelon of Shocker acted like this sometimes? I thought they were all serious all the time. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to look at them the same way after this."

"What? Oh, yeah, that's kinda weird, too, but I was referring more to Satsuki acting like a star-struck fangirl. It's _freaky_ ," Kiriya commented. Goto sweatdropped. (Can he do that, since this isn't anime? Eh, he's on Japanese television, same difference.)

"Here you go, Satsuki," Hongo said, finishing his autograph and handing it to the martial artist.

 _"I am finished as well,"_ Great Leader announced as Platypus Bear returned the autograph book. _"I apologize if my signature is less than legible, it's a bit difficult to write with remote-controlled bear hands from long-distance."_

"Thank you very much, both of you," Satsuki said, bowing her head. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and fulfill one of my lifelong dreams and fight some Shocker Combatmen." Howling a battle cry, she charged at the startled minions.

"We should probably get back to fighting as well," Takeru noted, brandishing his sword.

"Your help would be greatly appreciated. But first…Lazer Turbo, I believe you can use this," Hongo said, tossing a Gashat to Kiriya.

Kiriya stared in disbelief, eyes going wide. "Is this what I think it is?!"

"If what you think is that it's a Legend Gashat containing my power, then yes, it's exactly what you think it is," Hongo confirmed.

"This really is the best day ever!" Kiriya cheered giddily.

"I'm so jealous right now," Goto said bitterly.

"We're secondary and tertiary Riders, kid. It comes with the territory," Date reminded him.

"He's a tertiary Rider as well!" Goto pointed out.

"…Hmm. In that case, I'm also insanely jealous," Date admitted.

…

"I did not authorize the Gashat either!" Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD whined.

"We don't care," everyone said in irritation.

…

With a "Click to Save!" Kiriya ejected Origami Samurai Shinkenger and held up his new Gashat. "Now we're REALLY revving it up!"

 ** _LET'S GO ICHI GOU!_**

"Legend Gear! Level up!" Kiriya declared, inserting the Gashat into his Driver.

 ** _CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! RIDER PUNCH! RIDER KICK! RIDER, RIDER, ACTION GO!_**

The title screen for Let's Go Ichi Gou appeared behind him, and another hologram passed over him, outfitting him in a suit resembling his level II form, but with a black bodysuit with white stripes, the gray and green parts were silver and darker respectively, and his helmet resembled that of Kamen Rider 1, with the goggles partially concealing the big red eyes.

…

"Oh, come on!" Parad complained as Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD uttered a piteous wail. "Why am I the only one who hasn't gotten anything new today?"

"I didn't get anything new," Taiga complained.

"You got two sidekicks," Hiiro reminded him.

"Excuse you, Nico Saiba is no one's sidekick!" Nico declared.

…

 _Incredible_ , Kiriya thought in amazement, looking over his new form in awe. _I'm only Level II… But this power coursing through me… Its greater even then Level X! Is this what it feels like to be the first Rider?_

"Ready to fight alongside me?" Hongo asked gently.

Kiriya stared at the experienced hero in joy. "I don't think I've ever wanted anything more in my life, sir."

"Then let's go, Rider!" Hongo cried, charging towards Platypus Bear, Kiriya eagerly hot on his heels. Snarling in rage, the kaijin charged towards them, drawing back one of its massive claws, energy charging up as it prepared to unleash a powerful blow.

"Rider Punch!" Hongo's fist surged forwards just as the monster thrusts its claw, the two appendages colliding with an impact that cratered the ground beneath them and shattered windows in the surrounding buildings. Taking that as their cue to attack, the surrounding combatmen let out another fearsome "YEEEEEEEEE!" And surged forwards.

"I guess we're taking care of these guys, then," Date commented.

"I really hope there's no more after this, I'm getting kind of tired," Chiaki complained.

"This is what comes of shirking your training!" Ryuunosuke bellowed.

"Ryuunosuke, enough," Takeru interrupted. "Transform so we can take these foes down."

"Yes, Lord!" Ryuunosuke shouted zealously.

The two Riders and four samurai who had been knocked out of Henshin quickly went through their transformation sequences and were ready to fight just as the shrieking minions were upon them, welcoming them with gun and blade.

"Date,, I think I have an idea to help clear these guys out a little faster," Goto said, ducking a clumsily choreographed swipe from a combatman and blasting him repeatedly in the chest, lashing out with a rear kick to catch another one in the gut and then whirling around to get headshots onhalf a dozen more.

"I'm all ears, partner," Date replied, doing a (probably unnecessary) combat roll, firing shot after shot from his Birth Buster and cutting down several combatmen where they stood.

"I'm going to need to borrow some money," Goto said, bobbing backwards to avoid a swing, then sweeping his feet out to cut the mooks legs out from under him, firing a number of shots into his torso to put him down for good.

"Borrow some… Oh! I see," Date cried, realizing what his partner was suggesting. Firing several wild shots all around them to buy them some breathing room, he rushed over to Goto, pulled out a massive jar from… Somewhere, and immediately started pouring a ridiculous number of Cell Medals into the younger man's Birth Driver. "Okay, that should do it, but you're paying me back for this later!"

"Understood," Goto said, twisting the knob on the side of his Driver.

 ** _CLAWS SCORPION!_**

All of the orbs on Goto's body popped open, the machine parts flying out and converging in one place, assembling themselves into a colossal robot scorpion with the Brighton Bit-tipped Springer Haken for a tail and stinger, a combined Salamander Launcher and Haze Crawlers for a body, and the Vermillion Bucket and Solent Edges for claws. The mechanized arthropod emitted a chilling metallic shriek as it snapped its claws together and arced its tail in the air.

Goto hopped onto the scorpion's back. "Come on, let's do this!"

Date laughed as he jumped onto the scorpion's back besides Goto. "Oh, this is gonna be fun!"

The two Births rode the giant scorpion into the crowd of combatmen, who wailed in alarm and started trying to run for it when the arthropod started lashing out at them with claws and tail, while the Riders on its back opened fire with their guns, Date laughing like a madman as they fell before them.

"Why don't we have anything like that?" Chiaki complained, taking out his frustration and jealousy by stabbing his spear into his many mooks as he could reach, and given how long his weapon was, he could reach quite a distance.

"We have giant robot animals that can combine into even bigger giant robot samurai," Mako reminded him, flapping her fan through the air and sending goons flying in bursts of pink wind.

"Yeah, but we only use them to fight the big guys. Why do we never use them to fight anything smaller? Heck, we could probably defeat monsters of the week a lot faster if we just summoned our Origami right from the get-go and stepped on them," Chiaki argued, thrusting his spear into the ground, causing wooden pikes to erupt from the pavement and skewer combatmen.

"They'd still come back as giant monsters right afterwards," Kotoha pointed out, flinging her Shuriken through the air, the massive bladed instrument slashing through about a dozen combatmen before returning to her hand.

"Yes, but by that point we'd already be in our giant robots," Chiaki argued, switching back to his sword and slashing through some goons that tried to attack him from behind. "Wouldn't that be more efficient?"

"Yes, but it goes against tradition!" Ryuunosuke insisted fiercely, doing a (probably unnecessary) combat roll, firing numerous water arrows which pierced the bodies of several combatmen.

"Right, and we can't have that," Chiaki said sarcastically, blocking a blow with his spear, driving its rear into the attacker's gut to push him back, and then impaling him on the pointy bit and twirling the spear around, using the wailing combatman as a bludgeon to knock back some of his cohorts.

"There's also property values to consider," Genta pointed out. Several combatmen pulled out machine guns and opened fire on him. His sword shot out of his sheath and moved through the air so fast it was barely a blur, and with a click returned to its scabbard. There was a clinking sound of several bullets cut neatly in half fell to the ground before him. Then the machine guns the combatmen were holding fell to pieces. A moment after that, so did the combatmen. "The Shiba estate already has to pay a significant amount of money to fix all of the buildings which get torn up during our fights, and I imagine adding a bit more expenses to the bill won't help matters."

"Wait, we pay for that?" Chiaki asked in surprise, nearly taking a blow to the head.

"Certainly. Did you think the city magically fixed itself on its own every week?" Kaoru said, thrusting her sword forwards, the blade extending and zigzagging all over the place, slashing through and biting dozens of combatmen.

"I just figured the kuroko did it, or we had really good construction companies," Chiaki confessed, jabbing his spear forwards about a dozen times, each blow striking a different mook. "Or maybe really bad ones, considering how quickly the buildings get fixed and how easily they get wrecked again. Wait, does that mean every Sentai team has to pay to repair damages to the city? What do the ones who don't have some sort of financial backing or an endless swarm of faceless underlings do?"

"Those who can help, do," Takeru explained, swinging his zanbato and releasing a massive wave of fire that set several hapless combatmen ablaze. "Those who can't… Well, let's say there's a reason taxes and insurance rates in Japan have gotten so high over the last few decades."

"… That explains so much," Chiaki murmured, shaking his head in disbelief.

"That is one way my master and his fellows are superior to Super Sentai," Satsuki, who happened to be nearby, said smugly as she struck several points on a combatman's body in rapid succession. A moment later, his torso exploded. " _Their_ fights don't usually require half the city to be rebuilt on a weekly basis."

"Yeah, but at least _our_ guys are almost always able to work together as a cohesive unit right from the start, while you guys fight each other just as often as the monsters, if not more so," Genta countered.

"And you have _way_ more evil Riders then we have evil Rangers," Chiaki pointed out. "How can you guys call yourselves allies of justice with a straight face when so many of you are enemies of justice?"

"Ha! Got you there!" DaiGoyo chortled, his Bugster carrier flailing about inexpertly with his jutte and managing to knock several combatmen away. Satsuki, unable to think of a good retort, scowled and delivered a palm thrust to a combatman's chest so hard it stopped his heart and sent him flying back into his fellows, bowling them all over, and she finished them off with a devastating hip drop.

…

"He does have a point," Hiiro admitted. "We aren't always the best at getting along, are we?"

"If you guys had just been willing to work together right from the start, like I kept insisting we do, we could've avoided so much pointless strife," Emu reminded him.

"Yeah, why couldn't we all just get along?" Parad asked.

"I seem to remember you being one of those evil Riders," Taiga pointed out.

"Well… Yeah, but I was doing everything to play with Emu in the name of friendship, and that's supposed to be a thing heroes do… Right?" Parad asked, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Not really," Emu countered.

Parad grimaced. "Yeah, I know…"

…

Meanwhile, Hongo and Kiriya were fighting the fearsome Platypus Bear in unison, their blows landing with such force that craters formed in the street and in the surrounding buildings and nearby combatmen got blasted away from the sheer power behind the attacks. The monster snarled and swiped its claws through the air numerous times, sending a volley of dozens of energy blades slicing through the air towards the Riders. Hongo surged forwards and held an arm diagonally before him, catching the blades on his forearm, sparks flying as they tried to pierce his armor to no avail. With a grunt, he flung his arm to the side, flinging the energy blades away, some of them flying right back into Platypus Bear and causing it to stagger a few steps back while others hit the ground behind him and exploded.

Kiriya hopped onto Hongo's shoulders and sprang off, flipping through the air and bringing a heel down on Platypus Bear's head with an ax kick. Platypus Bear raised a claw before the kick could land, sparks flying as the energy surrounding his foot crackled against the appendage, and opened its bill, powering up its beam attack. Just before it could fire, Hongo shot forwards and delivered a powerful uppercut to the beast's lower beak, snapping the monster's head up and causing its beam to go wild, slicing up the side of a distant building. Enraged, Platypus Bear swiped at him with its free claw, but Hongo blocked it with one arm and released a volley of mach-speed punches into its torso.

Kiriya disengaged his attack, flipping back, but immediately dashing forward the instant he hit the ground, aiming a punch for Platypus Bear's face. The monster blocked his attack with its other claw, opening its mouth again to fire the beam attack. In unison, Kiriya and Hongo thrust their free hands forward, punching the monster in the mouth just before it could fire, causing the beam to discharge and explode inside its head.

Platypus Bear howled in pain and staggered back, coughing smoke and spitting up blood. As the two Riders rushed towards it to continue the assault, the beast snarled and spun around, its thick tail elongating and enlarging and slamming into the duo, knocking them away with enough force to slam them into a nearby building. As Great Leader cackled from the belt, Platypus Bear opened its mouth and fired its beam attack.

The two Riders managed to pull themselves free from their impact craters and leap to the side just as Platypus Bear unleashed his attack, the beam piercing the building as well as the next several behind it, leaving gaping holes punched clean through the structures as explosions and fires rocked them. "Okay, this is ridiculous," Kiriya complained, staring in disbelief at the series of giant holes. "Neither platypuses nor bears can spit lasers!"

"When dealing with monsters, it's often best to stop questioning why or how they have certain abilities," Hongo advised Kiriya. "Best to just accept it and take them down as quickly as possible."

"That's fair," Kiriya conceded.

 _"This time, it will be you who is taken down quickly, Hongo!"_ Great Leader crowed. " _And your sidekick as well!"_

"Sidekick? Who are you calling a sidekick?" Kiriya asked, offended. "Who do you think I am, Ichimonji?"

"Hayato isn't my sidekick, he's my partner," Hongo said insistently. "I wish people would stop calling him that. He deserves more recognition than he actually gets."

"Where is he, anyway?" Kiriya asked. "I don't think anyone's seen him since that Badan incursion in Zawame."

"We've lost touch," Hongo admitted. "I haven't heard from him in a while."

 _"And you never will again, once my mighty kaijin is through with you!"_ Great Leader declared. Platypus Bear charged its tail with energy, then spun around and slammed it onto the ground, sending out a powerful shockwave which tore up the ground in a series of powerful eruptions blasting out of the street towards the two Riders.

Hongo, and Kiriya immediately jumped into the air, using the incredible leaping ability possessed by their grasshopper DNA/coding to soar above the explosions. "Platypuses can't do that, either!" Kiriya shouted.

 _"Oh, shut up about that already!"_ Great Leader snapped as Platypus Bear snarled and unleashed dozens of energy blades at them. Miraculously, none of the blades hit them, instead smashing into the front of the damaged building behind them and triggering tremendous explosions, causing the structure to collapse and creating a dramatic backdrop that just made the two Riders look even more spectacular as they arced towards the kaijin.

"Rider Chop!" Hongo declared, raising his right hand and preparing to bring it down in a powerful karate chop. Seeing no reason not to, Kiriya mimicked him with his left hand.

Just before their blows could connect, Platypus Bear caught their chops in its claws and fell backwards, its tail coiling against the ground behind it to serve as a cushion as its legs shot up and kicked the Riders square in the chest, flinging them backwards. Kiriya flinched as he hit the ground, rolling for a few feet before managing to come to stop and pull himself up. Something felt… Off. "Hey, Hongo, when he kicked us, did you feel like something pricked—gah!"

Kiriya staggered, pain coursing through him and his Rider Gauge depleting slightly, his vision swimming before his eyes and an uncomfortable buzzing ringing in his ears. "What… What did he…"

"Nngh!" Hongo grunted, clutching his chest, wavering slightly. "I think we've been poisoned!"

Great Leader cackled as Platypus Bear lifted a foot, showing off the barb on the back of its ankle. _"That's because you have been! Platypus Bear has powerful armor-piercing barbs capable of injecting its targets with a rather nasty neurotoxin our scientists came up with that even Hongo's cyborg metabolism can't resist! And before you say anything, platypuses actually DO have poison barbs on their hind legs, so you can't accuse us of giving it the ability to do something it shouldn't!"_

…

"I didn't know that platypuses could do that," said the surprised Nico.

Taiga nodded. "They do. Yet another reason why Australia is probably one of the most dangerous places on earth. Even the animals that look harmless and silly can be potentially deadly."

"It's a good thing we've never fought any monsters from down under," Hiiro commented. "They would have to be extraordinarily strong to survive in that place."

"Platypuses are one of the five species of mammals that can lay eggs," Mizuki spoke up.

"Really?" Emu asked in surprise. "There are that many?"

"Well, the other four are all species of echidnas," Mizuki admitted.

"Echidnas? Like Knuckles?" Nico asked.

"Yes, except real echidnas look nothing like him," Mizuki confirmed.

"Hey, does that mean Knuckles hatched from an egg?" Parad wondered.

"I think so," Emu said.

"So if he hooked up with someone else, would they be able to reproduce? Given that he's supposed to be the last of his kind- not counting the ones who are dead or live in another dimension, or whatever- would he even be able to mate with a species that can't lay eggs?" The Bugster inquired.

"I think you're overthinking this," Emu said, sweatdropping.

"And I don't think you're thinking about them enough!" Parad retorted. A haunted look crossed his face. "I'm a video game character, Emu. It's things like this that keep me up at night."

…

"Guh!" Kiriya groaned as another wave of agony shot through his body, his Gauge depleting again and his vision fading in and out. "Don't suppose… There's an antidote?"

 _"If there were, do you really think Platypus Bear would have it on him?"_ Great Leader taunted. _"Now that they're weakened, kill them!"_

Platypus Bear leaned back on its tail again, which coiled beneath it, and then sprung forwards, launching towards the Riders. They tried to get out of the way, but with their reaction time slowed by the toxin, both of them got hit as the monster sailed past, slashing at them with its claws as it went. It flipped through the air, landed on its tail, and rebounded back towards them, slashing them again, and then repeating the process a good half-dozen times. On its seventh (ninth?) pounce, Hongo managed to shove Kiriya out of the way and get in front of the beast, catching his claws in his hands and trying to hold it back. Another spasm rocked his body, however, and he tumbled backwards, Platypus Bear landing on top of him, roaring in his face and leaning in to rip it off like it had Motors'.

"Oh no you don't!" Kiriya grabbed the monster by its tail and yanked it off Hongo, whirling around and spinning the startled beast through the air until he had picked up enough momentum and flung it away, causing it to smash bill-first into a wall and get stuck. As it made several muffled growls and snorts, it struggled to wrench its bill free while Great Leader screamed 'encouragements' from its belt.

"That was a good move," Hongo complimented Kiriya as the younger Rider helped him up.

"Thanks, who would've thought playing so much Super Mario 64 back in the day would come in handy?" Kiriya replied, grinning smugly beneath his mask.

…

"Me," Parad said. Emu nodded in agreement.

"You gotta wonder why Bowser always fights Mario in arenas that seem designed more to hurt him than Mario," Nico commented.

"It's a common trope in video games," Emu pointed out. "If you didn't fight the boss in such an arena, how are you supposed to defeat them?"

"Make it so that the boss is vulnerable to things other than its own arena?" Taiga suggested. Emu, Parad, and Nico stared at him as if he were an idiot.

"Which is one thing that makes Genm Co. games infinitely superior to the competition," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD bragged. "All of OUR bosses can only be beaten by skill, not exploiting environmental weaknesses!"

"Then why has there been a giant salt shaker nearby in nearly every fight with Count Salty in the Mighty series?" Emu countered.

"… Shut up."

…

"Quick, let's get him before he can—ngh!" Kiriya grunted as the poison's effects hit him again, his Gauge depleting further, staggering as he felt a sudden sensation of intense vertigo.

"Hang back," Hongo said through gritted teeth, looking like he was having trouble standing up straight. "I've had worse, I can handle-"

 _"No, you will not!"_ Great Leader declared as Platypus Bear slapped the ground with its tail, sending another explosive quake towards the two Riders, a tremendous conflagration erupting beneath their feet and sending them flying, crying in pain. With a triumphant snarl, the monster managed to rip its bill out of the wall and turned towards the two prone heroes, opening its mouth and charging up for a beam attack…

Only for a disk to suddenly spin through the air and fly into its mouth, lodging in its throat. Platypus Bear gasped and pounded its chest as it started choking, DaiGoyo vigorously firing more disks at it from afar. "Take that! And that, and that, and that!" The lantern shouted as his Bugster handler vigorously pumped the fire trigger.

Batting away the disks in irritation with a claw, Platypus Bear spat up the disk stuck in its throat and prepared to fire its beam at DaiGoyo…

When the CLAWS Scorpion slammed into it from out of nowhere, ramming it into the nearby building, its pincers snapping shut around its legs as it drove its stinger tail into its chest, causing the monster to howl in agony as the drill pierced its flesh. Date and Goto rushed over to the downed Kiriya and Hongo, laying down suppressive fire at Platypus Bear as they helped the two up. "You guys okay?" Goto asked.

"Do we—unf!- Look okay?!" Kiriya grunted.

"I don't suppose you would happen to be carrying any medicine that could counteract modified platypus toxin, doctor?" Hongo asked Date.

"You know, I knew when I left for work this morning that I might need it, but…" Date shrugged helplessly.

"Allow me," Kaoru declared, stepping forward. She produced her ShodoPhone and gracefully drew the kanji for 'antidote' in the air, flicking it towards Hongo and Kiriya. The two Riders flashed red as the symbol passed over them…

And suddenly, felt completely healed. "I feel completely healed," said the surprised Hongo.

"How the heck did you do that?" Asked the astonished Kiriya.

"We Shinkengers can harness a mystical energy called 'Mojikara' that can be used to cast spells of sorts using kanji," Kaoru explained. "It takes a lot of practice to master, but for those who know how to do it right, they can use its power to do just about anything they can think of."

"Could certainly use a skill like that in my line of work," commented an impressed Date. "I don't suppose I could learn it?"

"Are you any good at calligraphy?" Kaoru asked.

"Well, no," Date admitted.

"Then I'm afraid you're out of luck," Kaoru said apologetically.

Their attention was drawn back to Platypus Bear by the sound of a horrendous metallic shriek as the enraged monster grabbed the CLAWS Scorpion's tail and ripped it off, flinging it away and causing it to break down to its various machine components. The monster drove its claws into the wounded scorpion's main body and tore it apart, flinging the pieces of scrap aside. The robot disabled, the monster roared and powered up its claws, ready to lash out with energy blades at its foes…

Only for streaks of red, blue, yellow, green, pink, and gold to shoot past it, sparks flying as each Shinkenger dashed past and lashed out with their katanas, carving into the monster's hide. The monster staggered back from the six consecutive blows… And noticed, to its dismay, that the samurai had cut off its claws during their attack. Howling in rage, it began powering up its beam attack…

 ** _BREAST CANNON!_**

 ** _BIRTH DAY!_**

 ** _CELL BURST!_**

Only for the two Births to jump into its path, firing powerful lasers from their chest cannons, the beams clashing with the monster's own. The three beams vied for superiority, until Kaoru decided to tip the scales by lashing out with Kyoryumaru, her blade wrapping around Platypus Bear's bill and pulling it shut, cutting off its beam and allowing the combined power of the two Cell Bursts to wash over it, smashing it into a building hard enough to crater it and burning off a sizable amount of its thick fur.

"Wow, where were you guys earlier?" Kiriya asked.

"Fighting the combatmen," Kaoru answered.

"…That was a rhetorical question. Speaking of which, what happened to them?"

"Oh, they died," the samurai Princess said offhandedly.

"Not all of them!" Sendo declared, running towards them. "You may have defeated my comrades, but I shall avenge them all and redeem myself in Great Leader' eyes by killing-"

Satsuki clotheslined him, knocking him off his feet, and drove a foot into his chest, driving the breath from his lungs and pinning him to the ground. "Be silent. Your part in this is over," the martial artist said sternly.

"… Is it wrong to say that I actually find this kind of hot?" Sendo asked weakly. Satsuki responded by punching him in the throat, knocking him out.

"Thank you for your help, all of you," Hongo said gratefully. "But I believe it's time we finished this."

 _"I couldn't agree more!"_ Great Leader snarled as Platypus Bear ripped itself free from the wall, clearly wounded but still in the fight. _"We aren't through just yet!"_ Platypus Bear whirled around and slammed its tail into the ground with all its might, sending explosive shockwaves blasting out of the ground in all directions.

"Not so fast! **_All Out Earth Power_**!" Kotoha shouted, driving her Land Slicer Shuriken into the ground. Yellow Mojikara blasted out from it, stopping Platypus Bear's quake in its tracks and causing it to reverse course, slamming into the monster with all its concussive force, trapping the monster in a series of tremendous explosions which sent it flying, moaning in torment.

 _"Get up! Get up and finish them!"_ Great Leader shrieked furiously. Groaning, the monster staggered to its feet…

 ** _CRANE ARM!_**

Only for a pair of Springer Haken winches to wrap around its wrists and pull them apart, holding them taut. It shrieked in anger and started charging up its beam attack, only to find six katanas crossed around its neck, the blades interlocked to point its head upwards and out of the way, Kaoru wrapping Kyoryumaru around its bill once more to keep it from firing its attack as an added measure. Struggling, the monster raised its tail to prepare for a quake attack, but before it could hit the ground, Satsuki was suddenly there, catching the tail and pushing upwards with all of her might to keep it from hitting the ground.

 _"Do it!"_ She yelled at Hongo and Kiriya, sweat rolling down her face as she struggled to keep the tail in check.

 _"No! NO!"_ Great Leader howled.

Hongo turned to Kiriya. "Ready?"

"More than you can imagine." Kiriya removed his Gashat and stuck it into the slot on his left hip.

 ** _CLICK TO CLOSE! FINISHING MOVE!_**

 ** _CLICK TO OPEN!_**

 ** _LET'S GO CRITICAL STRIKE!_**

The two Riders jumped into the air, flipped, and shot towards Platypus Bear with a flying side kick. **_"RIDER KICK!"_**

The other heroes jumped out of the way just before the kick struck Platypus Bear right in the chest, flinging it several meters away, wailing in anguish. It rolled a few times, and then staggered to his feet, electricity crackling around it as it convulsed wildly. _"Curse you… CURSE YOU, KAMEN RIDERS!"_ Great Leader shrieked as Platypus Bear fell to its knees and exploded spectacularly.

"… Hey, we were here too, you know," Chiaki complained.

"Silence!" Ryuunosuke yelled, bopping him on the head.

"That was even more beautiful than I imagined," Satsuki gushed, eyes brimming with tears.

"I will remember this moment for the rest of my life," Kiriya whispered, also on the brink of tears.

"Yosh! The clap of victory...for real this time!" Genta declared.

All the heroes clapped once.

…

Livid, Great Leader slammed his fist onto his armrest as the camera feed from Platypus Bear's belt dissolved into static. "Blast it! Another of our mighty kaijin bested by that accursed Hongo! Can _nothing_ stop him?!"

"I'm sure we'll get him one of these days, sir," Ambassador Hell said loyally.

"Suck-up," General Black muttered. Ambassador Hell kicked him in the shin without looking.

"Shall I execute the scientists for their failure?" Colonel Zol asked eagerly.

Great Leader considered this for a moment, then sighed and shook his head. "No, Platypus Bear was never intended to fight so many opponents at once. It's rather impressive it lasted as long as it did, really. The scientists may live...for now." Zol pouted in disappointment.

"What shall we do now, my lord?" Space Ikadevil inquired.

"For now? Begin work on the next monster," Great Leader decided. "Make sure it's at least _twice_ as deadly as Platypus Bear." He rose to his feet. "I shall retire to my quarters. General Black, you are in command while I'm gone. Ambassador Hell, accompany me, I could use a backrub."

"As you command, my liege," Ambassador Hell vowed, a giddy look on his face.

"...I can give backrubs too," Space Ikadevil muttered enviously as the archvillains left the command room. "Really good ones…"

"Can I have one?" Zol asked hopefully.

Space Ikadevil gave him a look of disgust. "Ew, no. You don't have nearly enough tentacles." Zol sulked in disappointment.

...

"Young Rider! It was an honor to fight alongside you," Hongo declared, grabbing the unresponsive Kiriya by the hand and shaking it, nearly rendering him catatonic from glee. "And you as well, fellow allies of justice!"

"Well, at least he acknowledges us," Chiaki commented. Ryuunosuke bopped him on the head again.

"Unfortunately, I cannot stay any longer, for I must go," Hongo said apologetically. "There is somewhere else I am needed urgently, and I have delayed long enough by joining this battle."

"What is it?" Asked a concerned Takeru.

"Is it another battle against Shocker other forces of evil?" Satsuki asked a little too eagerly.

"And if so, can we watch?" Date asked.

Hongo shook his head. "I'm afraid not. It's something far more important… My adopted daughter, Mayu Tachibana, is graduating this afternoon, and I must hurry if I'm to get there in time. She's willing to make allowances for me being late from time to time due to my never ending battle against the forces of evil, but this, I think, is not an event I can afford to miss."

"Oh, wow, no, of course not!" Said the startled Kiriya. "Go, man, get out of here! Being with her is way more important than hanging out around with us!"

"Thank you for saying so," Hongo said a grateful nod. "However, none of you should count yourselves as unimportant! This victory would not be possible without all of you! Keep fighting, all of you, in the name of justice!" He hopped onto a white and red motorcycle resembling a Honda GoldWing F6C that none of them had noticed was parked nearby until just now. "Oh, and Lazer Turbo?"

"Yeah?" Kiriya asked, perking up.

"You may keep that Gashat. Make good use of it! Until next time!" With that, the first Rider started his engine and drove off, quickly receding into the distance. They watched him go, more than a little starstruck.

"… This is, without a doubt, the best day of my life," Kiriya whispered in awe as he disengaged his Driver, reverting to his normal self.

"I think the only thing that could make this day even better would be if divine Malika were to descend from Helheim and take me away to be her consort," Satsuki agreed, a look of sheer joy on her face.

"I thought she was married to Baron," said a puzzled Kotoha.

"They're gods. They wouldn't be divine without a little extramarital hanky-panky," Chiaki pointed out. "Plus, I doubt she'd be getting much from _that_ guy-"

"BLASPHEMY!" Kiriya, Satsuki (and, back in the studio, Hiiro and Mizuki) shouted indignantly.

"Chiaki, it's not nice to make fun of other people's religious beliefs," Mako pointed out.

"All right, all right, I get it…" The green samurai muttered.

"Well, kids, this has been fun," Date said as he grabbed Sendo by one arm and heaved him up, Goto getting his other side. "But we've gotta get this guy back to the office before someone else tricks him into creating a fake Shocker kaijin."

"It's a wonder Mister Kougami hasn't fired him," Goto commented.

"You know the big guy, always supports people for following their ambitions, so long as they don't clash with his own," Date reminded him.

"Hey, actually, before you guys go, you think you might be able to help me out with something?" Kiriya asked, suddenly, getting an idea. "You see, this whole mess was caused in the first place by an old enemy of my friends and I coming back from the dead, and maybe if you come back with me, we might be able to find a way to-"

He was interrupted when a warp point suddenly appeared beneath him and Satsuki, whisking the two of them away before disappearing just as suddenly as it had appeared.

The two Riders and seven samurai stared for a moment at where the warp point, and Kiriya and Satsuki, had just been. "Well, that's a thing that just happened," Chiaki spoke up.

"I guess there's no way we can go after them to help out?" Kotoha asked, upset.

"I don't think so, no," Takeru said.

"What, you guys can't just whip up a teleporter with your magic calligraphy or something?" Date asked.

"It doesn't work that way," Kaoru said. She paused. "I think."

"I'm afraid that whatever's going on, they'll have to deal with it on their own," Ryuunosuke decided.

"I hope they'll be okay," said the worried Kotoha.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Genta insisted. "They seemed pretty capable."

"By the way, before I forget, I'm keeping this Bugster," DaiGoyo spoke up from the hands of the last remaining Bugster Virus.

"Hmm. Okay. We can put him into kuroko training, but if we keep him, you're going to have to be responsible for feeding and cleaning up after him," Takeru decided.

"No problem, Lord!" The robotic lantern said cheerfully.

"What?! That's… That's not…" Genta spluttered. "Why is it that when _I_ suggested we adopt a Nanashi, you shot me down, but when _he_ suggests it, you have no objections?!"

"There's a difference between Nanashi and Bugster Viruses," Takeru insisted. "Plus, this one has a trustworthy face."

 _"HIS FACE IS A COOKED CHICKEN!"_ Genta screamed.

"… Hey, do you think Mister Kougami would let us keep some Waste Yummies-" a thoughtful Date began.

"No," Goto said immediately. Date pouted.

…

"-Beat… Hey, I wasn't finished talking!" Kiriya protested, realizing he had reappeared back on the stage.

"I don't care, I had to get you out of there before you managed to drag those irritating samurai and walking gashapon back here," Great Leader Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said angrily. "It's bad enough Taiga's sidekick and those nurses somehow got here, I don't want anyone else interfering in this game, we've had far too many unwanted interlopers already!"

"I'm not his sidekick!" Nico insisted.

"I don't believe you," Parad said, ignoring her snarl. "By the way, Kiriya? All of us are extremely envious of you for getting to fight along the first Rider and get a Gashat containing his powers, and all of us hate you forever now."

"I don't," Emu protested.

"Of course you do, you're just too nice to say it," Parad said dismissively. Emu frowned at him.

Kiriya shrugged this off. "I might be more upset… If I hadn't just had the absolute best day of my life ever, so you all can suck on your jealousy until you choke! I got to fight alongside the first Rider against an actual freaking Shocker kaijin, and I'm not letting any of you touch this shiny new Gashat he entrusted to me! Well, except for maybe Emu, since I like him the most."

"Thanks?" Emu said in confusion, the other Riders looking at him in naked envy.

"Emu, if he lets you use it, you'll let me borrow it too, right?" Parad asked in such a way that implied it wasn't a question.

"Uh, sure thing," Emu said uncertainly, wondering what Kiriya had just dragged him into.

"Well? Was it everything you imagined it would be?" Mizuki asked Satsuki with a long-suffering smile.

"And more," Satsuki said blissfully, clutching her autograph books to her chest. Bringing herself back to reality, she bowed her head in apology to Hiiro. "Hiiro-sama, I apologize for leaving your side without permission, but I… I just… I felt that I had to do _something_ to make up for my earlier failure-"

"Enough," Hiiro interrupted her. "You fought well and helped to make up for your mistake. What's done is done."

Tearing up, Satsuki bowed repeatedly. "Thank you, Hiiro-sama!"

"So, that guy was the first Rider…" Nico mused. "I guess I can see why you guys respect him so much. He seemed pretty cool for such an old guy."

"The _coolest_ ," Kiriya insisted. "By the way, why does Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD interjected.

"Look like shit? And wait, I thought there was a Great Leader in there?" Kiriya inquired.

"Great Leader was rather… Displeased with my costume and appropriating his name and position for my own use, and made his anger at me for doing so, most evident," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, sounding a little embarrassed. "So I decided to go back to calling myself 'Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD' for the time being."

"Cool, so nothing's changed," Kiriya stated.

"What do you mean, nothing's changed?! I shortened my name!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD protested.

"Yes, and none of us will remember to call you by that name, either," Kiriya pointed out. The others nodded in agreement.

"S-such insolence!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD stammered, livid.

"Oh, by the way, turns out that this entire quiz game is nothing more than a smokescreen to cover up his real, much more subtle master plan," Emu spoke out.

Kiriya raised an eyebrow. "And this is a surprise, because?"

"Anyway," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said loudly, quickly changing the subject. "I think it's safe to say that the Shocker round is over now – – especially now that the Great Leader has been very clear he doesn't want it to continue – – so it's back to the regular game. Time for the next question, and it's one that I actually was inspired to do thanks to Hongo showing up out of nowhere."

He nodded at the screen, which changed to show a picture of an older man working on a motorcycle in her garage. Satsuki gasped, immediately recognizing him. "Throughout history, few Riders have truly fought alone," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD explained. "Many of them have always had someone in their corner, helping them and giving support when needed. However, no ally of Kamen Riders is as influential or beloved as Tōbei Tachibana, mentor of the first Rider and father figure of many of the earliest Riders.

 **How many Riders has Tachibana helped over the years?**

 **A. One**

 **B. Two**

 **C. Three**

 **D. Five**

 **E. Seven**

 **F. Eight**

 **…**

 **Oof. This chapter took a lot longer than I thought it would. I suppose the many frequent asides weren't entirely necessary, and I decided to throw in the Shinkengers as a spur of the moment thing, but I always planned for the Births and Hongo to make an appearance. Hopefully the appearance of so many other heroes from other shows wasn't too intrusive, because I have plans on how to follow up some of their stories later on, even though they'll probably have almost no effect whatsoever on the main story.**

 **Anyway, I'm (almost) 100 percent certain future chapters won't be anywhere near as long as this. So, cast your votes, and hopefully we'll get a new chapter much faster than this one took!**


	20. Boss Stage 6 and Question 18

Apologies for the massive delay. My computer died and I had to get a replacement, and I've been busy with a bunch of other things.

Also, I started writing this chapter before certain events in Zi-O, which explains any… Discrepancies…

In any event, happy new year! With any luck, the story will actually be finished this year!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Really? That's an easy one!" Kiriya scoffed. "Everyone knows it's seven!"

"I didn't," Nico muttered, to the surprise of no one.

"Tachibana mentored the first seven Riders, also known as the Seven Legendary Riders," Satsuki explained. "1,2, V3, Riderman, X, Amazon, and Stronger."

"I'm guessing you have all their autographs as well?" Parad asked half-jokingly.

"I do, yes," Satsuki confirmed, to nobody's surprise.

"So it's seven," Emu murmured, feeling strangely uncertain. Rationally, he knew this was the right answer, and yet… Something was nagging at him. He felt like he was forgetting something. But Tachibana had never aided any Rider other than the first seven, the other Showa Riders never managed to meet him because he'd been murdered by Shocker before they ever got the chance. So who could possibly be the eighth Rider? Surely nobody… And yet…

"Emu? Something wrong?" Parad asked, noticing his partner's hesitation.

"… It's nothing. It has to be seven. There's no one else he could've helped," Emu muttered, trying to convince himself.

Hiiro nodded. "Indeed. While he left a lasting impact on Rider history, the first seven are the only ones he helped directly. That's the only answer it could possibly be."

"Right… Right. Kuroto, the answer is seven!" Emu declared.

Much to everyone's surprise, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD didn't immediately yell at him that his name was Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD. "Did… Did anyone just feel that?" He asked, looking confused.

"Feel what?" Taiga asked.

"I feel like… Like a second ago, I never died or got involved in any plans to take over the world using video games, and instead got the power to turn into a monster version of OOO, seceded my company from Japan, and tried to declare myself a king, only to get beaten by some weird kid who seemed to think he was destined to become king?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD said, clearly bewildered. "Oh, and Eiji Hino was a member of the Diet for some reason."

Parad raised an eyebrow. "I think we would've noticed if something like that had happened."

"Although I did feel the strangest sensation. As if, for a brief moment, my entire religion simultaneously existed and yet did not exist at the same time," Hiiro murmured, looking perplexed. Satsuki and Mizuki nodded in agreement.

"What, like Schrödinger's cat?" Emu asked.

"More like Schrödinger's Rider," Parad joked.

"No, that's Takumi," Kiriya chuckled. "Although on a serious note, yeah, I thought I felt something like that too. What's with that?"

…

Sougo Tokiwa sneezed. "Here-" Tsukuyomi started, offering him a handkerchief, only for it to be snatched away by Geiz. "Geiz!"

"He doesn't deserve it!" Geiz snapped, ripping the handkerchief to pieces.

"What did I do now?" Sougo asked, upset. "Geiz, I thought we were cool now!"

"Sorry. Force of habit," Geiz apologized, contrite.

"Here, my overlord, you can have this," Woz said, appearing from out of nowhere to hand Sougo a handkerchief.

"Thanks, Woz!" Sougo said in relief, blowing his nose. "When I become King, you can be my Royal handkerchief-giver!"

Woz's expression faltered for a moment. "If… That is what my overlord desires…"

"I bet you were hoping for a much more… _Intimate_ position, right?" Geiz jeered.

Woz scowled and snapped open his book, glancing at a page. "According to this, you will die before the sun sets."

Geiz snorted. "Yeah, sure. Very funny, Woz." The Prophet smirked and walked away. "… That was a joke, right? Woz? WOZ?!"

…

"Huh. Guess it must've been my imagination…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroto Dan GOD murmured. "Still, that gives me an idea! From now on, you shall refer to me as Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

Everyone stared at him blankly. "Kuroking?" Kiriya asked incredulously.

"Yes, because not only am I a God, but also a king! A God-King, if you will," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said smugly.

"We are not calling you that," Taiga said flatly.

"Such insolence! Bow before your God-King!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD bellowed.

"No," Taiga said bluntly.

"You shall be first against the wall once I seize power!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD howled.

"What about me?" Kiriya asked with a cheeky grin.

"Okay, fine, he'll be second against the wall!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD amended.

Emu raised his hand. "Um…"

"Oh, good point. All right, fine, he'll be seventh against the wall," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, changing his mind again.

"Seventh?!" Taiga cried.

"Yes, seventh. Let's be honest with ourselves, Taiga, you're much further down my list of people I want dead than most of the people in this room," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said dismissively. "Anyway, you were saying something, Emu?"

"Seven," Emu repeated.

"Seven? Oh, right, the question! Seven. Right, right… WRONG!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

"What?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"But that's not possible!" Satsuki protested, shocked. "Tachibana only aided the Seven Legendary Riders, and nobody else! I mean, he would have if he could have, but-"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD laughed maniacally, shaking his head in faux pity. "Oh, you poor, poor, fools. How easily you forget. Emu, I'm so disappointed in you! You yourself indicated you knew the correct answer to this not too long ago!"

"What? What are you talking about?" Emu demanded, catching his breath.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cackled. "You still don't remember? Let's see if this jogs your memory!" He gestured at the monitor, which changed to show…

" _Actually, on his way home from the Doctor Pac-Man incident he crashed his bike, but it was conveniently near the grave of the legendary Tobei Tachibana, one of the greatest and most influential allies to Riders throughout history, and he revived Takeru and entrusted his spirit to him in the form of the Tachibana Eyecon," Emu explained._

Everyone was silent for a long moment. "… Gaimdammit, I knew there were eight!" Emu cursed, banging his head against the podium. "I can't believe I forgot about Takeru!"

"Neither can I. I suppose we were so star-struck by seeing Hongo in action that Takeru's mishap slipped our minds," Hiiro said in disgust.

"I should have remembered as well. Two mistakes in a row? This is unforgivable," Satsuki said gravely. "Mizuki, your tanto-"

"No! Enough with the seppuku already!" Nico yelled in exasperation.

"Wait, does that really count?" Taiga argued. "I mean, he was already dead when this happened!"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrugged. "At no point did I specify that they had to be Riders Tachibana helped while he was _alive_. Takeru counts, and you know what that means!" He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them.

"But… But we can't have another Bugster fight! We just had one!" Emu protested.

"And at no point did I say that back-to-back Bugster battles weren't a thing, either!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD pointed out. "This is your own doing, Emu! If you had remembered your own words better, you might not have brought this upon yourself! And now another innocent bystander will have to pay for your mistake."

"Nobody would have to suffer in the first place if you didn't insist on making us play this stupid game!" Kiriya snarled.

"If someone dies in a videogame, whose fault is it? The players, or the game designers?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked dismissively.

"This isn't a videogame!" Taiga argued. "These are real people you're hurting, videogame characters don't count!"

"Excuse me?" Parad asked angrily.

Taiga hesitated. "… Okay, that could've come out better."

"It probably could have. And so could this!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, gesturing at the monitor, which changed to show a perfectly average-looking man leaving a grocery store, full shopping bags in either hand. "This is Keita Amano."

They waited a moment. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said nothing further. "And?" Emu prompted.

"And what?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked.

"Aren't you going to tell us about him? Like, if he's in a shitty position, if things are looking up or down for him, something that makes us care about him as an individual and make him more than just a random bystander?" Kiriya inquired.

"Not really. He's completely average, dull, mediocre, and unassuming in every way. He's just a guy, really," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said with a shrug.

"Not cool!" Parad cried, disgusted.

Nico nodded. "Yeah, you can't say that about someone! It's a really crummy thing to say to a dude!"

"Oh for the love of… I'm _evil_! You really think I care about being polite?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "In any event, while Keita himself is totally average, I promise you the Bugster he's about to spawn is anything but!"

…

Keita paused for a minute, his face twisting in pain. "Oh boy… That doesn't feel right… I knew I shouldn't have eaten that old burrito…gkkk…nnnf…"

He bent over double, dropping his grocery bags as he let loose a massive fart so powerful it ripped a hole in his pants, orange goo splattering against the windows behind him. All the other shoppers looked at him in disgust and disbelief. Keita blushed. "Oops?"

…

Everyone on the stage looked at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD in disgust in disbelief. "Seriously?" Asked a repulsed Emu.

"I didn't think you were low enough to stoop to toilet humor, Kuroto," said a disappointed Parad.

"No thank you," Hiiro agreed.

"I don't control where they come out!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

…

"Oh wow, did I really do that?" Asked a shocked Keita, staring at the orange mass of slime. "… And what did I eat to make it that color?"

He started and stumbled back, tripping over his dropped groceries and falling on his (exposed) rear as the orange mass bubbled and rose up, coalescing to form a towering blue armored figure with large gold circles in the center of its chest and upper legs, bladed blue and gold wings with what looked like metal spokes instead of feathers, pauldrons resembling shark heads with springs growing from the top, a wicked curved blade in one hand, a tattered half-cape hanging around its waist, and a tall pointed spike growing from the top of its head encircled by a spoked halo. The monster grunted and looked around slowly as the bystanders screamed and ran away in terror and Keita whimpered and crawled away on his back from the beast.

…

"That's Gamedeus!" Cried the horrified Taiga.

"Or a new variant, it would seem," Hiiro observed.

"Oh come on, we already dealt with him today!" Kiriya protested.

"You did?" Asked the surprised Nico.

"Well, we fought Burgermon who'd accidentally infected himself with some Gamedeus strain, which still counts. Sort of," Emu said.

"At least there don't seem to be any burgers on this guy," Parad said in relief.

"So, who's going to take this one?" Nico asked.

"Well, assuming Emu is still not allowed…" Hiiro said questioningly.

"He is not," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD confirmed.

"Then I'll take this one. Thanks to my new level 1000 form, I should be able to take down Gamedeus with minimal difficulty," Hiiro decided.

"You probably could. And that's why you aren't going," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered.

Hiiro scowled. "Somehow, this doesn't surprise me."

"Then I'll handle-" Kiriya began.

"No, you just got back from a tough fight! I'll take this," Parad said decisively.

"No, neither of you can go either," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, much their surprise.

"Then I guess it's up to me," Taiga said grimly.

"Nope, you're staying here too," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD corrected him.

"What? Why the hell not?!" Taiga protested.

"To be fair, you'd probably have gotten creamed if you went, given you're like the second or third weakest of us," Parad told him.

"Will you cut it out with that?!" Taiga snapped.

"None of you can fight this Bugster because all of you have already gone before," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD explained.

"… That doesn't make any sense. If none of us can go, then who's supposed to fight this Bugster?" Asked the confused Emu.

Without warning, a spotlight shone down on Nico. "Why, Nico Saiba, of course," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said with malicious glee.

"Uh-oh," Parad said after a moment.

"… Oh, shit," Nico swore.

"No! She can't go!" Taiga protested in horror. "She's not nearly strong or experienced enough to fight Gamedeus!"

"Normally I would take offense to that, if you weren't absolutely right," Nico said in alarm. "I may be a Genius Gamer, but I'm way too underleveled to fight a final boss like that so soon! The last time I tried, I nearly got killed!"

"You can't go anyway," Hiiro pointed out. "You already fought against Revol and his army, so by Kuroto's-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD interjected.

"Own rules, you're ineligible," Hiiro concluded.

"On the contrary!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD corrected him. "When Nico interfered, she was not yet part of my game. The instant she came back here with Taiga, however, she became another player, and so eligible to go out and fight against my Bugsters."

Taiga frowned. "That seems like an excuse you made up just now to justify sending her out to her death."

"Taiga! I'm insulted! Do you really think I would be so petty as do something like that?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cried, indignant.

"Yes," everyone said bluntly.

"Yeah, fair enough," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD admitted. "Still, there's nothing you can do about it, unless you WANT that patient to die…"

"… Lousy fucking piece of shit. Fine," Nico spat. "I'll go."

Taiga's head snapped to look at her so fast he nearly got whiplash. "What? Nico, no, you don't have to-"

"Yeah, I can just teleport right over there and-" Parad started.

"Do it, and I'll trigger that new epidemic!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD threatened.

Parad grit his teeth. "You know, once upon a time, I wouldn't have really cared about something like that. You're very lucky that Emu taught me the value of human life."

"And from my perspective, you're an idiot for buying into something like that and letting it stop you from doing what's necessary," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered.

"Nico, are you sure?" Emu asked in concern.

Nico sighed wearily. "I don't really think we have much choice in the matter. And unfortunately, I've also come to learn the value of human life, so I can't just stand back and do nothing. If I'm really the only person who can do anything to help… Even if I'm scared of facing Gamedeus. Like, super-duper terrified. But I can't let that stop me from doing what's needed of me. If I didn't, what sort of Kamen Rider would I be?"

Hiiro nodded in approval. "Well said."

"Nico…" Taiga murmured.

"Don't worry," Kiriya said, slapping his friend on the shoulder. "She'll be fine. You're not going to be a widower just yet."

"We aren't even married!" Taiga shouted. "Or dating! Because I'm not into her!"

"I don't believe you," Parad said. Taiga groaned.

"Nico, if you're really doing this, you're going to need every advantage you can get," Emu said, handing her a Gashat.

Nico examined it. "Doctor Mighty XX?"

"It's super-effective against the Gamedeus virus. We've been constantly updating it over the years to make sure it's good against any mutations or new versions of the virus," Emu explained. "This should help bring him down to your level, or at the very least make him easier for you to beat."

"And if he should change into his giant form, remember that he's basically nothing more than a glorified Bugster Union and shifting down to your Level 1 form will make you more effective," Parad added.

Nico nodded gratefully. "Thanks, guys. This should make things a bit easier."

"Hey, Kuroto-" Kiriya started.

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD interjected.

"How's it feel to know that the Gashat you lost almost 80 lives trying to create is going to be used against you?" The medical examiner jeered.

"… I'd honestly forgotten you still had that thing," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled. He pressed a button on his console, and a warp point appeared. "Nico, this will take you to the boss stage. Prepare yourself, for this will be a battle unlike any other!"

Nico narrowed her eyes. "I'm ready. I've been training for this for the last couple of years." She glanced back at the others. "When I get back, pizza is on me."

"Sweet! More pizza!" Parad said eagerly.

"Nico!… Be careful!" Taiga pleaded.

Nico smirked. "I've got nothing to worry about, Taiga. After all, I'm the Genius Gamer N! And when I get back… Maybe I'll even give you a kiss!"

Taiga stiffened. Parad and Kiriya started crooning, "Ooooooooooooohhhhh!"

"Wait, what?!" Taiga screeched.

Nico blew him a kiss and stepped backwards into the warp point. "Be back soon, lover boy!"

"GAIMDAMMIT NICO SAIBA GET BACK HERE THIS INST-"

…

Meanwhile, on the DenLiner…

"All right, buster, talk! Tell me what you know!" Momotaros snarled, shining a light into the face of their current "guest," Masaru Aso.

Masaru flinched and shielded his face from the light. "About what? You haven't even asked me anything yet! I don't even know why I'm here! And could you please get that light out of my face?"

"Don't play games with us! You know what you did!" The red oni growled.

"I really don't! I haven't done anything!" Masaru insisted. "No, really, I'm serious here. I barely see any action. I haven't gotten to do anything since the Badan incursion in Zawame. I spend most of my day next to the phone desperately hoping some other Rider will call me up for a team up or something." He hung his head sadly. "Most of them have stopped returning my calls…"

"Recently, Kamen Riders have been disappearing from history," Urataros explained calmly, jerking the light out of Momotaros' hand and switching the lights on to make the interrogation room brighter. "Someone or something has been erasing them so thoroughly that it's as if their adventures never took place. Their alter egos are still around, but it's as if the events that led them to become Riders in the first place, the evil organizations or villains whom they were created to stop, never existed."

Masaru blinked in surprise. "Really? I didn't notice anything like that… Which… Would make sense if they were being erased from history…" He gasped. "Oh no! Is _that_ why I haven't had any adventures in years, and even then, I've only been a small part of larger team ups? That would explain so much!"

"No, it's only Heisei Riders who've been disappearing," Urataros corrected him.

"And the reason you haven't been on adventures in years is because you're a one-shot loser nobody cares about," Momotaros sneered.

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Urataros chided his partner.

"I'm just being honest," Urataros protested.

Masaru's face fell. "O-oh. I guess that makes sense…"

"Which is exactly why you've got to be the one behind us! You've got the motive!" Momotaros growled, slamming his fist on the table.

"Wh-what do you mean?!" Masaru stammered.

"Isn't it obvious? You're one of the most overlooked and neglected Riders of all time, second only to Shin!" Momotaros asserted.

"What about J?" Urataros asked.

"How could anyone overlook J? Guy's huge!" Momotaros countered. "All the Heisei Riders are getting more attention from you old-school Showa guys these days, so you figured that if you removed them from history, you'd finally have a chance to be remembered and have the great heroic adventures you've always wanted!" Momotaros declared.

"That's just not true!" Masaru protested.

"So you're saying that you _don't_ envy the younger Riders?" Momotaros asked pointedly.

"No!… Well, okay, I guess I do a bit… But I still didn't do it! Even if I wanted to, I don't have the means! I can't time travel!" Masaru insisted.

Momotaros snorted. "Please, time travel is absurdly easy these days. Can't walk 10 feet without tripping over a random time portal or machine or individual who just so happens to have the ability to travel through time."

"That's overstating it a bit, but my partner is correct in stating that time travel isn't as difficult as it used to be," Urataros elaborated. "It's certainly giving the time police plenty to do."

"Lousy fascist pigs," Momotaros muttered.

On the other side of the one-way glass, Reiji scowled.

"Look, what makes you so sure it's me, anyway?" Masaru demanded.

"Our latest Intel suggests that a Rider going by the name of 'Zi-O' has something to do with all of these temporal anomalies," Urataros explained.

"And what was your Rider name again?" Momotaros sneered.

Masaru frowned in puzzlement. "What? You got the wrong guy! I'm ZO, not Zi-O!"

The Imagin exchanged confused looks. "Right, that's what we just said," Urataros said. "You're Zi-O."

"No, not Zi-O, ZO!" Masaru corrected him.

"That's what I just _said_ , Zi-O," Urataros repeated, starting to get annoyed.

"No, _not_ Zi-O, _ZO!"_ Masaru yelled.

"I just _said_ -" Urataros snapped.

"Who's on first!" Ryutaros shouted, poking his head into the room.

Everyone gave him confused looks. "What?" Momotaros asked finally.

The purple Dragon snickered. "No, what's on second!"

"The fuck are you talking about?!" Momotaros demanded.

Ryutaros pouted. "Awww, you ruined the bit!"

" _GET OUT_!" the oni shouted. The Dragon quickly complied.

"Look, there's been a misunderstanding," Masaru insisted. "You have the wrong Rider. You're looking for someone who's name is pronounced 'Zee-Oh.' _My_ name is 'Zeeto-Oh.'"

"… What? That makes no damn sense!" Momotaros protested. "Your name is spelled as ZO!"

"Yes, and 555 is pronounced as Faiz, W as Double, OOO as 'Ohze, ZX as 'Zee-Cross,' and so on," Masaru pointed out.

"Oh! I see now!" Urataros realized. "Since this is a work of literature, we had no way of knowing that the way it's spelled isn't the way it sounds!"

"Wait, you mean, we've got the wrong guy?!" Momotaros cried, upset.

"It would seem so. Our apologies, Mister Aso. You're free to go," Urataros said, bowing his head in apology.

"Wait, you're going to let him go just like that?!" Tsukasa demanded, barging into the interrogation room.

"He obviously didn't do it," Urataros said with a shrug.

"Yeah, dude's innocent," Momotaros grunted reluctantly.

"You locked me in here for hours, psychologically torturing me to the brink of madness, all while I declared my innocence!" Tsukasa yelled shrilly. "And you're going to just let him off that easily?!"

"Hey Aso, when's the last time you tried to take over and/or destroy the world?" Momotaros asked Masaru.

"Never," Masaru said.

The Imagin gave Tsukasa meaningful looks. Tsukasa cursed. "I am never going to live that down…"

"We'll stop making fun of you for it when you stop doing it all the time," Urataros said gently.

"Nah, we'll keep making fun of you anyway," Momotaros said truthfully. Tsukasa groaned.

"So, I don't suppose I could stay to help or anything?" Masaru asked hopefully.

"We'll call you if we need you," Urataros promised.

"Except we won't," Momotaros said honestly.

Masaru's face fell. "Guess it's another lonely night of TV dinner and reruns for ol' Masaru. Well, at least I'm not Shin."

…

The grotesque Shin Kazamatsuri, huddled beneath a tattered blanket on a street corner, holding up a cardboard sign saying 'WILL COSTAR OR CAMEO FOR FOOD,' sneezed.

…

Nico materialized before the grocery store. "All right, Gamedeus, I didn't get the chance to beat you before, so now… Wait, where did he go?" She glanced around, noticing that the Bugster was nowhere to be found. The terrified civilians were starting to slowly come out from hiding, and Keita was on the ground, groaning as his body started flickering.

Nico knelt before the infected man's side. Up close, it was even more evident just how average he was, she was staring right at him and she couldn't really make out any distinguishing features. "Mister Amano, my name is Nico Saiba, and I'm a Kamen Rider nurse-in-training. You've been infected by a particularly dangerous strain of the Bugster virus. Did you see where the monster that came out of you went?"

"He stole a bike and rode off in that direction," Keita said, pointing down the street. His voice was so dull and nondescript Nico had to struggle to pay attention to what he was saying.

The young woman frowned. "A bike? Crap. I don't suppose there's a Kougami-brand vending machine around here, is there? I've never actually driven a motorcycle outside of video games, but it can't be that hard, right?"

"A motorcycle? That seems like overkill," Keita said, looking puzzled. "He only rode off on a sports bike."

Nico stared at the patient in confusion. "A sports bike? The hell is Gamedeus doing riding around on a sports bike?… And for that matter, why is he on a bike at all? The dude's a final boss, that seems a little beneath him."

"Hey!" One of the bystanders spoke up, indignant. "It was a high-end sports bike! Really pricey, too! If you're going after him, I want it back in one piece, you here?"

"I'll see what I can do," Nico said in annoyance. A man's life was at stake, that was a bit more important than a sports bike, wasn't it? (Now, if it'd been a videogame console, on the other hand…). "I'm going to need a bike of my own if I'm going to catch up. So, like I was saying a minute ago, are there any Kougami-brand vending machines around here?"

"I think there's a few about 10 blocks that way," a woman said helpfully, pointing in the exact opposite direction of where Nico needed to go.

"… Yeah, that's not going to cut it," Nico said, disgruntled. She pressed a switch on her Gamer Driver.

ERROR!

"Yeah, that's what I thought," she groaned.

It was then that she noticed a little girl walking by with a small pink tricycle festooned with streamers, glitter, and stickers. For some reason, the girl was wearing a full-head mask that made her look like she was a pig. Nico thought that was a bit strange at first, but then reminded herself that this was Japan, and cosplayers were getting younger and younger every year.

Staring at the tricycle, she was then struck by a sudden possibility. "… No. No way. I am _not_ doing it," she said firmly. Keita groaned, turning slightly transparent. "… Fuck."

Before she could talk herself out of it, she ran over to the girl and ripped the tricycle out of her grip. "Hey!"

"Sorry, Kamen Rider business, I have to borrow the tricycle, promise I'll bring it back later, bye!" Nico yelled as she pedaled off as fast as she could, feeling incredibly awkward due to the tricycle being several sizes too small for her and her knees nearly hitting her chin with each revolution. "So humiliating…"

…

Everyone stared at Nico's rather humiliating bike theft awkwardly for a moment.

"… Well, that's embarrassing," said an embarrassed Emu.

"We're never going to let her live this down, are we?" Taiga questioned.

"Nope," Kiriya said smugly.

Taiga grinned, glad that the shoe was finally on the other foot. (Wait, did I use that right?) "Good."

…

As she pedaled with all her might, Nico pulled out a Gashat.

 _ **BANG BANG SHOOTING!**_

"Game start! Henshin!" She declared, slotting the Gashat into her Gamer Driver.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| LEVEL UP! |**

 **| BA-BA-BANG! BANG-BA-BANG! YOW! BANG BANG SHOOTING! |**

A neon yellow panel formed before her and she rolled her tricycle right through it, her Shooting Gamer Level 2 armor materializing on her. "Transcendent! Strongest! Genius! Kamen Rider… Nico Snipe arrives!" She declared triumphantly. "… That probably would've been a lot cooler if I weren't on a little kid's tricycle…" She muttered to herself.

Back at the grocery store, the pig girl was crying. Someone rushed out of the store and came over to her. "Are you all right? What's wrong?"

The girl sniffled, glanced up at the newcomer and did a double-take. "I-it's you! You're one of the monarchs!"

"That's what they call me. You're crying. What's going on?" The 'monarch' asked urgently.

"Some weird girl stole my tricycle! She claimed she needed it for superhero business, and rode off without even asking for permission!" The girl said indignantly.

"In her defense, she had to chase after a monster that burst out of my body," Keita said helpfully. "Also, I'm dying, so hopefully she takes care of the monster soon."

"A tricycle thief chasing after a monster? Don't worry, my friends and I will get to the bottom of this," the 'monarch' promised, taking out a cube-shaped device and flipping it open. "Guys? Get over here, we may have a situation on our hands."

Unaware of this, Nico, pedaling faster on a tricycle than would normally be humanly possible thanks to the power of her Rider form, quickly caught up to Gamedeus, looking oddly comical pedaling frantically on a sports bike, although Nico supposed she wasn't in any place to judge. Nico loaded Doctor Mighty XX into her Gashacon Magnum and fired a warning shot over the Bugster's shoulder, startling him. "Oy! Pull over! That doesn't belong to you! Granted, neither does this tricycle, but the sooner I get both of these things back to their rightful owners, the better!"

"I can't!" Gamedeus replied, much to her surprise. "I have to get back to work right away, there's a big delivery waiting for me, and if I don't get it to the customer in time, it will be free, and my perfect delivery record will be ruined!"

Nico blinked. "Wait a minute… That voice…" She took a more careful look at the final boss Bugster. This variant of Gamedeus wasn't just a different color, but it also had a face somewhat resembling a shark. In fact, if she didn't know better, she'd say it looked like… "Charlie?!"

…

"Charlie?!" Everyone cried in disbelief.

"Oddly enough, it makes sense. After all, all of the other Bugsters we've seen so far are combinations of different game data," Hiiro speculated.

"But why put Charlie and Gamedeus together? They have nothing in common!" Said the confused Emu.

"Neither did any of the Bugsters," Taiga pointed out.

"No, each of them was made from two games utilized by one of us," Parad countered. "But nobody has a combination of Shakariki Sports and Kamen Rider Chronicle. Well, I guess Kuroto-"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD interjected.

"Did, but not at the same time!" The reformed Bugster pointed out.

Kiriya facepalmed. "… This is because you had to pay Charlie full price for all that pizza, isn't it?"

"He cheated! There's no way he could possibly have gotten here so quickly!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted, causing everyone to groan.

"Are you _really_ this petty?" Asked an incredulous Emu.

"Are you _really_ surprised that I am?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD retorted, and Emu had to confess that he wasn't.

…

Charlie, or rather, _Gamedeus_ Charlie glanced over his shoulder at Nico and yelped. "Ack! Snipe!… Why are you riding a little girl's tricycle?"

"Because it seemed faster than transforming into a tank," Nico replied.

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. I'm not Snipe, I'm Nico Snipe," Nico clarified.

"Oh, Snipe's sidekick!" Charlie realized.

"I'm not his… Nevermind. Look, pull over!" Nico insisted.

"I can't!" Charlie protested. "I have to get back to work! We got a call for a sizable delivery, and I was just about to head out on my bike, and suddenly I found myself at that grocery store, looking like this! I really didn't mean to steal that bike, but if I don't get back to the restaurant and deliver those pizzas on time, I could get in big trouble! I don't want to lose this job! Look, you can have the bike once I'm back at the restaurant, but I can't stop-"

"Charlie, the reason you're like this is because Kuroto-" Nico interrupted.

…

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD interjected.

…

"Infected some guy with a combination of the Shakariki Sports and Kamen Rider Chronicle strains of the Game Illness, and he's going to die if I don't stop you," Nico explained.

"Stop me from doing what?! I'm not even doing anything! I'm a good Bugster now, remember?!" Charlie spluttered in protest. "…Bike theft notwithstanding!"

Nico bit her lip. "Yeah, well… Unfortunately, even if you aren't doing anything bad, your very _existence_ is killing this guy."

Charlie moaned. "Oh no… No no no no no… I can't have someone's death on my conscience! Plus, I'll DEFINITELY get fired if I commit a murder! Nobody will hire me again!"

"Look, we don't have to make a big deal out of this," Nico urged the Bugster. "Just let me delete you. The patient will be cured, and then you can just respawn good as new from 'Let's Make Bugsters-'"

"Do you have any idea how long that'll take?!" Charlie cried. "I'm going to miss _so much_ work! I don't have enough sick days for that! I'm gonna lose my job! And I _need_ this job!"

"… Shit," Nico cursed. She tapped the side of her head. "Guys? Any suggestions?"

…

"Don't worry, there's an easy way we can settle this," Taiga said into his phone. "I'm putting you on speaker."

"Nico, after Poppy and Parad were both killed when they used Doctor Mighty XX-" Emu began.

Parad shuddered. " _Not_ a pleasant experience."

"We were able to reprogram it so it _only_ targets Gamedeus cells and leaves other cells or coding alone, so if anyone else, Bugster or otherwise, got infected, the Gashat's power would only delete the malicious code," Emu continued.

"It's how we were able to beat Burgermon earlier today after he got infected without having to kill him," Kiriya spoke up.

"If you hit Charlie with a full-power finishing move using Doctor Mighty XX, it should cure him as well as save the patient, and give him more than enough time to get back to his restaurant before he gets in trouble," Hiiro explained.

…

"Copy that," Nico said. "Okay, Charlie, good news! I don't need to kill you."

"Oh, thank Miyamoto," Charlie said in relief.

She aimed her gun at him. "Now I'm just going to need you to pull over and stand real still for a minute."

"W-wait! I thought you weren't going to kill me!" Charlie cried in alarm.

"I'm not. I'm just going to blast the Gamedeus right out of you. Shouldn't hurt a bit," Nico said confidently.

"… You sure about that?" Charlie asked dubiously.

"Positive!" Nico said cheerfully.

…

"… _Will_ it hurt?" Taiga asked the others. They shrugged.

…

"Well… Okay, if you're sure…" Charlie muttered uneasily. He pulled his bike over to the side of the road and hopped off.

Nico got off the tricycle, paused to stretch her cramped legs for a moment, and then switched her magnum to its rifle mode and started powering it up.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ DOCTOR MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

Nico began to squeeze the trigger…

And Charlie screamed in agony, doubling over in pain and clutching himself. "Dude, chill, I didn't even shoot you yet," Nico complained.

"It's not that…agh! Something's wrong with… My body!" Charlie moaned, his flesh rippling and bulging, eyes opening all over his body and swiveling around before subsuming back into his skin. His arms elongated and flopped around bonelessly before reverting back to normal. His legs stiffened, closing together and growing sharper before splitting apart again. The Bugster howled, clearly in agonizing pain.

"… Oh, shit, he's about to transform," Nico swore, horrified.

…

"Kuroto!" Taiga shouted furiously as Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD entered several commands onto a holographic console.

"Please, did you really think I'd let it end that easily?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

…

An alarmed Nico took several steps back as Charlie, his body swelling and pixelating grotesquely, grew bigger and bigger, becoming at least two stories tall. His lower body turned into the blade of a great sword. His arms became lengthy segmented appendages ending in snapping shark heads. His wings grew larger, the spokes elongating and growing spikes, as did the springs on his shoulders and his horn. His body rippled, and several sets of massive eyes opened on both sides of his arms, his chest, his shoulders, and extending from either side of his head. The horrific Super Gamedeus Charlie roared, shattering the windows of the surrounding buildings as a tremendous Game Area formed around it, the force of its generation nearly knocking Nico off her feet. As she got her bearings, she stared up at the giant Bugster, its arms snaking about, its many eyes wriggling before focusing on her with a baleful gaze…

And she laughed, pulling a lever on her Driver.

| CLICK AND CLOSE! |

Shifting down to her bulky, chibified Level 1 Form, she declared, "Okay, you know what? You want to do this? Fine! Let's do this!" She cocked her gun. "I got robbed of my chance to beat the final boss of Kamen Rider Chronicle a couple of years ago, and had to let my friends do it for me… And I'm not going to let this second chance slip by me!" She pointed dramatically at the abomination. "I'm going to beat you, and save the patient… BOTH of them! So Charlie, if you can hear me in there, don't worry, you're not going to be like that for long… And Kuroto, who I KNOW is listening, once I'm done here, I'm going to ram my magnum up your ass and fire it until you're spitting energy bullets!"

…

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD reflexively clutched his buttocks. "… That was a needlessly vulgar threat. And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD! _And stop laughing at me_!" He shrieked at the others, who were indeed snickering.

"No," Hiiro said.

…

Charlie howled, his many eyes convulsing and crackling with energy as they fixed their gaze on Nico. She snorted. "Really? We're doing this? I thought better of you, Kuroto… No wait, that's a lie, this is exactly the sort of thing I should know to expect from you by now." She aimed her magnum at one of the eyes on the giant monster's chest, sighting along the barrel. "Because, for all your talk of creating 'original' bosses with innovative designs, you still fall back on giving this one the same kind of weakness that gamers have known to look out for for generations…"

…

"No… Nooooo…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD whispered in horror.

"What is she talking about?" Asked the confused Taiga.

Parad shook his head in disappointment. "Amateur. Isn't it obvious?"

Emu nodded. "When in doubt…"

…

"ALWAYS GO FOR THE EYE!" Nico declared, pulling the trigger and firing an energy bullet right through the eye she'd been aiming at, causing it to explode. Charlie recoiled and howled in pain, the energy he'd been building up discharging harmlessly.

…

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cried in despair. "How did she know?!"

"Seriously? It's kind of obvious in retrospect," said an incredulous Kiriya.

"It's a wonder we never thought of that before, honestly," Hiiro noted.

"Why did you give him that weakness? I mean seriously, you're just asking for him to be beaten easily!" Parad demanded.

"As I've mentioned before, I don't exactly have access to the same resources I did in the past!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said defensively. "I had to cut corners and could only get an incomplete sample of the Gamedeus virus, meaning I couldn't reinforce the eyeballs. I had hoped that since the other two Super Gamedeuses we've encountered in the past didn't have the eyes as a weakness, she wouldn't think that this one might be any different."

"So a double bluff," Hiiro summed up. "That's actually almost clever."

"Yeah, except not really," Kiriya spoke up. "Since that would require us to acknowledge that Kuroto sometimes has good ideas."

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, and I am the greatest genius the world has ever known!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

…

Sento Kiryu stiffened. "What's wrong, Sento?" Asked Ryuga Banjou, the genius' partner, in a completely platonic, heterosexual, totally not romantic sense.

"Banjou," Sento said gravely. "Somewhere, someone is claiming to be smarter than I am!"

Ryuga facepalmed.

…

Charlie recovered, roared, then arched his back, expelling about a dozen or so spiked bicycle wheels, which spun through the air towards Nico. Nico immediately raised her gun and blasted the wheels out of the sky in a series of rapid-fire shots, her reflexes finely tuned from countless hours spent on shooter games at the arcade, and so was nearly blindsided when one of Charlie's serpentine arms rushed towards her right side. She managed to dodge just in time, but took a glancing blow to her hip, spinning her end over end, crashing into a nearby car.

"… Ugh… Right, gotta keep an eye on the arms," she grunted as she pulled herself out of the broken vehicle. She grimaced when she noticed how low her Rider Gauge had gotten. "Whoo boy, that did a lot of damage… Right, makes sense, he's a final boss Bugster… Just gotta be more careful next time."

She yelped and jumped to the side just before Charlie's right arm slammed into the car, gripping it in its jaws. "Starting right now!" She yelped, pelting the limb's eyeballs with several shots. However, Charlie had come upon the revolutionary idea of defending his weak points by closing his eyelids, and her bullets ricocheted harmlessly off the eye covers. "Oh, come on!"

Snarling, Charlie raised the appendage clutching the car into the air, ready to bring it smashing down on her. "Wait, I can use this!"

Switching her gun to its rifle mode, she quickly targeted and fired a powerful energy blast at the vehicle's gas tank. The shot struck true and the car exploded, ripping apart Charlie's right arm jaws and destroying a few of the eyes closest to it. Pieces of shrapnel pelted the monstrous Bugster, a few of the bits of scrap lodging themselves in the monster's eyes, piercing the eyelids and rupturing the orbs within.

"Serves you right for giving this thing so many eyes, Kuroto!" Nico crowed triumphantly as Charlie convulsed in agony. "It just gives it that many more weak spots for me to take out!"

…

"Why _did_ you give it so many eyes, anyway?" Emu asked Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"I wanted it to look scary!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said defensively. "You know, like a good final boss should be! I mean, let's be honest, with fewer eyes, Super Gamedeus is certainly unnerving, but not quite as unsettling, right? Everyone gets creeped out by things with tons of eyes were they don't belong!"

"… Yeah, okay, I'll give him that much," Kiriya said reluctantly.

…

Snarling angrily, Charlie crouched briefly, and then leapt into the air, ripping its giant sword lower half out of the ground as it soared skywards. "… Oh crap, I think I know where this is going," Nico cursed, raising her gun and firing several shots at the giant Bugster as it flew higher and higher…

And then, inevitably, began to descend. "Shitshitshit… Okay Nico, this is classic boss strategy, you see something big falling towards you, look for the shadow of where it's going to land, and _make absolutely sure you're not there_!"

Nico glanced at the ground. She was engulfed in the monster's shadow. "Aw crap."

She frantically rolled out of the way just as Charlie slammed back into the ground, piercing the street with his blade and setting off a massive shockwave, tearing up the asphalt as explosions and bursts of energy erupted all over the place. Nico was sent flying as the piece of ground she had been standing on was launched skywards, yelping in alarm… But immediately took advantage of her air time to spin around and fired several shots at Charlie, rupturing a few more of the eyes on his torso and left arm.

Snarling angrily, Charlie lashed out with his left arm, jaws opening wide to swallow Nico whole. Realizing there was no way to evade this attack, she braced herself. "This is _really_ gonna suck…" She moaned.

Charlie's mouth slammed shut over her. There was a gulping noise as she was swallowed down the appendage's throat. Charlie grinned viciously…

Only for his many eyes to blink in confusion as his arms started trembling. Suddenly, the limb was rocked with several blue explosions, eyeballs bursting in showers of sparks and data, segment after segment of the appendage vaporizing in azure conflagrations.

Howling triumphantly at the top of her lungs, Nico exploded out of the left side of Charlie's chest, firing her gun repeatedly as she tumbled out towards the ground below, most of her shots going wild, but a few putting out more of the giant Bugster's eyes.

Landing, she glanced up at the monster and screamed, "Really?! _Swallowing me_?! _WHEN DOES THAT_ _ **EVER**_ _WORK?!"_

…

"Actually, it often does work, but I can see where she's coming from," Parad commented.

"How come you never tried that when you get absorbed by Johnny Maxima?" Emu asked his partner.

"… Didn't occur to me?" The Bugster confessed, somewhat embarrassed.

"Dude, did you teach her that? Because if you did, my respect for you may actually go up a notch," Kiriya told the former radiologist.

"As much as I'd like to take credit, no, I didn't… Wait, your respect for me wasn't high already?" Taiga asked.

Kiriya responded by bursting into laughter.

…

Charlie doubled over in pain, moaning and coughing up data as what was left of his left arm derezzed, the edges of the gaping wound Nico had left in his chest glitching and flickering. "Sorry about this, Charlie," Nico said apologetically. She glanced down at her Rider gauge and winced upon seeing how it had gotten considerably lower. "This is hurting me too, buddy. You know, this would be a lot easier if you just gave up and let me finish you."

In response, Charlie roared and swept what was left of his right arm across the ground at her. Nico leaped out of the way, peppering the Bugster's central body with her gun while diving through the air, but Charlie quickly raised his remaining appendage and shut his eyes to shield himself, then launched himself into the air with a flap of his great wings, spinning about and launching dozens upon dozens of bicycle wheels through the air, the spiked discs whizzing as they homed in on Nico.

The Rider ran and dodged to the best of her ability, using all of her experience in first-person shooters to shoot as many of the wheels out of the air as she could before they could hit her, using whatever cover she had at hand to protect herself. Even so, it wasn't enough, and more than a few wheels slammed into her, exploding and causing sparks to cascade off her form, lowering her Gauge even further.

Suddenly, noticing the sky had gotten a lot darker, she looked up and saw that Charlie was plunging towards her blade-first, and there was no way she could get out of his shadow in time. Thinking quickly, she jumped on top of a nearby car and leaped from there towards a nearby building, grabbing an awning and flipping herself onto it, then jumping off just as Charlie slammed into the ground, his blade piercing the street and releasing another pavement-shattering shockwave.

As the face of the building behind her collapsed, the Rider arced through the air towards Charlie, shifting her gun into rifle mode. Spotting her, Charlie tried to lift his arm to block her, but he was too late, and before he knew it, Nico had shoved the muzzle of her gun into one of the eyes on the panel jutting from the side of his head, squeezing the trigger and firing a point-blank blast that obliterated it and the rest of the panel, as well as blasting out a chunk of the side of the monster's head.

As Charlie threw his head back, howling in agony, the recoil from the blast flung Nico backwards, slamming into the monster's flailing limb. She quickly grabbed hold of the edge of one of the segments to keep from slipping off, yelping as she was wildly flung about. "Oh great, motion sickness… Really hope I don't throw up in my mask…"

The right side of his face glitching and derezzing, Charlie snarled when he noticed Nico was hanging onto his arm and raised it into the air. Realizing what was about to happen, Nico quickly pointed her blaster downward and started charging up a shot, firing just as Charlie swung his arm – – and her – – towards the ground. The shotgun blast hit the pavement and exploded seconds before the appendage struck the ground, seemingly crushing her beneath it.

Grinning, Charlie raised his arm… And blinked his multiple eyes when he saw there was a large hole in the ground, a pit blasted into the street by Nico's gun. Confused, he bent over to gaze into the hole, expecting to see the Rider hiding in it…

And Nico, who'd been clinging to the arm the whole time, having survived being crushed thanks to her body fitting – – just barely – – into the hole she'd blasted in the ground, pulled herself up on the top of Charlie's appendage and ran down its length, firing blasts from her Magnum into the remaining eyes on either side, blue explosions erupting down its length. Charlie howled in pain and alarm and tried to fling her off, but before he could, Nico took aim and fired a blast into the large eye taking up most of his shoulder, destroying it in a single shot and causing his entire right arm to break off at the shoulder, the serpentine appendage collapsing to the ground and disintegrating.

Now limbless, missing part of his face and chest and most of his eyes put out, Charlie uttered a piteous moan and sagged upon himself, his body crackling and glitching out all over. Nico brushed herself off from where she'd fallen after blasting off the right arm and took aim. "Sorry about all this, Charlie. Don't worry, it'll be over soon."

Nico switched her magnum to its rifle mode and started powering it up.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ DOCTOR MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

Nico began to squeeze the trigger…

When, without warning, a tremendous blast of energy burst out from Charlie's crumbling form, knocking her off her feet and putting her Rider Gauge into the red. "Gaaaah! What the-"

Charlie screeched, wriggling about as his flesh rippled and crawled across his frame, his body turning from blue to black. His destroyed eyes regenerated, with extras popping up all over his body. His back burst open, more wings jutting out at all angles. Several horns sprouted from his head at odd angles. His shoulder stumps trembled before bursting outwards as new arms extended, identical to the old ones, except the material looked harder, was covered in spikes, and his mouths were now clutching a pair of DeuSlasher swords. He swiped the swords through the air, energy blades spiraling outwards and slashing through the surrounding buildings, windows shattering and the street tearing up, powerful energy waves emanating from his regenerated form.

Nico stared up at the mutated Charlie, a look of exhaustion and frustration on her face beneath her mask. "… A second phase. Of COURSE he's got a second phase."

…

"… Well that's new," Kiriya said after a moment, everyone staring at Charlie's new form in alarm.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD burst into hysterical laughter. "You fools! This was my plan all along! I _intentionally_ made the eyes Charlie's weakness to make you all think he could be taken down easily, so Nico would use up most of her strength on the first stage and be caught totally off guard by the second one! Well, that, and I needed to free up some assets to actually make room for a second form."

"She can still beat this," Emu affirmed, shooting an angry look at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. "She's almost as good a gamer as I am."

" _Hey, what do you mean_ almost _?!"_ Nico demanded.

"It doesn't matter how good a gamer she is, her health is currently in critical condition," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD pointed out. "And thanks to the jamming field, her Driver won't automatically revert her back to normal if she takes a fatal blow. And since she isn't fortunate enough to have extra lives like myself… Well, one false move, and it could be all over for Nico Saiba, and even the best gamers occasionally slip up against the really hard bosses."

Taiga trembled with rage. "Kuroto… If Nico dies, then-"

"We'll have Dr. Yaotome restore her along with everyone else," Kiriya interrupted. He shot Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, a cold look. "You, of course, won't be there to see it, Kuroto."

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD just laughed. "Haven't you imbeciles learned by now that I can never die? And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"Things are not as dire as they might seem," Hiiro interrupted. "The most recent update to Doctor Mighty XX should see to that."

Kiriya gave the surgeon a confused look. "Most recent… Oh! Yeah, that should even the odds!"

"What update? What are you talking about?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded.

"Nico, Doctor Mighty XX isn't just good against the Gamedeus strain," Emu informed the junior Rider. "If you use it on yourself, it can restore your Rider Gauge to full."

"WHAT?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked, outraged. "I was not informed of this! I did not authorize this modification to the Gashat I used up so many of my lives creating!"

" _Seriously?! I've been sitting on a full heal this whole time, and you guys didn't think to mention it before now?!"_ Nico demanded, furious.

"It's healing function can be only used once per battle," Hiiro explained. "Otherwise, it's data would be corrupted and render it useless."

"You know, to keep it from being totally broken," Parad added.

" _Oh yeah, that makes sense,"_ Nico agreed. _"Gotta give something as strong as that a lengthy cooldown to keep things balanced. How do I use it?"_

"Since you've already got it in your gun, if you shoot yourself with it, that should do the trick," Taiga explained.

"… _Let me get this straight. You want me to shoot myself in the head… And it will restore me to full health?"_ Nico asked in disbelief.

"… When she puts it like that, it does sound kind of counterintuitive," Kiriya admitted.

"Think of it as being like an Evoker! Except that instead of summoning a Persona, you'll be healing yourself instead!… So, nothing like an Evoker," Parad added.

"Wonder what our Personas would be," Emu mused.

" _Oh my gosh, this is so cool! I have a healing shiv!"_ Nico gushed.

"What? No you don't, you have a gun," said the confused Taiga.

"A healing shiv is a catch-all term for any weapon or tool in a game or other media that has healing properties," Mizuki explained. "It doesn't have to be specifically a shiv."

"Where did the term come from?" Asked the confused Taiga.

"A popular web comic that was a loose adaptation of the first Final Fantasy game," Emu explained.

"Kind of a misleading name, isn't it?" Kiriya joked. "Given that we have like 15 numbered games and an uncountable number of spinoffs, they should really call it something else."

"Like what?" Parad asked.

"Infinite Fantasy," Hiiro suggested.

Everyone considered this for a moment. _"Shit, that's good,"_ Nico said, impressed.

"Can we get back to Nico shooting herself in the head already?" Asked an irritated Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. "Also, I'm going to copyright that name for a future game I create."

"Good luck with that," Emu said in such a manner that implied he didn't really think he would have any luck.

…

"Okay, so I just point this at my head and pull the trigger," Nico murmured, glancing at her gotten. "Just pretend that I'm summoning a Persona, not committing suicide… Though I think that was supposed to be one of the underlying reasons for the summoning method being a gun in that game… Not gonna think about that… By the way, Charlie, thank you for waiting patiently for me to do this so we can fight."

Charlie bellowed furiously and slammed his swords into the ground, throwing up chunks of pavement.

"All right, all right, just give me a minute," Nico said. She raised her gun and pointed it against her head, squeezing the trigger. "Okay, deep breath… And a one, two, three-"

"WAIT!"

Suddenly, the gun was wrenched from her hand and thrown away. "Hey, that's mine!" She protested.

Her face was suddenly filled by someone wearing a full head mask of a lion with dreadlocks who began vigorously shaking her shoulders, causing her head to flail about. "What were you thinking?! Just because you're up against a big scary monster with no hope of victory doesn't mean suicide is the only option!"

"But I wasn't-"

"No matter how hopeless it seems, you have to keep fighting! Never give up! Give it all you've got, matter what the odds might be! That's how we Sentai handle things, and it should be the way you Riders do as well!" The man in the lion mask roared into her face.

"You don't understand, I-"

"Because your life is the most precious thing you have, and you should never throw it away! Cling to it with everything you've got!" The lion man continued. "Because if you're the kind of person who'd so carelessly discard a life like that, you have no right to call yourself a hero-"

"I WASN'T TRYING TO KILL MYSELF!" Nico yelled in exasperation.

The masked man paused. "You weren't?"

"No! In its current configuration, that gun is going to heal my injuries from fighting that big ugly monster!" Nico explained.

"Oh, like a healing shiv!" A young man wearing a silver and black jacket who had been examining the gun explained.

"What? That's not a shiv, that's a gun," said a confused woman in blue wearing a full head mask resembling a shark and also had a shark tail and fin for some reason.

"According to my research, a healing shiv is a catch-all term for any weapon or tool in a game or other media that has healing properties," a man in green wearing a full-head elephant mask explained.. "It doesn't have to be specifically a shiv."

"Where did the term come from?" Asked a confused and very pretty woman in white wearing a full head tiger mask.

"A popular web comic that was a loose adaptation of the first Final Fantasy video game," the elephant man explained.

"… Are we really talking about this now?" Asked a confused older man wearing a full head bird mask and goggles.

A young man in a red jacket sighed. "Not the weirdest thing we've argued about. So you're saying this gun will help heal you, Miss…?"

"Nico Saiba, also known as the one and only Kamen Rider Nico. And who the heck are you guys?" Nico demanded.

"Seriously? You don't recognize us?" Asked the surprised lion man.

"Should I? I don't exactly pay much attention to the furry cosplay circuit," Nico said in confusion. "I mean, not that I have anything against you guys, it's just not my sort of thing, you know?"

"Furry cosplay?!" The lion man bellowed in disbelief. "We aren't humans in costume! We're Zyumans!"

There was a long pause. "… So, is that a new club or term you guys call yourselves, or…?" Nico asked finally. Everyone facefaulted.

…

Taiga facepalmed. "She _really_ needs to read the newsletter," Emu remarked.

"WHY ARE THEY HERE?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked.

"It is kind of random crossover," Taiga agreed. "I mean, the Shinkengers showed up because Motors had become a samurai, Birth and Birth Prototype were there because a Kougami Foundation employee was at risk, and the first Rider was there because of Shocker, but… What are they doing here?"

"I think the little girl Nico stole a bike from was a pig Zyuman, that's probably why they got involved," Hiiro theorized.

"Still seems a bit weird. I mean, they don't exactly have any connection with us," Taiga pressed.

"We bumped into the Tiger girl during the Cho Super Hero Taisen thing," Emu pointed out.

"Still," Taiga grumbled, not satisfied.

…

"Are you… Are you serious? You seriously don't know what we are?!" The lion man demanded in disbelief.

"Uh…"

"Zyumans? A race of anthropomorphic animals hailing from another dimension called Zyuland?" The elephant offered.

"That sounds made up," Nico accused him.

"But it's not! And our world fused with yours in 2017, and now our two species share the same planet," the Tiger insisted.

"Seriously?" Nico asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah. I mean, how else could you explain the fact that there's so many buildings now made of colorful cubes and there's so many people walking around who are clearly part-animal?" The shark woman asked, gesturing to herself and to several nearby skyscrapers, all of which looked like someone had stacked multicolored building blocks on top of each other.

"… I…uh… Thought it was some sort of new architectural fad, and that there'd been a surge in cosplay activity for some reason…" Nico trailed off, feeling deeply embarrassed by the weight of all the incredulous stares on her. "Look, I'm big into video games, I don't pay that much attention to the news, okay?!"

"You should really read the newsletter," the Tiger girl commented.

Nico sighed. "I know, I know… So, what exactly are you guys doing here again?"

"You stole a tricycle from a little piglet Zyuman, and Yamato called us to help get it back," the lion man explained.

"And to investigate a monster attack," the man in the red jacket added.

"Right, that," the lion conceded.

Nico blinked. "Piglet? Oh, right, that kid was one of you, wasn't she? Guess she's not a cosplayer after all… Look, I only took that tricycle to chase after Charlie here, I promise I'll bring it right back once we're finished here."

"Um… About that…" The man in the silver and black jacket pointed to a large chunk of debris nearby. A crumpled handlebar could be seen protruding from beneath it.

"…Gaimdammit. Okay, I'll pay for a new one," Nico said in exasperation. She glanced at the two apparent humans. "So, I can tell what animals most of you are supposed to be based off of, what about you two?"

"Oh, we're human," Yamato explained. "Well. Mostly."

"Mostly?"

"I infused him with some of my Eagle power when he was just a boy," the bird man explained.

"And I got more energy later from a gorilla Zyuman, and inherited the power of an ancient whale Zyuman," Yamato explained.

"And I was abducted by aliens and made to absorb the energy and life forces of a wolf, crocodile, and rhino Zyuman, killing them all and giving me a horrific guilt complex and hallucinations," the other human said a little too cheerfully.

"… Right. And you all thought you could help against a monster because…?" Nico asked, deciding not to touch that.

"We're the 40th Super Sentai," Yamato explained.

"Yeah, I said as much earlier! Weren't you listening?" The lion man complained.

"Sorry, must have missed that part," Nico apologized.

"That'd be a first. Leo is so loud, it's amazing that people on the other side of the planet didn't hear him going on," the shark girl snarked.

"Hey!" Leo protested as his friends chuckled.

"Right. Super Sentai. Honestly don't know why I should be surprised by this point," Nico grunted. "Well, I had things handled up until now, but I suppose if you're offering to help, I guess it'd be rude of me to turn you down."

" _Your Rider Gauge is in the red,"_ Taiga reminded her.

"I was about to fix it when these guys showed up!" She hissed back at him. "Speaking of which, my gun?"

"Huh? Oh, right!"

The young man who should probably be in a psychiatric institution handed Nico back the Magnum. Once again, she pointed it at her head. "Okay, nobody stop me this time," she warned them. And then, on a whim, she shouted, "Persona!"

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ DOCTOR MIGHTY CRITICAL CURE! }!{**

She pulled the trigger… And immediately felt a wave of calmness and positive energy washing over her, the various aches and pains and bruises she'd picked up fighting against Charlie vanishing in an instant. Her Rider Gauge flashed and suddenly refilled itself to the maximum, indicating she was once again at full health. "Wow! That felt great! Hey, the Gashat seems to have faded a bit, is that something I should worry about?"

" _No, that just means the healing function is in cooldown mode. You should still be able to use it to defeat and purify Charlie, just don't use the healing charge again,"_ Hiiro informed her.

"Understood." She glanced at the seven animal-themed heroes. "Guess it's time to get back in the fight. Are you guys ready?"

Leo laughed as he and his friends all produced colorful cubes, while the other human took out what looked like a modified flashlight. "Always! It's been ages since we last had a good fight!"

"We fought each other just the other day," the shark girl reminded him.

"Sparring doesn't count!" Leo asserted.

Those who had cubes flipped them open and pressed a sequence of buttons inside, while the other one hit the butt of his flashlight.

 **EAGLE!**

 **SHARK!**

 **LION!**

 **ELEPHANT!**

 **TIGER!**

 **BIRD!**

 **THE WORLD!**

"Wild Instinct, Awaken!"

All seven of them rotated parts of their cubes and struck a pose as their morphers glowed bright colors, cubic energy fields forming around them.

 **WHOA! RHINOS!**

At once, all seven of them were clothed in skintight outfits of non-spandex with white gloves and boots and belt buckles with roaring beasts on them. Animal faces painted themselves onto their chests in black, and helmets resembling the animals on their chests formed on their heads. Each of them struck a pose.

"Monarch of the Open Skies! Zyuoh Eagle!" Cried Yamato, resembling a red Eagle.

"Monarch of the Heavens! Zyuoh Bird!" Cried the bird man, his uniform identical to Yamato's only in orange.

"Monarch of the Wild Seas! Zyuoh Shark!" The shark girl, now clad in blue, cried.

"Monarch of the Savanna! Zyuoh Lion!" Leo, now clad in yellow, roared.

"Monarch of the Deep Forest! Zyuoh Elephant!" Trumpeted the elephant man, clad in green.

"Monarch of the Snow Fields! Zyuoh Tiger!" Purred the Tiger girl, clad in white.

"Monarch of the Earth! Zyuoh The World!" Declared the other human, his outfit a triple split between gold, black, and silver, with a black helmet and the faces of a crocodile, rhino, and wolf emblazoned on his chest.

"Monarch of Humanity! Zyuoh Hu-" an older man wearing a pink outfit with his own face on the chest started, only for Yamato to cut him off.

"Uncle Mario, we talked about this. Zyuoh Human is not, nor will it ever be a thing," the red Ranger said in exasperation.

"But I want to help!" The older man protested.

"And the best way you can help us is by going home, so we don't have to worry about your safety," the Tiger girl said sweetly.

The elephant man nodded. "Indeed, if anything were to ever happen to you, we would never forgive ourselves."

"And I already have way too much guilt on my shoulders already!" the multi-animal Ranger commented.

"He's right, he really does," Leo agreed.

"He really should see someone about that," the shark concurred.

Mario sighed. "Fine, fine, I can take the hint…" Grumbling, he walked off.

"… What was-" Nico started.

"My uncle. He means well," Yamato murmured, clearly embarrassed. "Anyway, where was… Oh, right. Dobutsu Sentai!"

The whole team struck a pose as explosions went off behind them. "Zyuohger!"

"Don't mess… With this planet!" Yamato added dramatically.

Nico applauded politely. "Where did those explosions come from?"

"… You know, we don't really know," Yamato admitted. "It's just… A thing that happens."

"Right. So. 'The World?'" Nico asked the multicolored Ranger, raising an eyebrow under her mask.

The three-animal Ranger shrugged. "I'm not the one who came up with the name, and nobody's really came up with a better one. I'm Misao, by the way. Misao Mondo."

"And the rest of us are Sela, Tusk, Amu, and Bud," the shark girl explained, pointing to herself and the remaining members of the team.

"Is 'Bud' short for 'Buddy?'" Nico asked the bird man.

"No," Bud said bluntly.

"Ah. So, with that out of the way, can we finally get back to fighting already?" Nico asked.

"Huh? Oh, right, we should probably do that," Leo realized.

"It sure was nice of the monster to wait patiently for us to finish talking and transforming without attacking us," Amu commented.

"Yeah, kind of surprised he's not in more of a hurry, given that he was so worried about getting back to his job on time before he was forcibly transformed into a giant monster," Nico agreed.

There was a pause. All of Charlie's eyes bulged at once. Shrieking in dismay, Charlie spread his wings and rose from the ground, turning and flying down the street. "…Aaaaaaaaaand I just had to open my big fat mouth," Nico groaned.

"Where does he think he's going?" Asked the confused Sela.

"Probably realized who he was messing with and decided to get out of here!" Leo boasted.

"No, I think he just forgot that he was supposed to get back to his job because he's worried he's going to get fired," Nico corrected him.

"… Wait, that thing has a job?!" Misao asked disbelief.

"That thing has a name; Charlie. And he's not normally like this, he got forcibly turned into a giant monster by a real piece of shit," Nico explained. She patted her Magnum. "My gun's been modified to turn him back to normal, but only if it's used to deal the finishing blow. Which means that if you help, you have to try not to kill him, and let me get in the last hit. We clear?"

"Understood. Yamato, we should stop him before he gets too far away," Bud said to the other avian-themed Ranger.

Yamato nodded. "Right! Everyone, Beast Unleashed!"

"Beast Unleashed!" His friends all shouted. Yamato and Bud sprouted wings from their arms, Leo and Amu grew claws, Tusk gained boots resembling elephant feet, and Sela gained a dorsal fin.

"Aim for the eyes!" Nico yelled as Yamato and Bud leaped into the air, flying after Charlie. "They're his primary weakness!" She noticed that Misao hadn't changed at all. "Aren't you going to transform?"

"No, I'm fine the way I am for now," Misao assured her.

"Come on, let's go after them!" Leo shouted.

"Way ahead of you," Sela said, submerging into the ground and swimming through the pavement as if it were water, her dorsal fin sticking out of the earth as she went.

"… How is she doing that?" Asked the puzzled Nico.

"She's a shark," Amu explained.

"That doesn't… Nevermind, not the time," Nico said, deciding to stop thinking about it. "Oh, by the way, I don't suppose any of you would happen to have some sort of trinket or power-up that could conveniently give me a new form based off your team?"

The other Rangers exchanged confused looks. "Why would we have something like that?" Asked the puzzled Tusk.

Nico sighed. "Oh well, was worth a shot. Probably for the better anyway, since I'm more effective against Charlie in my Level 1 form… Whatever. Let's go!"

As the two bird Rangers approached Charlie, the giant Bugster sensed their presence, snarled, and arced his back, firing several bicycle wheel projectiles at them. "Yamato, be careful!" Bud warned his younger companion.

"Don't worry, we've dealt with worse than this," Yamato said, drawing his Zyuoh Buster and opening fire, blasting several of the wheels out of the sky. Bud quickly followed his lead.

However, while they were distracted by the wheels, Charlie whirled around, all of his eyes opening glowing brilliantly. The Bugster growled, preparing to fire…

And several energy blasts from the ground struck many of the eyes on his chest, causing him to recoil in pain. Nico's blasts were stronger, since her weapon was designed specifically to counter the Gamedeus virus, but the other's blasters weren't exactly ineffective either, though it did take significantly more shots from them to take out an eye than from the Gashacon Magnum.

Charlie quickly recovered and started swinging his massive swords through the air to deflect the energy bullets, and so did not notice Sela swimming up the side of a building until she was above him, at which point she sprang out in a splash of water– –despite leaping out of _concrete_ – – and landed on Charlie's back, where she _bit_ into one of the Bugster's wings and ripped it off with a toss of her head.

"Wait, how did she do that?!" asked an incredulous Nico.

"She's a shark," Amu repeated.

"But… But she's wearing a _helmet_ , she doesn't have… Oh, forget it," Nico sighed.

As Sela continued clawing and biting at Charlie, Misao produced what appeared to be a fishing rod and cast his line, the wire whizzing through the air and wrapping around the sword making up Charlie's lower body, the hook digging into the hard metal. "Tusk, I'm going to need a little help for this!" The tri-colored Ranger called.

"I've got you," Tusk said, the elephant wrapping his arms around Misao's waist and stomping his oversized feet into the ground, digging himself in.

And then, to Nico's astonishment, Misao started reeling Charlie in… And the really incredible thing was, _it was working_. "Just how strong are you?!" Nico asked in disbelief, staring at the comical sight of the giant monstrous Bugster being pulled in as if he were nothing more than an oversized fish.

"Pretty strong," Misao replied, grunting as he struggled to keep reeling in the line, Charlie having taken notice of what was happening despite the two avian Rangers buzzing around his head and the shark chewing through his flesh and trying to break free. "Whew, this is a tough one…"

"Here, let me help, buddy," Leo said, elbowing Tusk to move over so he could grab Misao by the shoulders. "All right, everyone, PULL!"

All three Rangers pulled with all their might, and Charlie started getting pulled towards the ground with increasing force. Understandably, the Bugster took issue with this, and raised one of his swords, intending to cut the line and free himself.…

Only for Yamato and Bud to swoop right before him, crossing paths and lashing out with their whip swords, the blades wrapping around his neck. Sela quickly jumped off of Charlie's back, a bit of wing still latched in her jaws (?) as the two winged Rangers looped around and around Charlie, crisscrossing their extendable blades as they wrapped him in their grasp, pinning his arms to his sides and preventing him from moving. Charlie snarled furiously, struggling to break free from his bonds, flashes and pulses of energy bursting from gaps in the swords, but it was to no avail.

Yamato and Bud landed on opposite sides of the beast, backs to each other, and gripped the hilts of their weapons tightly. "Riser…" Yamato began.

"Spinning…" Bud continued.

"SLASH!" Both Rangers shouted, pulling on their blades and causing the swords to retract, the barbed edges ripping through Charlie's body as they went, tearing apart his wings, gouging huge chunks of flesh and leaving gaping wounds in their wake, and destroying scores of eyes, dealing a tremendous amount of damage to the Bugster.

Howling in agony, Charlie plummeted towards the ground, no longer supported by his wings. Aided by Tusk and Leo, Misao used his line to guide the plummeting monster towards them, then grabbed his flashlight and swiveled the cube so its crocodile side was facing up before striking its bottom against his inner thigh.

 **THE WORLD! WHOA! CROCODILE!**

"Instincts Awakened!" The gold part of his body flashed and his helmet shifted so the front resembled a crocodile's head. His fishing pole transformed into a rod, and just before Charlie could flatten him and his friends, he swung his weapon through the air, striking the Bugster with such force the great monster was hurled away, smashing into the ground some distance away. "Home run!"

"… Dude. REALLY strong!" exclaimed an amazed Nico.

"And this isn't even his strongest form!" Leo bragged, patting his friend on the shoulder.

Charlie struggled to pull himself up, snarling furiously at the heroes who had dared to wound him. Driving both of his swords in the ground, he pushed himself upwards, launching into the air and driving all three of his blades into the street with a tremendous crash, sending a triple shockwave rippling across the ground towards the heroes.

"I've got this! Get behind me!" Tusk cried, rushing forwards and stomping the ground with all this might, creating another shockwave which tore up the ground and slammed into Charlie's attack, the two quakes colliding and canceling each other out in an explosion which ripped apart the street and caused a small mountain of jagged pavement to rise up in the middle of the road.

"Out of curiosity, who pays for all the damages caused by your battles?" Nico asked, staring at how badly torn up the street was and how several of the surrounding buildings looked like they were about to collapse at a moment's notice.

"… You know, that's actually a good question," Tusk admitted.

"We certainly never got any bills," Yamato said. "I would really like it to stay that way."

Leo and Amu raced by on all fours, scaling the small hill in the middle of the street and leaping off it, sailing towards Charlie, claws out. At the same time, Sela jumped out of the ground once more and resumed her attack on the monster's back. Charlie thrust one sword into the ground to free up a limb so he could reach back and try and rip the shark girl off, while the other limb drew back, preparing to swat the two felines out of the sky with a swing from his massive blade.

 **GORILLA!**

"Instincts Awaken!"

There was a flash of red light, and suddenly the giant blade was stopped in its tracks. Yamato, now much bulkier and muscular with a helmet and chest design resembling a gorilla's face, had caught the blade in his hands, the tendons on his immense biceps bulging and the ground cracking beneath his feet as he held back the weapon. "Monarch of the Jungle! Zyuoh Gorilla!" He snarled.

"I guess you aren't the only really strong one," an impressed Nico commented to Misao.

Misao laughed. "We're just getting started!"

Leo and Amu, their paths cleared, landed on Charlie's chest and started clawing at him, tearing into flesh and eyeballs and causing the monster to roar in pain. Finally managing to grab Sela with his free limb, Charlie ripped the shark girl off his back and held her before his face, squeezing with all his might to keep her trapped. The many eyes on the sides of his head started charging up power…

"Glide Feather Slash!"

Bud swooped past, lashing out with his sword and slicing through all of the eyes on one side of Charlie's head, while Nico fired a blast from her rifle at the other side, destroying all the eyes in a series of powerful explosions that caused Charlie to howl in even greater anguish, losing his grip on Sela and flinging her way.

Bud quickly dove to catch her before she could hit the ground, and Misao rushed forwards, twisting around the cube on his flashlight again and striking it against his inner thigh.

 **WHOA! RHINOS!**

"All Beasts Unleashed!" Misao shouted as he shifted back to his rhino form. Horned armor pads resembling rhino heads formed on his shoulders, his left hand sprouted massive claws, and his right transformed into a whip resembling a crocodile tail.

"He can use all three at once?!" Asked an amazed Nico.

Tusk, the only one to stay behind, nodded. "The only one of us who can other than Yamato, though that may have been a one-time thing."

Loping forward with the speed of a wolf, Misao rushed towards Charlie, leaping into the air towards the sword planted in the ground. Wrapping his claws and whip around its hilt as he went by, he wrenched the entire blade out of the street, raised it over his head, and brought it down in a tremendous chop, slashing right through Charlie's right arm and cutting it off at the shoulder, the serpentine limb collapsing and disintegrating segment by segment as it fell to the ground.

"Okay, that was sick," Nico said in approval as Charlie wailed. "And it looks like I've got to up my game! Elephant man, aim for the big eye on Charlie's left shoulder!"

"I think I see what you're getting at, and my name is Tusk!" The elephant man insisted, drawing his Zyuoh Buster.

Both of them fired their weapons at the same time, Nico's charged shot and Tusk's cubic blast smashing into Charlie's right shoulder, blowing up the eye there as well as the shoulder itself and causing the left arm to fall off, disintegrating segment by segment. Yamato stumbled backwards a few steps as the giant sword was freed from the beast's crumbling jaws, but quickly regained his footing and changed his grip on the sword. "Leo! Amu! Get off, fast!"

Leo paused in his mauling, eyes bulging. "Wait… Is he going to-"

"I think he is!" Exclaimed Amu, awestruck.

"Holy shit! Seriously?!" Nico squealed, quickly seeing where this was going.

"This will certainly be an impressive spectacle," Tusk agreed.

As the two feline Rangers jumped free, Yamato hefted the giant sword into the air and hurled it at Charlie with all his might. The Bugster's many remaining eyes widened in horror, but without any limbs, there was nothing he could do to stop the massive blade from skewering him right through the chest, the power behind the throw ripping him out of the ground and slamming him into the face of a building at the far end of the street, the sword pinning him like a butterfly trapped beneath glass.

As Charlie twitched and moaned, helpless, Yamato took out a large red cubic blaster with a whale emblazoned on the side and raised it into the air. "Instincts Awakened!"

 **WHOA! WHALE!**

As a cubic energy field formed around him, Yamato fired the blast into the air, water shooting upwards and raining down on him as his suit changed again, gaining a waist cape, a gold collar, and a helmet and chest design reminiscent of a whale. "Monarch of Monarchs! Zyuoh Whale!"

Yamato hefted his Whale Change Gun and pointed it at the impaled Charlie as his friends quickly moved in to support him, the weapon glowing and cube shaped particles of energy rushing into it.

 **ZYUOH FINAL!**

Yamato squeezed the trigger…

"Wait!" Nico shouted, rushing in front of the Zyuohger's and startlingly Yamato, forcing him to quickly jerk the gun out of the way before he could accidentally shoot her. "We can't kill him! I'm the one who has to do the finishing move, remember?"

"… Oh, right," Yamato muttered, embarrassed. "Force of habit. Sorry."

Nico sighed. "No, it's cool, I get where you're coming from. Kind of a shame it has to be this way, it looks like you were about to pull off a pretty awesome finishing move there…eh? What's going on?"

Much to her confusion, the ground beneath her feet started glowing, cube-shaped energy particles rising up into the air. The particles converged before Nico, combining to form a larger cube, which then solidified. Awestruck, she reached out to touch it… And jumped back in surprise as the cube reacted to her touch, releasing a tremendous energy pulse as it started to wildly reconfigure itself, folding and twisting and unfolding to turn into…

"Is that… A Gashat?!"

It was indeed, a multicolored Gashat bearing the label of 'Cube Beast Zyuohger' over an image of several roaring beasts corresponding to the animals of the Zyuohgers. Slowly, reverently, Nico reached out and grasped the Gashat. "… Is this what I think it is?!"

"It seems like the planet is trying to tell us something," Bud observed wisely.

"Well, what do you know, looks like you're going to get a power-up giving you a form based off of our team after all!" Leo laughed.

…

"Even the _planet_ is handing out Gashats now?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in outrage, and if he weren't wearing a mask, he'd probably be tearing out his hair. "This is… What am I supposed to do about this?! Am I supposed to destroy the entire planet out of revenge now?!"

"Don't you think that's a bit excessive?" Satsuki asked.

"Well, it's not like I can _sue_ the planet!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "Well, I guess I can pollute it a bit, that'll show it…"

"I'm pretty sure you've already done enough of that already, what with the number of copies of Mighty 2006 and other failed games and consoles that you've sent to the landfill," Hiiro pointed out.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cringed. "I told you not to remind me of that!"

…

"Let's see what it can do," Amu suggested.

"No need to tell me twice!" Eagerly, Nico raised her new Gashat into the air and squeezed the trigger.

 _ **CUBE BEAST ZYUOHGER!**_

"Game start!"

Nico inserted the Gashat into her Driver.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| LEVEL UP! |**

 **| ZYUUUUUOOOOOHHHH WHOOOOOAAAAAA! CUBE BEAST ZYUOGER! |**

The holographic title screen for the game passed over her, causing her body to unfold into its more humanoid configuration as several colorful cubes shot out from her chest and whizzed around her, unfolding into miniature mechanical animals which roared and shrieked and howled. The mecha-animals slammed into various points of her body, creating blocky armor somewhat reminiscent in form of Hiiro's long-lost Safari Gamer Level 4 form, which was itself a remodel of the Hunter Gamer Full Dragon Level 5 form. Her face was nestled within the beak of a red bird helmet. Very long white and yellow claws with patterns reminiscent of lion and tiger fur covered her left and right hands. Thick green and black greaves resembling the feet of an elephant and a rhino covered her feet. Armor resembling the snarling heads of a silver wolf and a gold crocodile covered her shoulder. A blue dorsal fin like a shark's sprouted from her back in between a pair of orange bird wings. She had obtained the bestial power of the mighty Beast Gamer Form!

As all of the animal heads on her armor roared their respective cries, Nico started laughing in disbelief. "Oh wow, this is amazing!"

Her Driver abruptly glowed, and cubic energy particles flew out to form a massive cube-shaped gun similar to Yamato's, only with a different color scheme, a slot for a Gashat, and an image of multiple roaring beasts rather than a whale on the sides. "And it just got even better!"

Nico ejected the Dr. Mighty XX Gashat from her Magnum and inserted it into the slot of her new weapon, the Gashacube Buster.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ DOCTOR MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

As cubic energy particles flowed into her new weapon, Nico uttered a battle cry at the top of her lungs, squeezed the trigger, and was nearly knocked off her feet when an absurdly powerful energy beam erupted out of the barrel and started zigzagging chaotically down the street towards Charlie.

"Oh yeah, forgot to mention it has a bit of a kick if you aren't ready for it," Yamato recalled.

"Would have been nice to know beforehand!" Nico yelled back through gritted teeth. She struggled to keep the blaster steady as the beam continued to corkscrew and zigzag wildly all over the place. "Why can't this thing shoot straight?!"

"That's a feature, not a bug. I think," Yamato admitted uncertainly.

"Why does the Whale Change Gun fire a beam like that, anyway?" Tusk wondered.

"Maybe the planet needs its eyesight checked," Amu joked. The ground started glowing ominously. "Ack! I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it!"

Finally, the beam curved straight towards Charlie… Only to abruptly veer straight up only inches away from him and rocket into the stratosphere.

"OH COME ON!" Nico screamed.

"No, that happened my first time too. Don't worry, it'll be back," Yamato assured her.

"Didn't you blow up part of the moon on your first time too?" Leo recalled.

Yamato cringed. "… Oh, crap."

…

Meanwhile, in space…

In a space shuttle orbiting the moon, the leader of an international crew of astronauts stared down at the lunar surface, tired but happy. Turning back to his crew, he said, "Well, they said it couldn't be done, but I think we've sufficiently prove them wrong. It took almost 2 years, billions of dollars, and cost more than one of our fellows their lives, but we finally managed to fix up the moon after that mysterious laser sheared off part of it in September 2016. Now, with our mission complete, we can finally return home to our families and-"

Suddenly, a massive blue laser shot out from Japan on the distant Earth, pierced the moon, came out the other side, and looped around to streak back towards the planet. The astronauts watched in silence as a significant portion of the lunar regolith fragmented and drifted off into space.

"SON OF A-"

…

The blue beam curved back down from space and struck Charlie dead-on, the pinned Bugster roaring in anguish as every cell of his artificial body was pumped with antiviral energy. There was a tremendous series of explosions, and Charlie (and the building he was pinned to) were engulfed in a spectacular blue conflagration.

PERFECT!

…

Back at the grocery store, Keita stopped flickering. "I'm alive!" He cried joyfully. "That little girl must have saved me!"

"That's nice," said an annoyed employee. "Can you please get off the ground? You're making it difficult for shoppers to get their groceries to their car."

As Keita quickly moved out of the way, the piglet Zyuman huffed and crossed her arms. "Where are the monarchs with my tricycle? I thought they'd be back by now!"

"Yeah, and my sports bike!" Complained the woman who Charlie had robbed. "That thing wasn't cheap, you know!"

Without warning, a horrifically twisted, mangled, and smoking sports bike and tricycle fell out of the air and landed on a car, smashing it and causing the alarms of all the other cars in the lot to go off, filling the air with blaring sirens.

"My tricycle!" The piglet squealed.

"My sports bike!" The woman wailed.

"MY CAR!" Keita screamed, tearing out his hair.

…

"That… Building was empty, right?" Nico asked slowly.

"In our experience, it's best not to ask questions like that," Sela advised her.

"In any case, good job, kid!" Leo exclaimed, clapping her on the shoulder. "Not bad for your first battle!"

"This isn't my first battle," she told him.

"… Oh. Then forget I said anything," the lion said awkwardly.

"Wait, this isn't over! Look!" Misao cried.

As the flames from the explosion died down, they could see Charlie, back in his normal form, staggering towards them, looking exhausted. "Oh man, I have such a headache…" He groaned.

"He's still alive! Albeit in a smaller, weaker, less intimidating form!" Tusk observed.

"Then we must finish him, before he recovers-" Bud began.

"Wait! He's back to normal now, there's no need to keep fighting!" Nico interrupted.

The Zyuohgers looked at her in surprise. "Wait, he's supposed to look like that?" Amu questioned.

"Are you supposed to look like cosplayers wearing cheap animal masks and tails?" Nico retorted.

"… Hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" Leo demanded.

"All right, all right, we get the point. We aren't exactly human, either," Sela acknowledged. " _Most_ of us aren't," she quickly added when she noticed Misao about to say something.

"Charlie! You okay?" Nico asked as the Bugster stumbled over.

"I got turned into a giant monster, had my eyes gouged out repeatedly, and was fried by a giant space laser," Charlie moaned. "No, I'm not all right. Especially since I'm pretty sure I'm out of a job. There's no way I'm going to be able to get back to the restaurant in time!"

"… Dude, can't you teleport?" Nico asked.

"Teleport? What do you…" Charlie stared at her for a long moment, dumbfounded. Then he swore at the top of his lungs and vanished in a flurry of pixels.

…

"… Why didn't he think to do that in the first place?!" Asked an incredulous Taiga.

Parad shrugged. "Well, Charlie always was more comfortable on a bike."

"Nico did an amazing job out there," Emu commented. "You should be proud of her, Taiga. She's becoming a great Rider."

"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" Taiga said with a fond smile.

"Probably because you had almost no involvement in training her whatsoever," Hiiro observed.

"Yeah… HEY!"

"Looks like you've lost again, Kuroto," Kiriya observed.

"Oh, don't be so sure of that… The next Bugster I've got in store will turn things around…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD murmured darkly. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"Oh, also, you have that secret master plan going on that we're not supposed to know about," Parad commented.

"Yes, there's that as well," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD acknowledged.

…

"Hope he doesn't get fired," Nico commented. A warp point materialized nearby. "And looks like that's my cue to leave." She turned to the Sentai. "Thanks for the help back there. I probably could've handled it on my own, but… Well, it was nice to have some backup."

"No problem," Yamato said, extending a hand. "We're always happy to help another hero."

"It's kind of a surprise we don't have team ups more often, really, considering how many of us there are running around Japan," Amu commented.

"I know, right?!" Nico agreed, shaking Yamato's hand. "Anyway, it was great working with you all, and thanks for the awesome new power up. I hope we can do something like this again soon!"

"Yeah, that would be pretty neat," Leo agreed.

"Though hopefully in less dangerous circumstances," Sela added.

"But those are the best kind!" The lion protested.

Nico laughed and shook her head. "You guys are all right. Makes me think of my own friends. Anyway, gotta bounce!" She flashed them a V sign and stepped into the warp point, vanishing in a flash of light, leaving the seven heroes behind in the devastated street.

"That was fun," Misao commented cheerfully.

"Wasn't she supposed to pay for that tricycle she stole from the little piglet?" Bud recalled.

Yamato facepalmed. "Oh for the love of-"

…

Elsewhere…

"RISING STRIKE!"

"GAVAN DOUBLE DYNAMIC!"

"ALL-STAR INFINISH BLAST!"

"OTHER FINISHING MOVES!" (Well, all right, that's not what they actually said, but I can't be bothered to look up and write down the finishing moves for every single member of Space Squad, or else we'd be here all day! And this chapter is long enough!)

Don Hormage grunted as the combined power of a few dozen Sentai and Metal Heroes collided with his body, forcing him to actually take a step back… Until he burst into laughter, the Genmaku sigil appearing behind him as he unleashed a blast of energy which dispelled the attacks and flung everyone back. "Fools! Haven't you been listening? I am immortal! No Super Sentai or Metal Hero can defeat me!"

Marvelous considered this. "No Super Sentai or Metal Hero, you say? Hey, old man, last time I checked, those weren't the only allies of justice, were they?"

Retsu chuckled. "No, no they are not. Geki, I believe now might be a good time to try out those new recruits that you've been considering."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Geki agreed. He tapped the side of his head. "Kisaragi, you're on!"

Without warning, a wormhole opened up in the sky. Don Hormage noticed this and laughed. "Calling for reinforcements? I already told you, no Sentai or Metal Hero can defeat me!"

"Who said anything about Sentai or Metal Heroes?" Geki asked as six figures dropped out of the wormhole, landing nearby.

"Super Sentai and Metal Heroes are not the only ones who stand against evil across space!" Declared Kazuya Oki, also known as Kamen Rider Super-1.

"Hey Skydain, let's show them what some reformed Space Ironmen are capable of!" A blue car-like robot declared, punching a fist into his palm.

"So long as I get to hit something, sounds good to me, Groundain!" His counterpart, a red jet-like robot, declared, flexing her arms.

"I will decide your fate," Ryusei Sakuta, Kamen Rider Meteor, declared dramatically.

The last two newcomers, Gentaro Kisaragi and Nadeshiko Misaki, Kamen Riders Fourze and Nadeshiko, crouched down briefly before rapidly standing up, thrusting their arms into the air and shouting, "IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" So loudly that everyone in every universe in existence could hear them.

"Kamen Riders? And… Whatever those robots are? We never took them into account!" the alarmed San Dorva cried in alarm.

"You have nothing to worry about, darling," his mother crooned. "It doesn't matter if they send out Super Sentai, Metal Heroes, Kamen Riders, or even Pretty Cures, nothing can stop your father now!"

"Indeed!" Don Hormage agreed, cracking his many knuckles. "These weaklings have been an amusing warm-up… Let's see if you can give me more of a challenge!"

"You may regret asking for one," Kazuya declared, getting into a martial arts stance.

"Time to see what it's like to be on the winning side for a change!" Skydain said, fist-bumping her brother.

"My fate will call down a storm!" Ryusei declared, producing the Meteor Storm Switch.

"Our friendship will take on the universe!" Gentaro bragged, producing the Cosmic Switch.

Nadeshiko giggled. "Oh Gen-kun, you always take me on the best dates!"

Howling battle cries, the four Riders and two robots launched themselves at the waiting monstrosity.

…

Nico returned to the stage to applause from her friends, as well as the audience. "No! Stop that! You shouldn't be cheering her on, she's the enemy!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD hissed angrily at the Bugsters.

"Good job out there, Nico," Parad congratulated the Junior Rider.

"You did amazing against Charlie! I bet that you could've beaten his second phase all by yourself, even if the Zyuohgers hadn't shown up to lend a hand!" Emu complimented her.

Nico snorted. "Please, I know I could have!"

"You aren't upset that the Zyuohgers showed up?" Satsuki asked.

"A little bit," Nico confessed. "I mean, this was supposed to be my first real solo outing, and then they show up to steal some of the spotlight for me. Still, I know better than to complain about the unexpected assist. Only an idiot or masochist tries to solo a mega raid boss without the rest of their guild. All that matters is that Charlie and that other guy got saved, and more importantly, I got a new power up! I'll just have to make sure to take out my next opponent on my own. This girl can stand on her own merits!"

"We all know you can, Nico," Taiga said proudly, clapping her on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Taiga," Nico said cheerfully. "Oh, and before I forget, I believe there's something we discussed earlier."

"Eh? What are you talking about-" Taiga questioned, only to stiffen when he saw a sensual look on Nico's face, the younger Rider standing on tiptoe as she leaned towards him. His eyes widened in horror. "N-Nico, wait, I don't think-!"

Nico closed her eyes and puckered her lips as her face approached his own… And then she pulled back, a cheeky grin on her face as she held up Taiga's wallet, which she'd snatched when he wasn't looking. "Like I said before, pizza is on me.… But I'm a little short right now, so I'm gonna need to borrow some money. K? Thanks!"

Everyone burst into laughter as Taiga turned bright red. "NICO!"

Kiriya shook his head in mocking disapproval. "For shame, Nico! Toying with a man's heart like that? Not cool!"

"What do you want on your pizza?" Nico asked, already on the phone with Charlie's restaurant.

"Extra pepperoni," Kiriya said immediately. "And make sure there's plenty of mushrooms on Taiga's."

"No, don't listen to him!" Taiga insisted desperately. "You know I'm allergic!"

"Mushroom pizza for Taiga, got it," Nico said, ignoring him. "And everyone else?"

"Stuffed crust for Parad, pineapple for myself, meat lover's for Emu, cheese for Satsuki, everything for Mizuki, and nothing for Kuroto," Hiiro recited.

"But I want pizza!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"Nobody cares," everyone said bluntly.

"Wait, you can't order for all of us, Taiga!" Parad said indignantly.

"Given that was what we ordered last time, I assumed that would be your preferences this time as well. Was I incorrect?" Hiiro asked.

"… Well, no, but it would've been nice for you to let us order for ourselves," Parad grumbled. Hiiro didn't look even remotely apologetic.

"Okay, the pizza will be here in a bit," Nico announced, hanging up her phone. "And the good news is, Charlie still has his job! But since he's out on his delivery now, they're going to have to send someone else, so it won't be here as quickly."

"That's fine, we can wait," Emu assured her.

"And while we're waiting, we can eat this cake we baked for you to celebrate your victory," Satsuki declared, presenting a cake with a cartoon version of Nico posing in her Rider form drawn in icing on the top.

"Oh, sweet!" Nico said giddily.

"Wait, where did you get that from?" Asked a confused Emu.

"We made it just now," Mizuki explained.

"… _How_?!" Taiga demanded.

"I trained them well," Hiiro said proudly as his nurses started cutting up the cake and distributing slices.

" _That explains nothing!"_

"Yes, yes, let's all congratulate Nico, nevermind that she didn't defeat the Bugster by herself and that she destroyed roughly a city block in the process," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered.

"Dude, don't rain on my parade," Nico complained, scowling at him.

"Well, maybe _some_ of us think there are things more important than feeding a teenager's pathetic ego!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled.

Nico snorted. "You're just angry that another one of your modified Bugsters was curbstomped after all the hard work you put into designing it."

"Do you know how long it takes to make one of them, especially given my current financial state?! How many assets I need to use?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked. "Also I'm pissed that I can't have any of that cake."

"You never asked if you could have any," Emu pointed out.

There was a pause. "So… If I were to ask, then-" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD started.

"No," Hiiro said bluntly.

"And you people call _me_ evil!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled in indignation.

"Stop putting innocent people's lives at risk and holding entire cities hostage and we'll talk," Emu said firmly.

"Jerks don't deserve cake," Parad agreed, his lips already covered with frosting.

"I hate you all," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled. "In any event… Since this is the second time we've gotten interference from our 'distinguished' color-coded Sentai counterparts, I believe the next set of questions should revolve around them."

"Does this mean you're going to change into a Sentai outfit?" Kiriya half-joked.

"No." Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD gestured at the screen, which changed to display the next question.

 **Throughout the over 40 years of Super Sentai, animals are one of the most frequently recurring motifs. How many Sentai have Rangers based off of lions?**

 **A. Eight**

 **B. Nine**

 **C. Ten**

…

 **Well, glad I'm finally done with that! Apologies again for the delay, and if you're wondering why I had the Zyuohgers show up… Well, they were one of my favorite Sentai of the last few years, and I couldn't resist sticking them in, even if it did sort of shove Nico out of the spotlight. Still, at least it was a cool fight, right?**

 **And you've no idea what I've got planned for the next one…**


	21. Question 19

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Wait, the next bunch of questions are going to be about Super Sentai?" Asked an alarmed Kiriya. "That… Could be bit of a problem."

"Why? You guys read the newsletters, right?" Nico asked.

"The ones related to _Kamen Rider_ business, yes," Hiiro confirmed. "The ones pertaining to Super Sentai… Not quite as much."

Nico gave them an indignant look. "Oh, so when _I've_ been skipping out on newsletters you all give me hell for it, when you're really just as bad? Not cool, guys!"

"I guess it's a good thing that Mizuki reads lots of wikis," Kiriya commented, nodding at the nurse.

Mizuki nodded. "I'm afraid my knowledge of Super Sentai is not as encyclopedic as Satsuki's knowledge of all things Kamen Rider, but I will help as much as I can."

"Lion-themed Rangers… There's gotta be a lot of those, right? I mean, animal-themed Sentai are one of the most common types," Parad recalled.

"Let's see… There's Leo, and Lucky from the Kyurangers," Taiga reflected, struggling to remember others.

"Mizuki, do you recall any?" Hiiro asked his nurse.

Before Mizuki could respond, Emu snapped his fingers. "Wait, I think I've got it!"

"You do?" Asked the surprised Taiga.

Emu nodded. "Yeah, after beating Cho Super Hero Taisen with every character, a lot of the stuff about the different Sentai got stuck in my head. Let's see… Aside from Leo and Lucky, there's… Yellow Lion, ShishiRanger, GingaRed, GaoRed, Hurricane Yellow, Black Lion, Go-On Blue, and Gosei Knight."

"That's 10!" Taiga observed.

"Two of those sound like robot lions from Voltron," Nico commented.

"Purely a coincidence, I'm sure," Satsuki said.

"Wait, does Black Lion count? I thought he was like an Extra Hero or something," Parad recalled.

"Well, he was present for pretty much the entire adventure of the GekiRangers – – albeit as a villain – – has his own mecha, and I'm pretty sure he took part in the big Legend War in 2011 and has his own Ranger Key, so… I don't see why he wouldn't count," Kiriya said with a shrug.

"Mizuki?" Hiiro asked.

"I… Believe that he counts as a Ranger, based on all the criteria Kiriya mentioned," Mizuki said after some thought.

"Did I miss any?" Emu asked.

The ninja shook her head. "I don't think so, no. 10 sounds like the correct amount."

"Then… Kuroto! The answer is 10!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "There are indeed 10 lion-themed Rangers! Though I admit Black Lion Rio's inclusion could be debated, given his status as an Extra Hero, I too believe that his inclusion in the Legend War and possessing a Ranger Key made him an acceptable answer."

"Kind of surprised you didn't use the extra Hero bit as justification to claim that we were wrong and nine was the answer, and if we _had_ guessed nine instead, go the other way and say that 10 was correct," Kiriya commented.

"… Dammit, I should've done that instead!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cursed. "Well, let's try a harder question, then…"

 **Out of all the dinosaur-themed mecha used by Super Sentai, how many are** _ **actually**_ **based off of dinosaurs?**

 **A. 40**

 **B. 36**

 **C. 29**

 **D. 27**

…

 **This one's going to be a bit trickier. Can you figure it out?**


	22. Boss Stage 7 and Question 20

In case anyone was wondering, the reason I didn't include the dinosaur mecha from Ryusoulger to the previous question is because, as of this writing, the show hasn't come out yet. Which… Leads to a bit of a continuity issue.

I recently rechecked the Kamen Rider timeline, and discovered that I'd made a bit of an error. Since the story clearly takes place after the Another Ending trilogy, that means the year should be in the 2020's… Meaning Ryusoulger has come and gone, along with a handful of other Sentai and Riders.

Fortunately, there is a simple enough explanation:

This must be Gorgom – – er, Sougo's doing! ONORE, ZI-O!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"… Okay, this one might be a bit of a problem," Taiga observed.

"40?! That can't be right! There've only been… Um… Three dinosaur-themed Sentai teams? I think?" Nico asked uncertainly.

"Yeah, but a bunch of other teams have had at least one dinosaur mecha, usually a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_ ," Kiriya pointed out.

"Why?" Emu asked.

"Because it's what most people think of the instant they hear the word 'dinosaur,'" Kiriya pointed out.

"Fair point," Parad conceded.

"I think of _Triceratops_ , actually," Hiiro spoke up.

"Which is another common one," Kiriya agreed.

"Mizuki, I don't suppose…?" Satsuki asked her partner.

The ninja nurse nodded. "As a matter of fact, I believe I can help with this one. There are indeed 40 mecha classified as dinosaur-themed. However, not all of them are, in fact, based off of dinosaurs."

Kiriya nodded. "Right, I think there's a couple of mammoths, and like one sabertooth tiger."

"And all the pteranodons," Hiiro agreed.

"Wait, pteranodons aren't dinosaurs?" Asked the surprised Emu.

"No, while they're giant reptiles from the same time period, they aren't considered dinosaurs," Hiiro confirmed.

"Huh. I did not know that," Emu remarked.

"Are _Triceratops_ actual dinosaurs anymore? I thought I heard somewhere that some scientists thought they were actually the juveniles of another species," Taiga spoke up.

"That has yet to be confirmed," Hiiro said quickly.

Mizuki continued. "Therefore, if we subtract all of the mecha which are based off of prehistoric animals that aren't dinosaurs – – Guardian Beasts ZyuMammoth, SaberTiger, Pteranodon, and Dragon Caesar, Bakuryuu Pteranodon, Dimenokodon –"

"Wait, what's wrong with that one?" Taiga interrupted.

"He's a _Dimetrodon_. They existed long before the dinosaurs," Mizuki clarified.

"But they're also giant ancient lizard monsters. Why aren't they considered dinosaurs?" Asked the confused Parad.

"They're actually closer to mammals, and in a completely different evolutionary group," Mizuki explained.

"Oh," Parad said.

"Where were we? Oh, right, TopGaler–" Mizuki continued.

"What's that one?" Nico interrupted.

"The partner of AbareKiller, based off of a _Tupuxuara_ ," Mizuki explained.

"Okay, first, that's an awesome name, and second, what the heck is a _Tupuxuara_?" Kiriya asked.

"It's a species of pterosaur, like _pteranodons_ ," Mizuki elaborated. "There's also… Let's see… Engine Kishamoth, Ptera Headder, and the Zyudenryu Pteragordon and Plezuon."

"And that last one doesn't count because…?" Taiga asked.

"It's a _plesiosaur_ ," Mizuki told them.

"Those aren't dinosaurs?" Emu asked.

"No," the ninja said.

"But they have 'saur' in the name!" Nico argued.

"It takes more than that to be considered a dinosaur, I'm afraid," Mizuki said with a shrug.

"So, with all those subtracted, that leaves… 29 dinosaur robots that are actually dinosaurs," Parad quickly calculated.

"How come we don't have a dinosaur-themed Rider? That would be so cool," Nico complained.

"OOO has a dinosaur form. Does that count?" Taiga asked.

Nico made a face. "Not really."

"So that's what we're going with? Okay then. Kuroto! The answer is 29!" Emu declared.

"That is… INCORRECT!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

"What?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"What?!" Mizuki protested, aghast. "But… That should be the correct answer!"

Taiga groaned. "Oh great. What did we miss this time?"

"You were so, _so_ close to being right," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD gloated. "However, you forgot the rest of the question: I didn't ask you how many dinosaur-themed mecha were based off of actual dinosaurs, I asked how many dinosaur-themed mecha _used by Super Sentai_ were based off of actual dinosaurs! Bakuryuu CarnoRyutus and ChasmoShieldon are evil independent robots, so were never used by the Abarangers!"

Mizuki moaned and covered her face in shame. "Oh no… How could I have missed that?!"

"Who are these two dinosaurs he's talking about?" Asked a confused Parad.

"A pair of evil Bakuryuu who tried to turn their home world into an icy wasteland, but were sealed away. They were sent to our world in 2003 to destroy it, but were defeated by the Abarangers and flung to the bottom of Tokyo Bay. They were revived for a second attempt in 2004, but defeated again," Mizuki explained through her hands. "I can't believe I forgot the second part of the question… There is only one way I can atone for this disgrace…"

"NO! NO SEPPUKU!" Nearly everyone else shouted at her.

"What they said," Hiiro agreed grudgingly.

"Wow, you guys have been doing _really_ badly lately," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jeered. "You really need to step up your game! At this rate, it's only a matter of time before you get someone killed! And speaking of which, let's see who our newest victim is…"

He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them. After a moment, the screen changed to show a nervous-looking schoolgirl a little younger than Nico sitting on a bench, fidgeting while staring with longing as slightly older, very attractive student sitting nearby chatting with her friends.

"Allow me to introduce Yuri Ichinose," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, gesturing at the schoolgirl. "She's a diligent student, gets good grades, has nothing particularly exciting going on in her home or personal life… However, she has a secret…"

…

Yuri trembled, clenching and unclenching her fists as she stared across the yard at Sakura Momochi, one of the nicest, prettiest and most popular students at her school. _You can do this, Yuri,_ she thought to herself. _Just like you practiced. All you have to do is walk up and… And give it to her. And then you'll know for sure. And then… And then…_

 _And then everything will change._ She shook harder, biting her lip and trying to hold back tears. _If she says yes, then… Then everything's great, except everyone will know. And if she says no, then… Then everyone will still know, but she… She won't be…_

Stifling a sob, she curled in on herself, clutching her head and staring at the ground, terrified that if she looked up even for a minute, she might lock eyes with Sakura, and… And if she did that, she didn't know what she would do. _I can't do this_ , she thought frantically, struggling not to pull out her hair. _I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't-_

Something slipped out of her collar and dangled down her chest. Slowly, she grasped the object and held it up to her eyes. It was a pendant with the emblem of a peach embossed on it. Recognizing the familiar symbol of her faith, she took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes, calming herself as she tightly squeezed the pendant. _Lady Minato would never hesitate or doubt herself_ , she thought to herself. _If she wanted something badly enough, she would reach out and_ take _it for herself._

Her eyes shot open. _And so must I._

Yuri rose to her feet. Squeezing the pendant for good luck, she marched over to where Sakura and her friends were sitting. The girls glanced up at her in surprise, but before they could say anything, before her courage abandoned her, Yuri reached into her pocket, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and thrust it out towards Sakura.

Surprised, the upperclassman unfolded the paper and examined it. She blinked, then looked over it again, slower. She stared at it for a moment, silent. Then, she glanced up, an apologetic look on her face.

…

"… Oh, jeez," Nico whispered, described. She'd seen scenes like this more than once back at school.

"No! Why must young love always be so tragic?!" Parad wailed, sobbing heavily.

"I did not think this sort of thing affected you," said a surprised Hiiro.

"He likes drama and yuri romance far more than you would expect," Emu explained.

Satsuki and Mizuki were livid. "Kuroto! How dare you show us this!" The martial artist snarled.

"What do you think you're doing? Are you planning to toy with this poor girl's feelings?!" Mizuki demanded.

"Shh, we haven't gotten to the good part!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"Wait, what does this have to do with a Bugster?" Asked the confused Kiriya.

…

In that moment, Yuri's heart broke. She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to run into the depths of Helheim, she wanted to be anywhere other than right here, about to hear whatever words of pity were about to come out of Sakura's mouth. Her stomach lurched, and she doubled over and threw up. The other girls squealed and recoiled as bits of orange slime splattered the ground beneath their expensive shoes… Wait, vomit wasn't usually that color, was it?

Yuri, feeling extremely drained, staggered backwards, her form flickering as the orange matter piled up on itself and rose upwards, coalescing into the form of a hulking, rather blocky figure. An ill-fitting white and pink jacket with a gold left epaulet and what appeared to be a massive bouquet sprouting from the right shoulder covered his torso, his legs were covered in thick black pants with white tassels cut out around the sides and crotch to reveal red leggings. In his left arm, long pink and gold tassels hanging from his sleeve, he wielded a scepter ending in a complex blocky figure, while his right arm was covered in pink feathers, and seemed largely to consist of a massive, bulky blaster. His head was a squat blue and pink dome with two blue studs sticking out of the top, and a single blue eye gazing, unblinking, out into the world.

As Yuri stared at the monster in horror, Sakura and her friends gasped, hearts forming in their eyes, and they started fawning all over the creature, who sighed in resignation. "Here we go…" He muttered unhappily.

…

"Oh, that's how," Kiriya realized.

"That's Hatena!" Emu realized.

"Wow, it's been a long time. We don't really see that guy much," Parad observed. He frowned. "And it looks like he's been spliced together with Lovelica?"

"Indeed! This Bugster is a product of data from _It's OK Puzzle_ and _Tokimeki Crisis_ ," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD confirmed. "Which not only means he's a heavy hitter, but he's irresistible to women and impervious to physical attacks!"

"I seem to remember vanquishing Lovelica the last time you resurrected him," Hiiro interjected.

"Impervious to physical attacks for most people," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD corrected without missing a beat. "Especially the person who's going to fight him… Mizuki!"

A spotlight shone on the startled ninja. "Me?!"

"Indeed, you!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD confirmed. "Since. Choose one pretty much the only person here who hasn't gone out once already! Even Satsuki went out… Somehow…"

"Wait, you can't send Mizuki! She isn't a Rider!" Taiga protested.

"She's a ninja, and she seemed to do well enough against Alhambra," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said dismissively.

"But she wasn't trying to beat him, just distract him and help Hiiro finish him!" Emu persisted. "There's no way she could beat choose to evolved Bugster on her own, especially not one as powerful as a mix between Hatena and Lovelica! No offense, Mizuki."

"None taken, though you may underestimate my odds. Even the most powerful opponent can succumb to a single blow in the right spot… and I am a ninja, an assassin who strikes from the shadows. That sort of thing is my specialty," Mizuki said, though she didn't look as confident as she sounded.

"That's assuming you can last long enough to get that hit in," said a worried Nico.

"And even if you can, it won't matter because he's immune to physical attacks!" Kiriya reminded her. "Well, I suppose you can could try insulting him, that seemed to work on Lovelica."

"Actually, I removed that bit of code when creating this Bugster," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD corrected him.

Kiriya sighed. "Of course you did."

"Why would you do that?!" Emu demanded.

"… Because I don't want my monsters to be beaten? Because I want you all to lose? Have you not been paying attention?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked incredulously.

"Do not worry," Mizuki tried to assure everyone, though again, she didn't look as confident as she sounded. "I think I may know a way around his defenses… Though I won't know for sure until I try it…"

"Mizuki, no! Let me come with you! I respect your strength, but I do not believe you can fight this opponent on your own!" Satsuki begged her partner.

"Sorry, but no," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD spoke up once more. "The warp point will work for Mizuki and absolutely nobody else. She's the only one who's going to fight Hatena, so I suggest none of you get any clever ideas."

"I didn't need a warp point to get out to battle alongside the First Rider," Satsuki pointed out angrily.

"Whatever you did last time won't work again, I've already fixed that loophole," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD told her.

"Then I'll find another one! I'll punch my way out of here if need be! I will not let Mizuki go to her death alone!" Satsuki yelled furiously, eyes ablaze with rage.

Mizuki put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Satsuki, thank you, but no. This is my fight. I made the mistake that led us to this outcome, so I must be the one to set things right. And besides… That girl… I have been in her place before. You know that."

Satsuki's eyes softened. "Yes… Yes, I do. Just… come back to me, all right?"

"I shall try with all my might to do so. And if I fall… Then I shall see you again in Helheim," Mizuki promised.

And then, much to the amazement of most of the room, Mizuki leaned over and _kissed_ Satsuki full on the lips. The audience gasped, and started to cheer.

"Holy shit!" Nico swore.

"Aha, I knew it! Pay up, Taiga!" Kiriya crowed.

"Dammit…" Taiga grumbled, forking over some cash.

"So that's what it looks like in real life," Parad murmured, fascinated.

"Hiiro, did you know about this?" Asked an amazed Emu.

Hiiro scoffed. "Of course I did. Who do you think helped them get together in the first place?"

"Hey! Hey! Keep it PG in here, this isn't that kind of show!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled angrily, slamming a button on his podium repeatedly and causing loud buzzers to ring out. A warp point materialized in the middle of the room. "Just get over there and die – – I mean, fight already!"

Reluctantly, Satsuki and Mizuki parted. "Be safe," Satsuki whispered, eyes wet.

"I shall do my best," Mizuki replied. She turned towards the warp point…

"One moment," Hiiro interrupted. "Mizuki, there may be a way to increase your chances of survival. I'd been planning to wait until your birthday for this, but…"

To everyone's amazement, he held out a Gamer Driver. Mizuki's eyes widened. "Is that…?!"

Hiiro nodded. "It is. Mizuki, I think it's time to make you a Kamen Rider."

There were quite a few gasps. "But… But Hiiro-sama, I thought I was incompatible for the surgery!" Mizuki protested.

"Correction: you _were_ incompatible," Hiiro corrected her. "However, medical science is always marching on. Just as new treatments are always being discovered for seemingly incurable diseases, so too have new methods been found to turn those once thought incompatible into Riders capable of fighting the Bugster Virus. Those such as yourself, Mizuki."

"But wait! How is she supposed to become a Rider to fight Hatena without the surgery? I mean, you can't do it here!" Taiga protested. "… Can you?"

"No, he can't!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD argued. "This is a live stage, not an operating theater!"

"For a true doctor, anywhere can be an operating theater," Hiiro said confidently. "And after all, am I not the greatest doctor in the world?"

"Hiiro, now is not the time to stroke your ego," said an exasperated Emu.

"I'm not stroking my ego, simply stating fact," Hiiro said firmly. "I shall perform the surgery on Mizuki and turn her into a Rider capable of fighting Hatena right here."

"But… But you don't have the tools! The equipment! The personnel!" Taiga protested.

"Or the time," Kiriya pointed out. "I don't think Yuri is going to have time for you to perform a complicated surgery on Mizuki."

Hiiro scoffed. "Nonsense. I have everything I need right here, and as for time… Clearly you underestimate my skills, Kujo. I can perform the surgery and have her ready for battle in no time at all."

"But-"

"I will not, however, have time if you all keep fighting me on this," Hiiro interrupted, starting to look annoyed. "We must begin right away if we are to have Mizuki ready in time. Mizuki, lie down, please. Satsuki, my tools."

"Hai, Hiiro-sama," both nurses responded instantly, Mizuki lying down, while Satsuki handed Hiiro his equipment bag.

"Satsuki, you shall serve as my nurse, as usual," Hiiro dictated as he opened the bag and started removing the equipment he needed. "Nico, you shall have to serve as my secondary nurse. I know your training is incomplete, and you've had to rely on Taiga as a teacher, but Satsuki should be able to pick up the slack for you."

"Uh, okay," Nico said, somewhat dazed.

"Why does everyone keep disparaging me?!" Taiga complained.

"Parad, I shall need a sample of your virus to induce antibody production," Hiiro continued, pulling on latex gloves. "Emu, I need you on standby with Dr. Mighty XX to sterilize the area and use choose one healing properties to speed up Mizuki's recovery so she will be fully healed and in fighting shape in a matter of minutes."

"On it," Emu promised as Nico handed the Gashat back to him.

"Taiga, Kujo… I have no use for you so stay out of the way and try not to breathe too loudly, it's distracting," Hiiro commanded, putting on a facemask.

"I feel kind of insulted," Taiga complained.

"Only kind of?" Kiriya grumbled as they moved back.

Hiiro, clad for surgery, approached Mizuki's prone form. "Commencing compatibility surgery."

"This is ridiculous! There's no way you can possibly perform surgery here, let alone that quickly!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

Two minutes later…

"I can't believe you performed surgery here that quickly," said a dazed Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD as Satsuki helped Mizuki back up, the surgery complete. The Bugsters in the audience, who had remained silent throughout the entire procedure, applauded ecstatically. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD was too stunned to yell at them to stop.

"… That had to be the slickest thing I have ever seen," said an awestruck Kiriya.

Taiga whistled. "Damn, Hiiro. I knew you were good, but that? That was on a whole other level!"

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro said not-quite-humbly.

"I can't believe we did that," Parad said, stunned. "I think this is one of the most amazing things I've ever taken part of. This definitely beats every medical simulator I've ever played."

"It was like helping a woman give birth… But somehow even more amazing," Emu agreed, dazed.

"I thought you were a pediatrician, not an obstetrician," Nico pointed out.

"I've done my rounds," Emu explained.

"Mizuki, how do you feel?" Satsuki asked her lover in concern.

"I feel… Fine. Better than fine, actually," Mizuki said in wonder. "I don't think I've ever felt this good. I feel as if I could take on 100 Bugsters!"

"Let's start with just one for now," Hiiro said, handing her the Gamer Driver. "Oh, and you'll need this as well."

Mizuki's eyes widened when she saw the Gashat he was offering her. A smile broke across her lovely features. "How fitting. Thank you, Hiiro-sama. I do not know how I will ever be able to repay you for this."

"Save the patient, and resume your service under me. That is all I require,"Hiiro told her dismissively.

"And return to me," Satsuki added. "That is all _I_ require."

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD groaned. "Ugh. Can we just get going already? When did this turn into a romance?"

"I thought this whole thing was to prove that Emu was worthy of going out on a date with Poppy," Parad pointed out.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD paused. "… Oh, right. That."

"I wonder how she's doing backstage," Emu wondered in concern.

"Oh, she's fine," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said dismissively.

…

Backstage…

"Oh, so NOW you think to ask about me?!" Poppy, who was watching everything on a big screen while stuffing her face with ice cream and candy and popcorn and sweets, yelled indignantly. Snorting, she glanced at her new friends. "Men. Am I right?"

The feminine Bugster Viruses sharing the luxurious dressing room with her nodded and made sympathetic noises as they continued pampering her.

…

Mizuki approached the warp point. She took a deep breath. "I shall return victorious, with my honor restored… Or not at all!"

"Preferably the former," Parad commented.

Sharing a meaningful last look with Satsuki, Mizuki entered the warp point and disappeared.

"So," Kiriya asked, struck by a sudden thought. "Does this mean you're planning to make Satsuki a Rider on her birthday, too?"

Startled, Satsuki shot Hiiro a hopeful look. He smiled faintly but said nothing.

…

Elsewhere…

"So," Momotaros said coldly, staring across the interrogation table at Tsukasa. "Here we are again."

"So it would seem," Tsukasa muttered, fidgeting uncomfortably beneath the intense stares from the two Imagin. "So… Is there a reason you dragged me here again? I thought we were done."

"Oh, we're just hoping you could clear up a few misunderstandings," Urataros said smoothly. "You see, when we had you in here the first time, you claimed you had nothing to do with all of the Heisei Riders disappearing from the timestream and had no clue who was behind it."

"That's right," Tsukasa said warily.

"So… Could you care to explain why now we are getting reports of you fighting a certain Kamen Rider Zi-O, who we now know to a _fact_ to be the one responsible for all this?" Urataros demanded.

"Well, I didn't know he was involved when you interrogated me before," Tsukasa insisted. "I was hired by the Time Jackers to fight him at some point after you last let me off the train."

"A likely story!" Momotaros declared.

"Actually, I think that part is true," Urataros corrected his partner.

"Oh. Still! You're working with a group that's trying to destabilize the timeline! Looks like you've turned evil again, Decade! Now we can throw the book at you and lock you up in time jail!" Momotaros said gleefully. "And trust me, I know from experience that you won't like it one bit!"

"Look, I know the Jackers are bad, but I've got a plan of my own going on, okay?" Tsukasa insisted.

"A likely story!" Momotaros declared.

"Does this plan of yours involve you pretending to be evil as part of an incredibly convoluted scheme which will somehow all work out for the greater good, just like you claim all of your plans will?" Urataros asked skeptically.

"… No," Tsukasa said unconvincingly.

"A likely-"

"Will you stop saying that?!" Tsukasa snapped.

"No!" Momotaros replied.

"I don't suppose you'd like to tell us what your plan is?" Urataros asked.

Tsukasa crossed his arms. "I'd like to speak to my attorney."

Momotaros snickered. "Lawyering up, huh? That's not gonna help you, bub."

"If you really wish to speak to a lawyer, we won't stop you. In fact, they're waiting outside," Urataros said, nodding at the door.

Tsukasa blinked. "Wait, 'they?'"

The door slammed open and the other Taros, wearing business suits and carrying briefcases, barged in.

"My legal briefs will make you cry!"

"Mind if I present new evidence? I can't hear you!"

"Advent, to the witness stand!"

"Let me say this to start… I have never gone to law school!"

"Seriously, how do I let myself get talked into these messes?"

Tsukasa started screaming.

On the other side of the one-way mirror, Reiji sighed. "What a mess. And things seem to be getting even worse. If our entire reality nearly being erased due to Kuuga temporarily ceasing to exist weren't bad enough, now we've got Riders from alternate futures showing up to cause trouble in the present! Do you have any idea how much paperwork that requires us to deal with?!"

"It hasn't been easy for us either," Ryotaro said sympathetically. "We've been racing back and forth across time trying to fix things. We've nearly been derailed half a dozen times due to sudden track changes caused by history shifting around us. Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Well, we could try killing Sougo Tokiwa before he ever becomes a Kamen Rider," Reiji suggested.

"We can't do that! That's wrong!" Ryotaro protested, horrified.

"Plus, it never works, and often creates even bigger headaches," Reiji said wearily. "No, I think we need to take other measures. I've been authorized to formalize the partnership between the G-Men and the Den-Liner Police and provide you with more resources in our ongoing mission to protect the timestream. Additionally, I've reached out to my colleagues at the Time Protection Department for more manpower, and they sent us their best team."

"Time Protection Department?" Ryotaro asked in puzzlement.

Reiji smiled faintly. "That's right, you've never run into them, have you? Well then, allow me to introduce our distinguished counterparts from the distant future…"

The door to the room opened, and five figures wearing color-coded not-spandex and helmets with visors resembling arrows covering their faces. The one in pink stepped forward and saluted. "Capt. Yuri Asami, leader of the Mirai Sentai Timerangers, reporting for duty!"

…

When Mizuki materialized in the schoolyard, it soon became clear to her that things had gotten out of control. Almost a dozen girls, both students and teachers, were fawning over Hatena, who just stood there with an air of resigned irritation. Yuri, flickering and crackling, was sprawled out on the ground, tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched Sakura snuggle up against the Bugster.

 _Oh dear,_ she thought. _I got here just in time._

She crouched down and touched Yuri on her shoulder, startling her. "Don't worry," she said gently. "I know it hurts, and it feels like it's the end of the world, but I promise you, it's not. You'll get over her, and find someone else someday."

"Th-that's! How do you-" Yuri stammered.

"Because I've been there," Mizuki said softly. "When I was your age, I had a Sakura. Her name was Hanako. She didn't feel the same way for me, either. But at least your crush seems like a nice girl who isn't the sort of person who'd rip up your love letter, throw it in your face, and tell you that people like you should just kill themselves."

Yuri gasped. "That's awful!"

"And exactly what you were afraid might happen, wasn't it?" Mizuki asked gently.

"S-something like that, yeah," Yuri agreed.

"At the time, I thought it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. It wasn't, though," Mizuki said, deciding not to mention what really had been the worst moment in life. "And, eventually, I found someone who cared for me in the same way, and we're very happy together. Just like I know you can be, someday."

"That's assuming I'm going to live long enough to see that happen," Yuri said miserably. "I know what's happening to me. I've got the Game Illness. I'm going to die, aren't I?"

"No, you aren't," Mizuki said firmly, showing Yuri her Gamer Driver. The girl's eyes widened, immediately realizing what it meant. "I'm a Kamen Rider, and I'm going to save you. Not just because you're a young girl who deserves to find love, not just because you are also a follower of Malika, but because that's what it is my job to do."

Yuri gasped. "Malika! Then you…?"

Mizuki nodded and showed her a peach charm almost identical to the one hanging around Yuri's neck. "The one I love is, as well. And in the name of our goddess, for my master, and for the woman I love, I shall be victorious this day."

She stood up and started towards the Bugster. "Wait here. I shall handle everything. HATENA! I have come to deal with you!"

Hatena groaned as one of the girls caressed his cheek. "Oh, great. They sent a woman."

Mizuki bristled. "Excuse me?!"

"My apologies, that came out wrong," Hatena said quickly. "I meant no insult. I was merely dismayed that my opponent was, unfortunately, of the gender that the Lovelica part of me is designed to instantly make fall in love with me. Not that I _want_ women to fall love with me-I find this form of attraction utterly repugnant and sexist, not to mention uncomfortably close to date rape – – but unfortunately, I was programmed this way, so I've no choice but to bear it."

Mizuki blinked in surprise. "You aren't enjoying this attention?"

Hatena snorted. "Heavens, no! That is not to say I would not appreciate the company of a discerning woman, but for so many ladies to fall in love with me for no reason other than because my body forces them to? I find it sickening, and if I had any choice in the matter, I would excise the bit of me that causes it to happen posthaste. Regrettably, my 'master' has prevented me from altering my own programming, so there is nothing I can do."

"I must admit, I had not expected such an attitude," Mizuki confessed.

Hatena sniffed in disgust. "Please! I'm nothing like that pervert Lovelica, even if I'm forced to use some of his code! I come from a _puzzle_ game! I prefer more… _Cerebral_ pursuits. Which is why I must warn you not to get any closer to me, lest you also fall under my unwilling spell."

"You may have no fear of that, for your power has no effect over me," Mizuki said confidently.

Hatena tilted his head in curiosity, batting away a girl who tried to kiss him. "Oh? And why do you say that?"

"For the same reason Yuri isn't fawning over you: neither of us are attracted to men," Mizuki said.

…

"… Dammit! I should've accounted for that!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cursed.

"Whoo! Lesbians for the win!" Nico whooped. Satsuki blushed.

…

"An interesting hypothesis," Hatena said, intrigued. "I'd assumed she was unaffected by my power due to being my host. However, you also seem to be resistant to my – – regrettable – – charm. Perhaps this will prove to be more enjoyable than I anticipated. Regrettably, I do not believe you will last long in a battle against me. After all, you are not a Rider."

"Actually…" Mizuki held up her Driver.

"Fascinating!" Hatena declared, getting excited. "I hadn't known there any others in your little group."

"I just became one, actually," Mizuki explained. "My master turned me into one just a few minutes ago."

"Indeed? He must be an incredible surgeon, then!" Hatena marveled, impressed.

"He is. He's the best doctor in the world," Mizuki said proudly.

…

"Suck up," Taiga grunted.

"She's merely speaking the truth," Satsuki said proudly.

"You're a suck up too," Nico commented. Satsuki scowled at her.

…

"Even so, I do not believe you stand a chance of defeating me. I hate to say anything positive about the Lovelica part of me, but due to part of my programming coming from a dating simulator, I do not believe I can be damaged by anything short of a level 99 or higher Rider," Hatena warned her.

"I believe I may know of a possible loophole in that defense," Mizuki told him.

"Truly?" Hatena asked, intrigued once more. "You've piqued my interest. Care to demonstrate?"

"Certainly." Mizuki strapped on her Driver and held up the Gashat Hiiro had given her.

 **| NINJA HURRICANE! |**

"Henshin!"

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **LEVEL UP! MAKIMAKI! TATSUMAKI! HURRICANE NINJA! |**

A holographic screen passed over Mizuki, cladding her in the raiment of the ninja-themed Rider, Kamen Rider Fuma, albeit altered for a more feminine form. She drew her twin Ninjato from her back and struck a pose.

"For the honor of my master, my love, my clan, my goddess, and the life of the patient, I shall strike you down!" She declared dramatically.

…

"Fuma? Now there's a surprise," commented a startled Taiga.

"Though I suppose it does make sense," Parad pointed out. "You know, ninja."

"What?! How did you get that Gashat! I thought I destroyed it after the defeat of Johnny Maxima!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in outrage.

"Why would you do that?" Nico asked.

"Because it's not a game his company created," Emu pointed out.

"Oh, right."

"Machina Vision violated intellectual property law by stealing the data on how to create Gashats and Drivers from Genm!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said angrily. "I was well within my rights to destroy it!"

"When Machina Vision went under after Maxima's death, Genm bought it out as well as the rights to all of their properties, including Ninja Hurricane," Hiiro explained. "After that, it didn't take much effort to remake the Gashat, even stronger than the original."

"Well, the programmers at my company always _were_ superior to those employed by that hack Maxima, especially yours truly," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD conceded. "After all, the Gashats wouldn't even exist were it not for my brilliance!"

"Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back," Taiga grunted in irritation.

"Actually, do," Nico suggested brightly.

…

"A ninja? Well, I suppose there's something to be said for sticking with a consistent theme," Hatena remarked. "Very well, I will allow you one free shot to see if your technique can damage me."

"Release your hostages first," Mizuki commanded.

"Hostages? Oh, right, my hangers-on," Hatena grunted in irritation, reminded of all the women clinging to him. "Just a moment… Could you… Would you all just get off?!"

"But we love you!" Several of the girls cried, clinging to him all the harder, and resisting all of his attempts to dislodge them.

"Notice us, senpai!" Some of the younger students squealed.

"I AM noticing you, I just want you to get off of me!" Hatena snapped, trying and failing to lever some of the girls off with his scepter. "And I'm not your senpai! Oh for the love of… A little help, please?!"

Half a dozen Viruses wearing maid costumes materialized, grabbed onto the females, and wrenched them off of the evolved Bugster. The ladies howled and shrieked and struggled against their captors, but the maids patted them on the head and made soothing noises as they dragged them away from Hatena, who panted in relief once the last of his lovestruck limpets had been removed. "Thank goodness… I finally feel like I can breathe again… Not that I really need to, but, you know."

"Will they be all right?" Mizuki asked in concern, glancing at the bedazzled women, who were sobbing in despair and screaming about heartbreak and falling into despair and was one of them starting to crack up as the telltale indicator of turning into a Phantom?

"Once they've been out of range for long enough, they should snap out of it," Hatena said dismissively.

Mizuki nodded. "Very well. And… The maid outfits?"

"They weren't my idea!" Hatena snapped. "They came with the Lovelica part of me! I'd much rather they wear something less demeaning, but once more, I don't seem to have a choice in the matter. Anyway!" He spread his arms. "Harm me, if you think you can!"

"You may regret making that request." Mizuki charged towards the Bugster, forgoing the battle cries of her peers for the silence of a ninja. Hatena planted his scepter in the ground and stood his ground, waiting for the attack. Mizuki leaped into the air and glided towards him, lashing out with her blades as she flew past, landing gracefully on a bench behind the Bugster.

There was a pause. Nothing happened.

"Hmmph. It would seem your experiment was a-"

 **HIT**!

"Eh?!" Hatena started, clutching his chest in pain. "I… I actually felt that! How did you…"

"Even though Kuroto-"

…

"It's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

…

"-Removed the coding that made you vulnerable to insults from women, that doesn't change the fact that at least half of your programming comes from a dating simulator game," Mizuki explained. "A game where you get game overs by being rejected or failing to woo the object of your affections. Therefore, it stands to reason that even if insults no longer affect you… _Attacks_ from a member of the opposite sex still should!"

…

"WHAT?! NO! Why didn't I think of that?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in dismay.

"You know, that actually makes sense," Parad remarked.

"Why didn't we ever think of that back in the day?" Nico complained.

"Because you didn't want to get anywhere near Lovelica because you thought he was giving you bedroom eyes," Taiga reminded her.

"Oh, right. Freaking pedophile "Nico said in disgust.

"Of course, there's always the possibility that if you HAD tried to fight him, he'd have been able to seduce you into serving him," Hiiro pointed out.

Nico shuddered viscerally. "Oh God, thank you for that mental image."

…

After a moment, Hatena burst into laughter. "Well thought out, my lady Rider! You solved this puzzle quite cleverly! I do think you're going to be a most interesting opponent to fight. I warn you, however, that hit was your only freebie. You're going to have to work a lot harder to get anymore in!"

"I expected nothing less," Mizuki replied, getting into a battle stance.

A moment passed. Neither opponent moved.

"So, are you going to attack me, or…" Hatena asked awkwardly, wondering if he should make the first move or not.

"Sorry, I was half expecting some ninja Sentai to appear out of nowhere to lend a hand," Mizuki apologized.

"Really? Why would that happen?" Hatena asked, confused.

"It's been that kind of a day," Mizuki explained. She waited another moment. "Huh. I guess they're not showing up. They must have something better to do."

…

Elsewhere…

In an abandoned quarry completely different from every other abandoned quarry that had been used as a battleground by Japanese superheroes over the years, two parties approached each other.

One of them consisted of a large group of light blue-clad creatures with warped, ghostlike faces led by a pair of incredibly beautiful monsters, one of which resembled an extremely curvaceous humanoid red and white-furred cat with knee-length golden hair and twin tails ending in ghostly blue flames, the other a very buxom humanoid Fox with gold and white fur with red markings and nine long tails which swished lazily through the air behind her.

The other group largely consisted of figures clad in black with lots of zippers and stitches, topknots, and facemasks with red centipede emblems on them. They were also led by a pair of lovely ladies, though these looked more human. One had dark brown hair in massive odangoes with a bug-like headdress wearing a blue vest over a red sleeveless tunic with thick brown combat boots and gloves, while the other had long pink hair in braids, an angular headdress, and much more sexy attire in purple and black.

The two groups stopped a few meters apart from each other. The four females approaching each other, halting when there were only a few feet of space between them. "Do you have the payment we asked for?" The pink-haired woman asked.

The foxy lady nodded. One of her underlings stepped forward and handed her a briefcase, which she opened, showing the other women several billion yen. The dark-haired girl gasped and looked at the cash reverently, while her partner simply nodded in approval. "Do you have what we asked for?" The Fox asked, closing the case.

The pink-haired women extended a hand, and one of her minions put a second briefcase in it. She opened it, revealing a small golden ceremonial mallet, an ominous-looking shuriken burning with dark power, and a spike that looked like it was a splinter of pure malice nestled in velvet. "As promised, the mallet of Kyuemon Shingetsu Kibaoni, the Yomi Shuriken, and the Nail of Izanami. Just what you need to open the Seal Door."

The Fox nodded. "Then I suppose it's time for us to make the trade."

Suddenly, her partner grabbed her arm, a concerned look on her face. "Kyuubi, are… Are you sure we should go through this? If we open the door, then the world…"

Kyuubi hesitated, a conflicted look flickering across her face, and then sighed. "I know, Neko. But it's the only way to bring them back. We've run out of options." The feline looked crestfallen, but reluctantly nodded in understanding.

Kyuubi took a deep breath, then stepped forward…

And suddenly, a loud sneeze echoed across the quarry as a camouflage sheet fell down, revealing seven color-coded ninjas in not-spandex with visors resembling shuriken of various different shapes. "Whoops," said the one wearing red.

The yellow ninja sighed. "Oh, for fuck's sake."

"Takaharu, you are the WORST NINJA EVER!" The white ninja screamed, livid.

"What?! Sentai? _Ninja_ Sentai? _Here_?!" The dark-haired girl shrieked.

"You set us up!" the pink-haired woman hissed furiously, closing the briefcase. "The deal is off!"

"No! We had no idea!" Kyuubi protested in alarm.

"Yeah, they must've followed us or something!" Neko agreed.

"Yeah, and we didn't come alone!" Takaharu declared proudly. His teammates groaned. "What? Was I not supposed to say that?"

There was a sigh of exasperation and another camouflage screen fell down, revealing six more ninjas in colorful not-spandex, although their outfits were themed more after animals than shuriken. "No, you were totally supposed to say that," the Navy beetle-themed Ranger said sarcastically. "It's not like we wanted the element of surprise or anything like that."

"Oh, all right then," Takaharu said in relief. His teammates groaned again.

"You'll have to excuse my brother," the white shuriken-themed ninja said apologetically. "He's a complete idiot and doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm."

"That's right, I don't! What's sarcasm?" Takaharu asked. His teammates groaned once more.

The two human-looking women gasped. "It's the Hurricanegers!" The dark-haired one cried.

"And the Gouraigers!" The Crimson beetle-themed ninja shouted.

"Right, and them!" The dark-haired woman amended. She frowned. "Isn't it too early for us to bump into you again? It hasn't been a decade yet!"

"I thought it was, more or less," said her confused partner.

The dark-haired woman blinked. "Is it? Has someone been screwing around with time again?"

"And they aren't the only ninjas here!"

Another camouflage screen fell down, revealing five more ninjas in color-coded not-spandex. Their outfits were much simpler, with horizontal strip visors and lightning bolts drawn over each of their left breasts. Everyone stared at them. "What? The element of surprise is pretty much shot anyway, why bother pretending we aren't here?" The red ninja asked. The other Rangers nodded, reluctantly admitting he had a point.

Neko hissed, her fur standing on end. "Kakurangers!"

"You… It's all your fault… You're the ones who've driven us to this… You're the ones who took them from us… You must PAY!" Kyuubi snarled, her tails stiffening and igniting.

"Goddamn ninjas! Kill them! Kill them all!" The pink haired woman shouted.

"You know that never works, right?" The dark-haired woman pointed out.

"Yes, of course I know that," her companion whispered. "That's why the two of us are going to grab the cash and make a run for a while everyone else is distracted."

"Oh, right," the dark-haired woman exclaimed, nodding in understanding.

"What's Kyuubi talking about? We never did anything to her. I don't think we've even met her before now," said the confused white Kakuranger.

"Doesn't matter," said the yellow Hurricaneger as the faceless goons charged towards them. "We'll take them down, just like any other enemy!"

"Yeah! I'm getting fired up!" Takaharu bellowed.

"SHUT UP, TAKAHARU!" All of his teammates yelled.

…

Hatena shifted on his feet. "So, should I make the first move, or-"

Mizuki answered by lunging at him, blades drawn. Hatena used his scepter to block her blade strike and flung her away, firing at her from the blaster on his right hand. Using her ninja agility, Mizuki darted across the yard, evading the shots and deflecting any that got too close with her blades. Noticing she was closing in, Hatena charged up his blaster, pointed it at the ground, and spun around, firing a laser in a circle around him that caused the ground around him to explode just before Mizuki could strike at him, forcing her back.

The end of the Bugster's scepter shot out from the debris cloud and slammed into Mizuki's chest, knocking her back. This was immediately followed up by another laser, which pierced right through the ninja's body…

And causing it to vanish in a puff of smoke, replaced by a log. "What?! Oh for… Are you really going to use that old cliché?!"

"If it works," Mizuki declared as she struck the Bugster from behind, causing him to grunt as sparks and HIT! Signs flew from his back. "I see no reason not to use it."

Hatena whirled around, swinging his scepter at her, but she jumped over it, landed on the rod, and then sprung off, somersaulting over Hatena's head and striking down with her blades, carving into his shoulders and cutting off the bouquet of flowers, causing petals to billow out across the yard.

"Well, in that case, I see no reason not to use THIS!" The Bugster declared, slamming the butt of his scepter down on the ground.

Portals opened in the air, and massive colored blocks in a series of bizarre shapes fell to the ground, throwing up dirt and chips of stone on impact. Mizuki looked up, startled, as a portal opened right over her head, dropping a massive L-shaped block. Before she could move out of the way, it landed on her head, crushing her completely into the dust.

Hatena immediately whirled around, lashing out with his charged-up blaster and firing point-blank into the gut of the real Mizuki, who'd been about to strike him from behind, just as he predicted…

Only to be surprised when she pixelated and turned into a Ninja Gamer, which shot him an amused look from its single eye before vaporizing. "What?!"

Mizuki dropped down from above and lashed out with her blades, slicing them across Hatena's chest in an X-shape and sending him stumbling back, crying out in pain. "Did you think you are the only one who could conjure minions?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," Hatena grunted. "But are yours of a better quality than mine?"

Over a dozen Viruses in maid outfits materialized around him.

Mizuki cocked her head. "Well, they're certainly better looking," she remarked as a dozen Ninja Gamers appeared in puffs of smoke around her.

Hatena glanced at what his underlings were wearing and groaned in distaste. "… Touché."

Crying shrilly, the maids charged the ninjas, who silently drew their swords and moved into intercept. Mizuki stood still as they rushed by her, disappearing once the last one had passed.

Quickly seeing where this was going, Hatena took a few steps back from the ensuing battle between maids and ninjas, summoning more blocks to fall from the sky, dropping most of them into the middle of the fray, not caring whether or not he hit the maids. Fully aware that there was no way the real Mizuki could possibly be hiding amongst them, since it was too obvious, he also started firing his blaster randomly all around him, blasting several blocks to pieces, as well as putting a few holes in the school walls. "You cannot hide from me forever!"

In puffs of smoke, several Ninja Gamers materialized on top of some of the falling blocks, hopping from steppingstone to steppingstone as they rushed towards Hatena. The Bugster swept his scepter sideways through the air, causing more portals to appear from which blocks shot out horizontally, colliding with some of the falling blocks and knocking the ninjas off of them, while others slammed into the ninjas in midair, destroying them.

"Where are you?!" He growled in frustration, firing the occasional energy blasts into the air to take out any ninja that got through his gauntlet. He took a step back to get a better angle…

And the ground beneath his feet gave out, dropping him into a pit trap. As he cried out in alarm, four Ninja Gamers dashed up the walls of the pit, lashing out with their blades as they passed and inflicting damage. Mizuki herself appeared from thin air and hurtled down towards Hatena, blades drawn back to strike. The Bugster thrust his scepter into a wall to arrest his descent and fired his blaster upwards.

He wasn't even remotely surprised when "Mizuki" transformed into a log and a camouflage sheet fell off the wall behind him, Mizuki springing out from it to drive her blades into his back. "How do you keep doing this?!" He cried in frustration.

"Ninja tricks," Mizuki said simply, withdrawing her blades to stab again and again.

" _That explains nothing!"_

…

"I don't remember Nagumo being able to do stuff like this when he was Fuma," Parad commented.

"That's because Mizuki is using an updated version of Hurricane Ninja," Hiiro explained. "In addition, she's an _actual_ ninja, rather than a deadbeat father with some small skill."

"How did she become a ninja, anyway?" Taiga asked. "Did you train her to be one?"

"Actually, no, she's always been a ninja," Hiiro replied.

"… Wait, seriously?" Asked the surprised Kiriya.

Satsuki nodded. "Indeed. Mizuki is heir to a very respected and ancient ninja school, just as I am the heir to an equally respected and ancient martial arts school."

"… Then… Why are the two of you nurses?!" Asked an incredulous Nico.

"After Hiiro-sama saved our lives some years ago, we swore our lives in service to him, choosing to take an oath of nonviolence so that we could better serve as medical professionals," Satsuki explained. "But after we were nearly killed by the Beast Rider Squadron, we decided that if Hiiro-sama and you all could still claim to be upholding the Hippocratic Oath while running around fighting monsters, then we saw no reason we could not do the same, so resumed our training, with aid from Hiiro-sama."

"That's pretty cool," Emu commented.

"Kind of sounds like the sort of premise an anime should be made out of," Parad agreed.

"There's probably one out there already, or least a manga or light novel," Kiriya suggested. "This is Japan, after all." The others nodded in agreement.

…

"Enough! You've done very well so far… But I think it's time I took this to the next level!" Hatena declared.

A portal opened beneath them, and a colored block rose up, pushing them up out of the choose one and flying into the air above the school. As Mizuki quickly regained her balance, she looked around in amazement and trepidation as dozens of other portals opened, and countless colored blocks filled the air, twirling about, colliding with each other, and creating massive orbiting rings of ever-shifting platforms encircling the one they were on.

Hatena took advantage of her momentary distraction to blast her from behind, flinging her off the block they were standing on. She flew through the air, until a block from a newly formed portal slammed into her from the side, knocking her sideways and causing her to land badly atop another block, skidding across its surface and going over the edge, only to catch herself at the last moment. Grunting, she pulled herself up…

Only to be immediately flung into space again as the block she was holding onto slammed into another, shattering and pelting her with shards of rock, dropping her Rider Gauge further. As she tumbled through the air, she managed to spread her arms and legs, a large kite poofing into existence on her back and allowing her to control her descent, gliding towards a slower-moving block below her.

"A kite? You'll have to do better than that, my dear," Hatena chuckled, swiping his scepter through the air and causing a block to smash into Mizuki from out of nowhere…

Causing bits of wood and broken kite to tumble to the ground. He cursed. "Dammit, where has she gone now?!"

Noticing several puffs of smoke, he looked around, growling in frustration and lack of surprise as over a dozen Ninja Gamers appeared on numerous blocks and began coming towards him, jumping from block to block, diving beneath blocks which would have taken off their head and flipping onto other blocks moving in the direction they wanted to go as they navigated his constantly moving three-dimensional labyrinth.

…

"That's some pretty impressive platforming," commented an impressed Emu.

"How are they all doing that, anyway?" Parad wondered. "Is Mizuki controlling them all remotely, or do they have some measure of independent AI, or what?"

Hiiro shrugged. "You're asking the wrong person. I commissioned the Gashat, I didn't make it."

"Well, kudos to whoever made it, then," Emu said.

"It's good to see that my company still has half-decent programmers, even though I'm no longer in charge," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD commented.

"Hey Kuroto, if your minions had AI that good, they might not be so easy to beat," Kiriya teased.

"SILENCE! And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD." Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

…

"You think this to be a challenge?" Hatena laughed. "I'm from a puzzle game! This is child's play!"

He started swinging his scepter through the air, his will guiding the blocks around him. The movement of the blocks sped up significantly, their movements turning more and more erratic and chaotic, forcing the ninjas onto the defensive as they struggled to keep up. One ninja missed its jump because the block it'd been aiming for moved out of the way at the last second, and it plummeted to its death. Another rolled between two blocks just before they crashed into each other, only for the block it landed on to shoot upwards and slam into one above it. A third managed to evade a block which shot out of a portal right next to it, only to be slammed from behind by another portal that had also just appeared.

One after another, the Ninja Gamers were picked off as Hatena rotated, twisted, and reconfigured the block maze, the Bugster expertly crushing one ninja after another. But through it all, Hatena kept his eye open and his guard up, certain that this was all nothing more than a distraction, and Mizuki was already planning her next strike.

"Where will you come at me from, I wonder?" He mused, causing half a dozen blocks to converge on a Ninja Gamer and crush it utterly. "From the sides? Behind? Above? No, you know I would anticipate something like that." A thought struck him, and he glanced down as he suddenly remembered how Mizuki had blindsided him before. "No… Perhaps… Below?"

And that's when the half a dozen explosive shuriken planted on the underside of his block detonated, shattering the platform and causing Hatena to plummet, crying in alarm. He quickly conjured another block to stop his fall, but the moment he landed, half a dozen ninjas shot out of the maze from all sides, slashing him one after another as they flew past. As he reeled, bellowing in pain and fury, Mizuki dropped down from the sky and delivered a powerful double chop to his front, cutting a deep scar into his chest and sending him stumbling backwards, nearly falling off the edge of the block.

Mizuki rushed forward, preparing to finish him off…

Only for her blade to rebound off a wall made of small interlocking blocks which suddenly materialized in front of her, knocking her back. "Wh-what?!"

Hatena chuckled as he regained his footing, the wall disappearing.. "I think, my dear, that's quite enough of that."

Growling in frustration, Mizuki lunged forward for another attack, only to rebound off of another wall of blocks. She darted around the wall as it fell apart and tried to strike the Bugster from the side, only for another wall to stop her. Instead of striking it, she ran up the side and flipped off the top, trying to bring her blades down on Hatena from above. Unfortunately, another wall materialized and rose up to meet her, slamming into her and flinging her back, nearly knocking her off the platform. "What is this?!"

"Oh, something I came up with just now," Hatena explained as more small blocks formed around him and began rotating faster and faster. "I have to hand it to you, my lady ninja. You've pushed me to my limits and beyond in this battle, forcing me to come up with more and more creative uses for my powers. I have to say, this has been a most enjoyable fight. Unfortunately… I think it's time our little game came to an end."

He slammed his scepter onto the ground, and the blocks immediately stopped rotating and closed ranks, forming an interlocking shell completely encasing Hatena. Without warning, the shell suddenly surged outwards, more and more blocks converging from all around to add to its circumference as it rushed towards Mizuki. Thinking quickly, she jumped off the block they were standing on, forming a kite to glide away, only for the expanding wall of blocks to slam into her from behind.

She vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving a log behind, and reappeared on top of the ever-growing sphere, driving her blades in between two blocks in an attempt to pry her way inside. Ninja Gamers appeared in puffs of smoke and started attacking the sphere's exterior in an attempt to help.

Without warning, the blocks they were standing on top of popped up, flinging them into the air and deleting the Ninja Gamers. Crying in alarm, she flailed gracelessly for a moment before summoning another kite and gliding to safety. She realized she'd been flung completely out of the block maze, and shot a glance behind her, seeing that the labyrinth had been completely enveloped by the expanding sphere, and now a huge orb of interlocking colored blocks of various unusual shapes hovered above the city, slowly growing larger as more and more blocks appeared from portals and added to the object's mass.

"… Well, that's not good," she muttered to herself. What was she supposed to do now?

…

"You know, I did not think that Tetris blocks could ever be used this way," Emu remarked, staring at the screen.

"I thought _It's OK Puzzle_ was more of a _Bejeweled_ clone," commented a confused Nico. "I don't remember there being any tetrominoes in it."

"Well, you can blame Togo Kiyomiya and that hack Dr. Pac-Man, Hatena isn't one of the Bugsters I created," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD groused.

"Then why didn't you change that bit of his programming when you remade him?" Taiga asked.

"Because shut up!"

…

"Hey! Over here!"

"Hmm?" Glancing away from the growing sphere of blocks (probably a good idea, to make sure she didn't crash into anything). Mizuki was startled to see what appeared to be a giant pink robot, _pteranodon_ flying just beneath her, six women wearing colorful outfits of not-spandex standing on its back and waving up to her. Eyes widening in recognition, she released her kite and landed before the other heroines. "You… I know you! You're… Mei, the PteraRanger!"

"That's me," agreed a warrior in pink with white diamonds and a belt buckle with a large gold medallion with a _pteranodon_ embossed on it.

"Ranru Itsuki, AbareYellow!"

A woman in yellow with white triangles running down her limbs and a large three-toed claw emblazoned on her chest laughed. "Good to see people still recognize me!"

"Amy Yuuzuki, Yayoi Ulshade, and Yuko Fukui, KyoryuPink, KyoryuViolet, and KyoryuCyan!"

"Well, who else would we be?" Laughed a girl in pink with a horned helmet and epaulet which, combined with the stripes and triangles running diagonally down her chest, made it look like there was a dinosaur head taking up most of her upper body, grabbing two girls wearing similar outfits in purple and cyan by the shoulders and pulling them close. "We're too gorgeous to be anyone else!"

"And… I have no idea who you are," Mizuki confessed, staring in confusion at the last girl.

"Seriously? I'm RyusoulPink!" The last woman, wearing a pink outfit with a large black zigzag taking up the middle of chest, her left torso and arm in silver, and a helmet resembling a mix between a Knight's helmet and a dinosaur head, explained. Mizuki stared at her blankly. "I'm a member of the Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulgers!"

"Is… That a new team, or…" Mizuki asked instantly.

"We debuted back in 2019!" The unknown Ranger cried in exasperation. "Seriously, why does it seem like nobody remembers us or any of the teams that have come after us?!"

"My instruments have detected numerous temporal anomalies," Yayoi spoke up. "That could be the cause."

"Look, that doesn't matter-" Mei began.

"I think it matters!" RyuSoulPink complained.

"What _does_ matter is that we are here to help," the senior dinosaur themed Ranger said firmly.

…

"NO! NO NO NO NO _NO_!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed, slamming his head on his podium repeatedly.

"Yeah, this is going to be a thing from now on, isn't it?" Emu said wearily.

"Well, I certainly wasn't expecting those girls to show up," commented a perplexed Kiriya.

"I was still waiting for the ninjas," Nico agreed.

…

Takaharu, clad in his Chozetsu armor, spun the shuriken on the hilt of his Ninja Ichiban-shoubu-tou as he powered up his finishing move to defeat the weakened Neko.

 **THE SHOUBU! NIN NI NI NIN NI NI NIN NI NIN**

"N-no… Please…" The feline Yokai begged, terrified.

Kyuubi, who had been furiously bombarding the KakuRangers with blue fire and thrashing him with their tails, froze in horror when she realized her partner was in danger. "Neko! _No_!"

" _ **Transcendental Shuriken Slash**_!" Takaharu declared as he raised his sword in the air, the blade extending by several feet as he brought it down towards the helpless Yokai… Only to sneeze, his chop missing Neko by mere inches and instead tearing up the ground behind her, sending his teammates, who'd been battling some Dorodoros and Magereppas, flying.

 **ICHIBAN SHOUBU!**

" _DAMMIT, TAKAHARU_!" Shironinger screamed as she was flung through the air.

"… Whoops," Takaharu uttered, embarrassed.

HurricaneRed hesitated in his fight with his old enemy Wendinu. "Geez, were we ever that bad?"

"I really, really hope not," HurricaneBlue said with a cringe.

…

"This is so unfair! How come I'm the only one who didn't have any other hero show up to lend a hand during my fight?!" Parad complained.

"You defeated Salty solely on your own. Can't you take pride in that?" Hiiro asked.

"First of all, no, because it's Salty. No offense to the guy, but defeating him isn't exactly a major accomplishment," Parad groused. "And no, I can't enjoy it, because that means so far I am the only one who hasn't gotten a cool new toy to play with!"

"I haven't," Emu muttered him.

"And neither have I," Satsuki pointed out.

"Please, Satsuki, with the way things are going Hiiro is probably going to have to turn you into a Rider for the next Bugster fight. And Emu? You're the primary Rider for our team. It's inevitable that you get a new power up," Parad complained.

"He has a point," Taiga acknowledged.

"How do you know that she's even going to get a power up? Taiga didn't," Emu pointed out.

"Yeah, because it's _Taiga_ ," Parad replied.

"HEY!"

…

"You came to help?" Mizuki asked in surprise. "Not to complain, but I was sort of expecting other ninjas."

…

Rentaro Kagura sneezed.

What? Were you expecting more ninja Sentai? We just had a bit with them!

…

"We became aware of your plight through the power of Dino Hope, the mystical energy which binds humans and dinosaurs across time," Mei said dramatically.

"… That's a thing?" Mizuki asked, dumbfounded.

"Surprisingly enough, yes," Yayoi confirmed.

"It took me a while to believe, too," Yuko added.

"When we sensed that you had unleashed a grave threat onto the world due to getting a question wrong regarding our mecha, we knew that you would need our aid," Mei continued.

"… You… Sensed that I got that question wrong, so decided to come out here to help me?" Mizuki asked, increasingly incredulous.

"Again, yes," Yayoi admitted, sounding embarrassed.

"Not the strangest thing that we've ever done," Yuko commented.

"Dinosaur-themed Rangers do have a tendency to have bizarre adventures," Ranru agreed.

"Unfortunately, since all of us are heterosexual, we can't get anywhere near that monster without falling under his spell," Mei went on.

"Actually, I'm bi," Amy corrected her. She was ignored, although Yayoi seemed to find this interesting for some reason.

"Only you, Mizuki, can stop him… But not as you are now. You, too, must also embrace the power of the dinosaurs!" RyusoulPink declared.

"Which is why we showed up to-" Ranru began.

"Give me a power up so I can assume a new dinosaur-themed form capable of defeating Hatena?" Mizuki guessed.

"… Er, yes. How did you know?" Ranru asked, taken aback.

"Pattern recognition," Mizuki said with a shrug.

"Huh?"

"It's been a long day."

…

"I knew it!" Parad cried indignantly. "Just you wait, by the end of the day, everyone will have some great new form but me! And maybe Taiga."

"Oh, come on!"

"We don't know that for sure, there's no guarantee I'm going to get anything, and there's still time for you to get something," Emu suggested.

"And me?" Taiga asked.

"…Sure," Emu said after a moment.

"Seriously?!"

Parad sulked and crossed his arms. "You're just saying that to try to make me feel better!"

…

"Extend your hand, and we shall bestow our power upon you," Mei told Mizuki. "The combination of the bond between dinosaurs and the women strong enough to channel their unparalleled might!"

"But… Only two of you actually have power from a real dinosaur," Mizuki pointed out.

"Three, my partner is an _ankylosaurus_ ," RyusoulPink corrected her.

"… Just… Just extend your hand already," Mei said, sounding nonplussed for the first time.

"Very well." Mizuki extended her hand.

One by one, each of the Rangers placed their hand into hers, with Mei's on top. The six Rangers glowed, energy radiating off of their hands in waves. Beneath them, the Guardian Beast Pteranodon shrieked, as did a second, yellow _pteranodon_ which swooped overhead beside a giant purple _plesiosaur_ that looked like it'd been crossed with a spaceship, and a pink _triceratops_ and cyan and pink _ankylosauruses_ roared on the ground.

Finally, the six Rangers withdrew their hands, and Mizuki was now holding a Gashat shimmering with pink, yellow, cyan, and purple energy, bearing the title of Dino Rampage over an image of every species of dinosaur mecha (whether or not they were actually dinosaurs) used by Super Sentai roaring ferociously.

…

"Aren't you going to start ranting about them creating a Gashat without your permission?" Emu asked Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, who was lying on his podium.

"What's the point?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked dejectedly. "Nobody seems to care anymore."

"We never did to begin with," Taiga pointed out.

"So… Jealous…" Parad snarled through gritted teeth.

…

"Now go forth," Mei decreed. "And use our gift to strike down evil with all the might of the great thunder lizards!"

"Go on a rampage to remember!" Ranru enthused.

"Let them hear your roar!" Amy added.

"Don't forget that I exist!" RyusoulPink shouted.

"Thank you, all of you," Mizuki said, glancing up from the Gashat, and nodding at the female warriors. "I shall never forget this."

She turned, facing the block sphere, which had only gotten bigger while she had conversed with the Rangers. "Now, Hatena… It is time for you to face your reckoning!" She declared, raising the Gashat into the air.

 **| DINO RAMPAGE! |**

"Henshin!"

 **| LEVEL UP! |**

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! ROAR! ROAAAAR! ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAR! DINO RAMPAGE! |**

A holographic screen passed over Mizuki, and several colorful robot dinosaurs flew out of her chest, transforming into armor pieces which slammed onto different parts of her body, creating a suit that looked like another redesign of the Hunter Gamer/Safari Gamer/Beast Gamer form. Her head was encased in a helmet resembling the head of a red _Tyrannosaurus_. Pink and blue armor resembling the heads of _Triceratops_ covered her shoulders. Massive green and yellow talons like those of a _velociraptor_ covered her lower arms and extended out over her hands. Black greaves like the legs of a _brachiosaurus_ covered her lower legs, while talons jutted out from her feet. Yellow and pink _pteranodon_ wings extended from her back, and a cyan and yellow tail ending in a club like an _ankylosaurus_ extended from her rear.

Her eyes flashed red, and as blue electricity crackled around her body, she threw back her head and _roared_ , the strength behind her bellow so great it nearly knocked both Pteranodons and Plezuon out of the air and shattered windows for several blocks, setting off more than a few car alarms.

"Oh my," said the startled Yuko.

"Yeah, now _that's_ a roar!" Amy cried approvingly.

"Rampage all over that monster's ass!" Ranru said gleefully.

"Just remember to rampage _only_ the monster, and not tear down the entire city," Yayoi added anxiously.

"She… She is going to be in control of that much power, isn't she?" RyusoulPink asked uneasily.

"She's a ninja, she should have the discipline necessary to keep her emotions in check," Mei said dismissively. "… Probably."

With a bestial snarl, Mizuki got down on all fours and ran towards the edge of Pteranodon's back, pouncing into the air, her wings spreading and flapping vigorously as they carried her towards the sphere. The five Rangers watched her go.

"… That didn't seem like being in control to me," RyusoulPink commented after a moment.

"She'll be _fine_ ," Mei insisted.

"Didn't even say goodbye…" Ranru muttered.

"So, do we have to stay here and watch the whole thing, because I've got to pick up my daughter soon-" Yuko started.

"Yes," Rei said bluntly.

"By the way, what was your name again?" Yayoi asked RyusoulPink.

"SERIOUSLY?!"

As Mizuki flew towards the orb, several blocks broke off from the side and shot towards her. In her right mind, she might've tried to dodge them.

Mizuki was not in her right mind.

Snarling, she drew back her right talon and lashed out as a block rushed towards her, shattering it in a single blow. A pair of blocks tried to catch her between them from the sides, but she thrust both her arms outwards, piercing them with her talons and skewering them before smashing them against each other and shattering them into pieces of debris. Her wings flapped, generating a powerful gale which blasted the rubble outwards, striking several of the oncoming blocks and knocking them away.

Another set of blocks came at her from above and below, but she did an aileron roll, her wings extending and batting the rocks away. More rushed at her from behind, but her tail elongated and whipped through the air, smashing the blocks to pieces.

In response to this, an entire section of the sphere broke off and surged towards her, a huge wall far too large for her to fly around.

She didn't bother trying to go around. Lowering her shoulder, she charged forwards at full speed, wings flapping furiously as they propelled her towards the oncoming wall. Her _triceratops_ horns elongated and started spinning, and she drove them into the wall, sparks flying as they dug into its surface. With a resounding crack, she smashed through the wall, blocks flying everywhere as she kept going towards the sphere. More blocks erupted from the surface to try and impede her, but she smashed through those as well, allowing nothing to stop her path as she smashed through block after block until finally she slammed right into the surface of the sphere.

A high-pitched whine filled the air as her drill horns struggled to burrow through the surface of the sphere, the composition of the blocks somehow denser than those that she had dealt with already. More blocks burst out of the surface surrounding her and tried to crush her, but her tail lashed out, bashing them all away.

Finally, the surface of the sphere gave, and she smashed through. Another layer of blocks awaited her, but she dug through that one, and the one after that, and the one after that, too ferociously single-minded in her drive to reach her enemy to notice that more blocks were filling the tunnel behind her as she went, sealing her in.

After what felt like an eternity of digging, she finally broke through the last and thickest layer of blocks, bursting into a hollow space at the center of this fear. She howled triumphantly, claws, drawing back to dig into Hatena…

Only to discover that her prey was nowhere to be found. She was the only creature inside the enclosure. She looked around in puzzlement, making confused grunts…

And that's when, without warning, the interior walls caved in, the blocks pressing into her with considerable force as the entire sphere compressed inwards. She bellowed in agony, but the dozens of layers of blocks making up the sphere were so thick, nobody outside could possibly hear her screams.

Hatena, floating on a block outside the sphere, could imagine pretty well what they sounded like, though. "How disappointing," he chuckled. "It seems that your new power boost came at the price of your intelligence. If you had retained your full faculties, it might've occurred to you that there was no reason for me to _stay inside the sphere_. And now you've fallen right into my trap, and it seems as if our game is at an end. Farewell, my lady Rider."

He tapped his scepter on his platform, causing the pressure crushing Mizuki from every angle to increase exponentially. She howled, the pain so great that for a moment she blacked out, only to be snapped back to consciousness as her bones started cracking, her armor buckling and her Rider Gauge rapidly depleting. She thrashed desperately, frantically trying to escape, but was immobilized so tightly that all she was doing was straining her muscles to the tearing point.

As her vision went red and started to go black at the edges, she thought she could hear faint voices penetrating the pain and rage-induced madness clouding her mind.

" _She can't take much more of this!"_

" _If she doesn't do something, she's going to die!"_

" _Damn you, Kuroto! If she dies-"_

" _You will do absolutely nothing! And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"_

" _Fuck it! I don't care if it's breaking the rules, I'm going over-OW! Stupid firewall! I can't teleport over there!"_

" _Mizuki. You are stronger than this. Fight! Break free!"_

" _Mizuki… Mizuki, please… You promised you'd come back! Don't leave me!"_

The voices sounded… Familiar. They were… Her packmates. Her Alpha. Her… Mate? Yes… Her mate. How… How could she have forgotten…

Her leg broke, and she howled again in renewed pain, and the voices in her head screamed with her. She could hear them, begging her to save herself, to win, to come back to them. She struggled, briefly, and nearly blacked out again from the pain. It was no good. She had nothing left.

As darkness clouded her vision, she felt herself drifting away, the pain receding, and felt herself relaxing. It wouldn't be long now. Soon, it would all be over. Soon, she could rest…

" _Is this truly where you wish to fall, my Chosen?"_

And suddenly, Mizuki's vision turned pink.

Outside, Hatena noticed, with some surprise, that Mizuki was still alive. "Incredible. I'm crushing her with 10 times the amount of force needed to turn coal into diamonds, and still she draws breath? Truly, she is a formidable warrior. It is truly a pity that she must die like this."

He raised his scepter, preparing to finish her off… And paused. "Why do I smell… Peaches?"

The sphere, which had gradually been shrinking inwards, stopped. A crack formed in its surface.

"No."

Another crack appeared.

" _No_."

More cracks formed.

"No, no, _no_! That's not _possible_!"

He was instantly proven wrong when, in a blinding flash of pink light, the sphere _exploded_ , fragments of colored stone flying outward and dissolving into peach tree blossoms. Floating in the center of the blizzard of pink petals was Mizuki, a pink glow surrounding her body, a similar hue shining from her eyes and Rider Gauge, which had fully replenished, all signs of damage to her body disappearing.

Her Driver flashed, and a bladed bow-like weapon materialized in her right hand.

 **GASHACON ARROW**!

…

Hiiro, Satsuki, and Kiriya gasped. "No way… Is that what I think it is?" Kiriya asked in disbelief.

"It cannot be…" Whispered an awestruck Satsuki.

"Except, clearly, it is," said a stunned Hiiro.

"I don't suppose any of you would like to fill in the rest of us as to what the big deal about that weapon is?" Taiga asked.

"Or how exactly this latest deus ex machina was carried out?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded.

"That weapon resembles a Sonic Arrow… The favored weapon of Yoko Minato, otherwise known as…" Kiriya began.

"Kamen Rider Malika," Satsuki whispered, reverently. "Goddess of the hunt in the Gaimist pantheon, bride of the indomitable Baron, and the deity Mizuki and myself have sworn our souls to."

"You are rather apt in calling this a deus ex machina, Kuroto," an amazed Hiiro remarked. "For this is nothing short of divine intervention. It would seem that I am not the only Rider here to have earned the favor of a God."

"…Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude," murmured an amazed Nico.

"… So. Goddamn. JEALOUS," Parad, roared through gritted teeth.

"Oh, so now actual GODS are trying to get in the way of my victory?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded shrilly. "It's almost like the entire universe is conspiring to keep me from achieving my goals!"

"Probably because that's exactly what's happening," Kiriya suggested.

"Silence!"

"Look on the bright side, Parad, kat least she didn't get a new Gashat," Emu told the Bugster.

"Give it time," grumbled an extremely jealous Parad.

…

Hatena stared at Mizuki for a long moment, incredulous, before bursting into laughter. "It seems that I wrote you off too soon once more, lady Rider! Again, you've surpassed my expectations! Again, you've proven yourself beyond a shadow of a doubt! Tell me, what incredible feat will you achieve next?"

Mizuki gazed up at the Bugster, her mind clear, the primal fury gone. "I shall defeat you."

Hatena laughed again. "Good! Good! I should be most delighted if you can! If one of us deserves victory in this battle, it is most certainly you!" He gripped his scepter. "But do not think I shall make it easy on you! Come at me with everything you have!"

"If you insist," Mizuki said calmly.

Her wings spread, and with a tremendous flap she shot towards Hatena so fast she created a sonic boom, blasting away all the floating peach blossoms. Hatena waved his scepter, and hundreds of blocks materialized in the air between the two of them, shooting towards Mizuki.

Unlike before, Mizuki did not simply mindlessly barge through the obstacles with overwhelming force like a rampaging dinosaur. No, this time she moved with otherworldly grace, moving in a straight line towards Hatena yet somehow, without fail, managing to shift ever so slightly, so that that whenever a block was about to smash into her, it somehow missed her at the last second. Hatena squinted his eye. How peculiar. It almost looked as if the pink glow surrounding his adversary resembled a person…

While continuing her flight towards Hatena, Mizuki removed her Gashat and inserted it into the slot on her new weapon.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! FINISHING MOVE! |**

She pointed her bow at the Bugster, charging up energy, drawing her free hand back as an arrow of light began to form…

And suddenly, Hatena gestured, and six new blocks appeared, bearing the six dinosaur-themed Rangers. "Not so fast!" Hatena declared, arranging the blocks before him in a rotating circle, the six women giggling and swooning as they stretched their arms out to form a protective wall. "I anticipated. There was a chance that you might be able to break free from my prison, so as a countermeasure, I put your new friends under my spell! While I do detest using such repugnant measures, I'm pragmatic enough to use whatever is necessary to prevail. Can you strike me without harming your allies?"

Mizuki considered this for a moment. "Yes."

 **| DINO RAMPAGE CRITICAL FINISH! |**

The glow surrounding her body taking the form of an armored pink archer vaguely resembling an Arabian soldier, she released her arrow. It shot towards the Rangers, but just before it could strike any of the women, it abruptly split into six, arcing around the girls before recombining on the other side and streaking towards Hatena.

The Bugster's eye widened. "Oh bollocks."

Frantically, he flew backwards, summoning 10 walls of blocks before him, each thicker than the last.

They might as well not even have been there. The arrow effortlessly pierced the barriers like a laser beam and drove right into his chest, exploding out his back in a spectacular light show of roaring prehistoric beasts and peach blossoms.

Choking, he dropped his scepter, staring at the gaping hole in his torso, then through the line of holes in his useless shields at Mizuki, calmly hovering several meters away. "And so it seems… That once again… You have outmatched me, my lady. This has been… A fight to remember. For such an incredible experience, and an amazing battle of wits and strength, I have only one thing to say… THANK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

He fell to his knees and exploded, all of his remaining blocks dissolving into peach blossoms which billowed dramatically through the air. (The blocks the dinosaur Rangers were standing on turned into peach blossoms as well, but thankfully they were caught by Guardian Beast Pteranodon before they could fall to their deaths.)

 **PERFECT!**

…

When Yuri woke up, there were peach blossoms everywhere, and there was a beautiful woman leaning over her. "Lady Minato?" She whispered.

"No, it's just me." Yuri blinked, and suddenly the goddess was replaced by the (still lovely) ninja Mizuki. "It isn't time for you to pass into Helheim just yet."

"Then… You won?" Yuri realized.

"Indeed. You've been cured of the Game Illness," Mizuki said, helping the girl up. "Which means you can go back to your normal life, now."

Yuri instantly flashed back to just a little while ago. When she had given her crush a love letter. When said crush did not react in a way that implied she reciprocated her feelings. "Can I, though?"

Mizuki put her hand on her shoulder. "Things are going to be different for you from now on, I'm not going to lie about that. That doesn't have to be a bad thing, though. What happens next is up to you."

"Yuri?"

Yuri blushed, noticing a nervous Sakura approach, clutching the love letter in her hands. Mizuki smiled and patted Yuri on the shoulder. "I think the two of you need to have a talk. I'll leave you alone."

"Wait!" Mizuki grasped the ninja's wrist before she could walk away. "Thank you. Thank you for saving me. Lady Minato was surely watching over me today."

A queer look passed over Mizuki's face. "And I as well, it would seem."

As the ninja headed for the warp point back to the studio, she paused, noticing six attractive women standing against the fence at the edge of the schoolyard. She smiled and bowed to them out of respect, and entered the warp point, teleporting away.

"I can't believe she shot at us," Amy complained.

"She clearly had it under control," Yayoi pointed out.

"Still, she could've at least hesitated for a moment," Amy groused.

"She did very well for her first battle," RyusoulPink, whose name was still unknown, commented.

"I think she's had lots of fights before this. She's a ninja, after all," Ranru corrected her.

The nameless Ranger shrugged. "Her first battle as one of us, then."

"She's a Rider, not a Ranger," Yuko pointed out.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" the unknown Pink snapped.

"Not only that, she seems to have gained the favor of a divine patron…" Mei observed. "Something that is a curse as often as it is a blessing. I hope she can bear this burden, for her life will never be the same after this." She smiled. "Which I should know, because-"

The other five rolled their eyes. "And here we go," Ranru muttered.

"Yes, yes, you're the chosen one of an ancient dinosaur god, we know, we've heard it a million times," RyusoulPink groaned.

"You know, most of us ALSO have partners who are biomechanical dinosaur warriors from millions of years ago," Amy complained.

"Mine's from another dimension and not nearly that old," Ranru pointed out.

"I said _most_."

"Yes, but mine's a god," Mei pointed out smugly. "And older. And actually prevented an extinction event, while yours… Well, not to be rude, but…

"Yeah, yeah, our partners 'dropped the ball,'" Ranru said sarcastically.

"You know, they DID keep ALL life on Earth from being wiped out," Yayoi pointed out, irritated.

"So did mine! Without her entire species going extinct. Fancy that," Mei reminded them.

The other five women groaned. "Why do we hang out with her again?" Amy grumbled.

"Heck if I know. I don't even know why I hang out with you five! None of you seem to be able to remember my name!" RyusoulPink complained.

"What was it again?" Yuko asked.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF-"

…

Elsewhere…

"METEOR STORM PUNISHER!"

"SUPER RIDER FLASH KICK!"

"GROUNBUSTER X!"

"SKYCUTTER X!"

"ULTIMATE RIDER DOUBLE ROCKET DRILL KICK!"

Ryusei, in his Meteor Storm form, fired the Topper from the end of his Meteor Storm Shaft while the other three Riders leaped into the air and the two Space Ironmen started charging up their weapons. Leaving a blazing trail of energy its wake, the spinning top whizzed through the air, cleaving through Don Hormage's body again and again, slicing the space tyrant into four pieces. Groundain fired his chest blaster, obliterating one piece, Skydain launched her arm blades, which diced another piece into atoms, Kazuya destroyed a third with a flying side kick, and Gentaro and Nadeshiko, holding hands, struck the monster's torso with a rocket-arm-propelled double kick ending in a giant drill bit, burrowing right through his chest and out the other side, digging a deep trench across the ground on the other side as they landed.

Don Hormage howled in agony as the final piece of his body exploded spectacularly. "Yeah!" Gentaro cried, hugging Nadeshiko as she jumped for joy. "We did it!"

The Genmaku sigil glowed upon the ground. Suddenly, all the remaining pieces of Don Hormage's body reassembled, the missing bits regenerating rapidly until the abomination was whole once again, laughing malevolently at their futile efforts. "Or not."

"Fools! No matter how strong you may be, I am Don Hormage! I am immortal!" The seemingly unkillable monster declared.

"If something is alive, it can be killed," Kazuya said firmly.

"I dunno, he seems pretty unkillable so far," Groundain grunted.

"And we should know, we're good at killing things," his sister agreed.

"Madako," Hammy asked the octopus assassin, who had managed to regenerate – – just barely – – after being exploded from inside to birth Don Hormage. "He's made using your flesh. Isn't there anything that can kill members of your species permanently? Any weakness we can exploit?"

The Crystakoskullian, so weak she needed to lean against a somewhat uncomfortable Spada (Raptor was NOT happy) for support, wheezed, "There are… Several ways… But all of them require a method that can either… Completely disintegrate the body, or at… The very least… Simultaneously kill every cell. Make sure there is… Nothing left… To regrow from."

"Our weapons are capable of doing that," Doggie observed. "But unfortunately, Don Hormage cannot be killed by a Super Sentai."

"Maybe if we gave them our weapons?" Umeko suggested.

Houji shook his head. "Our weapons have a security feature that prevents anyone who is not a member of SPD from using them. It's so criminals can't steal them and use them to go on killing sprees."

"Could we deputize them?" Ban asked.

Doggie shook his head. "No, it's not as simple as that. They have to have an official license."

"Well, there must be something that can work!" Said an exasperated Balance.

"Madako, didn't you lose your regenerative ability when the professor turned you into a cyborg?" Champ recalled.

Madako shook her head. "The piece I grew from was cut off before I – – she – – underwent the procedure. I've no idea how it worked."

"Hey, isn't there a Rider who is so powerful his finishing move can destroy planets?" Jasmine recalled. "Cougar or something?"

"Kuuga," Sen-chan corrected.

"Right, him."

"We can't use him!" Geki protested.

"Why not?" Lucky asked.

"This is SPACE Squad! We can't let in someone who isn't space themed!" The Space Sheriff insisted.

Everyone stared him. "I'm not space themed," Jiraiya said after a moment. "And I'm not sure all of us Metal Heroes here are, either."

"It's the principle of the matter!" Geki insisted. Everyone facepalmed.

Gentaro sighed. "Man, I'm nowhere near smart enough to think of a way out of this. Good thing I know someone who is!" He tapped the side of his head. "Kengo, any ideas?"

" _According to the readings I'm getting from your suit, I believe the best method of defeating Don Hormage would be to throw him into a black hole or a supernova,"_ Gentaro's friend Kengo Utahoshi reported. _"Given his power levels, those are the only things I can guarantee will destroy him utterly."_

"Great! Hey guys, we need to throw him into a black hole or supernova!" Gentaro yelled. "Anyone know what we can find one of those?"

Retsu shook his head. "We can't use a black hole. Given his power over Makuu Space, he could twist it into a warp which will suck the entire universe into the evil dimension."

"Then we need a supernova," Tsurugi concluded. He grinned. "How legendary!"

Nadeshiko gasped. "Oh! Gen-Chan! I know just where to go! I recently came across a star that looked like it was going to blow up any day now! That should do just fine!"

"We don't need it to blow up 'any day now,' we need it to blow _now,_ " Ryusei pointed out.

"We can blow it up when we get there. Nadeshiko, where is it?" Gentaro asked eagerly.

"Here, I'll show you," Nadeshiko said, touching her hand to her boyfriend's forehead. Her hand melted into silver liquid, which wrapped around the top of his helmet.

Ryusei shuddered. "That will never not be creepy."

" _Everything_ you meatbags do to us is creepy to us," said a disgusted Skydain.

"Eh, I've seen stranger," Kazuya said, unimpressed. "I'm a Showa Rider, after all. You kids think you've seen it all? Trust me, back in my day we had some _seriously_ weird shit. Starfish Hitler's just the tip of the iceberg…"

"Uh-huh… Okay… Got it!" Gentaro declared, the eye modules on his mask flashing.

As Nadeshiko withdrew her appendage, Gentaro removed his Cosmic Switch and stuck it in the base of his Cosmic Module Barizun Sword.

 **| LIMIT BREAK! |**

A massive swirling blue wormhole opened up behind the surprised Don Hormage. "Eh? What is this? What do you think you're-"

"OUR FRIENDSHIP WILL UNITE THE UNIVERSE!" Gentaro and Nadeshiko shouted as they rammed into the startled overlord, their rocket modules blazing, taking him by surprise and flinging all three of them into the portal, their screams fading as they vanished from the battlefield.

"Father! No!" cried the horrified San Dorva.

"Don't worry, son, no matter what they plan to do with your father, it won't work!" Witch Kiba said confidently.

"Don't be so sure of that," Geki said smugly. "Everyone, get to your ships! We're going after them to finish this! Space Squad, _move out_!"

…

When Mizuki materialized back in the studio, she was immediately glomped and kissed by a crying Satsuki. "I was so worried!" the other nurse cried, coming up for air. "For a minute there, I thought you died!"

"I think I actually did, for a little while," Mizuki confessed. "But then… I can't really describe what happened, but I heard _Her_ voice, and an impression that it wasn't my time to go just yet."

"Sure would've been nice if some hot goddess had done the same for me when I got murdered," Kiriya grumbled.

"We met her – – or an aspect of her, I think – – during the whole Gorider thing," Emu reminded him.

"We did? Oh, right. Sorry, you know my memory of the time I was dead is inconsistent," Kiriya complained.

"Okay, I think I'm ready to convert if there's a chance that something like _that_ can happen to me for being a follower of this religion. Where can I sign up?" Nico asked eagerly.

"We can take you to the local temple after all this is over," Hiiro promised her. "I'm ordained, so can oversee your induction into our ranks."

"Wait, you're ordained? You never told us that," said a surprised Emu.

The surgeon shrugged. "It didn't seem important."

"Sweet! Hey, Taiga, want to get in on some of this?" Nico asked.

"Don't you think it's kind of disrespectful to join a faith just because you hope to get some perks out of it?" Taiga asked with a frown.

"Taiga, that describes literally every religious person ever," Kiriya pointed out. The former radiologist grunted.

"Hey, can I join too?" Parad asked.

"Parad, I don't think they'll give you a new power up just for joining," Emu told him.

"You don't know that!" the Bugster said defensively.

"Mizuki. What happened to you is a literal miracle, something that cannot be described by medicine. How do you feel?" Hiiro asked the ninja.

"I feel… Fine. Healthy. More at peace," Mizuki confessed. "As if someone, somewhere out there is watching over me." Her gaze went distant. "I almost feel as if there is a hand on my shoulder… A whisper in my ears…"

"Did you actually see her?" Satsuki asked, reverently.

"I… I am uncertain. Like I said, it is hard to describe what happened to me. I remember… Lots of pink. And the smell of peaches," Mizuki whispered. She paused. "Also, I think she likes you."

Satsuki squealed shrilly at that.

"Oh, hey, speaking of miracles, it looks like the pizza guy's here," Kiriya observed as a hideous insectoid monster walked onto the stage, holding several pizza boxes.

"How do they keep even getting in here?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded in frustration.

"Gah! Horrible insect monster! Kill it, kill it!" Nico shrieked, hiding behind Taiga.

"Nico, that's not a horrible insect monster, that's a Worm," Emu scolded her.

"Which are a race of horrible insect monsters," Parad pointed out.

"… Well, yes, but there's no need to be rude," Emu conceded.

"You know, it's not like I find you fleshbags particularly appealing to look at, either," the Worm complained. "I mean, you've got your skeletons on the _inside_. That's so freaky."

"They're hiring Worms for pizza delivery service now?" Taiga wondered.

"They hired Charlie," Kiriya pointed out.

"Yeah, don't be racist!" Parad said indignantly.

"You were the one just calling him a horrible insect monster second ago!" Taiga protested.

"I can actually see the appeal in hiring a Worm. That Clock Up ability must make it pretty easy to make speedy deliveries," Hiiro remarked.

"Eh, it has its drawbacks. While to all you smoothskins it must look like I'm moving really fast, for me, I'm moving at the same speed as always and everything else just got reaaaaaaally slow," the Worm explained. "Which means a lot of walking. A LOT of walking, since I can't exactly use public transportation while Clocked Up. You have no idea how much I spend on orthopedic care. Anyway, here's your pizza."

"And here's your tip," Nico said, handing some cash.

"Is that my money or yours?" Taiga asked suspiciously. Nico just smiled at him. "Dammit."

"If you're all quite finished goofing around," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped as the Worm left and the heroes started opening up their pizza boxes. "I think it's time we moved onto the next question!"

"You're just jealous you aren't getting any pizza," Parad teased him.

"Don't taunt me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled.

"But it's so much fun!" Parad chuckled.

"It really is," Kiriya agreed.

"Guys, maybe we should tone it down a little? We don't want him to give us another super-tough question and get into ANOTHER boss fight," Emu pointed out.

"That's a fair point," Taiga admitted.

"Not as fun, though," Parad complained.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD harrumphed. "This isn't exactly fun for me, either! It was supposed to be, but then you all went and ruined it."

"And we're very sorry," Nico managed to say with a straight face.

"You don't mean that," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said suspiciously.

"You're right, I don't," Nico confessed. The others chuckled.

Paste field. "I am SO looking forward to the end game… But until then, it's time for the next question, and if you all thought we were done with dinosaurs, think again!"

He gestured at the screen.

 **Which of the following cannot claim to have had a hand in the extinction of the dinosaurs?**

 **A. Machine Beast Mothership Fog Mother**

 **B. Great Witch Bandora**

 **C. Hyde Gene**

 **D. Dark Species Deboss**

 **E. Barbaric Machine Clan Horonderthal**

 **F. Wicked Life God Dezumozorlya**

…

 **No, I'm not fond of Takaharu. Why do you ask?**


	23. Question 21

Two things to note before we start the chapter: first of all, the answer pretty much everyone chose is not the answer I had originally picked. After some thought, I grudgingly decided there was some logic to that choice, so chose to let it stand. Second, it came to my attention that I forgot a certain second Cyan Kyoryuger in the previous chapter, so I went back and edited her in, if anyone cares to take a look.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Okay, so… Am I the only one who thinks that 'Machine Beast Mothership Fog Mother' sounds kind of redundant?" Parad questioned.

"It's not just you," Emu assured him.

"Fog Mother is an alien life form which arrived on Earth 70 million years ago, and spawned monstrous Fog that eventually wiped out the dinosaurs," Satsuki recalled.

"She killed the dinosaurs with poisonous fog?" Asked a confused Nico.

"No, that's the name of her species. The Fog," Satsuki explained.

"I'd say that's a strange name for a species, but then again, who are we to judge?" Kiriya reflected. "After all, we live on a planet that's more or less named 'Dirt.'"

"Wait, I think I heard about this. She was defeated by Kamen Rider J, right?" Taiga recalled.

Satsuki nodded. "That's right."

"Which one is he?" Nico asked.

"You know how like every week Sentai fight monsters who turn into giants after being defeated, so need to fight back in giant robots?" Emu asked. "Well, J can become a giant using his own power to fight other giant monsters."

"Cool," Nico said.

"What's he up to these days?" Kiriya wondered.

"I believe he was hired by the government to serve as a warden on Monster Island, where they keep a variety of kaiju contained," Hiiro told them.

Nico perked up at this. "Including Godzilla?"

"Including Godzilla."

"… _So cool."_

"So, the answer is not Fog Mother, then, since she _did_ wipe out the dinosaurs," Emu concluded.

Mizuki nodded. "Yes. As did every other villain on that list."

"… I beg your pardon?" Parad asked her after a moment.

"About 65 million years ago, an alien horror called Hyde Gene arrived on Earth, collected the genetic material of the dinosaurs to modify his own body, then wiped them out," Mizuki explained. "At the same time, Horonderthal, a giant robot from another dimension, also arrived to kill the dinosaurs. As did a second alien horror called Deboss. And a third one called Dezumozorlya, who hitched a ride on the meteor which struck the planet around then."

"Wait, wait," Taiga interjected, incredulous. "Are you telling us that Earth got invaded by five alien monsters in the Cretaceous period, and _all_ of them wiped out the dinosaurs?"

"Well, four alien monsters, and one robot from another dimension, yes," Mizuki confirmed.

"That doesn't count as an alien monster?" Kiriya asked.

"If we're defining 'alien' as from another planet in our universe, rather than something from a completely different reality, then no," Hiiro said.

"How… How is that even possible?!" Parad demanded. "How did they not all run into each other during their mutual genocides?!"

"How do _we_ not run into other heroes and bad guys all the time, even though we all live in the same country, if not the same city?" Nico questioned.

"… That's a really good question," Parad admitted.

"Maybe they all just wiped out all the dinosaurs in their little corners of the world, figured it was good enough, and called it quits?" Kiriya suggested.

"I'm pretty sure genocidal aliens don't work like that," Hiiro said. "And I'm fairly sure most of them were all active in Japan at roughly the same time, since that's more or less where they emerged in more recent times."

"Yeah, but just about _everything_ emerges in Japan, that doesn't really mean anything," Taiga pointed out.

"Kiriya may have something there, actually," Mizuki remarked. "Both Fog Mother and Hyde Gene went into hibernation for millions of years after they ate their fill, only waking up to devour the next dominant species, humanity. Horonderthal battled a trio of dinosaur-themed living trains from his dimension of origin and all of them got fossilized in the process. Deboss was frozen at the South Pole after being defeated by a group of biomechanical dinosaurs. Dezumozorlya lay dormant in his meteor for millions of years, and was also split between two separate dimensions at that."

"Wait, what?" Emu asked.

"When the meteor containing Dezumozorlya hit the Earth, we were split in two, creating one world where the dinosaurs still existed, and ours, where they did not," Mizuki explained.

"I don't think meteors work that way," Nico protested.

"And yet, that other world exists," Mizuki countered. "Where do you think the Abarangers get their power and mecha from?"

"So… What, all those different monsters fell asleep or were defeated/sealed away independently after committing their genocides, which is why they never bumped into each other?" Taiga asked doubtfully.

"It would seem unlikely, but then again… Considering all the other ancient horrors and legendary heroes which were roaming about millennia ago which apparently never encountered each other…" Hiiro pointed out.

"How the heck did they just miss each other all the time?" Taiga asked, unsatisfied.

Emu shrugged. "The same way we do?" Taiga grimaced, but said no more.

Kiriya whistled. "Damn, the Cretaceous sure was a busy time period."

"Wait, what about that other one? The witch?" Parad asked.

"Bandora lived 175 million years ago, and tried to wipe out the dinosaurs in retribution for her son being killed by one," Mizuki explained.

"While I can sympathize, that seems like a bit of an overreaction," Kiriya commented.

"She also sold her soul to the devil. The _actual_ devil."

"… Definite overreaction."

"She was defeated and sealed away on a distant planet, only to get out in the 90s and try to destroy the world again. She was defeated and thrown back into space once more," Mizuki went on.

"And then… Um, didn't she get time off for good behavior and get made the leader of wizard heaven?" Emu recalled. "I think I heard about that somewhere."

"Wizard heaven?" Nico questioned.

"It's an actual place," Emu insisted.

"Yes, that's right," Mizuki confirmed.

"Wait, so… If she lived 175 million years ago, and was defeated, then that means… She must be the answer, since clearly the dinosaurs still existed for over 100 million years after her banishment," Taiga realized.

"That seems to be logical answer," Hiiro agreed.

"Yes, that would seem to be…hmm?" A queer look crossed Mizuki's face. Perplexed, she took out the Dino Rampage Gashat, which was glowing and pulsating. After staring at it for a moment, she nodded and put away. "Well, that changes things."

"Huh?" Parad asked.

"That was the girls, reaching out to me through the power of Dino Hope to prevent me from making another mistake," Mizuki explained.

"I still can't believe that's really a thing," Nico commented.

"Really? _That's_ where you're drawing the line?" Kiriya asked.

"Fair point," she conceded.

"So… They're saying it's _not_ Bandora?" Satsuki questioned.

Mizuki nodded. "No, it's not. While she didn't succeed in wiping out the dinosaurs, she did drive them to the brink of extinction and certainly annihilated a number of species. Dezumozorlya, on the other hand, technically never killed anyone. When his meteor hit the Earth, all the dinosaurs were transported to another dimension, surviving and evolving into a new species. Which he then nearly drove extinct when he finally woke up in about 2002, but that's irrelevant to the current question."

"So _Dezumozorlya_ is the correct answer, not Bandora," Hiiro inquired.

Mizuki nodded. "That's what the girls tell me, yes."

"Whew! That was a close one," Kiriya said in relief, exaggeratedly wiping away some sweat. "Good thing you have a hotline to those new gal pals of yours, or else we would've been in ANOTHER back-to-back boss fight!"

"Great, so your new Gashat ALSO serves as a psychic cell phone," Parad complained. "So not fair!"

"Hey! You can't do that!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested angrily. "That's cheating!"

"And how is it any worse than anything you've done, or all the other times we've blatantly broken the rules?" Taiga demanded, staring at the madman in disbelief.

"All that is one thing. Phoning a friend for help is another!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted. "You might as well just look up all the answers on your phone and throw all sense of drama and difficulty out the window, then!"

There was a pause. "… Wait, you mean, that was an option?" Asked an incredulous Parad.

"How did we not think of that sooner?!" A shocked Kiriya demanded.

"It's not an option! Forget I said that!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said quickly, realizing to his horror he had made a terrible mistake.

"No," Hiiro said flatly.

"It will do you no good to try! None of you know the Wi-Fi password, and do you _really_ want to use up data on something like this?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked frantically.

"Actually, I think all of us have an unlimited data plan," Emu informed him.

"Wait, we do?" Asked the surprised Taiga.

"All of us except for Taiga have an unlimited data plan," Emu corrected.

"When did you all get unlimited data?!" Taiga demanded.

"We signed up for a plan provided by the government since we all work for or are affiliated with CR," Kiriya explained. "What, you didn't get the memo?"

"No! _No, I did not!"_

"If you try to look up the answers on your phone, I'll release the new virus!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD declared desperately.

Everyone groaned. "Typical," Parad grumbled.

"You can't keep hiding behind that threat forever," Kiriya warned Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"I can and I will," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled.

"That threat won't protect you from the answer to the question… Which is F., Wicked Life God Dezumozorlya," Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Dammit… I would've gotten you, if that accursed unauthorized Gashat hadn't spontaneously created a telepathic connection between Mizuki and those dinosaur woman to tell her the right answer!… that sounded less weird my head."

"Hey, how come none of our other new Gashat give us psychic links to the people who gave them to us?" Kiriya wondered suddenly.

"That would be kind of cool," Nico agreed.

"Feel envious! Feed the flames of your jealousy!" Parad enthused. "Then I won't be the only one!"

"Parad, stop being weird," Emu told him.

"Not until I get my own power up, dammit!"

"You know, _I_ didn't get a new power up, but you don't see me complaining," Taiga pointed out.

"You got your own team! And are you _really_ telling me you don't feel the slightest bit jealous?" Parad demanded.

Taiga hesitated. "Well…"

"I knew it!"

"I don't give a damn about your jealousy!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "It doesn't hold a candle to my burning resentment for the fact that all of you are still breathing! Now deal with the next question already, and I promise you, that psychic hotline of yours won't be able to tell you the answer to this one!"

 **Which of the following is** _ **not**_ **an actual evil organization defeated by Super Sentai?**

 **A. Wicked Electric Kingdom Nezirejia**

 **B. Dark Science Empire Deathdark**

 **C. Armed Brain Army Volt**

 **D. Underground Empire Tube**

 **E. Neo-Dimensional Brain Reconstructive Underground True Empire of Baros LOL**

 **F. Criminal Organization Crime**

 **G. Machine Empire Baranoia**

 **H. Machine Empire Black Magma**

 **I. Machine Onslaught Empire Matrintis**

 **J. Reconstructive Experiment Empire Mess**

…

 **That's a lot of options, huh?**

 **Incidentally, I had originally planned for Kamen Rider Quiz to make an appearance in this chapter, but then I figured the Dino Ranger girls might have been upset if Mizuki made another incorrect guess on a dinosaur-themed question, so turned Dino Rampage into a psychic cell phone so they could make sure she wouldn't screw up again. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll find a use for him later.**


	24. Question 22

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"So… Judging by prior experience, given that E. is the most ridiculous option, I'm going to assume that it's a real evil organization and that the right answer is… Let's say… G. Machine Empire Baranoia," Parad guessed.

"Actually, the Machine Empire Baranoia is a real evil organization created by a robot named Emperor Bacchus Wrath after he was banished from Pangaea 600 million years ago," Mizuki corrected him.

Parad threw up his hands in exasperation. "Of course it is."

"Wait, there were people around back then?" Nico asked in surprise. "Advanced enough to build robots?"

"There were apparently humans living in dinosaur times as well, despite it flying in the face of everything we know about evolution and conventional theories of prehistory, so it's not that much of a stretch," Emu pointed out. Nico reluctantly admitted he might have a point.

"Bacchus Wrath? He actually called himself that?" Asked the skeptical Taiga.

"Well, the alternative is that someone decided to name him that, and I'm honestly not sure which is worse," Kiriya pointed out.

"Did he have a particular penchant for wine or parties?" Hiiro asked.

"No, though he was apparently very fat," Mizuki reported.

"Why would anyone intentionally build a _fat_ robot?" Nico wondered.

"Maybe he remodeled himself to look that way?" Emu suggested.

"Let me rephrase that. Why would anyone intentionally _want_ to look like a fat robot?" Nico inquired.

"There are some things we are better off not knowing," Kiriya said wisely.

"So if it's not G., what is it?" Parad asked.

"And who keeps coming up with such ridiculous names for evil organizations?" Nico questioned.

"And why are there so many Machine Empires?" Taiga wondered.

"Because killer robots wanting to wipe out all organic life are a dime a dozen, I suppose," Hiiro said with a shrug.

"As an artificial life form myself, I take offense to that," Parad complained.

"You tried to wipe out humanity too," Taiga pointed out.

"I got over it."

"Well… I've certainly never heard of the Neo-Dimensional Brain Reconstructive Underground True Empire of Baros LOL," Mizuki confessed after more thought.

"Wait, you mean the most ridiculous name is actually the right one for a change?!" Parad asked in disbelief. "Geez, I just can't win, can I?"

"Mizuki, are you certain?" Satsuki asked.

"Well, I don't exactly have the same sort of encyclopedic knowledge of Super Sentai that you do of Kamen Rider history, but I don't believe I've ever come across any mention of an organization by that name," Mizuki told them. "If the organization does exist, whoever vanquished it were not Super Sentai."

…

Meanwhile, at the Secret Base Café…

A sneeze shook the restaurant.

"HAKASE! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!"

"Sorry, Nobuo, we're still in a fanfic."

"DAMMIT!"

…

"In that case, the answer is… E., the Neo-Dimensional Brain Reconstructive Underground True Empire of Baros LOL!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "The Neo-Dimensional Brain Reconstructive Underground True Empire of Baros LOL – – which is a rather grandiose name for what was basically a one-man operation run by a fanboy of Sentai villains with a bit of a talent for making his own monsters – – was never fought by any official Sentai team. They were defeated by an unofficial group, instead."

"There are unofficial Sentai?" Nico asked in surprise.

"A few. We have some unofficial Riders as well," Taiga told her.

"Are we clear on whether or not the other Amazons are official Riders?" Parad asked. "We're pretty sure G isn't, right?"

"I think it depends on who you ask," Emu said.

"Well, if you asked them, what would _they_ say?" Parad pressed. Emu shrugged.

"Perhaps we should try something a little more… Challenging," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said ominously. "Let's see if you can handle this one!"

 **Some of the following monsters have been defeated by Super Sentai, and some have not. Can you tell which is which?**

 **A. Shibuyakouzorinahigenagaaburamushi**

 **B. Kabukichōmesugurohyoumonchou**

 **C. Hanabikinikibinasu**

 **D. Jishakunagengorou**

 **E. Kinmokuseikamikakushi**

 **F. Yoyogisujibokehashirigumo**

 **G. Monzennakachōhashibirokō**

 **H. Shiyohosenkameleon**

 **I. Kunimasmaphogany**

 **J. Tsuribakatsuoribu**

…

 **I think another question we should all ask ourselves is who comes up with the names for the kaijin. How do you even pronounce some of this stuff?! How many times do you think the actors screwed up their lines trying to say these names right? Do you think there's like a blooper reel somewhere of actors trying and failing to say the monster's name with a straight face? Wonder how many takes that must've taken.**


	25. Question 23

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Everyone stared at the question in stunned disbelief. "This...this is a joke, right?" Taiga pleaded, a hint of desperation in his voice. "There's… This can't be a real question. Right?"

"How… How can any of those be actual monster names?! I don't even know how to pronounce half of those!" Parad exclaimed.

"Mizuki, please tell me you know the answer to this question," Nico pleaded.

Mizuki stared at the question, eyes wide. "… I have absolutely no idea what the answer is."

Everyone whirled to look at her in horror. "What you mean, you don't know the answer?!" Kiriya cried with more than a bit of hysteria in his voice.

"I told you, I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of Super Sentai! I'm not Satsuki!" Mizuki said desperately.

"Mizuki, are you _certain_ you have no idea what the answer might be?" Hiiro asked sharply.

Mizuki shook her head in despair, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Hiiro-sama, but I just don't know the answer to this one! This is my fault. I should've studied harder. I-"

"Okay, before you start blaming yourself, or trying to commit seppuku – – which is NOT okay – – let's try to come up with a way out of this," Emu said rationally, trying to calm everyone down.

"Like what?!" Kiriya demanded.

"… I was really hoping someone else would've come up with something by now," Emu admitted. Everyone groaned.

"We could try… Guessing?" Satsuki suggested hesitantly, glancing up from trying to comfort her beloved.

"I'm pretty sure if we tried that, we'll just get it wrong," Taiga said gloomily.

"But if we do nothing, we'll STILL get it wrong," Parad pointed out.

Nico grimaced. "So… There's nothing we can do, and Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

"Is about to unleash a new Bugster upon the world?" The girl finished.

"It… Would appear to be that way, yes," Hiiro said unhappily.

"Yeah, unless some miracle occurs and saves everything at the last minute," Kiriya agreed.

Nothing happened.

"I said, unless some miracle occurs and saves everything at the last minute," Kiriya said a bit louder.

Nothing happened.

"I SAID-"

Without warning, a hexagonal portal appeared in the air above them, opening onto what appeared to be some sort of swirling high-tech tunnel.

 _ **FASHION! PASSION! QUESTION! QUIZ!**_

A flurry of question marks flew out of the portal and swirled through the air, coalescing to form a humanoid figure in a black suit covered with red question marks on the right side and blue question marks on the left, a belt with a large red and blue question mark making up most of the buckle, a panel on his chest with a red O on the right side and a blue X on the left, and a mask with large gold question marks making up the eyes and an even bigger one taking up most of the forehead.

As everyone stared in disbelief, Kiriya pumped a fist. "Yes! Score one for the rule of drama!"

"No! No no no _no_ _**NO**_!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in outrage, pounding a fist on his podium so hard sparks started flying. "It's bad enough that I get Riders and Sentai popping up during my Bugster fights, but now I've got one invading my studio, too?! Unacceptable! Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"That's… Something I think all of us would like to know," said a baffled Emu.

The newcomer raised a finger into the air. "My name is Mondo Douan, also known as Kamen Rider Quiz! O or X?"

The panels on his chest started flashing and the sound of a ticking timer filled the air.

Everyone exchanged confused looks. "… O?" Taiga offered hesitantly.

The O panel flashed, and a dinging bell could be heard. "Correct!" Said the new arrival, also known as Mondo.

"And… What are you doing here, Mondo?" Asked a very confused Hiiro.

"Yes, why have you invaded my studio and stuck your nose in my business?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded.

"I have traveled back in time from the year 2040 to help the Doctor Riders and their allies answer this impossible question! O or X?" Mondo inquired.

His chest panels started flashing again. "O!" Parad yelled quickly, seeing where this was going, at the same time a frantic Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted, "X!"

"Correct!" Mondo told Parad, while Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD recoiled in alarm as he received an electric shock.

"Wh-what? That… That felt like… The sensation I receive whenever Hojo gets a right answer! How did you do that?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded shrilly.

"The technology in my Quiz Driver was inspired by this game, which is legendary in my time among quiz enthusiasts such as myself! O or X?" Mondo asked.

"O!" Everyone yelled.

"Correct!"

"Can you say anything other than a question? O or X?" Taiga asked, getting a little fed up with this.

Mondo hesitated for a moment, then chuckled. "O! Heh, that was a good one. Sorry, sometimes I can get a little too caught up in my own gimmick. Right, let's do this properly. My name is Mondo Douan, also known as Kamen Rider Quiz. I hail from the year 2040, and I traveled back in time to help you solve this seemingly impossible riddle."

"Whoa, you're really from the future?" Asked an amazed Nico.

Mondo nodded. "I am!"

"That's so cool!" The girl gushed. "What are the games like in your time?"

Her friends looked her. "Really? That's what you want to know?" Kiriya asked in disbelief.

"Actually, I wouldn't mind knowing that myself," Emu admitted.

"Same here! Has EA started implementing a better business model? Are micro-transactions a thing of the past? Does the plot of the Kingdom Hearts franchise ever start making sense? Did they ever make Half-Life 2: Episode 3?" Parad asked eagerly.

Mondo laughed and shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't tell you too much about that, since video games aren't really my thing, but as for the last one, I can definitely tell you… No. No, they have not."

Parad swore. "Fucking Valve!"

"Wait, you're from the future… And you traveled almost 20 years back in time… To help us answer a quiz question," Taiga asked slowly.

Mondo nodded. "That's right!"

"… Seriously?"

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time a Rider has traveled back in time for some reason or other," Hiiro remarked. "… Though usually for something a bit more important than a quiz question."

"Considering lives are on the line here, correctly answering quiz questions are pretty important right now," Kiriya pointed out.

"Not to mention that for me, answering quiz questions is serious business," Mondo said seriously.

"As is GETTING THE HELL OFF MY STAGE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted indignantly. "It's bad enough I keep getting people interfering during my boss fights, I don't need them barging onto my stage and answering questions for my contestants! Get out and go back to your own time before I call security!"

"Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Mondo cried in delight, walking across the stage and shaking the startled villain's hand. "I have to say, it's actually a bit of an honor to meet you!"

Everyone stared at the Rider in disbelief. "… It _IS_?!" the heroes cried incredulously.

"It is?! I mean, uh, of course it is! Everyone should be honored to be in my presence!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said quickly, shaking Mondo's hand in delight and confusion.

"Wait, I thought he was here to help us! What's he doing shaking Kuroto's hand?!" Parad asked in alarm.

"Maybe he's actually a bad guy?" Satsuki asked uncertainly.

"He said he was here to help us. Why would he do that if he were a bad guy?" an uncertain Emu reasoned.

"If he were a good guy, why would he be shaking Kuroto's hand?!" Taiga countered.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD! And why exactly are you honored to meet me, if you're a good guy? I mean, assuming you are a good guy," a perplexed Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked Mondo.

"Like I said before, this game is legendary in my time among quiz enthusiasts," Mondo explained, releasing Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD's hand. "And was part of the basis for my Quiz Driver. In fact, it would not be an understatement to stay that I owe at least part of my heroic career to the show you're putting on right now! It was a real inspiration!"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD preened at that, flattered. "Well, I'm pleased to know that my legacy lives on in the future! It must feel pretty good to meet one of your heroes, huh?"

"Hmm? Oh no, you misunderstand," Mondo corrected him. "I actually think you're an utterly reprehensible excuse for a human being. While I respect you for creating the game that helped inspire me to become a quiz master and hero, that doesn't mean I have to like you or anything."

As the heroes burst into laughter, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD flushed in embarrassment. "I should have known it was too good to be true…" He growled.

"Wait, if this game is part of your origin story, should you even be here?" Emu asked in alarm, struck by a sudden thought.

"Yeah, won't you being here change history, and screw up your own future?" Parad seconded, seeing where his partner was going.

Mondo shook his head. "Actually, no. You see, according to recordings of this game, when Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD posed you all with this impossible question, a hero matching my description appeared from out of nowhere to help you solve it. Once I became Kamen Rider Quiz, I finally realized that hero was me, and after I'd gained some experience and access to time travel, I came back here to make sure events unfolded as they were supposed to, closing the time loop."

"So you aren't just here to fanboy over your favorite quiz, but to ensure your own future happens," Taiga realized.

"Classic time travel story," Kiriya said with a grin.

"Well, if you're here to help us, you'd better do it now, I think we're nearly out of time to answer the question," Emu said anxiously, nodding at the monitor.

"Hmm? Oh, of course!" Mondo exclaimed, glancing at the screen. "Right… A, B, F, G, and I are all monsters defeated by an unofficial Sentai group called the Akibarangers."

…

Meanwhile, at the Secret Base Café…

A loud sneeze shook the café.

"HAKASE!"

"Still a fanfic."

"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

…

"All of the others are monsters defeated by the Abarangers," Mondo concluded.

Hiiro frowned. "Wait… Abarangers? Mizuki, isn't one of your new dinosaur Ranger friends from that group?"

"Hey, yeah, why didn't she tell you the right answer through your magical psychic hotline Gashat?" Kiriya demanded.

Mizuki's face darkened. "That is a question I would like answered myself." She pulled out her Gashat and glared it for a moment. Her eye twitched. "Seriously?!"

"What is it?" Satsuki asked.

"Ranru says, and I quote, "We fought tons of monsters with impossible to remember or pronounce names back in the day. How am I supposed to tell them all apart?" And now everyone else's yelling at her," Satsuki grunted in frustration.

"They aren't the only ones who'd like to yell at her.…" Taiga growled.

"That doesn't matter right now," Emu said quickly. "Kuroto! The answer is… What Mondo just said!"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Fucking dammit! I almost had you all that time!"

"Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, Kuroto," Kiriya jeered.

…

While traveling across the galaxy through a wormhole with his girlfriend and the raging Don Hormage, Gentaro felt a strange shiver run down his spine.

…

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

"And with that, my work here is done," Mondo declared.

"Wait, you're leaving already? You just got here!" Said the surprised Parad.

"Yeah, don't you want to stay and help us answer more questions? Prevent Bugster attacks? Really get under Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD's skin?" Kiriya pleaded.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

"I'd love to, really, I would," Mondo said apologetically. "But according to history, this is the only time I show up during this game. Doing anything more than that could change the future, which could have unforeseen effects for my own life." He glanced up at the still-open time portal. "Also, the timestream is a little unstable right now, so it could be dangerous for me to stay too long. Something's been causing a lot of temporal anomalies lately."

Hiiro frowned. "We may have noticed that, actually."

"Yayoi mentioned that as well… I wonder what's causing all this," Mizuki wondered.

…

Elsewhen…

Geiz and Tsukuyomi, hearing screams, raced in the direction people were running from. "It must be the Another Rider!" Tsukuyomi declared.

"And Sougo still hasn't come back with the Ridewatch yet… I'll just have to hold it off until he gets here, and hope there haven't been too many casualties!" Geiz snarled.

Their hopes were dashed when they arrived at the scene and found the Another Rider, a green humanoid abomination vaguely resembling a monitor lizard with wicked claws, sharp arm fins, and huge glowing red eyes set in a skull-like face, its grotesque mandibles feverishly masticating on an arm that it had torn from a human corpse lying at its feet, one of several lying all over the place. Given the violent wounds in the bodies and copious amounts of blood covering the ground, it was clear none of the monster's victims had died pleasantly. As the creature finished stripping the limb of all its flesh and bent down to start feeding on its victim's entrails, the word AMAZON and the number 2016 were exposed on the side of its head and its back.

Geiz and Tsukuyomi, no strangers to violent deaths due to growing up in a dystopian war zone, threw up. "We're too late," the young woman moaned, ashen.

"Dammit! What are the Time Jackers thinking?! They can't really think to make something like _this_ the new king, it would be even worse than Oma Zi-O!" Cried an outraged Geiz.

"It does seem counterproductive, yes," the prophet Woz agreed, standing next them as if he'd always been there. Since he always did that, neither of them were too surprised by his sudden appearance. He shook his head in disgust. "As much as you despise my overlord, Geiz, at least he has never turned to cannibalism!"

"No, he's just committed countless other crimes against humanity," Geiz shot back. "Sougo's taking too long, I don't care if I don't have the right Ridewatch, I have to stop this before any more people die!"

He strapped on his Driver and took out his personal Ridewatch…

"Wait, wait, don't start without me!" Sougo shouted as he rushed over, Ridewatch clutched in his hand. "Sorry I'm late, it took me longer than I expected to-" He stiffened, staring at the abattoir before him. "What… What happened?"

"You were late," Geiz said angrily. "That's what happened."

"Late? I…" Sougo trembled for a moment, reeling at the amount of blood and dead bodies lying everywhere.

And then he hardened, a cold look in his eyes. "No. I will allow no more of my subjects to die."

Tsukuyomi startled at this. For a moment… For a moment, he'd sounded far too much like his older self…

"Well said, my overlord!" Woz said proudly. "Show this monster the power of the future King!"

Sougo strapped on his Driver.

 **TIME DRIVER!**

He pulled out and activated his personal Ridewatch.

 **ZI-O!**

He plugged it into the Driver and pushed it down at an angle, a large clock appearing behind him and ticking loudly. "Henshin!"

He spun the Rider 360°. The belt buckle set with a click, ZI-O flashing across its face as behind him, the clock set, the words 'Kamen Rider' also appearing in katakana.

 **KAMEN RIDER! ZI-O!**

The clock split apart, and several rings resembling a watchband revolved around him, his suit materializing on his body and the katakana for 'Kamen Rider' formed over his visor. He then set his new Ridewatch.

 **AMAZON**!

He placed the watch into the socket on the other side of his Driver, and spun it.

 **ARMOR TIME! GII-GII-GII-GII! AMAZON!**

A large , dark green mechanical monitor lizard appeared and split apart, turning into armor parts which snapped into place on Sougo's body, causing his suit to resemble a somewhat less monstrous version of the Another Rider, the katakana for 'Amazon' forming his visor and a scarf billowing in the breeze.

Woz opened his book and dramatically proclaimed, "Rejoice! The one to inherit all Rider powers, the king of time who will rule over the past and the future. And his name is Kamen Rider Zi-O! Amazon Armor my overlord what are you doing that's the wrong Amazon."

Sougo gave him a confused look. "What are you talking about? You said I had to get the Ridewatch for Kamen Rider Amazon, so that's what I did."

"My overlord, I told you to get the Ridewatch for the _2016_ Amazon. That's clearly the form for the one from 1974!" Woz said in exasperation.

"… Wait, there's more than one?!" Said a surprised Tsukuyomi.

"Six to be precise, though most of them are from 2016 to 2018, but that's not important," said an irritated Woz. "My overlord, why did you get the watch from the 1974 Amazon? It clearly says right on Another Amazon's body that it's from 2016!"

"But… But you told me to go all the way to the Amazon rain forest to find the guy who's supposed to be Amazon!" Sougo protested. "And it wasn't an easy journey. I nearly got eaten by a crocodile!"

"What? I did no such thing!" Woz protested.

"You didn't, but _I_ did!" A familiar voice proclaimed.

Everyone whirled around to see a figure identical to Woz, only dressed in light gray and wearing a hat while carrying a high-tech tablet notebook, walk over, a smug look on his face. "You!" Woz sneered.

"Yes, me!" The other Woz declared triumphantly. "I sent your overlord on a wild goose chase after the wrong Amazon so I could secure the correct Ridewatch for my Savior!" He held up a new Ridewatch. "Behold, the proper Amazon Ridewatch!"

"Whoops," Sougo said, embarrassed.

"My overlord, how could you fall for that?!" a hurt Woz demanded.

"I thought he was you!" Sougo protested.

" _We wear different clothes!"_

"Actually, I changed my outfit so I could pretend to be you," the other Woz interjected. "Surprised I didn't think to do it sooner, actually." He held out the Ridewatch to Geiz. "Take it, my Savior. Use it to defeat Another Amazon, and then your foe, Oma Zi-O!"

Geiz grit his teeth. "No! I won't do it! Whatever you're planning, I won't be a part of it!"

The other Woz sighed dramatically. "Regretful, but unsurprising. Unfortunately, my Savior… I'm not giving you a choice." He flipped open notebook book and started dictating into it, the words appearing on the pages inside. "'Suddenly, Another Amazon noticed the humans arguing nearby and chose to attack them to try to satisfy its unending appetite for human flesh, forcing Geiz to take up the Amazon Ridewatch to stop it.'"

Sure enough, Another Amazon's head snapped up. Seeing the four humans nearby, it released a terrifying scream and started charging towards them on all fours.

Tsukuyomi cried in terror and started shooting at it with her blaster, while Sougo rushed down to engage it. Trembling with fury, Geiz snatched the Ridewatch from the other Woz. "This isn't over!" He snapped as he strapped on his Time Driver and activated his personal watch.

 **TIME DRIVER!**

 **GEIZ!**

"HENSHIN!"

 **KAMEN RIDER! GEIZ!**

 **ARMOR TIME! OMEGA: EVOLU-EVOLUTION! AMAZON!**

The other Woz chuckled as Geiz transformed. "No, my Savior… It's just beginning."

The first Woz made a face. "… Is that really what I sound like?"

…

"I… Might have an idea what's causing that," Mondo said evasively. "But it's nothing you can do anything about. By the way, does the name 'Sougo Tokiwa' mean anything to you?"

Emu frowned. Something about the name sounded strangely familiar, but… "No, should it?"

Mondo sighed. "Yeah, that's about what I thought. Don't worry about it. Anyway, I think it's time I left. It was an honor to meet you all. Kind of a dream come true, really."

"Wait," Emu said as Mondo turned to look up at the time portal. "I have a question for you."

Mondo paused. "Oh?"

"Will we ever see you again? O or X?"

Mondo was still for a moment. And then he burst into laughter. "O! Definitely O!"

And with that, he transformed into a storm of question marks and flew up into the hexagon, the portal sealing behind him.

"So that was Kamen Rider Quiz, huh?" Kiriya asked after a moment.

"I'd say quizzes are a strange thing to base Riders off of, but then again, we have a guy themed after wine," Taiga commented.

"Yeah!… Wait, what?" Nico cried, doing a double take.

"I think he seemed like a pretty cool guy," Parad remarked. "I wouldn't mind testing my wits against him at some point, if I ever get the chance."

"I'm just glad to know that even in a few decades, there will still be Kamen Riders," Emu commented, smiling under his mask. "Our legacy really does seem to go on forever, doesn't it?"

"Hey, Kuroto, does the existence of Mondo mean that whatever evil scheme you're brewing now doesn't have a chance of working, since if it did, there's no way he could even exist?" Kiriya asked. "I mean, if you took over the world, there's no way you'd let any other Riders exist, right?"

"There's such a thing as alternate timelines. And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled. "Still, I have to admit I'm pleased that even in a timeline where I – – by some impossibility – – fail, my works and games are still remembered fondly, even if I am not."

"And that's what really matters, right?" Emu asked.

"No! Don't be stupid!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "I'll be satisfied with nothing less than the undying worship and veneration of all lucky enough to share this planet with me!" He pressed a button. "Here, see if you can figure out this next question. And there better not be any more unwelcome interlopers into my studio, or there will be some real trouble!"

 **Which of the following Yokai fought the Kakurangers, and which fought the Ninningers?**

 **A. Kappa**

 **B. Gashadokuro**

 **C. Nue**

 **D. Ittan-Momen**

 **E. Nurikabe**

 **F. Tengu**

 **G. Kamaitachi**

 **H. Yuki-Onna**

 **I. Binbogami**

 **J. Oumukade**

…

 **I fell in love with Mondo the minute I first saw him fighting. It was like this story's premise, weaponized, on television! How could I NOT include the guy?**

 **Unfortunately, he's not going to show up again until near the end of the story, so don't expect to be bailed out this time.**


	26. Boss Stage 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"So… Yokai are real," Nico said after a moment. "You know, I'm not even surprised anymore."

"They're very real," Emu confirmed. "And not nearly as friendly as the ones in Yokai Watch."

"Aren't most of the Yokai in Yokai Watch little shits that screw around with humans for the heck of it?" Nico recalled.

"Yeah, these Yokai are a lot worse than that," Emu told her.

"Well, it's a good thing we have Mizuki here. All those Yokai were defeated by ninja Sentai, and as a ninja herself, she should be able to give us the answer," Parad suggested.

"Dude, just because she's a ninja doesn't mean she knows all ninjas," Kiriya chided him. "Don't be a fucking racist."

"I don't think racist is the right term," Taiga told him.

Kiriya frowned. "Well, I'm sure it's _something_ -ist."

"Actually, I do know them. We go to a lot of the same conferences," Mizuki spoke up.

"Oh," Kiriya said.

"Then you do know the answer," Hiiro assumed.

Mizuki bit her lip. "… Not… Exactly. You see, the thing is… Both the Kakurangers and the Ninningers fought Yokai. And… I believe all of the Yokai in the question were fought by _both_ teams."

"… Oh. Oh, that is a problem," said an alarmed. Parad.

"Wait, both teams fought the same monsters? Is that allowed?" Asked an incredulous Nico. "I mean, that sounds like laziness to me."

"She's not wrong. The Kakurangers fought the Yokai Army Corps, while the Ninningers fought the _Kibaoni_ Army Corps," Emu spoke up.

"What's the difference?" Parad asked.

"One is a group of Yokai born from the darkness within human hearts that were sealed away by legendary ninjas 400 years ago and led by an incarnation of evil, the other is a group of Yokai created by using cursed shuriken to possess inanimate objects and vehicles and led by the reincarnation of a warlord who was killed by a group of legendary ninjas nearly 450 years ago," Emu explained.

"… Yet. Totally lazy," Parad complained.

"And let's not even get started on how many monsters of the week throughout Sentai history are based off of baku, complete with the same dream gimmick," Kiriya grunted.

"Satsuki, is there no way for you to determine which Yokai was beaten by which team?" Hiiro asked.

Mizuki shook her head despondently. "I'm sorry, Hiiro-sama. Without pictures, I can't possibly tell which variety of Yokai are being referenced."

"Then… How are we supposed to answer the question?!" Nico demanded.

"We're not," Taiga said, glaring at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. "Isn't that right, Kuroto?"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled. "And of course this question can be answered! It's not my fault if you aren't smart enough to figure out which Yokai are which."

"It _is_ your fault, since you're giving us these Yokai without context, and even if we did somehow manage to guess correctly, you'd probably claim we were completely wrong, and trigger another boss fight anyway!" Parad said angrily.

"Come now, does that really sound like something I would do?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked innocently.

"Do you _really_ want us to answer that?" Taiga snarled. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD laughed ungraciously.

"And here we thought the last question was impossible," Kiriya grumbled.

"You know, it really is a shame Mondo left. He could probably give us the correct answer," Satsuki lamented.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. All we know is that he isn't here, and we must find a solution on our own," Hiiro pointed out.

"Except… I don't think there is a solution," Emu confessed. "I think we're going to have to take a hit on this one."

"You mean… Fail, and trigger another boss fight?" Parad asked in concern.

Emu sighed. "Unless anyone else has a better idea?"

Nobody did.

"I'm very sorry. Once again, I have failed," Mizuki lamented.

"It's not your fault, Mizuki," Satsuki assured her. "This question is clearly rigged. There's no way to get the right answer."

"Even so, I cannot help but blame myself," Mizuki said unhappily.

"You know, it's a pity you didn't get help from the ninja Sentai after all. Maybe _they'd_ have been able to magically give us the answers through your Gashat through the power of… Um… Is there some kind of magical force that binds all ninjas together?" Nico asked uncertainly.

"Nintality," Mizuki reported.

"Right, that."

"Where were they, anyway?" Taiga wondered.

"Probably off on a new adventure of their own. We can't expect everyone to just drop what they're doing and spontaneously help us out," Kiriya suggested.

"Well, it'd better be a damn big one," Parad said grumpily.

…

 **"** **HEXTUPLE CONNECTION! FINAL GADGET!"**

A tremendous blast of power fired from the massive bazooka formed from the combined weapons of the Hurricanegers, Gourangers, and Shurikenger, annihilating the last of the remaining Gareppas and sending Furabiijo and Wendinu flying.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NOT AGAIN!" Furabiijo wailed.

"CURSE YOU, NINJAS! WE'LL BE BACK FOR REVENGE!… IN ANOTHER 10 YEARS, GIVE OR TAKE!" Wendinu howled.

"Looks like we're blasting off agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain!" They shouted as they vanished over the horizon.

Neko paused in the middle of her frenzied battle with the Ninningers to spot the briefcase containing the mallet, shuriken, and the nail, tumbling through the air, having been dropped by the two former members of Jakanja when they were launched skyward. "The briefcase!" She gasped.

"Neko! Get it!" Kyuubi cried, glancing away from her largely one-sided fight with the Kakurangers. "I'll hold them off!"

She spread her tails, tremendous balls of Foxfire forming on the ends of them and launching into the air, zigzagging wildly about and bombarding the three groups of ninjas, who cried out as explosions blew them away.

"I'm on it!" Neko cried, leaping into the air and catching the briefcase, landing safely on the ground with the piece of luggage held tight to her chest. "I got it! Kyuubi, I got-"

She was cut off when a katana burst out from her stomach. She choked on her words, blood dripping from her mouth and from the wound.

"No," said Ninjaman as he withdrew his sword from her back. "I've got _you_."

Neko's eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed to the ground, still clutching the briefcase.

Kyuubi's eyes widened in horror. "NEKO!" She howled in fury and terror, unleashing a tremendous blast of Foxfire which sent the Kakurangers flying. Roaring in incandescent rage, she charged towards her fellow Yokai, blue fire washing over her and causing her to transform into a colossal nine-tailed white and gold Fox with red markings the size of a house, leaving flaming footprints in her wake as she rapidly ate up the distance across the quarry, darkness dripping from her jaws.

If NInjaman had eyes, they would probably be very wide. "Somehow, I get the idea I've just made a tremendous mistake-"

He was cut off when Kyuubi viciously grabbed him in her jaws, ripped him in half, and hurled the pieces away, much to the horror of his friends.

"NInjaman!" NinjaBlack cried.

"Wow, good thing that was my straw dummy, or else I'd be dead," NInjaman, standing right next to the black ninja, commented, startling everyone.

"Wait… Straw dummy? But…" The confused HurricaneBlue began, pointing at the dismembered pieces of NInjaman in the distance, which were clearly not a straw dummy.

"Yes, it sure is a good thing that was your straw dummy," NinjaBlue said loudly. "Play along, unless you want him to realize he couldn't have actually survived that, and should really be dead," he hissed to the others.

"… Okay, I know I'm not the smartest-" Takaharu began.

"That's an understatement," his cousin Yakumo muttered.

"But even I don't see how that should work," Takaharu protested.

"Just go along with it, big brother. It's not worth it," his sister said, patting him on the shoulder.

Kyuubi curled herself around the injured Neko, conjuring a wall of fire around them and summoning several dozen Dorodoros to keep the ninjas distracted. She gently started licking her partner's gaping wound, the hole in her chest growing smaller with each lick until finally it was sealed shut. "Neko? Neko, can you hear me?" She asked gently, an undercurrent of terror and desperation in her voice.

"Nnnngh…K…Kyuubi?" Neko asked weakly, eyes flickering open to see the giant vulpine head gazing down at her in concern and relief.

"Yes, I'm here. Don't strain yourself, you took a very bad hit back there," Kyuubi told her companion.

"I… I was run through… I should be…" Neko began.

"Fine," Kyuubi said firmly, nuzzling the feline affectionately. "You're perfectly fine. You just need some rest, that's all."

"The… The briefcase!" Neko gasped, suddenly remembering. "I got… I got the briefcase!"

"You did. You did very well, Neko. Rest now. I will take it from here," Kyuubi promised her.

"We can… We can get them back now…" Neko whispered, tears running down her cheeks. "We can… We can finally…"

"Yes. We'll be a family again. We will open the Seal Door right away…" The mighty kitsune glanced up at the three teams of ninjas, who had almost finished defeating her minions. "Just as soon as I finish up here."

"Kyuubi?" Neko cried in alarm. "We don't… We don't need to fight them. We have what we came here for. We can go. We don't need to deal with them ever again."

"No. They tried to kill you. They tried to take you from me. That is _unacceptable_ ," Kyuubi snarled, eyes burning with hatred. "If I let them live, they'll never stop coming after us. For the safety of our family, and our future, they all must die."

"Kyuubi-" Neko protested.

"Shhh. Rest now. Let Kyuubi handle everything," the Fox soothed, breathing gently onto Neko's face. Without a word, the feline Yokai immediately fell into a deep sleep.

In a ripple of flame, Kyuubi assumed her human form just as the ninjas finished off the last of her underlings. Bending down to pry the briefcase from Neko's claws, she calmly told the heroes, "I didn't want it to come to this, you know. This never concerned you. If you had just stayed out of it, and let us go on our way, Neko and I could have our happy ending, and you would never need to hear from us again."

"The minute we heard you were trying to open the Seal Door and free Daimaou, this became our concern," NinjaRed insisted.

"Did you really think we were going to just sit back and let you destroy the world?" KiNinger asked.

Kyuubi snorted. "Free Daimaou? Destroy the world? You really don't have a clue, do you? I don't give a shit about that old bastard, and I'm fine with the world the way it is."

This came as a surprise to everyone. "Wait, what? But… Then why are you trying to open the door?" KuwagaRaiger asked.

Kyuubi pointed a claw at the Kakurangers. "Why not ask them? It's their fault Neko and I have been forced to go to such lengths to begin with."

"What? What are you talking about?" Asked the confused NinjaWhite.

"Where do I start? Maybe it had something to do with you killing my sister Kitsune and Neko's sister Bakeneko. Or maybe it had to do with you sealing the door between the human and Yokai world and starving so many of the Yokai living here of the energy they need to survive." Kyuubi's eyes narrowed. "Or maybe, just _maybe_ , it's because when you sealed away Daimaou and so many of the other Yokai, our _children_ got trapped on the other side!"

"Your… Your _children_?" Shurikenger cried in disbelief.

"Oh… Oh no…" NinjaBlue whispered.

"Wait, you're both girls, how could you-" a confused Takaharu began.

"Not the time!" His sister hissed.

"They could be adopted," MomoNinger suggested.

"They aren't, actually, but that's irrelevant," Kyuubi snarled. "We've been spending _decades_ trying to find a way to rescue our kin from the other side without causing too much collateral damage to the world we've come to love, but nothing's worked. Breaking open the Seal Door is our only hope of bringing back the Yokai we love."

"I… I'm sorry about your family," NinjaWhite said sincerely. "But… We _can't_ let you open the door."

"If you want to see your family so badly," NinjaYellow said, brandishing his sword. "Then allow us to send you to them on the other side."

Kyuubi threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Another Yokai beaten, another monster of the week defeated and forgotten about? Well, I have no intention of being another mark on your list of conquests."

"Do we have one of those?" Takaharu wondered.

"Bring it. You aren't the first nine-tailed fox we've beaten," StarNinger bragged.

Kyuubi laughed again. "You speak, of course, of that (literal) bastard Kyuemon? That mewling daddy's boy who couldn't cut it as a ninja, so had to steal the power and skill of his rival? The fact that you refer to him and myself in the same breath shows that you _really_ don't know who you're talking to. That pretender Yokai was naught but a cub sucking on his mother's teat compared to me. Who do you think it was that taught him all the magic he knew? And as for my sister… Well, I love her dearly, but I was always the stronger of the two of us."

"… I don't think she's blowing hot air, guys. Something about her seems… Familiar… And terrible beyond imagining," commented the unnerved MidoNinger.

"You keep saying we don't know who we're dealing with. Just who _are_ you, then?" NinjaRed asked.

Kyuubi grinned, the briefcase opening up and the three items inside floating out to hover before her. "I have lived for 9999 lifetimes. I have studied underneath both Inari and Tomomo Mae. I am the first and greatest master of Yokai Sorcery. I am the one who even King Enma fears. I am blood-sister to Amaterasu no Okami, Creator of all that is good and mother to us all. I am a mother, a sister, a lover. And most importantly, in this instance… I am the one who will erase you ninjas from the face of the earth for what you've done to my family."

"You know, technically, your beef is with the Kakurangers, they're the ones you have the most history with and we just got called in to help-" KuwagaRaiger started, only to be hit by an irate HurricaneBlue. "I'm just saying!"

"I have been known by many names in many times…" Kyuubi continued. "But the name you shall know me by, the name you shall die with on your lips, is _Kyuubi no Okami,_ the Yokai God!"

Kyuubi snatched the mallet out of the air and slammed the Yomi Shuriken on to it, giving it a spin. "Yokai Sorcery: Swelling Corpulence!"

She lightly bopped herself on the head with the mallet. Purple flames engulfed her, and she began growing in size until she became a colossal giant towering over the ninjas, Neko cradled gently in one of her now-immense hands.

"Wait, she made herself big before we defeated her? Is that allowed?" Asked the surprised MidoNinger.

"It happens now and then," HurricaneRed told her.

"Everyone, summon your strongest mechas! This is going to take everything we've got!" NinjaWhite declared.

Roughly 3 to 4 minutes of shouting, stock footage, and lengthy transformation sequences later, the three ninja teams were arrayed before Kyuubi in Super Kakure Daishogun, Revolver Tenrai Senpuujin, and Super Ha-Oh Shurikenjin (a newer configuration created to utilize MidoNinger's OtomoNin, Kaerumaru), as well as Ninjaman, who had assumed his giant form of Samuraiman. The Yokai smirked, which was not the reaction most monsters would have when faced with such considerable firepower. "So you're going all-out… Good. Too bad it won't be enough, since _I'm just getting started!"_

Placing Neko on her shoulder, she took out the Izanami Nail, supersized like the rest of her. Placing it on the ground, she raised the mallet into the air. "Yokai Sorcery: Demon's Gate Invocation!"

She slammed the mallet onto the nail, driving it into the earth. The Nail pulsed with dark power, an elaborate spell seal etching itself across the ground in purple flames. The seal flashed, and eight lines of fire radiated outwards from the Nail, a chain of explosions erupting down their length and knocking the four giant robots back. Fissures spread outwards from the eight lines, following the markings of the spell seal precisely, and then the entire quarry floor exploded as… _Something_ emerged from beneath.

"What… What _is_ that?" Asked a horrified MidoNinger.

"Are those… Are those tentacles?" Asked KabutoRaiger, seeing eight long, flailing appendages writhing about in the debris cloud. "It is some sort of giant octopus?"

"No… No, I think it's something much worse than that," said a horrified NinjaWhite.

Samuraiman gasped. "Wait! I think… I think I recognize this beast! But… It cannot be, my masters, the Three God Generals, vanquished it ages ago, at great cost!"

Kyuubi cackled. "They did… But not well enough, I'm afraid."

As the debris cloud settled, the ninjas were able to behold the true face of the horror the ancient fox had conjured up… All eight of them. Eight massive serpentine heads wearing samurai helmets hissed and snapped at the air, their long black-scaled necks curving and weaving through the air, joining into a sick central trunk with a gigantic palace mounted on its back. A throne was embedded in the front of it, a throne in which Kyuubi, dwarfed by the great snake she had conjured up, was seated, the sleeping Neko resting on a cushion in her lap, a lengthy nine-pronged sword clutched in the hand that was not holding the mallet.

"Behold, ninjas, the instrument of your destruction, the eight-branched giant snake… **_Ultimate Yokai: Yamata no Orochi!"_**

The eight heads roared in unison, jets of fire shooting into the air as the ninja Sentai looked on in horror.

And on a nearby ridge, Rentaro Kagura, Kamen Rider Shinobi, looked on. "Looks like I've got my work cut out for me…" He muttered.

…

"So, it's agreed then? We forfeit the question and take whatever Bugster boss fight comes of it?" Emu asked the others.

They nodded reluctantly. "Loathe as I am to admit it, I don't really see any other option," Hiiro said in disgruntlement.

"So which of us do you think will be picked this time?" Nico asked.

"I think he's either going to have to let Satsuki go after all, or pick one of us again," Taiga reasoned.

"He could also send out Poppy," Parad suggested.

"You really think he would?" Kiriya asked skeptically.

"Probably not, but he doesn't have a lot of options at this point," the Bugster replied.

"Taiga, if Satsuki _is_ chosen, can you perform the compatibility surgery on her?" Emu asked Hiiro.

The surgeon nodded. "Of course. I already have a spare Gamer Driver and a new Gashat I commissioned for her ready."

"Your foresight and generosity, as always, knows no bounds, Hiiro-sama," Satsuki said gratefully.

"… That's one word for it…" Taiga muttered.

"All right, then… Here goes…" Emu took a deep breath. "Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

"There's no way we can figure out the answer to this question. I forfeit," Emu said very, very reluctantly. "The question, not the game, just to be clear. I'm still in that."

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrugged. "Well, if you're sure…" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"Do you really need to do that every time?" Emu complained, clutching his chest in pain.

"Yes," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said bluntly.

"So, are you going to tell us what the right answer was?" Nico asked, scowling.

"Mmm… No, I don't think so," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered.

"Is that because you're just that much of a prick, or because you honestly don't have an answer selected since you were going to say whatever we guessed was wrong anyway?" Kiriya questioned.

"… Shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled. "Anyway, since you weren't able to come up with an answer for my question, you all know what that means!"

He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them. The screen then changed to show two young boys in a park, screaming at each other and playing tug-of-war with a handheld game console while a very tired-looking woman sitting on a bench nearby feebly pleaded for them to cut it out.

"Allow me to introduce twin brothers Sou and Shu Yamaruma," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD announced. "Both of them love video games. Unfortunately, they are incapable of playing nice or sharing, and are constantly fighting over their toys, much to the detriment of their parents, who keep having to pay to replace all the rather expensive electronics they keep breaking in their tantrums."

Parad shook his head in disgust. "Kids can be so petty. Why can't they get along as well as Emu and me?"

"Parad, I had to physically restrain you the other day just so I could get a chance to play the new Final Fantasy game," Emu pointed out. Parad pretended not to hear him.

"So which of the kids is going to be a victim this time?" Taiga asked in resignation.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grinned. "Why not both?"

…

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

 _"_ _Mine!"_

 _"_ _Mine!"_

 _"_ _MINE!"_

 _"_ _MINE!"_

"Boys, please, can't you please just share the game?" Mrs. Yamaruma moaned. "Mommy is getting a headache, and she really doesn't want to have to pay to replace _another_ one of your games…"

The twins stopped fighting… Because they were doubled over in pain, the forgotten handheld clattering to the ground between them. Their mother stood up in alarm. "Boys?!"

The brothers cried out as an orange mass formed on their backs, bursting out and splattering on the ground behind them, growing, rising, and taking form. Mrs. Yamaruma screamed and backpedaled as the new Bugsters took their form…

A pair of Bugster Viruses in blue jumpsuits under black chest armor, one with red sleeves and the other green, both of them with thick black mustaches?

"It's-a me, Futago!" The red Bugster declared with a terrible Italian accent.

"Okie-dokie!" The green one spoke up.

Mrs. Yamaruma stopped screaming and stared at the Bugsters, dumbfounded. Her sons did the same.

…

The family weren't the only ones who couldn't believe their eyes.

"Did… Did you just create _Mario Brothers Bugsters_?!" Asked an incredulous Nico.

"What? No! Don't be preposterous!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said quickly. "These are the _Futago_ brothers, a legally distinct intellectual property owned by Genm Corp. with no relation whatsoever to a pair of brothers owned by a certain other videogame company. Any perceived similarity between the two is totally wrong and you should feel bad for thinking so."

"Wait a minute, I remember these guys," Emu realized. "They're from a terrible Mario Brothers rip off your company made before launching the Mighty franchise as your flagship years ago. Nintendo came down on you guys so hard your company nearly went bankrupt!"

"A grossly disproportionate reaction! Futago Brothers wasn't a rip off, it was a homage!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted.

"Literally the only thing that was different was that you altered the sprites and changed the names," Parad said bluntly. "And didn't even do a very good job of that, considering just how much of the base code was _exactly_ the same as the game it was quite clearly copied and pasted from."

"Look, it was my father's idea, okay?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted. "I had nothing to do with it!"

"I seem to remember your name being mentioned a lot in the credits-" Nico recalled.

"Anyway! This dynamic duo, which is totally not a rip off of another, more famous dynamic duo, shall be faced by… Oh damn, I suppose it's going to have to be Satsuki," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled in irritation. "She's already gone out once, but this will be her first time officially doing it."

Satsuki took a deep breath. "I am ready. I shall not fail."

"Out of curiosity, what are you going to do if there's another boss fight after this?" Kiriya asked Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"I'll… Deal with that when the time comes," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said evasively. _Damn, I thought I'd have enough data by now! I'm still not quite there yet… I may need one or two more boss fights, after all…_

Hiiro produced another Gamer Driver and Gashat. "Satsuki, we must perform the compatibility surgery on you immediately. Everyone, you should reprise your roles from last time. This should be exactly the same, except that Mizuki will be serving as nurse this time-"

The surgeon was interrupted by a scream, and they glanced up at the monitor to see that the Futago brothers had produced hammers and were starting to beat up Mrs. Yamaruma, while her helpless sons watched on, pleading with the Bugsters not to hurt their mother. The villains ignored them.

"Oh, shit, the mom!" Nico cried.

"If they keep beating her up like that, she might be dead by the time Satsuki gets there!" An alarmed Taiga realized.

"Hiiro, is there any way to speed up the surgery?" Emu desperately asked the surgeon.

Hiiro shook his head regretfully. "There isn't. I almost pushed it too far operating on Mizuki as quickly as I did the last time. If I were to work any faster, I would run the risk of killing Satsuki."

The martial artist took a deep breath. "… Very well. If that's what it takes-"

"Satsuki, no!" Mizuki protested.

"Mizuki, I must do this. Do not fear. I have absolute faith in Hiiro-sama's skills," Satsuki assured the ninja.

"While it gratifies me to hear that, even if I ignored all safety procedures and rushed the surgery as quickly as I could, I am uncertain you would be ready to fight before that woman is killed," Hiiro said uncomfortably.

"Then it's a good thing I'm going instead," Parad spoke up.

Everyone looked at him in surprise. "Parad, what are you talking about?" Emu demanded.

"Yes, explain yourself! You already had your turn!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD pointed out.

Parad smirked. "Ever since I fought Salty, I've been subtly probing Kuroto's-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD interjected.

"Firewalls to see if I could find any loopholes or weak points I could use to teleport out in case of emergencies," Parad explained. He grinned. "And it just so happens that I found one right now."

"WHAT?! IMPOSSIBLE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked.

"You can? That's great!" Emu said in relief.

"Wait a minute… Is this an excuse for you to get another turn and a chance at a new power up?" Nico asked suspiciously. "Because you've been bitching about that for a while now."

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the motivation," Parad admitted. "But right now, that doesn't matter. That woman, and those kids, need help, and right now I'm the only person who can give it to them. Once upon a time, I wouldn't have given a crap about that and focused on my own desires. That's not the sort of person I am anymore. Emu's taught me otherwise, just like the rest of you. And yeah, it would be nice if I got a new game out of this… But that's not why I'm doing it. I'm doing it because it's the right thing to do."

Kiriya chuckled. "We've taught you well."

"Parad… Good luck," Emu said, putting a hand on his partner's shoulder.

"We will proceed with the surgery while you're gone," Hiiro told the Bugster. "That way, Satsuki will be ready for the next boss fight."

"Assuming there is one," Taiga added.

"There's definitely going to be one," Nico said pessimistically.

"Wait, no! You can't do this! I forbid it!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said desperately, realizing that, once more, he had no control over the situation. "I-if you go out there, I'll release the new virus strain! Thousands of people could die, and it will be all your fault!"

The threat gave Parad pause… Until he heard another scream from Mrs. Yammura. His eyes hardened. "No, Kuroto, it'll be _your_ fault for forcing us into this situation the first place. If you really want to unleash this new virus you've been holding over our heads all this time, go for it. It's not going to stop me from going. Yeah, maybe hundreds or thousands of people will get sick… But right now, all I can do is help the person in front of me. That's what it means to be a Kamen Rider."

And with that, he vanished in a flurry of pixels, leaving Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD behind to scream in impotent fury as his friends applauded.

…

Elsewhen…

As a hideous monster somewhat resembling a locust rampaged through the streets, a pretty young woman in a silver jacket and skirt with a feather in her hair and a tall, older, grim-looking man in a purple and black jacket watched from a nearby rooftop, unbothered by the screams of terror and agony rising up from the city below.

"So… That's Another Agito?" The girl, Ora, asked the older man.

"Another Another Agito," the man, Sworz, corrected her.

She raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that one too many 'Another's?'"

Sworz sighed. "There's already a Rider called Another Agito. So, this Another Rider has to be named _Another_ Another Agito."

Ora considered this for a moment. "… So, does that make it an Another Rider for Agito, or Another Agito?"

"Yes," Sworz said bluntly. She rolled her eyes.

Below, two young men arrived, strapped on Drivers, and pulled out watches.

 **TIME DRIVER!**

 **RIDER TIME!**

 **ZI-O/GEIZ!**

"HENSHIN!"

 **KAMEN RIDER! ZI-O/GEIZ!**

 **AGITO/ANOTHER AGITO!**

 **ARMOR TIME! AGITO/ANOTHER AGITO!**

"Huh, guess they weren't sure either, so grabbed both Ridewatches just to be safe," Ora observed as Sougo and Geiz transformed. Sworz grunted.

"Rejoice! The one to inherit all Rider powers, the king of time who will rule over the past and the future! And his name is Kamen Rider Zi-O! Agito Armor!" Woz proclaimed from below. "Oh, and Geiz is here too." Geiz grunted.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sworz asked as Ora started walking away.

She rolled her eyes. "Come on, you know how this goes by now. We create an Another Rider that's supposed to be super strong and impossible to beat, then somehow they find some new form or trick that defeats the Another Rider and leaves us no closer to putting a new king on the throne than we were before."

"It might be different this time," Sworz said, though he didn't sound like he truly believed it.

"Honestly, I'm starting to wonder what the point of it all is," she griped. "And what with that new Woz around, there's so many people trying to change the future now I have absolutely no idea what the timeline is going to be like when this is all over, or if we are even going to get the future we want. And then there's whatever that Tsukasa guy is up to."

"I don't trust him," Sworz growled.

"You don't trust anyone."

"I _especially_ don't trust him. We should have just made an Another Rider from his power when we had the chance," Sworz grumbled.

 **FINISH TIME! GROUND TIME BREAK/ANOTHER GROUND TIME BREAK!**

There was a roar of agony and a tremendous explosion as Another Another Agito was defeated, reverting back to his human form, his Ridewatch popping out of his body and breaking.

"That was fast," Ora commented. "Think it's a new record." Sworz pounded a fist on the railing in frustration.

Neither of them were aware that they were being watched from a distance.

"Targets are in sight. Should we take them out?" TimeBlue asked, staring at the Time Jackers, Riders, and their entourage through a pair of futuristic binoculars from atop a building.

 _"_ _Are all the Time Jackers and the second Woz present?"_ Asked the voice in his ear.

"Negative, I only have eyes on two Jackers and the black Woz," TimeBlue reported. "Though I don't know why he's called that since he's dressed more in dark brown."

 _"_ _Then do not engage,"_ said the voice, his superior, Yuri. _"We want to be able to get them all at once, without any of them escaping into the timestream and causing more trouble. Continue observation for now."_

"Roger that."

The blue TimeRanger wasn't the only one on the rooftop spying on the Time Jackers. Unfortunately, his companions were a bit less… Professional.

"Momotaros, let me look through the binoculars! I want a turn!"

"NO! Get your own, brat, these are mine!"

"Come now, senpai, surely there's no harm in sharing?"

"There is when I just know one of you idiots will break them by accident! These aren't cheap, you know!"

"As your prince, I command you to give me those binoculars!"

"Shut up, Sieg, you're not my prince! I never voted for you!"

"That's not how a monarchy works, you cretin!"

"Zzzzzzzz."

"Would anyone like some shiitake?"

"I hate every last one of you."

"Captain, why exactly did you send these… Colorful individuals with me?" TimeBlue asked, grimacing at the bickering Imagin.

 _"_ _Because if I had to be around them for a minute longer, I'd have killed someone. They're your problem now."_

"Dammit."

The blue Ranger started when he heard screams, and turned to see that Ryutaros had fallen off the side of the building and was desperately clutching to Momotaros' binoculars, choking the red oni due to the strap being wrapped around his neck. The other Imagin were trying to help, but kept getting in each other's way, and a minute later _all_ of them went over the edge, desperately grabbing onto each other to keep from falling to their deaths, and choking Momotaros even more as he struggled not to get pulled over as well. (Also, Kintaros was still sleeping. Somehow.)

TimeBlue groaned as he got up to help them. "This is going to be a fun assignment…"

…

The Futago Bugsters continued pummeling Mrs. Yamamura with their hammers, the shocking violence they were inflicting on her made even more disturbing by the constant random phrases they spouted in terrible Italian accents. Their mother's screams and sobs caused Sou and Shu great distress, causing their flickering and fading to increase in frequency as their symptoms worsened, drawing closer and closer to death.

As the red brother raised his hammer, preparing to cave the woman's skull in, someone shouted, "HEY! Wario and Waluigi! The hell do you think you're doing?!"

The two brothers spun around to see an irate Parad striding towards them. "It's-a me, Futago!" The red Bugster declared in irritation.

"Okie-dokie!" The green one agreed.

Parad snorted. "That's right, I forgot, you're _not_ Wario or Waluigi. Mistaking you two rip-offs for them is an insult to those guys… Yes, even Waluigi! Even the most despised and underappreciated guy in the Mushroom Kingdom has more dignity than you, even though he'll probably still never get into a Smash Brothers game!"

"Mamma Mia!" The brothers shouted angrily.

"Who… Who are…" Mrs. Yamaruma whimpered, barely able to see through her swollen eyes.

"Don't worry ma'am, I'm a professional. I'll take care of things," Parad promised her. "Someone should be here any minute to take care of you."

As if on cue, Jiro suddenly appeared on his motorcycle. "I made it as fast as I could!" The heavily-armed doctor declared as he hopped off his bike and rushed over. "There's been a lot of people in need of medical assistance today, what with all those Bugster battles you and your friends are having all over the city!"

"Sorry," Parad said apologetically. "We're doing the best we can."

"Oh, I don't blame you, it's all that bastard Kuroto's fault," Jiro assured Parad, waving him off as he knelt down besides Mrs. Yamamura and opened his medical kit.

…

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

...

"You can relax now ma'am, you're in good hands," Jiro said soothingly as he got to work.

"But… My sons…" The wounded woman pleaded.

"You can leave that to me, ma'am," Parad told her, giving her a thumbs up. "I'll take it from here." He glanced at the two brothers. "Hey, you kids like video games, right?" The twins nodded hesitantly. Parad grinned. "Good, because I think you're going to _love_ this!"

He strapped on his Gamer Driver and pulled out his Gashat Gear Dual, slamming it into the belt.

 **| DUAL! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

"Max Henshin Plus!" Parad cried as red and blue pixels formed around him, the holographic title screens for Knockout Fighter and Perfect Puzzle appearing behind him.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! MIX UP! PERFECT KNOCK-OUT! |**

A holographic screen passed over him, garbing him in the red and blue raiment of his ultimate form, Kamen Rider Para-DX Perfect Knockout level 99. He pounded a fist into his hand. "I'm getting excited. Let's do this!"

A wave of pixels surged out from him, causing Energy Items and several large blocks to materialize all over the park. The Bugster brothers raised their hammers and charged at Parad, yelling vaguely Italian-sounding battle cries at the top of their lungs.

Parad summoned his Gashacon Parabragun and charged forwards to meet the two brothers. As the red brother swung his hammer at Parad's head, the good Bugster dodged it and lashed out with his ax, ripping through the modified Virus's side as he rushed past. The red brother cried out in agony and disintegrated, causing the green brother to cry, "Futago! Mamma Mia!"

"Don't worry, you'll be seeing both your brother and mother again shortly!" Parad promised. Switching his weapon to its gun mode, he fired several rapid-fire shots at the Bugster, blasting the hammer out of his hand and sending him staggering back, stunned. Before he could recover, Parad switched back to his ax and rushed the Bugster, swinging his weapon in a massive chop which lopped the green brother's head off, the severed cranium arcing through the air before landing at the feet of the Yamaruma twins. The brothers stared at the head, eyes bulging.

"… Dude, there were kids watching," said a horrified Jiro.

"Oh, shit," Parad swore, realizing his misstep.

Mrs. Yamaruma sighed. "I'm pretty sure they've seen worse in the games they play…"

"There's a difference between simulated violence and the real deal," Jiro pointed out.

"Crap. Looks like I'm going to have to be a responsible authority figure," Parad groaned. "Okay, kids, don't decapitate anyone in real life, unless they're monsters. And even then, make sure they aren't friendly ones first."

"Is that the lesson we should be teaching here?" Jiro asked skeptically.

"You got any better ones?" Parad retorted. "Oh, right. Kids, from now on, share your video games. There's nothing wrong with playing co-op." The two boys nodded wordlessly, awestruck by just how cool their savior was.

…

"Well, that was… Kind of anti-climactic," Nico complained.

"Well, they were modified mooks, what do you expect?" Kiriya pointed out.

"Still, I was expecting more from a boss fight," Taiga commented.

Hiiro, having just finished performing the surgery on Satsuki, frowned. "… If the Bugsters have been defeated, why are the boys still showing symptoms of Game Illness?"

And that's when Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD started laughing.

…

"Now that my work here is done, I should probably head back-" Parad began, only to be startled when a pair of large purple pipes rose up from the ground nearby. "What the-"

"Yahoo!"

Both Futago brothers jumped out of the pipes, the number 99 appearing over their heads before changing to 98.

"The heck?" Cried the startled Jiro.

Parad swore, realizing what this meant. "They've got extra lives!"

…

"You gave them extra lives?!" Emu cried in disbelief.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cackled. "Of course I did! I had to give them SOME sort of advantage! And those aren't the only surprises they have up their sleeves…"

…

Parad groaned. "So that means I have to kill them nearly 200 more times before they're beaten? That bites."

"At least they're just mooks," Jiro pointed out. "I'd help, but I'm tending to the lady. You should be able to handle it, though, you're a pretty strong Rider."

"I suppose so." Parad cracked his neck. "All right, let's do this." Brandishing his ax, he charged at the revived brothers.

He swiped his weapon at the red one, who blocked it with his hammer. In the split second when Parad's axe rebounded off, the green brother sprung onto his sibling's shoulders, then hopped off again, locking his legs around the surprised Parad's shoulders and smashing his hammer onto his head repeatedly. As the startled Parad drove his ax into the personal space invader's back to get him off, the red brother press his palm to the Rider's chest and generated a fireball at point-blank range, the fiery projectile exploding and knocking Parad back even as the green brother disintegrated.

Parad shook his head, trying to regain his bearings, only for the green brother to abruptly respawn from a pipe behind him, hammer raised to deliver another blow to Parad's head. Parad dove to the side, spinning to bring his ax up to bear and slice the brother in half, only to get struck by a fireball from the red brother, who'd been waiting for him. As the flames washed across Parad's form, the green brother respawned again from a new pipe directly in front of him and thrust his palm into his chest, releasing a blast of green electricity that sent him flying back, shaking and sparking.

The red brother ran towards him, trying to clothesline him from behind with his hammer, but Parad managed to duck in time and rip his ax through the Bugster's side, deleting him. As the red brother popped out of a new pipe moments later, Parad quickly switched his weapon to its gun form and started wildly firing at both brothers, rocking them backwards with repeated energy bullets until they vaporized.

This only gave him a moment's reprieve, however, because the brothers popped back up moments later right beside him and swung their hammers at him. Parad had anticipated this, however, catching the hammerheads in both hands. He yanked them out of the startled brothers hands, threw them into the air, then swung his ax in a spinning strike, cleaving through both of them before grabbing the hammers on their way down and smashing through both of their skulls.

Not that it mattered, because they both popped up again moments later, none the worse for wear aside from their life counter ticking down. Parad groaned. "Man, this is going to take forever! There's gotta be a way to speed this up…"

He gestured, causing Energy Items to fly from all over the place and form a grid over his head…

And was horrified when the brothers leaped into the air, each of them grabbing one of the tokens! "Wait, what?!"

"Here we go!" The two brothers shouted as they absorbed the power-ups, the red brother using Iron-Body, while the green one used Speeding-Up.

…

"They can use Energy Items?!" Cried a horrified Emu.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrugged. "And why not? The characters they're based off can! And besides, it's not like you lot use the things that often anyway!"

"… Guy's got a point," Kiriya admitted grudgingly.

…

The green brother rushed towards Parad at incredible speeds. Parad attempted to anticipate his movements and catch him with a swing of his ax, but the Bugster dodged at the last minute and slammed his hammer into Parad's side, knocking him back. The red brother caught him, wrapping his arms around his chest and pinning him in place so that his brother could slam his palm into his chest and electrify him.

Parad cried out in pain and struggled against his captor, but the metallized Bugster's hold was too strong. He tried to slam his head into the Bugster's face to weaken his grip, only to give himself a headache due to the virus's metal skin. Getting an idea, he drove his knee into the green brother's crotch, startling him and causing him to shift his hand and touch his brother's arm instead. Both Parad and the red brother cried out in pain as electricity coursed through their bodies, the red brother vaporizing, freeing Parad and allowing him to grab the horrified green brother and rip his head off, killing him.

Unfortunately, both brothers respawned moments later, each of them snatching up an Energy Item. The red brother immediately used his power-up, Instigate, drawing Parad's attention and causing him to completely miss the fact that the green brother had grabbed and thrown a Shrink token at him until it was too late, and he suddenly found himself less than an inch tall. "Uh-oh."

Screaming, he ran for his life as the brothers chased after him, jumping all over the place to try to stomp him beneath their feet or crushing them beneath their hammers. Thinking quickly, Parad used his power to summon several Items towards him. The Bugsters immediately grabbed two of them, but Parad had been counting on that, and the one he really needed, Recover, was absorbed into his body, healing him partially and causing him to shoot back to his regular size, catching the surprised brothers with a double uppercut that sent them flying. He whipped out his weapon in blaster form and shot them out of the sky, causing them to explode.

Parad groaned as the brothers immediately popped back up seconds later. "Oh, come on! This is getting ridiculous!" Spotting a nearby Item, he got an idea. "Well, I may not have extra lives, but I can certainly do this!"

He grabbed Separation, using it to split into eight identical copies. "Okay, let's try it this way!" All eight Parads said at once, making the same motions. As one, they charged towards the brothers.

Alarmed, the red brother volleyed fireballs at the eight Parads, but the heroic Bugsters batted them away with their axes, the projectiles flying back through the air and striking the brothers, engulfing them in flames and destroying them. They respawned moments later, but the eight were already upon them and started hacking at them with their axes, killing them again immediately. The brothers popped up again separately and further away, and the eight Parads exchanged looks before splitting into groups of four, each going after one of the Bugsters.

The red brother grabbed an Emission item and immediately used it to release a blinding flash of light. The four Riders immediately recognized the item and shielded their eyes with their weapons to keep from being blinded, but in that second when all eyes were often, the red brother grabbed an Invisible Item and used it to disappear. Realizing what must have happened, the four clones quickly stood back to back, switched their weapons to gun mode, and rotated in circles, shooting energy blasts in every direction. A small explosion indicated they'd hit and terminated their target, and they cheered...

Until the red brother respawned right in the middle of them and unleashed a spinning hammer smash, destroying all four of them. "Thank you so much for playing my game!" He bragged, pointing a thumb at himself and posing with his hammer slung over his shoulder.

The green brother, true to his inspiration, wasn't doing quite as well. The four clones were constantly on his back, cutting him to pieces every time he tried to grab an Energy Item and blasting him every time he respawned, the combined fire of the four Parads easily destroying him whenever he popped up. Finally fed up, the next time he respawned, he yelled, "Here we go!" Just before being blasted to pieces.

The Parads waited for a moment, but he didn't appear again. "Did we get him finally?" One of them asked at last.

"No, that doesn't make sense, he still had plenty of lives left…" Another murmured.

"Guys, why hasn't his warp pipe gone away?" A third observed.

The ground started shaking. The green brother popped out of the pipe with a cry of "It's-a-me!"

And then another green brother popped up. "It's-a-me!"

And another. "It's-a-me!"

And another. "It's-a-me!"

And another. "It's-a-me!"

And another. "It's-a-me!"

And another, and another, and another, the life counter steadily ticking down with each new green brother that emerged from the pipe, until the four clones found themselves faced down with several dozen duplicates of the green brother.

""Let's-a-go!" all of them shouted in unison.

"… Okay, I call hax. You're not supposed use extra lives that way," one of the Parads complained.

"Look, this could work in our favor. Conservation of ninjutsu," another suggested. "As one guy, he was irritating, but as many, we should be able to wipe the floor with him in droves."

"Also, we'll be able to tear through his life counter that much faster this way," a third agreed.

"Yeah, with all of us working together, we should be able to… Wait, what's he doing?" Asked the alarmed fourth Parad, spotting the red brother, who had hopped onto a floating block, carrying an alarming number of Energy Items under one arm.

"Let's-a-go!" The red brother cried, hurling the Energy Items into the crowd of siblings below.

"Okie-dokie!" Several of the brothers cried, grabbing the Items and using them to power up significantly.

"… Oh, fuck," all four Parads said at the same time as the drastically enhanced Bugsters charged them.

The next few minutes were a frenzied nightmare. The four clones were quickly swamped and carried away from each other by the tide of green brothers. They fought valiantly, cutting down Bugster after Bugster, but they just kept coming, while the red brother continued to hop around from block to block, throwing Energy Items at his siblings from on high to keep powering them up and occasionally breaking blocks or making brief sojourns to find more to keep his supply replenished.

It was only a matter of time before the four heroes were overwhelmed. One clone got hit by a stray Shrink token from behind, and was gleefully stomped and smashed flat by the surrounding Bugsters before he could recover. A second one broke his fist trying to punch out a brother just after he had gotten an Iron-Body power up, and a pair of brothers using Muscular grabbed him by the arms and ripped him in half. The third clone found himself pulled spread eagle when two brothers using Stretch grappled his arms, and their siblings pounded at him until he finally disintegrated. And the fourth clone (the original, by default), now finding himself the sole focus of all the Bugsters, was swiftly overrun, brother after brother using the powers of Muscular or Iron-Body jumping onto him, trapping him beneath a huge dogpile of green Bugsters which only kept on growing as more and more brothers hopped on, their combined weight pressing him into the ground, causing him to cry in pain as bit by bit the life was squeezed out of him and his Rider Gauge steadily depleted.

Parad cried for help, begging someone, anyone, to save him…

But buried beneath the mountain of Bugsters jabbering in faux Italian, his voice was drowned out.

Jiro, who had been too busy tending to Mrs. Yamaruma's wounds to help (beyond shooting at any Bugster that wandered too close to his patient) swore and stood up. "Shit! Hang on, Parad, I'm coming to-"

"Wait."

Jiro started, having failed to notice the mysterious man right next to him approach. Shou and Shu gasped, eyes wide with recognition and wonder. "What? Who the heck are you?"

The man smiled. "A friend. Continue treating that woman. I'll help Parad."

And without another word, he strode past the confused Jiro and the awestruck siblings, heading towards the growing heap of green Bugsters. As he approached, the viruses stiffened, sensing his presence, and turned to stare at him. Instantly, all of them fell silent. Even the red brother, who had been about to throw some more Energy Items to his brothers, seem to be frozen in place.

The man stopped. "Move, please, or be moved."

The Bugster stared him wordlessly. And then, quietly, all of them shuffled out of his way, the brothers making up the dogpile practically tripping over themselves to disentangle themselves and get out of the man's path as he approached, exposing the broken and beaten body of Parad. By the time the man reached the prone form of the Rider, he was surrounded by a huge mass of Bugsters, staring at him in absolute terror mixed with awe.

The man bent down and extended a hand. "Here, brave Rider. Let me help you up."

Parad groaned and squinted up at the figure bent over him. For a moment, backlit by the sun, he thought he was looking at God. And then his eyes adjusted to fully take in the man who was offering him some assistance, and he absolutely _knew_ he was looking at God.

…

"No," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD whispered, dumbstruck.

"No way," Nico whispered in awe.

Emu was trembling in excitement. "Is that… _Is that_ …"

…

"Am I… Dead?" Parad wheezed. "Because that's the only reason I can think of… For why none other than _Shigeru Miyamoto_ would be standing over me, offering me his hand."

The man chuckled. "You aren't dead, Parad, but you are pretty close. Don't worry, though. I really am Shigeru Miyamoto, and I'm here to help."

…

Nico and Emu squealed in joy. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD made a noise which was… Difficult to interpret, a complicated mix of incredulity, astonishment, reverence, and despair.

"Who's that?" Taiga asked. Everyone stared at him in disbelief.

…

"Shigeru Miyamoto… Is here to help… Me?" Parad questioned, stunned. "That… No. That can't be right. This is a hallucination, something my mind has whipped up to keep me calm as I die a horrible death via dogpile. There's no way you could be here to help me. I… I'm not worthy."

Miyamoto smiled and helped Parad up, his very touch filling the Bugster with warmth and happiness, his Rider Gauge refilling to maximum as a sensation of transcendental bliss washed over him. "Oh, but you are worthy, Parad. More so than you know. I've been following the adventures of you and your friends for a long, long time now. You might even say I'm a bit of a fan of your work. I had actually intended to approach you and your comrades about a certain business venture in the near future, but when I sensed you were about to be defeated at the hands of a shallow rip-off of one of my most cherished creations, made by a man unworthy to call himself a game designer, I knew I could no longer stand aside and watch."

"But… But Miyamoto-sama… How can you possibly help?" Asked an awestruck Parad, still unable to fully bring himself to believe that this was actually happening. "You're not a Rider."

Miyamoto smiled, a twinkle in his eye. "Oh, no?"

With a flick of his hand, he produced what looked like a modified Switch console as a belt materialized on his waist.

Parad's eyes widened. " _No_."

"Yes," Miyamoto said with a grin.

…

"NO!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked.

"YES!" Emu and Nico shouted giddily.

…

"You might want to stand back for this next bit," Miyamoto told Parad, the Bugster quickly scrambling back to comply. The dozens of brothers surrounding them instantly did the same thing.

Miyamoto slid the device in his hands into the dock on his belt and powered it on, causing a startup screen with the Nintendo logo to appear.

 **| NINTENDRIVER! SWITCH ON! PRESS START TO PLAY! IS YOUR BODY READY? |**

"It is." Miyamoto calmly pushed the Start button. "Henshin."

The screen on the Switch flashed, and suddenly a huge grid appeared on it, tiny icons filling each square.

 **| GAME START! |**

The squares on the grid suddenly projected themselves out into the real world, enlarging to form dozens of overlapping rings circling Miyamoto. Parad realized, to his wonder, that each square contained the title screen of one of the hundreds of games Nintendo had created over the years. As the rings revolved around and around Miyamoto, particles shaped like the letter N swarmed his body, solidifying into a red outfit with white highlights. Armor resembling the SNES with a Wii U pad embedded in the front formed over his chest, the screen on the controller switching on to reveal the Nintendo logo. Greaves looking like they were made from modified N64s formed on his legs, with the controllers forming his boots. Armor resembling Gamecubes materialized on his shoulders, with 3DSes forming on top of them, their screens flipping up to reveal the Nintendo logo. A large Wii remote fastened itself to his left arm, the nunchuck joystick appearing in his grip, while a Power Glove looking cooler and more useful than the real one had ever been appearing over his right arm. A helmet with a large red N on the forehead covered his face, the katakana for Nintendo forming over his eyes, which resembled the headset of a Virtual Boy, though far cooler and more practical than the real one had ever been.

 **| PLAY IT LOUD! GET N OR GET OUT! WHO ARE YOU? WII WOULD LIKE TO PLAY! TAKE A LOOK INSIDE! HOW U WILL PLAY NEXT! SWITCH IT UP! |**

The rings condensed and converged on Miyamoto, and little golden statues of Nintendo's most famous characters materialized all over his armor, with the one for Mario forming a sort of crown atop his head.

 **| NOW YOU'RE PLAYING WITH POWER! |**

…

"OH. MY. GOD," Nico shouted.

"This is the most amazing thing I have ever seen," Emu whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Truly this is the best of all possible worlds," Nico moaned.

"A world of infinite wonder and possibilities, where miracles can come true before your very eyes," Emu agreed ecstatically.

"So… He's another game designer that's also a Rider? Does that mean he's going to be evil?" Taiga asked uncertainly.

Immediately Emu and Nico whirled on him, death in their eyes. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK," Nico bellowed.

"SHIGERU MIYAMOTO IS A WONDERFUL MAN WHO MAKES GAMES THAT FILL PEOPLE WITH JOY AND INSPIRATION. KUROTO IS NOTHING LIKE HIM," Emu roared.

"They're right, I'm not," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD wailed despondently.

…

"… This is the best day of my life," Parad whispered, tears of joy streaming down his cheeks.

Without warning, Satoru Iwata appeared, wearing spiritual robes and holding what appeared to be an instruction manual for the NintenDriver, which he dramatically read from. "Rejoice! The one to inherit all Nintendo powers, the king of games who will rule over the past and the future! And his name is Kamen Rider Nintend-O!"

 _"_ _And it just got better,"_ Parad moaned.

…

"Wait, isn't that guy dead?" Kiriya asked.

"I think he's a ghost," Hiiro said, squinting at the beloved former president of Nintendo. "He's got one of those headbands with triangles on."

…

"Mr. Miyamoto, you're a Kamen Rider?!" Parad asked giddily as Iwata vanished.

Miyamoto nodded. "I am indeed. I have you and your friends to thank for it, actually. After the creation of the Gamer Driver by Genm Corp. and all the publicity it got from the Riders who used it to fight video game monsters in real life, quite a few other video game companies recognized the promise of such technology for future consoles and games. After promising to collaborate with Genm on a number of future games and port several games onto each other's systems, Nintendo was able to acquire a Gamer Driver of its own, which we were able to reverse engineer and use to create my NintenDriver. I am not the only such Rider who was born from such a deal, but I daresay, without bragging, that I am the most powerful."

"Why didn't we hear about this?" Parad demanded, amazed.

"We're still doing our best to keep it quiet since there's a lot of remaining stigma from Kamen Rider Chronicle," Miyamoto explained. "Until we can guarantee that games using this technology can't actually be used to hurt people, it would be ill-advised for us to try to capitalize on it. Additionally, we feel it might be best to wait until the last of the victims from Kamen Rider Chronicle and the Bugster outbreak have been recovered so nobody can accuse us of ignoring or making profit from such a tragedy."

Parad nodded in understanding. "Right, right, that makes sense. Does this…" He started trembling with excitement. "Does this… Does this mean… You and I are going to fight together?!"

Miyamoto chuckled amiably. "While I would be honored to do so… If I were to do that, then I don't think you would get the chance use your new game to its fullest potential."

He opened his hand, and N-shaped particles clustered together to form a double-sided Gashat, which he handed to Parad. The Bugster's eyes widened in disbelief, and he was so overwhelmed with emotion that he found himself unable to speak in coherent sentences and jabbered nonsense syllables while squealing at the top of his lungs. "This! Legend Gashat! This! This! _This_!"

Miyamoto laughed. "Yes. 'This.'"

"Hug! Can I! You!" Parad shouted.

"Certainly," Miyamoto said, extending his arms. Parad immediately embraced him, sobbing and uttering indecipherable noises of gratitude and joy.

…

"So… Jealous …" Emu and Nico snarled.

"Well, now you know how Parad felt about everyone else getting power ups but him," Kiriya pointed out.

"Not that he can claim that, anymore," Taiga added.

"He gave him a Gashat. Of _course_ he gave him a Gashat. _Everyone's_ giving out Gashats!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled, throwing up his hands in exasperation.

"To be fair, at least Miyamoto is actually a videogame developer," Hiiro pointed out.

"And one better than you in every way imaginable," Nico added.

"IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!"

"No," everyone said. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in wordless incandescent fury.

…

"I've had dreams just like this," Parad whispered, finally able to regain control over his tongue. "Would it… Would it be weird if I called you dad? My real dad is a total pain, and you've done more for me in the last few minutes then he has in my entire life."

"If you like," Miyamoto said graciously. "In a way, I see many videogame characters as my children."

"Thanks, dad!" Parad exclaimed, hugging Miyamoto even harder and shedding more tears of joy.

…

"HEY! You can't just disown me like that!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

"I think he just did," Taiga observed.

"Parad, how could you?" Emu cried, betrayed. "That was my dream, too!"

"Wait, Emu, if Parad's kind of your brother, then doesn't that mean Miyamoto is, by extension, your father as well?" Kiriya pointed out.

Emu considered this for a moment. Then he started hollering with joy, while a livid Nico stamped her feet in envy.

…

"Now, Parad, why don't you take that new Gashat out for a spin?" Miyamoto suggested as Parad finally, reluctantly let him go.

"Sure thing, dad!" Parad said happily, raising his Gashat and giving the Futago Bugsters a look which sent chills down their spines. "Let's-a-go!"

 **| SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! |**

 **"** **HENSHIN!"**

 **| DOUBLE CLICK AND OPEN! CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! MARIO BROTHERS! LET'S-A-GO! MARIO BROTHERS! MAMMA MIA!** ** _SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! |_**

As the hologram for the cover of Super Mario Brothers slammed into Parad's chest, his suit transformed into armor resembling everyone's level 1 form, only wearing a set of blue overalls, a cap which was red on one half and green on the other, and a thick bushy mustache.

He looked ridiculous.

He looked _amazing_.

"I'm getting excited…" Parad said giddily as Miyamoto nodded proudly and everyone else regard him with awe and disbelief. "But I think I can go even further than this!"

 **| CLICK AND CLOSE! |**

 **"** **HENSHIN PLUS PLUS!"**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

…

Emu's eyes widened. "Wait… Is what I think is about to happen… About to happen?!"

He got his answer when he suddenly vanished in a flurry of pixels, much to everyone's astonishment.

"What? What?! **WHAT**?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked.

"So… Much… _Jealousy_ …" Nico moaned.

…

 **| DOUBLE UP! THE UNSTOPPABLE BOND OF BROTHERHOOD! WE ARE!** ** _SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! |_**

As the brilliant flash of red and green light which had consumed Parad died down, where one Rider once stood now were two, each looking like the two halves of Mighty Brothers XX, only both were wearing blue overalls, caps, and big bushy mustaches, but one was red and the other was green. The two Riders turned their heads to look at each other…

"Wait a second, why are _you_ the red one?!" Parad shrieked, suddenly realizing he was the one in green.

"Well, you usually _are_ my player two," Emu pointed out smugly.

"That's not fair! This is my Gashat! Dad! Make Emu make me Mario!" Parad whined, pointing at Emu.

"Now, Parad, there's no shame in being Luigi," Miyamoto told the Bugster soothingly.

"Well, of course you'd say that, you don't have to be him!" Parad protested indignantly.

"He's right, Parad. Remember, Luigi is a little faster and can jump higher than Mario," Emu pointed out, putting a hand on his partner's shoulder. "Plus, he fights ghosts!"

"Yeah, and you could _become_ a ghost! Ghost Gamer, specifically," Parad complained. He reached for his Driver. "Here, I'm going to change back then try again. Maybe I'll be Mario next time."

"Parad, come on," Emu protested. "Don't be that guy!"

"He's right, there are worse Brothers you could be," Miyamoto pointed out. "Like Waluigi."

Parad froze, hand on his Driver's lever. "… Wait, is that a possibility?!"

Miyamoto said nothing.

"… Oh, _fine_ ," Parad grumbled, reluctantly removing his hand from his Driver. "I guess I can be Luigi… _This_ time."

"That's the spirit!" Emu said, nudging him. "Now, why don't we show these fakes what a _real_ sibling duo can do!"

Parad couldn't help laughing. "Okay, now you're talking my language! All right, let's do this!"

 **| GASHACON BREAKER M/L! |**

Pixels flowed out of their Drivers and formed a pair of hammers resembling the Gashacon Breaker, only one was red and blue while the other was green and blue. The two Riders grabbed them and swung them a few times through the air before striking an intimidating double pose that caused the horde of green Bugsters surrounding them to scream and try to run away.

"MAMMA MIA!" The red brother shouted, catching his siblings' attention. He held up several Energy Items. "Let's-a-go!"

"I think not," Miyamoto said, raising his Power Glove-encased right hand. "That's quite enough of you lot abusing those for evil, I think." His gauntlet glowed, and the Energy Items in the red Bugster's grasp, as well as all the others around the area, flew towards Miyamoto, who caught them in his right hand. He nodded at Emu and Parad. "That should even things up a little. Gentlemen, I leave the rest to you. I look forward to seeing you both in action. And remember to have fun!"

"We will, dad!" Both Riders said eagerly.

"Wait, he's not your dad, he's mine!" Parad protested.

"You're basically my brother, so that makes him my father too," Emu argued.

Miyamoto shook his head and chuckled in amusement as he walked over to the bench where an astounded Jiro was tending to Mrs. Yamaruma, her two sons staring at him in disbelief. "Boys will be boys, eh, Mrs. Yamaruma?"

She blinked at him in confusion. "How do you know my name?!"

"I know of all who foster love for Nintendo in their hearts," Miyamoto said sagely. "… Not in a creepy way."

"Right," she said, not sure she believed him.

"Sou, Shu, how would you two boys like a new video game?" Miyamoto asked the sick boys.

"I would! I would!" they chanted eagerly.

"Boys!" Mrs. Yamaruma cried in alarm.

"Actually, that's a good idea. Keeping their spirits up will delay the virus killing them and give Emu and Parad more time to defeat the Bugsters," Jiro intuited.

"That, and I believe they require a lesson in learning how to share," Miyamoto said wisely.

"So, which of you punks want a beat down from some REAL super brothers?" Parad taunted, swinging his hammer through the air.

"We'll save the patient, with no continues!" Emu added.

"Unlike you guys, who are so weak you'd be finished by now if you didn't have so many!" Parad jeered.

The red brother fumed and hopped up and down angrily before pointing at his brothers. "Let's-a-go!"

"Okay-dokie! Here we go!" The green brothers chorused. They started jumping on top of each other, glomming together to form a large sphere of twitching, jabbering Bugsters. The red brother hopped down and kicked the giant ball, sending it rolling towards Emu and Parad.

"Ack!" The two Riders leaped to the side, and were surprised by just how far they jumped. "Whoa, did you see that?!" Parad cried, startled.

"Well, it makes sense, our powers are based off of Mario and Luigi, the original platforming heroes," Emu pointed out. He frowned as the giant ball came to a stop several meters away, and the red brother ran towards it for another go. "Hey, Parad, does something about this attack seem familiar to you?"

"Hey, yeah," Parad realized. "It's from that one Mario and Luigi game, right?"

"You know, there've always been a few moves from that series I've always want to try in real life," Emu commented.

"Same here! Now seems like as good a time as any!" Parad enthused.

"Let's start things off with a Splash Bros.," Emu suggested. "You know what to do, right?"

Parad scoffed. "You have to ask?"

As the red brother kicked the giant green ball back towards them, Emu jumped into the air, landing on Parad. The Bugster caught him, and tossed him back into the air, where Emu started twirling with his arms out, slowing his descent. Parad ran after him and jumped up before his partner could hit the ground, grabbing on as they were bounced back into the air and landing on top of the ball, rebounding off of it and knocking off several Bugsters, who vaporized.

"Now it's my turn to start things off! Bounce Bros.!" Parad declared. He jumped onto Emu, who bounced him into the air, where he started to twirl. Emu jumped up to grab his feet as Parad passed over him, and they spun through the air, landing on the ball with enough force to break it apart, sending Bugsters flying and killing several.

"Let's-a-go!" The red brother yelled angrily.

"Okie-dokie!" His replied, pulling themselves together and hopping on top of each other to form a massive stack two or three stories tall. The red brother jumped on top of them, and they started leaping into the air, coming back down with enough strength to crater the ground.

"Chopper Bros.!" Emu cried, raising his hammer.

"Yeah! Wait, not that-" Parad began, only for Emu to smash him hard enough to drive him into the ground. He leaped towards the giant stack, and an irate Parad burst of the ground right beneath him, hitting him with an uppercut which launched Emu even further skyward. Emu raised his hammer as he fell and brought it down on the stack, plowing through the front and killing several of its constituent parts.

"Knockback Bros.!" Parad shouted, surprising Emu from behind with a hammer blow to the head that compressed him into a ball. Before Emu could react, he swung his hammer at the ball in a golf swing, sending it flying into the already destabilized stack, knocking it over and killing several more Bugsters.

"Hey, a little warning next time!" Emu yelled in irritation as he painfully uncurled himself and stomped back over towards his partner.

"Oh, like the warning you gave me?" Parad replied.

"I told you what attack we would be doing!"

"Without my input, and zero time to prepare!"

"Boys!" Miyamoto yelled.

"What?" They shouted at him.

He pointed behind them. They turned just in time to see the red brother swing an absolutely gargantuan hammer comprised of his green siblings down on them, smashing them into the ground.

"… Right…" Parad grunted as the red brother lifted the hammer off of them, preparing for another swing. "In the middle of a fight. Not a good time."

"You good with a Fire Bros.?" Emu asked.

"We can do that?" Parad asked in surprise.

"Only one way to find out," Emu pointed out.

The two Riders peeled themselves out of the ground and rolled to the side just before the red brother slammed his hammer back down on them. "Parad, heads up!" Emu cried, hurling a massive fireball at Parad.

"What do you know, we can do it after all," Parad remarked, swinging his hammer at the fireball and sending it flying at the red brother just as he was raising his hammer for another swing. The brother was instantly destroyed in a fiery conflagration, and the giant hammer flew into the air, end over end, landing right on top of the red brother just as he finished respawing, killing himagain.

"You know, that handle looks like it would make a pretty good lightning rod. Thunder Bros.?" Parad offered.

"Sounds good," Emu said, cupping his hands.

Parad ran over to his partner and jumped into Emu's hands. The other Rider flung him skyward, and Parad started rubbing his hands together, green electricity crackling between them. When he was right over the hammer, he fired a massive green thunderbolt down at it, the "handle" of the weapon conducting the electricity through the entire mass, the Bugsters screaming in agony before being blown apart, both in the sense that the hammer was broken and several of the brothers were killed as well.

"I am the God of thunder!" Parad proclaimed as he landed.

"You are not," Emu countered.

"Sure I am! I have the hammer and everything!" Parad replied, pointing to his weapon. "Wait, what are they doing now?"

The Bugsters had regrouped again, but this time, instead of forming one massive construct, they were organized into several groups of varying size scattered around the area. The red brother generated a fireball and tossed it at one of the groups of green brothers, who bounced it into the air, causing the projectile to grow in size as it arced towards the next group, who bounced it towards the next, and the next, and so on, as the red brother raced all over, trying to keep up.

"I recognize this attack," Emu recalled. "Think a Swing Bros. would work?"

Parad shrugged and extended his hands. "I don't see why not."

Emu grabbed Parad by the hands and started spinning rapidly, faster and faster, until the two of them appeared to be a red and green cyclone. When Emu finally let go of Parad, his partner was flung through the air, plowing through – – and killing – – the red brother, and several of the clustered green brothers.

The remainder panicked and started scurrying about, desperately trying to catch the now-gigantic fireball before it could hit the ground. Parad shook off his dizziness and ran towards Emu, jumping in the air as he yelled, "Cyclone Bros.!"

Emu immediately understood and began spinning in place. Parad landed on top of him and the two were off, twirling like an oversized top across the ground and plowing through any Bugster in their path, the two Rider's hammers sending brothers flying. Just before the massive fireball could hit the ground, the duo slammed into it, their hammers sending it flying towards the largest group of brothers, who'd been trying to form another construct, obliterating them in a fiery blaze.

"That was awesome!" Parad gushed.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Emu moaned, queasy from all the spinning. "Wait, what are they doing now?"

The green brothers had once again regrouped, and now had them surrounded on three sides, with a single green brother standing in the empty space on the fourth side. The red brother rushed over and smacked the lone brother with his hammer, sending him spinning towards the two Riders like a whirling dervish, hammer extended to smash them. Emu and Parad evaded him with quick dodges, but the Bugster spun past and into some of his brothers, who obligingly smacked him back with their hammers. The Bugster spun back towards the Riders, this time moving faster, and while they were able to dodge him, he just rebounded off of his siblings and became even faster, bouncing back and forth around the enclosed space like a pinball and bashing Emu and Parad every time they were a little too slow to dodge.

"I don't suppose we have any other Bros. attacks?" Emu grunted, picking himself up after getting bowled over only to immediately get tackled by Parad before he could get knocked over again.

"I'm pretty sure all the other Bros. Attacks require some sort of item or gimmick to work," Parad recalled.

"Yeah, that's what I figured," Emu said with a sigh. "And if I remember this attack right, it ends with the target being crushed beneath a giant wall of Luigis, or this case, green Futagos."

"Then we have to stop that before happens. Remember how Chopper Bros. starts?" Parad asked.

"Huh? Wait, you mean…" Emu realized. "I thought you hated that."

"Yeah, but I'll know it's coming this time. Come on, hurry!" Parad urged.

"Well, okay." Emu bashed Parad over the head with his hammer, driving him into the ground. He then took a few steps back, body tense as the spinning Bugster whirled towards him…

Only for Parad to erupt from the ground the instant the Bugster passed over him, flinging him into the air with a startled. "MAMA MIA!"

"Cyclone Bros.!" Parad yelled, jumping towards Emu.

"Right!" Emu started spinning the instant Parad landed on him, and the duo twirled towards the Bugsters, who were distracted by seeing their brother flung into the air. They ricocheted back and forth between the ranks of siblings, deleting several their number before eventually breaking out of the enclosure they'd been trapped in. Furious, the red brother gave a signal, and the remaining brothers piled on top of each other to form a giant wall which started tipping down towards Emu and Parad…

Only for Emu to fling Parad skyward, the Bugster intercepting the green brother they'd sent flying a minute ago and smacking him with his hammer, knocking him into the teetering wall and causing it to topple over in the opposite direction, crushing the alarmed red brother and scattering their numbers again.

"Ha, we're certainly whittling away their numbers!" Emu remarked as Parad landed. "There can't be more than a couple dozen left!"

"Still enough for them to try one last move," Parad observed as the red brother respawned and organized his siblings into a large hollow inverted cone. He smashed the narrow bottom of the cone with his hammer, sending his brothers, twirling across the ground towards the two Riders. "Care for another Cyclone Bros.?"

"Ugh, fine. But if we have to spin for too much longer, I really am going to throw up," Emu complained. Parad jumped on top of him, hammer extended, and the duo spun towards the tornado of green Bugsters.

The two cyclones slammed into each other and rebounded, both of them wobbling, green brothers getting knocked off of the big mass and disintegrating. They quickly rallied and spun at each other again, clashing and rebounding again and again.

Alarmed to notice that the number of his siblings was diminishing with each unsuccessful clash, the red brother decided to help his brothers out, jumping onto a block, generating a large fireball, and smashing it towards Emu and Parad with his hammer. This didn't have quite the effect he intended, however, as Parad's hammer batted the fireball away, striking a block and obliterating it. Irritated, the red brother started lobbing volley after volley of fireballs at the Riders, only for each one to get deflected by the spinning hammer, causing explosions to blossom across the battlefield.

It was inevitable, really, that one of the deflected fireballs would eventually strike the green cyclone, destroying several of its constituents and causing it to begin wobbling and veering erratically all over the place. "Mamma Mia!" The red brother cried in alarm.

"I think they're ripe for the finish!" Parad decided, hopping off of Emu.

"Let's… urp… Use regular attacks… I don't think I've got it in me for a Critical Finish right now…" Emu moaned as he stumbled about, looking queasy.

"Oh, fine. I thought you had a tougher stomach than that," Parad complained.

He jumped into the air, bouncing off a block and rising higher, charging green electricity in his hands. On the ground, Emu poured his energy into forming a massive fireball in his hands. At the same time, they released their elemental fury, Parad blasting the green Bugsters from above with an emerald thunderbolt, while Emu struck them from the ground with a crimson fire blast. The fire and lightning combined to form a tremendous explosion of red and green which sent the siblings flying, wailing in agony as they were engulfed in red flames and green electricity, vaporizing before they could even hit the ground.

"MAMMA MIA!" The red brother cried.

"Sorry bro, but your mother isn't going to be able to help you," Parad remarked as he landed, exchanging an elementally charged fist bump with Emu, green sparks and red embers flashing from the point of contact. "And neither can your daddy! Not like he ever helped anyone but himself, anyway."

…

"I'm feeling rather personally attacked right now," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD complained.

"Good," everyone else said.

…

A large purple pipe appeared, and a green Futago Bugster popped out of it. He looked up in dismay as his life counter appeared and ticked down to zero, indicating he was on his last life. "Mamma Mia!"

"Looks like we missed one," Emu commented.

"Shall we finish him off, and then deal with his brother?" Parad suggested, patting his hammer against an open palm.

Growling angrily, the red Futago hopped over to his brother and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let's-a-go!"

"Okie-dokie!" The green brother agreed.

The red brother concentrated, a red aura forming around him, and a green aura around his brother. Their life counters appeared over their heads, the red one's rapidly ticking down, while the green one's started increasing.

"Wait a second… He's transferring lives! He can't do that!" Parad protested.

"… Kind of looks like they are," Emu pointed out.

The red brother's life counter reached to zero, and he staggered back, looking substantially weaker. The green brother, positively brimming with power, flexed his muscles. "Oh yeah! Let's-a-go!"

The purple pipe appeared, and the life counter began decreasing once more as several dozen new green Futagos jumped out. "Oh, come on!" Parad complained.

"Wait, something seems different," Emu murmured with a frown.

"Here we go!" All of the green brothers jumped into the air, converging in space… And then, with a brilliant flash of green light, _fused_ together, creating a gargantuan green Futago at least 50 meters tall!

As the Riders gawked in disbelief, the red Futago laughed and jumped into the air, landing on his brother's hat. Posing, he declared, "Let's-a-go!"

...

 ** _TO BE CONTINUED..._**


	27. Boss Stage 9 and Question 24

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Holy crap," said an astounded Kiriya.

"That's one big Bugster," Hiiro remarked.

"Wait a minute, that's cheating! Our monsters aren't supposed to get that big!" Taiga protested. "That's more of a Sentai thing!"

"To be fair, Luigi _did_ have the ability to get this big in one of his games," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD pointed out.

"I thought that the Futago brothers were completely indistinguishable from a pair of brothers created by a certain other company?" Nico questioned innocently.

"Oh, shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

…

"Oh boy," Emu moaned, staring up and up at the giant monster.

"Hold on! I call shenanigans! There's no way a few dozen Bugsters could possibly form a monster that big! Where'd all the extra mass come from?!" Parad demanded.

Emu stared him in disbelief. "Seriously? That's what you're choosing to question?!"

"It's a way to distract myself from how utterly terrified I am. How are we supposed to fight that?!" Parad cried.

"Level one?" Emu suggested.

"I think it's a bit too big for that," Parad groaned.

"Actually, I believe I may be able to provide you with some assistance," Miyamoto spoke up from the bench, utterly calm, unlike Jiro, Mrs. Yamaruma, and the twins. "Perhaps this will suffice?"

With a flick of his Power Gloved hand, he flung an Energy Item at the duo. Parad reflexively caught it and did a double take when he realized what it was. "Oh. OH. Oh _YES_. Yeah, this should do the trick!"

"We really are reenacting a fight from one of those games, aren't we?" Emu commented, staring at the Energy Item with a bit of envy. "I don't suppose-"

"Nope!" Parad declared, clutching the Item to his chest. "It's mine! I'm Luigi, after all!"

"And of course _now_ is when you're actually happy about that," Emu grumbled good-naturedly.

"Come on, man, you got to use this the last time, now it's my turn!" Parad insisted.

"Eh, fair point. Go ahead," Emu said, nodding at the Item. "This should be fun."

"Of that, I have no doubt."

And without further ado, Parad activated the Giant Energy Item.

The effects were immediate. Parad was surrounded in a green glow, and suddenly increased in height exponentially, growing and growing and growing until he was the same height as the startled green Futago Bugster, towering over the city and all in it. "THIS IS AWESOME!" He roared, shattering windows and accidentally setting off several car alarms.

"Might want to lower the volume a little bit!" Emu yelled up at his partner.

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOWER THE VOLUME A LITTLE BIT!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! HERE, LET ME BRING YOU UP TO MY LEVEL. Also, I should probably lower the volume a bit," Parad said, lowering his voice somewhat. He bent down and extended a hand. Emu hopped in it, and the giant delicately raised him up to his head, where the human hopped off and landed on top of his hat.

"Can you hear me now?" Emu yelled.

"YES! I mean, yes. Were you trying to tell me something?" Parad asked.

"That you needed to turn down the volume a bit," Emu said. "Also, you're about to get hit in the face by a giant hammer."

"What?" Parad said, just before the giant Futago smashed a giant hammer into his face, sending him staggering backwards, nearly crushing the people in the park beneath their feet.

"Parad, watch out! You nearly stepped on them!" Emu yelled.

"Oh, sorry! Dang, how do the Sentai manage to avoid this?" Parad wondered as he regained his balance.

"We have to get out of here!" Said an alarmed Jiro, helping the still-injured. Mrs. Yamaruma to her feet. "It's not safe!"

"There may be something I can do about that," Miyamoto said, not seeming particularly concerned.

He tapped the screen of his Driver.

 **| STAGE SELECT! |**

…

"WHAT?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked in disbelief as the area around the two giant Bugsters was engulfed in pixels. "How is he circumventing my jamming field?!"

"Because he's freaking Shigeru Miyamoto, duh!" Nico snorted.

"… I wish that did not make as much sense as it did," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD complained.

…

As a tremendous wave of pixels shot out from Miyamoto, the landscape changed dramatically. Where once there were skyscrapers, now there were rolling hills, many of which had eyes for some reason. Where once was a park, there now was a large lake, which the two giants were standing shin deep in. Perched on a hill near the lake was a large fairytale castle, white with red roofs, pointed towers, and a large stained-glass window of a beautiful blonde crowned women over the entrance. A balcony just underneath the window had a group of people standing on it, most of them strange short mushroom people, but three clearly human, one of them a dead ringer for the women on the window, and the other a pair of mustached men in red and green with blue overalls. A fleet of airships resembling sailing ships suspended in the air by giant propellers circled the Castle, bombarding it with shells, but the (strangely cute) monsters manning the ships stopped what they were doing to stare at the giants that had just materialized in the lake.

"Mamma Mia!" One of the two men, the shorter one in red, cried in alarm.

"Oh no!" Moaned the taller one in green.

"Oh my! What's happening now?" The lovely blonde woman in a pink dress and crown cried.

"IT'S THE END TIMES! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" One of the mushroom people shouted. All of the mushroom people, who'd already been panicking due to the blitzkrieg, started screaming and running in circles again in terror.

"Hey! What gives?!" Demanded the largest of the monsters on the airships, a giant turtle with a spiked shell, horns, and a shock of red hair. "I already reserved this timeslot to attack Peach's Castle! Come back another day!"

Parad slowly turned to take in his surroundings. The airships, the Castle, the rolling hills and fluffy white clouds, many of which had eyes for some reason... "Emu. Are we… Are we in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I think we are," Emu whispered, reverently.

"… BEST. DAY. EVER."

"I KNOW, RIGHT?!"

…

"JEALOUSY!" Nico shrieked, clawing at her face, a dark aura of pure envy blazing around her.

"Did they just enter a videogame?!" Asked an astonished Taiga.

"We've done it before," Hiiro pointed out.

"Yeah, but not… Not like this!" Taiga argued. "Just how powerful is this Miyamoto guy?!"

"Clearly much more powerful than our resident God," Kiriya joked.

"I'd yell at you for that, if it weren't so obviously true," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD moaned.

…

"Everyone, please calm down!" The woman, Princess Peach, yelled, trying to get her panicking subjects under control. "I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this!"

"That would be my doing," Miyamoto explained, suddenly appearing on the balcony.

Everyone started. "O-oh! Mr. Miyamoto! What are you doing here?" Peach asked in surprise.

"Apologies, Princess. Some fellow heroes from my world needed a change of venue for their battle, and I thought this place would be thematically appropriate," Miyamoto explained. "Don't worry, I will see to it that they do no harm to your kingdom."

"They better not!" The turtle monster, who'd been eavesdropping, bellowed. "I've got dibs on that!"

"This is a dream come true," Parad moaned out in the lake.

"Mine too," Emu told him. "But we can geek out about it later. Right now we need to deal with the Futago brothers."

"Huh? Oh, right! We can't let those cheap knockoffs ruin the Mushroom Kingdom!" Parad agreed. "They're in our house now!"

"In that case… Let's-a-go!" Emu declared, pointing dramatically at the giant and the much smaller Bugster riding on his head.

The giant Futago bellowed, sounding oddly like a certain legendary King of the monsters, and jumped into the air, twirling as he came down towards Emu and Parad with a mighty drill stomp. Parad backpedaled to get out of the way, and the Bugster came down hard in the water, sending massive waves splashing out in all directions.

The Toads in the castle wailed in horror as they saw the great tsunami coming at them, only for the water to pass harmlessly on either side of the palace. Peach sighed in relief and shot Miyamoto a grateful look.

Bowser, rather bedraggled and having lost several of his ships, was not quite as happy. "GRAWR! This was supposed to be MY invasion day! I won't stand for this! Koopa Troop, ATTACK!"

The remnants of his armada peeled off from the castle and headed toward the lake.

"Should we be worried about that?" Peach asked in concern.

Miyamoto shook his head. "No, my boys will be fine."

Back at the lake, Parad had been forced to stumble back as he got splashed by the water. The giant Bugster took advantage of his momentary distraction to charge forwards, swinging his hammer and hitting Parad in the gut, knocking him over and causing him to land on his rear in the water, sending more waves splashing out. The Bugster raised his hammer over his head to bring it smashing down on Parad, but the Rider quickly blocked the blows his own hammer, kicking at the green Futago's crotch and causing him to double over in pain, allowing Parad to get back up and hit his foe with a hammer uppercut, flinging him into the air and causing him to crash down on the edge of the lake, crushing several trees in the process.

Parad jumped into the air and started spinning, intending to crush the Futago with his own drill stomp, but the giant Bugster rolled out of the way just in time and Parad inadvertently burrowed into the ground, destroying more of the forest and burying himself up to his waist. "Uh-oh."

The Futago brought his hammer down in a mighty chop onto Parad's head, burying him the rest of the way into the ground. The Bugster crowed in triumph…

Until Parad erupted from the ground behind him and wrapped his arms around him, pinning the Bugster's arms in place and causing him to drop his hammer. "Did you forget that I could do this back when we were small?" Parad taunted into the Futago's ear, the giant Bugster angrily struggling against his captor as the Rider dragged him back towards the lake.

"Yeah, except I wasn't tiny and on top of your head at the time," Emu, who'd managed to avoid being crushed by jumping onto his partner's shoulder at the last moment, complained. He heard a cry of faux Italian and looked up just time to see the red Futago brother jump off the top of his sibling's head and come down towards him, hammer raised over his head. He yelped and quickly rolled out of the way before the Bugster could smash into him. "Hey, you're not supposed to do that! That was never in the games!"

"I'm pretty sure Mario and Luigi never had to fight giant evil knockoffs of themselves in the games either," Parad pointed out, grunting as the angry green Futago slammed his head backwards, smashing into the Rider's face and causing him to loosen his grip. "Gah!"

The Futago took advantage of this to charge energy into his hand and zap Parad, causing him to stumble back, freeing him. The Green Giant rushed to grab his hammer and brought it up with a powerful swing at Parad's head, which the Rider barely deflected with his own hammer.

On top of Parad's head, Emu stumbled, nearly falling off. The red brother seized the initiative and hurled fireballs at him, which the Rider barely managed to deflect. "Careful, I'm up here too!" Emu yelled to his partner.

"Tell HIM that!" Parad shot back, forced back into the lake as he blocked consecutive hammer blows from his opponent. "I don't remember him being this tough before!"

Emu jumped into the air, bouncing off of his opponent's head and dazing him, smacking him from behind with his hammer, and nearly knocking him off of the hat. "Maybe being turned into a giant powered him up? That makes sense, right?"

"Yeah, but I'M a giant too!" Parad pointed out. "So shouldn't that cancel out?"

Emu used his hammer to deflect a fireball from his foe. "Apparently not. This guy seems a bit stronger, too."

"Whatever. In the end, they're nothing more than Viruses wearing crappy costumes! Our outfits are much better!" Parad claimed, swinging his hammer at the green Bugster's legs. The Futago jumped over the swing and kicked Parad in the chin, knocking him back into the water. Emu and the red brother both had to cling to the hat to keep from falling into the lake.

"Did he forget that his brother is here too?!" Emu cried, kicking at the Bugster and trying to knock him off.

"Maybe he didn't notice he was gone?" Parad suggested as he got back to his feet.

Alarmed, the green giant paused before attacking again and patted the top of his hat. "Oh no!" he cried when he realized his brother wasn't there.

"It's-a-me, Futago!" The red brother yelled, waving to his sibling. Emu took this opportunity to bash him on the head with his hammer.

"Mamma Mia!" The giant shouted angrily. Forming a ball of green electricity, he tossed it into the air and swung his hammer, knocking it towards Parad's head.

The Rider deflected with his hammer. "The heck is he doing? He's gonna take out his brother, too!"

"I think he's aiming for me, actually," Emu speculated as exchanged fireballs with the Futago.

"Oh yeah? I'm not gonna let him lay a finger on you!" Parad said angrily, swiping his hammer through the air. "If you want your brother back, you're gonna have to get through me!"

The Green Giant took this as a challenge, forming another ball of electricity and flinging it at Parad. The Rider send it back towards the Bugster with a swing of his hammer, but the Futago sent it right back with another swing, the sphere growing in size with each strike. "Oho, you want a tennis boss fight, do you? I'm game!" Parad, roared, deflecting the attack again with another swing.

On top of Parad's head, Emu and the red Futago were jumping all over the place, hurling fireballs and clashing hammers. The red Bugster started twirling across the surface of the cap towards Emu, but the Rider hopped over him, bouncing off his head, then coming back down with a powerful hammer swing to knock him out of his twirl. The Bugster set his hand on fire and slammed it into Emu's chest, triggering a small explosion which sent the Rider staggering back. The Futago swung his hammer at Emu's head, but Emu quickly blocked it, then swiped his hammer at the Bugster's legs, knocking his feet out from under him. He tried to end the fight with a decisive downward swing, but the Bugster rolled out of the way and slammed his hammer into the side of Emu's head, snapping it back and sending him staggering away, stunned, his hammer slipping from his fingers.

Crowing in triumph, the Bugster tossed his hammer way, ignited both his hands, then rushed forwards and slammed his palms against the sides of Emu's head, burning him from both sides. Emu cried in pain, flailing his fists helplessly to try to get the red brother off of him as his Rider Gauge steadily depleted. In desperation, he ignited his own hands and thrust a palm into the Futago's face, burning it severely. The Bugster screamed and let go of Emu as he stumbled back, hands clutched over his face, blinded.

Seeing this, the giant Futago gasped. "Oh no!" In his startlement, he was unable to deflect the next volley, and the much-engorged ball of electricity exploded into his chest, sending him crashing into the water.

"All right! I think it's time to finish this!" Parad declared.

"Agreed," Emu said, grabbing his hammer.

Both Riders advanced on their foes, ready to finish them off…

When suddenly Parad was rocked with small explosions, causing both Riders to lose their footing. "What the-"

The airships had arrived, and fired away at Parad with all cannons as they circled from a distance. "I have absolutely _no_ idea what's going on here," Bowser snarled from the largest vessel. "But the two of you look way too much like those irritating plumbers, so you're going down!"

"Gah! Cut it out!" Parad cried, swiping at the airships, but they were too far up for him to reach. "If you should be attacking anyone, it's the other guy! He's a Luigi ripoff!"

"Oh, believe me, he's next!" Bowser snarled.

During the exchange, the green Bugster managed to get to his feet. Seeing this was his chance, he tossed his hammer side and rubbed his hands together, green electricity charging up. "Here we go!" He shouted, thrusting his hands out and firing a massive green lightning bolt at Parad.

The Rider swore, tossed aside his hammer, and quickly generated a lightning bolt of his own. The two blasts met in the middle of the lake, clashing and flashing as both Green Giants poured all their power into it, each struggling to overwhelm the other.

"Mamma Mia!" Mario cried in alarm from the Castle balcony.

"Oh my!" Peach exclaimed, noticing in alarm that a massive mass of green energy was forming at the center point of the blasts. "If that explodes, it could destroy them both!"

"Oh no!" Luigi wailed.

"Don't worry," Miyamoto said calmly. "It will not come to that."

Parad howled as he put everything he had into the lightning bolt, struggling to push it back towards the Bugster. The constant bombardment from the airships wasn't helping. "I'm having a lot of trouble holding my concentration like this!" He snapped. "Why don't you go bother the other guy?!"

"Because I don't want to!" Bowser roared with a laugh.

Emu noted with some alarm that, thanks to the cannon fire, Parad was having trouble focusing, and the green Futago was starting to gain ground in their lightning war. "There's gotta be something I can do…" He murmured. A cannonball exploded nearby, nearly knocking him off the hat. "Hey! Watch where you…"

He trailed off, suddenly getting an idea. "No. There's no way this is going to work," He murmured to himself. "It's too insane. I can't do that!"

A moment later, he jumped as high as he could, landing on a dangling anchor hanging from the underside of Bowser's flagship. "Guess I am!"

Quickly pulling himself up link by link, he scaled the anchor chain, hopped from there to a cannon protruding from one of the gun ports, then jumped over the railing and onto the deck, startling the minions that had been milling about, loading the cannons. "Permission to come on board?

Bowser started upon seeing Emu. "Mario! Or… A weird fan boy? Whatever! Get him!"

The minions obeyed their master and charged at Emu. The Rider chuckled. "Oh man, I've always _dreamed_ of doing this…"

He jumped into the air. He landed on top of a Goomba, crushing it, bouncing off and landing on top of another Goomba, which received the same fate. He hopped from minion to minion, squashing all of them, before landing on a Koopa, causing it to retreat into its shell. Bouncing on top of the shell sent it whizzing across the deck, ricocheting all over the place and plowing through any minion unlucky enough to get in its path.

A Parakoopa swooped down to hit Emu from behind, but he back flipped over its head, landing on top of its shell and bouncing off, causing the poor turtle to lose his wings and fall to the deck, where it was immediately hit by the out-of-control shell and sent flying over the railing. As Emu was propelled higher into the air, he grabbed one of the mast spars, did a full rotation, and flung himself off, bouncing off another Parakoopa and landing on the quarter deck before an irate Bowser.

"Sorry for the intrusion, but would you mind if I borrowed your ship for a moment?" Emu inquired.

Bowser replied by breathing fire at him. Emu ducked and rolled, the stream of flames passing over him. "I'll take that as a no."

"I don't know who the heck you and your friend think you are, dressing up like the Mario brothers and fighting some other guys dressed like the Mario brothers, but you're getting in the way of my latest plan to capture Peach!" Bowser snarled, leaping into the air to try and body slam Emu.

Emu swung his hammer up in an uppercut, sending Bowser flying back. "In a way, I'm doing you a favor. You know this attempt will end with Mario and/or Luigi trouncing you like usual, right?"

"You don't know that!" Bowser roared, swiping his claws at Emu. Having fought countless iterations of the Koopa King in dozens of games over the years, the Rider didn't even need to think to dodge the attack, having honed his reflexes to the point where he reacted on pure instinct. "I might win this time! And Peach will finally marry me!"

"Bowser, I respect you and all, and I am incredibly flattered to be in your presence, and in any other situation I might want your autograph-" Emu began.

Bowser paused. "Wait, really?"

"But you've been doing this for years, and it NEVER goes the way you want, so maybe it's time for you to possibly consider that… She's just not that into you?" Emu suggested.

Bowser stared him for a long moment. Then he roared, exhaling a tremendous conflagration which actually blew up a small part of the ship.

"… Right. That topic is off the table," Emu noted, having barely dodged the fire blast that took out most of the stern.

"I'M GONNA CREAM YOU FOR EVEN _THINKING_ THAT!" Bowser roared, bursting into flames.

"Before you do, there's something I've always wondered: who is Bowser Junior's mother?" Emu asked.

Bowser froze at that. "Junior's… Mother?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's not Peach, right?" Emu inquired.

Bowser blushed and started stammering. "Well, ah, the thing is, you see, um, Junior's, Junior's mother is, er, eheh, uh-"

While Bowser was distracted, Emu dashed forward and slid beneath his legs. "HEY!" Bowser yelled in alarm, peering between his legs after the Rider.

Before Bowser could turn around, Emu stood up and grabbed Bowser's tail. The monster turtle's eyes widened in alarm… And then he sagged in resignation. "Really?"

"Yep," Emu said, pivoting on his heels, lifting Bowser off the ground and spinning him through the air.

"NOT AGAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIN!" Bowser wailed as he revolved around and around before Emu flung him off the side of the ship.

Down below, the red Futago continued stumbling blindly on top of Parad's head. Hearing screaming, the Bugster glanced up…

And Bowser slammed into him, reflexively wrapping his arms around him as the two of them flew through the air and out over the lake, eventually crashing on a distant shore.

"Wow. I didn't even mean to do that," said a surprised Emu.

"Unnnh… Keep that control stick smokin'…" Bowser moaned as he pulled himself out of the crater he'd formed upon hitting the ground… And was surprised when the red Bugster, crushed beneath his immense form, disintegrated. "What the…. Did I just kill Mario? Or… Some guy dressed like him?" He considered this for a moment, before shrugging. "Eh, I'll take the win. GWARHARHAR! YOU HEAR THAT, WORLD?! I FINALLY KILLED MARIO, OR SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE HIM! GWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Green Giant gasped in horror. "No, bro!" His control over the lightning bolt waned, allowing Parad to gain some ground in their struggle, and he quickly had to resume his concentration to keep from being overwhelmed.

Emu nodded as the other airships broke off from circling Parad to go retrieve their King on the lake shore. "And now, part two of my cunning plan!"

He spun the ship's wheel, changing the vessel's course and pointing it directly towards the green Bugster. Hitting the lever conveniently labeled 'Full Throttle,' the ship's engines flared, going into overdrive as it rocketed towards the Bugster. Emu jammed his hammer in the wheel mechanism, locking it in place, then immediately jumped out, landing on top of Parad's head. "Did you miss me?"

"Did you go somewhere?" Parad asked in confusion. "Kind of in the middle of something here."

"Oh, never mind," Emu said crossly. "You'll understand soon enough."

The green Futago noticed Bowser's flagship streaming towards him, and panicked, realizing it was on a collision course for his head. He tried to step out of the way, only for Parad's lightning bolt to surge forward, and he had to quickly concentrate to keep it at bay with his own. Sweat rolled down his face as he suddenly realized he was stuck. If he disengaged to try to dodge the ship, he would get blasted by Parad's lightning. However, if he did nothing, the ship would slam into his head, and THEN he would get blasted by Parad's lightning. "Mamma Mia!" He wailed, realizing he was doomed. He racked his brains, desperately trying to think of way out of this mess…

But didn't think fast enough, and the ship slammed into his head, exploding on impact. Naturally, this sort of thing made it difficult to focus on generating a powerful lightning blast, and his green bolt fizzled out of existence, allowing Parad's to shoot forward at… Well, lightning speed and slam into his chest, lighting his entire body up with green electricity and causing his skeletal structure to flicker on and off. With a tremendous emerald explosion, he was flung out of the lake entirely, crashing into a nearby hill, though thankfully not one of the ones with eyes.

"Nice one!" Emu enthused.

"Yeah, though there might have been some trouble if that airship hadn't conveniently crashed into him for some reason," Parad commented.

"That wasn't a coincidence, it was me," Emu explained. "I commandeered the ship while you were distracted. Threw Bowser off as well."

"Whoa! Really?! That's awesome!" Parad gushed. "How'd you do it?"

"Spun him by the tail, 64 style," Emu explained.

"Classic! Shame I missed it," Parad complained.

"Well, I think it's time we both got to do something incredible, I don't think he's quite out yet," Emu observed as the Green Giant, blackened and burning and twitching as little jolts of green electricity coursed through his body, struggled to get back to his feet.

"Finishing move?"

"Finishing move."

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **| SUPER MARIO BROTHERS CRITICAL STAR! |**

Parad crouched down, then sprang upwards, jumping high into the air. "Oh my!" Peach cried as the gigantic Rider shot up through the clouds and vanished from view. "Where is he going?"

Mario and Luigi, recognizing the move, glanced at each other and nodded. Miyamoto smiled. "To end this."

Parad and Emu, the latter desperately clinging to his partner's hat, rose higher and higher through the stratosphere, finally reaching the edge of space, the moon and the stars shining down on them from a vast black sky stretching out in every direction. "Wow…" Emu whispered. "It's beautiful!"

"And that lucky bastard Gentarou gets to see it all the time…" Parad murmured, awestruck by the starlit vista. "Although I'm pretty sure our Moon doesn't have a cathedral on it. Hey, maybe you can bring Poppy back here to get married!"

"Sh-shut up, man! And don't let Poppy hear that, she might get _ideas…"_ Emu noticed a fanciful structure flying past, surrounded by adorable vaguely star-like creatures in various different colors. "Oh, hey, there's the Comet observatory! I think I see Rosalina. Hi, Rosalina!"

Both Emu and Parad waved at the passing structure. The Lumas and their 'mother,' a beautiful woman in a blue gown, waved back.

"Do you think she's related to Peach? They look so alike," Parad remarked as the observatory flew away. "So pretty…"

"I don't know, but she was definitely preferable to Lubba and his 'Starship Mario,'" Emu commented. "I'm glad she's still part of the franchise. Heck, she even made it into Smash! The ultimate honor. Oh, I think that's ours," he remarked, noticing pixels coming together to form a giant five-pointed star with eyes.

"Ready for a ride?" Parad asked, grabbing the star.

"A possibly lethal journey from space to hit an opponent on the surface? YES," Emu said excitedly, hopping onto the star.

"Look out, Gentaro, you're not the only Rider to take out an enemy from space anymore!" Parad crowed, winding back to hurl the star and Emu at the planet below.

"Actually, I think Takeru defeated an enemy in space once," Emu corrected him.

"Yeah, but I'll bet he never made it look as good as this!" Parad shot back. "Ready?"

"Ready!"

"LET'S-A-GO!" They shouted as Parad hurled the star, with Emu riding on top of it, at the planet below.

…

Elsewhere…

On the bridge of the Battle Orion, Lucky frowned. "Why do I get the feeling that someone is trying to outdo me without realizing it?"

"Alright, Lucky!" Garu shouted. Everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Why did you say that?" Asked the confused Raptor.

"It's… Lucky does it all the time, often for no reason, but you don't think that's weird," the befuddled Wolfman replied.

"Yes, but that's because it's Lucky's catchphrase, not yours," Naga pointed out.

"Yeah, it's like someone other than Tsurugi talking about a legend beginning," Kotaro agreed.

"Nobody's been doing that, right?" Tsurugi asked angrily. "Because that's my thing!"

"Nobody's been doing that," Hammy assured him.

"Good, because if somebody did, it would be the beginning of a new legend… Of pain!" Tsurugi promised.

Stinger rolled his eyes. "You and your legend…"

"You know, it's okay if you borrow my catchphrase now and then, I don't mind," Lucky told the upset Garu.

The Wolfman sighed. "No, no, I've ruined it. I can never do it again without looking back on this and remembering how embarrassing it was."

"If only that kept the Supreme Commander from still doing the Kyulette…" Raptor muttered under her breath.

"Eh? Did you say something, Raptor?" Xiao, now sporting his back brace, asked.

"We are almost at our destination, everyone!" Raptor said quickly. "So everyone, get ready, because we're going to blow up a star!"

"Okyu!" The Kyurangers cheered.

Madako stared at the 12 ultimate saviors in disbelief. "...How'd these jelly-brains ever manage to beat us?!"

…

Back in the Mushroom Kingdom…

While Emu wasn't planning to blow up the star he was on (at least not while he was on it), he was certainly enjoying the ride down. Incredible G-forces buffeted him. The heat got worse and worse as they reentered the atmosphere. If it weren't for his suit, or the fact that they were operating on video game physics, it was quite likely he would have been dead several times over by now.

He had never felt more alive.

"THIS IS SO COOL!" He whooped, streaking across the skies like a shooting star (well, because he technically was one), startling birds, breaking through clouds, forcing airplanes to divert course, and very nearly knocking an airship full of mean-looking rabbits wearing nice hats out of the air.

It wasn't long before he could see the entirety of the Mushroom Kingdom spread out below him, with Peach's Castle growing closer and closer on the horizon. Not wanting to miss his target and accidentally crash into the castle (wrecking it was Bowser's job, not his), he very subtly moved from side to side, shifting his weight gradually to make minor adjustments to his flight path to stay on course.

Soon, his ultimate objective, the giant green Futago Bugster, was dead in his sights, growing bigger and bigger with each passing second as he approached. The giant wailed as he noticed the incoming star and frantically hurled bolts of green lightning in a desperate attempt to shoot Emu out of the sky before he could slam into him. Unfortunately for the Bugster, Emu had mastered almost every bullet hell known to man, and for someone who had beaten Mushihime Sama Futari's True Final Boss and conquered every Touhou game on the hardest difficulty, dodging the attacks from a winded giant monster who could barely manage to fire multiple slow-moving projectiles at once was child's play.

And so, moments before impact, just as Emu jumped off the star and the final Futago brother realized he was about to die, all he could muster was a resigned, "Mamma Mia…"

The star struck him, and the final Futago brother was annihilated in a spectacular explosion, star-shaped bursts of energy flying off in every direction and bursting like fireworks, much to the delight of the watching Toads. Princess Peach applauded, and Miyamoto nodded in approval.

 **PERFECT**!

Emu landed in the palm of Parad, who had landed nearby. "Thank you so much for playing my game!" They chorused.

Miyamoto glanced at Mario and Luigi. "Well? What do you think?"

Mario rubbed his chin in thought, and then gave his creator a nod of approval. "Oh yeah!" Luigi agreed, giving him a thumbs-up.

Miyamoto chuckled. "Yes, that's what I figured. They may be just what we need…"

"Grr! Don't think this is over!" Bowser snarled as he flew past in his Koopa Clown Car, his airships following in his wake. "I don't know who those guys were, but they can't protect you all the time! I'll be back, and nothing will stop me then!" He laughed malevolently. "Enjoy your precious peace while it lasts, Mushroom Kingdom, because come tomorrow, I'll be back to crush you with an even bigger army! GWAHAHAHAHA!"

"You can't, we have a tennis match tomorrow," Peach reminded him.

"Wait, we do?" Bowser pulled out a cell phone and checked his calendar. "Oh yeah, we do. Uh, how about the day after?"

"Kart race."

"Oh yeah, forgot. Better add that as a reminder…" Bowser muttered, claws tapping against his astonishingly durable touchscreen. "Okay, what about the day after that… No, no, we've got golf then… Then baseball… Basketball… Tennis again… Another Kart race… Party… Smash fight… Okay, I think I've got an opening next Thursday, that work for you?"

Peach glanced at the brothers, who nodded. "That should work fine, thanks."

Bowser smiled and input it into his schedule. "Wonderful! Putting that in… Now… Okay, enjoy your precious peace while lasts, Mushroom Kingdom, because come tomorrow, I'll be back to crush you… In TENNIS! GWAHAHAHAHA!"

"You're not going to use a cursed racket this time, are you?" Peach asked in concern.

"No, once was enough. I get possessed way too often as it is, I don't really feel like repeating the experience," Bowser grunted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get home, it's almost time for Junior's recital."

Peach gasped. "Oh, that's wonderful, he's been practicing so hard! Tell him I said hi!"

"Sure thing! He's already promised to give you a private recital the next time I kidnap you, so that's something else to look forward to. Later!" Bowser said cheerfully, waving as he and his armada flew off. Peach and the brothers waved back.

Emu and Parad exchanged baffled looks. "… I do _not_ understand their relationship," Emu said in disbelief.

"It's just how they are, I guess," Parad said. He paused. "Uh, Emu?"

"Yeah?"

"How do I get back to my regular size?"

…

As the three Riders reappeared in the park, Sou and Shu, no longer sick, raced over, enthusiastic looks on their faces. "That was so cool!" Sou gushed.

"You're just like the real Mario brothers!" Shu agreed.

"I don't think we've ever received a nicer compliment than that," Emu remarked, glancing at his partner.

"Kids, that means more to us than you'll ever know," Parad whispered, voice choked with emotion.

"And I hope the two of you have learned something about teamwork and brotherhood from watching Emu and Parad fight together," Miyamoto told the brothers sternly.

The twins nodded seriously. "We did, Miyamoto-senpai!" Sou told him.

"Yeah, we'll never fight over videogames again! From now on, we'll share them and play together, honest!" Shu promised.

"And maybe someday, we'll be just like you two when we grow up!" Sou added, smiling at Emu and Parad.

"… I was wrong. NOW we've never received a nicer compliment," Emu gasped, trying not to cry.

"I can't believe it. You actually managed to get through to my sons. That's more amazing then defeating a giant monster," Mrs. Yamaruma said as she hobbled over, supported by Jiro.

"Emu! Parad! That was amazing! If I weren't already helping Taiga, I'd ask to be _your_ sidekick!" Jiro gushed.

…

"WHAT?!" Taiga screamed.

"JEALOUSY!" Nico shrieked.

…

"Jiro, thanks for coming out to help," Emu thanked the doctor.

Jiro chuckled and waved him off. "It's no problem. Just doing my job."

"You want to come back to the studio with us?" Parad offered. "The way things are going, you might actually become a Kamen Rider by the end of the day!"

…

"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD howled.

…

Jiro shook his head. "Thanks, but I have to get Mrs. Yamaruma here to the hospital. I've stabilized her, but she needs proper treatment. Plus, someone has to keep running around the city putting out the fires you guys are causing!"

Both Riders winced. "Sorry about that…" Emu said quietly.

"We're causing a lot of damage, aren't we?" Parad asked unhappily.

"Don't beat yourselves up over it, you and the others are just doing the best you can," Jiro assured him. "We all know whose fault it REALLY is that this is happening. Give him an especially hard kick to the nuts from me when you get the chance, will you?"

"Sure thing," Parad promised, already looking forward to the prospect.

…

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cringed, decidedly NOT looking forward to the prospect.

…

"Emu. Parad. Both of you have done well," Miyamoto told the Riders as Jiro escorted the Yamaruma family away. "I knew I chose well in granting you the power of the Super Mario Bros. Legend Gashat."

"We were honored to receive such an amazing gift, fatheri," Emu said, bowing respectfully to the legendary designer.

"You are more than welcome to keep it, and a few other Nintendo Legend Gashats I hope you will give to your friends… However, I warn you that there are some strings attached," Miyamoto warned them.

Parad groaned. "Of course there are. It's never that easy."

"The Bugsters are not the only threat to the world originating from video games," Miyamoto explained. "I and the other game creator Riders like myself have been fighting them in secret ever since we learned of their existence. A time may come when we may call upon you and your friends to assist us in protecting both the real and virtual worlds. When that day arrives, can I count on you?"

"Of course you can!" Emu said immediately.

Parad nodded rapidly. "Yeah, you can count on all of us, dad! We won't let you down!"

Miyamoto embraced the duo and smiled. "I never thought for a moment that you would."

…

Meanwhile, in a distant star system…

A wormhole opened in the darkness of space, expelling Gentaro, Nadeshiko, and the roaring Don Hormage. "You insolent worms!" He snarled, blasting the two Riders away. "You DARE to remove me from Makuu Space?!" He glanced around, noticing that they were in orbit around an absolutely massive star, the celestial body swollen to immense proportions, its glow an unhealthy shade of red. Shattered planets and meteoroids floated by, devoid of all life and civilization, if there had ever been any. "Where have you taken me?!"

"Your grave!" Nadeshiko said ominously.

"Oh, nice one," Gentaro remarked.

"Aw, thanks, Gen-kun!" Nadeshiko said happily.

Don Hormage snorted, conjuring a portal with a wave of his hand. "I don't know what you intend, and I don't care! I will return to Makuu Space and finish killing your friends-"

 **| LIMIT BREAK!|**

"WHAT?!" Don Hormage roared as the portal snapped shut.

"My Cosmic Switch doesn't just have the power to open wormholes, but close them as well!" Gentaro informed the tyrant. "So long as I'm here, you aren't going anywhere!"

Don Hormage cackled malevolently, dark flames engulfing him. "A problem easily remedied."

"Nadeshiko, shouldn't that star be going supernova by now?" Gentaro murmured to his girlfriend, a little concerned.

She shrugged. "I said it was going to blow up any day now, that doesn't mean it's going to conveniently explode the minute we get here!"

Gentaro sighed. "Sure would've been convenient, though…"

" _Don't worry, Gentaro. Help is on the way,"_ Kengo informed Gentaro.

Moments later, the rest of Space Squad arrived, warping in in their various spaceships and giant robots. "Gentaro! Nadeshiko!" Geki called from the cockpit of the Super Dimensional Highspeed Ship Dolgiran. "You might want to get out of the way, things are about to get really hot in just a minute!"

Gentaro nodded. "Right! Come on, Nadeshiko!"

"Right behind you, boyfriend!" Nadeshiko chirped, flying after the other Rider.

Don Hormage snickered. "So you realized you couldn't defeat me in Makuu Space, so thought dragging me out here to hit me with your big guns would work? Ha! All you fools have done is make it easier for me to defeat you in one fell swoop! Come at me with everything you have, and I will show you the folly of challenging the future master of the universe!"

" _You heard him. Everyone, fire!"_ Doggie commanded.

" _Let's make a show of it!"_ Capt. Marvelous roared.

Every ship and mecha powered up and fired their strongest weapons or finishing moves. Don Hormage laughed and spread his arms, gathering his own power to counter it…

Only to blink in confusion as the attacks shot past him. "Eh? What is this? Did you miss?"

He turned around just in time to see the attacks fly into the surface of the star behind him. There was a pause, and then the photosphere started trembling, sunspots bigger than Jupiter forming and tearing themselves apart, solar prominences and flares erupting everywhere as the corona shook violently. The warlord's eyes widened, suddenly realizing what was about to happen. "Oh-"

The sun exploded.

Don Hormage didn't have time to scream or make a futile attempt to escape before the supernova hit him. He howled as the solar hellfire engulfed him, his body's super-regenerative cells prolonging his suffering as they desperately struggled to mend his form as quickly as it was ripped apart. It was a credit to his power that he lasted a full 10 seconds before his molecular bonds dissolved completely and he finally shuffled off this mortal coil. It almost came as a relief, really.

Nadeshiko whooped as the Space Squad fleet accelerated away from the supernova at maximum speed, thrusters blazing at over 300% capacity to try and outrun the blast. "That was awesome!" She screamed.

"So THAT'S a supernova? Wow! And here I thought it was a second form for a monster!" Gentaro gushed in amazement.

"… _Why would you think that?"_ Asked the bewildered Kengo.

"Well, that's what the powered-up forms for Zodiarts are called, right?" Gentaro point out.

Kengo groaned as Nadeshiko giggled and hugged her boyfriend. "Oh, Gen-kun, never change!"

"Okay," Gentaro said cheerfully.

" _Um, everyone? We may have a bit of a problem,"_ a concerned Raptor spoke up. _"I can't seem to activate the warp drive. There's some sort of gravity anomaly."_

" _We're having trouble here as well,"_ reported an alarmed Swan.

" _Same here,"_ Don (the Ranger, not the villain) added.

There were several echoes from the rest of the fleet. "What's going on? Why can't we warp?" Asked an alarmed Nadeshiko.

" _IT MUST BE THE INTENSE GRAVITY BEING PUT OFF BY THE SUPERNOVA. IT IS INTERFERING WITH OUR WARP DRIVES,"_ reported the Space Ironmen Ultimate Form XVII, which Gentaro and Nadeshiko were riding on top of.

" _If we can't get free, we won't be able to warp out of here,"_ Swan spoke up. _"We don't have enough fuel to maintain this burn forever. If we don't come up with a solution quickly, we're going to get swallowed up by the supernova."_

"Wait, I can fix this!" Gentaro said excitedly, getting an idea. "If I open a wormhole, we can use that to get out of here!"

" _Gentaro_ -" Kengo began, but the Rider wasn't listening to him and quickly pressed the Cosmic Switch.

 **ERROR**!

"Huh?"

" _Gentaro, the gravity anomaly will keep you from creating a wormhole too!"_ Said an exasperated Kengo.

"Maybe I just have to hit it harder," Gentaro suggested, stubbornly pushing the switch again.

" _Gentaro-"_

 **ERROR!**

" _That's not-"_

 **ERROR!**

" _How it-_

 **ERROR!**

 **ERROR!**

 **ERROR!**

 **ERROT!**

 **ERROLT!**

" _WORKS! Will you stop… Wait, what was that last one?"_

 **ERROLT!**

 **EROLT!**

 **EVOLT!**

 **EVOLT**

 **EVOLT**

 **EVOLT**

 **EVOLT**

 _ **EVOLT**_

"Uh, Kengo, should that be happening?" Asked the confused Gentaro.

" _Evolt."_

"What?"

There was a deranged, ghoulish laugh in his ear and then a voice that was definitely _not_ Kengo's started screaming, "Evolt! Evoltevoltevoltevol _tevoltevoltevoltevoltevolt_ **EVOLTEVOLTEVOLTEVOLT-"**

"The hell?!"

Across the fleet, systems started malfunctioning, displays flickering and glitching before flashing images of battlefields strewn with dismembered corpses, monstrous cobras-or rather, things so indescribable cobras were the thing they didn't resemble the _least-_ tearing people apart, broken cities covered in rivers of blood, planets getting ripped apart and sucked into black holes, eyes and mouths and thousands, millions, _trillions_ of voices screaming with a constant susurrus of "Evolt" in the background, the word flashing repeatedly across the screens in ever-shifting colors, fonts, sizes, and languages.

"The hell's going on?!" Marvelous demanded from the cockpit of the GokaiGalleon.

"I-I don't know!" Stammered an alarmed Don, fingers flying across his console. "I've never seen anything like this before!"

"These readings… They make no sense…" Said a baffled Swan as she stared at her own readout. "The least of which is because I'm pretty sure my instruments can't display symbols like this!"

"Geki, can you do something about all those holographic projections?" Said a disturbed Retsu, who was sharing the cockpit with Geki. "These images are… Unsettling."

"… Retsu, none of my instruments can project holograms," Geki said slowly.

There was a pause. "Then how exactly are they doing it now?"

" _I have no idea."_

"Raptor, what is this? Some sort of virus?" Xiao demanded on the bridge of the Battle Orion.

"If it is, it's not like any I've ever seen before," said the perplexed gynoid. "Let me interface with the ship to run diagnostics-"

"Wait, don't-" a horrified Balance, sensing… _Something_ with his technopathy, something alien, something unspeakably _vile_ , but was too late.

Raptor threw back her head and screamed, red and black electricity coursing through her body, her eyes flickering as her metal frame twitched and sparked.

"RAPTOR!" a horrified Spada cried, rushing to help her, only to be blasted back in a tremendous burst of electricity the instant he touched her shoulder.

As half the crew rushed to his side while the other rushed to Raptor's, the gynoid suddenly collapsed against her console.

"Raptor!" Cried a shocked Hammy.

"This is terrible," Naga said, an overjoyed look on his face.

"Wrong expression," Balance told him.

"Oh, sorry," the silver Ranger said, face returning to its usual blank state.

"Yeah, if she's dead, who's going to fly the ship?!" Madako demanded. Everyone glared at her. "Oh, and, uh, it's terrible because she's our friend, and all that."

Suddenly, Raptor sat back up. "Raptor, thank goodness!" Said a relieved Lucky. "You scared us for a minute there!"

"Evolt."

Lucky blinked. "What?"

Raptor's head rotated on its axis, staring at them with sinister red eyes. " _Evolt_ ," she whispered, mouth splitting apart to reveal jagged metal fangs as she lunged at her friends.

"The heck is going on?!" Gentaro demanded, flinching as unearthly screams and that strange word repeating over and over consumed his commlink. "Nadeshiko, what do you think is… Nadeshiko?"

The living mass of SOLU stared at the supernova encroaching on them, trembling in fear. "Gentaro," she whispered. "I think… I think something terrible is about to happen."

Gentaro blinked. "Terrible? What do you-"

 _ **READY, GO! BLACK HOLE BREAK! CIAO!**_

Behind them, the solar conflagration paused… And suddenly reversed on itself, imploding on a single point. That point continued compressing upon itself, and the space around it started warping in ways that space _shouldn't_. Literal cracks began forming in the fabric of space and time surrounding that point, and then it _shattered_ , jagged fragments of reality glimmering with distant starlight flying outward before suddenly being sucked back into the hole in the universe that had just been formed.

A hole which was widening, as a pair of massive claws gripped the edges from the inside and _pushed_ …

…

When Emu and Parad reappeared in the studio, Taiga immediately had to grab Nico by her backpack to keep her from lunging at the two Riders. "JEALOUS!" She screamed, foam practically flocking from her lips. "MIYAMOTO! YOU! WANT!" She dissolved into a string of increasingly unintelligible gibberish.

Emu held up a Gashat. "Will a new Nintendo Legend Gashat from Miyamoto himself make things better?"

Nico's eyes fixated on the device. "GIVE."

Emu tossed her the Gashat, and she eagerly snatched it out of the air, some semblance of sanity returning to her as she studied its label. "… Oh my Gaim. _No freaking way_. METROID?! I get to become _Samus Aran?!"_

"A form based off of Samus Aran," Emu corrected her.

"Samus Aran is my spirit animal!" Nico gushed. "I'm totally straight, but for her, I would make an exception!"

"I think a lot of people would," Kiriya agreed.

"Quickly moving past that, we have enough for everyone," Parad said cheerfully as he and Emu distributed more Gashats to their friends.

"The Legend of Zelda… Yes, this should do nicely," Hiiro remarked.

"Star Fox? That should be fun…" Taiga murmured.

"Yeah, so long as you don't turn into a furry," Kiriya joked. "And I have… Excitebike! Nice!"

"Mystical Ninja…" Mizuki murmured, examining her Gashat. "I'm not familiar with this series, but I shall do my best to be worthy of it."

"Punch Out? But I'm a martial artist, not a boxer," said a perplexed Satsuki.

"Boxing is a kind of martial arts," Parad pointed out.

"Not one I practice," Satsuki retorted.

"Well, we asked Dad if he could give you something like Street Fighter, but he said that since it wasn't a Nintendo exclusive he couldn't give us a Gashat for it, and that Smash Brothers would be too much power for any one person to possess," Emu explained. "So it was either this or ARMS, and we figured Punch Out was more your style."

"Very well," Satsuki said, looking somewhat reluctantly at her new Gashat. "I shall do my best to make the most of it."

"By the way, sorry I stole your chance to go out there and show what you could do," Parad apologized.

"It's fine," Satsuki assured him. "I wasn't ready, and you were. I can wait until next time." She sighed. "If only there weren't going to be one…"

"We got one for Poppy, as well, Elite Beat Agents," Emu spoke up, holding up one last Gashat. "We'll give it to her later."

"I'm sure she'll love it," Kiriya told him. "Especially if it's from you." Emu blushed at this, but did not deny it.

"Why not Ouendan?" Nico asked, glancing up from drooling over her Metroid Gashat. "That's what Elite Beat Agents is a Westernized spinoff of."

Emu shrugged. "We were too busy freaking out over getting these in the first place to ask. I doubt Poppy will mind."

"Hey Kuroto, aren't you going to complain about us giving out free Gashats that didn't come from you?" Parad asked.

"What's the point?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD groaned, head lying against his podium. "Everyone's getting Gashats. Everyone's MAKING Gashats. People keep showing up from out of nowhere to help you, and unexpected individuals are becoming Riders at the drop of the hat, making mockeries of all my plans and making it infinitely clear that the universe delights in making fun of me and trampling on all my hopes and dreams. To get upset at things not going my way is futile, since it's abundantly obvious that any control I thought I had over this game is nothing more than an illusion."

"Does that mean you're going to just cancel this stupid game and let us all go?" Taiga asked hopefully.

"No, because if I'm miserable, I see no reason why the rest of you shouldn't be as well," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said gloomily. Everyone groaned.

"Should we just beat him up and be done with it?" Kiriya suggested.

"I can still trigger that epidemic, you know," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD pointed out glumly.

"You didn't when I called your bluff and went to help those kids," Parad pointed out.

"That was a moment of extreme urgency. Nobody is in immediate danger right now.… But they will be if I unleash the virus, and somehow I doubt you're willing to risk it," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, morose.

"He usually sounds much more cheerful when he's making threats like that. It's kind of weird," Kiriya complained. "Almost sucks all the fun out of it."

"Would you feel better if we gave you a Gashat? Dad had one for you as well," Emu offered.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD paused. "… He did?" He whispered, a sliver of hope in his voice.

"Here you go," Parad said, tossing Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD a Gashat.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD caught it and started laughing maniacally, his usual mannerisms returning to him. "You fools! With the power of this Gashat, created by the only man I am reluctant to admit may be as good a game designer as myself-"

"Seriously? Ego much?" Asked a disgusted Taiga.

"Have you MET him?" Nico pointed out.

"-I shall crush you all with the might of… Wait, Mario Tennis?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said in confusion, doing a double take. "Why would he give me this?"

"Because it's Waluigi's first appearance," Parad said.

There was a pause. "… _I AM NOT WALUIGI_!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed as several of the other started laughing.

"I don't know, you _do_ have his color scheme," Emu joked.

"Yeah, plus you're a cheap knockoff of a much more beloved character, just like Waluigi," Parad added.

" _I'm_ not the knockoff!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted. "If anything, _Ex-Aid_ is the knockoff! Genm came first!"

"I don't think anyone cares," Hiiro said blandly.

" _I_ care!"

"Nobody who matters."

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed unintelligibly and started banging his head against the podium, much to everyone's amusement. "Wonderful. Even Miyamoto-senpai is making fun of me now. When did my life become a constant string of humiliating and embarrassing defeats? Nobody answer that, it was a rhetorical question."

He sighed and looked up. "Speaking of which, let's move onto the next question, so I can attempt to salvage some last shred of my tattered dignity."

"I'm afraid it's far, far too late for that," Taiga pointed out.

"Oh, shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "You're the weakest of the core Riders and constantly getting sassed and made fun of by everyone here, you're one to talk."

"That may be true," Taiga agreed. "But I'm still more liked and well-respected than you."

Everyone nodded in agreement at this. "Yeah, he even has a girlfriend!" Kiriya added.

"I DO NOT!" Taiga bellowed, turning red as everyone started laughing again.

"Well, at least they aren't laughing at me now…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD muttered, pulling up the next question.

 **Which of the following Sentai teams are the closest to being contemporaries of Kamen Rider Kikai?**

 **A.** **Ressha Sentai ToQgers**

 **B.** **Gosei Sentai Dairangers**

 **C.** **Zyuden Sentai Kyoryugers**

 **D.** **Mirai Sentai Timerangers**

 **Well, that was certainly a big boss battle! Sorry for anyone who was expecting to see Satsuki in action this time, but this was an idea too good for me to pass up. I hope you enjoyed it!**


	28. Question 25

Apparently a lot of people had trouble understanding this question? Seemed obvious to me, but I guess not everyone got it. Still, enough people guessed correctly to choose the right answer. Good on you!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Kikai? The red and blue robot guy?" Nico asked in confusion.

"No, you're thinking of Kikaider," Taiga told her. "Although… Yeah, Kikai is a robot too."

"Whoa, really?!" Nico asked in disbelief.

Hiiro nodded. "Indeed. He's a hero from the year 2121, where the Earth has been overrun by evil robots and he has turned against his own kind to protect what's left of humanity."

"Sort of like Terminator, but without anyone jumping back in time to prevent the birth of John Connor," Kiriya added. "… Or to make sure he's conceived, I guess."

"So cool… Wait, how'd things even get that bad? Shouldn't whatever Sentai or Riders have been around then put a stop to it before got that far? Sounds like someone really dropped the ball!" Nico complained in alarm.

"To be fair, it's not as if _any_ of us are always on the ball when it comes to unexpected threats," Taiga pointed out.

"Yeah, especially since- aside from the occasional team ups – – we have a weird tendency to ignore whatever's going on at the moment if it doesn't really involve us, and let the new guys handle everything on their own," Parad agreed.

"Why do we do that, anyway?" Emu wondered. Nobody had an answer for that.

"Maybe the reason the world got in that shape is because our successors in the future weren't specialized to fight against a threat that wasn't mechanical in nature, so weren't ready for a robot uprising?" Taiga suggested. "I think I heard once that when the ToQgers and Kyoryugers teamed up, the former initially couldn't help the latter because their weapons were of no effect against alien invaders until they found a way to combine their powers."

"No, that can't be it," Kiriya argued. "We're all pretty good at finding ways to adapt our gear to work against enemies they weren't designed to fight."

"Like when I came up with a brilliant way for all of us to fight against the Nebula Bugsters after that accursed Mogami disabled our Drivers," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD spoke up. "You're welcome for that, by the way."

They ignored him.

"Maybe it was just a really, REALLY bad robot uprising, and even though our successors fought their hardest, ultimately it wasn't good enough?" Emu suggested reluctantly. "None of us are infallible. We've come close to total defeat many, many times over our adventures. All it takes is one mistake…"

Everyone grimaced at this. "There's a sobering thought…" Parad muttered.

"You may be onto something with that," Mizuki confessed. "When the Zangyack invaded, it took all 34 Super Sentai who existed then to repel them, and even then they had to sacrifice their powers to do so… And the Zangyack just rebuilt their forces and came back for another go a year later. If it weren't for the Gokaigers, that might've been it for Earth. It's not inconceivable something like that might've happened to the heroes of the future as well."

Hiiro shrugged. "Ultimately, it's academic. We don't know how it's going happen, just that it did, or rather, will. And when it does, it will be up to Kikai and whoever's left to save the world."

"I guess, but I still can't help wondering how it will happen," Nico complained.

…

A little less than 100 years later…

A young woman in a lab coat stormed into her lab, followed by two identical women also wearing lab coats. "I'm getting out of here, and I'm taking you two with me," she said decisively.

"But what about-" one woman asked.

"-The sun?" Her sister finished.

The first woman picked up a laptop, giving her friends an angry look. "Don't you get it? We're not allergic to sunlight! We never have been! It was all a lie!"

Her friends reeled at this. "But we don't have access to-" one woman started.

"-The security computers!" Her sister finished.

"I don't need access," the woman who wasn't a twin said smugly. "I just need to blind the servers for a few minutes with this."

She opened the laptop to reveal what looked like an ominous glowing red eye on the screen. "A wireless upload of the Venj-X virus, a self-aware, self-generating computer virus I created by cobbling together data from Messiah, the Roidmudes, and threw a bit of the Bugster virus in for good luck. Meet Project Venj-X!"

She hit the spacebar on her laptop, activating the program.

Suddenly, soldiers rushed into the room and grabbed the twins, dragging them towards the exit. The woman gasped. "No! Jen, Jenna, no!"

Frantic, she pulled out a flash drive, fumbling to remove the cap and plug it into the laptop. Before she could, more soldiers rushed in and grabbed her, wrenching her away from the computer. "NO!" She cried in horror. "You have to let me upload the firewall, or the virus will spread beyond the facility!"

She broke free from her captors and rushed to the computer, but she was grabbed again and dragged from her lab before she could plug the flash drive in, wailing, "No! I just wanted to go outside! No, please, it could infect the entire world!"

Outside the lab, one of the faceless agents who'd been handling her her entire life sneered. "Please, doctor, you _vastly_ underestimate our security. We'll squash this little worm of yours within a day."

Elsewhere in the facility, one of the analysts suddenly received an email with, "Unhappy with your penis size? Click here for five easy ways to enlarge it in under a week!" for a header.

The analyst hesitated. After glancing around to make sure nobody was looking in his cubicle, and double-checking that his antivirus software was up-to-date, he opened the email.

A year later, the planet fell to the machines.

…

"Wait, if he's from the year 2121, how do we know about him?" Nico asked.

"Time travel," Hiiro said with a straight face.

"Right. Of course," Nico muttered, rolled her eyes. "So, if we know that the future's going to be overrun by evil robots in about 100 years, why haven't we done anything about it?"

"Because if we prevented the future from being overrun by evil robots, then we would never have learned that the future is going to be overrun by evil robots, so never actually did anything to prevent the future from being overrun by evil robots," Taiga speculated. "To prevent a paradox."

"Really?" Nico asked.

"No, not really. How the heck should I know? Time travel is confusing and makes no sense," Taiga complained. Everyone nodded in agreement.

(Elsewhen, Sougo and his comrades and enemies, the DenLiner crew, and the TimeRangers all got the strange feeling someone was complaining about them, or rather, their central conceit.)

"Part of the problem is that while we _know_ it's going to happen, we don't know _how_ , like we discussed earlier," Hiiro pointed out. "Any action we take to prevent it might just guarantee it happens anyway."

"Oh, right, classic predestination paradox. And of course, if we don't do anything, it'll _still_ happen. Damned if we do, damned if we don't," Nico realized. She made a face. "That bites."

"Well, we know that there will be Sentai after 2121—like the TimeRangers—so that means things must work out in the long run," Emu said optimistically.

"Yeah, sucks for the billions of people who die in the meantime. So, what was the question? Which of those Sentai teams are the most likely to be contemporaries of Kikai? What's that about?" Kiriya wondered.

"I think it means which of those Sentai teams would be around in the same year as Kikai," Emu theorized.

"Well… The TimeRangers are also from the future, right? Must be them," Parad guessed.

Kiriya shook his head. "Can't be. Yeah, they're from the future… In the _31_ _st_ century. Like, 1000 years from now. If anything, WE'RE the closest to being contemporaries to Kikai, since he's only about 100 years from now."

"Well, how could it possibly be any of the others?" Asked a confused Taiga. "I'm pretty sure all those teams are already around now."

"Maybe one of them traveled to the 22nd century at some point?" Parad suggested.

"Mizuki, did they?" Hiiro asked.

Mizuki frowned. "I don't… _Think_ so. Remember, I don't have an encyclopedic knowledge of Super Sentai…"

Kiriya snapped his fingers, getting an idea. "Wait a sec! I just thought of something! While lots of Sentai are basically one-and-done deals, others are part of a heroic legacy and have been passing the mantle down across generations! Heck, the current team of Shinkengers is… I want to say the 18th incarnation of the group?"

"That's actually a good point," Taiga agreed. "Mizuki, are any of those three remaining teams part of a legacy?"

Mizuki considered this. "Both the DaiRangers and Kyoryugers are. The Dairangers are descendants of the Dai tribe, who have battled the evil Gorma Tribe for over 8000 years. And especially brave humans have been selected to become Kyoryugers throughout history whenever the Deboss Legion has resurfaced, with the earliest recorded member (not counting the biomechanical dinosaurs who fought the Deboss in the first place millions of years ago, or their founder Torin) being chosen about 1500 years ago. It is certainly feasible that either one could continue to have representatives 100 years from now."

"Okay, so we've narrowed it down to two. That's good," Parad said enthusiastically.

"But which of those two is the right one?" Emu wondered.

"Mizuki, perhaps your new friends can help?" Satsuki suggested.

The ninja's eyes lit up. "Ah, a wonderful idea! Let's see what they have to say," she said, pulling out the Dino Rampage Gashat.

"Oh come on, you can't just keep using that all the time!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

"Then maybe you shouldn't keep asking questions where the answers involve dinosaurs. Let's see…" Mizuki regarded the Gashat for moment, the device glowing. "I see… Thank you, that makes sense."

"What did they say?" Hiiro asked as Mizuki put away the Gashat.

"It's the Kyoryugers. In the year 2114, a remnant of the Deboss Legion resurfaces from the gap between dimensions, and the great-grandchildren of the current team are summoned to fight them," Mizuki explained.

"Wait, then how do we know about them now?" Nico questioned.

"Because their leader traveled back in time to team up with his predecessors to prevent a monster from the future from resurrecting Deboss ahead of schedule and changing history, and they came back with him to the future to make sure the monster was defeated for good," Mizuki told her.

Nico rolled her eyes. "Of course they did."

"Also, Yayoi was less than pleased to learn that the future Red and Pink Kyoryugers are descendants of Amy and Daigo, meaning she'll never get a shot at him," Mizuki added.

"Ooh, a love triangle! How exciting!" Said an eager Parad.

"Which is why she's considering stealing some of his sperm to-"

"Okay, I think that's too much information," Hiiro said quickly.

"So if these guys started out a few years before the robot apocalypse, what do you think happened to them?" Nico wondered.

Taiga shrugged. "Maybe they were killed. Maybe they're still around, fighting back however they can. We'll probably never know."

…

In the year 2121…

"FULLMETAL THE END!"

Kamen Rider Kikai generated a tremendous amount of electrified ice energy throughout his upper body and jumped high, the energy transferring to his right foot and solidifying into a large icicle as he shot towards his foe, piercing the robot and destroying it in a tremendous explosion.

"Yeah! Go, Kikai!" The children whom the robot Rider was escorting to safety cheered, applauding his victory.

Kikai turned to his audience, grinning as he prepared to return to normal…

When suddenly another dozen Humanoise, robots look like humans that most definitely weren't, stalked towards them, chanting, "Are you… A machine? Or… A human? Are you… A machine? Or… A human? Are you… A machine? Or… A human?"

"Looks like we aren't through just yet," Kikai muttered, preparing to fight the next wave… Only for his body to shudder and freeze up, his armor dissipating and leaving him in his human-seeming base form. "What?! No, no, I can't be out of power now!" He cried in alarm, struggling to make the pose that would trigger his solar satellite recharge.

The children started screaming as the Humanoise, sensing his weakness, rushed forwards, shouting, "Are you… A machine? Or… A human? Are you… A machine? Or… A human? _Are you… A machine? Or… A human?"_

"Human! And proud of it!" Shouted an unfamiliar voice.

The evil robots paused, turning to stare in surprise at six battle-hardened humans in color-coded attire marching towards them. "Who… Who are you?" Kikai, also known as Rento Makina, asked in surprise.

In answer, the six humans grinned, pulling out strange-looking batteries and squeezing them.

 **BRAVE IN!**

Five of them whipped out yellow revolvers resembling dinosaurs and plugged the batteries in, while the sixth put his battery into a gauntlet on his left wrist.

 **CHOMPACHOMP**!

 **GABUTYRA/PARASAGUN/STEGOTCHI/ZAKUTOR/DRICERA/PTERAGORDON!**

" **KYORYUCHANGE!"**

The six of them did a little dance as samba music started playing from nowhere before firing their guns and gauntlet into the air.

" **FIRE**!"

Energy projectiles flew into the air then circled back down towards them, transforming into a giant robot dinosaur heads which chomped down on them, causing them to be clad in outfits of colorful not-spandex with spiky left shoulder pads and a pattern going diagonally across their chest vaguely resembling a dinosaur head. With another chomp, helmets resembling dinosaur heads formed on their heads.

"Hear our roar! The Fanged Brave! KyoryuRed!"

"The Bullet Brave! KyoryuBlack!"

"The Armored Brave! KyoryuBlue!"

"The Slashing Brave! KyoryuGreen!"

"The Horned Brave! KyoryuPink!"

"The Thundering Brave! KyoryuGold!"

They slapped the ground before standing up in synchronized poses. "The bravest and strongest in history! Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger!" Explosions erupted behind them.

"It's gonna get wild!" the red Ranger cried.

"Just try and stop us!" They all yelled, charging towards the enraged robots, weapons drawn.

A very pink… _Creature_ covered in hearts beckoned to the amazed children as the six warriors started savagely tear the Humanoise apart. "This way, kiddies! Don't want to get in the way!" She said cheerfully, a big smile on her face.

The kids stared at her warily. "Mr. Rento told us not to go near strangers," one of the children said uneasily.

The monster nodded. "A very good philosophy. However, I think you'd probably be better off coming with me and my friends to safety rather than staying here and getting murdered by horrible nasty robots, don't you?"

"But what about Mr. Rento?" One of the children asked in concern as they reluctantly rushed over to the very friendly-looking monster, who was already handing out candy, which she admitted to herself wasn't exactly helping their very justified fear of 'stranger danger.'

"Don't worry, my assistant's got him," the monster promised them.

A green scarecrow grunted as she struggled to drag the mostly immobile Rento to safety. "Geez, you're heavy. What are you made of, solid metal?"

"More or less," Rento told her.

"Oh. That would explain it."

Rento sighed. _Not my most dignified moment… Still, at least the children are safe, which is what really matters._

And that's when the midget scarecrow accidentally dropped him on his face. "Whoops, sorry! Butterfingers. Hey, Candelira, you think if I poured Restoration Water on him, that would fix him up?"

"Considering he's a robot, I don't think so. If anything, it might make him rust up," the pink monster said, thinking for a moment. "Or just turn him into a giant, but still nonfunctioning, robot, which isn't really much of an improvement."

The scarecrow pouted. "Poopie. Wait! What if I poured it on _myself_!"

"Luckyuro…"

"No, no, hear me out! Then I'll be huge, and not only can I easily pick up this guy and everyone else and get us all the safety, but I could also step on those bad guys over there and-"

"LUCKYURO!"

The scarecrow groaned. "All right, fine, geez, I'll do it the hard way. Freaking slave driver…"

Practically eating dirt, Rento groaned.

…

"Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted.

"The correct answer is D., Kyoryuger!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "And not for the first time, I wish I did not make that as painful as I did…"

"Why did you make it hurt so much in the first place?" Parad asked.

"Because I assumed that Emu would be getting more incorrect answers then he actually has, and I enjoy seeing him in pain," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD explained.

"You underestimated us," Hiiro said. "And not for the first time."

"Given how many times we've beaten you by now, you'd think you'd stop doing that," Taiga commented.

"That would force him to admit he's not as good as he thinks he is. His ego would never allow it," Kiriya pointed out.

"Are we quite done making fun of me?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled.

"Never," Nico said seriously.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sighed. "just… Just answer the next question, okay?"

 **How many AkaNingers are there?**

 **A. One**

 **B. Three**

 **C. Four**

 **D. Five**

…

 **I hope this question is easier to understand than the last one.**

 **And no, I doubt this is how the world got into the shape it's in by 2121, but it's fun to imagine, isn't it?**


	29. Boss Stage 10 and Question 26

Before we begin this chapter, I'd like to say something. In spite of years of watching tokusatsu and other action shows, I have zero knowledge of martial arts. Or how to write a battle accurately using martial arts or characters explicitly described to be martial artists. In spite of this, I hope that this chapter's battle using characters explicitly said to be martial artists will still entertain and amuse you all.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me. Mizuki's opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the author. Well, except where a certain red ninja is concerned…

…

"Wait, there's more than one AkaNinger? I thought it was supposed to be one red Ranger per team," said a confused Kiriya. "And yes, I'm aware that there is more than one ShinkenRed, but that's not exactly a common circumstance."

"I think there are three of them," Emu said, vaguely recalling something like that from playing Cho Super Hero Taisen to completion. (Not counting the time when he was actually INSIDE the game.)

"Four," Mizuki corrected, an unhappy expression on her face. "Takaharu Igasaki, his father Tsumuji Igasaki, his grandfather Yoshitaka Igasaki, and his son Yoshiharu Igasaki."

Taiga raised his eyebrows. "Four Reds?! That seems a bit excessive."

"Are there that many of the other colors on the team?" Parad asked.

"No, just the Reds," Mizuki said, still seeming displeased.

Nico snorted. "Typical. The red Rangers get all the good stuff."

"Wait, the fourth AkaNinger is Takaharu's son? But the team only debuted a few years ago. How could he be a Ninninger already?" Emu asked.

Mizuki sighed. "He's not. Or at least, not yet. An older Yoshiharu from the year 2029 traveled back in time to prevent his father, aunt, and cousins from being killed in a battle to the death with the Zyuohgers in 2017."

Nico rolled her eyes. "More time travel. Naturally."

"Wait, why were they fighting to the death?" Asked the surprised Parad. "I thought Sentai were all buddy-buddy with each other, and are willing to help each other out the instant they meet each other, instead of trying to murder each other all the time like way too many of us Riders do. Heck, I'm pretty sure most of us have tried to kill or least seriously injure each other on multiple occasions! Including me!"

"And I dearly wish I had succeeded…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled.

"They were manipulated into fighting each other by an intergalactic hitman who'd been hired to take out the Zyuohgers," Mizuki explained.

"That… Doesn't exactly sound like the sort of thing that a hitman is supposed to do," said the confused Emu.

"Neither does the death of both teams somehow putting an end to the Super Sentai legacy, but apparently that's what happened by Yoshiharu's time," Mizuki said sourly. "It doesn't make the least bit of sense, but given the Ninningers were involved, it's hardly that surprising."

"You don't like the Ninningers?" Taiga asked, failing to see Hiiro and Satsuki frantically waving for him to shut up.

Mizuki's eyes flashed in anger. "Don't like the Ninningers? Whatever would give you that idea? After all, it's not as if Takaharu Igasaki is the loudest, stupidest, most obnoxious, and all around worst excuse of a ninja I've ever seen. Or one of his cousins callously turned his back on the family legacy to run off to Europe to learn how to be a wizard."

Hiiro sighed. Satsuki gave the alarmed Taiga an exasperated look. "Great, you've gotten her started now."

"Wait, Europe…wizards…Hogwarts is REAL?!" Nico cried, eyes wide.

"No, of course not," Hiiro said with a snort. "Now, _Boarbunions_ , on the other hand…"

"And it's not as if they seem to take an absurd amount of pride in being ninjas that don't hide! I mean, sure lots of ninjas these days are more flashy and visible than tradition would dictate – – myself included – – but it's not as if we go around BOASTING about it! And their sixth Ranger CERTAINLY isn't an absurd American stereotype with a cowboy mecha and a cheeseburger morpher who they allowed to join the team even though he wasn't a member of the clan! And the family patriarch _definitely_ isn't a pathetic failure who got his powers stolen at a young age and, instead of continuing his training in spite of this handicap, dropped out! After all, it's not like there aren't LOTS of ninjas around the world who don't have any special powers, but make do without them!" Mizuki continued ranting, a throbbing nerve forming on her forehead. "And the matriarch ISN'T a complete bitch who only married into the family because she's a fan of ninjas, seems to think having given birth to a pair of ninja heroes and being the agent for several famous ninjas makes her an expert on our culture and heritage, _never_ tried to force her own son and nephews to quit being ninjas so that she could use the Ninninger name for her precious 'Ninnin Girls' fighting idol magical girl team, or showed a horrific amount of disrespect to the dead by giving the transformation shuriken from a fallen adversary to a rookie ninja with no ties to the family!"

"Um-" Taiga stammered, eyes wide.

"And they _definitely_ aren't obsessed with some stupid title of 'Last Ninja, 'which would seem to imply that said ninja, who of COURSE is a member of their family, would be the greatest in the world, and none of the rest of us matter, or always going on about how their clan defeated some warlord back in the 1500s and saved Japan and later the world from his Yokai reincarnation almost 450 years later! Big deal! It was the Sengoku Period, _everyone_ was doing that! My clan prevented _ODA NOBUNAGA_ from coming back from the dead as a Demon King to destroy the world _five_ times, averted _three_ alien invasions, killed Dracula, tamed several clans of hostile Yokai, and are the agents of an _actual freaking Dragon God_ , but you don't hear US bragging about it!" Mizuki raved.

Everyone but a weary Hiiro and Satsuki, who looked as if they'd heard these complaints many times before, stared at her, stunned. "Wow," Nico said finally, eyes bulging.

"Wait, what was that about Nobunaga? And aliens? And a Dragon God?" Asked a dumbfounded Emu.

"And _Dracula_?!" Parad added.

"So, I take it that all those things you just said about what the Igasakis aren't are, in fact, what they are, and that you aren't fond of them," Kiriya said fairly slowly.

"What gave you that idea?" Mizuki snapped.

Satsuki put a hand on her shoulder. "Mizuki…"

The ninja blinked, closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, and allowed her lover to hug her. "I… I'm sorry. That outburst was unbecoming of me. I just… Really, really, REALLY don't like the Igasaki clan. And since I am the heir to my clan, I have to deal with them – – _especially_ Takaharu – – at a lot of the ninja conferences." She sighed. "In all honesty, I don't _hate_ most of the Ninningers – – they're decent people and competent ninjas for the most part, their family's flaws notwithstanding, I just… Can't STAND Takaharu…" She said through gritted teeth.

"If this Takaharu guy's really that bad, why is he even still on the team?" Asked an astounded Taiga.

"Nepotism," Mizuki said flatly. "And they don't really have anyone else who can take the job without looking outside the clan since Tsumuji is woefully out of practice. If he weren't family, I'm sure they'd have gotten rid of him a long time ago, although I admit that might be personal bias speaking. I can't see any other reason why they would bother keeping him around, no matter how strong he is. I mean, all right, he's a great fighter, but he's absolutely SHIT at stealth, which we all know is one of the most crucial elements of being a ninja!"

"Sounds like you dodged a bullet earlier, then," Nico pointed out. "If he and the other ninjas had showed up, you might've been stuck dealing with him instead of those super cool Dino girls."

Mizuki made a face. "When you put it that way, I suppose I did luck out, didn't I? I suppose I should be grateful that whatever mission he and his comrades are on kept them too occupied to bother me."

…

Elsewhere…

"Guys… I don't think we're doing so well," Takaharu observed from his perch atop the Super Ha-Oh Shurikenjin.

"No! Really? What could possibly give you that idea?!" An angry Isshu Kasumi, KuwagaRaiger, snapped from within Revolver Tenrai Senpuujin.

"Maybe because we're getting horribly thrashed and are now being slowly crushed by Orochi's coils?" Takaharu suggested as the giant serpent, several of its long necks wrapped around the giant robots, squeezed tighter, sparks flying from their joints as explosions rocked their forms and the ninjas struggled to maintain their balance in the cockpits. "I mean, I'm not the only one who noticed that, right?"

Isshu spluttered in incredulous disbelief.

Fuuka Igasaki, ShiroNinger, sighed wearily. "Did you forget? My brother is an idiot and doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm. Or rhetorical questions."

"Exactly, I have no idea what she just said!" Takaharu said cheerfully.

"You don't have to sound so happy about it!" She shouted at him.

"Don't worry, everyone!" Samuraiman, who'd managed to wriggle free and jumped to the top of a nearby ridge proclaimed. "I'll save us! Hyaaaaaaaaaaah!"

He leaped into the air, raising his javelin over his head…

And four of Orochi's heads shot out, latching their jaws around his wrists and ankles. Before he had time to cry out in surprise, they tore him limb from limb, pieces of blue metal falling all over the place.

"Wow, it's a good thing that was just my straw doll," Samuraiman, perfectly intact and standing next to the entangled giant robots, commented. "Otherwise, that would be it for me."

The ninjas stared at the pieces of scrap that were quite clearly not a straw doll, then back at the robot. "How-" Nagi Matsuo, KiNinger, began.

"Just… Just don't ask," Saizou, NinjaBlue, said wearily. "It's not worth it."

"Everyone, I just had an idea to get out of here," Kasumi Momochi, MomoNinger announced. "Orochi's coils are too strong for us to break free from… So we'll have to break OURSELVES instead. End our combination, so we can all slip free from its grip and attack the beast with all of our individual mecha. They'll be weaker on their own, but there'll be too many of them for it to keep track of at once, even with eight heads."

"That's a great idea," said an impressed Yosuke Shiina, HurricaneRed.

"Indeed. Everyone, disengage!" Tsuruhime, NinjaWhite, commanded.

Immediately, all three giant robots split apart into their constituent mecha, causing the surprised Orochi to close its coils on thin air as the numerous machines flew in all directions. "What?!" Kyuubi cried, startled.

"It worked! Great plan, Kasumi!" Said the excited Luna Kokonoe, MidoNinger.

"Ha, just what we'd expect from our resident genius!" Fuuka said proudly.

"Okay everyone, now is our chance! Spread out and-" Sasuke began.

"GATTAI!" Takaharu shouted.

"Wait, what?" Asked a confused Tenkai, Shurikenger.

"If we couldn't beat it in our strongest robots, then clearly what we need to do is combine ALL of our robots into a giant super ninja robot powerful enough to win!" Takaharu suggested.

"… Takaharu, it doesn't work like that," said an exasperated Yakumo, AoNinger.

"Sure it does! We were able to do it with the ToQgers and the Zyuohgers, so why shouldn't we be able to do it with both of our predecessor ninja teams?" Takaharu pointed out.

"That's… Almost a good point," said a startled Kouta Bitou, HurricaneYellow.

"Could that actually work?" Kinji Takigawa, StarNinger asked.

"Maybe… Perhaps if we-" Kasumi started.

"I'll start it off! GATTAI!" Takaharu shouted, piloting the Sky OtomoNin Lion Ha-Ojo towards everyone else.

"Takaharu, wait, this isn't-" the giant lion flying fortress robot's spirit, Shishi-Oh protested.

"GATTAI!"

"TAKAHARU, WAIT-"

"GATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Takaharu crashed Lion Ha-Ojo into the others. Instead of miraculously combining, the collision sent the giant robots and other massive vehicles flying, smashing into each other in a massive domino effect which knocked flying machines out of the sky, pinned mechas underneath each other, and culminated in the colossal Super Karakuri Revolver Mammoth tipping over and crushing just about everyone beneath its massive weight. Samuraiman, who had miraculously managed to avoid all the chaos, slowly backed away in hopes that he wouldn't be noticed, only to trip over one of the smaller Karakuri and fall over.

Kyuubi and Orochi stared in disbelief, and then burst into raucous laughter. In Kyuubi's lap, Neko stirred and woke up, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Mmm…Kyuubi? What's going on?" She asked drowsily, blinking her eyes blearily.

"Oh, you're up," the kitsune said happily. "A pity you didn't wake up earlier, because I just witnessed the funniest thing I've seen in centuries." She shook her head in amusement. " _These_ are the legendary ninja Sentai so many Yokai and other evildoers seem to fear? I have to say, I was expecting better."

"Well, we might have given it to you… If SOMEONE hadn't screwed things up…" Kouta snarled, glaring at Takaharu as all the ninjas pulled themselves out of the wreckage of their machines.

Takaharu nodded. "Yeah, if you guys had just combined when I told you to, we could've avoided all this!"

Quite a few ninjas had to be held back to keep them from mauling Takaharu. Somehow, he failed to notice.

Kyuubi chuckled in amusement. "After such a hilarious but pathetic display, I'm almost considering sparing your lives…" Her eyes turned cold. "However, you harmed Neko, and for that, there can be no mercy."

"Kyuubi-" Neko asserted.

"My love, were our situations reversed, can you honestly say you would not feel the same way?" Kyuubi interrupted.

Neko hesitated, then reluctantly shook her head. "… No. No, I would not."

The great Fox nodded. "I thought as much. Orochi? I believe it's dinner time."

Orochi grinned and opened its eight jaws wide, slavering as they surged towards the terrified but resolute ninja…

"Kyuubi no Okami! I have come to bargain!"

"Hmm?" Kyuubi lifted a hand, causing the many heads of Orochi to freeze in their tracks. Seeing an opportunity, Takaharu shouted a battle cry and tried to attack, but thankfully his teammates piled onto him before he could do something rash. The fox frowned, noticing that there was now a giant mechanical toad perched atop the nearby ridge, a ninja in purple armor standing on its head. "Oh? And who is this, now? Another ninja Sentai come to interfere?"

The ninja bowed. "Not a Sentai, milady, but a Rider. I am Rentaro Kagura, Kamen Rider Shinobi."

"Shinobi? Yes, I believe I have heard of you," Kyuubi murmured, intrigued. "Have you come to assist your fellow ninja? If so, I advise you to turn around and leave this instant. I have no quarrel with you, but I have had enough of ninjas meddling in my affairs and trying to stop me from reuniting with my family. This does not concern you."

"I beg your pardon, my lady, but it does," Rentaro said politely. "I cannot allow you to harm my fellow shinobi. However, I do not seek to fight with you. I know of your power and reputation, and the ease with which you have vanquished my ninja senpai makes it clear that I would be squashed in an instant if I dared to raise my sword against you. However, I hope to convince you to change your mind and spare my fellows by offering you another solution to your problem, one which will hopefully avoid any further bloodshed."

"Kagura… What are you doing?" Murmured a perplexed Tsurihime.

"Whatever it is, I hope it works, because I don't see any other way we can get out of this alive," Nagi commented.

Ninjaman, who had reverted to his regular size, nodded. "Yeah, I don't know how many more straw dolls I can sacrifice to avoid certain death."

"Another solution? Explain," Kyuubi demanded.

"Mighty Yokai, you seek to be reunited with your family, correct? That is why you have obtained the mallet, nail, and shuriken, in hopes of breaking open the Seal Door and freeing them?" Rentaro asked.

The Fox nodded. "That is correct."

"You are aware, of course, that doing so will free many, many Yokai other than those you care for, including those who would destroy this world utterly?" Rentaro continued.

Kyuubi sighed. "Yes, I am aware. Unfortunately, I see no other path to achieving my goal. I have exhausted all other options."

Neko nodded sadly. "It's true. We've been trying and trying for years. I don't want to see the world destroyed, but… If it's the only way to get them back…"

"And what would you say if I told you that I knew of a way to reunite you with your family without opening the Seal Door and dooming the world?" Rentaro inquired.

Kyuubi's eyes narrowed. "I would call you a liar and demand you explain yourself before I feed you and your frog to Orochi." Two of the great serpent's heads rose up at that, hissing and licking their lips as they gazed hungrily at Rentaro and his mount.

"I'm not lying," Rentaro assured her. "There is another way. The back door."

Everyone started at that. "The… _Back door_?!" Ikkou Kasumi, KabutoRaiger, asked incredulously.

"Wait, is he implying that the underworld has a back door?!" Asked a disbelieving Luna.

Jiraiya, NinjaBlack shook his head. "That's impossible. We would know about that!"

Ninjaman nodded in agreement. "Indeed! My Masters and the legendary ninja would never have allowed for there to be another passage to the Yokai realm and left it unguarded!"

"Do you think me a fool?! A _back door?!"_ Kyuubi snarled, outraged.

"It's no lie," Rentaro said quickly. "There is a backdoor. When Izanami was banished to Yomi, Izanagi came to regret abandoning her there, but it was too late to free her, for she was now one with the land of the dead. Instead, he created a secret passage to the underworld through which he could visit his wife in hopes of making amends for his mistake and reconciling their marriage."

"… Wait, is he implying that Izanagi found a way to sneak off to the land of the dead whenever he wanted a booty call?" Asked an astounded Fuuka.

"Well, considering he's a deity… That… Is oddly plausible…" Said a disturbed Nanami Nono, HurricaneBlue.

"Wait, but isn't Izanami like a rotting corpse or something?" Asked an alarmed Sasuke.

"I… Guess some gods are just into that sort of thing?" Kinji proposed.

All the ninjas considered this. Then they shuddered in revulsion.

Kyuubi scoffed. "Preposterous. If such a thing were true, I would have known about it in my research, and surely the denizens of the underworld would have used it to escape and overrun the land of the living!"

Rentaro shook his head. "Not so. Izanagi was no fool and knew that the backdoor could be easily abused. He never told any of the other gods of its location, and it is ensorcelled so that only those who know of its whereabouts can find it, both in the world of the living and the dead. My clan are descended from the children produced by Izanagi's reunion with his wife, and we have guarded the door for millennia to keep any from either world from misusing it."

Neko gasped at this, and Kyuubi snorted. "How convenient. And let me guess, in return for sparing the ninja, you will lead me to this backdoor and allow me to use it to bring back my sister, sister-in-law, and children? How stupid you think I am?! Did you really think I would fall for that?!"

"Kyuubi, wait, what if he's telling the truth?" Neko asked, eyes glistening with hope. "If he is, then maybe…"

Kyuubi snarled. "Preposterous. It's clearly nothing more than a trap to lure us away so that he can kill us and save his precious senpai. I nearly lost you once today, I'm not going to risk your life again on a wild goose chase!" Her face softened somewhat. "We've had far too many of those already."

"My lady, I promise that I'm telling you the truth," Rentaro assured the Yokai. "Surely you, one of the eldest and mightiest of all your kind, can tell whether a simple mortal like myself is lying?"

Kyuubi huffed. "Appealing to my vanity will do you no good, human. However… You are correct. There _are_ ways to verify that you are being truthful."

"Then use them. I will not resist," Rentaro said calmly.

Kyuubi narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but sketched a symbol in the air with one of her tail tips, flicking it with her mallet and sending it spinning towards Rentaro, who did not move as it was absorbed into his body and caused him to glow briefly. "Mortal. Is there a backdoor to the underworld?"

"There is," Rentaro confirmed.

Neko gasped. Kyuubi's eyes widened, and the ninjas started whispering in amazement. "That's… And you…You know where it is?"

"I do," Rentaro confirmed again.

"And if you take me there, you are not luring me into a trap?" Kyuubi asked, incredulous, a hint of desperate hope in her tone. "You will allow me to use the door to retrieve my family from the underworld and bring them back unharmed? You will not impede us in any way?"

"I will not," Rentaro promised. "I will help you get what you want. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Is he for real?!" Asked a stunned Saizou.

"We can't… We can't let him do this. Can we?" Asked an alarmed Luna.

"Right now, I am uncertain we have a choice," Tenkai said gravely.

Neko squealed and started clapping her hands joyfully. "Kyuubi! It's really happening! We're really going to get them back!"

"I… I don't understand," Kyuubi stammered, flabbergasted. "Why… Why would you do such a thing? What do you seek to gain from this? Do you think that I shall reward you for this act?" (Because she would, but he didn't need to know that.)

"If you had known of any other method to free your family that didn't risk unleashing the wrath of Daimaou and ending the world, would you have?" Rentaro asked.

"Certainly," Kyuubi answered at once. "Neko and I have grown accustomed to this world. We have no desire to see it destroyed or subjugated." (She actually controlled quite a lot more of it then they were aware of, but she didn't think they needed to know that.)

"So if you were reunited with your family, you would leave in peace, and not seek vengeance against humanity at large or the ninjas specifically who took them from you in the first place?" Rentaro pressed.

Kyuubi hesitated for a minute, glancing at the ninjas. "Kyuubi…" Neko implored her mate.

"Neko, I… They _hurt_ you. They took them from us," Kyuubi protested weakly.

"Kyuubi, please…" Neko begged. "Let it go. I'm fine, and once they've been returned to us, is there really any need to continue pursuing vengeance on their behalf?"

Kyuubi sagged in defeat. "Oh… Very well. Yes, once my family is whole again, we shall leave in peace. With any luck, our paths will never cross again."

"And that is why I will help you," Rentaro said. "For the sake of peace between ninja and Yokai. And because… I understand what it is like to do anything, _give_ anything, to make your family whole again."

Kyuubi regarded him for a moment, impressed. "Yes… You would, wouldn't you?" She bowed her head. "Very well. Lead us to this backdoor. However…"

She gestured, and three of Orochi's heads shot out, wrapping around the startled ninja Sentai, trapping them in their coils and lifting them into the air. "Hey, what gives?!" Cried an alarmed Nagi.

"Let us go!" Luna yelled, struggling against her bonds.

"While my truth spell indicates you are being honest… I didn't become as old or powerful as I am by taking unnecessary risks," Kyuubi told Rentaro, ignoring the pleas and protests from the other ninja. "I will hold your comrades hostage until my family is once again among the living. Should anything happen to my loved ones, myself, or Neko, should I detect even a _hint_ of treachery, their lives are forfeit. Are we clear?"

Rentaro nodded. "I understand."

"Wait, you can't make the decision for us!" Seikai, NinjaYellow protested. Orochi squeezed a little tighter. "Right, shutting up now."

"Then we have an accord," Kyuubi said graciously. "Lead on."

Rentaro's robot to begin to hop away, and Orochi slithered after it. It's motions didn't necessarily sit well with its unwilling passengers.

"Ugh. I think I'm going to be sick," Kinji complained.

"This is not how I saw this day going when I got up this morning," Yousuke griped.

"You know, if I grew into a giant again, I might be able to break free," Ninjaman suggested.

"Wouldn't that kill the rest of us?" Sasuke said quickly.

Ninjaman considered this. "Oh. Right. I suppose that would be somewhat inconvenient."

"You think?!" Jiraiya snapped.

Tsurihime sighed. "I hope Rentaro knows what he's doing…"

"You know, if you guys had just combined when I told you to, we probably wouldn't be in this mess right now," Takaharu complained.

"SHUT UP, TAKAHARU!"

…

"Kuroto-" Emu began.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"The answer is four!" Emu continued.

"That is… INCORRECT!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

"What?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"What?! No, that's not possible!" Mizuki protested. "That's all the AkaNingers! Yoshitaka, Tsumuji, Takaharu, and Yoshiharu! Grandfather, father, son, and great-grandson! I didn't forget any!"

"Oh, but you did," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD crooned. "Dark AkaNinger."

Mizuki went very still, face blank. "Dark… AkaNinger?"

"Wait, so there really ARE five?! What is it with his team and it's disproportionate number of red Rangers?" Nico complained.

"Who is Dark AkaNinger?" Asked the confused Parad.

"An evil clone of Takaharu created by Dark Dr. Mavro of the Shadow Line as part of a plot to engulf the world in darkness," Mizuki said softly, slowly drawing her tanto.

Kiriya's eyes widened when he saw what she was doing. "No! NO! Bad Mizuki! We talked about this! No committing suicide!"

"Yeah, like you said before, you aren't a Sentai expert-" Emu began.

"This isn't _about_ my lack of Sentai knowledge," Mizuki hissed as Satsuki struggled to force her blade back in its sheath. "This is about my failing as a _ninja_. I've been going to several of the same conferences as Takaharu for _years_. _Every time_ he talks about all of his adventures, including the time he teamed up with the ToQgers and fought an evil clone of himself and defeated it with peppers and then he died, but was brought back to life by the power of imagination."

"Wait, what?" Asked confused Nico.

"The ToQgers are a… Rather odd Sentai. Don't overthink it," Taiga advised her.

"He's told that story so many times I could recite it word for word in my sleep," Mizuki continued.

"She has. Several times," Satsuki grumbled.

"I've woken up screaming from nightmares where the two of us are the last ninjas left in all the world, and he's _still telling that same damn story_ ," Mizuki moaned. "And yet somehow, when it mattered most, _I forgot about the damn evil clone_. This is unforgivable. Death is the only way I can atone for my failure… And so that _I WON'T HAVE TO HEAR THAT STORY EVER AGAIN."_

"Hiiro, you want to weigh in on this?" An exasperated Emu asked the surgeon.

Hiiro sighed. "Mizuki, put that blade away. Everyone makes mistakes. Granted, you and Satsuki have made rather a lot more today than I would usually be forgiving of-"

"Seriously?" Asked an incredulous Parad.

"But these are… Unusual circumstances. We can discuss ways for you to redeem yourself for this later," Hiiro told her.

Mizuki hesitated, then sheathed her blade. "Hai, Hiiro-sama."

"The relationship you three have is so weird," Nico complained.

"All right, Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"Who is our unlucky victim this time?" Kiriya asked.

"I'm glad you asked!" He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them.

After a moment, the screen changed to show what appeared to be a mix between a laboratory and a training dojo, the walls lined with padding and weapon racks. A very attractive and incredibly fit teenage girl was sparring with a bulky orange training robot. "This is Natsume Masaki, daughter of Miki Masaki, a high executive and head of the special development department of SCRTC."

"SCRTC… That's that sporting goods company, right?" Emu recalled.

Kiriya nodded. "Yeah. 'Supporting Sports through Science and Heart.' They make good stuff."

"They should. They're also the organization which houses and supports the Juken Sentai GekiRangers," Satsuki spoke up, much to the others' surprise.

"I didn't know that," Taiga commented.

"Huh. Neat," Nico said. "… Who are the GekiRangers again?"

"A group of martial artists utilizing a technique devised 4000 years ago in ancient China in which one mimics the abilities of animals," Satsuki explained. "They were originally formed to perpetuate this martial arts style as well as oppose a rival school that threatened to dominate the world. They were able to destroy the rival school, but continue using their powers for justice and teaching others their style to help promote spiritual peace."

"I'm kind of surprised we're hearing this from you instead of Mizuki," Taiga commented, raising an eyebrow. "I thought your thing was Kamen Riders, not Sentai."

"It is, but I'm a martial artist, as are they," Satsuki pointed out.

"Oh, so you go to the same conferences and stuff?" Parad guessed.

"And tournaments," Satsuki agreed. "I've never actually had the honor of fighting any of them in a match, but have watched several of their battles. They're quite good. Even the more senior martial arts Sentai like the Maskmen or Dairangers have trouble against them."

"Aren't all Sentai martial artists?" Nico asked.

"Some specialize in it more than others," Satsuki explained.

"Wait… Hold on… Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"Are you seriously about to infect the daughter of one of the staunchest allies of a Sentai who specialize in beating the crap out of their enemies with animalistic fury?" Parad asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD confirmed.

"… Are you out of your fucking mind?!" Taiga cried, realizing where Parad was going. "You're going to have an entire team of color-coded non-spandex wearing superheroes on your ass! I'd have thought even you would be smart enough not to poke this sleeping bear! Wait, are any of them bear-themed?"

"No, most of them are actually based on giant cats, although one of their most dangerous enemies was bear-themed," Satsuki told him.

"I thought even you would be smart enough not to poke this sleeping lion!" Taiga amended.

"Tiger," Satsuki corrected him. "They don't have any lions. Any living ones, anyway."

"I thought even you would be smart enough not to poke this sleeping Tiger!" Taiga amended again.

"I have had enough of Sentai meddling in my affairs," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled. "I think it's high time I pay them back!"

"Are you SERIOUSLY so petty that you aren't considering the inevitable consequences of this, and how hard they're going to pound you for it?" Asked an incredulous Emu.

"I think we all know he is," Hiiro pointed out.

"I see no reason to fear any retribution. Once this game is over, the Gekirangers, and all other allies of justice, will be unable to lay a finger on me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD declared, laughing malevolently.

"Isn't that more or less what you thought right before we've kicked your ass in the past?" Parad pointed out.

"… Shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"Guys, hold on a second," Kiriya spoke up, before anyone else could. "Let's think about this for second. Are we actually trying to _dissuade_ Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"From doing something that will result in severe bodily harm?" Kiriya continued.

Everyone considered this for a moment. "You know what? Kiriya's right right. Go right ahead, Kuroto-"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"And release the virus. We're curious to see what will happen," Emu said.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD scowled. "And now I'm beginning to have second thoughts… Oh well, too late now."

He hit a large button on his podium.

ERROR!

"Eh?" He pressed again.

ERROR!

ERROR!

ERROR!

"Something wrong?" Taiga asked in amusement.

"Hold on…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled, pulling up several holographic displays. "Oh. Well, that's embarrassing. It seems as if the Bugster I was planning to use isn't quite ready yet."

"Does that mean we're going to skip the boss fight?" Emu asked hopefully.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shook his head as he interacted with his display. "No, no, I must have something in reserve… Let's see… No… No… Aha! Yes, that should do it," he said, pressing the button.

…

The mechanical Beast-Fist Trainer Robo Tough thrust the large circular pads making up its arms forward in simulated punches, Natsume blocking and each attack with ease, fists and feet flying as she pushed the sparring robot back. On the far side of the room, an attractive middle-aged woman, her mother Miki, and an anthropomorphic caracal in red robes were constantly glancing back and forth from the young woman's training to a tablet in Miki's hands.

…

"Hey, is that a Zyuman?" Nico asked.

"No, that's Master Sha-Fu, one of the seven kensei, disciples of the creator of Juken who used a forbidden technique to turn themselves into ageless beastmen to combat their fellow disciples, the three kenma, who betrayed their master and sought to conquer the world," Satsuki explained.

"Oh," Nico said. "Neat."

…

"Come on…" Miki murmured, chewing lip as she concentrated on the readouts on her tablet. "Just a little more…"

"Perhaps," Sha-Fu suggested. "We should push her a little harder?"

Miki considered this for a moment, then nodded and adjusted her tablet. In response, Robo Tough started moving faster and hitting harder, forcing Natsume to struggle to keep up. After a few seconds, however, she managed to find her rhythm, striking and blocking and countering and dodging even quicker than before. As she did so, a golden aura began flickering to life around her, and her blows began dealing heavier damage to Robo Tough, sparks flying as the robot attempted to keep up with her and block her attacks. Natsume snarled and responded by fighting even harder, her aura growing stronger and stronger, her blows lashing out with such ferocity and speed they were almost faster than the naked eye and rocked the robot's entire frame with every blow, sparks flying from its joints as it struggled to match her performance.

Finally, with a feral cry, her aura exploded around her, forcing the robot take a step back. "Gekiwaza: Leopard Fist Fierce Ki Break!" With a savage roar, she surged forwards, punching Robo Tough with all her might as her aura flared around her, taking the form of a leopard. Robo Tough attempted to block the attack…

Only for its shields to shatter, the power behind the blow so strong it was flung across the room, slamming into the wall hard enough to crater it. The machine convulsed, sparks and arcs of electricity crackling off its frame, before it eventually slumped to the ground, deactivated.

As Natsume's aura faded away, she staggered, barely managing to catch herself. "Huff… Huff… That all you got?" She taunted, grinning as she wiped away some sweat.

Miki burst into applause, startling her daughter. "You did it! You cleared the final level!" The proud mother declared.

Sha-Fu nodded proudly. "It is clear that you have been taking your training seriously, young Natsume. Well done! I dare say you are stronger now than your mother is when she was your age. In fact, you may even be stronger than the GekiRangers were at this stage of their training!"

"Does that mean… I'm going to get my own GekiChanger?" Natsume asked hopefully as she mopped away some sweat with a towel, painting from exertion.

Her mother shook her head. "I don't think you're quite ready for that just yet. But keep training, and you'll get there someday!"

Natsume pouted. "But mom, I want to be a GekiRanger now!"

Miki frowned at her daughter. "Young lady, what did we agree on?"

Natsume sighed. "'Don't be consumed by ambition, pride, or impatience and take your training at the proper pace or else you stand a good chance of turning to evil to fulfill your desires and possibly killing your master and fellow students.'"

"I'm quite keen on avoiding that fate," Sha-Fu spoke up. "I'm frankly astonished none of the other kensei or myself were slain during the last clash with the forces of RinJuken and GenJuken. Seems like that's the sort of thing that would've happened at some point near the end."

"I think we can all be grateful that nothing like that has happened yet," Miki said, handing her daughter an energy drink, which she happily guzzled down. "And with any luck, the seven of you will remain to teach future generations for centuries to come."

"Yeah, kind of a shame the technique to become like you guys is the one thing you refuse to teach anyone," Natsume grunted.

"Natsume!" Miki said harshly. "We just talked about this!"

"I'm just saying," Natsume said defensively. "I mean, wouldn't it be better if there were lots of immortal beastmen warriors running around instead of just seven?"

"Not when the danger of using the technique, or the potential harm of the wrong person performing it, comes into consideration," Sha-Fu said gravely. "Remember that both Gou and Bae attempted to perform the technique, and Gou spent years as a werewolf while Bae was reduced to an oversized fly. The risks of performing the forbidden Gekiwaza incorrectly far outweigh the benefits of doing it right."

"Yeah, I guess," Natsume admitted reluctantly. "Still think it would be pretty cool to be an immortal leopard woman, though."

She gasped suddenly, doubling over in pain. Miki's eyes widened in alarm as her tablet started flashing warning signals. "What the… Your vitals are spiking!"

"Ugh… Guess I… Overdid it a little…" Natsume groaned, face scrunched up in discomfort.

"It's worse than that! According to this, you have the Gaming Illness!" Miki cried. She shot her daughter a look. "I thought you got vaccinated!"

"I did! I got it the other day! This must be a new… Strain or something…gah!" Natsume squeezed her eyes shut and cried out in pain as an orange mass formed on her back and burst outwards, shifting and growing as it hit the ground and taking on the form of a black and gray blank-faced robot with a Gashat plugged into the top of its head. It was wearing a red chinstrap-like armor piece, red and gold armor with flame decals on its upper body, and had oversized red metal fists that also had flame decals.

Sha-Fu's eyes, usually closed, widened in surprise. "Well, that's new…" He muttered.

…

"Wait… Is that a Collabos Bugster?" Emu asked in surprise.

"We haven't fought one of those in years," Hiiro remarked.

"We haven't seen one in in this form before," Taiga added. "But something about its armor seems familiar…"

"Wait… It looks kind of like one of my level 50 forms… Hold on, is that Knock Out Fighter plugged into his head?!" Parad cried indignantly.

" _Proto_ Knock Out Fighter, to be precise," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD corrected him. "It seemed fitting. Monster based on a fighting game, spawning from a girl who is a trained fighter, set up to fight a martial arts-based Rider."

"Then it is at last to be my turn?" Satsuki guest.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD nodded as a warp point appeared. "Indeed. And this time, no meddling Bugsters are going to get in the way!"

Parad raised a hand. "Um-"

"No meddling _good-aligned_ Bugsters," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"I guess you're finally up," Mizuki said, holding her girlfriend's hands. "Be safe."

"I shall be," Satsuki promised. She smiled. "I actually look forward to a chance to demonstrate my skill before a celebrated master like Sha-Fu. Maybe he can even give me some pointers!"

"Knock 'em dead, champ," Kiriya encouraged.

"We all believe in you," Emu added.

"Even Hiiro, right?" Taiga asked, glancing at the surgeon.

Hiiro nodded grimly. "I have high expectations for this fight, Satsuki. Do not let me down."

"I shall not," Satsuki promised firmly.

"All right, all right, enough, just get going already," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled in irritation.

"Hold on, does Satsuki actually need to go?" Nico interrupted. "I mean, you just materialized a monster inside the GekiRanger's headquarters. What's to keep them from tearing it apart?"

"The GekiRangers are not currently in residence. They're all out either competing in tournaments, on secret missions, or in training," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said smugly. "You see, I _am_ capable of planning ahead."

"Debatable, but okay… Then what's Ms. Misaki doing?" Nico asked.

"Eh?" Everyone turned to look back at the monitor.

…

"Mom… I don't feel so good…" Natsume moaned, her body flickering and glitching out.

Miki looked down at her daughter, horrified. Then she clenched her hands into fists and glared at the Bugster with a steely gaze. "Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy's going to make everything better," she said calmly as she pulled on a pair of gloved arm guards.

Sha-Fu's eyes widened again, realizing what she was about to do. "Miki… Are you certain?"

"Its very existence is hurting my daughter, Master," she said coldly. "It has to pay."

The felinoid nodded and knelt beside Natsume, putting a paw on her shoulder and concentrating, a golden aura forming around him as he poured energy into the ill girl, causing her flickering to slow down somewhat. "I shall use my power to keep her stable for as long as I can. Show this interloper the results of your training."

Miki nodded and stalked towards the Bugster, giving her daughter a reassuring smile and nod as she passed. "All right, you. I don't know what you thought you were doing, infecting my daughter… But I'm about to show you why that was the biggest mistake you could've possibly made." She held her hands out before her, index fingers and thumbs extended at right angles. **"Tagire! Power of the beast!"**

She spread her arms to her sides, then punched a fist into her palm **. "BEAST ON!"**

She cracked her knuckles, then thrust her right fist forward. Energy ribbons appeared from out of nowhere to wrap around her body, covering her in an outfit of shimmering gold not-spandex with black markings on the sides and shoulders resembling the rings of a Leopard. A feline helmet vaguely resembling the head of a Leopard materialized over her face.

She struck a pose. "A brilliant intellect honed through constant stimulation! Peerless mind! GekiGold! My Geki is proof of justice!" With a bestial snarl, an explosion shaped like a large golden mechanical Leopard erupted behind her, though thankfully it wasn't too close to either Natsume or Sha-Fu.

…

"What?! WHAT?! _WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"_ Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in disbelief. "SINCE WHEN WAS SHE A RANGER?!"

"Wait, you mean she isn't normally?" Asked the surprised Parad.

"I certainly wasn't aware she was one," said the startled Mizuki.

"Nor I. Either this is a recent development, or she's never felt fit to use her powers out in the field like the others," said an amazed Satsuki.

"Understandable. Not everyone is suited for fieldwork," Hiiro acknowledged with a nod.

"Or maybe she just figured she was better off in the lab, building gear for the others," Taiga suggested. "And, apparently, herself."

"So… Does this mean Satsuki doesn't have to go? I mean, it looks like she might not be needed…" Nico murmured as they all watched Miki viciously attack the Bugster, clawing and striking with the speed and ferocity of her animal namesake.

"No! I didn't go to all the trouble of sending out this Bugster just so someone else can defeat it!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "Mizuki, get into that warp point and get over there already!"

Satsuki nodded. "Very well. Mizuki-"

The ninja cut her off with a full kiss on the lips, much to the surprise and delight of the others. "Good luck! And have fun!" She said cheerfully.

Satsuki nodded, bowed to Hiiro, then strode into the warp point, teleporting away.

…

Elsewhen…

"Alcohol… Alcohol… All alcohol must be destroyed!" The monster snarled as it viciously attacked the rows of bottles behind the bar, shards of glass flying and liquor splattering all over the place as the creature smashed bottle after bottle with a twisted G-shaped sommelier knife and ripped each tap out of its setting, the fractured mirror taking up most of the wall displaying a mostly black figure with a gnarled huge red G on its chest, similar Gs wrapped around its bloodshot yellow eyes, and a G and the number 2009 printed on its shoulders.

Catching movement in the mirror, it whirled around to spotted several of the terrified bar patrons making a break for the exit. "All alcohol… _And those who drink it!"_ It roared, vaulting over the counter and lunging towards the nearest fleeing lush, too fat, slow, and drunk to put one foot in front of the other without tripping himself up.

Fortunately, before he could kill the drunk, Geiz appeared from out of nowhere and struck him with his Zikan Zax, flinging the monster back behind the bar and breaking more bottles as well as the mirror. "Go! Get out of here!" Geiz yelled at the drunk, who hurriedly complied.

"What do you think you're doing?! How could you let that monster escape?!" The actual monster demanded furiously as he pulled himself back to his feet.

"The only monster I see is the one right before me," Geiz growled, brandishing his weapon.

"Do you have any idea how many people that man might kill if he gets behind the wheel in his current intoxicated state?" The monster demanded angrily. "People could die… Just like my wife and child!"

Geiz hesitated at this. "Your family was killed by a drunk driver?"

The monster nodded angrily. "Alcohol is a disease that's killing our society, but nobody wants to address it! Hundreds of people are dying every day due to drunk driving accidents or liver failure from drinking too much! And that's not even getting into all the people who destroy their lives due to addiction to drink, and their families and loved ones have to pay the price for it! Oh, and don't even get me _started_ on fetal alcohol syndrome, and the bastards who drink too much and start taking out their frustrations on their families! Destroying all the world's alcohol and those who would imbibe it without consideration for those they're hurting, including themselves, can only have a positive net benefit for mankind!"

"That's… Well, okay, I guess I can sort of see where you're coming from," Geiz admitted. "But if you destroy all the world's alcohol, not only will that put a lot of people involved in the alcohol-producing business out of jobs, will it really change anything? People will just find some other substance to get addicted to. There's no shortage of them."

"Maybe not, but it's still a start," the monster insisted.

"No matter how much alcohol you destroy, or how many alcoholics you'll kill, it won't bring your family back," Geiz continued.

"Actually, it will," said Hora, who was sitting nearby. "We promised him."

"… Oh. Well. Still," Geiz said awkwardly.

Sougo rushed into the establishment. "Geiz, I got the G Ridewatch!" He declared. He tossed it to the other Rider, much to his surprise.

"You're giving this to me?" Geiz asked, startled.

Sougo nodded. "Sure. Any Ridewatch you have is one I can't use against you if I ever turn evil. Also, your name starts with a G, and mine doesn't."

"That's… True," Geiz admitted, baffled by Sougo's logic.

"Geiz," Tsukuyomi hissed into his ear, tugging on his shoulder. "Geiz. You should kill him now."

"What?" He asked, giving her a startled look.

"She's right, my Savior. You should kill him now," agreed White Woz, tugging on his other shoulder.

"Are you two serious?!" Geiz demanded, incredulous. "Don't you think the Another Rider takes priority here?! And Tsukuyomi, how is it that _I'm_ the one who's advocating not killing Sougo when _you_ were the one who used to adamantly defend him and claimed there was no way he could ever become the Demon King and promised you'd stand by him no matter what?!"

"That was before we found out he has the power to shape the future in his dreams!" Tsukuyomi hissed.

"You're such a hypocrite," Geiz snarled.

"Uh, guys, we can talk about killing me or not killing me later, but shouldn't we do something about Another G?" Sougo asked, nodding at the Another Rider, who was sneaking towards the exit.

"Oh, right," Geiz said, shaking off his hangers-on and raising the G Ridewatch.

"Hey, mind if I help?" A hideous monster vaguely resembling a humanoid grasshopper asked, walking over. "It's been a long time since I got a chance to team up with other Riders, and if you let me, I could tag along, be a sidekick, help you out in future fights… Honestly, I'm not picky, ANYTHING's better then sleeping in a cardboard box another night, especially in winter-"

Tsukuyomi screamed and drew her blaster. "It's another Another Rider!" She frowned. "Wait, that doesn't sound quite right… A second Another Rider?"

"And the ugliest one yet!" Geiz cried, recoiling in disgust.

"Hey, that's not nice," the grotesque creature complained. "And I'm not a Another Rider, I'm a regular Rider! Kamen Rider Shin!"

"Yeah, right, like any Rider would be so ugly!" Tsukuyomi said in disbelief.

"Okay, now I'm starting to feel really offended here," the abomination of nature pouted.

"If it's an Another Rider, it's not one I made," said the puzzled Hora. "I don't think the others made it, either."

"That's because I'm not a Another Rider!" Shin protested. "Or is it _an_ Another Rider? What's the proper grammar for this?"

"Sougo, did you have any weird dreams and create future Riders again?" Geiz demanded.

"No!" Sougo protested. "At least, I don't… Think so?"

"Seriously, I'm not an Another Rider!" Shin insisted.

"Nobody believed the clear sign that even God can make mistakes, and Sougo Tokiwa transformed into Zi-O II to destroy the creature," White Woz dictated into his notebook.

"Wait, what?" Shin asked, startled.

"I don't believe you!" Sougo declared, holding up the Zi-O II Ride watch, splitting it in two, and plugging both halves into his Driver, giving it a spin.

 **ZI-O!**

"HENSHIN!"

"Oh, shit!" Shin screamed, realizing where this was going, and rushing for the exit as behind him, a pair of giant watches appeared on either side of Sougo, the katakana for Zi-O flying off of them as rings spun around the Rider, garbing him in the armor of his super form, Zi-O II.

 **RIDER TIME!**

 **KAMEN RIDER! RIDER! ZI-O! ZI-O! ZI-O! II!**

His transformation complete, Sougo rushed outside…

Only to find Shin was nowhere to be found. He thought he heard the sound of a train receding into the distance, but that was odd, they were nowhere near a station. "Huh? Where did he go?"

"My overlord, what are you doing out here? The Another Rider is inside," Black Woz said in confusion, walking over.

"Another Another Rider –-a second Another Rider? Does that sound better? – – Appeared, so I chased after it, but it seems to have vanished," the puzzled Sougo explained.

Woz's eyebrows raised in alarm. "TWO Another Riders at once? This is most irregular and very concerning. The last time there was more than one active at the same time, the timeline was almost destroyed. Which one was it?"

"He said his name was… Shin? But he claimed he wasn't an Another Rider – – or is it _a_ Another Rider? Which is grammatically correct? – – But the actual Shin," Sougo explained. "But there's no way that's possible, he was way too ugly and monstrous to be anything but an Another Rider."

Woz gave Sougo an exasperated look. "… My overlord, did he have a date or the word 'Shin' anywhere on his body?"

"Well. Um. Not as such, no," Sougo admitted.

Woz sighed and put his face in his hands. "My overlord, that was the ACTUAL Shin. He's that ugly due to the horrible genetic experiments he was forced to undergo by an evil organization. He can't help his appearance."

"… Oh. Well, now I feel stupid," Sougo muttered, embarrassed. "I'll apologize the next time I see him." He frowned. "Wish I knew where he went to…"

Meanwhile, on the DenLiner…

"Whew, that was a close one," Shin said as he was seated at a table in one of the time-traveling train's cars. "If you guys hadn't shown up when you did, that might've been it for ol' Shin!"

"You're pretty lucky. It's a good thing we were actually looking for you, or else you might be a goner," Momotaros agreed.

"Luck? Ha! This is probably the first good thing that's happened to me in _decades_!" Shin said with more than a hint of sadness.

"We're hoping we might be able to turn that around," Reiji said, taking the seat across from Shin. "It was no coincidence that we happened upon you. We were actually hoping you could help us with something."

Shin was startled at this. "You… You actually want _me_ to help? Nobody _ever_ wants me to help! I don't even get invited to the reunions or big team ups, I just show up on my own and get shooed off when it's all over!"

"We believe that your unique qualities are ideal for dealing with a certain problem we're facing right now," Reiji explained. "One which threatens the very fabric of space and time, and whom you've already become acquainted with: Sougo Tokiwa."

"That Zi-O kid? I mean, I know he was trying to kill me just a minute ago, but he didn't seem like a bad guy," Shin commented in surprise. "I mean, good Riders try to kill each other all the time due to simple misunderstandings."

"Sougo isn't evil… Now. There is evidence that indicates he may soon become the most feared and despised overlord the world has ever known," Reiji explained. "But even if that does not come to pass, he, his friends, and his enemies are making a terrific mess of the timeline. I've put together a special task force in response to this, gearing up for an operation to neutralize the threat Sougo and his cohorts present to the timestream once and for all, and you may be just what we need to guarantee our success."

"Seriously? Wow," Shin muttered, amazed and more than a little intimidated. "I don't think I've ever been part of something this big before. I mean, yeah, I've help save the world a few times, but I've never been, like, an integral part…"

"I wouldn't be asking this of you if I didn't think you were capable of a job of this magnitude," Reiji explained. "Everyone knows you didn't exactly get a fair shot. Your life was ruined, and any chance you had at justice was taken from you. Your adventure died before it even truly began. This could be your chance to finally make a difference. To be the hero you always should have been. If you agree, we'll provide you with a salary, all the food you can eat, and a permanent berth aboard the time train of your choice. What do you say?"

Shin stared at Reijin, stunned. This…this could be what he had been hoping for all these years. A chance at a new life. A new future. A chance to make a difference. To be a hero. To not have to fight rats for scraps of food, beat up hobos in illegal back-alley fights, or sleep in cardboard boxes.

However, there was one pressing question on his mind, something he needed to know before he made a decision as momentous as this. "Is ZO in on this, too?"

"No."

"Great, I hate that guy. I'm in."

…

When Satsuki materialized in the training room of SCRTC, she gave the occupants of the chamber quite a fright. "What the – – who are-" the startled Miki cried, providing the Collabos the opportunity to deliver a powerful right hook to her chin, sending her staggering back.

"Mom!" Natsume cried in horror, her body flickering more, and causing Sha-Fu to tense up and pour more energy into her to keep her stable.

"It's fine, darling, I've had worse," Miki said quickly, shaking her head and raising her fists as she got back into the game. "It was my fault for dropping my guard, even for a second. Who are you?"

"My name is Satsuki Ogimachi," Satsuki introduced herself, bowing her head in apology. "I'm sorry for distracting you. I work for CR, and I'm here to help save your daughter by defeating that Bugster."

"Well, I think I've got this under control," Miki commented, ducking under a powerful swing from the Bugster's left fist and rabbit punching the robot in its ribs, which didn't really work because it was a robot. "But I won't say no to a little help. I'm not going to take any chances with my daughter's life."

Sha-Fu's eyes open. "Ogimachi … You're the heir of the Ogimachi school?"

"You know of me?" Satsuki asked, surprised and more than a little flattered.

The caracal nodded. "I keep tabs on all the up-and-coming martial artists. Especially those whom I have history with. If I recall correctly, your family helped us put down a RinJuken uprising a few centuries ago. And didn't your great-great-grandmother defeat a fist demon? No relation to the kenma, this one was from Mongolia, I believe."

"Indeed," Satsuki confirmed. "The jar she sealed it in is still on display at the family estate."

…

"… A fist demon?" Asked the baffled Taiga.

"A hyper-aggressive monster with very large fists that grows stronger from conflict. Naturally, the way to defeat it is through nonviolent means," Mizuki explained.

"Naturally," Taiga said deadpan.

"So… Is this, like a thing? Every martial arts and ninja clan in Japan has a long history of fighting monsters and stuff?" Parad asked.

"More or less," Mizuki admitted. "Also, the founder of Satsuki's line received fame for punching a Dragon in the heart. No relation to the one my clan serves, of course."

"Speaking of which… You serve a Dragon God, but worship a deity from a different pantheon?" Kiriya questioned.

"Oh, I talked to him about it a while back. He's fine with it," Mizuki said dismissively.

"… Not the sort of thing I'd expect a god to be fine with," said the baffled Emu.

"I certainly wouldn't be," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD agreed.

"You aren't a god," Parad said bluntly.

"Says you!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD retorted childishly.

"Well, it's less that he's fine with it, and more like he doesn't really care one way or the other," Mizuki admitted. "He's less a deity then a living embodiment of universal balance and neutrality who only acts to preserve that balance and tasks his servants, such as my clan, with doing our part to maintain that balance before things get bad enough to warrant his intervention."

Taiga frowned. "Wait… Cosmic Dragon that enforces balance? Something about that sounds familiar…"

Kiriya's eyes widened in alarm. "Wait a second… You work for Daijinryu?!"

"That is correct," the ninja confirmed.

"Who?" Nico asked.

"A more or less omnipotent Dragon God who showed up in the 90s and destroyed most of Tokyo and several other cities around the world, as well as mind controlling hundreds of people to jump off of buildings, because the battle between the Dairangers and Gorma clan threatened to upset the balance of the cosmos and he figured extreme measures were necessary to tell them to cut it out," Kiriya explained. "… Didn't quite work, so eventually he just got fed up and blew up the bad guys. Don't know why he didn't do that in the first place."

"Fruit Jesus!" Nico swore, horrified. "How could he do something like that?!"

Mizuki fidgeted uncomfortably. "My Lord is a being of cosmic neutrality. He is less interested in preserving lives than in maintaining the balance of the universe. If he feels that killing hundreds or thousands of people, or even more, is necessary to preserve the balance, he will do so without a second thought."

"And you work for him?!" Emu asked incredulously.

"He isn't exactly the sort of being you can say no to," Mizuki said wearily. "Which is why ever since then, we've been working overtime to make sure he doesn't have a reason to come back again. We _really_ screwed up during the Dairanger-Gorma conflict. It took _three_ visits from Daijinryu before things settled down, and it shouldn't even have taken one!"

"And… How exactly do you go about doing that?" Parad asked hesitantly. "Making sure he doesn't have a reason to come back, I mean."

"I'm a ninja. How do you _think_ we do it?" Mizuki said flatly.

There was a horrified silence. "Holy shit," Kiriya said after a moment, stunned.

Mizuki flinched. "I… Don't suppose telling you that most of them were very, very bad people who really deserved to die doesn't help?"

"I'm… Not sure it does," Emu confessed.

"Wait, you said 'most.' What about the others?" Taiga asked shrewdly.

"…Daijinryu demands balance," Mizuki said slowly. "Which… Isn't necessarily always threatened by bad people."

There was a long, long silence as they processed this. "And you're okay with this?!" Kiriya demanded of Hiiro.

The surgeon shrugged nonchalantly. "What Mizuki does on her own time is none of my concern."

"But it's like a freaking huge violation of the Hippocratic oath!" Kiriya protested.

"Which we ourselves have violated… How many times?" Hiiro retorted. There was an uncomfortable silence. Nobody felt like replying.

"Hey, wait, how come no ninjas have ever come after me?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded.

"I'm pretty sure you aren't even on this guy's radar," Parad muttered.

"This is an outrage!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted furiously. "I most certainly AM a threat to the balance of the universe! I demand to be taken seriously!"

"Too late for that," Nico snarked.

"So… You mean you DO want to be the target of the wrath of an omnipotent Dragon God?" Taiga asked slowly.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD hesitated. "… Dammit, now I'm feeling horribly conflicted!"

…

"And I'm assuming that you are a Rider now? Most prestigious. Your family must be proud," Sha-Fu assessed.

"Actually, this will be my first time transforming," Satsuki confessed. "I only received the compatibility surgery a little while ago."

"Then let this first battle as a superhero be a most auspicious one!" The caracal said, gesturing dramatically. "Go forth, and show us all the results of your training!"

Satsuki nodded. "I shall. For the honor of my clan, my master, my goddess, and my beloved, I shall not fail."

She strapped on her Gamer Driver, and raised a Gashat.

 **| KNOCK OUT FIGHTER 3! |**

Satsuki went through a kata, making martial arts noises before slamming the Gashat into her Driver. **"Henshin!"**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! THE STRONGEST FIST! ROUND THREE! KNOCK OUT FIGHTER 3! |**

A holographic screen passed over Satsuki, covering her body in a sexy skintight red and gold bodysuit with gold form-fitting armor accentuating her curves resembling a qipao with red accents and flame decals, puffy shoulder armor resembling sleeves, spiked bracelets, and oversized red and gold fists. Instead of sculpted spiky hair like the other Riders, she had a very thick metal queue dangling to her heels, each segment separated by a spiked ring.

She struck a crane stance before stomping on the ground hard enough to crater it, cherry blossoms billowing behind her, even though they were indoors. "I am…Kamen Rider Knockout! Let my fists blaze the path to heaven!"

…

"Ooh, she looks badass!" Nico gushed.

"Magnificent," Mizuki whispered, blushing at just how well her girlfriend's armor emphasized her physique.

"Wait, what's with the hair? That seems kind of impractical," Taiga commented.

Kiriya nodded in agreement. "Yeah, seems like someone could just grab it really easily. Seems like a major weakness."

"Lots of people and strong fighters in games and anime have really long hair," Emu pointed out. "And it never really bothers them."

"Yes, but this isn't a game, it's real life," Taiga pointed out. "… Says the guy who can transform into a Kamen Rider using a videogame and is friends with living video game characters. Right. I guess if it's working on videogame rules, it should be fine."

"Wait, since when is there a Knock Out Fighter 3?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded.

"It's actually going to be released in a few months. I was able to get an advance copy for Satsuki," Hiiro explained.

"I didn't authorize another sequel…" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD growled.

"I'm fairly certain your days of being able to dictate what Genm can and cannot do ended the same time you died," Taiga pointed out.

"Which time?" Kiriya asked.

"… Good question," Taiga admitted.

…

Taking only a moment to revel in how powerful she felt in her new form, Satsuki rushed forwards to aid Miki, who, to be fair, didn't seem as if she much needed it. With the speed of her animal spirit, she bobbed and weaved all over the place, striking with the ferocity of the beast she represented combined with the fury of a mother fighting for her daughter's life. Already she had left several deep scratches in the Bugster's metal hide from her suit's claws, and if the Collabos had eyes, they would probably have been gouged out by now. The mechanical monster hardly seemed to notice the damage, however, and kept fighting, throwing frenzied punches from its oversized fists.

"Get down!" Satsuki yelled, jumping forwards. Miki immediately ducked, and Satsuki shot over her, hitting the Bugster with a flying kick and knocking it off its feet. As it slammed to the floor, Satsuki landed on top of it, wrapping her legs around its waist and unleashing a flurry of punches against its blank face. The Collabos threw a punch at her face, and while she dodged it, she had failed to account for the size of the fist, the blow clipping the side of her head and snapping her head back, ears ringing. Taking advantage of her momentary stunned condition, the Bugster headbutted her and flung her off.

Before the Bugster could take further advantage of Satsuki, Miki tackled the Collabos from the side, knocking it back to the ground and clawing some more at its face. The Bugster slammed both his fists into the sides of her head, dazing her, and pushed itself back to its feet, grabbing her and charging across the room, slamming her into the wall hard enough to crater it. The Bugster drew back a fist to punch her face in…

Only for Satsuki to grab it by the wrist and flip it over her shoulder, slamming into the ground and driving a heel at its head. The Bugster rolled to the side before the blow could hit it, the impact from Satsuki's foot shattering the ground and sending bits of rubble flying everywhere. Miki pounced at the Bugster as it got back up, but it anticipated her movement this time, ducking sideways and driving an elbow into her back, driving her onto the ground. It started stomping on her repeatedly, and Satsuki charged forwards to assist the Sentai, throwing a right hook at the monster's face.

The Bugster dodged the attack, grabbed her by the wrist, and twisted her into an agonizing arm lock, driving one knee repeatedly into her stomach while continuing to keep a foot pressed on Miki's back to keep her pinned to the ground. The leopard Ranger was less than happy about the situation, and with a howl of rage, summoned her Geki, a golden aura blazing around her as she powered herself up exponentially, muscles tensing as she thrust against the Bugster's foot, sending it off balance. Satsuki promptly took advantage of this by driving the heel of her free hand into the Collabos's chin, knocking its head back, twisting her captive arm out of its lock and driving an elbow into its chest, sending it staggering back. Miki shot to her feet, and the two women launched a blistering assault of punches and kicks at the Bugster, moving in almost perfect synchronicity despite this being the first time they had ever met or fought beside each other, their blows either penetrating or going around the Collabos's frantic attempts to block or defend itself, the machine's metal frame trembling and spewing sparks with every consecutive hit.

With a simultaneous kiai, Satsuki and Miki punched the Bugster in the head hard enough to leave impressions of their fists in its blank face, sending it flying back hard enough to slam into the wall next to the poor Robo Tough, cratering it. The robot twitched and sparked before slumping to the ground, head down.

The two warrior women stared at the Collabos for a moment, but it didn't move. "Did that do it?" Miki wondered.

"No, that seemed a little too easy…" Murmured a concerned Satsuki. "Granted, Collabos Bugsters aren't quite as strong as the regular kind, but…"

Natsume coughed, still flickering. "If it were dead, shouldn't it be disintegrating and I'd be feeling better by now?"

Master Sha-Fu nodded. "She's right. I sense this is not over yet."

He was right. With a metallic shriek, the Bugster's head shot up and it surged to its feet. As steam vented from ports all over his body, it crossed its arms across its chest before thrusting them to the sides, several pieces of its armor shattering and falling off, its oversized fists also dropping in mass to a more respectable level. The pieces of discarded metal hit the ground with such force, they formed deep indentations in the floor.

"Hey, that isn't cheap to repair, you know!" Miki complained.

"Weighted armor… It wasn't at full power before!" Satsuki realized.

"Oh my," Sha-Fu murmured, eyes widening in alarm. "Without that armor holding it back, it will be even stronger and faster than before! Keep on your guard, both of you!"

…

"Weighted armor? What is this, Dragon Ball?" Nico complained.

"I'm pretty sure that Dragon Ball isn't the only series that uses that," Parad said, though he didn't sound entirely certain.

"I'm pretty sure we haven't yet reached the point in our lives where something like weighted armor no longer has any relevance," Taiga said.

"Emu, don't you turn into a Super Saiyan?" Parad asked his partner.

"No," Emu said. He paused. "At least… I don't think so?"

"If you work at it, maybe you can become a Super Saiyan God, Blue, or… Whatever new arbitrary final form they've come up with, I've kind of lost track over the years," Kiriya joked.

"I'd rather not, I'd be rather uncomfortable walking around knowing I have the power to destroy planets if I sneeze a little too hard," Emu said in disdain.

"Wonder if that's ever a problem for Kuuga…" Taiga muttered.

…

Miki and Satsuki braced themselves, instantly on guard.

It wasn't enough. They'd expected the Bugster be strong and fast, yes, but they hadn't expected it to abruptly turn towards the fallen Robo Tough, pick it up, and _hurl_ it at them! The two fighters quickly dodged to either side as the training robot blew past them, slamming into the far wall and nearly hitting Sha-Fu and Natsume. "Hey… That nearly hit us…" The Bugster's host moaned.

"Oh dear. Sorry, honey-" Miki began to apologize, only to be cut off when the Collabos crossed the floor in a matter of seconds and threw a punch at her face. The startled Ranger quickly raised her hands to block it, only for the blow to be a feint and the Bugster slammed a knee into her gut, causing her to double over in pain, gasping as she was hurled into the air, slamming into the ceiling and rebounding off onto the ground.

"MOM!" Natsume cried in horror.

The Bugster whirled on Satsuki, but she'd already anticipated Its blow, ducking as its punch went over her head and swept a leg at its feet. The Bugster jumped over her kick, somersaulting over her head and landing behind her, grabbing her queue and yanking it hard, causing her to cry out in pain as her neck was jerked back nearly hard enough to snap it.

…

"Told you it was impractical," Taiga commented as Mizuki gasped in alarm.

…

Satsuki gasped… And then started chuckling, much to the Bugster's confusion. "You really shouldn't have done that."

Abruptly, spikes erupted from the segment of "hair" the robot was holding, causing it to emit an electronic squeal as the sharp points pierced its hand. It tried to let go, but with the spikes bursting through its hand, it was unable to remove it. Before it could try pulling its hand off with its free appendage, Satsuki twitched her head, causing the rest of the braid to flick into the air and wrap itself around the Bugster's wrist, further pinning it in place. Getting back to her feet, she grabbed her hair by the end closest to her and pulled, yanking the Bugster towards her and right into her fist, the blow sending it flying back, only to be jerked short of the wall by the braid, now pulled taut.

…

"I stand corrected," Taiga conceded.

…

Before it could regain its balance, a recovered Miki appeared, crying out as she brought her hand down in a powerful chop on the Bugster's extended arm, smashing through its shoulder joint and causing the entire limb to be ripped out of its socket. The Bugster staggered back, sparks flying from the hole where its arm had used to be. It lunged forwards in retribution, but by now the Ranger knew just how fast it could move, ducking under the blow, wrapping her arms around the machine's chest, and flinging it over her shoulders toward Satsuki.

The martial artist Rider launched herself towards her opponent with a flying kick, but the robot twisted through the air to fly past her instead. This strategy didn't work as well as it might've hoped, however, because with a flick of her head, the thick end of her braid slammed into the robot's body, sending it tumbling out of control and landing on its head.

The Collabos quickly did a one-handed handspring to flip off the ground just before Miki could drive a fist through its faceplate, kicking her in the chin as it did so, and jabbing her repeatedly in the chest before she could recover. Satsuki put her hands on Miki's shoulders from behind and pressed down, pushing her to the ground and allowing her to headbutt the Bugster in the face, further deforming its head. Before it could recover, she sprang over the leopard-themed fighter and launched into a whirlwind kick. The Bugster was able to block her repeated kicks with its single hand, but had not accounted for her queue also being whipped about as she span, the surprisingly heavy length of fake (?) hair slamming into its head again and again, sparks flying from its poor, abused neck joint with each successive blow.

While the robot was busy trying and failing to deflect Satsuki's blows, Miki took advantage of its distraction to hit its ankle with a sliding kick, knocking it off kilter and forcing it to instinctively fling its arm to the side to try and regain its balance. This turned out to be a mistake, as Satsuki brought her heel down in a powerful chop which severed the arm at the shoulder, sparks flying from the joint.

Now armless, the Bugster stumbled backwards as Satsuki and Miki advanced towards it, ready to end the fight. Suddenly, the robot started trembling, turning red as electricity arced around his body. "What the-" Satsuki started.

"Get back! I think it's going to blow!" Miki cried, beating a hasty retreat. Alarmed, Satsuki quickly followed her.

The Collabos shook more and more violently, and did indeed explode… Though perhaps not in the way they expected. In a tremendous blast, a purple aura flared into life around its body. It sides bulged outwards, and suddenly eight arms burst out of its torso, flexing and twitching with disturbing clicking noises. The metal making up its body warped and distorted, reshaping itself into plates of hardened insectoid carapace. The dents in its faceplate popped out, and a spider emblem etched itself into its face as metallic mandibles burst out of its lower chin and spider legs burst out of the sides of its head. Natsume cried out in pain, and the shocked Sha-Fu hurriedly poured more energy into her.

The robot extended its hands, appendages glowing, and a nunchaku, a tonfa, a meteor hammer, a fan, a Dao broadsword, and a katana flew from the wall and into its grasp, while oversized fists formed on its bottom two hands. The robot swiped each weapon through the air, dark aura trailing behind it as it uttered an ominous mechanical growl.

Were this a martial arts TV show or movie, the subtitle "Spider-Fist Collabos" would no doubt have appeared as it finished its transformation.

…

"What the hell? No Collabos Bugster's ever done anything like that before!" Said the startled Taiga.

"And what's with the extra arms? There aren't any Goro knock-offs in the Knock Out Fighter franchise!" Parad protested.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cackled malevolently. "Oh, I think you'll find this is no ordinary Collabos Bugster…"

…

"What the… That's not normal!" Cried the startled Satsuki.

Miki gasped. "No… It can't be… It's using Rinki!"

Shocked, Satsuki whipped her head around to gaze at the other fighter. "Rinki?! Are you sure?"

Miki nodded frantically. "Yes, I'd recognize it anywhere! But how can this be? It's a soulless machine, it shouldn't be able to use any form of ki! Well, except for maybe Mechung Fu, but this clearly isn't that!"

…

"You gonna let her get away with that?" Kiriya asked Parad, raising an eyebrow.

Parad shrugged. "Eh, I'm not sure she's wrong. Collabos Bugster's aren't the same as the rest of us. I'm pretty sure they don't have souls."

"How do you know you have one?" Nico asked.

Parad frowned. "Pretty sure I do."

"I heard once that if you're intelligent enough to ask if you have a soul, you probably have one," Emu said.

"But aren't there lots of monsters intelligent enough to wonder if they have souls that don't have any?" Kiriya countered.

Emu shrugged. "I'm not a philosopher, I just play lots of video games that pretend to know what they're talking about."

"Same. So… What's Rinki?" Nico asked.

"The polar opposite of Geki, the energy used by those who study Juken. While those who use Geki utilize their powers for justice, practitioners of RinJuken use Rinki to oppress and dominate others using the power of fear and the darkness within one's heart," Mizuki explained.

"So… Satsui no Hadou?" Nico guessed.

"Something like that," the ninja confirmed.

…

Natsume moaned again, her flickering increasing. Sha-Fu's eyes widened in alarm, a shocking realization coming to him. "It's Natsume! The Bugster's life force is connected to hers, so it must be draining her Geki, and converting it into Rinki!"

"But that will kill her even faster!" the horrified Miki cried.

"And I fear that I'm not helping matters… By continuing to feed her with my own Geki, I am only providing that robot with more energy to draw from, like continuing to pour water into a bowl with a hole in the bottom which a thirsty creature is drinking from," Sha-Fu lamented. "And yet, if I stop, she will almost certainly die even faster."

"Then we will just have to kill it before it grows too powerful," Satsuki reasoned. "Miki, let's go!"

Miki shot her daughter a worried look, then nodded in agreement. "R-right! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" She crossed her arms over her chest, muscles tensing as she powered up, her Geki blazing to life around her. "I will not allow that monster to harm my daughter any further!"

The women charged towards the monster. With a flick of a wrist, the Collabos sent the fan whizzing towards Satsuki, while hurling the meteor hammer at Miki. Satsuki snatched the fan out of the air and flung it at the chain of the meteor hammer, slicing through it and allowing Miki to grab the ball and what was left of the chain. She whirled the hammer over her head before flinging it at the Bugster like a shot put. The Collabos caught it in its free hands before it could slam into its gut, then swung the weapons in its four other hands at the duo as they reached it. In unison, they caught the blades in one hand, each before they could cut into their sides, deflected the nunchaku and tonfa with their other hands, then launched kicks at its stomach. The Bugster caught their feet in its lower fists and twisted, flinging them painfully away while freeing its swords from their hands and slashing at their sides.

However, Satsuki's braid flashed through the air as she tumbled away, wrapping around the Bugster's neck. The fighting Rider twisted as she hit the ground, yanking on her artificial hair and pulling the robot down with her, aiming a kick at its sternum at the same time as Miki lashed out at its back with her claws.

Miki struck true. Satsuki, on the other hand…

 **MISS**!

"Wh-what?!" Satsuki cried, startled. She tried kicking the Collabos again.

 **MISS!**

 **MISS!**

 **MISS!**

Despite her heel clearly impacting the Bugster _'s_ chest, the words **MISS**! Kept flashing in the air instead of the usual **HIT**! "I don't understand. Why isn't it working?!"

"The machine is veiled in a cloak of Rinki. Attacks that aren't powered by ki cannot penetrate it," Sha-Fu theorized. "That should not be a problem for you, however. I know that the Ogimachi school teaches its students how to utilize ki. Simply call upon yours, and you should be able to inflict damage."

"Um. Small problem with that," Satsuki said, somewhat embarrassed. "I…ah, I haven't finished that part of my training yet."

There was a long silence. Even the Collabos seemed dumbfounded by this revelation. "What do you _mean_ you haven't finished that part of your training yet?!" Miki demanded.

"I'm a nurse, okay?! I'm kind of busy!" Satsuki protested.

"That shouldn't be an excuse to shirk your training!" Sha-Fu snapped.

"Wait, you're a nurse? Aren't you violating the Hippocratic oath by being a fighter, then?" Asked the confused Natsume.

"No more than all my friends and coworkers," Satsuki replied.

…

"… Yeah, she's got us there," Kiriya admitted.

"We aren't very good at doing no harm, are we?" Taiga reflected.

"At least we're not as bad as Mizuki, considering she's a ninja assassin and all," Parad pointed out. Mizuki scowled at him.

…

Sha-Fu sighed wearily. "Unbelievable. Normally I wouldn't do this – – there aren't supposed to be any shortcuts in training – – but desperate times require desperate measures, I suppose. Get over here and I'll see what I can do to help you unlock your ki."

"Right away," Satsuki said, untangling her braid from the Bugster's neck and rushing over, enthusiastic to receive a private lesson from the legendary kensei.

"Wait, what about me? I can't possibly hold this thing off by myself!" Miki protested in alarm as the Collabos focused all its attention on her.

"Then you won't… Be by yourself…" Natsume grunted, groping for her mother's tablet, discarded on the ground nearby. Once she got a hold of it, she dragged it over and inputted a few commands.

A few of the wall panels slid open, and half a dozen new Robo Toughs entered the room, surrounding the Bugster, who regarded them warily. "… Okay, yeah, this should help a little," Miki conceded. "Hopefully long enough for you to do whatever you need to do, Master."

"I hope so, as well," the caracal said gravely. He patted the ground next to him. "Satsuki, kneel."

The fighter knelt on the ground, bowing her head respectfully. "What must I do, Master?"

"You shall see soon enough. Close your eyes," Sha-Fu commanded.

A moment passed. "All right. What now?" Satsuki asked.

"Your eyes don't look closed," said the perplexed feline.

"That's just the way my mask looks. They're closed," Satsuki assured him.

"I shall take your word for it." Sha-Fu extended a hand, burning with Geki, and tapped Satsuki on the forehead. "Now, open them."

Satsuki opened her eyes.

She was no longer kneeling on the floor of the SCRTC dojo. She was standing in a dark void, no longer in her armor. For whatever reason, nothing about this seemed strange to her.

" _What do you see?"_

Facing Satsuki was a door. It looked identical to the door to the apartment she and Mizuki shared. "I see a door."

" _Try to open it."_

Satsuki gripped the doorknob and tried to turn it. It wouldn't open. She thought she could hear faint snarls from behind the door, as if a great many beasts were waiting on the other side. "It _'s_ locked."

" _I suspected as much. Look around. Do you see anything else?"_

Satsuki looked around. Off in the distance, she saw a peach tree, its pink blossoms rustling gently, even though there was no wind in this place. "I see a tree."

" _A tree? Interesting. Go to it."_

Satsuki approached the tree. As she got closer, it became clear that the tree was far, far larger then was first apparent, towering over her and reaching into the heavens, the trunk somehow reminding her of a beautiful woman. And waiting for her beneath the tree… "There's someone here."

" _Who_?"

Mizuki smiled at her. Satsuki smiled back. "The most important person in my life."

" _Go to them_."

Satsuki approached Mizuki. Her beloved hugged her and kissed her full on the lips. Satsuki closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss, a low moan rising in her chest as she melted into her lover's embrace. Finally, when she was nearly out of breath, Mizuki pulled away…

Only she was no longer Mizuki, but a fiercely beautiful woman in pink armor. The goddess Malika smiled at her faithful worshiper and dissolved into peach blossoms, as did the tree.

Satsuki felt a weight in her hand, something that had not been there before. She opened it and saw that she was now holding a key with a peach emblem on the end. "I have a key."

" _You know what to do with it_."

Satsuki turned around to find the door was right behind her. She inserted the key into the lock and turned it, unlocking the door with a sonorous click.

The snarling of beasts grew louder. This did not bother her. She had faced worse.

She turned the knob and opened the door, silver light shining through to illuminate the void.

Satsuki passed through the door…

And opened her eyes to find she was staring into Sha-Fu's. "I understand ki."

"Show me."

Silver aura blazed to life around her, rising to the ceiling and spilling out before crashing back down on her, rippling and shining with vibrant energy.

…

"Wow! That must've been some spirit quest!" Commented an impressed Emu.

Parad nodded. "Yeah, too bad we couldn't see any of it and spent the last few minutes staring at Satsuki sitting there with an old cat touching her forehead."

…

The Collabos Bugster, the broken bodies of the half-dozen Robo Toughs lying about its feet, hesitated just before it could crush Miki's throat, detecting a new threat. It callously threw her to the side, deeming her to no longer be a threat. The Leopard Ranger hit the wall and slumped to the floor, moaning in pain.

"MOM!" Natsume cried, gasping and clutching her chest, now almost completely transparent.

"Natsume… Satsuki… Master… I'm sorry," Miki wheezed, struggling to keep from detransforming. "I kept it occupied for as long as I could… This is my limit."

"Don't worry, Miki," Satsuki said calmly as she stood up, her silver aura crackling around her. "You've done enough. I'll take it from here."

She extended a hand, silver energy collecting in it and solidifying into the form of a Gashat.

…

"Did she just create her own Gashat?!" Asked an astounded Parad.

"OH COME ON!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed in outrage.

"Seriously? You had to have known this was coming, right?" Kiriya pointed out.

"Yes, but I assumed the furry would be the one to give her the Gashat, not that she'd generate it out of thin air!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled in exasperation. "This stretches suspension of disbelief to the breaking point!"

"Emu and I turning into Mario and Luigi and being transported to the mushroom kingdom to fight giant Mario and Luigi ripoffs thanks to the help of Shigeru Miyamoto, who is also a Rider, didn't already?" Parad asked.

"… Fair point," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD conceded.

"I knew she could do it…" Mizuki said softly, smiling as tears of joy run down her cheeks.

"Well done, Satsuki," Hiiro said proudly.

…

Satsuki examined her new power-up, the image on the Gashat showing beastmen fighting under the label "Beast Fist GekiRanger." "It is time for the next round."

 **| BEAST FIST GEKIRANGER! |**

"Henshin."

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! BODY! HEART! TECHNIQUE! GEKIWAZA! BEAST FIST GEKIRANGER! |**

Her silver aura roared around her, coalescing across her body to create a new suit. Her bodysuit was now silver with black stripes, spots, and rings dotting the sides. Her forearms were covered in thick red and black gauntlets with large cyan blades resembling shark fins jutting from the sides. Small black wings resembling those of a bat's grew from her back. A bladed purple tail resembling that of a Wolf's grew from her rear. Her feet were clad in green boots with motifs resembling those of an elephant and a chameleon, one large horn growing from the tip of her chameleon foot, and a pair of tusks jutting from the sides of her elephant foot. Her right shoulder was covered in armor resembling a white rhino head, complete with horn, while blue armor resembling the head of a gazelle, also with horns, covered her left shoulder. Gold armor with a penguin motif covered her chest. Her face, which now had a fanged faceplate, was framed in the jaws of a helmet resembling the jaws of a snarling great cat, with sculpted hair framing it in such a way as to resemble the mane of a lion. She had become Kamen Rider Knockout, Fist Gamer!

…

"So… That's gotta be like, what, the third animal-themed power up today?" Parad asked.

"Fourth, Mizuki got the dinosaur one," Taiga pointed out.

"What? I was counting that one, what other ones were you thinking of?" Asked the confused Bugster.

"Nico's Zyuohger form and Kiriya's Shinkenger one?" Taiga pointed out.

"No, that's a samurai-themed power up," Kiriya argued.

"One with lots of animal motifs," Taiga retorted.

"To be fair, animal motifs are extremely common in Super Sentai, so given we've been getting so many power ups from them today, it stands to reason we'd have a good chance of getting lots of new forms resembling animals," Hiiro pointed out.

"At least it's not yet _another_ redesign of the Hunter Gamer form," Emu said in relief.

"You sure about that? I mean, she's got the wings, the claws, the animal head helmet…" Parad pointed out.

"No, this armor isn't quite as bulky and clearly designed for easy maneuverability and freedom of movement, so that doesn't count," Emu corrected him. "… I think?"

"Whatever it is, it's magnificent," Mizuki said reverently.

…

The Collabos Bugster regarded its new opponent for a moment before crossing its arms, body trembling as its Rinki aura expanded, powering it up further. "Hmmph. Is that supposed to scare me?" Satsuki asked, unimpressed as the dark flames rushed towards her. Without even making a motion, her own silver aura burst outwards, matching and exceeding the robot's in seconds, practically engulfing the Collabos as it effortlessly pushed its Rinki back. "I'm afraid that your time is up."

Emitting an electronic wail, the robot hurled its meteor hammer and fan (having picked up replacements at some point) at her. Satsuki's left-hand shot out faster than the eye could see, grabbing the hammer's ball just before it could smash into her face, while her right-hand flashed through the air, claws extended. The fan was instantly torn to shreds, and Satsuki squeezed the ball lightly, effortlessly crushing it into powder. "Is that all?"

"… So cool," Natsume whispered.

"I thought _I_ was cool," Miki protested.

"You're my mom," Natsume said dismissively, as if that explained everything.

The Collabos let out a metallic roar and charged forwards, weapons swinging. Satsuki took a step forwards…

And suddenly, her claws were buried in the robot's chest. The machine only had a moment to react to this before closing all of its arms around her in a deadly embrace. Her feet came up, digging the horns on her boots into the robot's shins, and pushed off, breaking free from the multi-limbed grip, twirling about as she did so that her shoulder horns, arm blades, and tail blade sliced through the air around her, cutting into the Bugster's chest and arms as she went and sending sparks flying.

The Collabos reeled for only a moment before regaining its balance, swinging both its swords at her neck. Satsuki immediately raised her arms, catching the swords on her shark-fin blades, sparks flying as the edged weapons ground against each other. The Bugster started punching her repeatedly in the gut with its big-fisted lower hands while punching her in the face with its weaponless hands and bashing its nunchaku and tonfas into her cranium repeatedly.

She didn't even flinch. The next time one of the robot's fists flew towards her face, her fanged faceplate suddenly opened up, revealing it to be a set of animalistic jaws, and bit into the hand, sparks and scraps of metal flying. With a twist of her head, she tore the hand from its wrist, shrapnel flying as she crushed the severed extremity in her fangs before spitting what was left into the Collabos' face, knocking its head back. With a snarl, she pushed outwards with her arms, her arm blades slicing through and shattering the swords, then twisted to catch the nunchaku on her gazelle horns, tearing them free from the robot's grasp with a single motion. She then headbutted the Collabos in the face and grabbed the oversized fists punching her in the stomach, crushing them in her overpowered grip and turning them into lumps of useless scrap.

The Bugster ripped its lower arms out of her grip, losing its hands in the process, and staggered back. It opened its remaining hands, glowing as it pointed them towards the weapons rack. The rack rattled, and more weapons began flying towards it…

Only for Satsuki to whirl around, claws, horns, feet and tail flashing through the air as she positioned herself in the path of the weapons, knocking them aside or tearing them apart before they could reach their summoner. "No more weapons! We will settle this with our bare hands!"

Accepting the challenge, the Bugster discarded its remaining tonfa and crossed his arms over its chest, the room trembling as it powered up further. Natsume didn't even have enough breath left at this point to gasp or cry out in pain, the girl almost completely faded away by now. Noticing this, Satsuki realized there was no more time to play around, and she needed to end this decisively. She flipped the lever on her Driver to trigger her finishing move.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ BEAST FIST CRITICAL FURY! }!{**

Her fists ignited, burning so brilliantly they resembled silver stars. The Bugster's fists (or stumps where hands used to be) ignited as well, resembling dark stars. Howling at the top of their lungs (or lack thereof) the two combatants charged towards each other, fists colliding with an impact that shook the room. Punch after punch was thrown, each strike so quick only a blur could be seen, small craters forming in the floor, walls, and ceiling surrounding them from the sheer force of their blows repeatedly canceling each other out. The Bugster's eight limbs churned chaotically, matching Satsuki blow for blow… Which is probably the only reason it hadn't been overwhelmed yet, because her two fists moved so quickly, even with eight arms it was only just barely able to keep up.

But everyone had their limits, be they human or machine. Even the seemingly inexhaustible ki both fighters were drawing upon would run out eventually.

It was just the Collabos' bad luck that its body gave out first.

Cracks started to form on its fists as the repeatedly clashed with Satsuki's, cracks which widened and spread with each successive punch until they zigzagged all the way down its limbs. Steam started venting from the Bugster's body as it systems began overheating from the sheer strain of keeping up this pummel duel for so long. Rivets started popping out of the sides of its arms. Its joints begin to rattle and crackle. And then, with a tremendous crash, all eight limbs shattered simultaneously, explosions ripping them apart piece by piece and mangling the Bugster's body beyond repair.

As the robot staggered backwards, shrieking in anguish, Satsuki's fist shot forth to deliver the final blow…

And froze an inch away from the Bugster's chest. "Miki! You began this fight before I got here, for the sake of your daughter. And for the sake of your daughter, so too should you end this!"

Miki stared at the Rider in disbelief… But only for a moment, before she pulled herself to her feet. "You are correct. It _should_ be me who ends this." She clenched her fist, Geki blazing up around her, and charged towards the Collabos, who was shaking and twitching and seemed like at any moment it would tear itself apart from all the damage it had taken. "For my daughter! Leopard-Fist Gekiwaza: _Pierce-Pierce Palm!"_

Satsuki stepped aside as Miki thrust her glowing palm out, striking the Bugster in the chest. There was a pulse of energy, and then an aura construct resembling a mechanical Leopard ripped out of the robot's back, howling in triumph. As the Collabos roared in defeat, Miki and Satsuki dramatically turned their backs to the Bugster as it fell to its knees and exploded spectacularly.

The proto-Gashat was flung away, only to be snatched out of the air by Satsuki. _Better not leave this behind_ , she thought to herself. _We might need it later._

 **PERFECT!**

In a burst of Geki, Natsume suddenly returned to solidity. She gasped, taking a deep breath, then started coughing raucously, spitting up a little blood. "That… That was not fun…"

Master Sha-Fu sagged upon himself, sighing in relief. "Thank goodness… That was a little close there…"

"NATSUME!" In a flash of gold, Miki canceled her transformation and rushed over to her daughter, hugging her close to her chest. "Oh, Natsume! You're alive!"

"Y-yeah… Thanks to you, mom…" Natsume wheezed. "Nice finishing move there … Think you could let me go before you accomplish what that Bugster started?"

"No!" Miki replied, sobbing in joy.

Natsume groaned. "Moooooooom…"

Satsuki walked over. "That was quite the battle. I'm glad you are both all right. It was… It was an honor…" She staggered, her aura flickering. "What-"

 **| CLICK TO SAVE! |**

Her transformation suddenly canceled and she nearly fell to the ground. Fortunately, Sha-Fu caught her in time. "As I told you, there should be no shortcuts to training," the caracal chided her. "The technique I used allowed you to tap into your ki… But your body was not yet ready for that level of power. You must train yourself even harder to master this new strength, lest it destroy you."

"I see," Satsuki said in understanding, nodding weakly and nearly blacking out from how much her head spun. "Then I suppose this new new form should be used sparingly, until I have properly finished my ki training."

"Indeed. I suggest you rededicate yourself to your training, to prevent anything like this from ever happening again," Sha-Fu instructed her. "No excuses."

"Understood." Some of her strength coming back to her, Satsuki gently shrugged the feline off of her and bowed respectfully. "Master, thank you for helping me. I do not think I could have done this without your help."

"The power always lay within you. I merely helped you find it," Sha-Fu said dismissively.

"Miki, it was an honor to fight beside a warrior such as yourself," Satsuki said, bowing to Miki next. "I hope that we may fight again someday."

"Satsuki, you helped me save my daughter. This is a debt which I can never repay," Miki said seriously. "If you should ever need me, no matter what, I will be there for you."

"Same here," Natsume piped up. "Once I get a little stronger, that is. I owe you big time." She grinned. "Also, you were REALLY cool out there. If I weren't already set on becoming a GekiRanger, I might look into being a Kamen Rider someday."

"Whatever you choose to be, I'm certain you will excel at it," Satsuki assured the girl. "That Bugster was only so strong because of the power it was stealing from you. With strength like that, you are certain to go places."

"Just so long as they're the _right_ places," Miki said, glaring at her daughter.

Natsume rolled her eyes. " _Mom_."

A warp point appeared on the floor nearby. "And that is my way out of here. Again, it was a pleasure meeting all of you," Satsuki said, bowing in farewell.

The other three bowed as well, or as best they could, since two of them were on the floor. "The feeling is mutual," Sha-Fu assured her.

"Oh, and Satsuki?" Miki said, her grin resembling a Leopard's in ferocity. "When you happen to run into the person behind all this… Do save a couple of pieces for my daughter and myself, would you? I think we'd like to have a word with him about what he put us through. And not simply how much he owes us for the damage to the training room."

Satsuki shot her an equally ferocious grin. "I think you'll find that there is a rather long line ahead of you of people waiting to do just that."

And with that, she entered the warp point, and disappeared from SCRTC.

…

Meanwhile, in space…

The thing that came out of the hole was… It was…

Gentaro couldn't describe it. Not simply because he'd never been the best at vocabulary, but because it was _literally_ indescribable. The creature, the thing, it was constantly changing and shifting as he looked at it, each form more horrendous and sanity-breaking than the last.

A colossal armored Titan with massive claws, shoulder-mounted cannons, tentacles, wings of blades and spines, green eyes and a diamond-shaped head, its color shifting from blood red to bone white to pitch black and back again. A cobra big enough to consume planets made completely of black panels covered in black and gold bottles. A mass of boiling blood churning around a gargantuan many-colored cube made up of smaller cubes made up of smaller cubes and so on and so forth. A swarm of man-sized figures clustered together to form a larger whole. A middle-aged human with a hat, colored spectacles, and an easy-going grin that didn't match the look of boundless hatred and malevolence in his eyes. A mouth made of mouths, an eye made of eyes, impossible shapes, alien geometries, colors and light and sound that didn't exist on any spectrum, all this and more besides.

"Nadeshiko," he whispered. "What… What is this…?"

"Evolt," she whispered back.

"… And what _is_ Evolt?"

" _I have no idea._ "

And then the creature spoke, and Gentaro could hear it, not just with his ears, or with his mind, but with every cell in his body, the voice made up of trillions of other voices, all screaming in agony, and still somehow maintaining the tone of a friendly barista about to offer you some coffee that both of you _knew_ was terrible, but you were still going to drink it anyway. **"Well, well, if this isn't quite the welcome wagon!"** The entity said jovially. **"Haven't had this kind of a turnout in quite a while! And let me see here… You're a Space Squad, aren't you? Or Battalion, or Platoon, or Corps… Doesn't matter, you're a Space** _ **Something,**_ **and I don't think I've eaten one of those in… Let me see… A few hundred universes? Has it been that long?"** The abomination chuckled to itself, the sound of shattering worlds in each laugh as the stars around them flickered and a few were snuffed out. **"Well, no matter. Thank you so much for letting me into your universe! As thanks, you get to die first, so you don't get to see what I'm going to do to everything you know and love."**

And the thing reached out towards them with a hand that was a mouth that was a pseudopod that was a tentacle that was a snake-

There was the sound of something unzipping.

 _ **"LOCK OPEN! KIWAMI ARMS! DAI, DAI, DAI, DAI, DAI SHOGUN!"**_

There was a flash, and suddenly the creature recoiled its appendage, howling in pain and fury, a small piece of itself drifting through space before disintegrating. The white horse that had just charged out of the hole that had unzipped in space wheeled around, galloping on nothingness. As it turned to face the horror, the white and silver-armored figure on its back masterfully wielding a sword, his white cape billowing in the cosmic winds, said, "This is my stage. You should not be on it."

Gentaro's eyes widened in amazement. "Kota?!"

Nadeshiko squealed joyfully. "Praise Fruit Jesus… Literally! We're saved!"

Evolt snarled. **"Ugh, you Gaims and your stages… Do you have any idea what you're dealing with, little God? Did the old snake tell you about me?"**

"Sagara told me enough. That you devoured your entire universe, but it wasn't enough for you, so you just moved onto the next in line, and the next, and the next, in a never ending feast of worlds and lives," Kota said angrily.

Evolt laughed, and everyone present experienced brief, excruciatingly painful seizures, and a few stars nearby exploded, killing trillions. **"And did he tell you how many of his worlds I've eaten, whenever I felt in the mood for something vegetarian? How many of your counterparts I've killed?"**

"He told me that you are the most powerful and dangerous opponent I would ever face, and I would be foolish to fight you alone," Kota said gravely.

" **And yet here you are, all alone,"** Evolt jeered.

"I am never alone," Kota declared. "Yuya! The Trifrost!"

There was the bellow of a war horn, and with a tremendous unzipping sound, a gargantuan hole opened in space, though it wasn't even half as large as the one Evolt was emerging from. Through it, the unimaginable splendor of Planet Helheim could be seen, and the Gaimists among Space Squad cried out in joy and clutched their fruit icons, praying fervently.

St. Yuya, the First Martyr, blew another note on his mighty instrument, the Gyallerhorn, and a rainbow road shot out from the otherworldly paradise, an army of horse-shaped Inves galloping out on it, bearing the honored warrior dead of the Kurokage Energar on their backs, led by the Master of Arms Ryoji Hase as legions of Elementary, Berserk, Evolved, and Overlord Inves loped or flew or marched around and behind and above them. The other gods of the Gaimist pantheon appeared as well through smaller dimensional cracks, riding dragons or flying motorcycles or other monstrous steeds, each resplendent in their fruit-themed armor and glowing with divine radiance, the mighty Lord Baron in the lead with his consort Malika at his side, the mighty sword Guronbaryamu raised in the air as he rallied the troops onward. Even Sigurd was there, in the rear, and nobody _ever_ called for him!

"How are they breathing in space?" Wondered a confused Shu.

"Seriously? That's what you're wondering?!" Demanded the incredulous Tammy.

"It's a legitimate question!" The Space Sheriff insisted.

"So… You guys have spent most of your life traveling space, right?" Gai Ikari said slowly on the Gokai Galleon.

"Yeah," a dazed Joe replied.

"Then… This, this isn't anything new for you, right?" Gai asked with a hint of desperation.

"No… No, this is definitely something we've never seen before," said a stunned Luka.

Marvelous sighed. "I'm going to need _such_ a drink after this…"

"EVOLT!" Squawked Navi the robot parrot as she tried to peck the wailing Don to death. Nobody paid attention to him.

"Do you see that? Do you see that, baby?" Umeko cooed to her offspring, pointing at the impossible sight outside. "Mommy's faith isn't stupid after all! And daddy kept making fun of her for believing in fruit-based space gods, but you don't see any of _his_ deities showing up to help out, now do you?"

"Umeko, I never made fun of you for being Gaimist," said the exasperated Sen-Chan.

"Well, you certainly won't now!" she snapped. Her husband sighed.

"Swan, will you marry me?" Doggie asked abruptly.

Everyone stared at him in astonishment. "I'm sorry, what?!" Swan stammered.

"I've been putting this off for far too long. I've wasted so many years not being forthright with my feelings for you, and I don't want to waste any more time. Please, will you marry me?" Doggie begged the scientist.

"Are you… Are you serious?!" Swan shrieked incredulously. "You're asking me _now_? Like _this_? When it looks as if the entire universe might be about to endin a battle amongst gods?!"

"If not now, when else?" Doggie insisted firmly. "At the end of everything, you must hold on to anything you can, love most important of all! I ask again. Swan, will you marry me?"

"… For the love of… You're unbelievable, you know that, Doggie?!" She sighed. "But I suppose I wouldn't have you any other way. Assuming we get out of this alive, then yes, I will marry you."

"FINALLY!" The rest of the Dekarangers yelled in exasperation as Doggie howled in joy.

"… Welp. Fuck it. I'm converting," Retsu announced.

"Might not be the worst idea," Geki agreed faintly.

"This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen," said a stunned Kotaro.

"Truly worthy of a legend," Tsurugi agreed gravely.

"Alright, lucky!" Lucky cheered. "Guys, you're seeing this, too, right? Isn't it amazing?"

"We kind of have our hands full!" Balance shouted as he and the rest of the Kyurangers struggled to restrain the berserk Raptor.

"We could use a little help here!" Hammy agreed, grimacing as one of the gynoid's flailing arms smacked her in the face.

"EVOLT! EVOLT!" Raptor howled, trying to bite off Stinger's tail, which he'd been trying to use to gag her.

There was an unzipping sound. "Hang on, hang on, I'll fix this," an unfamiliar voice said.

An armored figure in yellow and blue stepped out of a hole in space that had not been there a moment ago and approached Raptor. Much to everyone's confusion and disbelief, he tapped her on the head…

And just like that, she sagged in her friends' grip, reverting to normal. "What… What happened?" She asked dazedly.

"Just a little eldritch corruption. Nothing I couldn't fix," the armored figure bragged. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should probably do the same for the rest of your ship…"

"Who are you?" Garu demanded, instantly suspicious as the armored man turned from them and started entering inputs into the main control panel. "What are you doing here?"

"And should we really be just standing here and letting him mess around our bridge without doing anything?" Asked a confused Champ.

"I'll shoot him if nobody else will," Madako offered.

"That won't be necessary," the armored figure said calmly. "I'm not up to anything bad… Anymore. You're not from this universe, so I suppose it's unsurprising you've never heard of me. I'm Ryoma Sengoku, also known as Kamen Rider Duke, god of science and innovation in the Gaimist pantheon. I'm currently fixing the damage Evolt's arrival has done to your ship, as well as all the others in your fleet, so you can get out of here quickly. The battle which is about to happen is one that will be rather inimical to your health and sanity, so it would be best you're far away from here when things _really_ get hot."

"Wait… You want us to run away? We can't do that!" Miki protested.

Garu nodded. "Yeah, now that you fixed our ship, we can fight back!"

Sengoku laughed. "A noble sentiment, but ultimately futile. There's honestly nothing that you or the rest of your squad can do to help us. If anything, you'll just get in the way."

"But-"

"And besides, I'm not giving any of you a choice, your autopilot has been set to take all of you far, far away from here," Sengoku added.

"What about everyone else?" Hammy pressed. "We can't just leave them behind!"

"I see no problem with that," Madako spoke up. They ignored her.

"Oh, I just finished programming all their autopilots to take them away from here as well," Sengoku said cheerfully.

"You were able to do all that from our ship?" Naga asked with a look of discomfort on his face.

"… Partner, what emotion is that supposed to be?" A disturbed Balance asked.

"Surprise?"

"No, you look like you have constipation."

"Oh. Sorry."

Sengoku chuckled. "Oh no, I'm simultaneously on all of the other ships and mecha in your fleet, having more or less the same conversation with all of your comrades. I'm a god, after all. Omnipresence is practically a parlor trick for someone of my talents." He pressed one final button. "And you're locked in. With any luck, you'll never see me again. Pray that you don't, because if you do, then that means things have gone terribly, terribly wrong."

"Is that likely to happen?" Asked a concerned Xiao as the deity headed back for the crack.

Sengoku hesitated. "… You really don't want me to answer that question."

He stepped through the crack, which zipped shut behind him, leaving the Kyurangers (and the rest of Space Squad) more than a little unsettled.

Beneath Gentaro and Nadeshiko's feet, XVII rumbled, the living station's engines igniting. "Hey, what's going on?" Gentaro asked in alarm as they slowly began to move away from Evolt. "Why are we flying away? The bad guy's in the other direction!"

"Some guy in blue and yellow armor just popped in and reprogrammed our autopilot to get us away from here," Groundain reported. "He's locked the controls, we can't change our course!"

"Not like we want to, anyway," Skydain spoke up. "The more distance between us and that thing, the better!"

"No… Kota! Kota, don't do this!" Gentaro cried, trying to catch his friend's attention, realizing he must be behind this.

Kota didn't even look over his shoulder at him. "I'm sorry, Gentaro, but you all have to get out of here. It's not safe."

"Of course it's not safe! That's why we have to stay and fight! We can help you!" Gentaro insisted.

Kota shook his head slightly. "I'm sorry, Gentaro, but this fight is beyond you… It may even be beyond me." He glanced at him then. "If we fall here, then the entire universe may fall soon after. Someone will need to protect Earth and everywhere else from Evolt should the worst happen."

"Can we even do that?" Nadeshiko asked in alarm. "Can we really stop something… Something like that?"

"… I don't know," Kota admitted. "And I hope you never have to find out."

"Kota-" Gentaro protested.

"I'm sorry, Gentaro," Kota said sadly. "But this is how it has to be. Yuya! The Trifrost!"

Once again, St. Yuya blew on his horn. Another gargantuan dimensional crack opened up before the Space Squad fleet, a distant nebula visible on the other side. All the ships and mecha's engines powered up as they headed for the breach.

"Kota! Kota, don't do this!" Gentaro cried as XVII began to accelerate. "Kota! KOTA-"

The fleet passed through the crack, which zipped shut behind them. Kota sighed, and with a small gesture, dimensionally locked down the entire system to make sure Gentaro didn't warp back in or anyone else got in the middle of this by accident, as well as to prevent Evolt from emerging outside this point. "I pray that you will forgive me for this, my friend…" He said softly. "And that we both live long enough to speak of this again."

He raised his sword, pointing at Evolt. "FORWARD!" He bellowed. "FOR THE UNIVERSE!"

The legions of Helheim shouted their battle cries as they charged towards the otherworldly interloper, who began mustering up hordes of his own, smaller projections of himself assimilated from across the countless realities, to meet them. The battle joined, and the war to decide the fate of the universe began.

…

When Satsuki reappeared on the stage, she was immediately tackled by an enthusiastic Mizuki, who kissed her hard on the lips. "That was amazing!" She gushed when she came up for air. "You were so great out there! I'm so proud of you!"

"Indeed. You did a satisfactory job," Hiiro agreed.

"Satisfactory? Really?" Nico asked in disgust.

"Pretty sure that's high praise coming from him," Taiga told her.

"Plus, she didn't nearly die like Mizuki did when it was her turn," Parad added.

"Dude," said an offended Emu. "Not cool."

"To be fair, she got divine blessing from almost dying, and also fought a more visually impressive boss, so I think Mizuki got the most out of her battle," Kiriya postulated.

"Plus, dinosaurs. Automatically makes her cooler," Nico agreed.

"Guys, can we not denigrate Satsuki's accomplishments when she's right in front of us?" Emu hissed.

"I actually had a divine encounter myself," Satsuki spoke up.

"You did?" Mizuki asked, eyes wide. "Was it Lady Minato?"

Satsuki nodded. "Yes. I saw her during my vision quest to unlock my ki."

"Did she say anything to you?" Mizuki demanded.

"No." Satsuki hesitated. "Well. She kissed me."

There was a pause. "Ooooh," Nico, Kiriya, and Parad murmured, eyes wide.

Mizuki stared at Satsuki, a blank look on her face. Finally, she asked, "Was she good?"

Satsuki blushed. "Um. Very. Yes."

"Ooooooh," the peanut gallery murmured again.

Mizuki scowled. "I am insanely jealous."

"Why? She made you her champion!" Satsuki protested.

"Yeah, but she never _kissed_ me!" Mizuki complained.

"Give it time," Kiriya suggested with a lewd grin. "You know how the gods are, after all."

"Isn't their goddess married? Is the Gaimist pantheon into that sort of thing?" Parad asked.

"… Not sure, actually," Kiriya confessed. "I'm actually relatively new to the religion."

"Hiiro? You're sort of the expert on this," Emu asked the surgeon.

Hiiro considered for a moment. "Gaim and the Holy Mother Mai and Lord Baron and Malika are the two primary couples of the pantheon. While there are some rumors that Baron holds a possibly mutual affection for Mai and his eternal rival and brother in arms, it's… Largely apocryphal whether or not their relationship is more than professional."

"So, maybe yes, maybe no," Emu confirmed.

"Basically," Hiiro agreed.

"Not like it stops the fanfic writers," Nico joked. She paused. "Wait, considering they're writing about actual gods, are they in any risk of being smited…smitten…smote? Er, punished for portraying their deities in that way? I mean, historical gods haven't always been that happy about people making up stories about them."

"Well, it hasn't happened to us yet," Satsuki said.

There was a pause. "Wait, what-" Parad started.

"Enough about gods that aren't me already!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "Satsuki, you won. Great job. Now you and your girlfriend get out of the middle the stage already, all your displays of public affection only serve to remind me how nobody loves me, an alarmingly large and ever-increasing number of people want to kill me in horribly painful ways, and I'm all alone."

There was an awkward pause. "… Should… Should we feel sorry for you?" Asked an uncertain Taiga.

"Do you?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD asked hopefully.

Everyone considered this for a moment. "Not really, no," Kiriya said finally.

"Yeah, you're kind of a complete douche," Nico agreed.

"All the suffering that has been inflicted on you is more or less your own doing," Hiiro agreed.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sighed. "I hate every single one of you." _Just a little longer_ , he thought to himself, glancing at the display on his podium. _I almost have enough data. One more fight should settle it. And then… Then I'll make them all pay…_

"I think we've had more than enough Super Sentai questions," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said out loud, gesturing to the monitor. "So, with this one, it's back to a more familiar subject matter."

 **Which of the following Riders has the most potential form combinations?**

 **A. W**

 **B. OOO**

 **C. Build**

…

 **Whew! That was a long one! I hope the battle portion of the chapter satisfied. Like I said, I don't really know jack about martial arts, so I hope my clumsy attempts to write a battle were entertaining enough for all of you. Also, I didn't expect some of the subplots to take up as much of the chapter as they did, but hopefully those were entertaining as well.**

 **We're getting close (in a manner of speaking) to the end of the story. Thank you for sticking with me for as long as you have so far.**


	30. Question 27

I have a confession to make: this is another chapter where the answer I ultimately chose isn't the one I originally thought was the right answer. I thought it was something else, but all of you presented your answers with good enough logic that I was forced to concede and admit that I may have been in the wrong. Thanks for keeping me from making a mistake, since what kind of good quizmaster doesn't know the answers to his own riddles?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Ooh… This is going to be a tough one," Kiriya commented with a wince.

Taiga groaned. "We're going to have to do a lot of math, aren't we?"

"Why? What does he mean by combinations?" Asked the confused Nico.

"W, OOO, and Build are all Riders that transform by mixing and matching a number of different items to achieve different configurations," Hiiro explained. "While there are several combinations which are a natural fit for each other, they can still swap out one piece for another to create hundreds if not thousands of different possible forms."

"Except for W," Emu spoke up. "They only have roughly a dozen possible forms due to a small selection of Gaia Memories. OOO and Build, however, each possess a wide array of interchangeable Medals and Full Bottles, granting them access to a much larger selection of forms."

"… How many are we talking about, here?" Nico asked uneasily.

"OOO uses three medals per form – – one for his head, one for his body, and one for his legs – – and has… I want to say about eight or nine of each?" Kiriya asked with a frown.

"Something like that, yes," Satsuki agreed with a nod.

"I thought that there were more," Taiga expressed in puzzlement.

"No, the Kougami foundation is working on new ones, but they aren't quite ready yet, and may not be for several more years," Hiiro explained to him.

"While Build has a total of 60 bottles, but can only use two at a time," Parad added. "And they can't just be any two bottles, one has to be based on something biotic, and the other abiotic. And if you throw in some of the extra or special bottles that he has into the mix, he has… Over 1OOO potential forms."

"… Fruit Jesus," Nico swore in disbelief.

"You're forgetting the Hazard Trigger," Emu spoke up. "Which virtually doubles the number of combinations that he can produce."

Taiga frowned. "Does that really count, though? It's basically most of his previous forms, only in black. And I thought it was only limited to his Best Match forms?"

"It's _intended_ for his Best Match forms, but that doesn't mean it's limited to them," Emu explained. "And yes, I think they count as additional combinations, since you're basically adding a new power-up item into the mix, the Hazard Trigger."

"With or without the Trigger, it still looks as if Build has the larger number of combinations," Hiiro concluded.

"Huh. For some reason, I really thought it would've been OOO," Taiga commented, scratching his head in confusion.

"Nope, it's Build," Emu confirmed. "And given Sento, it wouldn't surprise me if he's come up with even more new forms and combinations over the last few years in the never ending battle for love and peace. He's a smart guy like that. Wonder what he's up to now…"

…

Elsewhere…

Sento sneezed abruptly, quickly wiping his nose as he sent off yet another email to a colleague. His partner Ryuga, bored out of his skull, groaned from where he lay on the nearby futon. "Sento, is this really necessary? You don't think you're overreacting just a little bit?"

"No, Banjou," Sento said firmly as he started typing up another email. "I can sense a disturbance in the Giga Brainwave… A great evil is plotting something that threatens the minds of everyone on Earth. We're going to need the most intelligent people around to stop it."

Ryuga raised an eyebrow. "More intelligent than you?"

"Of course not," Sento scoffed. "But nearly as!"

Ryuga rolled his eyes. "I still think you're blowing this out of proportion."

"Someone, somewhere claimed that they are smarter than I am! THIS CANNOT STAND, BANJOU! IT CAN'T!" Sento declared, dramatically dispatching another email with a flourish of a button press.

Ryuga groaned again.

…

"Anyway, yeah, the answer is Build," Emu told Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Dammit, I could've sworn the answer was OOO, too…"

"Guess not," Parad said with a shrug.

"Maybe someday, but not this instant," said Hiiro.

"Well, this next question I KNOW the answer to, and let's see if you do as well," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped, gesturing at the screen.

 **Chronologically speaking, which of the following can be considered the** _ **true**_ **first Kamen Rider?**

 **A. Kamen Rider 1**

 **B. Kamen Rider Kuuga (original)**

 **C. First Kamen Rider OOO**

 **D. Kamen Rider Hibiki (past)**

…

 **Sorry it took so long to write this, it's been a busy week. Given how difficult the last question was, I hope this next one will give you all a bit less trouble.**


	31. Question 28

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Well, as it just so happens, we DO know the answer to that," Parad said, grinning and folding his arms.

Emu nodded. "Right… It's Kuuga!"

Nico nodded fiercely. "Yeah! Wait, what?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Seriously?! You didn't even take a second to think about it!"

"Well, it's a pretty easy question, with a really obvious answer," Kiriya pointed out.

Taiga nodded. "Seems that after the last few really hard questions, you're losing your game, Kuroto."

"I'm doing no such thing! And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted.

"Wait, I'm confused. I thought that Hongo guy was the first Rider. You know, since you guys kept calling him the first Rider, his name has a one in it…" The confused Nico pointed out.

"No, Hongo is the first _publicly recognized_ Kamen Rider," Taiga corrected her. "There have been Riders fighting for justice long before him."

"Yeah, I guess, but I thought Kuuga came _after_ him," Nico pointed out.

"The _current_ Kuuga, yes," Taiga agreed. "But not the original."

"… Wait, hold on, there's more than one?!" Nico asked, incredulous.

Hiiro nodded. "Indeed. There was one other, a warrior named Riku, who lived during the early days of human civilization. His tribe, the ancestors of modern humans, was threatened by a race of monsters called the Gurongi, and he was chosen by the ancient protectors of humanity to become a hero with the power to defeat the Gurongi and seal them away, until they were freed in the year 2000 and defeated by the current Kuuga."

"As for the others," Satsuki spoke up. "The original OOO was an evil king from the 13th century who tried to become a God by absorbing the medals making up a race of homunculi called the Greeed, but the power was too much for him, and he was turned to stone. The original Hibiki and the rest of the Oni Riders were active since at least before the Sengoku period, and the ones around now are their successors."

Nico's eyes widened in alarm. "Oni… Wait, Hibiki is a demon?!"

Taiga opened his mouth to answer, then hesitated, looking a little uncertain. "… Kind of?"

"Don't worry, he and the other Oni are on our side," Emu assured Nico. "They fight horrible man eating monsters called Makamou."

"Some of them are really big, too, from what I hear," Kiriya commented.

Nico frowned. "… The more I learn about our world, the stranger and more terrifying it becomes. How the heck are ordinary people able to go about their everyday lives with the knowledge that there's like dozens of different types of monsters out there that want to kill them, and the world on the brink of destruction multiple times a year?"

"Confidence that should something bad happen, there's even more heroes around who will put a stop to it?" Emu suggested optimistically.

"That or a strong sense of denial in a desperate attempt to keep themselves from losing their minds at just how fragile and helpless their place in an increasingly hostile and uncaring universe really is," Parad suggested pessimistically.

Emu frowned at his partner. "You don't need to put it like that…"

"Speaking of Makamou," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD spoke up, getting an idea. "You say I'm losing my game? How about this!"

He gestured at the monitor.

 **Which of the following Makamou have the same name as a Yokai from the Yokai Army Corps, but NOT the Kibaoni Army Corps?**

 **A. Bakeneko**

 **B. Tengu**

 **C. Ittanmomen**

 **D. Otoroshi**

 **E. Orochi**

 **F. Rokurokubi**

 **G. Kappa**

 **H. Kamaitachi**

 **Can you solve this question, dear readers? Unlike the last time I asked something like this, there IS an answer. Maybe even more than one. Can you figure it out?**

 **And while we're on the topic of Yokai…**

A young woman in a Shinobi shōzoku was sitting on a rock next to a completely unassuming cave dug into the side of a mountain. She probably could have been mistaken for a regular, albeit extremely beautiful woman with somewhat vulpine features and very dark skin whose very shapely form was only barely contained by her garments, were it not for the large black fox ears growing from the top of her head and the massive shaggy red and black mane almost as large as she was tied in the back with a jade bangle to resemble a fox tail.

Filing her talon-like nails, she didn't look up when a massive robot frog landed on the rocky ground before her, Rentaro Kagura hopping off. "You're late," she said bluntly, blowing on her nails. Her ears twitched. "And you brought company. You're not supposed to bring company."

"These are special circumstances," Rentaro explained as he walked over, nodding at the colossal Orochi looming over them, its eight heads staring down at the Fox-like woman with interest, the three teams of ninja Sentai continuing to flail futilely in its grip.

The girl glanced up at the giant eight headed serpent with the also giant, but much less so fox woman seated on the throne built into the castle on its back, a look of complete disinterest on her lovely features. "You gonna introduce me?"

"Huh? Oh, right," Rentaro said, turning back towards his "guests." "Everyone, this is my… Well, my partner, Yako Tsuki."

"And by partner, he means girlfriend," Yako yelled unhelpfully.

"Yako!" he hissed. "And Yako, these are our ninja senpai, the Kakurangers, Hurricanegers, and Ninningers, as well as the esteemed Yokai Kyuubi no Okami, Neko, and Yamato no Orochi."

"Charmed," Yako said with a yawn.

"Yako! Show a bit more respect!" Rentaro hissed.

"I'm a nogitsune, this _is_ how I show respect," Yako said mischievously, a feral grin on her face.

"A nogitsune? Fascinating… That certainly explains how he seemed to know so much about me and Yokai lore," Kyuubi commented, intrigued.

"And they're a couple! That's so cute!" Neko purred, delighted.

"Wait, a human and a Yokai? That's possible?" Asked the surprised Yousuke.

"It's… Actually a little more common than you might think," Tsuruhime confessed, a little embarrassed.

"I… May have had a dalliance or two back in the day," Jiraiya muttered under his breath.

"I'm actually dating one," Fuuka confessed, much to her family's surprise.

"Wait, what? Since when?" Yakumo demanded.

"It's been going on for a few years now. I think it's really serious," Fuuka said, blushing under her helmet.

"Why didn't you tell us this sooner?" An upset Nagi asked.

Fuuka rolled her eyes. "Because I knew you guys would react like this! Fruit Jesus! And besides, if my idiot brother can somehow neglect to tell us that he got married and had a kid on the way, I see no reason I can't tell you about something like this if I don't feel like it!"

"Wait, I got married?" Takaharu asked in surprise. Everyone stared at him in stunned disbelief.

Kyuubi and Neko hopped off of Orochi's throne, the giant kitsune shrinking back to human size before they landed in front of Rentaro and Yako. "So, _this_ is the back door to the underworld?" Kyuubi asked, a little skeptical. "It doesn't exactly look like one… Which, come to think of it, makes it that much more likely it _is_ a backdoor. Wouldn't want to make it too obvious, after all…"

"Although really, who would even come out here to look for it, anyway?" Neko wondered. "We're pretty far off the beaten path." She frowned. "I'm not entirely certain we're even in Japan, or _Earth_ , anymore…"

Yako shot a look at Rentaro. "Wait, you're going to let them use the back door? Rentaro, you know we aren't supposed to let ANYONE use it, let alone know it exists!"

"If I didn't tell them about it, they were going to kill the ninja Sentai," Rentaro informed her.

She elegantly raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And then they were going to break open the Seal Door and unleash an unstoppable horde of Yokai and evil spirits onto an unsuspecting and defenseless world," the ninja Rider added.

Yako's second eyebrow rose to match the first and she started an astonished look at Kyuubi and Neko. "Wait, seriously? The heck is on the other side you want badly enough to risk doing _that_?!"

"Our family," Kyuubi said bluntly.

Yako paused. "… Okay, yeah, I could see that. Even so… Rentaro, you know we aren't supposed to…"

"I already gave my word to help them," Rentaro informed her. "I take full responsibility for whatever comes of this."

"Yeah, you better…" Yako grumbled. She frowned at the other two Yokai, taking in the mask of brittle confidence hiding Kyuubi's clear desperation and the pleading look in Neko's eyes, beginning to well up with tears. Yako sighed, and then shrugged with feigned casualness, a carefree expression on her face. "Oh well, if you promised them, then I suppose it can't be helped." She bowed gracefully to the two Yokai. "Miladies, it would be our honor to help reunite you with your family."

"Without killing them," Rentaro qualified.

"What? Seriously? Ugh, fine, take the fun out of everything, why don't you…" Yako grumbled, half-jokingly, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms across her ample chest with a fake pout.

Kyuubi chuckled. "What a delightful young fox. I do think I like you, little one."

"You know, I'm a lot older than I look," the nogitsune complained.

"I rather doubt you're even a fraction of my age," Kyuubi boasted.

"Oh, so you're admitting you're an old lady, then?" Yako asked with a grin, showing fangs.

There was a pause. Kyuubi's eye twitched. Neko seem to be having trouble holding back laughter, while Rentaro facepalmed. "Are you _trying_ to get yourself killed?!"

"Nogitsune," she replied, sticking out her tongue at him. "Can't help it." Rentaro groaned.

"You have to admit, Kyuubi, that was a good one," Neko snickered, elbowing her mate.

"I shall do no such thing," the elder fox said haughtily, though there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. She sobered quickly, glancing at the cave. "Rentaro, Yako… Thank you, both of you, for doing this for us. I promise you, once this is over, you shall both be rewarded beyond your wildest imaginings."

Rentaro bowed his head humbly. "I'd say that's not necessary, but I'm pretty sure an ancient and powerful Yokai such as yourself would take that as an insult, so I shall simply say: thank you."

"And I'll say: I can imagine quite a lot, so you'll have to work really hard to impress me," Yako commented with a very serious look on her face.

"Yako!" Rentaro hissed, chagrined.

Neko chuckled. "I like her."

"You can't have her, dear, she's already taken," Kyuubi replied in amusement.

The nogitsune licked her lips and eyed the two elder Yokai from top to bottom. She liked what she saw. "I dunno, I might be persuaded-"

"YAKO!" Rentaro screamed, aghast.

"Don't worry, you'd be invited too!" Yako insisted. She glanced at the elders. "He would be invited, right?"

Kyuubi frowned. "Well… Normally, I'm not into humans, especially the male ones…"

"He's going to help us get our family back, he deserves at least that much," Neko pointed out.

"Hmm. A fair point. I shall consider it," Kyuubi said after a moment's thought.

"Sweet!" Yako said enthusiastically.

Rentaro put his face in his hands. "Why do I put up with you?"

"You really want me to remind you why, in public, in front of all these people?" Yako asked with a lascivious grin. "Because I'll do it. You know I will. I have, like, zero shame whatsoever." Turning back to the other Yokai, she stage-whispered, _"I'm not wearing anything under this."_

Neko (and more than a few of the ninjas, much to their embarrassment) were more than a little intrigued by this. Kyuubi shook her head in amusement.

Rentaro groaned. "Let's… Let's just get this over with, please. My ladies, if you please, I would be happy to escort you into the underworld to retrieve your loved ones."

"Only I will be going," Kyuubi spoke up. "Neko will be staying here to make sure our hostages don't use any sneaky ninja tricks to escape."

"I will?" Neko asked in alarm, clearly upset that she couldn't go along with her mate.

"Yes, you will," Kyuubi said firmly. Neko sighed, but nodded in consent.

"There's no need for that. Honest," Luna said desperately.

"Yeah, we promise we won't run away if you let us go. We probably would be too sore from being constricted for so long to try anything, anyway," Nanami agreed quickly.

"I can barely feel my arms," Seikai groaned.

"Really? Because I thought we were going to make a break for it at the first opportunity-" a confused Takaharu began.

"SHUT UP, TAKAHARU!" Everyone shouted.

Yako snickered. "Man, what an idiot."

"You have no idea," said the miserable Fuuka. "Really, you don't."

"Do I really have to stay?" Neko asked, also looking rather unhappy. "I want to see them too…"

"You'll see them once they return to the surface with me and we can be together again," Kyuubi promised, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I need you to remain behind, and keep an eye on our prisoners. If Rentaro returns without me, you are to have Orochi eat him, then the other ninja."

"That really won't be necessary, you already know I'm not going to doublecross you," Rentaro said uneasily.

"Yes, but I'm sure the underworld is a very dangerous place. And I'm certain all sorts of… _Accidents_ could happen," Kyuubi said coolly, regarding the ninja with a somewhat dubious look.

Rentaro sighed. "If it's going to be like that… Yako, could you please stay behind as well, and keep an eye on her? Make sure she doesn't get a little antsy and have Orochi eat them early?"

"I would never!" Neko protested, indignant.

"Yes, but Orochi's and extremely powerful and temperamental Yokai. I'm certain all sorts of… _Accidents_ could happen," Rentaro said coolly, giving her a pointed glare.

"Hmmph. Well played," Kyuubi conceded, mildly impressed.

Neko pouted. So did Yako. "But Rentaro, I want to come too!" She whined. "You know I'm better at navigating down there than you, you're just a human, after all!"

"Yako, while I admit I could use your help down there, you're the only one I can trust to keep things up here under control while I'm gone," Rentaro told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Can you do that for me, please?"

Yako sulked for a moment, but reluctantly nodded. "Oh, fine. But only because it's you asking."

"Kyuubi, what should I do about her?" Neko murmured to her lover, glancing at the nogitsune.

"Leave her be," Kyuubi whispered back. "If I don't make it back, she may still prove useful."

Neko nodded in interesting. "Right, I'll force her to lead me to you and the others, by any means necessary. We've come this far, Kyuubi. I'm not going to let anything stop us from being reunited with our family again. We're so close…"

Kyuubi hugged her and nuzzled the feline Yokai, causing Neko to purr contentedly. "My brave kitten. You've had to be so strong for so long. Don't worry. One way or another, this will all be over soon. And then nothing will EVER tear our family apart again."

She kissed Neko on the lips and turned from her, trying not to linger on how sorrowful the expression on her beloved's face had been as she drew away. Surely Neko knew that this wasn't the last time they would ever see each other… Right? "I'm ready."

Rentaro managed to wrench himself free from Yako, who'd been getting a little too overly affectionate in her farewell and seemed to be trying to take off his armor and her clothes and nodded in the affirmative, steadfastly ignoring the whine of complaint from behind him. "All right then. Let's go to the other side."

Together, ninja and Yokai entered the cave to the world beyond.


	32. Question 29

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Bakeneko and Rokurokubi!" Mizuki exclaimed immediately.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cringed… And blinked when nothing happened. "Oh, right, nothing happens when someone else says the answer-"

"Bakeneko and Rokurokubi," Emu said.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Gah! Should've seen that coming."

"You really should by now," Hiiro agreed.

"Wait, why do these Makamou have the same names as Yokai?" Asked the confused Nico.

"Because many of the Makamou have inspired the myths and legends of Yokai," Taiga explained.

"… But… Didn't the _Yokai_ inspire the myths and legends of Yokai? You know, since Yokai are real?" Nico inquired, even more confused.

Taiga hesitated. "That's… Actually a good point…"

"Oh, and don't forget the Gedoshu, many of them are based off of/inspired stores of Yokai and Obake as well," Kiriya added.

"How that does work?!" Nico asked incredulously.

"Look, there were lots of monsters running around ancient Japan, okay? You can't expect the people back then to have been able to distinguish one species of monster trying to kill them from another," Parad pointed out.

Nico considered this. "So… Most of the old stories and legends were based off of a bunch of different monsters which shared similar traits, but were otherwise unrelated?"

"It makes much sense as anything else," Emu said with a shrug.

"So, which ninja team also fought Orochi?" Kiriya inquired, curious, having noticed the legendary serpent's name on the list of possible answers. "Given the big guy's reputation, it wouldn't surprise me if they ran into him or a creature based off him at some point. Must've been quite the battle!"

"Actually, _no_ ninja Sentai have ever fought Orochi," Mizuki corrected him.

Satsuki nodded. "Yes, only Hibiki has."

"Seriously?" Nico asked, looking surprised. "I mean, it's Orochi! _Orochi_! One of the biggest, baddest, most infamous monsters in Japanese folklore! How could two different teams that fight Yokai _not_ run into him?"

Mizuki shrugged. "I don't know. They just… Haven't."

"Huh. Weird," Parad commented.

"What about the Shinkengers?" Kiriya asked.

"No, they haven't either," Mizuki informed him.

Kiriya frowned. "Huh. Parad _'_ s right, that _is_ weird."

"Think they could beat Orochi if they ever ran into him?" A curious Emu asked Mizuki.

She shrugged. "I don't see why not. They're all veteran ninjas – – or samurai – – with years of victories under their belt. It wouldn't surprise me if they could beat even a foe such as Orochi."

"What, even Takaharu?" Satsuki asked, raising an eyebrow, a coy smile on her face.

Mizuki grimaced. "Yes… Even Takaharu," she replied through gritted teeth.

…

Elsewhere…

CLANG!

CLANG!

CLANG!

"Takaharu-"

CLANG!

CLANG!

"Takaharu!"

CLANG!

CLANG!

CLANG!

"TAKAHARU!"

The red ninja paused, sword raised over his head to strike yet again at the serpentine coils binding him and his family and senpai. "What is it, Fuuka? I was just about to get us out of here!"

The white ninja glared at her brother. "You weren't. You really weren't."

"Yeah, all you're doing is giving us a headache!" Kinji complained.

"My head hurts so much I'd actually welcome Ninjaman turning into a giant and possibly crushing all of us to death rather than hear you hit Orochi's scales with your sword one more time," Jiraiya groaned.

"That wasn't a suggestion," Tsurihime quickly told Ninjaman, before the Extra Ranger could get any ideas.

"Oh, all right," Ninjaman said, sounding somewhat disappointed.

"Come on, you guys! Now is not the time to give up! I just know that if we all work together, we can get out of this!" Takaharu affirmed.

"We can't. We really can't," Kota said deadpan.

"Well, not with that attitude, we can't!" Takaharu snapped in annoyance. "I don't care if the rest of you have given up, I still have hope! I've gotten fired up, and I just know my next blow will finally make a difference!"

He brought his sword down on the serpent's scales…

And it shattered. Takaharu stared at the remnants of his blade in disbelief. He hadn't even scratched the beast's hide.

"You were right," Nanami said brightly after a moment. "It DID make a difference!"

Jiraiya said in relief. "Thank the Three God Generals, maybe now we can get some peace and quiet."

Undeterred, Takaharu started beating the hilt of his sword against Orochi's scales, filling the air with a repetitive dull clunking sound. Everyone groaned. "It would seem not," Yakumo grunted in frustration.

While Takaharu continued making a fool of himself (it wasn't hard), Neko and Yako had retired to one of the balconies on the massive palace growing from Orochi's back, where they were sipping on tea while being waited on hand and foot by Dorodoros. "Man, you got a sweet pad here," Yako commented, nibbling on a cake while a Dorodoros painted her toeclaws and another braided her very long hair. "Sure beats the cave I used to live in. Plus, it's perched on the back of a giant snake! Sure beats most mobile homes!"

Neko giggled as she sipped from her cup, a Dorodoros massaging her shoulders while another fanned her. "Oh, this is nothing, you should see our REAL house! It's much bigger and even more opulent!" She frowned. "Although it's not as easy to move about as this one is. Perhaps I'll talk to Kyuubi about keeping Orochi around instead of sending him back to where he came from after this, the kids would love having him as a pet. We can even give him to them so they have a place of their own, once they get old enough."

Yako chuckled, grabbed a drumstick from a bowl in front of her, and tossed it over the balcony. One of Orochi's heads shot out, snapping it up in its jaws. It licked its lips and hissed at her in appreciation. "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask you… You and Kyuubi… I've heard the stories about the two of you, but I have to ask: how did the two of you hook up? I mean, don't get me wrong, you're clearly an elder and powerful Yokai, but…"

"But nowhere near as old or strong as my mate? Not to mention that she is of a species of elite Yokai, while I'm… Well, not?" Neko finished with an amused smile.

Yako smiled sheepishly. "Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that…"

Neko giggled and held out her teacup to the side. One of the Dorodoros obligingly refilled it. "No, no, it's a fair question. Tell you what, I'll tell you my story if you tell _me_ how you managed to land a Kamen Rider!"

Overhearing, Kasumi perked up at this. "Hey, Takaharu, quit it! This could be interesting!"

Takaharu paused in his increasingly futile efforts to break one of Orochi's scales with what was left of his sword. "What, you think they might let slip something we can use to defeat them?"

"Either that, or tell some juicy gossip," said an eager Fuuka.

"It has to be more interesting than being stuck here doing nothing. I'm game," Yousuke commented.

"It would certainly help to expand our knowledge of Yokai history," Saizou agreed. "Let's listen to what they have to say."

"Which means you need to put away the sword, big brother!" Fuuka shouted at Takaharu, who'd been about to hit the scale again. He sulked, but reluctantly did as she bade.

Yako smiled in fond reminiscence, her eyes staring off in the distance. "Oh, there's not much to it. An old story, one you've probably heard hundreds of times. Once upon a time, a dashing ninja came upon an injured fox cub caught in a hunters trap. When he freed her, she suddenly turned into an incredibly beautiful woman who thanked him for his aid and promised to be his consort for as long as he should live."

Neko gasped in delight. "A classic! Did he ever find out that you set the whole thing up as an excuse to hook up with him?"

Yako put a finger to her lips. "I won't tell if you won't."

They both cackled at that.

"… Wait, she tricked him into becoming her boyfriend?!" Cried an appalled Nagi.

"It's a common and traditional way for Yokai to form a relationship with mortals they've taken an interest in," Ninjaman explained.

"… I, ah, I know from experience," Jiraiya muttered, embarrassed.

"Wait, Fuuka, didn't you say you were dating a Yokai?" Luna recalled, glancing at the white ninja. "Did something like that happen with you?"

Fuuka stared off into the distance. "… I think I'm going to need to have a very long talk with my partner about how we met when we get out of this…" She growled.

"So… Should we tell Rentaro, or-" Ikkou began, only to gasp as Orochi tightened its grip on all of them. "Okay, not our business, we'll stay out of it," he wheezed. Orochi loosened its grip, and all the ninjas sighed in relief.

"But in all honesty, I think Rentaro might suspect it was a setup," Yako admitted. "I _am_ a nogitsune, after all, and he's well aware how much of a trickster my kind are."

"But he's never said anything?" Neko asked, fascinated.

Yako shrugged. "Not that I've noticed. It certainly hasn't affected our relationship in any way I can see. I doubt he minds that much, since at least it's better than being crushed on by his own sister. I mean, she was pretty mortified when she found out who the man behind Shinobi's mask was, but…"

Neko winced sympathetically. "Still a little awkward?"

Yako nodded. "A little, yeah. Still, at least she didn't hook up with that Hattari creep. Did you know that he was trying to sabotage her efforts to win a tournament that would get her a job she and her brother desperately needed just because it was at the same company he worked at, and they forbade interoffice relationships, which meant he couldn't hook up with her? Gods, what a creep."

"What a scumbag," Neko agreed, looking equally disgusted.

"Wait, you don't see anything wrong with tricking a human into falling in love with you, but you think it's wrong when a human tries to sabotage someone else's future just so they could have a shot with them? Isn't that a bit of a double standard?" Shurikenger asked.

Yako waved off his accusations dismissively. "I'm a Yokai. I'm _supposed_ to do that sort of thing. Everyone expects it of me. It's in my nature. Hattari is a human. He has no excuse."

Neko nodded in agreement. "What you heroes often forget is that your own kind can often be just as monstrous as the creatures you fight, if not more so. Something I know all too well from experience…"

Yako's ears perked up at this. "Oh? I sense a painful backstory coming."

Neko sighed. "You would be correct. It's not something I like to talk about, but I did promise to tell you the story of how Kyuubi and I met, so… most of my early years were spent up in the mountains, seducing humans and luring them back to my lair so I could eat them. You know, the usual."

Yako nodded in understanding. "Of course, of course."

"Call that the usual?" Kota muttered.

"For Yokai, I suppose it is," Isshuu reasoned.

"And then one day, I spotted a human I fancied. He was handsome, and I could tell from his attire and entourage that he was wealthy and probably a noble," Neko continued. "I was getting kind of tired of living in a dank cave, so figured that if I played my cards right, I could marry the guy and wind up in the lap of luxury."

"Ah, so what trick did you use?" Yako asked, fascinated. "Fake bandit rescue? Lost damsel? Cat stuck in a hunter's trap?"

"A variation of the classic 'fake monster ambush,'" Neko explained, a proud look on her face. "There was an Oni who lived higher up the mountain, and I got him to help me by promising to have sex with him in exchange for scaring some humans. I was supposed to serve as the bait to lure them in, and then he'd jump out and attack them. He didn't expect me to doublecross him and warn the humans he was coming, and got his head lopped off for it."

"That's terrible!" Cried an alarmed Luna.

"He was a rapist pig who ate one of my cousins," Neko snapped. "I'd been plotting his death for decades. After 'rescuing' me, the lordling kindly took me home with him, and I figured I was all set for the next several decades…

"Until he slapped a sealing charm and enchanted manacles on me, revealed that he'd known from the start I was a Yokai, and told me I was now his property. The next several years were… Not fun."

Yako hissed through her teeth. "Oh boy. How bad we talking here?"

"Let's just say that daily rape and torture was what I could expect from him when he was in a _good_ mood. When he wasn't.…" She stared into her teacup for a long while. "I'm… A very sensual and open-minded Yokai. Much like you, I suspect, there's very little that can't arouse me. But the things he did to me.… I… I took no pleasure in it. At all."

There was a long, painful silence. Finally, her voice uncharacteristically serious, Yako asked, "How long?"

Neko looked away. "Longer… Then I care to remember." She smiled faintly, eyes fixated on the cave to the underworld. "But… One good thing came out of it." She turned back to Yako, her smile growing. "I met Kyuubi."

"She saved you?" Yako guessed.

Neko nodded. "My master intended to tear down a sacred grove under her protection and kill the magical creatures that lived there, many of whom had fled to Kyuubi's side to escape harassment from humans. She gave him one chance to change his mind. He did not, and so she decided to make an… Example of him."

"Good," Yako snarled, fangs gleaming.

"I'm having a hard time feeling sympathy for him," Sasuke confessed.

"People like that actually existed?" Takaharu asked, astounded.

"Unfortunately, many still do," Isshuu said glumly.

"We may be the ones who protect humanity for monsters, but there isn't always a lot we can do against the monsters that already walk amongst us," Tsurihime said soberly.

"Don't we already do that?" Asked the confused Takaharu.

"She's talking about other humans, not monsters that are shape shifted or in disguise," Fuuka explained.

"Oh."

"By the time she was finished, there was nothing left of my master, or his holdings. Kyuubi had destroyed everything and slaughtered every living creature down to the tiniest insect, and guaranteed that nothing would ever grow there again," Neko continued. "I was the only one she spared. I was rather surprised by this, given how indiscriminate she'd been in her slaughter, and had expected to die as well. I had, in fact, welcomed my death, finding it preferable to everything I've suffered over the last several years, or whatever else Kyuubi might do to me, for I knew of her and her power, and feared her nearly as much as I had come to fear my master. Instead, she set me free, and told me that I had suffered enough and could go wherever I wished." Neko smiled fondly. "Naturally, I chose to go with her, a decision I have never regretted since."

"That's so adorable!" Yako gushed, and considering the noises of agreement coming from Orochi's coils, it was clear she wasn't the only one. "Is that when you fell in love with her?"

Neko blushed and glanced away. "It was, yes. She did not feel the same way for me, or at least, not at first. In fact, I never expected her to. After all, I was but a lowly stray from a relatively common tribe of Yokai, while she… She was practically a goddess. And yet, as she and I grew closer over the centuries, she eventually came to return my feelings and asked me to be her wife. Not one of her concubines, although I would've been more than happy to take that role, but as her partner in all things. Naturally, I said yes. It was one of the happiest days of my life."

"That's so romantic!" Fuuka cried.

"For two people like that to find love means there may be hope for the rest of us," Nagi said fondly.

"Who would've thought that something so romantic could come from something so horrible?" Nanami wondered.

"Most romance writers?" Luna pointed out.

"… Yeah, that's true," Nanami admitted.

"We spent many happy centuries together, but eventually realized something was missing," Neko went on, her audience, captive and otherwise, hanging off of every word. "And so we decided to have children. It wasn't exactly easy since we lacked the necessary anatomy, but Kyuubi wasn't a master in sorcery for nothing, and we began attempting to create perfect offspring through magical and alchemical means." Her face fell for a moment. "It wasn't an easy process. We had to kill so many orphans…"

"Wait, what?" Kinji asked, doing a double take.

"But eventually, we finally had our children, our precious, perfect, wonderful girls," Neko purred happily. A Dorodoro handed her a picture. "Here, this is what they look like."

Yako took the picture and gasped, eyes lighting up in joy. "Oh my gosh, they're so cute!"

Neko nodded in agreement as she took back the picture, sniffing as she tried to hold back tears. "The most beautiful children in the world… We were so happy together, just the four of us, until…"

She glanced at the cave to the underworld. So did everyone else, even Orochi. "How did they die?" Yako asked softly.

Neko sniffed again, and a Dorodoro handed her a handkerchief. "Oh, they didn't die," she said as she wiped her tears away. "When Daimaou was freed, he attempted to recruit us in his bid to defeat the Kakurangers and take over the world. We were uninterested, so turned him down. He didn't take no for an answer, so kidnapped our children to try and use them as leverage." She shook her head soberly. "I don't think I've ever seen Kyuubi that _angry_ …"

"Yeah, I'll bet," Yako agreed, nodding fiercely. "What a bastard!"

"Unfortunately, before we could save them, the Kakurangers defeated Daimaou and sealed him and most of the other Yokai away… Including our girls…" Neko said sadly.

"Seriously? Not cool, guys!" Yako yelled angrily at the Kakurangers.

"We had no idea! If they had come to us first, we might've helped!" Sasuke protested.

"Wait, we would have?" Seikai asked.

"Maybe?" Sasuke admitted uncertainly.

"Well, we'll never know now," Jiraiya muttered.

"The days and months after that were some of the worst in our entire existence," Neko continued unhappily. "Kyuubi wanted to kill the Kakurangers for taking our children from us like they'd taken our sisters-"

"Wait, seriously?!" Yako yelled, shooting the Kakurangers another angry look.

"We told you, we didn't know!" Sasuke yelled.

"And in our defense, they were trying to kill us!" Saizou added.

"It's okay, we don't blame them for that," Neko assured Yako. "Kitsune and Bakeneko made their own choice, siding with Daimaou. Anyway, I was able to convince Kyuubi it wouldn't solve anything – – well, after we checked to make sure that killing them would not, in fact, break the seal-"

"Wait, would it?" Asked an alarmed Seikai.

"Given that we are currently alive right now, it would seem that it would not," Tsurihime replied, more than a little shaken to realize just how close she and her team might've been to death over the years.

"And we spent the next few decades desperately trying to find a way to find a way to bring them back," Neko went on. "After years of failing, we eventually found a way to break open the Seal Door, but then the ninjas got in the way, a few hours ago. Kyuubi might've killed them if your mate hadn't shown up just in time and told her about the secret passage to the underworld." She shrugged as her tea was refilled by a servant. "And that brings us up to now."

Yako whistled. "Wow. That's quite a story. Well, you've got nothing to worry about. Rentaro's gonna help Kyuubi find your family and bring them out okay. He's reliable like that. It's why I targeted him in the first place, and why I've stayed with him instead of getting bored and running off to play with someone else. After all, even if there is no God or Buddha, there is always Kamen Rider."

"What about Super Sentai like us?" Kota yelled.

"It's the fault of guys like you that this is even happening in the first place, so shut up," Yako yelled back.

"That seems rather unfair," Kinji complained.

"Yeah, if it's anyone's fault, it's Daimaou's!" Ninjaman agreed.

"Actually I was thinking was your fault, but that too," Kinji agreed. The Kakurangers sighed.

Takaharu sniffed and shook his head. "Wow… The two of you must REALLY love your kids. If I ever have a child, I hope I'll be half as good a parent as you and Kyuubi, Neko."

Neko flashed the red Ninninger a smile. "Thank you, Takaharu. That's very sweet!"

The other Ninningers stared at Takaharu in disbelief. "… Takaharu, you _do_ have a kid," Kasumi said slowly.

"What? No I don't," Takaharu denied in confusion.

"Yes," Yakumo said in growing horror. "Yes, you do. Yoshiharu? Came back in time to keep us and the Zyuohgers from killing each other? Your _son_?"

Takaharu frowned in thought. "Yoshiharu… Yoshiharu… Oh! That's right, I _do_ have a son!" He exclaimed triumphantly. His face fell in horror. "Oh no, I forgot to pick him up from ninja training… A year and a half ago!"

Pretty much everyone would've facefaulted if they weren't trapped in Orochi's coils, but the serpent seemed so astonished by Takaharu's stupidity that several of its heads slammed into the ground. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Everyone shouted at him.

"Gaimdammit, Takaharu! If your son tries to assassinate you for being a shitty father, I'm not going to be the least bit surprised!" Fuuka screamed at her brother.

"Oh come on, that would never happen!" Takaharu said confidently.

…

Elsewhere…

"Mother, are you sure we should be planning to kill father like this?"

"Yoshiharu, sweetie, your father regularly forgets we exist and you nearly died when he left you out in the wilderness because he forgot he was supposed to be training you. Are you really having second thoughts about this?"

"Oh no, I'm fully on board with killing him. I just don't think we need to come up with this complex a plan. I mean, he's an idiot."

"Hmm… That's a good point. You're right, I suppose we could stand to dumb it down a little…"

…

"You sure about that? I thought fratricide ran in the family. You know, what with grandpa Yoshitaka killing his father, and him killing his father, and so on…" Kasumi pointed out.

"Never. Happen," Takaharu repeated firmly.

"I weep for the future of ninjas everywhere," Sasuke said bitterly.

"At least there's Rentaro," Jiraiya pointed out. "And I think that Nishikikoji girl has some potential…"

Several of Orochi's heads suddenly perked up and stared fixedly at the cave. Neko and Yako's ears stood up as well. "They're back!" Yako said eagerly.

Neko's ears and nose twitched. "Yes, and…" Her eyes widened in excitement. "THEY FOUND THEM!"

The feline Yokai enthusiastically leaped from the balcony, landing gracefully on her feet on the ground many meters below and dashing towards the cave entrance, Yako hot on her heels. As they approached, Rentaro stepped out from the cave and into the sunlight, shielding his eyes briefly from the glare and so was completely unprepared when Yako tackled him to the ground started nuzzling him affectionately. He really shouldn't have been caught off guard, considering she did that _every time_.

Following right behind Rentaro was Kyuubi, a tired but overjoyed look on her face. In each of her hands, she was clutching the hand of an adorable little girl, one with long white red-tipped hair, red eyes, fox ears, and six tails, while the other had clear blue eyes, white-tipped red hair, cat ears, and two tails. A third child, very pale with cute little buck teeth, rabbit ears, odangos and braided pigtails almost as big as she was, and a crescent mark on her forehead peeked out nervously from behind the mighty Kitsune, nose and whiskers twitching anxiously.

The faces on the cat and Fox girl lit up in delight when they saw Neko loping towards them on all fours. "Mama! Mama!" They exclaimed, pulling away from Kyuubi – – who was, understandably, a little reluctant to let them go, but ultimately allowed them to run free – – and raced away towards their other parent, who tackled them to the ground, rolling across the earth and kissing and nuzzling and licking them, all three laughing in delight.

"Nyaria, Kyuko, I've missed you so much," Neko purred to her offspring, weeping tears of joy as she clutched them tightly to her chest and rubbed her face in their hair, inhaling their sent to prove to herself that they were really there and this wasn't just another dream. "Now we can finally be a family again…"

There was hardly a dry eye among all present. Even a few of Orochi's heads were openly crying. "It's so beautiful," Yousuke sobbed.

"When I get home, I'm going to hug my son so hard," Nanami vowed.

"This is so sweet. Do I want kids? I think I want kids," said a surprised Kinji.

"I'd be happy to give them to you," Luna said ecstatically.

"Great! Wait, what?" Asked the confused cowboy.

"If I have kids someday, I hope they'll be happy enough to see me to give me a hug like that," Takaharu said with a sniff.

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "Takaharu, we just talked about this!" Yakumo snapped. "You HAVE a son!"

"Oh, right," Takaharu recalled. "Well, the next time he sees me, I hope he gives me a hug like that!"

…

Elsewhere…

"So, what are you going to do when you hug your father?"

"Stab this dagger into his back and twist, twist, TWIST."

"Good boy!"

…

"You did good, Rentaro," Yako said, smiling fondly at the tearjerking reunion as she snuggled up to her boyfriend. "You did good."

"Thank you," the ninja said. "And they aren't the only ones we brought out, right, Kyuubi?"

The kitsune nodded. "Sisters! Come out and say hello!"

Four more Yokai exited the cave, all adults this time. One was a beautiful woman clad in lingerie resembling a giant Fox with nine tails which the Kakurangers immediately recognized as 9-Tailed Kitsune, who had been hired by Daimaou to kidnap children and ransom them for enough money to buy a city for the Yokai of which she dreamt of being the mayor, holding the hand of an absolutely statuesque two-tailed anthropomorphic Tiger who towered over her and had an hourglass embedded in her stomach to complement her hourglass figure and Amazonian physique. Another was a muscle-bound white humanoid feline which the Kakurangers also recognized as Bakeneko, who had run a pet shop that was actually a front for a restaurant where she served children to her Yokai customers, and she was holding the hand of-

"It can't be," Kinji whispered, stunned.

"Hold on a second," said the startled Kasumi. "Is that-"

"KYUEMON IZAYOI?!" All the Ninningers cried in disbelief.

The Ninningers' most infamous and persistent rival grinned ruefully. "Hello again, Igasaki's. It's been a long time…"

…

"Think we'll ever fight an Orochi one day?" Parad wondered hopefully.

"One can only hope," Kiriya said with a wistful smile.

"Is that really something we should be looking forward to?" Taiga questioned.

"Yes, shut up," Nico snapped at him. He sighed.

"Enough with this talk about ninjas and Yokai and Orochi or whatever," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled. "This is supposed to be MY show! And speaking of shows… Run the clip!"

All eyes turned to the big screen.

 _There was a lens flare, and a young man in a white and black jacket wearing a black and white shirt and jeans was lying on the ground, surrounded by several Kamen Riders._

" _Ah, good, he's regaining consciousness!" One of them exclaimed._

" _Oh, he's come about," another said as the boy stirred._

 _As the boy slowly sat up, one of the Riders gently said, "Do not try to rise yet, Dex. How do you feel, young Masked Rider?"_

 _As the young man slowly regained his bearings, he stared at the Riders in astonishment. "Masked Rider Warriors!" He gasped._

" _Your grandfather Lexian sent us," the spokesperson for the Riders explained. "It appears we were just in time!"_

" _Bruticon is more powerful than we imagined, but he can be defeated if we work together!" someone standing just behind the spokesperson said with certainty._

" _I am Masked Rider Warrior Leader, at your service!" The spokesperson, who had a black bodysuit, green armor, silver gloves and boots, and a red scarf declared._

" _I am Warrior Commander!" Said a Rider with a green costume, a red helmet with green eyes, and a V on his belt._

" _I am V3," said a Rider with a gray suit and a large X on his chest._

" _I am Riderman," said a Rider who looked like a red and green lizard._

" _I am Masked Rider X," said a Rider with a helmet with large green eyes, red armor into his gloves, a black bodysuit, and a large S on his chest._

" _I am Amazon!" Roared a green-and-Brown Rider._

" _Strongman, at your service!" Said a Rider with a black and silver costume, swiping his hands through the air._

" _I am Z-Cross!" A warrior in red and silver armor proclaimed._

 _The young man stood up. "Thank you for coming to help me, for my family and for the planet Earth," he said gratefully._

The clip ended, and was replaced by the question:

 **Which of the Riders you just witnessed actually had the right names?**

…

 **Wow, that little subplot divergence took a lot longer than I expected it to. Sorry about that.**

 **And I bet you didn't expect me to reference THIS series, now did you?**


	33. Question 30

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Everyone stared at the monitor, dumbfounded. "What the hell?" Parad asked finally.

"The fuck was that?" Asked an equally disturbed Kiriya.

"Whatever it was, it disturbed me on multiple levels," said an alarmed Hiiro.

Satsuki put her face in her hands. "Masked Rider. You're asking us a question about _Masked Rider_. Just when I thought your depravity could sink no lower, you pull something like this."

"Dude, not cool! This is low, even for you!" Nico cried in disgust.

"There are no lengths I will not go to to achieve my goals!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD declared proudly.

"Is that really something you should be proud of?" Kiriya questioned.

"Wait, Nico, you know what that was about?" Asked the surprised Emu.

Nico made a face. "I wish I didn't. But I was in America for a while, so…"

"What does America have to do with anything?" Asked the confused Taiga.

"Well, that young man was clearly Caucasian, and they were speaking English," Mizuki pointed out.

"But those were Kamen Riders! _Our_ Kamen Riders, and some of the first ones at that! What were they doing giving themselves the wrong names?" Asked the increasingly baffled Parad.

"That is because they are _not_ our Kamen Riders. At least, not exactly," Satsuki explained wearily.

Nico nodded. "Yeah, back in the 90s, the Americans got the bright idea to make a TV show by adapting footage from the adventures of Kamen Rider Black RX. Called it 'Masked Rider.' Used clips from a few of the other Riders around that time as well. Problem is, they did a Gaimdamn terrible job of it, and that scene you just saw – – from the series finale, which didn't really resolve anything – – is one of the biggest sources of mockery for the show among Rider fans, and exemplifies the less than stellar editing which was a frequent problem during the show's run."

Taiga winced. "Ouch. I can't imagine Black RX and the other veteran Riders were happy about it."

"They weren't, especially because the studio never thought to actually _ask_ Minami or the other veteran Riders if it was all right to use their likenesses," Satsuki said darkly. "The resulting lawsuit was less than pretty, and part of the reason the show never got a proper conclusion."

"You have no idea how many people jokingly or not so jokingly asked if I was a 'Mask Rider Warrior' when I was in the states," Nico complained. "It got old really fast."

"I can imagine," Emu said sympathetically.

"Were they even paying attention when they made this thing?! How could they possibly think that a guy with an S on his chest would be called 'X?'" Parad complained. "And Masked Rider Warrior Leader? Warrior Commander? Was that seriously the best they could do?"

"And that certainly was _not_ Amazon," Hiiro agreed.

"Yes, he was most displeased by the mixup," Satsuki acknowledged. "His fellows had to restrain him from going into a berserker fury and tearing the studio apart with his bare hands. A rather fierce fellow, that Amazon."

"We're talking about the classic one, not the one that fights monsters that eat people, right?" Nico asked, just to be clear.

"We are," Taiga confirmed.

"Honestly, it's a miracle they managed to get ZX's name right," commented a disbelieving Emu.

"Actually, they spelled it phonetically, but otherwise it was right," Satsuki pointed out.

"So, ZX is the only one they got right?" Taiga marveled. "Given how badly they mangled the others, that's kind of impressive."

"Well, a stopped clock is right twice a day," Mizuki pointed out.

"What if it's missing a hand?" Kiriya asked.

"Then you need to take it to a shop," Hiiro told him.

"If the clock is stopped, shouldn't you take it to a shop in the first place?" Parad pointed out.

"It's just a saying," Mizuki grumbled, somewhat annoyed.

"I actually know a pretty good clock repair shop called 9 5 DO. I take my microwave there every time it starts acting up," Kiriya spoke up.

"Why do you take your microwave to a clock repair shop?" Asked the confused Taiga.

"The prices are good, and they fix more than clocks there for some reason," Kiriya explained. "I don't know why the owner complains so much, business is business."

…

Meanwhile, at 9 5 DO…

Junichiro Tokiwa stared at the busted DVD player his most recent customer had given him. "How does he expect me to fix this?! This is a shop to repair CLOCKS! Do they not see all the clocks everywhere?! Why does nobody seem to realize that I'm not a general repairman?!"

He sighed in exasperation and started looking up YouTube videos on how to repair a DVD player on his phone. "Well, at least I'm getting paid. Honestly, sometimes I hope my nephew really DOES become King, maybe then he can issue a royal proclamation to keep people from giving me things that aren't clocks to fix."

He paused, then glanced around, realizing Sougo and his other tenants weren't in. "I wonder what they're up to today…"

…

Meanwhile…

Actually, on second thought, let's put a pin on that subject for the time being. Don't worry, we'll peek in on Sougo and the others in a few more paragraphs.

…

"The answer is ZX!" Emu declared, deciding to get back on track.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "I suppose it was a long shot, thinking that one might stump you…"

"Yes, it was," Hiiro agreed. Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled, but there wasn't much bite in it.

Nico frowned, a thought occurring to her. "Hey, guys… Black and Black RX are the same person, right?"

The others nodded. "Yes, Black RX is what Black turned into after being exposed to solar radiation while drifting through space after barely managing to escape from the Crisis Empire," Satsuki confirmed.

Nico frowned, not looking surprised by this answer. "Right, that's what I thought. So… If they're the same person… How come sometimes BOTH of them show up to the same big team up event?"

There was a long pause as everyone considered this. "That's… A good question," Taiga admitted, brow furrowed in thought.

"Maybe it's time travel?" Kiriya suggested.

Parad made a face. "Really?"

"No, hear me out," Kiriya insisted. "I've heard a few times that the DenLiner crew sometimes abuse time travel so that they've got multiple instances of the same person snatched from different points in the timeline when they need to bolster their ranks for a really big fight. Maybe Minami has a pass he can use to go hitch a ride on the train to pick up his past self when he figures he needs some extra muscle for a major battle?"

"… That's actually a surprisingly plausible idea," said a surprised Hiiro.

"And it would provide a possible explanation for how Riders who for one reason or another shouldn't be around anymore happen to turn up for the major events," Satsuki agreed.

"Speaking of the DenLiner crew, shouldn't they be doing something about all those temporal anomalies that we keep hearing about lately? Isn't it their job to deal with stuff like that?" Parad wondered.

"Maybe they're working on it now," Emu suggested.

"Then why hasn't anything happened to fix it yet?" Parad countered.

"Because they're terrible at their jobs?" Hiiro said deadpan.

"That's rather harsh," Kiriya chastised him. He paused. "Not entirely wrong, but still harsh."

"Maybe they have fixed things," Taiga suggested. "I mean, how would we know?"

"Actually, isn't the fact that we still remember that there ARE temporal anomalies a sign that there's still a problem? I mean, if they'd been fixed, we wouldn't remember that there had ever been a problem in the first place, right?" An uncertain Nico speculated.

Taiga frowned. "Does it work like that?"

"Who the hell knows? Time travel makes no sense!" Nico complained, throwing up her hands in exasperation. "Adding it to stories just makes things even more unnecessarily complicated and convoluted than they already are!"

…

Elsewhere…

"Raaah! Grr! Growl!" A hideous monster vaguely resembling a grasshopper snarled as it wildly flailed about, knocking over tables and chairs as it rampaged through an outdoor restaurant, sending diners fleeing in terror while a group of costumed mascots cowered in a corner, hugging each other in terror. The words "Shin" and "1992," were written on his rear end. "I'm an evil monster who hates everything for no reason! Fear me! Roar!"

Sougo, Geiz, Woz, and Tsukuyomi pushed through the crowd of terrified civilians to confront the beast. Sougo's eyes widened in recognition. "Hey, it's that monster from before! The one you said was an actual Rider, Woz!"

"Looks like he was an Another Rider after all," Geiz observed.

"So it would seem," Woz agreed. "Shall we take it out, my overlord?"

Sougo nodded. "Everyone, transform!"

The three Riders pulled out their Drivers…

And suddenly, a blue blur shot past, snatching the transformation devices out of their hands. "Hey!" Geiz cried.

"What in the-" the startled Woz began.

A blue Rider with a barcode motif dangled the stolen Drivers in one hand, shaking his head at the heroes. "Sorry, boys, I can't let you use those."

"Diend!" Geiz snarled furiously, instantly recognizing the infamous interdimensional thief Daiki Kaito from their previous encounter. "What are you doing back here? I thought you'd left our world!"

Kaito chuckled. "I did. Got the treasure I was looking for, so I had no reason to stick around. But let's just say someone made it worth my while to come back here for one last job… Isn't that right, Kadoya?"

There was a shimmer in the air behind Tsukuyomi, and suddenly Tsukasa materialized in his Decade outfit, grabbing the girl from the future and putting his hand over her mouth before she could scream. "Sorry about this, kid. It's nothing personal," he said apologetically.

"TSUKUYOMI!" Geiz roared furiously, taking a step towards Tsukasa, only to jump back with a yelp as Kaito fired a shot from his Neo Diendriver at his feet.

"If you really care about her, I would advise against you taking another step," Kaito warned him, idly twirling his blaster in one hand.

"You…" Geiz snarled, shaking with rage.

Woz frowned. "This is a most unexpected and unwelcome development…"

"Tsukasa! What are you doing?!" Sougo shouted furiously. "Let Tsukuyomi go, NOW!"

Tsukasa cocked his head. "Huh. Impressive command, Your Majesty. I can see why some people are worried you're going to be a king…" He drew his Ride Booker and pointed it at the powerless Riders. "Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to refuse. You see, I'm in a lot of trouble for my various… Indiscretions…"

"That's one way of putting it," Kaito quipped.

"Shut up, Kaito!" Tsukasa snapped. "Anyway, to get out of that trouble, I was forced to cut a deal."

Tsukasa frowned. "A deal? With whom?"

There was the sound of a train horn, and a sleek futuristic bullet train swooped down from the sky and rushed past them before rising back into the heavens, leaving behind several individuals in high tech paramilitary gear and two Kamen Riders. "With me," one of them, a figure in silver and black armor with a large owl emblem on his chest and eyepieces resembling police sirens declared, flashing a badge. "I am Reiji Kurosaki of the G Men, also known as Kamen Rider G Den-O."

"And I'm Ryotaro Nogami, regular Den-O of the DenLiner Police. But you already know that," said the other Rider, his suit a mix of red and white with large yellow eyes on his chest and large red eyepieces extending past the sides of his mask with yellow, purple, and blue parts layered underneath them. "Sorry we have to meet again like this, everyone, but… Well, you're kind of in a lot of trouble…"

"Sougo Tokiwa, Geiz Myokoin, Tsukuyomi, and Woz, you are all under arrest for numerous violations against the laws of time and causing serious damage to the space-time continuum!" Reiji announced.

"Which my friends and I have been working very hard to clean up," Ryotaro added quickly. "Not that I'm blaming you or anything, but my friends have been complaining a lot about it."

"What! We haven't broken any laws!… Have we?" Sougo asked uncertainly.

"We… Might have," Geiz admitted uncomfortably. "After all, when we obtain new Ridewatches, oftentimes the Riders we get them from sort of… Cease to have ever been Riders to begin with…"

Woz scoffed. "Irrelevant! You are the future King of all time and space, my overlord! What are the laws of some petty mortals compared to your regal destiny?"

"Not helping, Woz," Geiz muttered.

"Look, we may have caused some trouble for you, and… Possibly the entire timeline… and I'm sorry for that, but it was for a good cause!" Sougo insisted.

"Yes, your ascension to the throne of time and space!" Woz agreed.

" _Seriously_ not helping," Geiz growled.

"The Time Jackers and Another Riders have been causing far more damage to the space-time continuum than us, and the way we've been doing things is the only way to stop them!" Sougo continued. "At least, I think it is?"

"Yeah, so why aren't you going after THEM instead?" Geiz agreed.

"Oh, don't worry, we're going after them next," Ryotaro assured him.

"And speaking of the Another Rider…" Reiji nodded at his subordinates, who fanned out to surround Another Shin, who snarled and gnashed his teeth and threateningly swiped his claws through the air as they stayed back a safe distance, raising their futuristic weapons. "On my mark…"

"Wait, don't!" Sougo protested.

Reiji ignored him. "FIRE!"

The officers fired…

There was the sound of a tick, the air rippled, and suddenly everything froze in place; the bullets partially emerged from their barrels amidst a blossom of muzzle flash, the cowering mascots still huddled in the corner, Tsukuyomi in the middle of an attempt to break free from Tsukasa, Geiz with an angry look on his face, Woz checking his book to make sure that this wasn't supposed to be happening, and Sougo looking helplessly on, unable to do anything. All of them were motionless, flickering and glitching slightly…

Everyone except for Another Shin. "What? What's going on?" He wondered aloud, looking around in confusion.

There was another tick, and three figures approached him, the Time Jackers Schwartz, Ora, and Heure. "Well, this is certainly an interesting turn of events," the youngest Jacker proclaimed, skipping around cheerfully, tapping a few of the frozen bullets to nudge them out of their trajectory so that they would all hit other G Men once time started again.

"But not one we planned," Schwartz growled deeply, glancing at the frozen tableau with a look of disgust and irritation on his face. "The time police should not be here. Something has gone wrong."

"Has it, though?" Ora pointed out. "If Zi-O and the others get arrested, that means we win. He can't become Oma Zi-O, so whatever Another Rider we choose will become King instead. Just what we wanted, right?"

Schwartz's look of frustration only deepened. None of this was going according to plan. He might be forced to interfere if Sougo didn't manage to find a way to get himself out of this. He needed the boy to remain on his path to kinghood if his true schemes were ever to come to fruition. "Let's just get the Another Rider to safety. You're coming with us," he told the confused Another Shin. "And I'm not giving you a choice."

"Uh, sure thing, mister," Another Shin replied, spooked. Something about this guy really set him on at edge. He clearly wasn't someone to trifle with.

Heure danced around Another Shin, a look of fascinated revulsion on his face, like a child who'd found a dead body and wanted nothing more than to poke at it repeatedly with a stick to see what would happen. "Wow, this sure is an ugly one! You've really outdone yourself this time, Schwartz!"

The eldest Time Jacker shot the boy a puzzled look. "What are you talking about? This isn't one of mine."

"Huh? It's not? Well, it's not one of mine," Heure commented in surprise.

"It's not one of mine, either," Ora spoke up in alarm. "Neither of you made this one?"

"I assumed it was yours," Schwartz replied, a concerned look on his face.

Heure frowned. "Well, if I didn't make him, and neither of you did, then where did he come from?"

Schwartz froze, eyes widening in horrified realization. "… We are being set up."

"Bingo!"

Heure suddenly found himself on the ground, a knee digging painfully into his back, his arms wrenched behind him as Another Shin slapped a pair of high-tech handcuffs on him, flashing a badge at the startled Schwartz and Ora. "Surprise, suckers!" He crowed, spitting out his fake fangs. "I'm not an Another Rider at all, but the REAL Kamen Rider Shin, Shin Kazamatsuri, undercover cop! And all three of you are under arrest for flagrant violations of the laws of time and space!"

"Gah! Get off! This is excessive police brutality!" Heure wailed, struggling to pull himself free. "I'm a minor, you can't do this to me!"

"Sorry, but the laws of space-time don't discriminate when it comes to age," Shin informed him. "You're going straight to Time Juvie! Which is like Time Prison, but for people in your age bracket!"

"Schwartz, we have to get out of here!" Ora cried, panicking. "I can't go to Time Prison! I'll become a time prison bitch!"

"Oh yeah, they'll use you for time currency in there," Shin agreed. "And as for you, big guy, you better be careful or someone will get you with a Time Shiv. A guy like you won't be making many friends on the inside. And whatever you do, don't drop the Time Soap!"

"We won't be going to Time Prison if you can't arrest us," Schwartz snarled, gesturing…

And nothing happened. "Oh? Was that supposed to do something?" Shin taunted.

"What?! You should be frozen in time as well!" Ora protested, startled.

"His badge has been modified with technology that counters time freezes," a familiar voice spoke up, and the Time Jackers whirled around in alarm to see that Reiji and all of the G Men were no longer frozen in place but were pointing their weapons at them. Ryotaro wasn't frozen either, and was running around snatching the frozen bullets out of the air to make sure they wouldn't hurt anyone wants time started up again. "As have all of ours!"

"Impossible! That sort of technology doesn't exist in this time period!" Schwartz protested.

"It doesn't even exist in ours!" Ora agreed.

"No, but it does in ours!"

Five figures in colorful not-spandex dropped down to surround the Time Jackers and Shin, wielding swords resembling clock hands.

Schwartz snarled. "No… Not _them_!"

"Who are you?!" Ora demanded.

The five heroes struck poses.

"TimeRed!" Declared the red one.

"Pink!" Cried the pink one.

"Blue!" announced the blue one.

"Yellow!" exclaimed the yellow one.

"Green!" yelled the green one.

"TimeRanger!" They all shouted, presenting triangular badges. "You're under arrest!"

"Of course…" Schwartz snarled. "You're from the 31st century. Your technology is advanced enough to counter our own power over time."

"That's right," TimeGreen agreed. "And without that advantage, and no Another Riders to call in for help, there's nothing left for you to do but turn yourselves in before this gets any uglier than it already is."

"Schwartz… What do we do?!" Ora demanded, looking at her leader with desperation in her eyes.

"No… No, you're not taking me in!" Schwartz roared. "I won't allow it!"

Without warning, he grabbed Ora and harshly pinned her to his chest, ignoring her squeals of protest as he pulled out an Anotherwatch, holding it to her head. "Nobody move!" He bellowed. "I've got an Anotherwatch and I'm not afraid to use it! One step closer, and I'll turn her into an Another Rider!"

"What?! No!" Ora cried, eyes widening in horror.

"You're bluffing!" TimeYellow accused Schwartz. "She's one of your confederates!"

"I'm not bluffing!" Schwartz growled. "You think she or Heure mean anything to me? They've never been anything more than means to an end!"

"He's not bluffing! He'll do it!" Heure cried, partly out of terror and partly because it really hurt having Shin's knee digging into his back. "He did it to me once!"

"Oh Gaim, I always knew this day was going to come!" Ora moaned. "I'm not the first female Time Jacker, am I?!"

"No, you aren't," Schwartz agreed, squeezing her tighter. "And you won't be the last, if I've got anything to say about it! All of you, stand down if you don't want me to turn her into a monster!"

"So what if you do?" Reiji asked. "We'll just unfreeze Tokiwa, Myokoin, and Woz, and have them defeat her and turn her back to normal, while the rest of us take you in!"

Schwartz flashed his teeth in a sinister grin at them. "Oh, but I'm afraid it's not that simple. This is an Anotherwatch for Kamen Rider Femme, who, if I recall correctly, died horribly just like many other female Riders did… And Ora will suffer the same fate if she's defeated as Another Femme!"

Ora's eyes bulged in horror. "WHAT?!"

"… Dude, that's sick," said a disgusted TimeGreen.

"And sort of crosses the line twice," TimeBlue agreed.

"That's really a thing for female Riders in this time period?" An alarmed TimePink asked Ryotaro and Reiji.

Ryotaro rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Um. Well. Kind of?"

"For whatever reason, the majority of female Kamen Riders tend to be a bit less fortunate then female Sentai," Reiji admitted. "And less common."

"Seriously? That's weird. In the 31st century, that almost never happens," TimeYellow spoke up.

"Yeah, we've got lots of successful female Riders in our time," TimePink agreed. "I guess gender equality hasn't reached that point yet in this century."

"… Wait, if gender equality is better in the 31st century, why is there only one girl on your team?" A confused Ryotaro asked.

There was an awkward pause. "… That's a very good question," TimeBlue admitted.

"I was kind of wondering the same thing myself," TimeRed confessed.

"Hey! Have you forgotten that you're in the middle of a hostage situation here?" An annoyed Schwartz snapped. "All of you stand down and let me walk away, or Ora gets it!"

"Please, do what he says!" Ora sobbed. "I don't want to die!"

"Sorry, but the Time Protection Bureau doesn't negotiate with terrorists," TimePink informed Schwartz harshly.

"Neither do the G men!" Reiji added.

"The DenLiner Police do, sometimes," Ryotaro confessed. Everyone stared at him. "We aren't a very good detective agency…"

Schwartz snarled and activated the Anotherwatch, causing Ora to scream in terror. "Fine! On your heads be it, then!"

He prepared to shove the watch into her chest…

When there was a gunshot, and the watch shattered in his grip, causing him to howl in pain, his hold on Ora loosening. The girl took the opportunity to elbow him in the chest and break free, rushing towards the TimeRangers as Schwartz stared at his mutilated hand, blood dripping from the many pieces of shrapnel embedded in it, in disbelief. "What… How…"

One of the costumed mascots that has been huddling in the corner, seemingly forgotten by everyone, was now standing up, holding a smoking shotgun. "Mind if I defeat you?" The mascot quipped as he pulled off his mask, revealed himself to be Ryutaros. "I can't hear your answer!"

Schwartz's jaw dropped in disbelief as the other mascots stood up, all of them taking off their masks to reveal the rest of the Taros. "You… You had them stationed here in advance…" He whispered incredulously. "And we didn't even notice… You planned for everything, didn't you?"

"Naturally. We wouldn't be good time police otherwise," Reiji said confidently.

"Hey, did you guys hear that? I think he just called us good time police!" Momotaros whispered to the others excitedly.

"I'm not sure he was including us in that sentiment, senpai," Urataros corrected him.

"Don't care, taking the compliment whether it's deserved or not," Momotaros boasted.

"Guys, I think Kintaros is asleep," Teddy remarked, glancing at the other bear Imagin, who hadn't stood up with the others.

"Yeah, he does that," Urataros said dismissively.

"Advent!" Sieg shouted, since he hadn't gotten any lines yet.

"You… You pigs think you're so smart, don't you?" Schwartz snarled, shaking with fury. "But, you aren't the only ones who can plan ahead! Time Mazine!"

Laser fire shot down from the sky, forcing everyone to duck and run for cover as explosions blossomed all over the place. A large high-tech vehicle swooped down from above, and Schwartz quickly jumped into it before anyone could recover. "You'll never take me alive, coppers!" he bragged as he piloted the Time Mazine back into the air towards a waiting time portal.

"He's getting away!" Cried Shin, who had covered Huere's body with his own when the lasers had rained down. Considering how much the boy was complaining about how heavy he was, it was clear the young time criminal was less than appreciative.

"I'll call the DenLiner-" Ryotaro began, only for TimeRed to hold up a hand.

"No need," he said. "I've got this." He pressed a few keys on a device mounted on his wrist. "Come, V-Rex!"

Schwartz cackled maniacally as he approached the portal, certain that he'd made good his escape, and would soon be able to flee into another time period where the police would never find him…

When suddenly the portal, and much of the surrounding sky, _shattered_ as a colossal mechanical T Rex emerged from the timestream, roaring victoriously as it bore down on him. Schwartz screamed in terror as the giant robot snatched up the Time Mazine in its jaws and started shaking it vigorously the moment it landed on the ground, as a dog would a chew toy. Schwartz wailed as sparks flew throughout his cockpit, alarms blaring, and he threw up and soiled himself.

The V-Rex, mightiest mecha in the Time Protection Bureau's arsenal, spat the mangled Time Mazine onto the ground, stomped on it repeatedly, slammed its tail on it, stomped on it some more, then blasted it several times with the massive cannons on its back.

"Don't you think that's a little excessive?" Asked a concerned Ryotaro.

"No," TimeRed replied bluntly.

"He had it coming," Ora spat venomously.

"That he does," TimePink agreed, snapping cuffs on her. "Also, you're under arrest."

Ora looked sourly at her bonds. "Oh, right."

V-Rex stomped its foot onto the smoldering wreckage of the Time Mazine one last time and raised its head, bellowing triumphantly to the heavens. A battered and bloodied Schwartz managed to crawl out of the vehicle's remains, and found himself surrounded by G Men with very large guns. A resigned look on his face, he got on his knees and put his hands behind his head as they moved in to arrest him.

"Another case closed!" Urataros declared proudly.

"We barely did anything," Teddy pointed out.

"Don't care, taking the credit anyway," the turtle said cheerfully.

"Yep. I'd say that for the Time Jackers…" Momotaros whipped out a pair of shades and put them on. " _Time has just run out_."

"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kintaros roared as he suddenly woke up, startling Teddy, and Ryutaros summoned his posse and began dancing as "Won't Get Fooled Again" began playing from an unknown source, much to the confusion of everyone else.

"… Is that normal for your friends?" A disturbed TimeYellow asked Ryotaro.

He nodded. "Oh, yes. In fact, I say they've been behaving unusually well today!"

Everyone stared at him in disbelief. "Once again, I am so, so sorry," Reiji said solemnly, putting a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"Why?" Ryotaro asked.

"The fact that you don't know only makes me sadder," Reiji said, shaking his head in pity.

"Excuse me?" Tsukuyomi, whose own latent powers over time had triggered to unfreeze her several minutes ago and had finally managed to free her mouth from Tsukasa's grip, spoke up. "Are you going to get me out of Kadoya's clutches anytime soon? And unfreeze my friends? And maybe explain _what the hell just happened and what's going to happen to us next?!"_

"Oh, right, I forgot about them," Ryotaro admitted, embarrassed.

"We'll get you out of there in just a minute," Reiji promised the irate woman. "As to what happens next… Well, that depends on what we can get out of this guy," he said, nodding to the furious Schwartz as his subordinates dragged him over. "Because if the Intel we've gathered is anything to go by, he may just be at the root of everything that's been going on with you, your friends, the Time Jackers, the Another Riders, and even Oma Zi-O. We've got a _lot_ of questions for him."

"I'm not telling you anything, pig," Schwartz snarled defiantly.

Reiji chuckled darkly, glancing meaningfully at the Taros. "Oh, we'll see about that, Mr. Swartz. _We shall see_."

…

"Yes, yes, time travel is extremely confusing and makes no sense, we all know this," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled. "Let's move on, shall we? We're not quite through with American Riders just yet…"

 **Which of the following Mirror World Riders doesn't have a Ventaran counterpart?**

 **A. Zolda**

 **B. Gai**

 **C. Verde**

 **D. Ryuga**

 **E. Abyss**

…

 **Been a while since we last checked in on the Zi-O subplot, huh? From this part forward, things are going to have to drastically diverge from canon. That should be fun, right?**


	34. Question 31

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Most of the heroes once again stared at the monitor in confusion. "The heck is a 'Ventaran Rider?'" Kiriya asked.

Nico's eyes lit up in excitement. "Oh! Oh! I know this one, too!"

"Another thing you picked up in America?" Parad joked.

"Actually, yes," Nico replied, surprising him. "Basically, a long time ago, an evil alien named Xaviax tried to conquer another dimension called Ventara. A group of Kamen Riders banded together to defeat him and save their world. Unfortunately, it turned out he wasn't as beaten as they thought, and years later he came back and wiped most of them out in a surprise attack with help from a traitor who didn't want to be a Rider anymore. Only a couple of the Riders managed to escape to Earth, and once Xaviax finished conquering Ventara, he set his sights on our world. He was smart enough to realize that there was no way any of his minions could take out the survivors since Riders ALWAYS beat monsters, so he got the idea to use the gear of the Ventaran Riders to give several humans the ability to become Riders and use his mastery of disguise and deceit to manipulate them into killing the good guys, and helping him take over the world."

"That's actually pretty clever," a surprised Taiga remarked.

"Yeah, you'd think more bad guys would have figured that out by now," Kiriya agreed.

In unison, everyone looked at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. "… What are you all looking at me for?!" He demanded.

"And it almost worked, too," Nico continued. "But one of the human Riders he picked wound up joining forces with one of the Ventaran Riders, and the guy who gave everyone there Rider powers in the first place turned out to have also survived the last battle, brought back the Ventaran Riders, and together they all joined forces to defeat Xaviax once and for all, and save both worlds."

"Good for them," Parad said.

"So… Was this a TV show, or…" A confused Emu began.

"No, this actually happened, but in America," Satsuki spoke up.

"Which is how I know about it," Nico explained. "I bumped into a couple of them while I was over there. Pretty decent guys. Were excited to meet a Rider from Japan."

"It happened in America? Weird. I thought that sort of thing only happened here in Japan," remarked a puzzled Kiriya.

"The world is a vast and strange place. It probably just seems like everything happens in Japan because we live here," Hiiro suggested. "I'm sure lots of other things like what we regularly deal with happen in other countries, but we don't care about them as much because they aren't home."

"… That makes an unfortunate amount of sense," Emu lamented.

"Yeah, the only alternative is that Japan is the only place in the entire world where interesting stuff ever happens," Parad agreed. "Which is silly."

"So… What does this have to do with the Mirror World Riders?" Taiga inquired.

"Oh, the Ventaran Riders have identical suits and powers to the Mirror World ones," Satsuki explained.

"What? How's that possible?" Asked the baffled Emu.

"Because they come from a parallel universe on the other side of the mirror, duh!" Nico snorted, as if it were obvious.

"I thought the mirror world was on the other side of the mirror," Parad pointed out.

"It is. Ventara is on the other side of the mirror world from us," Satsuki elaborated.

"Ohhhh." Parad nodded slowly. "Yeah, okay, that makes sense. So the mirror world's like a buffer space, then. Right."

"So, that means Ventara is an A.R. World?" Kiriya speculated.

"Huh? What's augmented reality have to do with anything?" Asked the confused Nico.

"Not augmented reality. A.R. Worlds are alternate realities from our own, where events similar to ours played out differently," Taiga explained. "The A.R. stands for Another Rider or Alternate Reality."

"So… Yeah, a parallel universe, exactly what I said," Nico retorted, looking a little disgruntled.

"I guess that explains what the question meant by 'counterparts,'" Hiiro reasoned. "It's asking which of the Riders over there is not a parallel to our own."

"So which is it?" Emu asked Nico.

She hesitated. "Uhhhhhhh…" She shot Satsuki a frantic look.

"Abyss," Satsuki said calmly.

"Abyss!" Nico echoed.

"The answer is Abyss!" Emu declared.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. "Seriously, does nothing faze you guys anymore?! This is the fifth question you've answered correctly in a row!"

"Sounds good to me," Emu said.

"How many more questions do we have to answer anyway?" Parad complained.

"As many as necessary!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

"Shouldn't your Rider Gauge have run out by now?" Kiriya asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, are you cheating to keep it from running up completely?" Nico questioned, shooting Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD a dubious look.

"No!" he shouted a little too quickly. From the looks on everyone's faces, nobody believed him.

"Hey, guys," Parad spoke up, struck by a sudden thought. "Ryuki's adventures happened, right?"

Everyone gave him puzzled looks. "Of course they happened," said a perplexed Emu. "Why would you ask that?"

"Actually, they didn't," Hiiro corrected him.

"Huh?"

"Shiro Kanzaki, the man who gave the Mirror World Riders – – including Ryuki – – their powers, eventually gave up after numerous attempts to use the Riders to kill each other in a rigged Rider War so he could wish his sister back to life failed, and made it so that the conflict never happened to begin with," Satsuki explained.

"Oh, like in Sonic the Hedgehog 2006?" Nico realized.

Both Emu and Parad cringed. _"Don't mention that game!"_ They both shouted.

"Honestly, I think the only good thing about that piece of garbage is that it was somehow better then Mighty 2006!" Emu groused.

"Hey!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

"It's true, and you know it!" Parad snapped.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD looked as if he was about to argue, then sagged. "Yeah, I do…"

"Why did you ask about whether or not Ryuki's adventures happened?" Taiga asked Parad.

The friendly Bugster frowned. "Well, if Ryuki's series… Of adventures was retconned out of existence, then how do we remember it happened, and how are Ryuki or the other Mirror World riders able to show up now and then for big events? Heck, Hiiro fought a couple of them that one time, right?"

There was a long pause as everyone considered this. "That's a very good question," Satsuki admitted finally, looking befuddled.

"Time travel?" Kiriya suggested.

Nico groaned. "Again?"

"Does anyone have any better ideas?" The medical examiner argued.

"… Maybe they're A.R. Riders?" Taiga offered. "Like the Ventarans?"

"I think bringing in Riders from other dimensions is just opening another huge can of worms we really don't want to deal with," Emu pointed out wisely.

"Can we blame Decade? I thought that we were supposed to blame Decade whenever things don't make sense, even if they aren't really his fault," Parad inquired.

"I don't see why not," Hiiro said with a shrug.

"Onore, Decade!" Kiriya cried enthusiastically.

"Guys, we can't blame Decade for everything," pointed out an exasperated Emu.

"Watch me," Kiriya retorted.

"Seriously, though, if this is more of that time travel nonsense, whoever's in charge of the timeline needs to be doing a better job, because honestly, they suck at it!" Nico complained.

…

Reiji sneezed. Schwartz, sitting across the table from him in the DenLiner's interrogation room, did not say "Bless you," because he was a very mean person. Sniffing and pretending that hadn't just happened, Reiji folded his hands together and gave the leader of the Time Jackers a steady glare.

"We've received testimony from Tokiwa and his friends and the other Time Jackers," Reiji informed Schwartz. "From everything we've been able to put together, it seems as if you're at the root of just about everything related to Zi-O, his future self's conquest of Earth, and all of these temporal anomalies everyone responsible for maintaining the timeline has been desperately struggling to correct. However, there's still a major piece of the puzzle remaining: who are you, Schwartz? Why are you doing this? What are you getting out of this? What's your endgame?"

Schwartz folded his arms and thrust his chin out stubbornly. "I'm not talking to anyone but my lawyer, pig."

Much to his surprise, Reiji started chuckling darkly, a cold look in his eyes. "Oh, you have no idea how much I was hoping you'd say that," he said with a sinister grin, rising from his seat and opening the door, causing the Taros, who were wearing business suits and holding briefcases, to topple into the room because they'd been listening at the door. "Boys? He's ready for you."

The friendly (for a given definition of the word) Imagin quickly rose to their feet. "Taros, Taros, Taros, Taros, Sieg, Deneb, and Teddy, at your service!" Momotaros declared, producing a business card. "We… have arrived!"

"Mind if we reel you in for a deposition?" Ryutaros asked, adjusting his spectacles.

"Our legal fees will make you cry!" Kintaros bellowed.

"Mind if I file an insanity defense? I can't hear you!" Ryutaros cried cheerfully.

"Advent, to the judge's stand!" Sieg, wearing a judge wig, proclaimed.

"Let me say this to start… I got my legal degree online!" Deneb confessed.

"I have never lost a case in court… Mainly because I've never actually gone to trial yet, since I'm a rookie attorney," confessed the firm's newest recruit and aspiring future partner, Futaros.

"You really should just confess everything right now and save yourself the trouble," Teddy advised Schwartz, whose eyes had grown wider and his face paler with every word that had come out of the 'attorney's' mouths.

"W-wait just a second-" Schwartz stammered, realizing he may have made a terrible mistake.

"I'll just leave you with your lawyers to prepare your defense. Wouldn't want to rob you of their expert legal advice, after all. Let me know when you're ready to talk," Reiji told Schwartz, struggling not to laugh as he walked out the door, locking it behind him, and trapping the Time Jacker in hell.

Five minutes later, Sougo, Geiz, Tsukuyomi, Woz, and Yuri stared into the interrogation room through the other side of the one-way mirror as Ryotaro ushered the Imagin out of the room, while his grandson Kotaro tried to get Schwartz, who'd agreed to tell them everything, to stop crying.

"Does this count as excessive police brutality?" Asked a disturbed Sougo.

"More like a war crime," whispered a haunted Tsukuyomi.

"Not even Oma Zi-O's cruelest depravities were as horrible as that…" Murmured a shellshocked Geiz.

"Indeed, this is a depth my Overlord would never stoop to," Woz agreed, looking as if he had been made to bear witness to the infinite wickedness of humanity.

"I wonder if they'd be willing to work part-time for the Time Protection Bureau as interrogators, we'd be able to break more criminals that way," pondered Yuri, who looked more intrigued then horrified. The others gave her appalled looks.

After Schwartz had recovered from his hysterics, Reiji was seated across from him once more. "That was a dirty trick you pulled," the Time Jacker muttered, pale and trembling, unable to muster up his usual contemptuous tone. "Will it hold up in court?"

"You let me worry about that," Reiji said, unconcerned. "Now. You promised you'd tell me what I wanted to know. Or do I need to bring your lawyers back in?"

Schwartz started at that, nearly falling out of his chair. Sougo and the others, who'd always seen him so confident and aloof, were astonished at just how uncharacteristically timid and broken he seemed now. It was almost pitiable, really. "N-no, that won't be necessary," he said quickly. "First things first. My name isn't actually Schwartz, it's Susan."

There's a long silence. Reiji raised an eyebrow. "Susan."

"Yes."

"You're aware that's a woman's name."

"In the 21st century, yes," Schwartz, or rather, Susan, said defensively. "But in my time period, it's a fairly popular boy's name."

"What? No it's not," said a confused Tsukuyomi.

"Yeah, Sougo is the most common name back home," Geiz agreed.

"Really?" Sougo asked in surprise.

Woz nodded. "Yes, after my Overlord passed a law forcing one in every 20 boys to be named after him."

Sougo grimaced. "Of course he did…"

"And by time period, you mean the early 30th century, I'm guessing?" Reiji prodded.

"HUH?!" Sougo and his friends exclaimed as Yuri nodded, a tight, satisfied smile on her face.

Susan blinked in surprise. "How…" Understanding dawned. "The TimeRangers figured out, didn't they?"

"Given that Time Mazines and other vehicle/robots like them existed in their recent past, it wasn't too hard to figure it out," Reiji confirmed. "What doesn't make sense is why someone from that that far in the future came back to this time, and introduced Time Mazines and who knows what else to this era. What were you hoping to gain by making this technology available nearly 1000 years early? Were you trying to prop Oma Zi-O as a puppet King by supplying him with the technology and power he'd need to cement his reign, to change history in your favor?"

Susan winced. "Ah… No. Nothing as ambitious as that, really."

"Then what? Talk me through this," Reiji insisted.

Susan groaned. "You're going to think it's stupid."

Reiji raised his other eyebrow. "Is it stupid?"

Susan grimaced. "Kind of. It's… Okay, let's start at the beginning." He straightened in his seat. "I work for a company that produces and sells Time Mazines and similar machines. In my time, they've more or less replaced cars as the vehicle of choice for the average consumer."

Reiji blinked. "… Flying machines that can turn into giant robots and travel through time are basically _cars_ when you're from?!"

"Yes, and incredibly dangerous vehicles that cause thousands of deaths a year and are creating a lasting negative impact on the environment are what everyone in this time seem to be obsessed with driving around in," Susan retorted. "And we're currently inside a time-traveling train that somehow doubles as a detective agency. Common sense isn't exactly a valued commodity in my time either."

"He's got us there," Yuri admitted. "I mean, most of our mecha are able to travel through time due to another robot basically flinging them into a time portal. And someone thought our most powerful robot should look like a T-rex for no reason other than they liked dinosaurs."

"… He's basically a _car salesman_?!" An incredulous Sougo cried.

"I certainly did not see that coming," a perturbed Woz commented.

"How does a guy like that become a Time Jacker?" The confused Tsukuyomi wondered.

"Somehow I don't think we're going like the answer," Geiz said gloomily.

"However, as regulations on the sale and usage of Time Mazines got stricter due to concerns that people who took them on joy rides throughout history might cause serious and irreparable changes to the timeline, my company started losing money and people started getting laid off," Susan continued. "Afraid that I might lose my job if I couldn't meet my sales quota, and because I was _heavily_ in debt to the Time Mafia, I desperately tried to think of a way to get around the new regulations. After getting heavily drunk and watching too many time travel movies, I got what – – at the time – – seemed to be a brilliant idea: I would go back in time to before the regulations were in place, back when demand was at its highest and the market for recreational time machines was just getting started, and sell my stock there! It was the perfect plan!" His face fell. "Or at least, I thought it was, until I arrived in the past and discovered that everyone else had the same idea. In fact, I'm pretty sure that the inventor of the Time Mazine is actually some guy from my time who traveled back several years into the past, changed his identity, patented some blueprints he'd swiped from the company he was working for as his own invention, and made a fortune."

"… That's actually pretty clever," Tsukuyomi remarked. "Even if it does set up a bit of an ontological paradox."

"What do you mean?" Sougo asked, having no idea what an ontological paradox was.

"If the inventor of the Time Mazine is actually someone from a time when they were commonplace and presented the information on how to build them in the past as if it were his own idea, where did the design originally come from?" Woz explained.

Sougo considered this. His frown grew as his confusion deepened. "I don't know. Where?"

Yuri sighed. "Nobody knows. We've got a whole department back in my time dedicated to figuring stuff like that out. Time crimes can get _incredibly_ convoluted."

"Understandably, I didn't take this news well," Susan continued. "So, after some more drinking and watching too many time travel movies, I got an even better idea! The problem was, I just hadn't gone back _far enough!_ Taking a page from the book of the guy who may or may not have invented the Time Mazine, I figured I'd go all the way back to the 21st century, where you couldn't turn a corner without running into someone having a giant robot battle, and sell Time Mazines then, when demand would be _sky-high!"_

"You would give people who are definitely not ready for it widespread access to time travel, just to make a few yen?!" Reiji cried in disbelief.

"Of course not!" Susan replied, appalled. "I would never give the savages of this era something like that! They'd destroy themselves, and possibly ruin my own future! No, I would disable the time travel function first. People would still be more than happy to buy affordable flying machines that could turn into giant robots that you could fit in a large enough garage and not have to worry about building a huge hangar like most of the other giant mecha of this time period need."

"… Yeah, I can sort of see the appeal," Sougo confessed.

"Seriously?!" Geiz demanded.

"Well, yeah, who doesn't want their own personal giant robot?" Sougo countered. "Plus, one as small as a Time Mazine is probably much easier to maintain then the sorts of mecha Sentai use! Er, no offense, Mrs. Yuri."

"None taken," Yuri said with a nod. "I can see where you're coming from."

"Still waiting for the part that explains how a giant robot salesman somehow becomes a time-traveling terrorist responsible for the rise of history's greatest monster," Tsukuyomi grumbled.

"Yes, as am I," Woz agreed, frantically flipping to his book. "There's nothing in here that mentions any of this…"

Reiji seemed skeptical. "I can't imagine that the currency of our era would be considered legal tender back when you come from."

"It's not," Susan admitted. "But it didn't occur to me at the time because I was very drunk. Once I sobered up, however, an easy solution occurred to me."

"Use future knowledge to play the stock market? Deposit money in the bank and then collect it with sizable interest once you returned to your own time?" Reiji guessed.

Susan shook his head. "No, that sort of thing rarely works on this big a timescale. In the hundreds of years between my time and yours, economies can crash, nations fall, money becomes devalued, and all sorts of other disasters can happen. No, my plan was to buy as much rare and valuable goods and materials as I could, bury it in a time capsule someplace I knew would still be around in my time, then dig it back up in the present and sell it to museums, antiques dealers, and collectors of old world treasures."

"A cunning stratagem," Woz murmured, impressed.

"So why didn't he do it?" Tsukuyomi asked, getting angry and impatient.

"So why didn't you do it?" Reiji asked, as if reading her mind.

Susan's face fell. "I ran into the same problem that had prompted me to begin time traveling in the first place: harsh regulations on the sale and usage of giant robots. After the leftover Heavy Industrial Machines from Rainian Agent Abrella's stock flooded the black market following his demise, the government cracked down on consumer giant robot distribution, making it nearly impossible for me to sell anything without going through extraordinary amounts of red tape, made even more impossible due to the fact that I'm not even from this time and my credentials would never be accepted."

"Bureaucracy saves the day again," Reiji said smugly.

"Yeah, yeah…" Susan grumbled. "While it later occurred to me that I could've just traveled further back to before that legislation existed, I was too depressed to think of it at the time, so I-"

"Got drunk and much too many time travel movies?" Reiji guessed.

"Got _high_ and watched too many time travel movies," Susan corrected him. "While tripping big time, my most brilliant plan (or so I thought at the time) occurred to me. If government regulations were getting in the way of making enough money to keep my job, and prevent the Time Mafia from breaking my time knees-"

"Time knees?" The confused Reiji interrupted.

"Oh, you don't know about those yet? It's like when someone breaks your knee, except it's _always_ been broken, and _always_ will be broken, forever," Susan explained.

"… That sounds very unpleasant," said a disturbed Geiz.

"Yeah, that's why time pipes and time crowbars are so heavily regulated in my time," Yuri agreed.

"Do you have to keep adding 'time' to everything?" Tsukuyomi asked in exasperation.

"Since time travel is involved, yes," Yuri said flatly. "It's time." Tsukuyomi facepalmed.

"Anyway, it occurred to me that if government regulations were getting in the way, than what I _really_ need to do was overthrow the government by using time travel to create a despot who would take over the world and be more than willing to buy an army of giant robots to help enforce his will on a fearful and helpless populace!" Susan continued.

The observation area suddenly got very, very silent. "No," Sougo said quietly.

"… You're kidding," Reiji said flatly.

"I told you, I was high," Susan said defensively. "It seemed like a perfect plan at the time. I got in my Time Mazine and cruised around for a while, looking for kids – – I figured it would be a good idea to start them small, while they were impressionable – – and saw a bunch of them getting onto a bus with their parents. So, I decided to hitch a ride, then seized control of the bus and gave all of them the latent ability to control time like I could-"

"How do you do that, anyway?" Reiji interrupted.

"Nanomachines," Susan said matter-of-factly.

"Nano… I'm a Metal Gear character?!" Sougo exclaimed in disbelief.

"Metal what?" Asked a confused Tsukuyomi.

"Something incredibly confusing which I don't really want to go into right now," Sougo replied, desperate to hear what Susan was going to say next.

"It's even more complicated than time travel," Yuri agreed.

"I figured that by scaring and intimidating the kids, one of them would be able to trigger their nanomachines and prove themselves a worthy candidate for a future despot," Susan continued. "But then this crazy girl in white I'd never seen before who seemed to know who I was got up and started shooting at me-"

"Tsukuyomi," Reiji added.

"Well, yes, I know that _now_ ," Susan emphasized. "But at the time I had no idea who she was. I thought she might be a time cop, or worse, a Time Mafia enforcer who'd finally found me. I panicked, set the bus to crash, then jumped back to my time with the kids."

"You killed over two dozen people," Reiji said angrily.

"I was high, terrified, and in any event, from my perspective, they'd all been dead for hundreds of years anyway," Susan said callously.

Sougo punched the wall hard enough to crack it. Tsukuyomi quietly put a hand on the young man's shoulder to let him know he wasn't alone.

"You took them back to your time?" Reiji continued, reeling in his temper. "From all accounts, it seemed like you took them to the end of the world."

"Well, yeah, I suppose it would _look_ that way to people from this time," Susan said with a smirk. "But actually I just took them to a testing range where we put our deluxe Dai Mazine models through their paces. The kids would have no way of knowing it was more or less a simulation, freak out, and with any luck, one of them would activate the time-controlling nanomachines I gave them. One of them did."

"Sougo Tokiwa," Reiji confirmed.

Susan nodded. "Right. When he manifested power over time, I knew he was the one. I took him aside, gave him some bullshit speech about how he was the chosen king who would rule the world and prevent this future from happening, then gave him some more nanomachines I'd programmed to turn him evil after his 19th birthday when Regulus was in the right position in the heavens."

"Why then?" Asked the confused Reiji.

"I repeat: I was high," Schwartz said bluntly.

"No, no, no, no-" Sougo murmured, trembling as he shook his head in denial.

"No… This… This cannot be," Woz whispered, clutching his book tightly, as if it were a lifeline to everything he'd thought he'd ever known.

"Wait… So THAT'S why he became Oma Zi-O?! Because of nanomachines?!" Geiz demanded, outraged.

"Can they even do that?" Tsukuyomi asked.

Yuri shrugged. "Nanomachines can do just about anything you want them to, really. They're convenient like that."

"Then I dumped the kids – – all of whom except for Sougo and one other boy had managed to get themselves killed, somehow – – back in their own time, and promptly crashed and didn't wake up for about 50 hours," Susan continued. "Once I'd woken up, showered, got something eat, and took something for my MASSIVE hangover, I remembered what I'd just done and was horrified that I'd come up with something so ridiculously convoluted and STUPID.

"That lasted until I checked the timeline and discovered, to my amazement, my plan had _worked_. In 2019, Sougo Tokiwa would become the Demon King Oma Zi-O and take over the world. Not only that, it appeared that he did so with help from some Dai Mazines that appeared out of nowhere, meaning that everything had somehow worked out exactly like I wanted it to. All I needed to do now was travel to the future, sell him some robots, and I'd make more than enough money to not only keep my job, pay off the Time Mafia, but also make Employee of the Year!"

"NO!" Sougo cried, tearing at his hair.

"Everything that's happened… Our nightmare of a future… Was caused by something as petty and banal as that?!" Demanded a livid Geiz.

"I've seen worse time crimes committed for much stupider reasons," Yuri told him sympathetically. "Though not many as dumb as this."

"This…this cannot be…" Woz whimpered in denial.

"If everything worked out like you wanted, then why go through all this Time Jacker nonsense?" Reiji questioned. "Why not just take your money and go?"

Susan grimaced. "Because when I traveled forward a few decades to meet with Oma Zi-O and make my sales pitch… I was astonished to learn that he already knew who I was. He remembered me; not just from when I empowered him as a child, but he claimed that in the year leading up to his ascension, he and some of his comrades had battled against me, my companions, and a bunch of monsters we created called 'Another Riders.' Naturally, all this was big news to me, and not welcome news, either, because it meant that I was now stuck in something far more convoluted than I'd imagined, and I wouldn't be able to go home for good until I'd lived out this series of events I'd apparently set into motion and closed the time loop."

The observers started this. "Wait, what?" Geiz said.

"My Overlord… Met with him?" Whispered a confused Woz. "He knew all of this was going to happen? But that… That's not in my book…"

"So you're saying that the reason you became a Time Jacker, caused numerous temporal anomalies, created the Another Riders, and tormented Tokiwa and his friends… Is because his future self told you to?" Reiji questioned.

Susan nodded. "More or less, yeah. He told me that's essentially what he remembered happening, which meant that I'd have to go along with it now, or else I'd screw up the timeline more than it already was."

"Speaking of which, wouldn't suddenly causing an all-powerful despot to take over the world erase your own future?" Reiji asked.

Susan shook his head. "No, I've checked in periodically. My time period is more or less the same as it was before I started all this. I'm not totally sure why. It might be due to temporal stabilizers and paradox preventers in my time, but it also might mean that Oma Zi-O taking over the world isn't really that big a change. History is funny that way; sometimes making a tiny change can have ripples which alter the future in ways you can possibly imagine, other times a big change isn't really that big a deal."

"The deaths of billions and the desolation of the planet _aren't that big a deal?!"_ A furious Geiz demanded.

Yuri shrugged. "Like he said, from his perspective, they were already dead anyway."

"'Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair,'" Tsukuyomi murmured to herself.

Sougo, still reeling from all this, glanced at her. "Huh?"

"It's a line from an old poem. Basically, once upon a time there was a mighty conqueror named Ozymandias, who accomplished all sorts of amazing deeds. And then centuries, thousands of years after the fact, nobody remembered him. Everything he'd done was swept away by the sands of time," Tsukuyomi explained.

"No… Surely… Surely my Overlord would be remembered in the future as being the greatest and most powerful ruler of all time!" Woz protested, horrified.

"Not really," Yuri told him apologetically. "There's plenty of other rulers in our time that we remember better because they were more recent. Heck, even that Hitler guy you had a few decades ago who was some sort of a big deal is barely remembered by anyone anymore. History marches on."

"Before I embarked on the path that I was apparently supposed to walk, I finally accomplished what I'd set out to do by selling Oma Zi-O a massive amount of Time Mazines and a few Dai Mazines he could use to enforce his will, as well as send back in time to help his past self take over the world," Susan continued. "Then, at his suggestion, I turned around and secretly sold a bunch to the rebellion, after making sure to sabotage them so that they'd be useless against him. Not that they would've been much of a threat anyway, but better safe than sorry."

Tsukuyomi gasped in horror. "That was HIM?!" Geiz bellowed, and Yuri had to grab him before he ran into the interrogation room and beat Susan to a pulp.

"My overlord… Played them against himself?" Woz whispered, shocked.

"Then he sent me back to my own time to grab a few Space-Time Drivers and a whole bunch of Ridewatches-" Susan started.

"Those are from your time as well?" Reiji interrupted.

Susan nodded. "Yeah. Got them from a toy store."

There was a long pause. "I'm sorry. Did you just say…"

Susan smirked. "I suppose to the people of this time, they seem like insanely sophisticated weapons. But back in my time, they're just toys. Kids play with them all the time and use them to transform into their favorite superheroes throughout history. All I needed to do was tinker with them a bit and remove the safeties to make them more powerful, with the side effect of sometimes severely altering the personal timeline of the Riders the watches were modeled after. Further alteration produced the Anotherwatches, which turn people into monsters instead of Riders."

"… They're TOYS?!" An astonished Sougo demanded.

"All this time we've been fighting with toys?!" Geiz demanded.

"Well, Ex-Aid fights using video games…" Tsukuyomi pointed out, struggling to find a bright side to this new revelation.

"If they're toys, then how did new watches sometimes just… Appear out of thin air?" Reiji questioned skeptically.

Susan chuckled. "Just a parlor trick. I stop time, do some sleight-of-hand, maybe throw in a little special effects, and… Voilà. Shiny new Ridewatch."

"… Well, now I feel kind of ripped off," Sougo complained.

"What about the GeizRevive and Trinity watches? Surely those…?" Geiz wondered.

"Does that apply to the GeizRevive and Trinity watches as well?" Reiji pressed.

Susan nodded. "And the Miridewatches. They and the BeyonDriver are just another model of Driver and watches from my time that I gave to White Woz, and he passed off as being from his time. Just another layer of deception."

"He went along with it?" Reiji asked in disbelief.

Susan shrugged. "He thought I was helping him achieve the future he wanted. But in the end, he, too, was nothing more than a pawn for Oma Zi-O and I."

"Even White Woz was… Just how far do these machinations go?" Wondered a disturbed Tsukuyomi.

"I don't think we're going to like the answer," Geiz said glumly.

"… I think this is the first time I've actually felt sorry for the other me," said the horrified Woz.

"Not even when he faded from existence?" Sougo asked.

"I was kind of relieved, actually," Woz confessed. "Now, nobody would ever get the two of us mixed up again.… _My Overlord_."

Sougo grimaced. "Never going to let that go, are you…"

"I'm sure I've no idea what you're talking about, my Overlord," Woz said cheerfully.

"Anyway, once we had everything ready, we allowed Geiz to 'steal' a Driver and a couple of watches so he could become a Kamen Rider, just as Oma Zi-O remembered him being," Susan continued.

Geiz stiffened. "He… He _let_ me… No. No, that can't be. I was the only one of my unit who made it out…!"

"We also arranged for Tsukuyomi and Geiz to get their hands on a pair of Time Mazines whose time travel function still worked, so they could go back in time to meet with the Sougo of the past and become the friends his future self remembered them being," Susan went on, much to the shock of Geiz and Tsukuyomi. "Oma Zi-O also tasked his servant, Woz, with delivering a Driver to his past self, giving him a… Somewhat embellished and abridged history book to use as a guideline. He told him none of what we were really up to or my involvement, since he didn't remember Woz knowing any of this the first time they met, so saw no reason to clue him in now."

"He… He _allowed_ us to…" Tsukuyomi stammered.

"This was planned… Right from the start…?!" Geiz spluttered, horrified.

"My overlord… He… He _used_ me?!" Woz whispered, looking on the verge of tears. He stared at his precious book in horror, which he had structured his old life around… Wondering, for the first time, if it might have all been a lie.

"And while Oma Zi-O was doing all that, I took the name 'Schwartz' and formed the Time Jackers. I used my nanomachines to give them a weaker version of my own power over time, promising them we'd change the future by appointing our own puppet King to the throne to replace the Demon King. None of them knew that I was just using them to fulfill the role that my future self would apparently use them for," Susan went on. "With everything in place, we then set in motion the events that would lead to Oma Zi-O's rise to power. The Riders, the Jackers, the Another Riders, none of them knew they were actually dancing to Oma Zi-O's and my strings the whole time. And everything since then has been going exactly according to plan, even the things that didn't."

"What do you mean by that?" Asked the confused Reiji, hiding just how shocked at the extent of these manipulations he was.

He shrugged. "A lot of stuff happened that I didn't account for. Tokiwa sacrificing his Driver, the Dai Mazines appearing early, the date for Oma Day shifting, the appearance of White Woz and the future Riders, Ginga's attack…" Susan listed. "However, whenever I checked in with Oma Zi-O, he claimed that everything was still going exactly as he remembered. Which means that either the timeline's been changing but not enough to prevent his ascension… Or that nothing has actually changed, and every single event that's happened so far is exactly how he remembers it happening, and he chose not to tell me about it in advance because he didn't remember me knowing about it when he was going through the first time around." He grinned. "Which do you think is scarier?"

"He can't possibly have anticipated you getting arrested," Reiji insisted.

Susan raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Why do you think that?"

"Because you've told us everything. We know what's really going on now. All we have to do to prevent Oma Zi-O from ever rising to power is neutralize the nanomachines inside of Tokiwa to prevent him from turning evil on Oma Day. Both of you are finished," Reiji said firmly.

Susan chuckled. "Boy, you underestimate the man I work for."

Reiji frowned. "'Work for?'"

Susan nodded. "I may have created him, but in no way do I control him. I learned pretty fast which of us is really in charge. The guy scares me worse than the Time Mafia, which is probably the main reason I haven't just booked it back to my time and left all this behind. That, and he pays me pretty well."

"Then you should be glad we caught you, since that means we're going to prevent him from ever coming to exist," Reiji pointed out.

"Oh yes, I'm so grateful that I'm going to spend the rest of eternity in Time Prison," Susan said deadpan. "And again, you underestimate him. Oma Zi-O has planned for erasure from existence at least once before. What makes you think he can't do it again?" He nodded at the one-way mirror. "After all, you've probably got his younger self on the other side of that mirror, listening in on all this… Which means Oma Zi-O will have remembered it happening as well. Why don't you or your friends from the future check to see if the timeline has changed now that you've caught me? I'm genuinely curious to see if anything's different now."

Sougo and his friends quickly glanced at Yuri, who was consulting an incredibly futuristic gadget. Her eyes widened in disbelief. She tapped her commlink and whispered something into it. In the interrogation room, Reiji stiffened and went pale. Susan chuckled. "I'm right, aren't I?"

"This interview is over," Reiji said curtly, rising from his seat.

"Whatever you're planning, it's no good!" Susan shouted after him. "Oma Zi-O is inevitable! I've created the greatest monster in history, and nothing you or anyone else can do can change that! Fruit Jesus knows I've tried!" He laughed madly as Reiji left the room.

"I'm sorry, but I need to deal with this," Yuri said curtly as she left the room as well.

"It… It can't be…" Tsukuyomi whispered, stunned. "Everything we've done… Everything we fought for… It was all for nothing.…?"

"Nothing we've done mattered? We were all playing into his hands, right from the very start?" Geiz whispered as he leaned against a wall, so shocked he was having trouble standing up.

Trembling, Woz fell to his knees, staring at his book, even as tears clouded his vision. An expression of rage flickered across his face and he flung the tome across the room before collapsing into himself, a look of utter despair on his features. "My overlord…" He whispered. "My overlord… How could you?"

And Sougo… Sougo felt nothing. No anger, no sorrow, no despair, nothing at all. He was completely numb. "All my life," he said quietly. "All my life… All I wanted to do was become a king. Even after I learned my future self was an evil overlord, even after I learned that it was all set up, I told myself that it didn't matter. I would still become a king, and on my own terms, and that… And I would be a good king, and this was how things were meant to be, and… And…" He started shaking. "And now… Now I know that it was all set into motion… For such a petty, selfish, _stupid_ reason, I… What was the point of it all? What was the point of any of it? My whole life, my dreams, my ambitions… All of it was for _this_?!"

His friends said nothing, all lost in their own grief.

In the interrogation room, Susan was still laughing. "Oh! Oh, and I can't believe you forgot to ask me this!" He shouted. "Whoever's listening – – and I really hope it's you and your friends, Tokiwa! – – I have one more truth bomb to drop on you! When I told Woz that Tsukuyomi and I were cut from the same cloth, I was lying to give him the wrong idea! She's not a Time Jacker, or Time Police, or Time Mafia, or even a time traveling tourist that got in over her head!"

He started laughing again. "The reason Tsukuyomi has those powers, the reason she has no memories… Is because she is Oma Zi-O's granddaughter! She's _the one true heir of the_ _DEMON KING!"_

…

"Okay, we all hate time travel, enough already," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled. "Let's just move on to the next question!"

 **During crossover events, how many times has Kamen Rider J actually defeated an opponent while in his Jumbo Formation?**

 **A. Eight**

 **B. Six**

 **C. Five**

 **D. Four**

 **E. Three**

 **F. Two**

…

 **These subplots just keep getting away from me, don't they? Quite a lot of bombshells and joking headcanon in this one. What do you all think of it?**


	35. Question 32

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"The answer is two," Satsuki said decisively.

Everyone looked at her in surprise. "Wait, two? That can't be right," a startled Taiga protested.

"Yeah, how's that possible? J can turn into a giant!" Kiriya agreed.

"He can," Hiiro conferred. "Nevertheless, he's only defeated two opponents in his Jumbo Formation during crossovers."

"… Has he… Just not used his Jumbo Formation much, or…" Parad questioned.

"No, he has, he just gets defeated often," Satsuki corrected him.

"How is that possible?!" Nico demanded. "I thought you said the guy was some sort of Warden on freaking Monster Island! And is pals with _Godzilla_!"

"Maybe it's the Worf Effect?" Emu suggested.

"What does Star Trek have to do with this?" Asked a confused Taiga.

"The Worf Effect is what it's called when a character hyped up to be one of the strongest and toughest in the setting gets easily defeated by the villain of the week to demonstrate just how big a threat they are," Parad explained. "If it happens too often, than the character in question starts to look like a real joke and you wonder how he ever got his reputation to begin with."

"I think it's happened to us a few times," Emu reflected.

Kiriya nodded. "Yeah, hazard of being a superhero."

Nico groaned. "Dammit, you're right, that must be it. Stupid Worf."

"… I'm so confused right now," Taiga complained.

"Nothing new there, then," Hiiro said lightly. Taiga glared at him.

"Who did he lose to, anyway?" Parad asked.

"Decade, Gaim, and Shocker's Rider Robo," Satsuki recalled.

"Okay, I guess that's understandable," Taiga admitted. "Decade is the Destroyer of Worlds, Gaim is a God, and Shocker is… Shocker."

"Actually, this was before His Fruitiness ascended," Hiiro corrected him.

Taiga made a face. "Seriously? Was he at least a giant?"

"No," Mizuki reported. "Which just demonstrates his divine might, even _before_ he came divine."

"Wait, why were they fighting in the first place?" Asked the puzzled Parad.

"Heroic Riders fight each other all the time for no real reason, does there need to be an excuse?" Kiriya asked sarcastically.

Emu sighed. "I wish it didn't happen at all… We probably could have saved ourselves a hole lot of time back in the day if the rest of you hadn't constantly insisted on working against each other rather than with me."

"They were battling because the Showa Riders blamed the Heisei Riders for the resurgence of the Badan Empire," Satsuki answered Parad.

"Why would they think that?" Asked a bewildered Nico.

"Because it was."

"… Oh."

"Wait, how does that work?" Asked the confused Emu.

"The Badan Empire was a kingdom of the dead, so the Heisei Riders' lingering regret over people that they'd lost formed a connection the Empire could use to return to terrorize the world," Hiiro explained.

"What, the Showas didn't have anyone they missed?" Kiriya asked incredulously.

The surgeon shrugged. "Apparently not badly enough to bring back Badan."

Kiriya scowled. "Well, that's dumb."

"J also failed to defeat King Dark in a battle with Dai-Shocker, until Decade combined with him to become a gigantic Decade and vanquished him," Satsuki continued. "But that doesn't really count, since it was Decade who won, not J."

"So who are the two he actually beat, then?" Kiriya asked.

"Shadow Moon and Fourze," Satsuki informed him.

"Why would he need to become gigantic to fight them?" Parad asked.

"Shadow Moon was a giant at that point. Fourze, however, was not," Satsuki explained.

"So… One victory against a giant, the thing he is supposed to be able to beat as a big guy, and one victory against a regular-sized Rider. What a hero," Kiriya said sarcastically.

"He's done better in his own battles," Satsuki said defensively.

"Again. This is a guy who's the Warden of Monster Island and is friends with Godzilla?!" Nico demanded.

"Actually, I think he only got the job a few years ago," Taiga told her.

"Guess he must've been fed up with losing all the time, and figured that if he trained against the monsters there, he'd be more successful in future battles," Kiriya speculated.

Hiiro nodded. "That sounds plausible."

"It better be damn good training, otherwise I'm never going to respect him again," Nico said firmly.

"You've never even met the guy," Taiga pointed out.

"Well, I want to now, so I can tell him just how much I do or don't respect him," Nico said with a huff, crossing her arms.

"Maybe he'll be at the next crossover," Parad suggested. "We should probably be due one around now anyway."

"The answer is two!" Emu declared, noticing that they were running out of time.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jerked backwards with a grunt, his health bar dropping slightly. "That is…correct!" The monitor changed its display to show clapping hands and flashing colors and the Bugster audience eagerly applauded while victorious music played briefly and the spotlights wildly shone all over the stage. " _Dammit!_ That's six in a row now!"

"Care to make it seven?" Kiriya joked.

"Or, better yet, just call this off? I think it's pretty clear by this point that Emu's winning," Hiiro pointed out. "At this point, it feels more like you're trying to drag things out just to be petulant."

"I'm doing no such thing!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted petulantly.

"Then why are we still doing this, Kuroto? When does it end?" A tired Emu asked.

"It ends when I say it ends! And that's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped.

Internally, he was far more worried. _Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! This isn't going the way it was supposed to! This should have been over by now, but they just keep WINNING! They weren't supposed to be this smart!_ He glanced uneasily at his Rider Gauge, which was dangerously low. _And despite my best efforts, I can only draw this out so long before they lose their patience and stop putting up with this game. I just need one more wrong answer. Just one more! Come on, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, there has to be SOMETHING that will trip them up!_

And then, suddenly, he had it. _Yes! That one! That will work for certain!_

Out loud, he said, "I hope you enjoyed your winning streak while it lasted, because it's about to come to an end. This next question is both simpler and far more complicated than it would appear at first glance. Can you figure it out?"

 **How many Amazons are there?**

 **A. One**

 **B. Five**

 **C. Six**

 **D. Seven**

 **E. Several thousand**

…

 **So, think you can solve this one?**


	36. Boss Stage 11 Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Several thousand?! Well, there's no way it's that one," Nico said confidently.

"Actually…" Taiga brought up hesitantly.

Nico gave him a disbelieving look. "No. No way. There are NOT that many Amazon Riders!"

"There aren't," Hiiro agreed. "However, the monsters the Amazon Riders fight (except for the original) are ALSO known by the moniker of Amazon, and there are – – or were – – several thousand of them."

Nico stared at him for a long moment. "Okay, first off, whose bright idea was it to name the Riders and the monsters the same thing? Second… THOUSANDS of them?!"

"A few years back an evil pharmaceutical corporation did human experimentation using something called the 'Amazon Cell' that caused the test subjects to turn into horrible monsters that craved human flesh," Kiriya explained. "There was an accident, and all 4000 test subjects managed to escape and started preying on the general public. The company covered it up and hired mercenaries to exterminate all of the escaped test subjects. And then someone found a way to poison the water supply and create even more monsters. And THEN someone got the bright idea to start breeding them as an alternative food source."

"… WHAT THE FUCK," Nico yelled loudly.

"Yeah, the whole thing was pretty messed up," Taiga agreed. "The Japanese people were NOT happy when they found out. A lot of heads rolled. Sometimes literally."

"Others were bitten off," Kiriya added. "Not pretty."

"Fruit Jesus Kazuraba," whispered the stunned girl.

"Anyway, the Amazon Riders are called that because they also have Amazon Cells in them," Emu told her.

"Except for the original, who is called that because he grew up in the Amazon," Satsuki added.

"Right," Emu agreed.

"So… What's the question referring to?" Asked the confused Parad. "The Amazon Riders, or the Amazon monsters?"

"… Good question," Taiga murmured.

"Why can't it be both?" Kiriya suggested. "I mean, there's already thousands of Amazon monsters, so if you throw the Riders in as well, it still comes out to about the same thing."

"You sure about that?" Nico asked skeptically.

"It's not very difficult math, Nico," Kiriya said condescendingly.

"No, I mean that that's the right answer," she elaborated, scowling at him.

"Well, the question doesn't specifically say Riders or monsters, so… Maybe it means all of them," Mizuki suggested.

"And what if it doesn't?" Parad asked doubtfully.

"Then… I guess we deal with another Bugster," Taiga reasoned.

"So, we think it's the thousands option?" Emu asked, just to confirm. His friends nodded. "Okay… In that case, the answer is E., several thousand!"

There was a pause. And then Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD started to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. "Finally… FINALLY! That is completely and absolutely WRONG!" He howled.

"What?!" Emu recoiled, crying out in pain as he jerked back, his Rider Gauge dropping slightly. A buzzer sounded, the lights flashed chaotically, and the monitor changed to show a big thumbs down and emoji sticking its tongue out. The Bugster audience booed and started throwing things at the stage.

"Oh, come on! What did we do wrong this time?!" Kiriya protested.

"Did he mean the Amazon Riders after all?" An alarmed Satsuki speculated.

"Yes, but also no!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered. "I think if you take a closer look at the question, you'll realize where you went wrong."

They stared at the question. "I don't get it. What are we missing?" Parad asked after a moment.

"I don't know, everything looks-" Hiiro stiffened. "Ah. Of course."

"Of course? Of course what?" Kiriya demanded.

"The spelling," Satsuki said slowly, realization dawning on her. "It's asking how many Amazons there are."

"Yeah, so?" Nico asked.

Emu groaned. "The plural of creatures possessing the Amazon Cell isn't Amazons, but Amazon _z,_ with a Z _."_

"What? That's stupid! Why would they spell it that way?!" Nico demanded.

"They thought it sounded cool?" Parad suggested.

"… Dammit, that's probably why, isn't it?" Nico cursed.

"Which means the right answer was six?" Taiga realized.

"Or maybe just one. The more recent Amazon Riders had the Amazon Cell as well, so count as Amazonz," Satsuki pointed out. "While the original just had magical bracelets."

"So, if you lump the original and newer Amazon Riders together, would they be Amazons or Amazonz?" Asked the confused Taiga.

"I think they'd just be called Amazon Riders," Emu suggested.

"Or Riderz, with a Z?" Kiriya joked.

"Don't even go there, man!" Nico snapped.

"It doesn't matter what they're called, because you got a question wrong! And you know what that means!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD crowed triumphantly.

"Bugster Time?" The heroes said unhappily.

"Bugster Time!" He slammed a fist onto a large red button on his podium. Air horns blew, and the audience cheered as the words BUGSTER TIME flashed on the screen with a wobbling Virus head sandwiched between them.

Kiriya sighed. "So, who's the lucky victim this time?"

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cackled. "Oh, someone I think you're all familiar with…"

He gestured at the monitor, which changed to show a complex laboratory with numerous high-tech machines, whirling centrifuges, bubbling chemicals, and white-coated researchers hard at work. One of them, sitting at a desk by herself with a high-end computer vote up to a modified hard drive with several Gashat plugged into it, was none other than-

"Dr. Saiko Yaotome?!" Everyone cried, recognizing the beautiful scientist in charge of the Seito University Hospital Center for Regenerative Medicine.

"No… No, don't you dare!" Kiriya shouted, livid as he realized what was about to happen.

"She's inches away from bringing back everyone who was taken away! If anything were to happen to her-" Emu stammered.

"He… He wouldn't… No, who am I kidding, of course he would!" Cried a horrified and disgusted Nico.

Satsuki and Mizuki exchanged alarmed glances. "If anything were to happen to her, then our Lady…" The martial artist began.

"Will never come home," the ninja agreed.

"Saki…" Hiiro whispered, clenching his fist.

"Kuroto, you bastard!" Parad snarled.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD retorted.

…

Saiko barely managed to hold back a yawn as she input sequence after sequence of code into her computer. "Just a little more…" She muttered under her breath, aware that she'd been saying the same thing on and off for the last several hours. "That should just about do it…"

After a few more keystrokes, the sequence was complete. She glanced through it quickly for errors, and then hit the Enter key.

Immediately, her screen was filled with pop-ups angrily flashing ERROR! In red and yellow.

"Dammit!" She hissed, pounding a fist on her desk. "Another dead end!"

She winced as a splitting pain shot through her skull. Sighing, she leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes and rubbing her scalp. After a few moments, the headache died down enough so that she no longer felt as if a jackhammer was splitting her skull part, to something more manageable, like someone hitting her repeatedly with a baseball bat or Kuroto Dan laughing like a donkey in her ear. It had been another all-nighter, her fifth in a row, and she was pretty sure the only thing that stopped her from passing out hours ago was the constant stream of caffeine she might as well be pumping into her body through an IV feed.

As a doctor, she knew this was in no way good for her health.

As a person, she didn't care. She could rest when she was dead, after all. And with the advances in medicine she was pioneering, despite her many failures, she was pretty sure that not even that would be much of an obstacle before long.

 _Everyone is counting on me_ , she thought, not for the first time. _I'm the only one who can do this. The_ only _one._

She looked at the numerous Gashats plugged into a computer, the 10 proto-Gashats, the Master Kamen Rider Chronicle Gashat, and the God Maximum Mighty X Gashat. Combined, they had the power to bring back everyone that had been killed by a Bugster and undo the tragedy of Zero Day and the deadly game of Kamen Rider Chronicle.

In theory, anyway. In practice, it was anything but that easy.

Oh, certainly, she could bring people back. She could even fully restore their humanity. Unfortunately, the process to do both took far longer than she would like, and could only be done one at a time so far. With the way things were now, it would take decades, if not longer, to bring everyone back. And that much of a delay was simply unacceptable, not when she knew that if she just pushed a little harder, dug a little deeper, she could get them all back, not in some distant future, but here and now, and finally help heal the wounds in the hearts of those who would been left behind.

 _Including my own_ , she thought to herself wearily, shooting a framed photograph of her father, Michiko Zaizen, a sad smile. _Would you be proud of me, father, and what I'm doing? I've tried so hard to follow in your footsteps. Minus the horrible unethical human experimentation. Well, except for that one time. And the other time after that. And when I let myself get tricked by Kuroto Dan…ugh, whatever. I hope you'd be proud of the person I've become._ She kissed her fingers and touched them to the photo. _I'll get you back, father. Someday._

She grimaced, feeling a spike in her headache and a queasiness in her stomach as her vision started blurring. _Oh great, am I passing out now? Wonderful. Looks I'll be waking up with keys embedded in my face again…_

Her body started flickering. She blinked in surprise. _Wait. This isn't just exhaustion. This is… But no! That's not possible! I just got vaccinated! I can't have the Gaming Illness!_

The convulsions that shook her body told her otherwise. Gasping, she fell off her chair, a hand shooting out to grab the hard drive all the Gashats were plugged into to keep herself from hitting the ground. Static crackled around her body and the hard drive, causing her screen to flicker and glitch out. She didn't have time to express alarm at this, and the potential corruption to her system and the all-too important Gashats, because she was too busy vomiting orange matter.

The orange slime oozed across the floor, bubbling, before surging upwards, reshaping itself into a bipedal form. The ooze hardened, turning into an armored mostly red figure with silver plates and square fins on the front and sides of its upper legs, greaves with pointed toes on its feet, red and black hexagons covering its abdomen while its upper body was housed within ornate silver and gold armor carved to resemble angelic wings, gold gauntlets with massive claws covering its forearms, eight gold and silver angelic wings with silvery orbs interspace between them growing out of its back along with an ornate halo, and a very elaborate gold and silver headpiece framing a head with large green eyes and a segmented faceplate layered with more hexagons.

The monster glanced down, regarding Saiko dispassionately. Startled, she lost her grip on the hard drive and collapsed to the ground, staring up at the monster in disbelief… But strangely, without fear. "… Father?"

…

"That's Genomes!" Parad recognized.

"And given by the extra armor, it looks like he's got some of Totema's code as well," Emu theorized.

"Using Saiko to create the same Bugster her father became… You're a real piece of work, Kuroto," Taiga sneered furiously.

"I thought it only fitting, seeing as how desperate she was to be reunited with her father in the past," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD jeered. "And that's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"That does it!" Kiriya snapped, strapping on his Buggle Driver II. "That's the last straw! Kuroto, this time you've REALLY gone too far! This game is over!"

Hiiro nodded, taking his Driver from Satsuki, who presented it to him on her knees. "Indeed. This has gone on long enough. It's time to put a stop to this farce before anyone else gets hurt."

"ESPECIALLY everyone in those Gashats," Taiga agreed, his Driver already on, ready to insert Bang Bang Simulation.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD warned them. "Try to attack me, and there will be serious repercussions."

"Like what, you'll release that epidemic?" Kiriya retorted angrily. "You've been threatening that for ages now, but you still haven't done it! I'm starting to think it doesn't even exist!"

Parad narrowed his eyes. "And even if it does… I think we're almost to the point where we just don't care anymore."

"Oh, I'm well aware of that," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD acknowledged. "Which is why I'm not going to unleash the epidemic. Oh no. If you try to attack me, I will order Totema-Genomes to destroy those Gashats, and all the data – – or rather, all the _people_ – –on them."

Everyone froze. "He… He wouldn't," Nico stammered, horrified. "He's bluffing. Even he wouldn't go that far… Would he?"

"He's bluffing," Taiga said, though he didn't look entirely certain. "He's done a lot of horrible things, but he's never actually KILLED anyone."

"Wait, really?" Nico asked in surprise.

"Considering that everyone who's died due to the Bugster virus or at his hands when he's in his Rider form are backed up on the Proto-Gashats? No, he hasn't technically killed anyone," Kiriya, knowing this all too well from experience, explained. He frowned uncertainly. "I think."

Parad nodded in agreement. "If they're dead, they can't be played with anymore, or used as collateral. There's no way he'd have the balls to actually kill them permanently."

"So sure of that, aren't you?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered. "How do you know I don't have a secret server hidden somewhere you'll never find that everyone is backed up on? Or how do you know that by this point, after suffering so many setbacks and humiliations, I just don't give a damn anymore? Is that a risk you _really_ want to take? I suggest you think about this carefully before you do something that can't be taken back."

The Riders hesitated, exchanging uncertain looks. "… He's right," Emu said slowly. "He might be bluffing, but…"

"He might not be," Hiiro agreed. "We can't take that risk." One of his hands trembled. "I can't… I _can't_ lose her again…"

There was a long silence. "… Dammit!" Kiriya swore, putting his Gashat away. "You win this round, Kuroto."

"Of course I do," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said happily. "And that's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD! Now, let's see, which of you should I send to fight against my Bugster minion this time? Everyone's already gone once, except for Parad, who's gone twice, so… Maybe…"

"Uh. should Poppy be up there?" Nico spoke up.

"WHAT?!" Everyone shouted, whirling around to see that the pink-haired form of Poppy Pipopapo had indeed appeared in the lab.

…

Elsewhere…

"What are you doing here?! I thought you were dead!" A stunned Nagi cried.

"… I did die. Where do you think I just came from?"Kyuemonpointed out, gesturing at the cave all of the Yokai had just come out of.

"Oh. Right," Nagi murmured, embarrassed.

"I thought you were supposed to have reincarnated, though," a confused Kasumi pointed out.

"I was going to," Kyuemon agreed. "But along the way, I met my dear Bakeneko here, and decided to hold off on my next life for a little longer."

"And now that we've both been brought back to life, we're going to get married!" Bakeneko giggled happily, squeezing the fox sorcerer's hand.

"That's wonderful!" Neko gasped. "But… I thought you were only into girls, sister?"

"She is," Kyuemon confirmed. "So I switched genders so we can be more compatible. A simple trick for a master of Yokai sorcery such as myself."

"I always wondered if you were going to find a use for that spell," Kyuubi said admiringly.

"Wait, you weren't a girl already?" Asked the baffled Takaharu.

Fuuka opened her mouth to berate her brother… And paused. "Actually… That's a good question… Guys, was Kyuemon a guy or girl?"

"Kyuemon was a guy?" Asked the surprised Kinji.

"Well, he was when he was human, but I assumed he switched genders after being turned into a Yokai," Yakumo confessed.

"I always thought he was a guy, but a very effeminate one," Nagi spoke up. "You know, what with the voice and all."

"Pretty sure he was a guy…" Kasumi murmured, though she didn't seem sure. "Luna, he possessed you for a while, right? Did he feel like a guy or a girl to you?"

"I'm… Not really sure? I mean, I didn't even know I was possessed until after the fact," Luna admitted.

"Seriously?" Asked a disbelieving Sasuke. "Kyuemon's gender gave you this much trouble?"

"Look, does Kyuemon look or sound like a guy to you?" Kinji retorted.

"… Fair point," the elder ninja confessed.

Kyuemon facepalmed and groaned. Bakeneko chuckled.

"My dear sister-in-law isn't the only one who plans to get married!" Kitsune said excitedly, glancing adoringly at the gorgeous feline beside her. "This is Tamaneko! We met at a single's night in the underworld and hit it off."

"Tama… Oh! Oh, crud. This is awkward," Fuuka cringed.

"Why?" Takaharu asked.

"Because Fuuka and I may have killed her, while we were in our Ninja Idol phase," Kasumi muttered, shamefaced. "Um… No hard feelings?"

Tamaneko regarded the female ninjas coolly. "Normally, there would be, given that you not only killed me, but my brothers Nekomata and Mataneko… But, it allowed me to meet my beloved Kitsune, so I suppose I can overlook it. For now."

Neko squealed joyfully. "Oh! This is so wonderful! Both of my sisters have found love! I was starting to think it would never happen!"

"Wait, you were?" Asked the upset Bakeneko.

"Oh, but who's this adorable little creature?" Neko asked, spying the rabbit girl peeking out from hiding behind her wife. "Come out little thing, we aren't going to hurt you!"

The child yelped and hid herself behind Kyuubi's tails, floppy ears trembling. "Mama, that's Usa!" Nyari exclaimed enthusiastically.

"She's a princess from the moon! But she fell to the underworld, where we found her," Kyoko added, just as excited as her sister.

"We love her! Can we keep her forever Mama? Please, please, please?" The two girls pleaded, clasping their hands and widening their glistening eyes and turning up their cute charm to the maximum, enough to kill anyone with a heart condition or diabetes.

Naturally, it had no effect on their mother. "Keep her? I don't know, girls, if she's a moon princess, doesn't she have a kingdom to go back to?"

"She does not, regrettably," Kyuubi said sadly, giving the timid rabbit girl a pitying look. "It seems that her kingdom was destroyed when a powerful energy beam sliced through the portion of the lunar surface where she lived, apparently killing everyone and flinging her to our world."

Yako gasped. "That's terrible!"

"Who would do such a horrible thing?!" Neko snarled.

"Probably someone really evil," Takaharu suggested. "I mean, what other sort of person would fire a superlaser at the moon?"

…

Yamato Kazakiri sneezed, getting the strangest feeling he done something terrible in the past, but wasn't aware what it was.

…

"Yes, that sounds about right," Rentaro agreed.

"Well! Whoever did this better pray they never cross my path, or else I'll render them limb from limb, drain them of all their blood, torture them to the brink of death… And _then_ I'll start getting creative…" Neko growled.

…

Yamato felt a chill run down his spine. "Sela, did you turn the air down again?" He complained.

"I had to! It's soooooooooo hot outside!" The Tiger girl moaned, swooning dramatically.

"No it's not," Leo countered.

"Well, it is compared to the snowy drifts where I was raised!" Sela insisted.

"Sela, you grew up in the city with us, which was in a tropical climate practically year-round," Tusk pointed out, not looking up from his book. "I'm not even positive you've ever _been_ to the snowy drifts. Please turn the thermostat back up."

Sela scowled and reluctantly did as she was asked.

…

"Well, if she really has no place to go… Well, then I suppose she can stay with us," Neko decided. "But… Do you want her as a sister, a pet, a slave, or a lover?"

"We want her like you want Mommy!" Her daughters chorused.

"So, the latter three then," Bakeneko joked.

Neko squealed and hugged her daughters. "Oh! You girls have found your first love! I'm so proud of you!" Drawing back, she frowned and gave them a stern look. "However, keeping a girlfriend that both of you are attracted to isn't all fun and games. Are you sure you can share her responsibly?"

The girls nodded. "We promised to share her equally!" Kyoko assured her mother.

"Just like you and mommy taught us to!" Nyari added.

"Well then, I guess that's that!" Neko purred, clapping her hands together in satisfaction. "You two have your first concubine! Oh, you're growing up so fast!"

"… Aren't they a bit young for that?" Seikai asked.

"Not really, no," Kyuubi replied.

Neko nodded in agreement. "If anything, they're long overdue! They'd probably have had the starts of a proper harem years ago if they hadn't been trapped in the underworld for so long. My, we have a _lot_ to catch up on…"

"Wait, doesn't the rabbit girl get any say in this?" Shurikenger asked.

All the Yokai stared at the ninja, as if he were an idiot. "No, why would she?" Asked the baffled Tamaneko.

"Yeah, I certainly didn't give Rentaro a choice," Yako agreed.

"She really didn't," Rentaro said wearily.

"If it offends your human sensibilities, you'll be happy to know that Usa adores the girls," Kitsune sniffed. "They were the first to befriend her after she wound up in the underworld, and they've protected her ever since. Their love is mutual and sincere."

"Oh. Okay then," Shurikenger relented, mollified.

"This is wonderful! So many new additions to the family!" Neko cooed. "It's a good thing we have such a big new house on Orochi's back, there's plenty of room for everyone!"

"It certainly beats the hole we've been stuck in for the last few decades," Bakeneko grunted.

"It would be an honor to study under you again, Lady Kyuubi, if you'll have me," Kyuemon stated, bowing to the elder fox.

Kyuubi regarded her coolly. "Kyuemon, you left my tutelage under less than ideal terms. Normally I would have nothing more to do with you, but… If my sister-in-law vouches for you…?"

"I do," Bakeneko said firmly.

"As do I," Kitsune agreed.

"We like her, Mommy!" Kyoko cried. "She taught us so many magic tricks!"

"Can she please move in with us?" Nyari pleaded. "Please?"

Kyuubi chuckled and shrugged. "It would appear you have been spoken for. Welcome to the family."

"And you as well, Tamaneko!" Neko added. "It'll be great having another cat Yokai living with us!"

"I am honored and grateful to you for allowing me into your home and family," Tamaneko purred, bowing formally.

Rentaro cleared his throat, drawing the Yokai's attention. "Lady Kyuubi, I don't mean to presume, but… Now that I have helped to reunite your family as promised, I believe there is something you have agreed to do?"

Kyuubi nodded. "But of course. I promised that you and your mate would be richly rewarded for your services, and I've every intention of-"

"Actually, I was referring to the ninjas," Rentaro interjected. "You promised you'd let them go."

Kyuubi blinked. "The ninjas…? Oh. Yes, I suppose I did, didn't I? Very well. Orochi, put them down."

The great serpent nodded it's the many heads in acknowledgment and loosened its coils, dropping the ninjas to the ground… Which was several hundred feet below them. They screamed all the way down, landing with a heavy and rather painful-sounding thud.

Rentaro gasped. "No!"

"Oh, relax, they're fine," Kyuubi said dismissively. "They're Sentai, a little fall won't hurt them."

Several agonized moans rose from where the ninjas lay on the ground. "My everything hurts," Kinji groaned.

"I haven't been in pain this bad since I went through childbirth," Nanami whimpered.

"Someone kill me," Jiraiya wailed piteously.

"Won't hurt them _much_ ," Kyuubi admitted as an exasperated Rentaro glared at her and Yako clutched her sides, laughing hysterically.

"I think I broke all my limbs," Takaharu observed, not seeming as troubled by this as he should have.

"Oh, walk it off!" Kyuubi snapped.

"I don't think I can, seeing as how my legs are broken," the red Ninninger replied obliviously. Kyuubi facepalmed. Yako laughed even harder.

"You know, I probably shouldn't find this is entertaining as I do," Kyuemon commented.

"Was that really necessary?" Neko asked, struggling to hold back a smile.

"I suppose not, no," Kyuubi admitted. "I'm assuming you want me to fix them?" She asked Rentaro with a tinge of irritation.

"If you don't mind," the ninja confirmed.

Kyuubi rolled her eyes. "Fine, but I'm taking it out of your reward."

"Wait, what? You can't do that!" Yako protested.

"I'm pretty sure she can," Rentaro, not too bothered by this, pointed out.

"No, she can't. Isn't that right, Kyuubi?" Neko asked, frowning at her mate.

"…UGH. FINE," Kyuubi whined as she started stomping towards the moaning and sobbing ninjas. "Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I married that cat."

"No you don't," Neko yelled after her.

"No, I don't," Kyuubi admitted, sounding exasperated and aggrieved.

"Think that'll be us some day?" Yako wondered, hugging Rentaro's arm.

"It's not already?" He questioned her.

She smacked him.

…

"What the… What's she doing there?!" Taiga demanded, shocked by the presence of Poppy in Saiko's lab.

"Well, I was able to find a hole in the firewall, maybe she did too?" Parad suggested.

"But she was supposed to be held hostage backstage! How'd she get out?" Kiriya wondered.

"You're supposed to be holding her hostage backstage! How'd she get out?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD demanded of a holographic projection of a feminine Bugster Virus.

The Virus jabbered something in their incomprehensible language as a reply.

"What! What do you mean you're quitting to go work for her?! I don't care if she's nicer than me and is willing to actually pay you, I created you, which means you have to obey me, no matter what!"

More jabbering.

"Hey! Don't take that tone with me, young minion! I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it!"

Still more jabbering.

"Oh. I… Guess I can't, then. Damn. Fine! Go run off to be her servant! I don't care! I'll just program some new Viruses to replace you! You're all expendable anyway!"

Smug jabbering.

"YOU GAVE HER YOUR SOURCE CODE, SO I CAN'T MAKE MORE OF YOU?! POPPYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"Poppy! What do you think you're doing up there?!" Emu demanded.

"What's it look like? Joining the game to fight the Bugster and save the patient!" Poppy replied, gently lifting the moaning Saiko and putting her back in her chair.

"But… But you can't do that!" He spluttered in protest.

"Well, why not?" Poppy asked with a huff. "I'm a Rider too, you know! I see no reason I can't participate as well!"

"But… But Poppy, you're-"

"I'm what?" The Bugster nurse demanded, looking a little annoyed. "A hostage? A prize to be fought over? I'm more than just a damsel in distress, Emu! I'm a modern Bugster! I refuse to be objectified or made into nothing more than some trophy to be won!"

"Of course you're not! You know I don't think of you like that!" Emu cried, startled.

"Well, of course you don't, but a certain 'God' does, and I'm sick of it," Poppy snapped angrily. "I don't care what he says, just because he created me doesn't mean he gets a say in what I do with my life, or who I love! He's been using me this whole game as an excuse to force you to jump through all these hoops and fight monsters all over the city as part of some nefarious scheme that this is all nothing more than a smokescreen for!"

"What?! That is completely untrue! _Who told you that?!"_ Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shrieked.

"Oh, my new friends," Poppy said with a cheery grin. "Not that they needed to, really. It was totally obvious from the start."

"It was not!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD whined.

"It kind of was," Kiriya retorted. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"SILENCE!"

"Poppy-" Emu started.

"Emu, you and the others have been fighting all day and risking your lives because of me," Poppy said gently. "If any of you were to get hurt or worse because of me, I'd never forgive myself. Which is why… This time, it's my turn to fight!" She smiled. "And besides, you know how much I hate it when you all are playing a game, and I don't get invited!"

"… Dammit, Poppy, I think I'm falling in love with you all over again," Emu gushed.

"Awwww," cooed everyone but Hiiro, who remained stoic, and Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, who made retching noises.

"And besides, I've fought Genomes before," Poppy continued. "And beat him, too! I don't care what sort of power-up he's gotten, I can still take him! And besides, some deus ex machina will probably pop up out of the blue to give me my own power-up if I get in dire straits."

"Girl's got a point," Nico commented.

"If the pattern from just about every other battle we fought today remains consistent," Satsuki agreed.

"Of course, assuming it's going to stay that way forever is sort of asking for trouble, isn't it?" Taiga pointed out. Nobody paid attention to him.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD gripped the sides of his podium, grimacing under his mask. "Nngh… Dammit, dammit, dammit… It wasn't supposed to go like this… What do I…" He slammed a fist on the podium. "Totema-Genomes! Do not engage Poppy! Grab the Gashats and get out of there!"

"WHAT?!" everyone cried.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Emu demanded.

"Once those Gashat are back in my possession, I'll be able to hold the lives of everyone who's been erased hostage once more," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD gloated. "I'll become untouchable! None of you will be able to stop me ever again!"

"Dammit, Kuroto!" Kiriya snarled, reaching for his Driver once more.

"Don't take a step closer, or I'll order Totema-Genomes to break one of them! I don't need all of them, after all!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" He glanced up at the screen, surprised to note that Totema-Genomes hadn't moved a muscle. "What are you doing, Totema-Genomes? Grab those Gashat and get out of there! Bring them to me!"

…

The monstrous Bugster stared at the Gashats for a moment. He glanced at the panting and sweating Saiko, Poppy protectively crouched over her, then back at the Gashats. "My… Name…"

"Eh? What are you doing, Totema-Genomes! I gave you an order!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped, getting irritated.

"My… Name… Is not Totema-Genomes.…" The Bugster said slowly, seeming to struggle to dredge each word from its throat. "My name… My name is… _My name is Michihiko Zaizen!"_

"F-father?" Saiko whispered, eyes tearing up.

…

Everyone gasped in disbelief. "Zaizen?!" Hiiro murmured incredulously.

"Wait, Dr. Pac-Man?!" Parad added, stunned.

"What?! No! That's not possible!" A shrieking Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

Nico snapped her fingers. "Of course! When Dr. Yaotome touched the Gashats while the Bugster was manifesting, her father's backup data must've reacted and been transferred over to Totema-Genomes, since that's similar to the monster form he's taken in the past, resurrecting him as an independent Bugster instead of a mindless servant of Kuroto's!"

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

Kiriya frowned. "Seriously? That seems like a bit of a stretch, don't you think?"

Nico threw up her hands in exasperation. "Oh come on, like it's any more far-fetched than anything else that's happened today!"

…

"Father… Is that really you?" Saiko whispered, struggling to stand up.

"Hold on, Dr. Yaotome, you're suffering from the Gaming Illness, don't overexert yourself," Poppy warned the scientist, forcing her back down. "But Zaizen… Is that you?"

Totema-Genomes, or rather Zaizen, nodded slowly. "Yes… It is me. When Saiko touched the Gashats while the Bugster was manifesting from inside of her, my backup data must've reacted and been transferred over to the gestating virus, allowing me to be resurrected as an independent Bugster instead of a mindless servant of Kuroto Dan's."

…

"Told you," Nico said smugly, folding her arms with a smirk.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

…

"Father… After all this time, I finally brought you back…" Saiko cried, tears running down her cheeks. "Granted, I didn't expect to bring you back like this, but… I can fix this. If you undergo the procedure to convert a Bugster back into human, we should be able to get you back to the way you were in no time! We can start right away!"

Zaizen tilted his head, looking puzzled. "Now why ever would I want to do that?"

Saiko froze, the smile on her face turning brittle. "I'm sorry?"

"Uh-oh… Here we go…" Poppy murmured, eyes narrowing.

Zaizen turned back to the Gashats. "You've been doing excellent work here, daughter. Seeking to use the power of science to restore everyone who was digitized and imprisoned in these cartridges. However… There was no need for you to try to restore their humanity. Why ever would you do such a thing? Especially when the Bugster form is clearly superior to frail, weak humans."

"Father?!" Saiko stammered, confused.

Zaizen glanced back at her. "Don't worry, this mistake can be easily rectified. I once sought to help all of mankind evolve into more perfect beings. Now that I've returned, it is time for me to resume my great work… Starting with all those who have fallen victim to the Bugster virus and are waiting in these Gashats to be saved!"

"Father, no!" A horrified Saiko protested, but Zaizen ignored her, grabbing the Gashats, ripping them out of the computer, spreading his wings and launching upwards, smashing through the ceiling. Poppy quickly pushed Saiko's chair out of the way before any of the debris dislodged by the mutated Bugster's exit could fall on her.

"Are you okay?" Poppy asked Saiko in concern once the dust had settled down. "Other than being infected and slowly dying, that is."

"I-I'm fine," Saiko stammered, looking anything but. "My father… Poppy, you have to stop my father! I don't know what he's planning, but it can't be good!"

Poppy nodded in agreement. "Considering that in the past he's done things like perform illegal surgery on a minor, infected an entire city with the Pac-Man virus – – and turned poor Pac-Man evil, at that! – – And intended to forcibly evolve as many people as he could into "perfect" beings even though the procedure was extremely dangerous, whatever he's up to now can't be much better!" She paused. "… Remind me why you were so desperate to bring him back, again?"

Saiko glared at her. "Look, I know he's not perfect-"

"Bit of an understatement," Poppy murmured under her breath.

"But he's the only father I have!"

"… Yeah, I suppose I can sympathize," Poppy admitted. "I don't exactly have the best creator myself."

…

"Hey!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested as the others snickered.

…

"I'll go after him," Poppy said resolutely, rising to her feet. "Dr. Yaotome, you stay here where it's safe! Too much exertion could worsen the sickness, after all!"

Saiko nodded reluctantly. "I-I understand. Go, Poppy. Do what you have to do."

Poppy nodded and rushed off. After a moment, Saiko forced herself to her feet and started after her. "Just like I have to do what I have to do…"

…

"As do I!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD declared, calling up one of his holographic interfaces.

"What are you doing?" Emu asked as Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD rapidly began inputting code.

"Zaizen has hijacked my game for his own means! This is inexcusable!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled, line after line of text streaming past him. "I'm going to hack into his systems and reset him back to factory standard to get things back on track!" Several error messages flashed on his screen, and he jerked back, grunting as the feedback electrified him. "… Is what I would like to say, except he's constantly rewriting his programming on the fly to block my hacks!"

"Can't you send one of us over instead, to give Poppy a hand?" Parad suggested.

"You don't think I've already thought of that?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "He's turned my firewalls against me as well! Nobody's getting in or out of this space without his say-so!" More error messages flashed on the screen, and he grunted as he was hit by more feedback. "Gah! Much as I hate to admit it, he's actually giving me a… Small amount of difficulty…"

"… Let me help," Kiriya suggested, much to everyone's surprise. "I know my way around Bugster code. I created the basis for a couple of Gashats, didn't I?"

"Let me help as well," Parad said instantly. "Takes a Bugster to beat a Bugster, after all."

"I shall lend my sword as well," Hiiro declared.

"… Do you know how to program?" Taiga asked skeptically.

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro said plainly.

"… Why do you keep saying that?! That answers nothing!" Taiga yelled.

"Yes, it does," Satsuki said. Mizuki nodded in agreement. Taiga threw up his hands in exasperation and gave up.

"What?! No! I refuse! I'm not nearly so desperate as to ask you imbeciles for help!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled. More error messages flashed, and he yelped in pain as he was shocked by more feedback.

"You sure about that?" Nico quipped.

"If it helps, don't think of us as helping you, think of us as helping Poppy," Emu offered.

"Why should that make a difference? She means nothing to me!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD lied. "But… Ugh, fine, I suppose you fools can't possibly make things _worse_ …"

Reluctantly, he sent three holographic screens over to Kiriya, Parad, and Hiiro, who quickly started inputting line after line of code. Everyone else turned their attention back to the screen, as Poppy closed in on her adversary…

…

Racing up the stairwell through teleport hops, Poppy kicked open the door at the top and rushed out onto the roof of the hospital center. Zaizen was hovering in the air, clutching the Kamen Rider Chronicle Master Gashat in one hand and the God Mighty Maximum X Gashat in the other, all 10 proto-Gashats orbiting around him. "Michiko Zaizen! Stop what you're doing right now!"

"And why ever should I do that, Bugster?" Zaizen asked, not even gaining to look at her. "Especially when I'm about to achieve what you and your friends have failed to do over these last few years?"

Poppy frowned. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Ever since the defeat of Masamune Dan, the Doctor Riders of CR, the Ministry of Health, and my daughter have been working tirelessly to find a way to restore everyone who has fallen victim to the Bugster virus," Zaizen recalled. "And all of you have failed."

"That's not fair!" Poppy argued. "Medicine isn't easy! It can take years of work and research to find a treatment that works for any disease. Just because we don't have a solution that can bring everyone back now doesn't mean we won't someday, and we are getting closer every day! As a doctor, you should understand that better than anyone!"

"As a doctor, I _do_ understand," Zaizen confirmed. "And as someone who has been deleted twice, having to hear, "We're working on it, we'll bring them back some day," isn't much comfort to all those trapped in digital purgatory, or the families of those who have been even erased. Which is why it's fortunate that I have been reborn, because now I have the power to save everyone!"

Poppy blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"When I was freed from the Proto-Gashats and placed in this new body born from my daughter, I was able to absorb her research data," Zaizen explained. "That, in combination with my current nature as a Bugster with a human mind and enhanced powers thanks to the upgrades Kuroto Dan has made to this form, leads me to believe that I now have the ability to free EVERYONE trapped in the proto-Gashats, instead of painstakingly releasing one at a time, which you have all been struggling with for quite some time."

…

"Wait, can he do that?!" Asked a startled Nico.

"When he was Genomes, he had the ability to digitize people into his Bugvisor to undergo gene therapy and release them later," Hiiro recalled without looking away from his screen. "If he's really become this much stronger, then theoretically, it should be possible."

"Okay, what's the catch? There has to be a catch. He's a bad guy, after all," Parad pointed out.

"He might not be anymore. Maybe all those years trapped in the virtual world have helped him turn over a new leaf?" Emu proffered hopefully.

"You really think that?" Kiriya asked skeptically, cursing under his breath as another command was rejected.

"… No, not really," Emu confessed with a sigh.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled belatedly. Nobody paid attention to him, or his grunt of pain as he got hit by more feedback.

…

"That's… That's wonderful!" Poppy cried in surprise. "If you do that, you'll make so many people happy!"

Zaizen, nodded. "Yes… And they'll be even happier when I use my increased powers to rewrite their DNA to give them perfect bodies that never have to worry about sickness or injury! There'll be no more need for doctors, because humanity will evolve beyond the need for them!"

…

"And there it is," Taiga groaned.

"Figures that's what he's up to…" Kiriya groaned. "It was his goal last time, too."

"Wait, is this actually a bad thing?" Asked the confused Nico. "I mean, yeah, it's probably crazy illegal and unethical, and it would put you guys out of a job, but… What's wrong with giving people immortal bodies?"

"Putting aside the lack of consent and the massive breaches in ethics, morality, and law, nothing," Hiiro informed her.

"Nothing, that is, except for the fact that his proposed gene therapy will only work on one in 100,000 people, and the remaining 99,999 will die from the procedure," Emu said angrily.

"… Oh. Okay, that's bad," Nico agreed.

…

"You can't do that!" Poppy protested in horror. "Aside from the fact that I highly doubt you were able to get permission to perform this procedure on everyone trapped inside the proto-Gashats… Er, do you have their permission?"

"I don't," Zaizen conceded. "But what difference does that make? I'll improve their lives for the better! And if it frees them from their cyber prison, what right do they have to complain about how I do it?"

"There's also the fact that your procedure only works on one in every 100,000 people!" Poppy continued.

"I've had plenty of time to refine my treatment while I've been away," Zaizen said dismissively. "I have every confidence it will have a higher success rate now. And if they die, they will still be in the proto-Gashats, no worse off than they were before."

"And just how sure are you that this will work?" Poppy demanded.

"Fairly certain," Zaizen remarked. "And if I'm wrong, we'll find out for sure soon enough."

"I can't let you do that!" Poppy insisted angrily. "Their lives aren't just something you can toy with! I've had enough of people who treat human lives as a game they can play with as they please! Someone who doesn't understand the value of life has no right to call themselves a doctor!"

"If this works, I'll be bringing back thousands of people and reuniting them with their families," Zaizen retorted. "I thought you were a Bugster who wants to bring people happiness, Poppy. What joy could possibly come from delaying such a happy event any longer than it already has? Once I have succeeded, everyone shall be smiling again. Is that not your purpose for being?"

Poppy hesitated, feeling a moment of doubt. "I… That's…"

Zaizen grunted in annoyance, and the Gashats orbiting him fell to the ground with a clatter. "It seems to be academic, anyway. I'm close, but I don't have enough power to enact my plan. Not yet, anyway. I just need a little more time."

"… More time? What do you mean by that?" Poppy asked, a feeling of dread crawling up her spine.

"As I am now, I cannot bring everyone back," Zaizen informed her. "But once I'm complete… Well, that's another story."

…

Everyone tensed up. "No…" Taiga whispered, horrified. "Surely… Surely he can't mean…"

"I rather think he does," Hiiro said solemnly.

"Um… Am I missing something?" Nico asked in confusion.

"Nico," Emu said slowly. "How do Bugsters achieve their complete form?"

"Well, by-" Nico froze in midsentence. Her eyes widened. "Fruit Jesus Kazuraba… You mean-"

…

"… The only way for a Bugster to be complete is for their host to die of the Game Disease," Poppy said slowly in dawning horror. She would know this better than just about anyone, considering that her own host, Sakurako Dan, had died "birthing" her.

"Correct."

"Your host is your _daughter_."

"Indeed."

"You're going to bring everyone back… By _killing your daughter_."

…

Nico's jaw dropped. "HOLY SHIT."

Emu sighed. "I'd like to say I expected better of him, but…"

Both Hiiro and Taiga were trembling. "Unforgivable," the surgeon snarled.

"Yeah, he's not getting a card on Father's Day," Kiriya commented with a grimace.

"Still, there are worse fathers…" Parad muttered, glaring at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD nodded. "Yeah, my father was the worst."

"… I wasn't talking about him," Parad grunted.

"Eh?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD uttered, not getting it.

…

Both Bugsters heard a gasp and turned to see Saiko standing in the door back into the hospital, slumped against the door frame, sweat rolling down her face as her body flickered repeatedly from the effort she'd exerted getting up there. "Saiko!" Poppy hissed in alarm. "I told you to stay put!"

"Father," Saiko ground out through clenched teeth, staggering out of the stairwell and onto the rooftop. "Please… Tell me it's not true. Tell me… Tell me you aren't going to kill me…"

"Saiko," Zaizen said gently. "Of course it's not true. I'm not going to kill you."

Saiko sighed in relief.

"I won't need to. Your Disease will do it for me. In a manner of minutes, you will die, and I shall be complete," Zaizen explained calmly.

…

"UNFORGIVABLE!" Hiiro snapped, livid, nearly kissing a keystroke in his fury, much to the shock of his assistants.

"You already said that," Kiriya pointed out.

"That's because it bears saying twice."

"Eh, fair enough."

…

Saiko's jaw dropped, face going pale in horror and disbelief. "F-father?!"

"You bastard!" Poppy hissed, furious.

"Why are you so upset?" Zaizen asked, seeming genuinely confused. "It is not as if she will be truly dead. She will simply be digitized and entombed within one of the Proto-Gashats. And she won't even be there for very long, since her passing will allow me to achieve my full power, and I can bring her back along with everyone else. She will only have left this world for a few moments at most."

"That won't change the fact that you killed her in the first place!" Poppy snapped.

"I told you, I'm not-"

"Of course you're killing her! You're the physical manifestation of the virus ravaging her body!" Poppy interjected angrily. "What sort of father are you, to so callously throw her life away?!"

"It's for the greater good!" Zaizen responded, starting to get annoyed. "It's to bring everyone back! Isn't a goal like that worth doing whatever it takes? Worth making every sacrifice?"

"It is," Poppy agreed coldly. "Except you aren't the one making a sacrifice here. _She_ is."

"And she should be honored to do so!" Zaizen snapped. "For the last few years, she has poured all her time and energy into bringing back the erased! She has done everything humanly possible short of giving up her life to do so… Which means that if giving up her life is what it takes – – especially if it's only temporarily – – why shouldn't she do so? To do any less would be to betray everything she's worked for. If you aren't willing to give up everything, even your life, for your ideals, what sort of person are you? I certainly have!"

 _Is he right?_ Saiko wondered, struck by his rhetoric. _If he really can save everyone… If he can bring them back… And if it will only take a small sacrifice on my part… Wouldn't it be selfish of me not to do it? What's my life compared to all of theirs, and the happiness that will come from finally bringing them back? Maybe… Maybe I should-_

…

"Oh, and now he's trying to emotionally manipulate her into killing herself for his sake? This dude is the worst!" Nico yelled, outraged. She paused, then glanced at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. "Well, one of the worst."

"Hey!"

…

"But you didn't," Poppy interjected.

"What?" Zaizen stammered, confused. "Of course I-"

"No, you didn't," Poppy affirmed. "You didn't die for your ideals. You died because you were performing incredibly illegal surgery on a minor to get money to fund your research, and because you were planning to release a virus that would kill hundreds of thousands of people, in hopes that it would allow a mere fraction of that number to evolve into perfect beings. Unless you're saying that money and genocide are your ideals, in which case, yes, you did die for them. And with that being said…why should she die for _you,_ since it seems pretty clear you can't or won't do the same?"

"Look," Zaizen shouted, starting to lose his temper. "What does any of that matter?! Surely the ends justify the means here! One life for thousands, including that one life! One life to give thousands, including that one life, a chance at perfection!"

"Your definition of perfection may not be the same as everyone else's," Poppy countered. "How sure are you that things will even turn out the way you want them to? Have you even been able to test out this new procedure of yours?"

"You know I haven't!" Zaizen snarled in irritation. "Given that I've been trapped in cyberspace for the last several years!"

"Then how do you know it will work?" Poppy pressed.

"It will work!"

"But how do you _know_?"

"Because it will! I won't allow it to happen any other way!" Zaizen bellowed. Frustrated, he whirled on his daughter. "Saiko! Enough of this! Come with me, and we can set everything right!"

Saiko froze. This was what she wanted all these years, wasn't it? To bring everyone back, especially her father? To be with him again, and to save lives together? This was what she had always wanted. There was no reason for her to hesitate. No reason at all.

So why was she unable to take a single step forward?

" _Saiko!"_ Losing his patience, Zaizen surged forwards to grab her…

And Poppy lashed out with her Bugvisor II, slashing into his side. "Gah!" He cried, staggering back. "What do you think you're-"

"I'm not going to let you get any closer to her!" The normally kind and friendly Bugster growled, her face twisted into an uncharacteristic expression of anger.

"Poppy… Why…" Saiko stammered.

"Because you're my patient, and my friend," Poppy replied without looking back. "And I won't let anyone, especially not this monster who dares to call himself your father – – no offense, I know it's a bit of a touchy subject – – hurt you!"

"Hurt… I'm not trying to hurt her or anyone!" Zaizen yelled, infuriated. "I'm trying to save lives here!"

"By killing your daughter," Poppy retorted.

"She'll get better!"

"Yeah, you're not really helping your case here," Poppy said bluntly.

"All I'm trying to do is save the lives of everyone who's been erased by the Bugster virus! Make everything better!" Zaizen shouted. "That's what you want as well! That's what _everyone_ wants! _So why are you standing in my way?!"_

"Call me crazy, but I have a little trouble trusting someone who nearly killed my boyfriend with illegal surgery, released a dangerous virus onto the city, corrupted poor Pac-Man, was going to unwillingly transform as many people as he could into "perfect" beings despite the fact that it would cause the deaths of thousands, and doesn't seem to have any qualms about sacrificing his daughter for his definition of the "greater good,"" Poppy retorted.

"It doesn't matter whether or not you trust me," Zaizen protested. "I am the only person who can do this! I'm the only one with the power to set everything right, to succeed where everyone else has failed!"

"No, you're not," Poppy rejected. "Your daughter is."

Saiko started. "Wh-what?!"

"What?!" Zaizen roared.

"Dr. Yaotome is a brilliant scientist and an amazing doctor," Poppy said proudly. "She's done things none of us could dream of with regenerative medicine, and has come closer to cracking the code to bringing everyone back than any of us. She's already brought back plenty of people, including my friend Kiriya! It's only a matter of time before she finds the solution to bring back everyone else as well! I have faith that with a little more time, she can do it, and save everyone!" She smiled and finally glanced back at the astonished Saiko. "Which is why… We don't need you or your dangerous untested solution. Because she is all that we need. She's a better doctor, and a better _person_ , than you ever were, or ever will be."

Trembling, Saiko started crying. "Poppy… You really think so?"

"I know so," Poppy said confidently.

"Even though I tricked your friends and tried to overwrite your personality to become Sakurako Dan?"

Poppy shrugged. "Water under the bridge. I blame Kuroto for that, anyway."

…

Emu smiled proudly, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "That's the girl I felt in love with."

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

…

"So that's how it's going to be? You're going to risk the lives of thousands of people, and throw away a chance to save them all, for sentiment? Fine!" Zaizen snarled, throwing away all traces of civility. "Tearing you apart should provide enough distress to force my daughter to her breaking point and hasten my completion."

"I'd point out that doing so would ruin any chance of a relationship with her once this is all over, but I'm pretty sure you don't care about that anymore, assuming you ever did," Poppy growled.

"After I've saved everyone, she'll understand that I was in the right to do what I did," Zaizen argued.

Poppy glanced at Saiko. "That sound right to you, Dr. Yaotome?"

Saiko glared at her father, finding her resolve. "For years, I defended you, father. Everyone told me that you were a monster, but I claimed that despite everything, you were a good man at heart, that they couldn't possibly know you the way I did. Now I see that they were right all along. You're every bit the villain everyone made you out to be, and I am disgusted to think that we could possibly be related, or that I wasted so much time trying to bring you back."

"And is that supposed to mean something to me?" Zaizen growled, unimpressed.

Saiko shook her head, holding back tears. "The fact that it does not only proves my point. Give him hell, Poppy."

Poppy nodded as her Bugster Buckle II materialized around her waist. "I don't like to fight, Dr. Zaizen. I'm a fun-loving Bugster at heart, who just wants to smile and dance and play with the people I care about. I don't hate anyone, really. It's not in my programming to. Even Kuroto I find myself more disappointed by then outright angry."

…

"It's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled. "And I don't care if you're disappointed me, Poppy! You're not my mom!" He whined.

"I think he does care," Nico whispered to Taiga. He nodded in agreement.

…

"But you?" Poppy continued. "You… I can't find anything redeeming about you at all. I can't honestly say I'm going to take pleasure in this. But… For what you trying to do to your daughter, for making her cry… There can be no forgiveness."

She raised a Gashat.

 **| TOKI MEKI CRISIS! |**

A holographic screen appeared behind her, showing a picture of a girl resembling herself with the words 'Toki Meki Crisis' enclosed within a heart above the words -GAME START-.

As colorful icons flew from the screen, she snapped her Bugvisor II into her belt and did a twirl, extending the Gashat in her hand to the side. "Henshin!"

She inserted the Gashat into her Driver.

 **| CLICK AND LOAD! BUG IT UP! |**

A holographic screen flashing in a variety of different colors materialized before her as a star appeared beneath her feet and various special effects and lens flares went off around her, colored lights and sparkles glomming onto her body to form a suit.

 **| A GIRL'S GOTTA DREAM! IT'S A SIMULATION OF LOVE! A GIRL'S HEART IS ALWAYS A TOKI MEKI CRISIS! |**

As shooting stars and color swooshes swirled around her, she struck a pose as a large pink heart burst in the air behind her, now Kamen Rider Poppy, Toki Meki Crisis Gamer Level X!

"Great, now you're a magical girl. Is that supposed to impress me?" Zaizen asked, looking bored.

"Don't look down on magical girls! We're a lot tougher than we look!" Poppy declared, brandishing her Bugvisor II its weapon form and charging towards Zaizen, lashing out with her chainsaw.

The rogue Bugster spread his wings, which glowed and emitted a burst of light, temporarily blinding Poppy as he rose into the air. "And I, on the other hand, am EXACTLY as tough as I look!" His wings flashed again, and dozens of gilded razor-edged feathers launched themselves off of them and streaked through the air towards Poppy like guided missiles.

"So not very tough at all, then?" Poppy quipped, doing a series of incredibly agile and athletic cartwheels and flips, lithely dodging the feathers while either slashing her weapon through the air or firing it to repel any feathers that got too close to her.

Zaizen responded by spreading his wings wider, the metal feathers glinting as sunlight reflected off of them. That glint grew brighter as the wings lit up, firing massive laser beams which started sweeping chaotically across the rooftop, the beams far too wide and closely-woven for Poppy to evade.

So she didn't bother. She back flipped onto the top of the stairwell leading back into the building, out of range of the lasers, then started peppering the rogue Bugster with energy shots. Zaizen grunted, instinctively folding his wings around himself to serve as a shield, and Poppy took advantage of that moment of blindness to take a running leap off the top of the stairwell, revving up her chainsaw-like blade to strike the minute she got in range.

Zaizen opened his wings… And revealed that in his claws, he'd formed a massive skull wreathed in blue flames. The skull started cackling maniacally as Zaizen hurled it at Poppy, the projectile exploding on collision and flinging her backwards, wailing, over the side of the building, engulfed in spectral fire.

…

"POPPY!" Emu cried in horror.

"Relax, lover-boy, she's a tough girl, she can take it," Parad grunted, sticking out his tongue as the continued coding, wincing slightly as he got hit by another burst of feedback.

"Was Zaizen able to do something like that before? Or is that one of Totema's tricks?" Taiga asked with a frown.

"Neither, it looks like he's rewritten his own code to give himself new abilities," Kiriya reported, squinting at the characters streaming past on his screen.

"That's cheating!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled angrily.

"Oh, so it's only fine when you do it?" Nico snarked.

"… Shut up," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled.

…

As she tumbled end over end, Poppy managed to regain her bearings, thrusting her chainsaw into the side of the building as she plummeted to arrest her fall. Yelping, she frantically tried to extinguish the ghostly flames enveloping her form by patting them out…

And so was blindsided when a dozen feather missiles smashed into her with a tremendous explosion, blasting her through the wall and into a laboratory on the other side, startling the scientists hard at work as she smashed through computer servers and racks of very delicate equipment. Vials of chemicals smashed to the ground and mixed together, having volatile reactions which caused small bursts of flame to erupt all over the room, triggering the sprinklers and dousing everyone in the lab as the fire alarm started blaring obnoxiously.

"Sorry about this, everyone!" Poppy apologized as she pulled herself out of the wreckage of a multi-million-dollar electron microscope. "You can bill the Ministry of Health for this… Oh, poop," she groaned as Zaizen descended into view through the hole she'd entered through. "Yeah, you guys might want to start running."

The researchers frantically rushed for the exit as Zaizen opened his hands, conjuring a flaming blue skull in each one, and released them into the air. Cackling, the skulls opened their mouths and started spewing blue energy bullets into the lab, sparks flying and more small explosions erupting all over the place as the projectiles struck whatever volatile chemicals or pieces of equipment hadn't already been destroyed by Poppy's unwilling entry into the room.

Poppy started racing across the lab, the skulls floating into the hole and chasing after her, laughing and spraying more bullets. She glanced over her shoulder to return fire, only to trip over an overturned chair, but took advantage of the resulting air time to gracefully spin around to face her pursuers and fire two bursts down their gullets, causing them to explode in an azure conflagration. "Bull's-eye!"

That's when Zaizen burst through the wall and slammed into her, smashing through several racks of equipment and breaking through the far wall into a hallway, startling the scientists who'd escaped from the lab and sending them running for their lives once more as fire alarms blared throughout the building.

"What are you doing?!" Poppy cried as Zaizen hurled her to the floor. "You're tearing this place apart!"

"And?" The rogue Bugster asked callously, stalking towards her.

"This is a clinic! There are patients here! This is where your daughter works!" Poppy yelled as she staggered to her feet. "If this place comes down-"

"Then they shall be revived along with everyone else once I have attained my full power," Zaizen said with an indifferent shrug.

"I'm pretty sure that only counts for people who are DIRECTLY killed by a Bugster or the virus!" Poppy protested.

"We'll find out for sure soon enough," Zaizen said, charging energy into hand before punching the floor, causing blue explosions to erupt all over the place and collapse the hallway, dropping them to a lower floor.

Poppy landed rather painfully on her rear, while Zaizen gracefully descended, supported by his wings. Glancing around, Poppy noticed that they had landed in a cafeteria, and researchers, patients, and visitors were scrambling to get out of the way, leaving half-eaten meals on the tables they vacated in their urgency to get to safety. "At least let me use Stage Select!" Poppy pleaded. "We don't have to fight here!"

"As you said before, this is my daughter's workplace. It's important to her," Zaizen declared. "She has friends and colleagues here. Threatening their lives will make her succumb to the sickness that much faster."

Turning to face some of the terrified civilians frantically trying to push their way through the exits, he spread his wings, firing heat-seeking feathers at them.

"NO!" Poppy jumped as high she could, bouncing off of Zaizen's head and stunning the rogue Bugster, and flipped through the air to land in front of the crowd, spreading her arms to protect them. The missiles struck her and the ground around her, her screams mingling with those of the humans as she vanished in a tremendous conflagration.

…

"POPPY!" Emu yelled, horrified.

"Fruit Jesus, this guy may even be worse than you, Kuroto!" Cried a disbelieving Kiriya.

"He is not!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD insisted. "And it's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!"

"Guys, how's the hacking going?" An anxious Taiga asked.

Hiiro scowled at the holographic display in front of him, as if it had gravely offended him somehow. "Not well."

"He's rewriting his code faster than we can take it apart," Parad grunted, flinching slightly as he got shocked by feedback. "On the plus side, with all four of us going at him at once, it's taking up a lot of his processing power, so he can't focus completely on Poppy."

"He's doing all that, and he's not even running at full capacity?!" An incredulous Nico demanded.

"Both Totema and Genomes are powerful and unique Bugsters. With both their powers combined…" Satsuki uttered gravely.

"Come on, Poppy. Please…" Emu begged.

…

As the extinguishers turned on and doused the cafeteria in artificial rain, the flames engulfing Poppy died down, revealing that she had survived the explosion, though she wasn't in the best of shape. Sparks were flying from her joints, cracks had formed across her visor and Driver, and her armor looked scorched and partially melted in places. Even so, she was still standing, though she looked as if she was having a little trouble staying on her feet.

Zaizen cocked his head, impressed. "So, you still have some fight in you?"

Wordlessly, Poppy drew her Bugvisor II, pointing it at her foe.

"What is the point?" Zaizen asked, bemused. "Surely you must know by now that you can't win. We've barely been fighting for more than a moment, and already you're on the verge of defeat."

"This Bugster girl… Is tougher than she looks…" Poppy panted.

"But are you tough enough?" Zaizen queried, beginning to form another burning skull.

Poppy's grip on her weapon tightened. "As long as there are patients in need… As long as I can bring a smile to someone else's face.… I will keep fighting. To do any less would be to break my oath as a nurse, and as a Kamen Rider!"

"Then you shall die, as so many other female Riders have before you," Zaizen scoffed, the skull now half again as big as he was.

"Maybe I will," Poppy admitted, glaring at her adversary with unwavering determination. "But not before I make sure you can't hurt your daughter, or anyone else, ever again!"

She glanced over her shoulder at the terrified civilians behind her, flashing them a reassuring smile, not caring that they couldn't really see it due to her mask. "Don't worry," she told him gently. "Everything will be okay."

"You really shouldn't tell lies," Zaizen quipped. "It's unbecoming."

He hurled the skull.

"Then it's a good thing I'm not lying," Poppy replied, double-pressing the B button on her Bugvisor II.

 **| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL CREWS-AID! |**

Charging herself with rainbow energy, she floated in the air and started twirling continuously forwards, flinging pink hearts and yellow stars before her. The projectiles slammed into the skull, slowing it down as Poppy's spinning body kept generating them, and then she collided with it, slashing at it with her chainsaw. The skull exploded in a tremendous tumult of blue flame…

And much to Zaizen's astonishment, Poppy, came out the other side, wreathed in flames and rainbow energy, still spinning. "What?!"

"I told you not to underestimate a magical girl!" She shouted as she twirled towards him. Zaizen tried to get out of the way, but wasn't quite fast enough, and Poppy blazed past, slashing through him as she went with her chainsaw, severing his left arm just above the elbow and destroying a few of his wings, gilded feathers flying everywhere.

Crying out in pain and surprise, Zaizen tumbled through the air and crashed into the buffet, shattering the sneeze guard and faceplanting into the grill, crying in even more pain as the superheated appliance burned him. Poppy gracefully twirled to a stop on the ground on the other side of the room. She turned and bowed to the civilians, who clapped enthusiastically…

And then Poppy grunted, falling to one knee. The humans gasped. "Are you all right, Miss Rider?!" A little girl wearing a backpack with a Poppy Pipopapo keychain dangling from the side.

"I'm okay," Poppy assured her, impressed by her excellent taste. "I'm better off than the other guy!"

"Are you, now?!" Zaizen roared as he ripped himself out of the buffet, sending bits of glass, food, and metal flying all over the place. His remaining wings rattled, several of them retracting into his body before emerging from the other side to replace the ones Poppy had cut off, while another wing sprouted from the stump of his severed arm. "It is always a bad idea to count your chickens before they hatch, Rider!"

…

"Okay, that's kinda disgusting," said a freaked-out Nico.

"He's rewritten his code enough to give himself some sort of messed-up regenerative ability?!" an incredulous Taiga demanded.

"Actually, that was my idea," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD confessed awkwardly.

Everyone stared him. "What," Emu said flatly.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said defensively.

"How could that possibly be a good idea?!" Nico demanded.

"Because I wanted to make a Bugster you couldn't defeat, obviously," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped, as if it were obvious. "Also, I thought it would make him look a little like Safer Sephiroth."

Parad regarded the mutated Bugster for a moment. "… Yeah, I can kind of see it…"

"Not as pretty, though," Nico complained.

Emu slowly started walking towards Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. Parad and Kiriya quickly grabbed him by the arms to restrain him. "Emu, no, don't kill him!" Parad protested. "… Wow, can't believe I'm saying that."

"We need him to help Poppy! You can kill him afterwards," Kiriya assured him soothingly.

"I'd rather you didn't kill me at all," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD complained.

"You don't get a say in that," Hiiro said bluntly.

Emu seemed to consider this for a moment. "… You know, we could probably settle this so much faster if I just leveled up and used my Gashacon Keyslasher-"

"Won't work," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said a little too quickly.

Parad frowned. "Why not? That thing can reprogram just about any Bugster's code, can't it?"

"Not this one," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD rapidly denied.

"Why not-"

"Oh, look, Zaizen's about to attack Poppy! Oh no, Poppy, look out!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled in a desperate attempt to change the subject, drawing everyone's attention back to the monitor. _Whew! That was a close one! If he'd actually tried leveling up, then the jig would be up for sure_! Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD thought, relieved that they'd fallen for it. _Of course, if Poppy dies, then everything is ruined anyway… Dammit, Poppy! Why did you have to go and get involved?!_ He growled inwardly, returning his focus to his coding _. …And why did I have to do such a good job creating these things, anyway?! Curse my immaculate genius! But not really, because I love it so much. And soon, everyone else will love it too…_

…

Poppy stared at Zaizen for a moment, looking somewhat exhausted. "Right. Of course you can keep going. Naturally, it wouldn't be that easy." She started revving up her chainsaw. "All right then. I'm not done yet, either. Not while there's still lives on the line. Okay! Time for you see what I'm REALLY made of!"

She charged towards Zaizen, energy crackling around her chainsaw.

The wicked Bugster cackled, charging up energy into the claws on his remaining hand, and swung the appendage up to meet Poppy's chainsaw, catching it between the digits, sparks flying as the two weapons clashed mightily. Zaizen swung the wing that had become his left hand at Poppy's side, but she deflected it with a side kick, then hooked her leg around his waist and pulled him close, jerking her right arm down to pull his claws along with her chainsaw and punch him between the eyes with her free hand. "Pipopapo PUNCH!"

Snarling, he swiped his wing arm at her head, striking her with a resounding blow that twisted her head to the side, and ripped her chainsaw free from the claws. As she staggered back, she immediately regained her footing and pivoted on one heel and swiped her chainsaw back up and down in a powerful overhand chop. Zaizen raised his claws to meet it, but at the last second Poppy twisted her weapon so that instead of getting caught between his digits she sliced right through them, shattering the talons.

"Let's see you replace THOSE with wings!" She crowed as she danced backwards, Zaizen snarling with rage.

"I don't need to!" Zaizen replied as some of the feathers in his wings retracted, emerging from the broken ends of his claws. " _These_ will suffice!"

He thrust his arm forward, firing the feathers at Poppy. She switched her Bugvisor II to its blaster mode and shot the feathers out of the air, but in that moment of distraction Zaizen conjured a pair of flaming skulls which floated to either side of Poppy before opening their mouths and releasing a spray of energy bullets at her. She ducked just in time, causing the bullets to collide in midair and explode in a blue conflagration and rolled across the floor, firing two blasts upwards to dispel the skulls in bursts of flame.

A shadow fell over her as Zaizen tried to cave her head in with a powerful stop, but she rolled away just in time, the foot impacting the floor hard enough to dent it, and swiped up with her chainsaw, slicing through his shin and causing him to hop backwards, howling in surprise. Poppy surged to her feet and rushed forwards, thrusting her chainsaw into Zaizen's chest, the teeth tearing through his armor, before ripping it out, switching it to its blaster mode, and opening fire at point-blank range, causing an explosion which tore apart his chest armor and flung him backwards.

"Ugh… Impossible… You're just a Bugster from a dancing game! How can you be this powerful?!" Zaizen demanded, incredulous, as he clutched the ugly wound in his chest.

"Because I'm not just a Bugster, but a Kamen Rider! I fight for love and justice, and the life of the patient!" Poppy declared dramatically, immediately winning quite a few fans among the civilians, who, for one reason or another, still hadn't evacuated the room.

"And what makes you think you will not suffer the same fate as so many of the other female Riders?" Zaizen growled.

"Hey, that hardly ever happens anymore!" Poppy said defensively. "And even if it does… It wouldn't be the first time I've died. And besides, I made sure to back myself up so I wouldn't have a repeat of the LAST time I died. Everyone was so sad when they thought I was gone forever…"

"As are the friends and loved ones of everyone who has fallen victim to the Gaming Disease, or anyone who's ever died!" Zaizen retorted. "I'm trying to put a stop to that! To cure death! And yet you insist on standing in my way!"

He turned to look at their audience. "Do you hear me? I am trying to bring back the fallen! To make sure no one has to suffer and die again! And yet somehow, I _am_ the evil one?"

"Considering that there's no guarantee your plan will even work, the fact that you don't seem to care how many people get hurt or killed to achieve your goal, and the fact that you plan to _sacrifice your own daughter_ to fulfill your dreams, yes, I'd say you are!" Poppy retorted. Several of the civilians, more than a few of whom were parents there with their children, gasped and held their offspring tight when they heard this, shooting Zaizen looks of disgust and outrage.

"Making a better world always requires sacrifice!" Zaizen argued. "And if it will objectively lead to a better future, are we not morally obligated to do whatever it takes to make that world a reality, no matter what the cost?"

"Maybe, maybe not… But I'm fairly certain that no world you envision could possibly be better than the one we're in now!" Poppy replied.

"And that," Zaizen growled as his halo lit up and detached from his back, spinning rapidly and throwing off sparks. "Is why you will fail! Why you will ALL fail!"

The halo shot forwards. Poppy braced herself…

And was surprised when it whizzed right over her head. "Huh? Where is-"

The halo kept flying, slicing right through one of the support columns. Poppy gasped, realizing what was about to happen. "NO! Everyone, OUT!"

Screaming in panic, the civilians once more rushed for the exit as the halo spun around the room, slicing through each of the remaining support columns, the roof groaning and cracking with each destroyed pillar. As Zaizen laughed and floated back into the air , you the large hole in the ceiling, one of the broken pillars fell in front of the exit doors, blocking off escape. The terrified humans desperately tried to push or force their way through the gaps, while those on the other side frantically tried to help pull them through.

Seeing cracks zigzagging right above the civilian's heads, Poppy realized they weren't going to make it in time. Shouting at the top of her lungs, she rushed towards them…

And the ceiling caved in, a tremendous cloud of debris and dust billowing up as tons of ceramic, metal, plaster, and cement came crashing down on the cafeteria and all still trapped in it.

…

Everyone stared at the screen, horrified. Even Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD was speechless.

"No…" Emu whispered, falling to his knees.

"She… She was in her Rider form. She probably survived that…" Parad said hesitantly, not looking entirely sure like he believed it. "… Right?"

"Kuroto," Hiiro said slowly. "If Poppy is dead, we shall kill you so thoroughly that you will never, EVER try to come back again, for fear of what we will do to you should you cross our paths again." Taiga and Kiriya solemnly nodded in agreement.

Uncharacteristically, Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD did not correct them for getting his name wrong. Even more uncharacteristically, a tiny, miniscule part of him thought that if Poppy were dead, he'd deserve whatever was coming to him.

…

After the dust had settled, and there were no indications of further structural damage, Zaizen floated back down into the rubble-strewn heap that had once been a vibrant eatery. "And that," he said triumphantly. "Would seem to be the end of-"

There was the grind of stone against stone, and one of the large slabs of fallen ceiling slowly began to rise, pebbles, pieces of rebar, and bits of cable sliding off of it. Zaizen stared, flabbergasted, as Poppy Pipopapo appeared from underneath the slab, raising it above her head like a female Atlas, her suit covered in dust. "Is everyone okay?" She called to the dozen or so dusty humans huddled in disbelief around her feet, all those who had been unlucky enough to get caught in the room before they could escape.

"We're… We're alive?" A doctor whispered in disbelief, blinking through his utterly broken glasses, clearly unable to believe what he was seeing, or not seeing, rather.

"Of course we are!" Cheered a little girl, the same one Poppy had noticed earlier who had a Poppy keychain. "Kamen Rider saved us!"

Poppy chuckled and, with some effort, hurled the piece of ceiling aside. "Of course I did," she said gently, ruffling the hair of the child. "I couldn't let anything happen to a girl with such amazing fashion sense as yourself, could I?"

The girl giggled, and the other humans started laughing as well, a touch hysterically perhaps, but it was laughter all the same, as they exalted in the realization that, despite everything, they were still alive.

…

Everyone sighed in relief. "Thank Malika," Satsuki said in fervent gratitude.

"You're welcome," Mizuki said, her eyes flashing briefly.

"What?"

"What?"

"She did it…" Emu whispered, tears running down his cheeks beneath his map.

"Of course she did," Parad said proudly. "Poppy's a bad ass!"

"Okay, I'm starting to want to be her when I grow up," Nico confessed.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD fidgeted awkwardly. "So, does this mean the threat from before no longer applies-"

"Don't push it," Taiga said coldly.

"Right. Of course."

…

"Remarkable. Despite half the building collapsing on you, you survived," Zaizen murmured, impressed. "But then, it's hardly a surprise. You're a Bugster. You're made of sterner stuff than most people. And yet, you still stand in my way, even though I could grant similar durability to many?"

"You're darn right I am," Poppy boasted.

"Are you truly so selfish, wishing to keep such strength yourself, and denying it to many?" Zaizen demanded.

"I don't think someone willing to murder his own daughter has the right to lecture me about selfishness," Poppy retorted, the people she'd saved cheering for her.

"Will you stop bringing that up?!" Zaizen snapped, losing his temper.

"You'll have to kill me first," Poppy challenged.

"If you insist!" Zaizen hurled a massive blue flaming skull at her. As she ushered the haggard and slightly dazed civilians out of the way, Poppy braced herself, trying to block the attack with her Bugvisor II… But in her damaged and weakened state, it wasn't enough, and the skull exploded with a blast that flung her through one of the few floor-to-ceiling windows on the other end of the room that had miraculously not been destroyed by the ceiling caving in.

As she tumbled through the air outside, a blur of red and gold shot out of the building and slammed into her, Zaizen wrapping his arms around her and pinning her tightly to his chest. "Let's take a flight, shall we?"

Spreading his remaining wings, he rocketed into the sky, parting the clouds with a sonic boom as he rapidly accelerated out of view. A large crowd of researchers, doctors, patients, visitors, and other people who had either witnessed the fight so far, or been made aware of it by all the explosions and trembling that had shook the building, raced outside, peering up into the sky to try and catch a glimpse of their heroine and her adversary, but to no avail.

"Poppy…" Saiko whispered, struggling not to keel over, almost fully transparent now. "Please… Don't fail now…"

"She's gonna win, miss!" the little girl with the Poppy keychain, currently being held so tightly by her mother it didn't seem as if she'd ever let go of her again, chirped happily. "She's a Kamen Rider! They always win!"

 _Clearly she hasn't been paying attention, or someone hasn't gotten around to telling her about the high mortality rate among female Riders,_ Saiko thought bitterly. However, as she gazed around her many friends, colleagues, coworkers, and other people who had come out to watch the fight, she found her hopes rising at the looks of joy on their faces, realizing they were mirrors of her own. _Then again, maybe she is onto something. After all, if you can't trust in God or Buddha, you can always rely on Kamen Rider._

"Come on, Kamen Rider!" Someone in the crowd shouted.

"KAMEN RIDER! KAMEN RIDER! KAMEN RIDER!" They all started cheering. Saiko wasn't particular surprised when her voice joined theirs.

As they rose higher and higher into the sky, Poppy struggled with all her might to free herself from Zaizen. "Let go of me!" She cried.

"Considering our altitude, that might not be the wisest choice of words," the villain reminded her.

"I can take it! Probably. Where are you taking me?!" She demanded.

"We are already here."

"Huh? What are you-"

Poppy trailed off when she saw where they were.

Beneath them, the Earth sprawled out in every direction, the planet's curvature visible on the distant horizon. Below them clouds swirled, oceans flowed, and Japan and most of the Asian continent sprawled out, her home country seeming so small and fragile from this height. Above them was the blackness of space, with a faint twinkling of stars off in the distance.

"A remarkable view, isn't it?" Zaizen spoke up, correctly deducing Poppy's silence for awe.

"It's… It's pipopapoperfect," she whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"It seems so small from up here, doesn't it?" Zaizen continued. "As if all our petty concerns and fights mean nothing in the grand scale of things."

"Yeah," she agreed breathlessly.

"It is this world that I wish to save," Zaizen went on. "And I shall allow nothing to get in my way. Farewell."

And then he let go.

And that might've been the end of things, then and there, if Poppy hadn't seen this coming. The instant Zaizen released her, her arm shot downwards, driving her chainsaw right through his knee. As he howled in agony, she used the blade as leverage, ripping through his leg as she flipped up and over him, landing on his back and wrapping an arm around his throat. "Gah! Get off! What do you think you're doing?!" He roared as he flailed about, trying to shake her off.

"Clipping this angel's wings," Poppy replied, double-tapping the B button on her Bugvisor II and revving the chainsaw.

 **| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL CREWS-AID! |**

Crying at the top of her lungs, she drove her chainsaw into Zaizen's back.

Zaizen screamed louder than he had throughout the battle so far…

And then, with a terrific explosion, his wings and halo disintegrated, and the two Bugsters plummeted, wailing, towards the planet far below.

…

"POPPY!" Emu yelled.… Again.

"Holy shit!" Nico cried, for lieu of anything else to say.

"She's still alive," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said quickly, glancing at a readout, the threat from before still on his mind.

"But for how much longer? Surely she can't survive reentry!" Taiga pointed out. "Her suit can't protect her from that, can it?"

"Of course it can! Um, can't it?" Parad asked, glancing anxiously at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"Of course it can! Probably," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD said, not seeming so sure.

"Even if it can, would it also survive the impact?" A concerned Satsuki pointed out.

"… Let me get back to you on that," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD murmured, quickly crunching some numbers.

"Isn't there anything we can do to help her?" Mizuki asked anxiously.

"Not unless we can open a warp point to get bring her back here," Parad said.

"Can we do that?" Emu asked desperately.

"No," Hiiro said, scowling at his display.

"Seriously? You guys still haven't cracked the firewall yet?!" Nico demanded in exasperation.

"This isn't exactly easy, you know," an annoyed Kiriya pointed out.

"There's like four of you working on this, and only one of him!" Nico retorted.

"And just how much do you know about hacking, young lady?" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered.

She hesitated. "Well, not a lot, but-"

"Because I can assure you, it's a lot harder than the movies make it look," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snapped. "… Granted, it shouldn't be this hard. I blame the rest of you, you must be holding me back."

"We COULD stop coding, you know," Kiriya said pointedly.

"… Proceed," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD grumbled.

"Can you all stop arguing and figure out something that will save my girlfriend?!" Emu demanded.

"No need, her parachute just opened," Hiiro observed.

"What?" Everyone turned back to the screen to see that a heart-shaped parachute with an image of Poppy in her Rider form making a V sign with her fingers on the top had opened from Poppy's back, and she was now gently descending back to the city below.

"… Kuroto, did you install a parachute in her suit?" Taiga asked slowly.

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD! And no, I did not," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD admitted, looking as dumbfounded as everyone else.

"Poppy!" Emu yelled. "Are you all right?" I

" _I've been better,"_ she replied. " _That last explosion nearly did me in… But yeah, I'm okay."_

"Poppy, why do you have a parachute?" Parad demanded.

" _Oh, I packed it this morning, just in case I found myself falling through the stratosphere to my death,"_ Poppy explained, as if it were completely normal to do such a thing.

"… That makes absolutely no sense," Nico protested in disbelief.

" _And yet here I am now, not falling to my death, because I have a parachute,"_ Poppy pointed out cheerfully. _"So clearly I was onto something! Maybe the rest of YOU should start bringing parachutes into work every day."_

"… You know, given the way our lives work, she may have a point," Kiriya reluctantly admitted.

Hiiro grimaced. "I hate that you're probably right."

Taiga facepalmed. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but… I don't suppose you know where we could get good parachutes cheap?"

" _Sure, I'll give you guys the address once I get back_ ," Poppy replied amiably. _"Which shouldn't be much longer now, I'm about to land!"_

…

The crowd gathered outside the Seito University Hospital Center for Regenerative Medicine burst into applause as Poppy glided down towards them, whooping and cheering and chanting, "KAMEN RIDER! KAMEN RIDER! KAMEN RIDER!"

Poppy waved to them as she came in for a landing, detaching the lines of her parachute as she touched down so as not to get tangled up in it. "Thank you! Thank you so much! I love you all!" She cried, causing them to cheer even louder.

Saiko burst from the crowd and staggered over, nearly tackling Poppy over. She gave the Bugster Rider a hug. "Poppy! I'm so glad you're all right! And… Why did you have a parachute?"

"Oh, I packed up this morning, just in case," Poppy said offhandedly. "But of course I'm fine! It would take a little more than a plunge through the atmosphere to do this Rider girl in, just like it took a lot more than a nasty infection to do you in-"

She paused. "Wait… Why are you still transparent?"

She got her answer when a tremendous blue flaming skull slammed into her from behind, exploding in a blast of cerulean flames. The crowd gasped in horror. Saiko screamed.

And Poppy just stood there, stunned, before falling to her knees, her transformation canceling. She stared blankly straight ahead, not seeming to notice the terrified Saiko shaking her shoulders, or motes of light drifting off of her as her body began to fade, or the deranged laughter of Zaizen as the rogue Bugster limped over, most of his body charred black from reentry, his remaining Totema armor warped and melted almost beyond recovery, his every motion accompanied by a sickening twitch as bolts of static arced around him and motes of light drifted from his many wounds.

"It would take a little more than a plunge through the atmosphere to do this Bugster in as well," Zaizen said coldly, gathering what little power he had left for a final blow.

…

"POPPY!" Emu cried, yet again.

"Emu, don't worry, she backed herself up, remember?" Parad reminded him.

"Yeah, but if she dies, Saiko **'s** next!" An outraged Kiriya pointed out.

Parad blinked. "Oh, right. That would be bad."

"YOU THINK?!"

…

"NO!" Saiko staggered in front of the fading Poppy, spreading her arms out to shield her. "Father, this has gone on long enough! If you want to kill her, you'll have to kill me as well!"

"I'm killing you anyway. It's the only way to fulfill my plans," Zaizen pointed out.

Saiko blanched. "… Oh. Right. I did not think this through."

"You'll have to go through me too!" The little girl with the Poppy keychain cried, racing out to join Saiko.

"The rest of us, as well!" Several of the other civilians rushed to join Saiko and the little girl in protecting Poppy.

"N… No… Don't…" Poppy whispered faintly, a tear rolling down her cheek before disintegrating.

Zaizen shrugged and continue charging up. "Very well. You shall die along with her. Don't worry, I'll bring all of you back soon enough. You may even thank me for it."

He prepared to throw his final flaming skull…

And abruptly, the flames dissipated. Zaizen looked down at his hand in surprise. "What? What just-"

He cried out in agony, falling to his knees and convulsing as arcs of electricity coursed through him, sparks flying from his body. The last parts of his Totema armor and the wing that replaced his left arm vaporized, leaving him in his base Genome form… And a moment later, that began to fade as well, the particles of light drifting off of his body, increasing in magnitude as the edges of his frame began to disintegrate. "No… No, no, NO! Not now!"

…

"Huh? What's going on?" Asked the startled Kiriya.

"It looks like he's dying," said the confused Taiga.

"But why? Did his body finally give out on him?" Parad wondered.

"No," Hiiro said, drawing everyone's attention. They turned to see him smiling proudly at his screen, which was flashing brightly, lines and lines of code streaming across it. "There is nothing I cannot cut."

…

"It's over, father," Saiko told the distraught Zaizen, finding no joy in watching the monster that had once been her father slowly die before her. He may have been planning to kill her, yes, but she was still her father, and nothing would ever be able to change that. "I'm sorry it had to be this way, but-"

"No. No!" Zaizen bellowed, staggering to his feet. "I will not be beaten by those self-styled heroes! Not again!"

He extended a hand. The 12 Gashats he'd stolen from his daughter earlier appeared, flying down from the rooftop and circling around him. He snatched Kamen Rider Chronicle and God Maximum Mighty Action X out of the air, clutching them in his sole remaining hand. "I WILL save everyone who's been erased… Whether they like it or not!"

With a roar of pain and fury, he drove the two Gashats into his chest. Purple and green waves of energy washed out from them to envelop his body, and he screamed and moaned as the power coursed through him, convulsing as the gradual disintegration of his form ceased. The stump of his left arm twitched and suddenly a new appendage burst out from it, gross and misshapen and looking like some deformed organic mashup of Cronus and Genm's. His skin turned black as veins of purple and green snaked out from the Gashats embedded in his body, glowing with a sickly light. His eyes flashed red, and he uttered a guttural scream as power blasted out from him, knocking everyone back. The civilians screamed in panic as windows shattered, the pavement cracked, and car alarms started going off in the nearby parking lot.

…

The holographic displays shattered, flinging back Hiiro, Parad, Kiriya, and Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD. The lights flashed and suddenly went out, plunging the room into darkness, and causing the Bugster audience to start wailing in alarm.

"SILENCE!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD bellowed, quieting his minions.

The lights flickered and came back on, though somewhat dimmer than before. "The heck was that?!" Nico demanded.

"Why can't we see what's going on?!" And even more irate Emu demanded, gesturing at the screen, which had gone dead.

"Zaizen's transformation caused a feedback burst which fried our systems," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD explained, frantically typing on his keyboard. "Emergency power kicked in, but until I can fix things, we can't see what's going on or help Poppy in any way."

"No… No! There Has to be something we can do!" Emu protested in denial. "Poppy! Poppy, come in! Poppy, can you read me? POPPY!"

There was no reply.

"There has to be something we can do!" Taiga insisted.

"Like what?" Kiriya asked.

"… Pray for a miracle?" The former radiologist suggested after a moment.

Kiriya raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?"

Taiga threw up his hands in exasperation. "Why the hell not? After everything that's happened today, it can't hurt! If we're going to get a deus ex machina that saves the day, now is as good a time as any!"

"Very well," Mizuki said, eyes glowing.

And suddenly, she, Satsuki, and Nico disappeared in a flurry of peach blossoms.

"What? What?! WHAT?!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD screamed incredulously.

"Nico? NICO!" Taiga cried in alarm, looking around frantically. "Where did she go?!"

"It would seem you were onto something, Taiga," Hiiro remarked, not seeming particularly bothered by what just happened. "It seems as if once again, a God intends to intercede on our behalf…"

Taiga facepalmed. "Right. Of course. Definitely converting after this."

"Poppy…" Emu whispered anxiously.

"Okay, I think I've got the main feed working again," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD announced as the screen suddenly switched back on, albeit in monochrome and with a lot of static.

"Reception's pretty lousy," Parad complained.

"I'M NOT A MIRACLE WORKER, OKAY?!"

"I thought you were. Since you're a self-proclaimed God," Kiriya needled Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"OH, SHUT UP!"

…

 **CONTINUE…?**


	37. Boss Stage 11 Part 2 and Final Question

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"Gnnh…agh…graaaagh…" Zaizen ululated as he staggered towards the civilians. The Gashats circling around him stopped in place, pixels emanating from their undersides and forming the bodies of 10 Collabos Bugsters, each of them wearing armor themed on the game they were created from. Raising their weapons, they silently advanced towards the humans, whose courage broke, and they began to run in fear.

Saiko struggled to pick up the still-disintegrating Poppy to carry her to safety, but her condition wasn't much better off, and she found herself collapsing to the ground next to the Bugster Rider. "Poppy… I'm sorry, I… I can't…"

"No, I'm sorry, Saiko," Poppy whispered in tears. "I failed you. I failed everyone." She choked back a sob. "Guess I really am just another useless female Rider, after all…"

"And what sort of attitude is that, hero?"

"Eh?"

There was a sudden scent of peach blossoms, and suddenly Mizuki appeared from out of nowhere, wearing what appeared to be a diaphanous gown made of a pink fabric that flowed and rippled around her like liquid light, her hair inexplicably blonde and her right eye glowing as she calmly walked between Poppy and Saiko and the advancing Collabos, peach trees erupting from the ground in her wake and stymieing the Bugsters in their tracks.

"What?! What is going on?!" Zaizen demanded, dumbfounded. "Where did she come from?!"

"Mi… Mizuki?!" Poppy explained, startled. "Wait… No, you're not her," she suddenly realized. "You're just… Wearing her body. Which means that you must be…"

The woman that was not Mizuki gave her a feral smile that somehow gave the impression of fangs. "The goddess Malika, deity of the hunt of the Gaimist pantheon, bride of Baron, and once upon a time was known as the human Yoko Minato. But I've not gone by the latter name for a very long time."

"A goddess?" Saiko whispered, awestruck. "But… But what are you doing here?"

"I am currently millions of light-years away, battling an evil beyond comprehension for the fate of the universe alongside my comrades," Malika said gravely. "But even so, I have been watching all that has been going on through the eyes of my champion, Mizuki. I have seen your struggles, Poppy Pipipapo. I have watched as you fought the creature calling itself Michihiko Zaizen, as he knocked you down again and again and again… And how every time you would get up and keep on fighting like a true warrior should. You have impressed me, Poppy. Impressed me with your courage, your determination, your dedication to justice, and the preservation of life. And I'm not a goddess that is easily impressed."

She frowned. "Which is why I'm disappointed to see that you seem to have given up now."

"I'm sorry, my lady, but… I think I've reached my limit," Poppy said helplessly, gesturing at her fading form. "It's game over for me. Zaizen has found another way to cheat death, and Saiko is on her last legs. At this point, I honestly don't know what more I can do."

"And?" Malika asked, unimpressed. "When has that ever stopped you before? No matter what life has thrown at you, you were determined to stand tall and smile and dance, to bring happiness to all those around you. It is something that my own mistress, the Holy Mother, would commend."

"It's a little hard to dance when I don't think I even have the strength to stand," Poppy said helplessly.

Malika gave Poppy a disdainful look. "Zaizen walked off a fall through the stratosphere and, even as his body started to turn on itself, was able to muster enough strength for one last gambit. Are you telling me that he is stronger than you in spirit?"

"…" Slowly, Poppy clinched a hand into a fist. "No. No, he isn't."

Malika nodded. "I thought not." She plucked a peach from one of the nearby trees, regarding it for a moment before holding it out to Poppy… Just out of her reach. "This fruit can heal the damage to your body and make you stronger than ever before. You can even save the life of your friend. However, if you want it, you'll need to take it from my hand."

"Nothing's ever easy, right?" Poppy asked with a bitter laugh.

"It never is," Malika agreed.

Grunting, Poppy pressed her hands against the ground, trying to push off. A sudden wave of weakness surged through her, and she gasped, darkness forming at the corners of her vision as she nearly blacked out. Panting for breath, she tried again. She gritted her teeth, sweat rolling down her face as she pushed with all her might, rising inch by inch into the air. Saiko stared at her with in wonder, and Malika with an impassive look on her face, as Poppy made it onto her feet. Wincing and grunting at the sheer exertion, she straightened her back, took one step forward…

And abruptly collapsed, gasping in pain as a convulsion rushed through her, more of her body fading. "I… I can't…"

"You must," Malika said. "Or you will die, and she will die, and Zaizen will win."

Poppy tried again. She didn't even get one foot under her before falling again. "I can't… I can't!" she cried through gritted teeth, tears running down her cheeks. "The fruit… Please…"

"This is not a gift that can be given, only earned," Malika informed her. "Get up."

"I can't."

"Get up."

" _I can't!"_

"Get up."

"I-" Poppy cut herself off. That last speaker hadn't been Malika. "Who…"

She looked up.

They were no longer outside the hospital, but in a clearing in the midst of an alien forest, strange fruits growing from the bizarre trees surrounding them shining in colors not visible on the standard spectrum, the stars wheeling above them as strange and luminous creatures danced and weaved through the sky. Malika, still holding the fruit, stood before her, but she no longer looked like Mizuki. From moment to moment, her form seem to shift and change, from a fiercely beautiful woman who looked as if she could tear a man's head off with her bare hands, to a Rider in pink with an Arabian motif, to an utterly alien creature that was as inhuman as it was beautiful.

And she was not alone. Several figures had emerged from the trees surrounding them, all of them armored, all of them female, all of them Kamen Riders. And while Poppy hadn't met many of them – – some of them having been dead for years, or living elsewhere – – somehow, she found herself able to recognize each and every one of them, even the ones she'd never met, even the ones she'd never _heard of._ Her friends Nico and Satsuki and Mizuki were there, along with Femme and Papillion, Larc, Shuki and Fubuki and Amaki and Mujaki, Lady, Ixa Nigo, Nadeshiko and Mages Yellow and Blue, Idunn, Medic and Revenant and Dark Necroms P and Y and Kunoichi and even Valkyrie!

But the one who had spoken was none of them, but a figure who stood apart from the rest, all of the others bowing their heads as she advanced, even Malika nodding in respect as she entered the circle. The strongest and Queen of all the female Riders, and a possible contender for strongest Rider overall, the Fangire Empress, Guardian of the Multiverse and legendary Destroyer of Destroyers, who had vanquished the infamous Decade at his mightiest and most destructive. (Sure, he _said_ he'd thrown the fight, but everyone knew he was just being a sore loser.)

"Kamen Rider Kiva-la," Poppy whispered, eyes glistening in awe.

"You must get up, Poppy," Kiva-la said gently. "Or there will be no future for you, or for your friend."

Poppy clinched her fists, grunting in exertion as she tried once more to rise. Once more, she failed. "I can't," she wept openly. "I want to, I don't want him to win, but I…"

Kiva-la nodded in understanding. "It is not easy being a female Rider, I know. We have so many disadvantages right from the start."

"We are outnumbered," said Idunn.

"Overshadowed," agreed Dark Necrom P.

"Killed," Femme, whom everyone remembered only for being the first female Rider as well as the first of her like to die, said bitterly.

"Passed over," added Ixa Nigo, whom had inherited the title of Ixa after her loving husband had fallen down the stairs and broken his neck while simultaneously stabbing himself two dozen times in the back.

"And still, we fight," Kiva-la pronounced.

"For ambition," said Larc.

"For justice, or revenge," Mage Yellow spoke up.

"For love," Medic said joyfully.

"For the pursuit of knowledge," said Revenant, who had created her own Ghost Driver after studying the Eyecons so well she understood them even more thoroughly then the Ganma who had created them.

"For the fun of it!" Nadeshiko said joyfully.

"Because somebody has to," Kunoichi said softly.

"Because even if we are overlooked, even if we are killed as motivation for the "real" heroes to save the day, we still must stay true to our goals and fight for what we believe in," said Shuki.

"Which is why, no matter how many times we get knocked down, it's important that we get back up again and keep fighting, no matter what," Kiva-la concluded. "What is it you fight for, Poppy?"

Poppy blinked. "I…"

"She fights for love and justice," Satsuki said firmly.

"She fights to put smiles on everyone's faces," Nico said in admiration.

"She fights because she chooses to, which is perhaps the most important reason of all," Mizuki added.

"But you can't fight on your knees," Kiva-la went on. "Are you ready, then, to stop fighting?"

Poppy glanced at Saiko, who seemed to have passed out. She was lying on the ground, barely breathing, barely visible. She clenched her fists. "No. No, I'm not."

"Then get up, Poppy Pipopapo. Get up and fight," Kiva-la said, taking a step back.

"Get up," Malika said, offering the food once more.

"Get up, Poppy!" Her friends encouraged her.

"Get up!" All the other Riders chorused.

…

"Get up," Emu whispered, staring at the scene in reverent awe.

…

Poppy got up.

With a trembling hand, she snatched the peach from the goddess…

And her vision went pink as peach blossoms billowed all around her and Saiko, their heady scent filling her nose. The peach glowed, and she felt energy coursing through her, her strength returning and then some, the damaged parts of her body mending themselves. Saiko seemed to be affected as well, her body regaining most of its solidity and her breathing evening out. The doctor opened her eyes, blinking and looking around her in confusion. "What… What is…"

"A miracle," Poppy breathed, staring at the brilliant light in her hand in wonder.

And then the blossoms were blown away, and the two of them were back in front of the hospital. The peach trees were gone, and Zaizen and his minions were clearly dumbfounded by what had just occurred. "What… What happened? What was that?!" Zaizen demanded furiously.

"A miracle," Poppy repeated as the illumination in her hands faded, revealing that the light had transformed into a crystalline Gashat with an image of every female Kamen Rider on the label beneath the words _Kamen Rider Girls._ "Which means it's time for a pipupepoperfect end to this!"

 **| KAMEN RIDER GIRLS! |**

"Level up to the next stage! HENSHIN!"

 **| CLICK AND LOAD! BUG IT UP! |**

She started dancing as music played and spotlights shone all over the place, holographic images of all the other female Riders materializing around her, dancing in sync. Silver and white feathers flowed onto her body, cladding her in a black and silver bodysuit with a flared combat skirt.

 **FEMME PAPILLION LARC SHUKI FUBUKI AMAKI MUJAKI LADY IXA NIGO KIVA-LA NADESHIKO MAGE YELLOW MAGE BLUE MALIKA IDUNN MEDIC REVENANT DARK NECROM P DARK NECROM Y NICO SNIPE FUUMA KNOCKOUT KUNOICHI VALKYRIE P-P-POPPY! |**

Each time a Rider's name was called, they jumped into the air and merged with Poppy, causing a piece of armor to form on her body with a silver statuette of the Rider emblazoned on it. Ornate silver greaves with winged boots covered her legs, silver gauntlets with small wings growing from the wrists formed on her hands, pauldrons with ornaments resembling winged hearts formed on her shoulders, and a silver breastplate materialized on her chest. The Oni Riders all shared the same panel on her armor, as did the Mages and Dark Necroms. Larger statues of Femme, Kiva-la, and Malika were on her breastplate. Wings of white light spread from her back, and transformed in a burst of feathers into a metallic cape split down the middle with circuit patterns engraved on it. As her pink sculpted hair grew down to her waist, a winged helmet formed on her head, heart-shaped adornments framing her face with a statuette of herself as the crown jewel of a glittering tiara.

 **| A WOMAN'S HEART IS STRONG! FIGHT FOR LOVE AND JUSTICE! GIRL POWER! KAMEN RIDER GIRLS! |**

A radiant light shone down over Poppy's armored form, and angelic feathers drifted down from above. As Saiko stared up at her in awe, the civilians, feeling a strange aura of peace and serenity filling the air, started drifting back. The girl with the keychain gasped and tugged her mother's hand in wonderment. "Mama, look! She's so pretty!"

"She looks like an angel," the girl's mother agreed, dumbstruck.

"A new form?! How?! Where did you get that Gashat from?!" Zaizen demanded, struggling to hide how much Poppy's new attire intimidated him. The sheer power he could feel emanating from her was astonishing!

Poppy chuckled. "Well, all of my friends got new forms and power-ups when all hope seemed lost, so it seems appropriate that I got mine as well. You can call this form…Kamen Rider Poppy, Girl Gamer Level XY!"

…

"Level XY?" Parad protested in confusion. "That's not a number!"

"Actually, both X and Y represent "unknown" numbers in math, so this could signify that her power level is even more incalculable then before, as well as having a double meaning by referring to her being female due to possession of a Y chromosome, or the programming equivalent thereof," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD explained.

"Oh," said Parad.

"Not upset that someone else gave her a new Gashat?" Kiriya needled Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"Honestly, I'm just happy she's all right," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD conceded. When everyone gave him astonished looks, he quickly amended, "B- because without her, we couldn't continue the game! No other reason whatsoever!"

"I don't care about that! Where's Nico?!" A furious Taiga demanded.

"Here," Nico said, sounding rather dazed.

"Nico?!" The scent of peaches filling his nose, Taiga whirled around to see Nico standing behind him, a bewildered look on her face. (Also, Satsuki and Mizuki were back, but Taiga didn't care about them.) "NICO!" Relieved, he hugged her. "Where were you?! What… What the hell was that?!"

"I… I really don't know," Nico stammered, a distant look in her eyes. "I can't… I can't remember much of anything. I was here, and then I was… I was somewhere else, and… And it felt so warm, and safe, and everything smelled of peaches… And now I'm back here, and everything feels so… Dull in comparison…"

"A religious experience can have that effect on people," Satsuki explained knowingly.

"Is that what that was?" Nico murmured, wondering. "Well, that totally cements my future conversion. Also, I think I might be bi now."

"What?!" Taiga demanded, incredulous.

Mizuki giggled. "Our lady can have that effect on people."

"Poppy looks like an angel," Emu whispered reverently.

"Not an angel… a Valkyrien!" Hiiro cried, looking awestruck.

"A what now?" Parad asked.

"Valkyriens are beautiful warrior woman – – or warriors that identify as female – – who serve as attendants and messengers to the gods in the Gaimist pantheon, battling evil and injustice on the behalf of their divine masters throughout the universe," Kiriya explained. "They also convey the spirits of the honored dead to Helheim to bask in paradise forevermore."

"So, they're Valkyries," Parad deduced from that explanation.

"No, Valkyriens," Hiiro said firmly.

"What's the difference?" Nico asked.

"One is real and the other isn't," Hiiro said plainly.

"You sure about that?" Parad asked doubtfully. "Considering what other crazy stuff is real?"

"If they are real, they're probably out of a job now," Kiriya pointed out. "Since nobody worships the Norse gods anymore, while Gaim's star is still rising."

"Think they were able to get new jobs working for Gaim? I mean, it's basically just an extra letter in the job title, and they're still doing the same sorts of stuff that they did before," Nico suggested.

"It's possible, gods from defunct pantheons are able to find positions in newer belief systems all the time," Mizuki admitted. "It's happened often enough in our own past with Buddhism and Shintoism."

"Think they might have an opening for our "god?"" Taiga joked, nodding at Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD.

"That would require that they, or any pantheon for that matter, would want him," Satsuki drawled.

"HEY!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled.

"I dunno, their standards aren't that high. I mean, they let Sid in," Kiriya pointed out.

Hiiro frowned. "… I feel like I should be offended, but unfortunately, you have a point."

"I feel like I should be offended as well," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD spoke up.

"You should be," Hiiro told him.

"I hate everything."

…

"I don't care WHAT you are, you will not stand in my way! Not when I'm so close!" Zaizen snarled. "Get her!"

The Collabos Bugsters raised their weapons and silently charged towards her. The Bike Bugster got ahead of the pack by transforming into a motorcycle, the Sports Bugster hopping on and riding it towards Poppy. Rather than dodging, Poppy leaped right towards the biker, landing a flying kick to its chin that knocked it off the vehicle. Grabbing onto the bike's handlebars while in midair, she swung into its seat, turned the bike around, and started driving back towards the pack, tapping the statuette of Nico as she did so.

 **| NICO SNIPE! GASHACON MAGNUM! |**

Nico's gun materialized in her free hand. Gripping the handlebar tight with her other hand to steer, she started opening fire with her blaster as she approached the Bugsters, sparks and HIT! signs flying as they staggered from the impact. She plowed through them on the bike, scattering them across the ground, only to yelp as the bike, clearly not happy that she was using it to attack its siblings, started fighting back.

"Oh, you don't like that, do you?" Poppy noted. "Well, you're going to like this even less!"

Gunning the motor, she steered right towards the Sports Bugster, who had just managed to pick itself up. Startled, the Bugster threw up its hands in alarm when it saw the motorcycle careening right towards it. The bike swerved and shook, trying to throw Poppy off, before finally changing back into its Bugster form and flinging her off its back. Unfortunately, it was unable to arrest its momentum in time to keep it from crashing into the Sports Bugster, knocking both of them to the ground.

Poppy landed neatly on her feet, and while the duo were getting back up, tapped the Ixa Nigo statuette.

 **| IXA NIGO! FANGIRE SLAYER PLUS! |**

A high-tech rifle with what appeared to be a serrated bayonet attachment materialized in her hands. She aimed the rifle at the two Bugsters and fired…

The bayonet, which as it turned out, it's attached to a lengthy whip-like cord which whizzed through the air, encircling the two Bugsters several times before snapping tight, binding them in place. As the Bugsters squealed and desperately tried to break free, Poppy leveled her rifle at them and fired, a tremendous blast of blue energy streaking forth from the nozzle and obliterating the monsters in a single shot. The Proto Shakariki Sports and Bakusou Bike Gashats were flung from the explosion, clattering to the ground in front of Saiko.

Suddenly, machine gun fire rained down on Poppy from above! Her cape reflexively reshaped itself into a large wing-like shield to protect her from the bullets as the Combat Bugster strafed by overhead, dropping bombs which exploded all around her. As she withdrew her wing, the Bugster turned back towards her in the air and activated the turbine on its right arm, generating a powerful gust of wind which buffeted the heroic Bugster back. Her cape once more activated, the points digging themselves into the ground to anchor her in place. In response, the Combat Bugster aimed its left-hand at her, preparing to fire missiles.

Poppy quickly tapped the Femme statuette.

 **| FEMME! BLANCWING! |**

Without warning, a window behind the Combat Bugster shimmered and a giant mechanical Swan emerged from it, honking ferociously as it sailed towards the Bugster. The monster didn't even get a chance to turn around and fire before the Swan collided with it, wrapping its bladed wings around it and thrusting its razor-sharp beak into its skull again and again. As the Mirror Monster fed upon its hapless prey, the Proto Jet Combat Gashat was dislodged from its cranium, flying through the air and landing in front of Saiko.

The Robot Bugster advanced, aiming its right arm at Poppy and firing its massive claw at her like a rocket. Poppy quickly tapped the statuette of Satsuki.

 **| KNOCKOUT! GASHACON KNUCKLE! |**

Her left fist, now clad in one of Satsuki's oversized knuckles, surged forwards, punching the claw before it could slam into her. Sparks flew as the rocket nozzle on its end kept firing, trying to push her back and overwhelm her, but her cape dug its ends into the ground again to anchor her, and the strength granted to her by her new weapon kept her steady. She reached for one of the other statuettes to prepare a counterattack…

And the Mighty Bugster, who been sneaking up on her from behind, thrust an electrified knuckle into her back.

 **| FUUMA! KUNOICHI! KAWARIMI NO JUTSU! |**

Or at least, that was the plan, only for Poppy to suddenly turn into a log in a puff of smoke. The Bugster had less than a second to look at the log in confusion before Robot's claw, now uninhibited, shot forwards and dug into its chest, exploding and destroying the Bugster. The Proto Mighty Action X Gashat flew through the air and landed at Saiko's feet.

The Robot Bugster didn't even get a chance to wonder what the heck had just happened before a ninjato burst out of its chest. Poppy wrenched the blade from its back and whirled around, her cape flaring dramatically as the Bugster fell to its knees and exploded, the Proto Gekitotsu Robots Gashat flying through the air and landing at Saiko's feet. "Okay, I think I can see why people like ninjas so much, that was actually pretty cool."

She heard the scratch of a record, and turned her head to see that the Beat Bugster had chosen to enter the fray, and a stream of musical notes was coming towards her. Poppy burst into laughter. "Seriously? You're using my own game against me?! You really think that's going to do anything?!" Delighted, she began dancing to the beat, striking the notes with her hands, feet, or other parts of her body as she hopped and twirled and shook her body to the tune, her audience cheering and a few of them even singing and dancing along.

Eventually, the Bugster's song ended, and she took a bow as PERFECT! appeared in the air over her head, the crowd and even the Bugster applauding…

And that's when she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that the Quest Bugster was chanting and twirling a scepter through the air as ominous glowing runes covered the ground around it as it prepared a powerful spell.

Poppy was livid. "You used my love of dancing and rhythm against me! How dare you!" She furiously accused the Beat Bugster, who, to its credit, looked somewhat apologetic. "Let's see how YOU like it!"

She tapped the Oni statuette.

 **| ONI! ONGEKI BEAT! |**

Shuki, Amaki, Fubuki, and Mujaki materialized in front of Poppy, brandishing their instrument weapons menacingly. "Let him have it, girls!" Poppy cried.

The four Oni Riders started playing, the sound of harp, trumpet, and song filling the air as a much larger and more complex stream of musical notes flowed towards the Beat Bugster, who frantically started dancing to try and keep up with the tune.

While the musical monster was occupied, Poppy turned her attention towards the Quest Bugster, who'd almost finished preparing a spell, which was no doubt Ruin. "Always Ruin with these guys…" She muttered, touching the Mages statuette.

 **| MAGES! HOLY! |**

A ring with a gold base and the symbol of a white diamond enveloped by wings materialized on her finger. Her cape flaring out behind her, momentarily looking like wings, she clenched her hand into a fist and pointed the ring at the Quest Bugster.

"HOLY!"

The ring flashed, and a tremendous beam of white light as wide as she was tall fired from it. Seeing the light surging towards it, the Quest Bugster fired its spell… Only for the power of Holy to smash right through it and shatter its defenses, consuming it in a blaze of absolute radiance that left nothing in its wake. Nothing, that is, except for the Proto Taddle Quest Gashat, which flew through the air and landed at Saiko's feet.

"Only four more to go!" Poppy chirped cheerfully. There was a cry of agony and an explosion behind her as the Beat Bugster finally succumbed to the Oni music and was destroyed, the Proto DoReMiFa Beat Gashat flying through the air and landing at Saiko's feet. "Make that three." She turned to face the Hunter and Chambara Bugsters… And paused, realizing someone was missing. "Wait… Where is-"

Something that felt an awful lot like a gun barrel pressed into the back of her head. "Oh."

The Shooting Bugster pulled the trigger…

 **| LADY! CLOCK UP! |**

And suddenly, the world stood still.

Well, that wasn't quite true. Everything was still moving at its proper pace – – time hadn't actually stopped – – but from Poppy's perspective, everything had slowed down to a nearly imperceptible crawl.

Even so, she immediately pulled her head out the way and moved far, far away from the Shooting Bugster's arm-mounted weapon. "That," she said, letting out a breath and moving her hand from the Lady statuette. "Was a little too close." She glanced around, marveling at how she seemed to be the only thing moving, or at least, moving quickly. "Huh. Wonder if this is what it feels like to be Cronus."

Uncertain how long she could keep this up, she decided to take advantage of her current speed by walking over to the Hunter Bugster, picking it up – – marveling as she did so just how light it seemed to her new form's muscles – – then walked back over and placed it right in front of the Shooting Bugster, right where she had been standing microseconds ago.

She considered for a moment, then pulled the Proto Gashats out of both Bugsters heads. "Better safe than sorry."

She walked over to the nearly-motionless Saiko, carefully put the Gashats at her feet, then walked back over to the two Bugsters, standing behind Shooting. "And… Now."

And time – – at least, from her perspective – – resumed its normal pace. The Hunter Bugster's head exploded as Shooting's bullet tore through it, and the monster slumped its feet, smoke billowing from the stump of its neck. The Shooting Bugster stared down at the corpse of its sibling in astonishment-

 **| NICO SNIPE! GASHACON MAGNUM! |**

And felt a gun barrel pressed to the back of its head. "Bang."

She pulled the trigger, and the Shooting Bugster ceased to be.

"This is… How are you doing this?!" Zaizen cried in disbelief, seeing that he only had a single minion left.

"The power of every female Rider flows through me," Poppy declared. "Their strength is my strength, their courage my courage. Our hearts beat as one. Together, there is nothing we cannot accomplish!"

"Which makes you what, a discount Decade or Diend?" Zaizen sneered.

"Hardly!" Poppy scoffed. "They _wish_ they looked as good as this!" She cried, gesturing to her shining, somewhat sexy form.

"But will you look as good once I'm through with you? Get her!" Zaizen commanded the Chambara Bugster. "And perhaps it is time I intervened as well…"

The God Maximum Mighty X Gashat in his chest lit up.

 **| COSMIC CHRONICLE! |**

As the Chambara Bugster charged towards Poppy, sword drawn, a giant lens appeared in the sky, refracting sunlight into a powerful beam of destruction focused on Poppy. Her cape quickly unfolded into a pair of metal wings which formed a shield over her, the light reflecting off of the polished surface and cutting into the hospital and surrounding environs. "No! I didn't mean for that to happen!" She cried in alarm as the civilians screamed in terror, shielding themselves from debris falling off of the face of the building.

…

"Hey, that's my move!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested. "He can't do that!"

"Clearly, he can," Hiiro countered.

…

 _Crap, gotta do something about that lens!_ Poppy thought anxiously, sweating inside her armor as heat from the focused solar ray starting to get through her wings. _Or do I?_

She shifted her wings, redirecting the ray so it was no longer wildly refracting all over the place, but was concentrated on a single point: the Chambara Bugster. The Bugster howled as the power of the sun enveloped it, disintegrating it completely, the Proto Giri Giri Chambara Gashat flying through the air and landing at Saiko's feet.

The solar beam kept going, streaking right towards Zaizen. "NO!" He jumped the side and waved his hand, the beam shooting past him as the lens in the sky faded.

Poppy rose to her feet, her wings transforming back into a cape. "It's time to end this, Zaizen!"

"Not yet… Not yet!"

 **| ZOMBIE CHRONICLE! |**

Darkness bubbled across the ground in front of Zaizen, and several dozen moaning, shambling Zombie Gamers emerged.

…

"Those are mine, too!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested.

"Kind of weird seeing them being commanded by someone else," Emu commented.

"Did you copyright them? You could sue Zaizen for using them without your permission," Parad half-joked.

"That's not a bad idea," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD admitted.

…

Poppy sighed. "As if one Kuroto isn't bad enough…"

…

"That's Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted.

…

"I don't have time to deal with all this." Poppy touched the Dark Necrom statuettes.

 **| DARK NECROMS! DARK PARKA GHOSTS! |**

With eerie moans, several dozen hoodie-like ghosts materialized in puffs of black smoke, glowing eyes visible in the depths of their hoods. Poppy pointed at the zombie horde, and the ghosts flew towards them, wailing and shrieking.

As the two undead forces clashed against each other, Poppy touched the Kiva-la statuette.

 **| KIVA-LA! KIVA-LA SABER! |**

The skies darkened as the moon passed in front of the sun, creating a total eclipse. From that dark mass, a silver object shot down, piercing the ground before Poppy. The Rider drew it from the ground, revealing it to be a sword with a bladed protrusion resembling a bat wing for a guard, a blue grip, and a red pommel. This was none other than the Kiva-la Saber, the legendary blade that had struck down the Destroyer of Worlds.

 _Incredible… Just holding it, I feel stronger than I ever could have imagined. This power beggars belief… Is this truly the strength of the Destroyer of Destroyers?_ She thought to herself in wonder. _If so, I must endeavor to use it responsibly._

Brandishing the blade, she charged towards Zaizen. Several of the Zombie Gamers tried to intercept her, only to be tackled out of the way by her loyal Parka Ghosts, the dark spirits clearing a path for her through the horde.

"No… No! This shall not be my end!" Zaizen growled.

 **| COSMIC CHRONICLE! |**

Meteors started raining down from the heavens, tearing up the ground and sending ghosts and zombies flying, Zaizen not caring if his own henchmen got caught in the crossfire so long as he took out Poppy. Poppy's cape turned into a shield once again, whatever material it was made out of strong enough to deflect the incoming meteors. As explosions erupted all around her, she touched another statuette.

 **| NADESHIKO! ROCKET ON! |**

An orange Rocket Module materialized over her right arm. The rocket ignited, pulling her off the ground and streaking towards Zaizen as her cape wings flared out to shield her from the meteorites. The alarmed Bugster directed more and more stellar missiles at her, but Poppy used the rocket's maneuverability to steer around them, her wings' protective shield to deflect them, and the incredible power of her sword to cut them to pieces.

As the distance between them was rapidly eaten up by the second, Poppy drew back her sword, preparing to thrust it into her opponent's heart, with all the power of a rocket behind her strike…

And the Kamen Rider Chronicle Gashat glowed.

 **| PAUSE! |**

And once again, the world stood still, although this time time truly had stopped, rather than being slowed down.

…

Taiga groaned. "Oh great, not that trick again!"

"And here I thought we'd never have to see it again," Kiriya complained.

"Are there any female Riders Poppy can draw power from that will help her break free from this?" Emu anxiously asked Satsuki and Mizuki.

"There just might be," Satsuki informed him, a smile gracing her lips.

…

Zaizen shook his head, cackling at the sight of Poppy frozen in the air before him, a shining statue of a valorous warrior Angel poised to vanquish evil. "So close… But not close enough." Both of the Gashats glowed as he started gathering power in his twisted left hand, forming a purple, green, and black ball of destructive energy. "Let's see if your newfound power can defend you from _this_ …"

And that's when the Medic and Lady statuettes lit up.

 **| MEDIC! LADY! SUPER CLOCK UP! |**

A wave of red particles washed out from Poppy's body, and the world suddenly resumed motion, her sword surging forwards and piercing Zaizen's chest with unimaginable strength. The rocket shot off of Poppy's arm, rose into the air, and exploded spectacularly, much to the awe of the crowd. Zaizen stared at the blade piercing his chest display, then glanced up at Poppy. "N-no… How… I had you! I HAD YOU!"

Poppy withdrew her blade and swiped it through the air to cast off bits of data clinging to it as behind her, the last of the Zombie Gamers was picked off by her Parka Ghosts. "I told you I have the power of all the female Riders flowing through me. I don't necessarily have to touch the statues to activate it. With both Lady and Medic's power, no time stop effect can stop me!"

"D-damn you!" Zaizen snarled, outraged, as he fell to his knees, light and data gushing from the wound in his chest. "This isn't the end, though. I still have one last trick!"

 **| RESE-|**

"No."

Before Zaizen could undo all of her hard work, she ripped the Proto-Gashats out of his chest and tossed them over her shoulder, where they landed at Saiko's feet. "It's over."

"No… NO!" Zaizen shouted, trying and failing to get back on his feet. "You fool! You ruined everything! I could have saved everyone, I could have-"

"Zaizen, if you really wanted to save the world, you would've done it a long time ago," Poppy said coldly, touching the statuette on her forehead.

 **| POPPY! FINISHING MOVE! |**

"Saiko… Saiko, please! It's not too late to fix this!" Zaizen cried in a panic as Poppy's cape transformed once again into wings and she rose into the air, holy light radiating off of her body. "We can still make things right! We can still save everyone!"

Saiko bent down to pick up the 12 Gashats. Cradling them to her chest, she stared at her father impassively, then closed her eyes and turned away, a single tear running down her cheek. "Goodbye, Dr. Zaizen."

"No… No! Saiko! SAIKO-" Zaizen cried.

 **| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL HEAVEN! |**

Silvery transparent images of all the female Riders appeared in the air around Poppy, each of them also sporting angelic wings, though somewhat smaller than hers, except for Kiva-la, whose wings were more like a bat's. As the sound of an angelic choir filled the air, all the Riders launched into flying kicks, converging on the broken form of Zaizen. He howled in sorrow and despair as they impacted…

And was no more, a pillar of light streaking into the heavens, white and silver feathers drifting down from the sky before dissipating into motes of light. Poppy stood before her sister Riders, and nodded in thanks. They nodded back, and vanished as well.

"Mama… Mama, when I grow up, I'm going to be just like her! A Kamen Rider!" The little girl with the keychain cried ecstatically.

"And I'm sure you'll be a wonderful one," her mother said gently, unaware that her daughter would one day become one of the greatest heroines of all time. But that's a story for another day.

As the stunned civilians burst into applause, Poppy changed back to normal in a flash of light, more feathers flying off of her. She smiled and bowed in thanks, and walked over to Saiko, who was shaking and on the verge of tears. "I'm sorry that had to happen," Poppy said softly, hugging her friend.

"Don't be," Saiko, said bitterly. "My father is dead. He has been for a very long time. The man I thought I knew is long gone...assuming he ever existed in the first place."

"He was wrong when he claimed that he was the only one who could save the world. You're the one that's going to save everyone. You're already a far better person and scientist did he ever was. You know that, right?" Poppy asked her.

Saiko nodded and managed a smile. "I know. I'm almost there. Just a little longer, and I can bring everyone home. Even… Even him."

"And what will you do once he's back?" Poppy asked gently.

"… I don't know. I thought I did, but after everything that just happened…" Saiko shook her head. "I guess… I guess I'll just figure it out when the time comes."

"That's all most of us can do," Poppy agreed. "Just know that when it happens, you don't have to be alone. You have friends."

Saiko's smile seemed a bit more genuine now. "I know. Thank you, Poppy."

The ground nearby shimmered, and a warp point materialized. "And that's my ticket out of here. Saiko, I'm sorry, I'd love to help clean up and talk to my new fans, but I have to go. My friends need me."

Saiko nodded in understanding. "That's okay. We can take care of things here. And Poppy?"

"Yeah?"

Saiko's eyes narrowed. "Give him hell."

Poppy nodded, an ominous look on her face. "He's going to get SUCH a spanking when I'm through with him."

…

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD swallowed. "Coming from someone with my mother's face, that feels rather a lot more intimidating than it should… And not even remotely kinky, thankfully."

The others grimaced. "Thank you so much for that mental image," Parad complained.

"Yeah, the only person Poppy should be spanking is Emu!" Kiriya agreed.

"Really?" Emu groaned as the others laughed.

…

Poppy hugged Saiko again, then stepped into the warp point, vanishing in a flash of light. "Good luck, Poppy," Saiko said softly. Feeling a strange warmth, she glanced down and was surprised to note that the Gashats she was holding were glowing. Her eyes widened in astonishment. What on earth…?

"Dr. Yaotome, are you all right?" One of her colleagues asked, reaching out to touch her. "That was a pretty bad case of the Gaming Illness, we should get you checked out-"

"My equipment!" Saiko shouted, interrupting her. "Is it still intact?"

The other scientist blinked in confusion. "What? Uh, I think so, I'm pretty sure our lab wasn't as badly hit compared to some of the other-"

Saiko had already stopped listening and was racing back towards the hospital. "Wait! You can't go in there, it was seriously damaged! It could collapse any minute!" Her friend shouted.

Saiko ignored her. Racing through the hallways, dodging around small fires and pieces of collapsing ceilings, she climbed up the stairs two at a time, going up flight after flight until she reached her floor. Barging through the door to her lab and skirting around piles of rubble, she dashed over to her workstation, which by some miracle (more of Malika's work, perhaps?) was still intact.

Plugging the Gashats back into their special drives, she quickly started her computer back up and ran a quick scan. She bit her lip, watching the progress bar slowly fill up. "Come on, come on…"

Her father had plugged the master Gashats into himself, mixing their energies with her research data and his own power, then used them to make the proto-Gashats into Bugsters which were in turn defeated by Poppy, using a new form that had no small amount of divine power behind it as well as being associated with an angelic figure who according to Gaimist myth provided _salvation_ to those fallen…

 _Could it_ be?

The progress bar filled up completely, and her monitor was suddenly flooded with the results of the analysis. Saiko's eyes widened. _This… This changes everything!_

A broad smile on her face, Saiko glanced upwards through the hole in the ceiling. "Well, that settles it. Looks like I'm converting. You've accomplished another miracle, Poppy."

She sat down in her chair, only to yelp when it collapsed under her weight. "… Dammit, I liked that chair."

…

On the DenLiner…

"And… Done," Sion said, pressing a key on his computer. "That should do it."

Sougo, strapped to an operating table with a number of cables attached to his arms, blinked. "Wait, really? That's it?"

The green TimeRanger nodded as he started undoing his straps. "Yep. The programming in your nanomachines that was going to turn you evil has been completely erased. Now you're never going to turn into Oma Zi-O."

"I kind of thought it would take longer," Sougo commented as he sat up and hopped off of the table.

Sion shrugged. "It would've been even quicker if we did this back in my time, but I had to make do with the rudimentary tools of your era. It was sufficient. Barely."

"Should we be insulted?" Momotaros, wearing a nurse's outfit, wondered.

"Well, this train _could_ use some renovations," Urataros, also dressed as a nurse, commented. "We should take it up with Owner some time."

"You do it, the guy scares me," Momotaros complained.

"Can I start dancing now?" Ryutaros, also – – you guessed it – – wearing a nurse's uniform begged.

"I don't think an operating theater is a suitable place for a dance posse," Futaros – – do we even need to say it? – –pointed out.

"But the surgery's over! Not that there was much of one, anyway. So boring," the purple Dragon whined.

"This isn't a medical drama. Real surgical procedures aren't usually that exciting," Teddy pointed out. (You can guess what he's wearing, right?)

"Still lame," Ryutaros grumbled.

"Would you like a lollipop for being such a good boy?" Deneb asked, offering Sougo some candy. (Yes, he was just the same as the others.)

Sougo frowned in suspicion. "Is it shiitake-flavored?"

"… No?" Deneb said unconvincingly. Sougo grimaced and shook his head.

"So… That's it? The nightmare is over? Our future will never come to pass?" Geiz, who'd been leaning against a wall, asked, straightening up.

"Assuming the timestream changed the way it should have, yes," Sion confirmed.

"Wait, won't that mean that you and Tsukuyomi and Woz will no longer exist?" Sougo asked anxiously.

"If that's the price to pay for a better future, it's one I'm willing to accept," Geiz said gravely.

"It shouldn't come to that," Reiji said, entering the room. "Since the two of you were on the DenLiner when the timeline shifted, you should be immune to any alterations in the timestream. We can give you paradox inhibitors anyway, just to be safe."

"… Let's see what form the future takes first," Tsukuyomi said slowly. She was still reeling from the revelation that she was apparently Sougo's future granddaughter, and had no idea how to deal with it. "If it's really better, then… Then maybe it's not worth remembering things the way they were…"

"Or perhaps," Woz said somberly, staring off into space. "It would be best if we were to cease to exist at all, like my alternate self."

"Woz!" Sougo cried, horrified.

"My over… _Sougo_ , I have done many terrible, horrible things," Woz said softly. "Things I did without guilt or remorse, because I believed it was fated to be, and that I should be honored to serve the true master of our world. But now… Now that I know the truth, I…" He started shaking.

"Woz," Tsukuyomi said gently, touching his arm. "You know we forgive you, right?"

"We do?" Geiz murmured, only for her to elbow him. "Ow! I mean, yeah, we do. I mean, if we can accept Tsukuyomi is Oma Zi-O's granddaughter, then, well…"

Woz smiled bitterly. "Thank you for your kind words, but I'm not sure that I can ever forgive myself." He took a deep breath. "Whatever form the new future takes, I'm not sure I want to be part of it. I'm not sure I deserve it."

"Then where will you go?" Sougo asked in concern.

Woz shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe nowhere. I don't think I deserve to be anywhere, really."

"You could still stay with me and my uncle," Sougo urged. "He loves having company. And if Geiz and Tsukuyomi are going back to their own time-" And that was another thing he wasn't sure how to deal with, the unhappy truth that now that everything had been resolved, his friends would have to leave- "It'll… It'll be nice having one friend to stay. It… It got lonely, sometimes, back before this all started."

Woz regarded Sougo in surprise for a moment. "I… Thank you, my over… Sougo. I shall… I shall consider it."

Yuri walked back into the room, a grim look on her face. "Sion. Did you perform the procedure to deactivate Sougo's nanomachines yet?"

Sion frowned, puzzled. "I just finished. He still should have all his powers, and the ability to turn into a Kamen Rider, but the programming that will turn him evil has been erased. Why?"

"Because, according to the latest readings, the timeline hasn't changed, and Oma Zi-O STILL rules the world in 2068," Tsukasa informed them, following in behind Yuri.

Everyone stared at him in stunned disbelief. "That… No. No, that can't be right," Tsukuyomi protested, shocked.

"I deactivated the evil programming! There's no way Sougo could possibly become Oma Zi-O!" Sion protested in alarm. "Well, unless he chose to do so out of his own will, I suppose."

"I'm not going to! I never will! Tsukuyomi, please keep Geiz from killing me!" Sougo shrieked, instinctively cowering away from his "friend."

"I'm not going to kill you," Geiz assured him. "… Yet." Sougo whimpered. "Seriously, though, how is this possible?! You all GUARANTEED this would fix things!"

"It has to be something we're missing," Yuri muttered, brow furrowed.

"Maybe that Schwartz guy had some backup plan he didn't tell us about? We can interrogate it out of him," Momotaros offered eagerly, clearly looking forward to the prospect of inflicting more psychological torture on the Time Jacker.

"I rather doubt he could possibly be holding anything back after what we did to him," Teddy pointed out.

Reiji nodded. "He's right. Schwartz has nothing left to hide. He wouldn't have an answer on this."

"Maybe this Oma Zi-O is someone different?" Ryutaros suggested. "Like, someone else got his power and took over the world?"

Yuri frowned. "That's an interesting idea, but from our projections, Oma Zi-O is still Sougo Tokiwa, or at least claims to be him."

"Maybe it's someone else using my name?" Sougo suggested.

"But who could possibly be powerful enough to take your place as the Demon King?" Geiz pointed out.

"Perhaps it is I!" Sieg proclaimed. Everyone ignored him. (Now, HE wasn't dressed as a nurse. He'd insisted to be dressed like a doctor, which he seemed to believe was more or less the royalty of hospitals.)

Tsukuyomi's eyes lit up. "Oh! What about Hiryu Kakogawa! If he became Another Zi-O again…"

Reiji shook his head. "No, we made sure to round up all of the remaining Anotherwatches. Schwartz had been planning to give him an even stronger watch to turn him into Another Zi-O II, but we apprehended him before that could happen."

"But if you deactivated the evil programming, and I've made it absolutely clear I'm NOT going to become the Demon King, and there's no one else powerful enough to become Oma Zi-O… Then why does he still exist?!" Sougo demanded.

"… Oma Zi-O is the King of time and space," Woz said slowly. "Wielder of the powers and legacies of all 19 Heisei Riders that preceded him, able to change the past, present, and future at his leisure. Perhaps he still exists because he simply _refuses_ to be erased from history."

"Whoa! Is that even possible?!" Demanded an alarmed Futaros.

"All of us have witnessed Oma Zi-O's power firsthand. Something like that… Yes, I can certainly see him being capable of that," Tsukuyomi said gravely.

"He's the strongest Rider ever. It's why we had to travel 50 years back in the past to try and strike him, because he was far too strong to defeat in the future," Geiz agreed.

"If he's really that strong, how the heck are we going to fix this?!" Momotaros demanded.

"Defeat him, obviously!" Kintaros snorted.

"… HOW?!" Momotaros shouted, shaking the bear by his horn. "Someone that strong can probably do all sorts of crazy shit! Retcon us from existence! Make us really old or really young! Predict our every move. Before it happens! Rewind time to make any defeat or injury not happen!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he can do all those things," Sougo confessed. "I mean, I can do some of that, so…"

"And more besides," Woz said grimly.

"Exactly! How do we beat that?!" Momotaros asked. "… That wasn't a rhetorical question. Seriously, how do we fight that?"

"Can the technology from your era counter his powers?" Reiji asked Yuri.

She considered for a moment, then shook her head. "Not against someone at this level. Fortunately, we already have our own countermeasure."

"We do?" Sougo asked hopefully.

"That's right. Me," Tsukasa said confidently.

Yuri gave him a confused look. "What? No, of course not. Don't be ridiculous. It's Sougo."

"Oh," Tsukasa said with a pout.

"Wait, me?!" Sougo protested, pointing to himself in bewilderment.

Yuri nodded. "He's your future self. Everything he can do, so can you. If he changes history around us, you can just change it right back to stop him. If he uses a Rider's power against us, you can do the exact same thing. The rest of us can fight him, but you may be the only one who can actually defeat him."

Tsukuyomi's eyes lit up. "That… That might actually work! Sougo already has been developing some of the abilities Oma Zi-O was infamous for in our time…"

"But… No, there's no way that could work," Sougo protested. "I'm nowhere near his level! The last time I faced him, he trounced me easily!"

"You are stronger now than you were then, my over… Sougo," Woz pointed out.

"And since we've been able to recover all of the remaining Ridewatches, you should be able to use all their powers, just like he can," Reiji added.

"But I don't even know HOW to do most the stuff he can!" Sougo protested. "He's had decades to master his abilities! I've barely been at this for even a year!"

"That can easily be remedied," Yuri said decisively. "Sougo, Geiz, Woz, come with me."

She left the room. Puzzled, the three Riders followed her.

Tsukuyomi frowned. "Where are they-"

Suddenly, Sougo, Geiz, and Woz returned… Staggering into the room, their clothes tattered and worn, with comically large beards on their faces. "Oh! OH! It's Tsukuyomi!" Sougo cried, pointing at the girl. He limped over and hugged her. "Oh, Tsukuyomi! You have no idea how good is to see you! I've missed you so much, granddaughter!"

Tsukuyomi blinked in confusion. "What the-"

Geiz staggered over and hugged her as well. "Oh, Tsukuyomi! The thought of seeing your beautiful face again was sometimes the only thing that kept me going! I promised that the minute I saw you again, I would do what I was never brave enough to do and ask for your hand in marriage. Zi-O already gave his approval."

"He's right, I did," Sougo agreed proudly, throwing an arm around Geiz's shoulder. "He's the only man I think is worthy of you, the only man I'm willing to call grandson."

"It's nice to see you as well," Woz added as he slumped in a seat, not looking in a hurry to hug her.

"… The fuck?!" Momotaros bellowed.

Tsukasa blinked. "What is going on here?"

Yuri walked back in the room, a smug smile on her face. "Oh, they're just happy to see a familiar face after spending the last 50 years training almost nonstop to master their powers."

"50… you were just gone for a few seconds!" Momotaros protested.

"We are on a time-traveling train journeying through the Sands of time," Yuri pointed out. "Time is subjective. I just took them to a room where time flows differently than it does in the rest of the train and trained them there."

"A room where time flows – – are you telling me we have a Gaimdamn Room of Spirit and Time?!" Momotaros shouted in disbelief.

"Basically, yes," Yuri said.

"Why didn't anyone tell us that we had a Room of Spirit in Time?! Do you have any idea how useful that might've been to know sooner?!" An indignant Urataros demanded.

"You never asked," said the DenLiner's Owner, who was sitting in a corner, delicately picking away at his food so as not to disturb the small flag jutting from the top. The Imagin facefaulted.

"Sir, should you really be eating in an operating room?" Deneb asked in concern.

"You're the ones who chose to undergo a medical procedure in the dining car during my lunch hour," Owner pointed out, unrepentant.

"Why did we do that again?" Tsukuyomi wondered, trying and failing to push the overly-clingy Sougo and Geiz off of her. "I mean, doesn't this train have a infirmary?"

"It does, but Ryotaro tripped, so he needed it more," Urataros explained.

"… How does Ryotaro _tripping_ merit him needing the entire infirmary?!" Tsukuyomi demanded.

"Clearly you don't know Ryotaro," Momotaros said with a sniff.

"Even if the three of them have undergone training to master their abilities, Oma Zi-O still has more experience in using them in the real world," Sion pointed out. "As well as an army of robot soldiers, giant robots, and even Riders he can control. We may need reinforcements if we're to stand a chance against him."

"Then it's a good thing that I've already started calling for backup," Yuri informed them all. "More than a few have already agreed to help. And if that weren't enough, we already have the assistance of one of the most powerful Riders of all, a defender of reality who travels from world to world, helping those in need and striking down those who would destroy all worlds."

Tsukasa smirked and stood straight up. "I'd be honored to assist, Captain."

"I wasn't talking about you," she said flatly, causing the Taros to snicker.

Tsukasa blinked. "What? But who else could you possibly…" His eyes widened in horror. "No. NO. You can't possibly mean-"

the room was suddenly filled with the sound of violins playing beautiful music. The door slid open, and a gorgeous red and gold carpet decorated with bats rolled into the room, being unfurled by Yusuke Onodera. An adorable mechanical bat-like creature flapped around over his head, scattering flower petals and confetti from a bowl she was carrying in one claw. "Rejoice, for the advent of the True Queen! Bow your heads in welcome for the Empress of Fangires, Queen of Queens, Patron of all female Riders, Guardian of the Multiverse, and Destroyer of Destroyers!" She chirped energetically. "Behold my mistress, the one, the only, the inestimable Natsumi Hikari, Kamen Rider Kiva-la!"

Tsukasa groaned and put his face in his hands as a gorgeous woman with long dark hair wearing a queenly dress in white and silver with purple accents and bat-wing ornamentation strode regally into the room, the light glinting off of the many red jewels adorning her dress and the bat-shaped tiara framing her face. She smiled at Tsukasa, exposing fangs. "Hello, Tsukasa. It's been a while."

Sougo blinked, finding himself suddenly thinking of his first love, a girl wearing a sailor outfit, for some reason.

"… Will you marry me?!" A smitten Sieg demanded after a moment's silence. Everyone ignored him.

…

When Poppy materialized on stage, it was accompanied by the sounds of applause from her friends and from the audience. She didn't even have more than a second to take it in before she was nearly bowled over by Emu, who hugged her to his chest with all his considerable strength. "Poppy! That was amazing! I mean, it was scary as hell, but also spectacular!" He gushed. "I've never seen anything like it! I love you so much! Will you marry me?!"

Poppy gasped, eyes widening in delight and she squealed and hugged him excitedly. "Yes! Yes yes yes!"

"Wait, isn't it too soon for that? They just started dating this morning!" Argued a confused Taiga.

"Eh, they've been playing games together for years now. That's more than enough of a courtship for us Bugsters," Parad said with a grin, proud of his brother.

Kiriya blinked. "… Wait, does that mean when you were obsessed about playing with Emu, you were actually-"

"Don't finish that sentence," Parad said coldly.

"I call maid of honor!" Nico shouted enthusiastically.

"Darn, I wanted to be maid of honor," Mizuki grumbled.

"Don't worry, you'll be a bride soon enough," Satsuki assured her with a smile.

"Hiiro, could you perform the ceremony?" Emu asked the surgeon eagerly.

Hiiro bowed gracefully. "It would be my honor."

"Thank you, Hiiro! We'll name you the godfather of our first child," Poppy promised.

"What? I thought I was going to be godfather!" Kiriya protested.

"That was a purely hypothetical discussion!" Emu hissed.

"Wait, can the two of them even-" a confused Taiga started.

"Wait! Hold on!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD protested. "I haven't given you permission to get married! I haven't even given you permission to date yet! You still haven't finished the game!"

"Oh please, like any of us really care about that anymore," Nico snorted.

"That would imply we cared in the first place," Taiga pointed out.

Parad laughed. "Yeah, good point! For that matter, now that Poppy's here instead of being held hostage backstage, why should we even bother to keep playing at all?"

"I've never known you to want to quit a game before," Emu commented.

"What, you want to keep going?" Parad asked incredulously.

"No, just pointing out it's uncharacteristic of you, is all," Emu replied.

"I'm within my rights to quit a game if I dislike it. I'm really sick of this one," Parad complained.

"You aren't the only one," Kiriya concurred as the others nodded in agreement.

"Have you forgotten? I can still trigger a new viral outbreak if you don't keep going!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD reminded them.

"No, you can't," Poppy explained, glaring at him.

"What are you talking about?" Kiriya asked.

"He's been bluffing the whole time!" Poppy informed them. "There is no new strain of the virus. He just claimed there was one to force you to play along with his game!"

"Don't listen to her, she's lying!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD yelled frantically.

"I'm NOT lying!" Poppy retorted angrily. "My new friends told me so!"

"Your new…gah! Dammit! I'm going to delete those Viruses for this!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD shouted furiously.

"You'll do no such thing!" Poppy replied. "Those Viruses are under my protection now! You're never going to lay a finger on them again!"

"So he was lying all this time?!" Taiga demanded, outraged.

"Should we really be surprised? It's stinking Kuroto!" Nico snarled.

"That's-" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD started.

"NOBODY CARES!" Everyone bellowed.

"So he was playing us this whole time? We suspected as much, but thanks for confirming it,," Emu told Poppy, who preened happily at his praise. "Now, I guess that means we no longer have to keep playing along."

"Which means we get to kill Kuroto finally?" Kiriya asked with a disturbingly psychotic grin.

"I think it does!" Parad agreed with an equally psychotic grin.

In unison, all the Riders raised their Gashats.

"Ngghhh! Dammit! Dammit, dammit, dammit!" Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD snarled, slamming a fist on his podium. "I was so close! SO CLOSE!"

Something lit up on his display. "… Is what I'd say if I hadn't just finished compiling the last bit of data I needed!" He crowed triumphantly. "I'd hoped to squeeze one or two more questions in, but the data I was able to collect from Poppy's fight with Zaizen gave me just enough data to complete my latest and greatest game yet! Behold! QUIZ CHRONICLE!"

He raised a blank Gashat into the air. Streams of code started flowing into it from his podium and the monitor, accompanied with several images of questions that had been asked throughout the game and snapshots of the various boss battles Riders had fought. The Gashat glowed, and an image of a silhouetted figure with an exposed brain and large glasses surrounded by question marks appeared underneath the label "Quiz Chronicle."

"ANOTHER Chronicle game?!" Cried an alarmed Taiga.

"And what's this one supposed to do?" Kiriya demanded.

Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD cackled insanely as he swapped his Gamer Driver for a Buggle Driver II. "Why don't I show you?"

 **| CLICK TO GO! QUIZ CHRONICLE! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

"HENSHIN!"

A purple and black holographic screen formed in the air above Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD as a ring of question marks appeared before him.

 **| BUG IT UP! RAISE YOUR IQ TO THE HEAVENS! CRUSH ALL WITH YOUR BRAIN! NOW, YOU ARE THE SMARTEST ONE THERE IS! |**

The question marks vanished into the Driver just before the holographic screen slammed down over Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD, enveloping him and the stage in purple and black lightning, the heroes crying out as they were bombarded with the bolts.

Deranged laughter echoed across the stage as the lightning dissipated, revealing Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD in a new form. He was now clad in armor resembling that of Kamen Rider Cronus, but covered in question marks and in his usual purple and black rather than green. His head armor resembled that of his Zombie Gamer form, only with overlarge glasses, transparent "hair" revealing a cybernetic brain crackling with electricity, and his head was still encased in a jar. He had become Kamen Rider Genm, Quiz Gamer Level infinity!

"And now," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD declared as the heroes pulled themselves to their feet. "The final round begins!"

He pressed a button on his console, and warp points suddenly appeared beneath him, Emu, and Poppy, all three of them teleporting away in a flash.

"EMU! POPPY!" Parad, roared, rushing for the warp points, only for them to disappear before he could reach them.

"Where did they go?!" Taiga demanded.

"Knowing Kuroto? Nowhere good," Kiriya snarled.

"Dammit, I can't believe we just let him get away with that! We just stood there and let him transform!" Nico raved. "… Why do people always do that, anyway?"

"A riddle for the ages," Satsuki said sagely.

"We have to go after them!" Parad insisted, eyes wide with worry and rage.

"We may have a problem of our own to contend with before we can even think about helping them," Hiiro observed as the audience rose to their feet, drew their weapons, and started rushing for the stage, shrieking with bloodlust.

Kiriya snorted. "These guys? Against all of us? This shouldn't take too long."

Taiga nodded. "Let's take care of them quickly, so we can go after our friends!"

"And make Kuroto pay!" Nico agreed.

As the mob swarmed towards the stage, the Riders activated their Gashats. And inserted them into their Drivers.

"HENSHIN!"

…

 **CONTINUE...?**

 **...**

 **Whew, that was a long one! Sorry it took so long, it's been a busy month or so. And as you can see, there's no question this time, because the story has finally reached its final stage. Tune in next time as the final boss battles begin!**

… **Before that though, I suppose I should talk a bit about the female Riders I used. While I'm sure you can recognize most of them, others may not be quite so memorable. To bolster Poppy's repertoire, I decided to draw in Riders from stage shows as well. Also – – on the rationale that the story takes place after the Another Ending trilogy, so it's feasible that more female Riders could have emerged by now, or characters who I personally believe would make good Riders got the option to become heroines in their own right – – I added a few new ones, though none of them are actually original characters. Amaki is Akira Amami, having finished her Oni training. Ixa Nigo is Megumi Aso after her husband died in a complete accident that totally wasn't premeditated murder, and took up the role after all the other candidates dropped out in a series of unrelated incidents. The Blue Mage is Rinko Daimon, since she somehow became one for the stage show. Medic is of course Medic, who became a Rider after being brought back from the dead, along with Brain and Heart. Revenant is Akari, who built her own Ghost Driver. Kunoichi is Rentaro's sister, Iroha. Valkyrie is from the upcoming Zero-One.**

 **And as for Natsumi, after defeating Decade and saving all worlds, she came to believe that she really did beat him in a fair and square fight. Whether or not she actually won in her own right or Tsukasa threw the fight doesn't matter at this point, since SHE believes it, and so does everyone else. Because of this, her reputation as the Destroyer of Destroyers spread, and eventually enough people across the world's believed that she really was among the strongest of Riders that it became a reality. Understandably, Tsukasa is somewhat less inclined to hang out with her much these days. (Also, she eventually turned into a Fangire after getting bitten by Kiva-la enough times.) Hope that clarifies things!**

 **And on one last note, even though Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD didn't get to ask Emu a question in this chapter, Emu was still involved in a very important question near the end. Can you guess what it was?**


	38. Final Boss Stage Phase 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me to.

…

Kyuubi beckoned a servant forward. The Dorodoro marched over to the ninja and knelt on the ground, presenting the Izanami Nail, Yomi Shuriken, and Kyuemon's mallet to the Sentai. "Now that I have been reunited with my family, I no longer have any need for these-"

Kyuemon coughed. "Well, actually-"

" _I no longer have any need for these,"_ Kyuubi repeated loudly, shooting a glare at her new sister-in-law-to-be. "So you can have them back."

Kyuemon pouted. "Don't worry, darling, we'll get you an even better magical instrument in no time," Bakeneko assured her.

"Thanks muchly!" Takaharu said cheerfully, accepting the three artifacts.

"It is my sincerest hope that we never see each other again," Kyuubi continued.

"The feeling is mutual," Sasuke informed her.

The kitsune turned to Rentaro and Yako. "As for you two… I trust that the reward I have given you for reuniting me with my family will be more than sufficient?"

The ninja and the nogitsune stared blankly at the gargantuan tortoise standing nearby as it munched on a tree, a grand palace stocked with obedient Dorodoro servants, every luxury imaginable, a state-of-the-art dojo, and numerous powerful magical ninja relics and enough treasure to buy several countries filling its vaults rising from its back. It wasn't as big or as splendorous as the palace on Orochi's back, but it was still nothing to sneeze at. And that wasn't even counting the numerous spells and charms of luck, good fortune, and fertility the fearsome Yokai sorceress had cast on them!

Yako opened her mouth to say something, and Rentaro quickly cut her off by saying, "Yep, yep, it's plenty. Thank you. It's more than enough. We don't need anything more, honest."

"But-" Yako protested.

" _We don't need anything more, honest_ ," Rentaro yelled.

Kyuubi smiled. "Good! I'm glad you are satisfied."

"Don't think you've seen the last of us, though!" Neko chimed. "Our girls seem to have taken quite a liking to you. We'll be sure to stop by to visit now and then!"

"We want to see Uncle Rentaro and Aunt Yako again!" Nyaria and Kyoko cheered.

Yako gasped. "Did you hear that, Rentaro? They called me an aunt! I thought I was NEVER going to hear anyone call me that, what with your sister and all! I mean, given how many suitors keep throwing themselves at her, it's amazing she hasn't taken any of them up yet."

"That's probably WHY she hasn't taken any of them up yet," Rentaro pointed out.

"In addition, if ever you are in need, merely speak my full name and I will be there as swiftly as I can," Kyuubi continued. "However, I ask that you do not abuse this blessing, and only use it when you are in the most dire of circumstances."

"I promise to never take advantage of this gift," Rentaro promised.

Kyuubi nodded. "Good, which is why I'm only giving you this power, instead of your mate, since she would definitely abuse it."

"… Yeah, she's got me there," Yako admitted.

"And with that, I believe it is time we are on our way," Kyuubi said, beckoning her family closer to her. "Now that my loved ones have been returned, there is much for us to catch up on."

"You've missed so many things, stuck in the underworld!" Neko told her children happily. "The world has changed a lot. It's a much more interesting and lively place now!"

"Should be fun, mama!" The girls chorused, hugging Usa between them.

"Before you go, great Yokai, there is one thing I was hoping you could tell me," Ninjaman spoke up, startling his comrades.

"Ninjaman, what are you doing?!" Jiraiya hissed. "Do you want us to get eaten by her giant snake?!"

Orochi licked its many lips eagerly, hoping this was going to happen.

Kyuubi frowned, annoyed by the delay, especially since it was caused by one of the ninjas that had cost her her family in the first place AND nearly killed her wife. "What do you want to know? And make it quick."

"Yokai draw power from negative emotions," Ninjaman pointed out. "You are clearly an extraordinarily powerful Yokai, but we've never heard of you until now. How have you been generating the emotions needed to make yourself so strong without drawing attention to yourself?"

"… That's actually a pretty good question," Kasumi admitted.

"Yeah, how HAS she been feeding herself?" A concerned Saizou wondered.

Kyuubi laughed. "What, you were expecting me to go on a rampage, attacking helpless mortals like those idiots you fight on a regular basis? Please! I'm not Daimaou or Gengetsu Kibaoni! Unlike them, I know how to be subtle and create an environment suitable for long-term farming of negative emotions. Among other things, I'm actually the owner of a powerful multimedia conglomerate known for its rather controversial news reporting. It's obvious which one, if you think about it. It's in the name, hidden in plain sight."

"And I'm involved in politics!" Neko added. "You might be surprised which officials I've secretly helped gain public office. Then again, maybe you wouldn't be. Honestly, you humans make it so easy, I barely have to exert any effort to get the worst possible people in positions of power!"

"Also, I deliberately go on message boards and make controversial statements just to drive people into a frenzy," Kyuubi went on. "The Internet is probably the finest invention you mortals have ever come up with, it makes spreading and feeding off of fear and hatred so easy!"

""Internet?" What's that?" Asked a confused Kitsune.

Tamaneko chuckled. "Oh, my love, you have no idea what you've missed out on. Just wait until I introduce you to cat videos…"

Laughing, the Yokai teleported away in a flash of Foxfire. Orochi glared at the assembled ninja, hissed, then slowly turned and started to slither away. The heroes stared after it, struck silent with horror.

Except for Takaharu, who cheerfully waved after the giant serpent, shouting, "Goodbye! It was a pleasure meeting you! I hope we can run into each other again sometime!" Hands on his hips, he turned to his friends. "They seemed nice, after the initial misunderstanding. Gosh, I hope someday I can have a family as tightly knit and loving as theirs! I bet I'd be a great husband and dad!"

"Takaharu, you ARE a husband and dad!" Fuuka shouted at him, infuriated.

Takaharu frowned. "You sure? I think I'd remember that."

His sister had to be halfheartedly held back from trying to strangle him.

"Did… Did we just help possibly the evilest creatures we've ever encountered go to continue terrorizing humanity in possibly the worst ways possible?" Ikkou asked slowly.

"I… I think we just did," said the horrified Tsurihime.

"Wicked," Yako said in awe. Rentaro face palmed.

"And there's not a damn thing we can do about it, thanks to the geas Kyuubi put on us!" Jiraiya said angrily.

"Yakumo, is there anything you can do?" Nagi asked hopefully.

The wizard shook his head regretfully. "This level of magic is beyond me. It's beyond most other magicians I know as well, though I suppose I can make inquiries."

"Actually, I might have an idea-" Kasumi was cut off when her phone started ringing. "Sorry, hold that thought, I have to take this." She answered the phone. "Kasumi Momochi, how can I help you? Oh! I wasn't expecting to hear from you so soon… eh? What's that? You mean it's that time already? Oh my. All right, I'll be over right away!" She hung up and glanced apologetically at the others. "Sorry about this, guys, but something's come up. I'm needed elsewhere."

"Why, what is it?" Asked a concerned Kinji.

"Recently, a colleague of mine put together a team of individuals with special qualities that will enable them to tackle dangers others in our line of work might not be able to face," Kasumi explained. "It looks like one such incident has just come up, and it's going to be our very first assignment. I have to get over there to help out."

"We'll come help you," Sasuke offered.

"Yeah, might as well get a feeling of accomplishment for SOMETHING today," Kota griped.

Kasumi shook her head. "Thanks, but this is for those with genius-level intellect or higher, sorry. Don't worry, I'll be fine, I'll be working alongside some of the smartest people on Earth and beyond. You guys take those artifacts back where they belong, I'll catch up with you later," the pink ninja promised.

She leapt into the air, landing on Byunmaru as it shot by, riding the super train off into the distance.

"So… Should we be insulted she didn't consider us smart enough to go with her?" Yousuke asked after a moment.

"I'm bored. Hey, let's pick a fight with that giant turtle! TAKAHARU IGASAKIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Takaharu shouted, charging towards the giant tortoise while screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Takaharu, no! For one thing, that's a tortoise, not a turtle!" Fuuka yelled, chasing after him.

"Hey, stay away from my house!" Yako cried, also racing after the red ninja.

"Yako, wait! Don't hurt him too badly, he's an idiot, he has no idea what he's doing!" Rentaro exclaimed, running after his mate.

"No," Yakumo said wearily. "No, we should not."

…

When Emu exited the warp point, he found himself in a dusty, empty quarry, completely distinct from every other abandoned quarry that every other Tokusatsu heroes had been fighting in since the dawn of time. "What… Where… Where is…"

There was a malevolent laugh, and Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD materialized nearby. "KUROTO!" Emu shouted, furious. "What have you done? Where are we?! And where is Poppy?!"

"You should be more worried about yourself right now, Emu Hojo," Ultimate Final Super Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD sneered. "And I no longer go by that name! From this day forth, I shall be known as… True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal!"

There was a long pause. "… Yeah, I'm not calling you that," Emu said flatly.

"You don't have to, because this is your final stage, Emu," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal taunted him. "Our last battle. Only one of us will walk away from here… And it's going to be ME!"

"You've thought as much in the past, but always been proven wrong," Emu pointed out. "What makes this time any different?"

"Because this time, I am more powerful than ever! Even more powerful than my God Maximum Gamer form!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal bragged. "And it's all thanks to you and your friends! The lot of you played right into my hands perfectly! Every question you answered right or wrong, every battle you or your friends fought, was all to provide me with the data to complete my latest and greatest creation: Quiz Chronicle!" He declared, gesturing to the Gashat plugged into his Driver.

"So the whole game was a set up," Emu said angrily. "A pretext into getting us to help you complete your newest weapon. Big shock there. You didn't even care about whether or not I dated Poppy, did you?"

"Of course I did!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal retorted, much to his surprise. "You aren't worthy of dating Poppy, and you never will be! The fact that this game will get you out of the way once and for all to make sure you never lay a hand on her is just a happy bonus for my real goal."

"World Dom-"

"WORLD DOMINATION!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal interrupted loudly.

Emu rolled his eyes. "Of course it is. So what, are you going to take over the world using quizzes or something?"

"As a matter fact, that's exactly what I'm going to do!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal declared, much to Emu's surprise. "Once Quiz Chronicle is perfected, I will be able to release copies of the game on computers, consoles, and mobile devices around the world for a modest sum. Due to hypnotic suggestions planted in viral marketing, everyone will feel compelled to download the game and play it. What they won't know, of course, is that the whole thing is an insidious trap!"

"Let me guess: they're going to have to answer a series of increasingly difficult questions. If they lose, they get turned into mindless Bugsters, and if they win, you're going to absorb their brain power to become the most intelligent being in the universe or something like that?" Emu asked, bored.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal did a double-take. "How did you figure that out?!"

"It's a quiz game! What other possible evil schemes could you do with it?!" Emu demanded. "Plus, you're kind of predictable that way, Kuroto!"

"That's-"

"I don't CARE what name you're calling yourself anymore!" Emu snapped. He paused for a moment. "And come to think of it, something about this plan feels vaguely familiar. Wasn't there a Sentai villain that tried something like this once?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said quickly.

"No, no, I'm pretty sure it was the guy the Livemen fought-"

"THIS IS A COMPLETELY ORIGINAL PLAN HOW DARE YOU I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF GREAT PROFESSOR BIAS OR THE GIGA BRAINWAVE BEFORE," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted at the top of his lungs.

Emu blinked. "I… Didn't mention Great Professor Bias or the Giga Brainwave. Anyway, given that you haven't started releasing this game yet, I'm going to assume something's gone wrong with your plan. You said it wasn't 'perfected?'"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal nodded reluctantly. "Unfortunately, while I was able to obtain enough data from Quiz Brain to create Quiz Chronicle, it's not yet at full power, which it will need to be for me to begin my plan for global conquest. If only I'd been able to get a few more questions out of you, I'd have already won by now… Fortunately, there's an easy enough workaround. All I have to do is kill you using the power of quizzes. The 'data of death' should be more than sufficient to allow Quiz Chronicle to realize its full potential."

"And how exactly are you planning to kill me with quizzes?" Emu asked incredulously.

" **Who was Henry VIII's fourth wife?**

 **A. Catherine**

 **B. Mary**

 **C. Elizabeth**

 **D. Anne**

 **E. Jane"**

Emu blinked in surprise as the question appeared in a holographic screen above True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's head, with crackling energy balls floating next to each option and serving as bullet points. "His… His fourth… What?"

"Answer the question!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal barked.

"Uh… Elizabeth?" Emu replied in confusion.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal burst into laughter. "INCORRECT!"

All the energy balls except for D flashed an angry red and shot forwards, slamming into Emu and exploding against his chest, throwing him backward with a scream. "Oh," he said dazedly, staring up at the sky. "THAT'S how you're going to kill me with quizzes."

"And there's plenty more where that came from!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal boasted. "Thanks to the data I've collected, I now have access to virtually every fact or piece of trivia known to man! All the knowledge of the human race is at my fingertips!"

"And that's different from Philip or your average person with a smart phone or access to Wikipedia how?" Emu grunted, pulled himself up.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal scowled. **"Who was the rigging best boy electric for the 1997 Film Titanic?**

 **A. Daniel Anaya**

 **B. Jeffrey Michael Adams**

 **C. Paul Amorelli**

 **D. Tom Baker"**

"How the heck am I supposed to know that?!" The incredulous Emu demanded.

"Wrong answer!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted as every energy ball except for C. flashed and shot towards Emu. He tried to bat them away with his Gashacon Breaker, only for the ball he hit to explode on impact, flinging him back, right into the other two balls, which exploded and slammed him into the ground face-first in a less than dignified position. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal burst into maniacal laughter at seeing his hated foe humiliated so. "Ha! You look just like Yamcha when he got killed that one time!"

"Nobody must know of this," Emu moaned as he pulled himself back up. "Okay, this is going to get old fast. Time I started fighting back!" He rushed towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, swinging his hammer at the laughing madman's jar-encased head…

MISS!

"Huh?"

Emu swung his hammer again.

MISS!

Emu shifted his weapon into its sword form and stabbed True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal in the chest.

MISS!

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal laughed even harder. Emu considered for a moment, then kicked him in the crotch.

MISS!

"Really? What made you think hitting me there would hurt anymore than it did anywhere else?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal taunted.

"Worth a shot," Emu grunted, poking True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal in the chest with his sword repeatedly, more MISS! Signs flashing from the point of impact. "What's going on? Why can't I hurt you?"

"The same reason you couldn't hurt me when I was using Quiz Brain: in this form, I am completely impervious to physical attacks!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal bragged. "The only thing that could possibly damage me would be if you got my questions right… Which you won't be able to, since I'm going to make sure to pick the most obscure questions possible, so that there's no way you could possibly be able to answer correctly! And no, none of them will be about videogames, since you'd probably be able to solve those easily."

"I see… In that case, I'll just have to change the rules with a little reprogramming!" Emu declared, reaching for his Maximum Mighty X Gashat… Only to find nothing. "What? Where is it?!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cackled and held up the Gashat in question. "Looking for these?"

Emu started. "Those are-! How did you get that?!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal grinned. "Think carefully, Emu. Remember how this all started?"

Emu blinked. "How this all started? What are you-"

And then he remembered.

" _UNACCEPTABLE!"_

 _Without warning, someone grabbed Poppy and ripped her off of the startled Emu. And that someone was… "KUROTO DAN!?" Everyone cried incredulously._

Emu gasped. "Back then… You swiped the Gashat from me?!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cackled. "Of course I did! I've been planning this right from the very start! You don't think I'd let you have something that might actually be able to defeat me just as I am ready to unleash my master plan, did you?" He laughed. "And without it, you can neither use your reprogramming ability OR utilize the full power of Hyper Muteki! And without either… There's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"You always think that, and you're always wrong," Emu retorted. "No game exists that can't be beaten. I'll find a way to stop you, with no continues!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal guffawed ungraciously. "You may wish you had continues like me, by the time we are done! **Why did Mossad agents kill a Moroccan waiter in Lillehammer, Norway, July 21, 1971?**

 **A. The service was terrible**

 **B. He was a terrorist involved in the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre**

 **C. They THOUGHT he was a terrorist involved in the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre**

 **D. Racism"**

"… B?" Emu asked uncertainly.

"WRONG!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal crowed, all of the orbs except for C flashing and flying towards Emu. He attempted to dive out of the way, but they homed in on him and exploded, flinging him away.

"This is really getting old!" Emu snapped, producing his Gekitotsu Robots Gashat.

 **[+] GEKITOTSU ROBOTS! [+]**

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

"Dai-Dai-Dai-Henshin!"

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! LEVEL UP! |**

A red robot flew out of his belt. It hovered around Emu for a moment before opening its mouth and chomping down on his upper body.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! LEVEL UP! MIGHTY JUMP! MIGHTY KICK! MIGHTY MIGHTY ACTION X! CLICK AND UP! PUNCH IT OUT! DUKE IT OUT! IMPACT PUNCH! GEKITOTSU ROBOTS! |**

Now in his Level 3 form, Emu charged towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, fists swinging. The villain laughed. "So pointless! **How long did extravehicular activities on the moon last during the Apollo 11 mission?**

 **A. Six hours and 39 minutes**

 **B. Two hours, 31 minutes, and 40 seconds**

 **C. 22 hours**

 **D. 19 minutes"**

The four options rotated in the air before True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, an energy field forming in the space between them. Emu threw a punch at the shield, only to rebound. Growling in irritation, he decided he'd just go around it…

And the energy balls all flashed and slammed into him, knocking him back with an explosion. "What?! But I didn't even pick anything that time!"

"Oh, did I forget to mention these questions all have a time limit?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal taunted. "Because they have a time limit!"

"Of course they do," Emu snarled, producing a new Gashat.

 **[+] SHAKARIKI SPORTS! [+]**

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! CLICK AND LOAD!|**

"Dai-Dai-Dai-Henshin!"

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! MIGHTY ACTION X! CLICK AND UP! SHAKARIKI! SHAKARIKI! BAD BAD! SHAKA TO RIKI TO SHAKARIKI SPORTS! |**

"I miss that form," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal confessed as Emu finished his transition into his alternate Level 3 form. "I think I'll take that Gashat back once I've killed you."

"Don't count your Bugsters before they mature!" Emu replied, the wheels on his shoulders spinning as he started running towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snorted. "Please. **How many suicide car bombers were there in Iraq in 2005?**

 **A. 50**

 **B. 39**

 **C. 72**

 **D. 119"**

"That many? Geez…uh, let's say 50!" Emu decided.

"Incorrect!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted, all of the options except for B flying towards Emu. Using this form's speed and agility, Emu zigzagged back and forth across the quarry, doing his best to evade the energy balls as best he could. Knowing that it was only a matter of time before they closed in, Emu made his move, leaping high into the air and hurling his wheels at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's head. The bladed wheels spun through the air and slammed into the jar encasing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's head…

And bounced off without a scratch. "Was that supposed to do any-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started before Emu slammed into him, knocking him to the ground, then grabbed him and flipped him over to use him as a shield just as the energy balls reached him, engulfing both of them in an explosion.

"How do you like that?" Emu grunted as the dust cleared.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cackled and punched him in the face, standing up and kicking him repeatedly in the stomach. "Just fine, thanks! Only CORRECT answers can harm me! Nice effort, though."

Gasping in pain, Emu managed to roll out of the way and produced another Gashat. "I'm not done yet!"

 **[+] JU JU BURGER! [+]**

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

"Dai-Dai-Dai-Dai Henshin!"

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! MIGHTY ACTION X! CLICK AND UP! BUR~GER BUR~GER JU JU BURGER! |**

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared in disbelief at Emu, who was now in his Burger Gamer Level 4 form. "Ju Ju Burger? Really?! Are you even TRYING to take this seriously?!"

"I'm taking this very seriously," Emu said very seriously. As serious as anyone wearing rollerskates with condiment cannons strapped to his arms could be, anyway.

"I didn't even know that Gashat still existed! I thought I destroyed it," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal ranted.

"It _has_ been a while since I've used it," Emu admitted.

"You must really be scraping the bottom of the barrel if you're resorting to this thing. I expected you to use your Level 5 or X forms. They'd have been useless, but at least you wouldn't be embarrassing yourself trying to fight in them," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal jeered. "What good do you think that's going to do you?"

"This." Emu pointed his condiment cannons at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal and fired, covering the jar encasing his head in ketchup and mustard.

"Gah! I can't see!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried in alarm, frantically trying to wipe the condiments out of his vision and only succeeding in smearing them around some more. Emu rushed across the ground on his skates, tearing up the ground, and clotheslined True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, knocking him off his feet and slamming him to the ground.

"Gah!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal staggered back to his feet and wiped as much of the ketchup and mustard out of his vision as he could. "And just what was that supposed to accomplish? I didn't feel a thing!"

"I wasn't trying to hurt you," Emu said, raising a hand in revealing that he was holding Maximum Mighty X. "I was trying to get this."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal gasped in horror. "No! DON'T!"

Emu did **.**

 **[+] MAXIMUM MIGHTY X! [+]**

"HENSHIN!"

Emu slammed the Gashat into his Driver…

And fell to his knees, screaming in agony as electricity coursed through his body, his Rider Gauge rapidly depleting.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal burst into laughter. "You idiot! I told you not to do it!"

Frantically scrabbling at his Driver, Emu managed to eject the Gashat, which fell to the ground and shattered. He doubled over in pain, gasping and struggling to breathe as arcs of electricity and plumes of smoke rose from his body. "I… I don't understand… what…?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal laughed and laughed and laughed. "Fool! Did you really think I would be stupid enough to bring the real Maximum Mighty X with me? I left it back at the studio! That was nothing more than a decoy!"

Emu glanced up at that. "At the studio… Then my friends-"

"Will do NOTHING!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal ran over and slapped Emu across the face, knocking him to the ground. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started kicking and stomping on him repeatedly. "Even if they managed to survive the Bugster army I left for them to face – – to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if they did – – they'll still have no way to follow us, let alone give you your Gashat! I bounced our teleport across so many servers it will take them ages to entangle our trail! And even then, I've covered this location with so many firewalls even Hiiro will have trouble slicing through them, and not even Parad's DNA link will let him instantaneously come to your side!"

"They'll find a way," Emu denied. "They always do."

"Imbecile!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal punched him in the face, then grabbed him by the neck and pulled him up, lifting him off the ground. "I've learned from my past defeats! I have accounted for every possibility, every chance for failure! I've been planning this for longer than you can imagine! This time, I will not lose! **Finally, I shall prevail!**

 **A. True**

 **B. False"**

"False!" Emu replied defiantly.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal laughed. "Incorr-"

The B energy ball flashed blue and slammed into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, exploding and causing him to drop Emu and stagger back. "Wh-what?!" He cried in astonishment. "No…no, that's not possible! There must be some sort of glitch, a-a fluke, or-"

"It's no glitch, Kuroto," Emu said slowly as he picked himself back up, hope rising in his chest once again. "Even your perfect defense has a weakness… And I think I just figured it out."

"What weakness? As I've already told you, and you just saw, only correct answers can harm me!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal pointed out. "Which means all I have to do is keep asking you questions you can't possibly know the answers to, and I'll win!"

"You're right, Kuroto," Emu agreed.

"That's-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started, but Emu cut him off.

"I might not know the answers, but someone else does, and I think I know just how to reach him," Emu said triumphantly.

"You're speaking nonsense! There's nobody you could possibly contact who would know the answers, especially since my firewalls will keep out all contact with the outside world!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal pointed out in annoyance.

"Who says I'm going to be contacting the outside world?" Emu asked.

"Eh?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said, not getting it.

"You don't get it, do you? Good. It means you don't know all the answers after all," Emu said smugly, producing a Gashat. "And I'm fairly certain you didn't foresee that THIS would be the solution to all my problems."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal did a double-take. "Th-that Gashat! That's-!"

"Mighty Creator VRX," Emu finished proudly.

"But how… why do you still have that?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked.

"Why wouldn't I?" Emu asked.

"… I have no good answer for that," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal admitted. "But I still don't see how that can possibly-"

"Watch and see for yourself," Emu said, activating the Gashat.

 **[+] MIGHTY CREATOR VRX! {+]**

 **| CLICK TO CLOSE! CLICK TO LOAD! |**

"Dai-Henshin!"

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! POWER TO CREATE THE WORLD! GET MAKE! GAMER OF THE FUTURE! MIGHTY CREATOR VRX! |**

"I will make a game using no continues!" Emu declared as the swirling colors faded and he was clad in the armor of his Creator Gamer form.

"I've yet to see anything yet!… Also, how are you able to use that outside of virtual reality? I wasn't aware that could be used in the real world," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal asked in confusion.

"Through the power of IMAGINATION!" Emu declared dramatically.

…

Elsewhere, the Conductor of the Rainbow Line sneezed.

"I think someone's stealing your catchphrase!" Ticket, the hand puppet monkey, shouted obnoxiously.

Conductor shrugged amiably. "Well, if it helps them, more power to them."

…

"… That explains nothing!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal whined.

"Actually, it explains EVERYTHING," Emu countered. "In this form, I can create anything I imagine… Anything I need to take you down! Including THIS!"

The side horns of his helmet lit up, and the projectors on his shoulder activated, generating what appeared to be… A Scouter from Dragon Ball Z?

"Is that a Scouter from Dragon Ball Z?" Asked the baffled True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Anything you can think of, and you use that? You don't even need it anyway, I can already tell you my power level is infinite!"

"I highly doubt that, but it's not a Scouter, it just looks like one," Emu explained, grabbing the device and clipping it to his helmet. "Now… Contact Mondo Douan!"

"EH?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal screamed as the device started ringing.

" _Moshi Moshi. Mondo Douan here. I've been expecting your call, Emu,"_ a familiar voice spoke into Emu's ear.

"You have? Oh right, of course you have," Emu realized. "You're from the future, and you've been studying this game all your life, which means you knew this was coming."

" _That's right, I did. I've got the footage from your battle queued up right here, and I can provide the answers to every question he asks of you in real time,"_ Mondo confirmed. _"I gotta say, it's kind of a big thrill to be doing this. I've been waiting for this moment for years, and now, at last, it's finally come! It's like destiny!"_

"Wait… Wait a second! You're calling someone else to get the answers?! That's cheating!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested.

Emu gave him a blank look. "Really?"

"Plus, how are you even calling someone in the FUTURE?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted. "That shouldn't be possible!"

"Anything is possible… With the power of imagination!" Emu bragged, his projectors generating a rainbow.

…

The Conductor sneezed again. Ticket did not give him a handkerchief, because he was a jerk.

…

"Well… If Mondo is going to be feeding you answers, then I simply won't ask you any questions!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal decided. "Yes, that's it! I'll just beat you to death with my bare hands! It will take longer, but I'm still invincible! You can't generate any weapon that could possibly be a threat to me!"

"Not even this?" Emu asked, as his projectors activated again, creating a Gashacon Key Slasher.

"… NO! DON'T YOU DARE!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal screamed in horror, realizing what was about to happen.… Then he started laughing. "Wait, what am I worried about? You can't actually reprogram me! You don't have Maximum Mighty X!"

Emu's shoulder projectors activated once more, generating a Maximum Mighty X Gashat.

"… Oh, COME ON!"

Emu inserted the Gashat into his weapon.

 **| MAXIMUM CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! MAXIMUM MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Emu pointed the blade, now in its gun form, at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"No! I shall not be bested like this!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried, gesturing and causing half a dozen questions to form in front of him, creating a multi-layered barrier. "You'll never get through-"

"Alexander the Great, Aaron Burr, Dominique Johnson, Schweitenkirchen, AAC Capital Partners, and crocodiles," Emu answered rapid-fire thanks to quick input from Mondo, each question shattering and the correct answers slamming into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal and exploding, each hit knocking him back with a grunt of pain. Those grunts turned into screams as Emu finished charging up his weapon and fired, a tremendous beam of magenta energy blasting out from his sword and piercing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, the villain finding himself encased in a sphere of magenta energy as every inch of his body was bombarded with power rewriting his code down to the cellular level.

The sphere finally shattered, and True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal collapsed to the ground, gasping for breath and trembling. "N-no…" He rasped. "My invincibility… It's… It's gone!"

"As always, you make the mistake of underestimating your opponent's intelligence," Emu lectured his nemesis, tightening his grip on the Key Slasher. "Just because we don't have an IQ as high as yours doesn't mean we're complete idiots. And the fact that you always are resorting to the same sort of gimmicks and tricks doesn't help either. Let me guess, the main strengths of that form are your ability to ask random trivia questions nobody could possibly figure out on their own and your immunity to physical attacks to cover for the fact that, as always, you're shit at fighting. And without those advantages, all you've really got going for you are an absurdly large health pool and whatever extra lives you cheated your way into giving yourself this time. Am I right?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared at the ground, trembling with rage as his hands tightened into fists. "You… You think you're so smart, don't you? 'Genius Gamer M?!'" He snarled, voice thick with vitriol. "You think you can look down on me? ME?! You think you've got me all figured out?! You've got NOTHING! I'm the game master! ME! True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal! And you… You're nothing but an insolent gamer who refuses to follow the rules and just DIE already!"

The ground started trembling, and Emu glanced around in alarm. "What the-"

"As always, you overreach by thinking yourself intelligent enough to understand what I can or can't do," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal ranted. "I have far more tricks up my sleeve then you can imagine! Tricks like THESE!"

The ground exploded, and specimens of every variant of Bugster Union rose up from beneath the earth, roaring and shrieking with fury. Unlike the usual Bugster Unions, these were silvery in color, had overlarge glasses, and had holographic screens with questions projected over their heads, the answer option orbs either floating around them or forming parts of their body. "Behold, the Quiz Bugster Unions!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal declared. "These are far more powerful than the standard Bugster Unions, resistant to attacks from Level 1 Riders, and can only be defeated by correctly answering the question attached each one!"

"… Which means I can defeat them easily, since I've got Mondo feeding me the answers?" Emu pointed out slowly.

"Yes, but can he provide you with the correct answers while you're fighting them all at once?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal retorted.

" _I can,"_ Mondo confirmed.

"He can," Emu relayed to True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"Ah, but can you do so while dealing with all of THESE!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal crowed as several dozen Bugster Viruses materialized.

Emu was distinctly unimpressed. "Yeah, not impressed. Pretty sure I can take these all out by myself thanks to my Creator Gamer powers… But you know what? There's a lot of people who've been itching for a piece of you, and it wouldn't be fair if I kept you all to myself, so I think I'm going to bring my friends over to give them a chance at you."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal scoffed. "And just how do you propose to do that?"

"With this," Emu said as his projectors generated a remote control.

"And what's that supposed to do?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal asked warily.

Emu pushed a button. "Oh, not much. Just deactivate your firewalls and send up a big signal so everyone knows where we are. Not just my friends, but anyone else who feels like joining in in case we need more backup or last-minute deus ex machinas."

"WHAT?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal screamed in horror.

"KUROTO!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal whirled around just in time to see Parad materialize in his Level 99 form and punch him so hard it cracked the jar around his head, knocking him off his feet and sending him flying, wailing, "It's True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternaaaaaaaaaaaaaal!"

"Literally nobody cares!" Parad shouted at him.

"Parad! Glad you could make it!" Emu said happily. "Where are the others?"

"On their way," Parad said, cracking his knuckles as a whimpering True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal staggered to his feet. "I was ready to jump the instant I picked up your signal. Good to see you found a way to derail this bastard's plans on your own! You sure you even needed our help?"

"Probably not, but I figured it wouldn't be fair to everyone to take him all by myself," Emu said magnanimously.

"Your generosity is appreciated. Hey, where's Poppy?" Parad asked, glancing around.

"No clue," Emu said, glaring at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Maybe we can persuade Kuroto to talk?"

Parad laughed. "If by 'persuade,' you mean 'beat the shit out of,' I'm game!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal through up a hand. "Not so fast! **Who was the master of Obama Castle in 1595?**

 **Gamō Katahide**

 **Gamō Ujisato**

 **Gamō Chūzaemon"**

Parad blinked in confusion. "What? I thought we were done with quizzes! And since when did that President guy have a castle? I'm pretty sure he wasn't alive back then."

"We're not quite through with quizzes yet," Emu said, generating and tossing another not-scouter to Parad. "Here, put this on quick and say whatever the guy on the other end tells you to!"

"What? Well, okay…" He mused, Parad put the not-scouter on. "Hello? Mondo? Oh cool, I'm talking to you in the future! That's awesome! Wait, how is this possible?"

"Imagination!" Emu chanted, conjuring a rainbow.

"Still not a real answer!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled.

"Is too!" Emu retorted.

"C!" Parad cried triumphantly.

"DAMMIT!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled as the C globe bombarded him.

"Sweet! So, why are we still answering questions?" Parad asked.

"Obviously, Kuroto's new form utilizes quizzes to attack, with wrong answers harming the questionee and right answers harming the questioner," Hiiro deduced as he appeared along with the others, all of them in their strongest forms. "What's more, he intends to use this quiz power to take over the world by forcing everyone on Earth to play this new game, stealing the brainpower of anyone who wins and turning everyone else into a Bugster."

"How did you figure that out?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal demanded. "You just got here!"

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro bragged.

"That's even less of an answer than the imagination crap!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted.

"Honestly, it's kind of obvious," Nico commented, twirling her gun in one hand. "I mean really, what other ways are you supposed to take over the world using quizzes?"

"Here, everyone take one of these," Emu said, generating and tossing not-scouters to each of his friends. "This will allow you to talk with Mondo Douan. He'll be able to give us the answers for any questions Kuroto or his minions can throw at us."

"Will you stop doing that?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal demanded.

"No."

"Hey Taiga, what does the scouter say about his power level?" Kiriya joked as he put on his device.

"We are not doing that bit," Taiga said bluntly. "Besides, all of us know each other's power levels already."

Kiriya pouted. "You're such a killjoy. Oh, and while we're exchanging gifts, here." He tossed Emu the Maximum Mighty X Gashat. "We found this. Figured you'd need it."

"Thanks, man," Emu said gratefully.

"What! How did you find that?! I hid it somewhere you'd never find it!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested in disbelief.

"One of Poppy's friends showed us where to find it," Satsuki explained.

"Those traitors!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snarled.

"Hey, where is Poppy anyway?" Nico asked.

"No clue. Kuroto knows, but he's not talking," Emu growled.

"Then let us make him talk," Hiiro said calmly, raising his blade.

"Not so fast! You'll have to get through all of my Bugsters first!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal declared, quickly retreating to safety behind his minions.

"Is that supposed to concern us?" Mizuki asked in amusement.

"It should, seeing as how I've used all the data I've accumulated during your boss fights to augment my minions! Not only are they now resistant to the games you've used today, each of them is as strong as your standard monster of the week!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal crowed. "And you'll have to deal with not just them, but my special Quiz Bugster Unions, which can only be defeated by getting the questions right! And while I suppose you can do that thanks to your blatant cheating, can you do so while also fending off constant attacks from my horde?"

"… Okay, that could be a bit of a challenge," Nico admitted reluctantly.

"I care not what obstacles stand before us. My blade shall cut through them all," Hiiro proclaimed.

"I think I have an idea on how to make it easier," Parad spoke up. "Guys, let's use the Nintendo Legend Gashats my dad gave us!"

"I gave you no such thing!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested.

"I'm talking about my REAL dad, Mr. Miyamoto!" Parad countered. "You're dead to me. Especially after I kill you. Again."

"Hey, that's a great idea!" Said an excited Kiriya.

"But Parad, you've already used your Super Mario Brothers Gashat today," Emu pointed out. "And you can't level up to your stronger form in it or else I'LL change as well, and everything I've created with Mighty Creator VRX will disappear. You'll be at a tremendous disadvantage."

Parad waved him off. "Mario and Luigi live in a world where they can die in one or two hits just from bumping into a freaking Goomba, and I've mastered all of their games. I'll be fine. And hey, if I die, there's nothing to worry about. Poppy isn't the only one who's started backing herself up!"

"Actually, it IS something to worry about," Emu countered. "All Kuroto needs to unleash his master plan is for one of us to get a Game Over so he can get 'data of death.'"

Kiriya groaned. "Not that nonsense again…"

"Then I still have nothing to worry about," Parad said confidently. "Because I've got the best co-op partner in the world watching my back! We've got this, bro!" He glanced at the others. "Everyone, get your Nintendo Legend Gashats ready!"

All the other Riders produced their Gashats. "Ready!"

"Then let's do this!"

 **[+] SUPER MARIO BROTHERS/METROID/LEGEND OF ZELDA/STAR FOX/EXCITEBIKE/MYSTICAL NINJA/PUNCH OUT! [+]**

" **HENSHIN!"**

 **| DOUBLE-CLICK AND OPEN! CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! MARIO BROTHERS! LET'S-A-GO! MARIO BROTHERS! MAMA MIA! SUPER MARIO BROTHERS! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! THE FEARLESS BOUNTY HUNTER! BRING TRUE PEACE TO SPACE! METROID! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! SAVE THE PRINCESS! BEARER OF COURAGE! LEGEND OF ZELDA! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! BE AN ACE FIGHTER! DO A BARREL ROLL! STAR FOX! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! EXCITE! EXCITE! RAISE THE BEAT! EXCITEBIKE! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! GO-GO-GO-GOEMON! MYSTICAL NINJA! |**

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LEVEL UP! PUNCH, P-PUNCH, P-PUNCH PUNCH! BE THE CHAMP! PUNCH OUT! |**

Once all of the musical jingles, holographic screens, and flying robots died down, all seven Riders stood there in their new forms. Parad was once again in his Luigi-reminiscent Brothers Gamer form. "Still Luigi…" He muttered. "Oh well. It's-a-me, Parad-o!"

Hiiro examined his new armor, mildly impressed. His usual helmet had been replaced by a long green conical headpiece going down his back. His body suit had turned green and white, his chest armor resembled a green chain mail tunic, and his boots, which were now brown and gold, had wings for heels. In one hand he clutched what looked like the legendary Master Sword, with an A and B button grafted onto the hilt, and in his other a Hylian shield. "So… I am Zelda, now?"

Nico groaned. "Oh my Gaim, Hiiro, Zelda is the PRINCESS. You're dressed like Link, the hero of the series! I figured that even YOU would know that by now!"

"Then why is the series named after Zelda if you don't play as her?" Asked the confused Hiiro.

"Ugh, I don't even," Nico groaned, throwing her hands up in exasperation. Or rather, hand, seeing as how her right forearm was encased in a massive cannon. Her helmet, chest armor, shoulder armor, and boots all looked like they'd been taken from Samus Aran's famous Varia Suit. The rest of her body had turned orange and yellow to match. "Forget it, I'm too happy that I'm finally fulfilling a childhood dream to care."

Taiga wore armor resembling his Combat Gamer Level 3 form, only his chest armor and wings had been redesigned to look like they were from an Arwing. His body suit had changed to the colors of a fox, his helmet had been replaced by Fox McCloud's headset, and he had a pair of fox ears sticking out of the top of his head and a fox tail growing from his rear. He poked his new ears in confusion. "… Why do I have these? Oh Gaim, have I just been turned into a furry?"

Kiriya had become a motorcycle. He looked like his Bike Gamer Level 2 form, only his colors had been changed to match the motorcycle from the cover of the original Excitebike. "… And I'm a motorcycle again. I shouldn't be as surprised as I am about this. Uh, can someone ride me?"

Mizuki's armor looked about the same, but the colors had changed to resemble Goemon's standard red and yellow, her hair had turned blue, and instead of a sword, she now found herself holding a large kiseru. She regarded the smoking pipe in confusion. "… This is certainly an unorthodox weapon."

Satsuki was now wearing armor resembling Emu's Fighter Gamer Level 39 form, but was black and green in coloration, had oversized green metal boxing gloves for hands off, and shorter black hair. She jabbed the air a few times to test her new fists out. "All right, I suppose I can work with this."

"So I'm up against Luigi, Link, Samus, Fox, Goemon, Little Mac, a random motorcycle, and whatever Emu is supposed to be," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered. "Lovely. Why not invite the whole Super Smash Brothers while you're at it?"

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" Parad exclaimed. "Emu, do you think dad would let us meet them someday?"

"I was being sarcastic! Get them!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled at his minions, who howled and charged towards the heroes.

Parad leapt into the air, landing on the head of a Virus and rebounding off it, causing it to vaporize beneath him. He happily bounced from head to head across the shrieking horde, laughing as Virus after Virus was literally crushed beneath his heel. "Haha, this is awesome! I was expecting something harder!"

Several of the Bugsters promptly pointed their very sharp, very pointy giant forks into the air. Very sharp, very pointy forks he was about to land on. "Aaaaaaaaaaaand I really need to learn when to keep my mouth shut."

Suddenly, a large block materialized right above the oversized culinary instruments. He landed on it with a bit more force than he expected, wobbling and nearly falling off. "Whoa! Where did this come from?"

"Over here!" Emu yelled from the outskirts of the swarm, waving as he generated several more blocks to float above the Viruses. "I wouldn't be a very good co-op partner if I didn't have your back, now did I? And speaking of which, maybe this'll help!"

A large red and white-spotted mushroom with eyes dropped out of the air and landed on Parad. Sparkles surrounded him, and he suddenly shifted into his Level XX Form. "Oh! A Super Mushroom! Good call!" Parad exclaimed, realizing what his partner done. "Now I can get stronger without forcing you to level up!"

"And there's more where that came from when you need it," Emu promised. Several of the Viruses realized he was responsible for saving their prey and angrily charged towards him. He responded by generating a Chain Chomp, which barked loudly and started hopping across the ground towards them, chain rattling and metal teeth gnashing. The Viruses shrieked and promptly started running away, pursued by the hungry beast.

"Awesome!" Parad started jumping from block to block, hurling balls of green electricity downwards, obliterating Virus after Virus in emerald blasts. "Yeah, can't touch this, can't touch-"

"Parad, look out!"

"Huh?"

The Quiz Bugster Union swatted him out of the air with a meaty silver fist, causing him to revert back to his previous form. Emu quickly generated a block for him to land on before he could fall into the midst of the angry Viruses. "Ow. Right. Forgot about that guy. Emu, why didn't you warn me about that guy?!"

"I did!" Emu protested as he conjured up another Super Mushroom to power Parad up again.

"Well, you should've done it faster!" Parad snapped.

Emu rolled his eyes. "Ugh, this is New Super Mario Brothers Wii U all over again…"

Getting his bearings, Parad concentrated on the Quiz Bugster Union, which resembled the golem -like creature Emu had faced in his very first battle. Floating over its head was the question, **Who directed the 1996 made-for-TV movie Inside?** Energy orbs with **A. Bima Stagg, B. Arthur Penn, C. Nigel Hawthorne** , and **D. Eric Stoltz** written on them made up its shoulders and knees.

" _The answer is B.,"_ Mondo said helpfully, displaying the answer on Parad's eyepiece.

Parad nodded. "Right. Now I've got to get over there… Hey Emu, think you can give me another power-up?"

"I've got just the one," Emu said, concentrating.

A sparkling star with eyes dropped from the sky onto Parad, causing him to start flashing and emitting sparkles as well as a catchy jingle started playing. "Oho! A Super Star! Nice!"

"It only lasts for 10 seconds! Don't be like Kuroto and waste it!" Emu reminded him.

"HEY!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted.

Parad laughed as he jumped off of his block. "No chance of that!" He brought his hammer down in a mighty swing as he descended, blowing away all the Viruses beneath him in a wave of green lightning. Fully aware his time was limited, he charged forwards through the crowd, his invincibility allowing him to plow through the mob and send them flying, each Virus wailing as it was hurled away and disintegrated. As he rushed towards the Bugster Union, however, he noticed his glow was starting to flicker. "Almost out!"

"Don't worry, I've got you covered!" Emu promised.

The golem shrieked and wound up its arm, preparing to strike. At that exact moment, Parad's invincibility ran out. "Any time now!"

The monster thrust his arm forwards…

Just as a silvery metal cap landed on Parad's head, causing his entire body to take on a chrome sheen. The golem's fist smashed into Parad's metallized body and rebounded, the beast screeching in surprise. Parad blinked. "Okay, not what I expected, but I'll take it!"

Before the golem could recover, he charged forwards, dropping to the ground and sliding beneath its legs, hitting the B orb making up its right knee as he went. The sphere burst, taking out the monster's leg from under it, and it wailed in dismay as it came toppling down, crushing over a dozen Viruses beneath its weight before exploding and wiping out a dozen more.

 **| PERFECT! |**

"Yeah! Nice work, partner!" Emu whooped.

"We're like the best team ever!" Parad agreed, giving him a thumbs up.

Nearby, Hiiro was surrounded by Bugsters on all sides wielding staves, forks, and blades. They howled and jeered and rushed towards him en masse to try and crush him beneath their overwhelming numbers.

More the fools they.

Hiiro's sword flashed through the air, slicing through Bugster flesh again and again, pixels and orange matter flying, every strike finding its mark, every stroke deadly, his blade and shield working in accord as he countered and parried and deflected attacks, the force behind his blows so strong that even Bugsters some distance away were blown back by his attacks.

 _Incredible_ , he thought to himself. _This sword is at least as powerful as my Gashicalibur, if not more so. What else, I wonder, is it capable of?_

Deciding to find out for himself, he started rapidly tapping the A button on the hilt, charging energy into it. When the blade was so full of energy it had turned a brilliant blue, he lashed out with a resounding cry. Much to his amazement, a beam of light shot out from the sword, cleaving through the Bugsters before him, slicing through their numbers and clearing a gap that extended all the way out to the end of the mob.

The attacking Bugsters paused for a moment, startled by the ferocity of the attack, glancing at the large space where their comrades had once been, then back at Hiiro. Hesitantly, one of them took a step back.

Hiiro's eyes narrowed. "No. There is no escape."

He rapidly began tapping the B button, causing his blade to charge up with energy again, this time red. With a mighty cry, he swung his sword… And kept swinging, spinning around and around like a bladed top, rapidly whirling through the crowd, slicing through the Bugsters like a harvester through wheat, the Bugsters wailing in anguish as his blade cut through them again and again.

Moving in a chaotic spiral, he mercilessly worked his way through the horde before finally plowing through the far side and coming to a stop, not even looking remotely dizzy from his tornado spin. Behind him, the Bugsters convulsed, fell to their knees, and exploded spectacularly. "There is nothing I cannot cut."

With a grotesque shriek, a Bugster Union emerged from the flames and started stomping towards him. He was familiar with this type, resembling a bacteriophage or a wall torch. Over its head hung the question, **What was the third football team Ryan Neufeld played on during his professional career?** Energy balls labeled **A. Buffalo Bills, B. Miami Dolphins, C. Florida Tuskers, D. Omaha Nighthawks, E. Dallas Cowboys** and **F. Seattle Seahawks** formed its leg joints, with **G. Jacksonville Jaguars** on the top of its head.

"Mondo. What's the answer to this question?" Hiiro inquired.

" _It's G_.," Mondo informed him. _"You going to have a problem getting to its weak point way up there?"_

"You're from the future. You know how this plays out. Therefore, you know the answer to that," Hiiro replied.

Mondo laughed. _"That's right, I do. Which is how I also know that I was supposed to ask you that, since that's what the historical record shows. Go get it, Kagami. After all, there's nothing you cannot cut, right?"_

"Precisely." Hiiro charged towards the monster. The Bugster Union howled and wobbled its head around, launching fireballs from its central eye. Most of the fireballs flew wild, exploding on the ground around him as he zigzagged towards the beast, but as one hurtled right towards him, he thrust his shield out, smashing into it just before it could impact him and sending it flying back at the monster's eye. The fireball exploded, causing the Bugster Union to reel back, shrieking and waving its head around wildly.

Hiiro leapt into the air, drawing back his blade to strike. Just as the tip of the monster's head passed before him, he lashed out…

And missed, his sword cutting through the air micrometers away from the energy orb. " _You missed_!" Mondo cried.

"Incorrect." Hiiro held down the A button, charging power into his blade, and used the momentum of his swing to spin back around and fire a sword beam, the energy blast slicing through the orb. "I merely did not hit yet."

 **| PERFECT! |**

The Bugster Union shrieked in agony and exploded. " _Fruit Jesus_ ," Mondo said in awe as Hiiro landed. _"You really_ can _cut anything."_

"Was there ever a doubt?" Hiiro said calmly.

Nearby, Taiga was having a great time fighting Bugsters. This was mainly because his new form allowed him to fly, something no Virus could, and they didn't really have any projectile weapons they could use to retaliate, meaning he could make as many strafing runs as he wanted, blasting them with lasers and blowing them up with the occasional smart bomb as he wanted, without fear of retribution.

That lasted up until Mondo yelled, _"Do a barrel roll!"_

Confused, Taiga made a complete rotation on his longitudinal and lateral axes, moving in a helical path…

And flew right into a giant bullet fired from below by a Bugster Union resembling a giant gun. "Gah! I flew right into that!" He yelled as he tumbled through the air, thrusters flaring to try and compensate. "What the hell?!"

" _You would've been fine if you did a barrel roll! What the hell was that?"_

"That WAS a barrel roll!" Taiga protested.

" _What? No it wasn't, you didn't do a 360° spin!"_ Mondo argued.

"That's an AILERON roll!" Taiga countered. "A barrel roll is something totally different!"

" _Really? Huh. I guess that old rabbit was wrong. Go figure,"_ Mondo remarked in surprise.

"Huh?"

" _Not important. If you'd done a barrel roll-"_

"Aileron roll."

" _Aileron roll, you have generated a brief shield that would've allowed you to deflect that attack."_

"Oh."

The Bugster Union fired more bullets. Taiga quickly did a barrel – – AILERON roll, a blue force field briefly flaring to life around him as he spun, causing the bullets to be deflected off of him and explode in midair. "Like that?"

" _Yeah, like that! Also, the answer is Eleanor."_

"Eleanor?" It was then Taiga noticed that the question hovering above the giant gun was **Which West Virginian town is named after the wife of Pres. Franklin D. Roosevelt?** "Oh, I see. But where are the…"

The gun fired four giant bullets. Taiga noticed that each of them was labeled with a letter and a name. One of them was labeled Eleanor. "Right, got it."

He fired his lasers at the Eleanor bullet. The bullet flashed and promptly reversed course, flying back into the barrel of the gun. The oversized weapon trembled and shook, flipping wildly in all directions as it began to swell up. Seeing his chance, Taiga did a pass, firing a smart bomb right down one of the barrels as he made his attack run. As he flew off, the gun exploded spectacularly, splattering silver slime everywhere.

 **| PERFECT! |**

Taiga flipped around so that he could gaze back his handiwork. "Nice shooting, if I do say so myself-"

" _Do a barrel roll!"_

Taiga reflexively twirled, his force field flashing into existence just in time to deflect a blow from a large Bugster Union resembling some sort of giant sea creature. "I told you, it's an aileron roll!"

" _Yeah, but that's not how the meme goes."_

"What?"

" _Never mind, just take that thing out. The answer is F."_

"Understood," Taiga reported, engaging his new adversary.

While Satsuki was a martial artist, she'd never actually tried boxing before. Her training focused on turning her entire body into lethal weapon, not just her fists.

Nevertheless, she could not help but relish the satisfaction in being able to pulverize a foe with nothing more than her gloved hands. Shouting kiais, she threw a left jab at a Virus, followed by a right hook and finishing with a left uppercut that sent it flying. Before it could get too far, however, she hit it with an overhead arcing back fist that slammed it to the ground hard enough to obliterate it, as well as creating a shockwave which knocked the Bugsters around her over.

More Bugsters came, leaping over their fallen comrades. One swiped its weapon at Satsuki's head, but she ducked and dealt a crouching short-straight punch to its knee, breaking it. As it squealed and started to teeter over, she sent it flying with an uppercut, launched into a forward cross that sent the Virus behind it flying, then whirled around and hit a goon trying to attack her from behind with a body hook so strong its head was buried in the earth. She hit a fourth Virus with a wide uppercut, then spun 180° to throw downward angled right hooks at all the Bugsters on the ground, finishing them off.

Jumping into the air, she threw a downward angled straight jab at a Virus that had been charging towards her, caving its head in, then linked it into a hook, back fist, upward arcing hook, and downward punch to take out the next four Bugsters. She clinched another one before she could hit the ground, spinning it around and throwing it away with a uppercut that knocked back several other Bugsters as well, and immediately threw a dashing cross to smash her way through several stunned Bugsters before they could recover, fluidly transitioning to an overhand Superman punch and finishing with a right-handed jumping corkscrew uppercut which blasted away all the Bugsters surrounding her.

As the bodies hit the floor and disintegrated, one Virus she'd missed charged towards her, hoping to avenge its brethren. She assumed a full crouch stance and slipped inside to throw an uppercut just before the Virus could strike her, annihilating it. Punching her boxing gloves together, she shuffled a bit before jabbing at the air. "So who am I fighting in the next round?"

Nearby, Mizuki was all over the place, possibly literally. She kept vanishing and reappearing in puffs of smoke, unleashing crowd-clearing swings of her pipe which bowled Bugsters over before disappearing, only to pop up again to hit them from another angle. _Incredible_ , she marveled as she jumped from point-to-point across the battlefield, leaving death and confusion in her wake. _I don't think I've ever been this fast, this agile. And to think that all this power is contained in a videogame very loosely inspired by the adventures of Goemon…_

A Virus, more observant than most, whirled around the moment it heard her appearing in a puff of smoke and stabbed its giant fork at where chest would've been, only to strike a log. It tilted its head in confusion before Mizuki clobbered it over the head with her pipe, knocking it out. _I also never would've imagined a pipe could be such a good weapon_ , she reflected. _And this isn't even the only thing it can do!_

Seeing a Bugster trying to run away from her, she flicked her pipe outwards, causing the end to shoot out on the end of a lengthy chain and wrap around the Virus' feet, causing it to topple over. She tugged on the pipe, causing the chain to start retracting, and she twirled around, whipping the captive Bugster around like a flail and knocking over all the surrounding enemies. When the Virus's body finally gave out from all the abuse being inflicted on itself and its brethren and it disintegrated, she flicked the pipe out again and again, the end lashing out and striking her foes repeatedly, sparks flying.

One brave Virus grabbed the end of the chain as it shot past, thinking to use her weapon against her. This turned out to be a terrible idea, because Mizuki promptly retracted the chain, pulling the terrified Bugster along with it, right into her waiting fist. She kneed it in the gut then kicked it skywards, flicking her chain in an overhand arc which sliced it in two.

"Impressive," she remarked. "But what else can I do?"

The answer came to her instinctively, the game "uploading" the knowledge into her mind. "Really? Well, all right."

She flicked her hand, and suddenly was holding a fan's spread of koban. The Bugsters stared at her in confusion as she flicked her wrist, sending the large gold coins flying towards them. The token struck them in the chest and bounced off. They stared at the coins blankly, exchanged puzzled looks…

And then the koban exploded, destroying them. "Now that's an interesting trick… Who else is there for me to test myself on?"

Suddenly, the ground started rumbling. Two vaguely serpentine heads erupted from the earth, shrieking to the heavens and writhing about as they gnashed their toothy jaws. "That'll do," Satsuki and Mizuki said at the same time.

Two questions appeared above the heads of the serpents. The one on the left asked, **When did Ira Ford take part in the California gold rush?** The one on the right said, **What was Admiral** **Chūichi Hara's nickname?** Four massive fangs appeared in the mouths of each serpent, each labeled with a letter and a possible answer.

"Mizuki, I don't suppose your wiki walks have given you the information to solve these riddles?" Satsuki asked.

"Unfortunately, no," Mizuki lamented. "Mr. Douan?"

" _Ira Ford took place in the California gold rush in 1849, while the Admiral was called "King Kong" by his friends because he was heavier and taller than most Japanese people,"_ Mondo reported. _"Be careful, though. This Bugster's got a bit of a trick to it."_

"Which is?" Satsuki asked.

Mondo chuckled. _"Well now, I can't give you the answer to EVERYTHING, now can I? Some things in life one must discover for themselves."_

Mizuki sighed. "Of course."

"No matter," Satsuki said with a shrug. "This will be far from the deadliest opponent we've ever faced. Do you see your target?"

"I do," Mizuki replied, already sighting the fang with the appropriate answer on it. "And you yours?"

Satsuki nodded. "Indeed. Let us make quick work of this fiend, so we may aid Hiiro-sama and the others."

The two heads hissed and attacked, and the Rider couple braced themselves to fight back. The left-hand made the first move, lunging at Satsuki. She shuffled to the side with the grace of a boxer, dodging the strike, then delivered a powerful right cross to its snout, causing it to flinch back, hissing furiously. It opened its mouth to roar at her and lashed out again, trying to swallow her in a single bite. Satsuki stood her ground, crouching down and delivering a rising uppercut moments before could devour her, the blow striking the lip of the serpent's lower jaw and causing it to snap back upwards, pointing straight at the sky. It flailed about for a moment, dazed, before coming crashing down to the ground inches away from Satsuki, stunned. Before it could recover, she pried open its mouth with one hand and delivered a powerful punch to the correct fang with the other. The fang shattered…

And nothing happened. Satsuki blinked in surprise. "What-"

The Bugster's eyes snapped back open, and with a snarl, it swept its head sideways, knocking her off her feet and sending her flying. The serpent reared its head back, hissing sinisterly as its fang regenerated and a new question appeared over its head: **What county is the town of Everton, Arkansas, a part of?**

"I don't… I don't understand! Why didn't that work?!" Satsuki stammered in disbelief.

" _It's a mystery. The answer is Boone, by the way,"_ Mondo offered helpfully.

At the same time, Mizuki was engaged in a deadly dance, taunting the Bugster into attacking her only to vanish in a puff of smoke and reappear somewhere else, forcing the serpent to lash out again and again in increasingly frustrated attempts to snap her up. Each time she reappeared, she hurled flaming koban at the head to draw its attention. The exploding coins were little more than an irritant to it, but it was clearly getting more and more flustered the more times it failed to strike her only to get hit instead. With a roar of pure rage, it launched itself at Mizuki with even greater ferocity than before the next time she appeared, finally managing snatch her up in its jaws…

Only to taste wood instead.

As it chewed on the substitute log in confusion, Mizuki reappeared on top of its head and struck it between the eyes with her pipe. The Bugster's entire body flinched back in surprise at this, and it started shaking itself about furiously trying to dislodge her. Mizuki fired the end of her chain at one of the Bugster's antlers, wrapping itself around the crest as an anchor, then jumped off of the monster's head. She spread her arms and legs out in mid fall, her outfit turning into a ninja gliding suit which allowed her to sail beneath the monster's head and back over it, looping her chain around it several times before she landed on the ground. She yanked on the chain, pulling it taut and snapping the beast's jaws shut as it was yanked down towards the ground.

Planting her pipe in the ground as an anchor, she rushed over to the monster, knowing it would be able to break free shortly. Producing some koban, she threw the coins at the target fang, causing it to shatter…

But the Bugster did not perish. "What? Why didn't it-"

With a ferocious snarl, the Bugster shattered its chains, lunging forward and slamming its snout into Mizuki's chest, sending her flying. It reared back its head and roared, the question **When was Lucas Simpson born?** Appearing over its head as its fang regenerated and all the labels changed.

"A new question?! But… but that makes no sense!" Mizuki protested, clutching her ribs in pain.

" _There's a simple explanation. And the answer is September 23, 1994,"_ Mondo offered helpfully.

There was a cry of pain and Satsuki crashed to the ground nearby. "Satsuki!" Mizuki cried, rushing over to her lover. "What happened?!"

"There's something wrong with this Bugster…" Satsuki grunted as Mizuki helped her up. "I keep hitting the fang with the right answer, but it just keeps getting a new question instead of dying!"

"The same thing happened to me," Mizuki confessed. "But why? What's going on? Mondo, please explain!"

" _Come on girls, use your heads. Have you ever heard of a Bugster like this before?"_

"What? Of course we haven't, this whole quiz thing is new-" a confused and upset Satsuki began, only to be interrupted by a gasp from Mizuki.

"Wait… Satsuki, he's right! Think about it. Hiiro-sama and the others have fought many Bugsters and Bugster Unions before, but there was only one that was serpentine… But it wasn't actually a snake, but an Ouroboros!" Mizuki said excitedly.

Satsuki considered this for a moment. "… Of course, I remember now! But…isn't it really more of an Amphisbaena, because it's a snake with a head at both ends?"

"Yes, but that's not important," Mizuki said dismissively. "If it's really a monster with two heads rather than two separate monsters…"

"Then what we need to do is defeat both heads simultaneously!" Satsuki concluded. "Of course! Shall we do this together, then?"

Mizuki nodded, grabbing her hand. "Always."

Together, the fighter and the ninja charged towards the Ouroboros, which had decided to give up on the pretense of being two different monsters and ripped the rest of its conjoined body out of the ground, writhing and hissing and snapping at the air. "Throw me!" Mizuki told her partner. "I'll go high and you go low!"

"All right," Satsuki said, picking up Mizuki and throwing her at the monster. Both heads lashed out at the same time, trying to snatch her up in their jaws…

And Mizuki vanished in a cloud of smoke. Unable to see through the smoke, the two heads slammed into each other and recoiled, hissing and snarling at each other in outrage. While they were distracted, Mizuki reappeared behind the frill of horns surrounding one of the snake heads, while Satsuki delivered a powerful punch to the midpoint of the conjoined body. One of the heads glanced down her in annoyance and shot down, trying to snap her up, but he dodged to the side and retaliated with a hook to the fang Mondo assured her was the right answer. The Bugster snarled and shook its head as the question hovering over it changed to **Who is Xavier Gachet?,** the fang regenerated, and the labels changed.

As the head prepared to make another attack, Mizuki had been surreptitiously wrapping the end of her chain around one of the horns of the head she was on, which was too busy watching its sibling to try to eat Satsuki in amusement to notice her. Once she was confident her chain was secure, she ran down the top of the monster's head, startling it, then jumped off, arcing through the air towards the other head. She landed on the back of its neck and jumped off the other side, swinging as she fell so that she looped back through the air towards the original head, letting her chain trail out behind her. The irritated head lunged to catch her in it her jaws, but she pulled on the chain behind her, yanking the neck of the other head she'd ensnared so that it intercepted the bite, causing the first head to sink its fangs into the neck of its sibling.

The bitten head shrieked in agony, and its startled sibling tried to pull free, but Mizuki continued her swing to loop around its neck a few times before landing on the ground. Satsuki grabbed the pipe from her and pulled as hard as she could, causing the Ouroboros to topple to the ground, resulting in the biting serpent digging its teeth even harder into its sibling's throat.

As the monster flailed and thrashed about, trying to break free of itself and only making things worse, the two Riders rushed forward, hitting a lever on their Drivers.

 **| CLICK AND LOAD!|**

 **| MYSTICAL NINJA/PUNCH OUT CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Energy charged into Satsuki's fists and Mizuki's feet. Mizuki jumped into the air and launched into a flying kick as they reached the Bugster, her heel making contact with a fang at the same instant Satsuki punched a fang in the head of the other head. Both fangs shattered, and the twin heads of the Bugster Union screamed in unison before exploding, the rest of its body following suit section by section until the midpoint finally was obliterated in a tremendous conflagration.

 **| PERFECT! |**

Mizuki landed next to Satsuki and turned to glance at her. "If it weren't for our masks, I would kiss you right now," she breathed lustily.

"Who cares about our masks?" Satsuki purred.

They proceeded to make out, despite the minor impediment of their masks. Only for a little bit, though, their master needed them and it would be very unprofessional to allow such public displays of affection to distract them from their duties for too long.

Kiriya, at that moment, was having considerably more trouble, considering that he was a motorcycle and incapable of using his full power without anyone riding on him. He whirled and bucked wildly, lashing out with his front and back tires and spurting clouds of smoke from his exhaust pipes to dissuade the Bugsters surrounding him, but the Viruses kept pressing in and prodding at him with their weapons, throwing up sparks and, even worse, scratching his paint job. And Kiriya just _knew_ that if any of them knocked him over, that would be it; he knew from experience he couldn't tip himself up in his bike form without help. (That had been one humiliating afternoon.) "Guys," he said anxiously, kicking up some dirt into a Bugster's face as it tried to pop his rear tire. "I could use a little help here!"

"Got you covered!"

Suddenly, explosions erupted in the midst of the horde, sending Bugsters flying. Even more were torn apart when something unseen plowed through their ranks, zigzagging through the mob and blasting them away like bowling pins. The Bugster that had just tried to pop Kiriya's rear tire was knocked over as a small orange ball rolled between its ankles, unfolding to reveal itself to be Nico. "Nico! You can use the Morph Ball in that form?!"

Nico laughed and fired several blasts from her arm cannon over her shoulder without even looking, obliterating several Viruses that had been trying to attack her from the rear. "I'm pretty sure I can do anything Samus can do in this form! This is a dream come true! This day just keeps getting better and better! And I think it's about to get better still, if that's okay with you…"

"Wait, do you even know how to ride a motorcycle?" Kiriya asked in concern as Nico swung herself into his seat.

"I expect so, it's been that kind of day," Nico said cheerfully. With her free hand (well, her only hand, concerning the other was a cannon) she gripped one of Kiriya's handlebars, revved his engine, and took off, plowing through the Bugsters in front of them. She laughed madly, firing her arm cannon before her repeatedly to clear a path, blasting Bugsters away until they broke free of the mob and came out into the clear.

And then she twisted Kiriya around and started going back, startling both Kiriya and the Bugsters in her way. "Wait, why are we going back that way?!" Kiriya protested.

"To get more experience points!" Nico whooped, shifting gears to top speed.

"We don't GET experience points!" Kiriya protested.

"Well that's just dumb. I'm going to see if I can't do anything about that. I practically own Genm at this point, it shouldn't be hard," Nico said with a shrug.

The Bugsters, seeing she was coming back, panicked and turned tail, trying to run away. Nico laughed maniacally, firing missiles and energy blasts after them, blowing up Virus after Virus. When they caught up with them, they drove right through their ranks, running over any Bugster unlucky enough to be in their way, while Nico stuck her arm cannon out to the side and leaned over to clothesline as many Bugsters as she could.

"Should we feel bad about this?" Kiriya grunted, another Virus crunching beneath his tires as he rode over it.

"I dunno. Why, do you?" Nico wondered as she hit a Bugster so hard its head came right off.

"I don't know, maybe a little WHOA THERE!" Kiriya cried, wrenching control back from Nico to swerve out of the way just before they could be run over by a huge silver mass that tore its way through the horde towards them, crushing and flinging away any Virus in its path.

As a startled Nico quickly hit the brakes, the mass rolled past them then did a U-turn to pass in front of them, slowing down reveal itself to be a Bugster Union resembling a massive spiked wheel with its head forming the hubcap. Hanging over its head was the question, **When was the Southhampton Old Bowling Green first used?** Energy orbs labeled **A. 1185, B. 2011, C. 1299,** and **D. 1907** were fixed to some of the wheel's spokes.

"You know, you'd think these questions would actually have some relevance to the sorts of monsters we're fighting or our current forms," a confused Kiriya said after a moment, baffled by the question.

" _Nah, too obvious. The answer is C. by the way,"_ Mondo informed them.

"Got it," Nico said, aiming her cannon at the weak spot...only for the giant wheel to suddenly lurch into motion and roll off, speeding away. "Hey! Get back here!"

"After it!" Kiriya declared, revving his motor. The duo sped off after the wheel.

The Bugster Union was very big and very fast, but Kiriya discovered, to his delight, that he was faster. In this new form, he was even faster than he usually was in his bike form. He was fairly certain they weren't even moving at his maximum speed yet. _Wonder how fast I can go… I'll have to test this out on an open road sometime,_ the Rider resolved.

They managed to catch up to the wheel, pulling alongside it…

And Nico suddenly realized a problem. "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? What's uh-oh? Just take the shot!" Kiriya urged her.

Nico shook her head uncertainly. "I can't! The thing's moving too fast, I don't know what I'm aiming at!"

Nico was correct. Due to the speed at which the wheel was rolling, it was impossible to tell one energy ball from another, all four of them blending together in a single glowing stripe. If they had been different colors, she might've been able to get a better idea of where to aim, but they all seemed to be of the same uniform hue, making it impossible to tell where one ended and another began, let alone which one was the right answer.

"Well, we have to do something!" Kiriya pointed out. He yelped as the wheel lurched towards them, and Nico quickly swerved out of the way before they could get sideswiped. "Yikes! I don't think we want to get run over by this thing!"

"Quiz-guy, got any answers?" Nico asked Mondo.

" _Yes, I know what you're supposed to do. But I don't need to tell you the answer, you already know."_

"I do?" Nico asked in confusion.

" _Sure. Right now, you have the powers of Samus Aran. What would SHE do?"_

"… Oh! I think I've got it!" Nico said excitedly. "Kiriya, we have to go faster! Get ahead of that thing!"

"Are you kidding? If we do that, we could get crushed!" Kiriya protested.

"Trust me, I know what I'm doing!" Nico claimed, gunning the motor and speeding up.

"That doesn't really reassure me!" Kiriya yelled, though privately, he admitted he enjoyed the sensation of going faster. He'd never been able to move at this speed before. It was… Exhilarating.

Bit by bit, they pulled ahead of the wheel, until they had a sizable gap of several meters between them and the Bugster. The wheel shrieked and started speeding up as well, its spikes ripping up the ground and sending rocks and bits of dirt flying as it closed in on them. "Nico, whatever you're doing, you should do it now!" Kiriya urged her.

"On it!" Nico exclaimed, releasing her grip on the handlebar and backflipping off the bike.

"NICO!" Kiriya cried in horror as she flew back towards the giant wheel.

Just before she could hit the ground and get flattened beneath the wheel, Nico turned herself into a Morph Ball. Static emerged from her body as she impacted against the rim of the wheel, using her Spider Ball power to cling to its side and quickly began rolling up the surface before she could get pulled under. She passed between two spikes, leaving a cluster of energy bombs in her wake, then jumped off the side of the wheel, uncurling in midair and landing on the ground some distance away.

The wheel kept rolling forward…

And then the bombs exploded just as the section of wheel they were on made contact with the ground, flinging the Bugster Union into the air, the oddly -shaped monster flipping end over end as it flew over the amazed Kiriya and came crashing down on its side several meters away, throwing up a massive cloud of dust. "Whoa…"

Nico raced over to him, her armored boots kicking up dust as she leapt into the air and landed on him. "Okay, let's finish it before it can get back up!" Revving his motor, she sped towards the giant wheel, which was wiggling in a frantic attempt to right itself.

"Great strategy! But how are you going to hit the right answer?" Kiriya wondered.

"Like this!" Nico pointed her arm cannon down and fired a powerful Charge Beam. The resulting explosion flung them into the air, Kiriya crying in alarm and Nico whooping at the top of her lungs. Their arc carried them right over the wheel, allowing them to stare right down into its face as they passed above it, and Nico pointed her cannon downward and fired a missile towards the orb labeled C. The missile impacted at the same time as they hit the ground on the other side, causing the great wheel to explode spectacularly behind them.

 **| PERFECT! |**

Kiriya bounced a few times, nearly throwing Nico off, then skidded to a halt, allowing them to look back at the tremendous conflagration they had caused. "That was AWESOME!" Nico cheered.

Kiriya started laughing crazily. "Yeah! That was-"

There was a monstrous roar, and something swooped down, ripping Nico off of her seat and carrying her into the air, the girl screaming in surprised fright. "Nico!" Kiriya shouted in horror.

Nico managed to quickly get herself under control, reminding herself that Samus Aran most certainly would NOT scream or flail about in a panic – – no matter WHAT Other M claimed – – and quickly took stock of her situation. She was currently at least a hundred feet off the ground, caught in the claws of a Bugster Union resembling a Dragon. "Ridley!" Nico cried. "… Well, not really, but you'll have to do as a poor man's substitute!"

The Dragon roared in her face, clearly not liking this comparison. "Oh piss off, you know it's true!" She yelled back into its face, unimpressed.

Either because it was incensed by her insult (or because it was just trying to kill her), the Dragon responded by flying towards a nearby cliff face and slamming her into it, dragging her face across its length as it went, sending bits of rock flying and cracking her visor, all sorts of warning messages flaring in her HUD. She cried out in agony and maybe just a little bit of fear. The Dragon finally pulled her away from the rock wall and roared into her face, flames building up in its throat as it prepared to blast her point-blank…

"NICO!"

A smart bomb flew into the dragon's mouth and exploded, causing the monster to shriek in agony, reeling back and dropping its captive. Nico cried out in dismay as she started to fall, only for Taiga to swoop down and catch her in his arms. "Gotcha!"

"Yikes! That was a close one!" Nico confessed, grabbing the senior Rider a bit more tightly than she might have otherwise. "What took you?"

Taiga rolled his eyes. "Right, guess I should've known better than to expect a little gratitude from you for a change."

Nico squeezed him. "Oh shut up you big goof, you know that's how I express my affections." Behind his mask, Taiga blushed.

Snarling seriously, the Bugster Union managed to recover itself and flew towards them, jaws open as it prepared to breathe fire at them…

When suddenly the revving of an engine could be heard, and Kiriya drove off the top of the cliff, howling at the top of his lungs (how did he have any of those, given he was a motorcycle?)aAs he plummeted towards the Bugster. The Dragon, Taiga, and Nico glanced up in surprise as Kiriya descended, the living motorcycle slamming into the monster's face, sparks flying as its wheels dug into the creature's visage, the monster shrieking in pain and fury as Kiriya finally gained traction and rode up the creature's face, leaving tire tracks in the monster's silver flesh as he drove down its back, spinning to strike at the dragon's wings as he went and finally launching himself off the end of its tail and into the air…

And began falling towards the ground far below. "I did not think this throoooooooooooouuuuuuuugh!" He shouted.

"I've got you!" Nico fired a crackling bolt of blue energy from her left wrist which wrapped around Kiriya's rear tire… And nearly wrenched her arm out of its socket and her body out of Taiga's grasp. "Oh Gaim I didn't think this through either you're so fucking heavy Taiga put us down NOW."

Taiga quickly obliged, lowering them towards the ground. Nico released her Grapple Beam when Kiriya was a few feet off the ground, causing the motorcycle to land on his side. "Gonna need some help here!"

"What are you, a turtle?" Nico snorted as Taiga dropped her.

"Hey, have YOU ever seen a motorcycle able to get back up on its own?" Kiriya retorted.

"All right, keep your tires on…" Nico murmured as she started towards him…

Only to yelp as the ground around them erupted in explosions, the Dragon roaring as it passed over them, flames trailing from its mouth. "Oh right, forgot that guy."

"How could you forget a Dragon that slammed you into a cliff face and nearly blasted your head off?!" An incredulous Taiga demanded.

"She's probably too distracted by your strong, warm embrace," Kiriya teased.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Taiga shouted.

"Do you WANT to lie on your side forever?" Nico threatened darkly.

"You know, it just occurred to me I could get out of this predicament myself by going down a level," Kiriya pointed out, only to cry out as the Dragon did another pass, some of its flames coming dangerously close to hitting him. "Can someone do something about that thing?!"

"We can't destroy it without answering its question," Taiga reminded them. He frowned, his sensors running over the beast as it turned to dove back towards them. "But… I don't notice a question anywhere on its body…"

"That's because there isn't any, fools!" The Riders turned to see True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal nearby, laughing maniacally. "Since my Quiz Bugsters can only be beaten by answering their questions, all I need to do to make them invincible is prevent them from asking any! Which… Is something I probably should've thought of a while ago… But now, my monster is invincible! Gyahahahaha-"

Nico latched onto Kiriya with her Grapple Beam, flipped him off the ground, and hurled him at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal with a cry of "Go, Kiriya!"

"Wait wait wait _hold on_ -" Kiriya screamed as he flew through the air, slamming into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal and knocking him to the ground.

"Gah! Get off of me, fool!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried, trying and failing to push the large motorcycle off of him. "Nngh… Why are you so _heavy_ …"

"You know, I probably should be angry about this, but I'm causing Kuroto pain, so you know what? I'm actually okay with it," Kiriya confessed.

"This accomplishes nothing other than briefly inconveniencing me!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snarled. "You still can't defeat my Bugster-"

 **| MAXIMUM CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! MAXIMUM MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! |**

"DAMMIT!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal howled as a magenta beam fired from Emu's Key Slasher, striking the Dragon and causing it to roar in pain and fury as it was engulfed in a sphere of energy reprogramming its coding.

"Okay, that should make it vulnerable! He's all yours, guys!" Emu yelled.

"And that's the last Bugster Union, so after this, we can all gang up on Kuroto!" Parad added.

"That's-"

"NOBODY CARES!" Everyone yelled at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"Taiga, let's end this together, Team Snipe style!" Nico decided.

Taiga nodded. "That works for me. Let's do this!"

 **| CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! STAR FOX/METROID CRITICAL BEAM! |**

Taiga shot into the air, blue energy charging up into his laser cannons, while Nico's arm cannon split open at the front, a tremendous ball of energy forming inside of it. When both riders had gathered energy in masses larger than their entire bodies, they fired, skewering the weakened Dragon between two beams of incredible power which split the earth and rent the clouds asunder. The poor Bugster didn't stand a chance, and was annihilated in a tremendous blast of light and fire.

 **| PERFECT! |**

"Yeah! Team Snipe for the win!" Nico whooped, fist bumping Taiga.

"Despite not being a part of Team Snipe, I take credit for this victory as well!" Kiriya declared.

"GET OFF ME!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted.

"No."

"And that's all the Bugsters taking care of!" Parad declared as everyone converged on the downed True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Assuming "God" doesn't have anything else up his sleeve…"

Emu sighed. "Why did you just say that?"

"Then it's a good thing I do!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal crowed as the remains of all the Bugsters they defeated wriggled and started to converge on his prone form. "You forget, fools, I'm the final boss… Which means it's time for my second form!"

"Oh crap! He's going to turn into Gamedeus! Someone get me off of him quick!" Kiriya cried in a panic as everyone took a step back and alarm.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, who'd been laughing maniacally as silver slime started to crawl up his limbs, coughed awkwardly. "Actually, I used the last bit of Gamedeus code I possessed on Charlie, so… This'll have to do instead."

As the silver slime engulfed him, his form started swelling upwards and outwards, forcing the others to back away even further. Kiriya was flung away, the bike screaming as he tumbled through the air before landing some distance away, on his wheels, much to his surprise. "Haha! Yes! I was totally sure I would-"

He toppled over. "DAMMIT!"

The mass of silver slime grew bigger and bigger, becoming less amorphous as its body began to solidify and finish transforming. It resembled a larger than usual golem Bugster Union with a pair of spiked wheels for shoulder pads, the bacteriophage for a tail, a giant gun for its right hand, the left arm of the sea animal Bugster Union replacing its left limb, and the heads of the Dragon and Ouroboros growing from the top of its body. The giant Bugster screamed from all the cognizant parts of its body, and the silver flesh between the golem's eyes rippled and parted as True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's head emerged. "BEHOLD! The form of your destroyer!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal proclaimed.

"… It's just a Merged Bugster Union with a few extra parts," Emu pointed out, confused.

"Yeah, Charlie's second and third forms were much more impressive," Nico agreed.

"In fact, I think most of the modified Bugsters we fought today looked more impressive than this," Hiiro commented. "Well. Except for Motors."

"I can't actually see him because I'm sort of pointed in the wrong direction, but I'm going to just assume all of you are right and his new form is underwhelming," Kiriya called from where he was lying some distance away. "Seriously though, could someone please pick me up? I'm getting a little tired of this form."

"Then just change back," Taiga suggested.

"I'm… Not sure I remember how," Kiriya admitted, embarrassed.

"Look, I never actually thought we'd get to this point, so I might've skimped a bit on my second form, okay?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal admitted. "But trust me when I say that this form is more than powerful enough to defeat you all! This body's power level rises exponentially with each Bugster fused to it, and combined with my own genius and new form's resilience, it is almost invincible!"

"Well, none of us trust you, so we're going to assume it's not going to be that big a deal," Nico quipped.

"Does THIS seem like a not a big deal?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped, raising his right arm and firing a number of massive bullets at them. Explosions erupted all over the place, sending the Riders flying.

Taiga quickly activated his jets and took off, flying around True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal and strafing him with his lasers. The monster's three heads roared and started breathing jets of fire into the air, forcing Taiga to retreat and allowing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal to start shooting him again with his giant gun, one of the bullets coming close to taking off one of his wings.

"Parad, I hope you haven't gotten sick of mushrooms yet, because I think I've got one more left for you!" Emu declared, materializing another Mushroom with eyes and a massive yellow head with red spots.

"Is that…?! Oh, YES!" Parad cried ecstatically, leaping into the air and grabbing the Mega Mushroom.

Instantly, he shot up in size, growing to become gigantic. He wasn't nearly as tall as he had been when he battled against the Futago Bugsters, but he was half again as big as the Bugster monster was. "Hey Kuroto, who's a big deal now?" He bellowed, swinging his hammer at the beast.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelped and quickly brought one of his shoulders up, the wheel on it spinning and deflecting the blow. The monster's three heads breathed fire into the giant Rider's face, causing him to gasp and stagger back, allowing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal to shoot him almost point blank in the chest with his gun. "Still me!"

"Parad, are you okay?" Emu asked in concern as his partner stumbled and nearly fell.

"Yeah, I'm fine," the giant insisted, wincing and clutching his chest. "Just stings a bit…"

"It will sting a lot more once I'm finished with you!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal crowed, raising his gun to fire again, only to scream in pain when Taiga fired a smart bomb at him from behind.

"Pretty sure that's the thing that will do more than sting," Taiga commented as he swooped by, making a U-turn for another attack run. Roaring furiously, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started shooting his gun at the airborne Rider…

And cried out in agony as a charged shot from Nico's cannon exploded in his face. "Hey guys, according to my Scan Visor, his face is his weakest point!"

"That's a lie!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped. "My mother always said my face was perfect just the way it was!… Oh wait, that's not what you meant. Fortunately, I have the perfect deterrent!"

He covered his face with his left hand, Taiga's laser shots charring it slightly but doing no real damage.

"… Really?" Parad asked in disbelief.

"How are you supposed to see us like that?" Mizuki asked.

"I can see just fine through the eyes of my other heads!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal explained, proving the veracity of this statement by continuing to fire giant bullets in Taiga's direction.

"A clever ploy… But not clever enough!" Nico declared as her arm cannon reconfigured itself and started glowing purple and her visor changed colors. "Get a taste of my Wavebuster combo!"

She fired her cannon, sending a crackling bolt of purple electricity coursing through the air, passing through the Bugster's left arm as if it wasn't even there, and striking True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's face, causing him to howl in agony as his monstrous form was wracked with high voltage. He collapsed to his knees, using his left arm and gun to steady himself as he gasped for breath, arcs of purple lightning dancing around him. "How… How did you…"

"Samus' Wave Beam can penetrate through solid objects," Nico explained, patting her smoking cannon proudly. "And is even stronger when I add missiles to the mix. Combined with my X-Ray Visor, I can see through your hand and pinpoint your weak spot for maximum damage!"

"Quickly, while he's vulnerable!" Hiiro urged, raising his sword.

"Already on it!" Parad declared, leaping into the air and landing behind True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal with an earth-shaking crash. "Hey Kuroto, ready to get the Bowser treatment?" He asked, grabbing the Bugster by its tail.

"No, wait, don't-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried out, only for his pleas of mercy to turn into wails of anguish as Parad started spinning around and around and around, twirling the screaming True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal around him until his tail was abruptly ripped off, flinging him off into the distance. His flight path was intercepted by a giant spiked ball, which exploded the instant he crashed into it, hurling him back the way he came and crashing down to the ground, smoking and scorched. "Oh come on, where did that even come from?!"

Emu raised a hand. "That was me. I thought it would be more authentic that way."

"Did you have to make it _hurt_ so much?!"

"Yes."

Parad laughed. "That was awesome! Is this how you felt when you did it to Bowser for real, Emu?"

"Pretty much," Emu confirmed.

"Still jealous of that, by the way," Nico spoke up.

"Nico, you're Samus Aran now. What more do you want?" The weary Hiiro asked her.

"I can think of a few things," Nico remarked.

"Just like I could think it would be nice if someone helped me up so I could see what's going on," Kiriya complained. "Seriously, can someone do that? Please?"

"Damn you… Damn you all!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal roared as he pulled himself up, fiercely firing his gun at them while his extra heads blasted the air with fire to keep Taiga at bay.

Everyone cried out as the ground around them exploded from the impact of the massive bullets. "I've got this!" Parad declared as he charged forwards, using his much larger body to shield his friends. "It only hurt so much before because I wasn't ready for it! I can take anything you throw at me, Kuroto!"

"Even THIS?!" The spiked wheels on the monster's shoulders started spinning and flew off, flying at Parad. Parad swung his hammer, deflecting one of the wheels and sending it flying into a cliff, but the other slammed into him, causing him to cry out in pain as the spikes dug into his chest.

"I have you!" Satsuki cried, rising into the air with 18 spiral uppercut and hitting the wheel from below, dislodging it from Parad's chest and setting it flying skywards, where it was destroyed by a smart bomb and charge shot from Taiga and Nico.

Growling and irritation, Parad extended his left hand, the remaining wheel ripping itself from the cliff face and flying back towards him…

And Mizuki, who'd been hiding within its spokes, burst out and smashed True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal in the face with her pipe, causing him to recoil in surprise. Before he could recover, she raced up the surface of the golem's body towards the three serpentine heads rising from the top. The Dragon and Ouroboros heads all exhaled fire at the same time, consuming her in flames…

Except of course it wasn't actually her, but a log, and the real Mizuki reappeared at the base of the heads, firing her chain to wrap around the furthest neck from her and then racing around the three heads in a circle, pulling the chain taut and binding them together. The three heads knocked into each other and reeled, dazed. "Hiiro-Sama, now!"

 **| CLICK AND LOAD!|**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! LEGEND OF ZELDA CRITICAL CUTTER! |**

Master Sword glowing brilliantly with power, Hiiro shot by, lashing out with his blade as he went. There was a pause, and then all three heads were severed at the necks, exploding before they could hit the ground.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked in fury. "No, no, no! It's not supposed to go like this!" Noticing Taiga coming down for another attack run, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal raised his gun…

Only for it to be yanked away as Mizuki pulled on the chain she'd wrapped around it when he wasn't looking, pulling it to the side. "What?!"

"Hiiro-Sama!" Mizuki cried again.

Shouting a kiai, Hiiro jumped off of the Bugster's shoulder, bringing his sword down in a powerful chop which severed the beast's right arm at the elbow, the gun falling to the ground and exploding.

"NO!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal didn't have long to complain about this, though, because Taiga was already firing lasers at his exposed face. He quickly raised his left arm to shield himself…

Only for Nico to fire another Wavebuster Combo, the piercing bolt striking his face and causing him to howl in agony and fling his arm to the side, allowing Taiga to fire a smart bomb at his weak spot, the explosion knocking him onto his back. The remaining spiked wheel went flying, and Parad swung his hammer, smashing into it and hurling it off into the distance, never to be seen again.

"This is the greatest thing ever!" Nico exulted enthusiastically.

"Where are you getting enough missiles to keep that going?" Emu wondered.

"Since I can do everything Samus can, that means I can regenerate my missile supply through concentration, just like she did in Other M," Nico explained. "Normally I wouldn't want to be associated with ANYTHING from that game, but it's a useful enough mechanic, so…"

Emu nodded in understanding. "As heavily flawed as that game was, there were SOME good points."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal groaned as he struggled to push himself back to his feet. "It wasn't… It wasn't supposed to be like this…"

"You always say that, and yet here we are, just like always!" Parad cried, bringing his hammer down in an overhead chop. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal quickly raised his only remaining arm and caught the hammer, grimacing and cursing as he struggled with all his might to hold the attack back, the force behind Parad's swing gradually pushing him back bit by bit.

"No… I shall not… I shall not be beaten!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal bellowed.

"Incorrect."

Hiiro shot past, sword flashing through the air and cutting off the Bugster's left arm. As the limb vaporized, Parad's hammer came crashing down, smashing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal into the ground.

"As always, there is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro boasted.

"Do you ever get tired of saying that all the time?" Taiga complained.

"Why should I? It's the truth," the surgeon said with a shrug.

"Ready to finish this, Kiriya?" Emu asked, righting the motorcycle.

"FINALLY!" Kiriya shouted in relief, only to do a double-take when he saw True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Whoa, wait, that's what he looks like now? You guys are right, that is a pretty weak final boss design."

"There was a bit more to it before we started tearing it apart," Emu informed the motorcycle.

"Not that much, though," Nico chimed in.

Emu sat astride Kiriya and revved his engine. "Everyone, on me! It's time to end this!"

He took off, racing across the ground towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, who was struggling to pull himself back up given his lack of arms. The others raced after Emu, so when True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal finally managed to get up, it was just in time to see everyone charging towards him, reaching for their Actuation Levers. His eyes widened. "Oh no."

Emu generated a ramp right in his path, riding up it and leaping off at the top, soaring towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. When he reached the arc of his jump, he back flipped off of Kiriya, giving the motorcycle a bit of a kick to propel it forward even harder, then closed and reopened the Actuation Lever, everyone else doing the same.

 **| CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| MIGHTY CREATOR VRX/SUPER MARIO BROTHERS/LEGEND OF ZELDA/METROID/STAR FOX/PUNCH-OUT/MYSTICAL NINJA CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Everyone shot forwards, their legs wreathed in game energy as they launched simultaneous Rider Kicks (except for Satsuki, who used a Rider punch instead). Kiriya impacted first, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal howling in agony as the motorcycle's front tire ground into his face, then launched sideways and out of the way just before Emu came flying in, his foot impacting with True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's face so hard that both of them were blasted clear through the Bugster and out the other side. The other six Riders all hit the remaining mass at the same time with their kicks, causing it to explode in a spectacular multicolored explosion.

 **| PERFECT! |**

Emu and True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal just kept going, the former yelling at the top of his lungs and the latter screaming as more and more game energy was pumped into his body and rapidly depleting his sizable health pool with every second. His glass helmet finally shattered at the same time as they collided with a cliff at the other side of the quarry, both of them engulfed in a tremendous explosion which caused the entire cliff face to collapse, throwing up tremendous amounts of dust and smoke and debris.

"EMU!"

Parad led the charge to check on his partner, his size reducing back to its original size as he went. Kiriya, who had been knocked out of his bike transformation by the explosion, was more than happy to join in on two legs.

By the time everyone made it to where they had last seen Emu, the cloud of debris had finally cleared, save for a few lingering fires smoldering on the ground. Emu, reverted back to his Level 2 form, was standing over True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body, the latter gasping and clutching his ribs as he was sprawled out across the ground, his helmet shattered, his visor cracked, and most of his armor badly cracked, scorched, and dented. "No… This… This isn't what… What was supposed to happen…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal wheezed. "You… You cheated…"

"You did it first," Nico pointed out. "Not that that really justifies it, I guess, but…"

"To be fair, it's his own fault for forgetting Emu still had Mighty Creator VRX," Parad pointed out.

"I… Don't think any of us remembered he had that, actually," Kiriya confessed.

"It's over, Kuroto," Emu said, sounding exhausted and just done with all this. "No more games. Where. Is. _Poppy_?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared up at Emu for a moment, then burst into laughter, which didn't last for long before he broke into a coughing and choking fit. "And why… And why should I tell you? You can't… You can't kill me, Emu Hojo. Aside from the fact that I have extra lives… Killing me would just give me the 'data of death' I need to complete my plan. I would still win."

"Oh, nobody said we had to kill you," Kiriya said a little too cheerfully. "We can always keep hurting you until you talk. We're doctors, after all. We KNOW the best places to make someone feel pain."

"I probably know even more," Mizuki offered. "Ninja."

"That won't be necessary," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said hurriedly. "I'll tell you where she is. In fact… You might even say she's closer than you think…"

"EMU!"

Emu's head shot up. "Poppy?!"

Kiriya gasped and pointed at the top of the cliff. "Up there!"

Everyone glanced upwards and saw that Poppy was standing at the top of the cliff… In the clutches of Totema-Genomes, who had the chainsaw of a Bugvisor II to her throat.

"POPPY!" Emu screamed in horror.

"Seriously?! After all the badass things you did just a little while ago, you got turned into just another damsel in distress?!" Nico yelled in exasperation. "I'm so disappointed in you right now!"

"I'm not exactly pleased by this either!" Poppy shouted, face flushing.

"Zaizen is back?!" Cried an astonished Parad.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cackled madly and staggered back to his feet. "No, this is merely Totema-Genomes as he should have been, a minion with no will of his own that won't betray me or backtalk me or make a nuisance of himself. A minion who, if I commanded it, would rip Poppy's head off without a moment's hesitation."

"No…" Emu whispered.

"You bastard!" Taiga exclaimed, furious.

"Both my parents were happily married, thank you very much!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped. "Though what my mother saw in my father, I have no idea… But that's beside the point. Here's how this is going to go. You're going to let me walk out of here unscathed. You won't follow me, you won't come looking for me, you let me go on my merry way." He leered at them. "In exchange, I won't order Poppy's death. I think that's fair, don't you?"

Parad trembled with rage and started forwards. "You-"

"Not so fast!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried as Totema-Genomes pressed one of the chainsaw's teeth into Poppy's throat, drawing blood and causing her to whimper. "One more step, and I don't think you'll like what happens to your fellow Bugster!"

"Don't listen to him!" Poppy shouted, thrashing against the immutable grasp of her captor. "I backed up my data, remember? It doesn't matter if I die, I'll come back! Don't let him get away!"

Everyone relaxed a fraction. "Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot she backed herself up," Nico recalled.

"I do not wish to see her die, but if we know that it is not permanent, there is no need for us to hold back," Hiiro agreed.

"On the contrary!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal interjected. "While all of you were engrossed in my game, I sent one of my minions to CR and had them infect Poppy's cabinet with a virus that destroyed her backup! Oh, and I also wiped all of your high scores."

Emu, Parad, Kiriya and Nico cried out in horror. "You MONSTER! Do you have any idea how many hours I spent working my way up to the top of the leaderboard?!" Parad shouted, livid.

"That's going too far!" Nico agreed fiercely. "Oh, and erasing her backup data was a scummy thing to do, too. You don't delete other people's save files! Don't you have ANY integrity whatsoever as a gamer?!"

"I think by now it should be obvious that he does not," Satsuki said angrily.

"It doesn't matter what names you call me, it doesn't change the fact that if you don't let me go now, I WILL have Poppy killed… For good," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal threatened. "And this time, I'm not bringing her back!"

Everyone hesitated, uncertain. "… Emu… What… What should we do?" Parad asked his partner finally.

Emu said nothing, lost in thought.

"Emu…" Poppy said through gritted teeth. "It doesn't matter what happens to me. I've died before, not knowing there was a way to bring me back. I can do it again. You CAN'T let Kuroto go. You have to stop him now. I know… I know that you always say you have to save the patient that's right in front of you, but… But if you let him get away, this will all start over again. More Bugster epidemics. More games that only cause suffering and only make him smile. You CAN'T let him do that. Not again…"

"Oh, I have no intention of letting him do that," Emu spoke up, starting everyone.

"Wait, what?" Asked the baffled Kiriya.

"Dude, are you seriously going to let him kill her?!" Nico cried, aghast.

Poppy blinked. "I… Okay, gotta admit, I wasn't expecting you to agree so suddenly…"

Emu chuckled and shook his head. "Guys, relax. We've got nothing to worry about. He's bluffing, just like before."

"Bluffing?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried, indignant. "I'm disappointed that after all this time, you still underestimate me, Emu! This is no bluff!"

Emu snorted. "Oh, come off it, Kuroto. We both know that you would never hurt Poppy."

"And what exactly are you basing this erroneous supposition on?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal demanded.

"Well, let's see. Maybe there is the fact that despite all of your attempts to try and kill us for years, you've never once tried to harm Poppy?" Emu started.

"I abducted her and allowed Yaotome to use her to try and revive my parents so she could bring back her father," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal pointed out.

"Which you were never really going to allow to happen in the first place, since your real plan was to get the data you needed to create God Maximum Mighty X, and you were just lying to Saiko to get her to do your dirty work," Emu retorted. "And then there's the fact that despite the fact she's been humiliating you for ages by trapping you inside a Bugvisor whenever you got out of line, you never once tried to get any payback on her despite you doing far worse to us for much pettier slights. You know, like the time you had me infected with the Bugster virus just because I came up with a good game design?"

"It wasn't that good!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped. "And I was merely biding my time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to get my revenge on her!"

"Then why did you bother bringing her back from the dead at all?" Emu countered. "There was absolutely no reason for you to do that. It didn't benefit you in any way to resurrect her. It wouldn't change your sentence or the terms of your imprisonment. If you wanted revenge that bad, why not just let her stay dead?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal hesitated. "I… I did it to prove that I could!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal insisted. "That my godly talents are beyond your feeble comprehension! And besides, I can't get my revenge on someone who is already dead!"

Emu shook his head. "No. That's not why you did it, Kuroto, and we both know it."

"You're wrong!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal insisted.

"I'm not," Emu replied calmly.

"Emu… What are you aiming at?" Asked a puzzled Hiiro.

Mizuki gasped, getting a flash of insight. "Oh! Of course! Isn't it obvious, Hiiro-Sama?"

"Oh… Oh yeah, I think I see where you're getting at," Kiriya said slowly, starting to put things together.

"What? What is it?" Taiga insisted.

"Guys, who was Poppy's original host?" Emu asked.

Nico gasped. "Wait… You mean…"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stiffened. "No! NO! DON'T YOU DARE-"

"Kuroto isn't going to hurt Poppy… Because she is all he has left of his mother, the only person other than himself he's ever loved," Emu said constantly.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal howled in anguish, seeming to confirm his point.

Satsuki gasped. "Of course!"

"Oh, Kuroto…" Poppy whispered, looking at the madman in sympathy.

"Wait… No, that doesn't make sense," Taiga protested. "His mother isn't dead. She's in a proto-Gashat, like everyone else that got killed by the disease. Why has he never made any attempt to bring her back? I mean, I know that he infected her in the first place to "save" her because she was dying of an incurable illness, but if he brought her back as a Bugster that wouldn't be a problem. Plus, modern medicine has reached the point where we could probably cure her if she came back fully human. If he really loved her so much, why has he just left her there?"

"Yes," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said quickly, latching onto Taiga's logic. "Why HAVE I left her there, if I really love her so much, Emu? Care to explain that? HMM?"

Emu hesitated. "Well…"

Nico snorted. "Oh please, it's so obvious! It's the same reason I lied to my mother for years about being a world-class videogame champion instead of going to all those lame "feminine" training courses she was always insisting I go to! It's because deep down he knows that if he ever brought her back, and she saw the things he's done, the monster he's become, she would be horrified! Even a sociopath like him couldn't possibly bear that, from the only person he's ever cared about!"

"Wait, you lied to your mom for years?" Asked a surprised Parad.

"Not important," Nico said, waving him off. "And we cleared things up eventually, anyway."

"Don't you… Don't you dare try to psychoanalyze me!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snarled. "You know nothing! NOTHING! You imbeciles can't possibly comprehend-"

"Kuroto, that's enough."

"NOT NOW, MOM!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal bellowed at Poppy. He froze, realizing what he just said. "I mean Poppy! POPPY!"

Mizuki cringed. "Okay, this is starting to get a little painful."

"Even I'm having trouble finding amusement in this," Kiriya confessed.

"Kuroto, please," Poppy pleaded with the madman. "You don't need to do this anymore."

"What? Of course I do!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested.

"Why?"

"Eh?"

"WHY do you need to do this?" Poppy pressed. "To prove that you're the smartest? Everyone knows you're a genius, Kuroto. That was never in doubt."

"Well-" Kiriya began, only to be silenced by a punch from Satsuki.

"I-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started.

"To show your talents? But everyone knows you're insanely talented. Even BEFORE you became evil, the majority of your games were beloved by the masses and critics alike," Poppy pointed out.

"Well, except for the Futago brothers," Parad spoke up. "And Mighty '06. And-"

Emu elbowed him. "Shush, I want to see where she's going with this."

"That's-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stammered.

"Is it for respect?" Poppy continued. "You had that as well. And then you threw it all away by using your skills for evil."

"If I hadn't used my skills for evil, you would never exist!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped.

"And I'm grateful for that. Really I am," Poppy said honestly. "But what was the point in going to the length you have? Who are you trying to prove yourself to? Your father? You know he never cared, and besides, he's dead now, so there's no point. Your enemies? Why do you care about their opinions so much? You've already alienated them so much that they'll never like you no matter what you do. The same with the world. You were once a respected and admired person, Kuroto. And you've thrown it all away, and everything you've done has only furthered everyone's hatred of you. What's the point of still doing all this? The only person I could possibly think of whom you think needs to respect you… Is yourself. Are you truly so desperate and full of self-loathing that you think taking over the world is the only way to get some measure of self-worth?"

"Poppy, I… I don't… I don't hate myself…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stammered, sounding very weak and very confused.

"Then why do you keep tacking more and more titles onto your name to inflate your own self-importance? The only one who cares about that is you," Poppy pointed out.

"…"True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal did not respond.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Poppy said gently. "You were… If not a good man once, at least you weren't an evil one. You were a man who made games that filled people with joy and excitement. You can still be that person again. Lots of people who've done horrible things have managed to pull themselves back from the brink and become cherished and respected by society. Just look at Parad, or Taiga!"

"Yeah!" Parad enthused in agreement.

"Wait, what about me?" Taiga asked in confusion.

"You worked with us before to stop evil," Poppy continued. "Can you really tell me that no part of you enjoyed being on a team? Being someone others went to for help?"

"I… I was just using all of you… To get rid of my enemies, so that the path would be clear for my own conquest…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stammered, his voice wavering.

"I don't believe that, and I'm not sure you do either," Poppy said seriously. "Please, Kuroto. It's not too late to change. Ask yourself… Is this _really_ what your mother would want?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal was silent for a very, very long time. Everyone else was speechless as well, waiting to see how he would respond.

And then, he asked, **"Poppy, are you my mother?**

 **A. Yes**

 **B. No"**

"I'm sorry?" Poppy asked, startled.

"It's a simple question. Are you my mother?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal asked, softer and gentler than any of them had ever heard him before. "Just a minute ago, the way you spoke to me… That tone of voice… It's not the first time I've almost mistaken you for her. Everything about you… Your appearance, your grace, your smile, your _voice_ , your love of life and boundless faith in others… When I catch you moving out of the corner of my eye, every so often, I forget that my mother is gone and that you… That you aren't her…"

He shook his head, trembling. "I know your a Bugster made from her, but… Saiko told me you had so many of her memories, and you are one of the first of your kind I created, so I… I need to know… How much of you is her, and how much of you is something else? Please. Please tell me. Poppy, are you my mother?"

The air became so thick with tension nobody even dared to breathe. Even a heartbeat sounded too loud. A pin dropping would have sounded like the deathknell of the world. Every fiber of their bodies was focused on Poppy, desperate to know how she might respond, and how, in turn, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal would deal with the answer.

And finally, Poppy took a deep breath and said, "Kuroto, I… I look like your mother. I have some of her memories and her personality. But… I'm sorry, but I'm not her. I'm not Sakurako Dan. I'm not your mother."

The B orb lit up and flew into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's chest with a sizable impact. You needn't seem to notice. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared at Poppy for a long, long time. And then, slowly, he nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I suppose, deep down, I've always known. I just didn't want to admit it." He started trembling, a tear leaking from one of his cracked eyepieces. "I'm sorry, Poppy. Really, I am.

"But that's just not good enough. Totema-Genomes, kill her."

…

Meanwhile, in the year 2068…

In the wasteland, there was a colossal statue of a young man posed in front of a clock, 19 Kamen Riders arrayed around him. A plaque at the base of the statue declared that it was commemorating the first transformation of Sougo Tokiwa, Kamen Rider Zi-O. Beneath the plaque, a man in black and gold armor sat in a chrysanthemum throne, patiently waiting for something.

The man glanced up when he heard the sound of a train, seeing a portal open in the sky and the DenLiner come through. "At last. The time has come."

He rose to his feet as the time train swooped down and passed along the ground before him before rising back up into the sky and vanishing, leaving behind Sougo, Geiz, Tsukuyomi, Woz, Tsukasa, Daiki, Natsumi, Reiji, Ryotaro, Yuto, Kotaro, all of the friendly Imagin, Shin, all of the other previous main Heisei Riders, the entire Gaimist Pantheon, Aqua, Dark Drive, Shinobi, Hattari, the other ninja Riders, Quiz, Kikai, Ginga, the TimeRangers, the GoRiders, the Shinkengers, the Go-Busters, both sets of Kyoryugers, the ToQgers, the Ninningers, the Zyuohgers, the Kyurangers, G, an A. R. Kuuga (not to be confused with Yusuke Onodera, who'd misplaced his belt years ago and couldn't remember where he left it), Brain, Norider, and a very confused and out of his depth Zero-One. Everyone who could transform was transformed and in their strongest forms, clearly ready for a fight.

Oma Zi-O spread his arms, jovially welcoming them. "My younger self, and his allies! At last, you have arrived! Now the final battle may begin, and the future shall be decided!"

"That's right, it will be!" Sougo, resplendent in his regal Oma form, declared. "Today we're going to defeat you, undo this future you've created, and create a new future for everyone!"

Oma Zi-O tilted his head. "Are you now? Show me, then, that you have the strength to back up your resolve!"

He gestured, and… _Something_ happened, and…

Everyone suddenly felt rather disoriented. Sougo and his future self were standing in place, but seemed oddly blurry, the space between them warping and distorting, clashes of energy sparking to life only to be snuffed out just as quickly. "What… What's happening?" Shin slurred, feeling unwell.

"Both of my overlords are using their power over time against each other," Woz explained, sounding woozy. "They are creating, destroying, rewinding, altering, and undoing timelines faster than any of us can comprehend. Any attempt Oma Zi-O makes to annihilate us, Sougo counters, and vice versa. Truly, this is a battle unlike any of the world has ever seen before!"

"Yeah, especially since none of us can actually see it!" Momotaros complained.

"Do you think maybe they could slow down? I'm getting a headache," Ryutaros whined. "And a stomach ache. And I think I might have been erased from existence and brought back to life like maybe a dozen times."

Suddenly, Sougo staggered backwards, panting for breath. Oma Zi-O took a step back, but otherwise seemed fine. "That… That was intense," he gasped. "I could… I could barely keep up with him…"

"But the fact that you've lasted for so long one on one against me speaks well to your skill and training," Oma Zi-O complimented his younger self. "Well done, younger me."

"I don't understand," said the confused Geiz. "Sougo trained for 50 years to be on the same level as his future self. Shouldn't they be equal in strength?"

Oma Zi-O laughed. "Oh, my old friend… You forget. Sougo IS me. Which means that if he trained for 50 years to increase his strength…"

"Then that means you did as well, meaning you're stronger than ever!" Tsukuyomi gasped in horror.

"What!? Why didn't anyone bring this up before now?!" An alarmed Sougo protested.

"I knew there was a strong possibility this would happen, but I figured it would be worth it if Sougo could mature his powers," Yuri explained. "Otherwise, he wouldn't have been able to reach his full potential in time for us to fight his future self, and we would have a far less chance of victory than we would have otherwise."

"She's right," Sougo admitted, catching his breath. "I wouldn't have been able to last a second against that temporal assault if it weren't for my training."

"In any event, we've done our best to stack the deck in our favor to compensate for the difference in strength," Sion explained. "Which is why we've recruited so many other heroes to help us, including a few outside the core Heisei set, and also used technology from our era to try and sever the mental link between the two Sougos so that his future self wouldn't remember any plans we made so he wouldn't remember how things went from the first time he went through all this and be able to counter them."

"It didn't work, incidentally, but points for trying," Oma Zi-O said encouragingly. "I also applaud you on bringing such a wide and arrayed group of heroes to fight me. After all, I only have power over Heisei Riders, so I might actually have to exert a little more effort dealing with anyone else."

"I'm honestly not sure why I'm here," confessed a very bewildered Zero-One. "I have no idea who any of these people are and I kind of feel out of my depth."

"Join the club," Norider grunted. "I'm just supposed to be a joke character!"

"However, your presence is unnecessary. My younger self is the only one who truly stands a chance of fighting me," Oma Zi-O continued. "All the rest of you will only get in the way. So, to keep you all from being a distraction, allow me to introduce a few friends of my own." He waved a hand.

The ground started rumbling, and suddenly hundreds of Kasshin, dozens of Time Mazines, and five colossal Dai Mazines erupted from the earth, the giant robots responsible for devastating the planet roaring as they spread their arms to the heavens.

Zero-One swallowed. "Oh crap."

"So you have an army of mooks and a few giant robots," Momotaros snorted. "Big deal. Nothing we haven't dealt with before, even without backup!"

"Oh, but you won't be dealing with just them!" Oma Zi-O continued, gesturing. 19 time portals opened up, and all of the previous Heisei Riders, all in their most powerful forms, appeared.

Their counterparts on the other side started. "Wait, what?! What am I doing there?" Asked the confused Fourze. "I'm right here! Are they evil clones or something?"

"Not quite," Build reasoned, immediately understanding. "He must have summoned us from different points in our personal timelines, and put us under mind control so we would have to do his bidding." Fourze stared at him blankly. Build sighed. "Yes, Gentaro, they're evil clones."

"I thought so!" Fourze said proudly.

"Wait, wouldn't we have remembered this?" Asked the confused Ghost. "Or… Are they from our future instead of our past?"

"You usually don't remember when I summon you for fights, so your memories probably get erased or something when you get sent back," Sougo suggested.

"Wait, you summon us for fights?" Ex-Aid asked in surprise.

"It's one of my powers that I've recently developed," Sougo explained. "I can do it just like he can."

"My over… Sougo IS the master of time, after all," Woz bragged.

"Not sure how I feel about that…" Blade murmured.

"Well, so long as he only uses us in case of emergencies, I suppose there's nothing wrong with it," Wizard said optimistically.

…

Sougo grunted as he tried and failed to open the pickle jar. "Dammit… I can't do this by myself…"

He gestured, and a time portal appeared, Kamen Rider Kuuga appearing from it. "Hey, can you open this?"

The first Heisei Rider easily unscrewed the jar lid and handed it back to Sougo. "Thanks," Sougo said, sending Kuuga back to where he had come from.

…

"Right… Emergencies…" Sougo said uneasily.

"Okay, so you're going to make us fight ourselves. That's a bit trickier, but still nothing-" Momotaros began.

"I'm not finished," Oma Zi-O interrupted. "Susan, why don't you show them what we've come up with?"

Much to the surprise of Sougo and his friends, a familiar purple-clad man walked out from behind the statue, a sinister grin on his face. "I'd be happy to."

"YOU?!" Sougo cried in fury and disbelief.

"Impossible! I put you in time jail myself!" An incredulous Reiji protested.

Susan laughed malevolently. "Please, I'm from the 30th century! Your time prison might as well have been a cardboard box! All I had to do was carve the time soap into a time key to open the time lock to my time cell, kill the time guards using a time shiv I carved from the rest of my time soap, trigger a mass time prison break to cover my time tracks and escape in a time shuttle-"

"All right, we get it! Enough with the time stuff!" Momotaros yelled in exasperation.

"Did you really need to add 'time' to everything?" Tsukuyomi asked.

Susan nodded. "I do, it's time law. I mean, I suppose I could stop doing it since I'm a time criminal and thus shouldn't care about time law but I've gotten used to saying it." Everyone groaned.

"And what exactly do you think you're going to do? We deactivated your nanomachines!" Sion pointed out.

"And I reactivated them. And aside from that…" With a sinister grin, Susan lifted an equally sinister-looking watch. "When you were collecting my Ridewatches, you missed one."

 **DECADE!**

He pressed the watch into his chest. Waves of purple energy rippled out, and then bands of darkness wrapped around him, electricity crackling before the darkness split to the side in after images, revealing that Susan now looked like a monstrous version of Tsukasa's base form, with the words "Decade" and "2019" written above his right breast, fangs decorating his belt, and numerous magenta and green horns jutting from the side of his head decorated in barcode lines, his face a grotesque and twisted caricature of his own rather than the mask of Decade.

Daiki gasped. "Tsukasa! He looks just like you! However will we be able to tell the two of you apart now?!"

"SHUT IT, DAIKI!"

Tsukuyomi gasped. "Another Rider?!"

Susan laughed. "Indeed! I am now Another Decade, the strongest Another Rider ever!"

"Wait, wouldn't it make more sense for Another Zi-O to be stronger-" Sougo started.

"And among other things, I can do this!" Susan gestured, and a Dimensional Wall appeared behind him. The silvery surface rippled, and Kamen Riders G4, Ryuga, Orga, Glaive, Kabuki, Caucasus, Gaoh, Arc, Eternal, Core, Poseidon, Sorcerer, Mars, Dark Drive (the Roidmude version, not the one on the heroes side, who is the son of the current Drive), Extremer, Fuuma, Blood, and Barlckxs (does anyone know how to pronounce that name? Anyone?).

While some of the heroes were startled by this, the others were decidedly unimpressed. "Oh no. He's brought back evil Riders we've defeated before," W deadpanned. "Surely this has never happened before ever. Oh, WAIT…"

"Ah, but these are evil Riders from alternate worlds where they won and you didn't!" Susan proclaimed.

"Meh," Drive said dismissively.

"Eh?!" Susan bellowed.

"Meh," Dark Drive (the good one) echoed, fist-bumping his father.

"I SHALL DESTROY ALL THAT STAND AGAINST ME," Ginga bellowed.

"Why did we bring him again?" Geiz grumbled.

"To be fair, he is very powerful," Woz pointed out. "If a bit unstable."

"He kind of showed up out of the blue. What did he have to do with Kiva, anyway?" Tsukuyomi wondered.

"I've never seen him before," Kiva spoke up.

"I see that I shall have to try harder to impress you, then," Oma Zi-oh said in amusement. "Perhaps the revelation of the traitor in your midst, then?"

Everyone started at this. "Traitor?! What traitor?!" Ryotaro asked in alarm.

"Wait a second… Daiki?!" Tsukasa cried, immediately whirling on the thief.

Daiki made a faux gasp. "Tsukasa! Just because I've betrayed you countless times in the past, you automatically assume I'm the traitor this time?" He paused, then burst into laughter. "Yeah, I couldn't say that with a straight face. You're right, I'm totally the traitor."

"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" Tsukasa snarled as the thief started walking across the wastes towards Oma Zi-O.

"But Daiki, why?" Natsumi pleaded.

"Oma Zi-O offered me the power to control time if I spied on you guys and told him your plans. Now there's nothing in the multiverse I won't be able to steal!" Daiki bragged. "Oh, and Natsumi? You know how Tsukasa has been telling you for years that he LET you beat him, but you didn't believe him? Yeah, he was actually telling the truth. I stole your memories of that battle to make you think that you won fair and square just to screw with him."

Natsumi gasped. "What?!"

"I _knew_ it!" Tsukasa cried.

"Yep. Your entire reputation as a badass warrior queen, savior of worlds, and role model to female Riders everywhere is built on a complete and utter lie," Daiki said cheerfully. "How's that make you feel?"

"I… I don't…" Natsumi stammered.

"Natsumi, you can have an existential crisis later about how I was right and you were wrong all along and then realize that even if you did make your claim to fame due to me letting you win, you still did save the multiverse and have gone on to do so dozens of other times since with your own power and ARE a true hero later," Tsukasa told her, her hand on her shoulder. "Right now we need to focus on what's important. Namely, punching that lying, backstabbing thief in the face."

"An understandable sentiment," Oma Zi-O said with an amiable nod. "Except Daiki isn't the traitor I was referring to."

"He's not?" Tsukasa asked in surprise.

"I'm not?" Daiki asked in surprise.

"No. Your treacherous nature is well known, Kaito," Oma Zi-O told the thief. "I knew that there was no way they would let you learn anything important, because they would suspect there was a strong chance you'd make sure I found out about it."

"He's right, we did," Yuri agreed.

"Wait, you mean you suspected I would betray you all along, just because I've done so dozens of times in the past?" Daiki asked, livid. "I can't believe this! I've never been so insulted! Why, I feel like I should steal one of those giant robots and use it to kill everyone out of spite!"

"Maybe later," Oma Zi-O told him gently.

"Wait, but if Daiki isn't the traitor you were talking about, then who is?" Tsukuyomi asked in bewilderment.

"The answer to that is quite simple, my granddaughter," Oma Zi-O told her. "You need only look in the mirror… Alpina."

Tsukuyomi stiffened, her eyes flashing. "Tsukuyomi?!" Geiz cried in alarm as she slowly started walking across the expanse towards the demon king. "What are you doing?!"

Woz gasped in alarm. "No… Of course! How did I not see it sooner?!"

"See what sooner?" Sougo asked in concern.

"My over…Sougo, when we found out Tsukuyomi was your future granddaughter, none of us ever thought to ask… WHY was she found with amnesia, and joined the rebellion?" Woz pressed.

Sougo paused. "That's… That's a good question. Why was she?"

"Because that's how I wanted to be found," Tsukuyomi said coldly, an uncharacteristic look of haughty condescension and malice on her face as she stood beside her grandfather. "Because I _volunteered_ to have my memory erased and joined the rebellion… All to prepare for this moment."

"Tsukuyomi?!" Geiz stammered.

Tsukuyomi sneered at him. "Do not call me by that false name, peasant! I am none other than Princess Alpina, heir to the legacy of all Heisei Riders, future queen of time and chosen successor to the throne of the demon king! You should bow your head, lest I order it removed at once for your insolence!"

"Now, Alpina," Oma Z-O chided. "I've told you before, there is no need for you to be so cruel to our subjects. Such behavior is unbecoming of a benevolent overlord. Hasn't your time among them allowed you to sympathize more with their plight?"

Tsukuyomi, or rather, Alpina, grimaced. "If anything, it has only made me despise them more. Although… I suppose I must admit, the experience wasn't all bad…"

"I don't… Understand. What's going on?" Sougo demanded, upset.

Woz sighed. "I'm afraid, my over… Sougo, that the Tsukuyomi we knew and loved never existed. She was nothing more than a falsehood crafted to deceive us and win our trust."

"Demon King! Explain! NOW!" Geiz bellowed.

Alpina's eyes flashed. "Don't you DARE speak to my grandfather in that tone of voice, you pathetic-"

Oma Zi-O raised a hand. "It's all right, my dear. If anyone has earned the right to talk to me like that, it's my dear friend, Geiz."

"We are NOT friends!" Geiz snarled.

"That hurts me, Geiz. Really, it does," Oma Zi-O said in disappointment. "However, I believe you will change your tune soon enough… Anyway, my granddaughter. When I was just a young man, a beautiful girl from the future named Tsukuyomi came to me, telling me it was my destiny to become the overlord would rule the world. Soon afterwards, an angry young man named Geiz also appeared from the future to try and kill me. However, Tsukuyomi was able to change his mind, and over time we all became friends, and along with my future servant the prophet Woz, had many adventures, fought many battles, and, ultimately, I fulfilled my destiny and conquered the world, though sadly not everyone was happy about it.

"When my granddaughter was born many years later, I immediately recognized her as the younger self of my good friend Tsukuyomi. As she grew up, I told her stories of my past and how I rose to take the throne, and of the important role she would play in my ascension. When she became old enough, she volunteered to have her memories erased and inserted into the rebellion, with subliminal programming that would allow her to subtly manipulate events that would eventually lead to her traveling back in time, befriending my past self, and slowly guiding him down the path to becoming me." He spread his hands. "And now that you have reached your full potential, and come to face me, the time for falsehoods has ended, Alpina can shed her false persona of Tsukuyomi, and return once more to my side."

Alpina hugged her grandfather. "I missed you so much, grandfather. Looking back, it feels terrible, thinking that I wrongfully hated you for so long! As if I could ever despise you, the greatest man I ever knew!"

"No…" Geiz whispered, trembling. "Then… Then everything… All the memories we shared together in the rebellion… It was all a lie?!"

"Pretty much," Susan sneered. "The girl you fell in love with was never real, kid. How's it feel knowing that my little sister manipulated you all just as much as I did?"

"Wait, little sister?" Woz asked in surprise.

Susan nodded. "Remember when I told you we were cut from the same cloth, and I later said I was just bullshitting? As it turns out, I was more right than I thought. I'm actually Alpina's big brother. When I was much younger, Oma Zi-O erased my memories and sent me to live in the 30th century so that I would become well-versed in the technology of that era and be able to bring it back to the 21st century to set events in motion that would allow my grandfather to take the throne. I was pretty shocked when I found out, but in retrospect, it explains an awful lot of things about my childhood…"

"Are you kidding me?!" Reiji yelled in disbelief.

"That… Is an alarming amount of forethought," said a startled Yuri.

"Just how far does this time loop extend?" Wondered an astounded Tsukasa.

"Oma Zi-O!" Sougo said angrily. "I have only one question for you!… Who is the grandmother?"

"WHAT?!" Everyone yelled, staring at him in disbelief.

"The sailor girl," Oma Zi-O informed him.

"Yes!" Sougo cried in ecstasy. Everyone else facefaulted.

"Are you serious?!" Geiz shouted, shaking him in outrage. "We just find out that Tsukuyomi was a spy the whole time and Susan was actually even more connected to everything than we thought, and THAT'S all you're thinking about?!"

"I thought it was a legitimate question to ask!" Sougo argued.

Oma Zi-O laughed. "It's just as amusing watching it from this angle as I had hoped it would be… And now that my grandchildren are once more by my side, it is time at last to bring back the last few members of my family, complete my inner circle, and bring this time loop to its culmination."

"Your family? What are you talking about?" Tsukasa asked sharply.

"Don't tell me you've got more grandchildren we don't know about!" Geiz complained.

"I kind of hope I do, I've always wanted a big family," Sougo said wistfully.

Tsukasa groaned. "Please don't tell me Daiki's your nephew or something!"

Daiki snorted. "Don't be absurd!" He paused, then glanced at Oma Zi-O. "Am I-"

"No."

Daiki's shoulders sagged. "Oh. Okay."

"My younger self! Ever since this ordeal started and you began down the path to kinghood, you have learned the value of teamwork, camaraderie, friendship, and family, have you not?" Oma Zi-O addressed Sougo.

"Well, yeah," Sougo replied. "There's no way I would've gotten this far without my friends."

Oma Zi-O nodded. "Precisely! So… What makes you think I ever _forgot_ that?"

He snapped his fingers. A pair of time portals opened, and from them emerged…

Sougo gasped. "What?!"

"No… No, that's not possible!" Geiz protested, horrified.

"It… Cannot be…" Woz murmured, aghast.

The two Riders that had emerged from the portals were very clearly Geiz and Woz. Their armor was different, but there was no mistaking them. Geiz's armor looked like a merger of both of his Revive forms, the chest armor of his Fury form and the wings of his Typhoon form, wielding a Zikan Jaclaw in its saw mode in his right hand and another in claw form in his left. In addition, his armor was black and bronze, with a bandolier covered in Ridewatches going across his chest, and his hourglasses were purple. The other Woz looked to be in his Ginga Finaly form, only the coloration was black and silver, also with a bandolier covered in Ridewatches across his chest, and the word "Beyond" spelled out on his visor in katakana beneath an eerily glowing purple warm. He was wielding a double-headed Zikan Despear with a spearhead for one end and a scythe on the other.

"Rejoice!" The other Woz cried dramatically. "After lengthy absence, the most loyal retainers of the King of time have finally returned to serve their master in his greatest battle, as foretold in this book!" He proclaimed, brandishing a tome that looked like a mix between White Woz's diary and Black Woz's Oma Advent Calendar. "And our names… are Geiz Immortal and Woz Beyond!"

Alpina squealed in delight and hugged the other Woz, and then Geiz. "Woz! Geiz! I missed you so much!"

"Do not worry, my beloved," the other Geiz intoned, kissing her, much to the consternation of the original Geiz. "I've missed you greatly, all these years. Now, at last, we are together again, and I shall never leave your side again."

"What… what the… What the _fuck_?!" Geiz shrieked.

"What is even going on here anymore," Momotaros groaned.

"Yuck, they kissed!" Ryutaros complained.

Kintaros snorted, having fallen asleep a while ago.

"It's quite simple, really," Oma Zi-oh explained, looking amused. "Geiz, Woz, did you never think about what happened to your future selves after I transformed into Oma Z-O?"

"I… Had not thought of that, actually," Woz murmured, staring at his other self as beside him, Geiz continued making strangled noise of disbelief while watching his other self make out with Alpina. "But I believe I'm beginning to understand."

"Understand what?" Sougo demanded. "What… What are they? Alternate versions of you two, like White Woz?"

"I don't think it's going to be anything as easy as that, kid," Tsukasa grunted.

"Allow me to explain!" The other Woz proclaimed. "After we defeat all of you here today, my Overlord shall reactivate his younger self's nanomachines and transform him into Oma Zi-O. Susan shall also administer nanomachines to the younger versions of Geiz and myself, allowing us to achieve our current states and see the world from our Overlord's perspective. Together, we three shall travel back to the year 2019, conquer the world, and set in motion the chain of events that will lead to the formation of the Time Jackers and provide the younger versions of Geiz and my Overlady with the means by which they can travel back to the year 2018, meet my overlord's younger self, and set him on the path to become the king of all of time and space, eventually leading him right back to this moment, where it shall all begin again. It is a glorious time loop, spanning the centuries, with no beginning and no end! The rise of my Overlord is not merely fated, but an immutable law of physics!"

"No… No, that's not possible!" Sougo cried in horror.

"That is exactly what I said when I was your age, standing across the field of battle from my future self," Oma Z-O recalled, shaking his head in pity. "I was so naïve back then. I still thought I could change the future. But all of this has already happened, is happening, will happen, and always shall, my younger self. And even if you should somehow manage to defeat me… It will change nothing, because you STILL will have to become me to maintain the loop, or else time itself shall collapse from nearly a thousand years' worth of paradoxes."

"Why else do you think I was sent so far into the future to be fostered?" Susan sneered. "The resulting time crash will be so big, I doubt even the time police's paradox inhibitors and temporal anchors will be able to withstand it."

"Please tell him he's wrong," Reiji anxiously asked the TimeRangers.

"… Let me get back to you on that," Sion said uncomfortably, not reassuring him, or anyone else, in the slightest.

"Oh, before I forget… My Overlady, I believe this belongs to you," Woz Beyond said, offering a Ziku-Driver and Ridewatch to Alpina on a pillow.

The princess's eyes lit up, and she broke away from Geiz Immortal to snatch up the two devices. "FINALLY! You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this!"

She buckled on the belt and activated the watch.

 **| ZIKU-DRIVER ! TSUKUYOMI! |**

"Henshin!"

She inserted the watch in her belt and spun it, causing a large clock resembling a waning moon to appear before her as gold bands wrapped around her body.

 **| RIDER TIME! KAMEN RI~DER~ TSUKU~YOMI! TSU-KU-YO-MI! |**

Alpina was now clad in a black and gold suit under a white and black armor chest piece, a white cape and battle skirt with gold trim, a watchband running down her chest, and a helmet with a visor shaped like a waning moon with a pair of clock hands affixed in the open space and the word "Rider" inscribed on it in katakana.

"She's a Rider now, too?! What else did you never tell me?!" Geiz cried.

"Don't worry, you'll get to know all of her secrets in time," Geiz Immortal promised him. "Something to look forward to."

"Normally, I would approve of another female Rider, but she's on the wrong side and I'm still kind of in shock about learning I'm not quite the person I thought I was," Natsumi said in a daze.

"Get over it," Tsukasa said bluntly.

"My younger self, I see that all of these revelations are taking their toll on you," Oma Zi-O observed, not without sympathy. "Allow me to simplify things: as of now, there are three paths before you. You submit, and fulfill your destiny to become me. You fight valiantly, pointlessly… And still become me, either in defeat or of your own volition. Or you can attempt to choose a third path and forge your own fate… And risk the destruction of all of time due to the collapse of the time loop, unless you are _absolutely_ _certain_ you are strong enough to resolve the resulting paradoxes and create your own future. What shall it be?"

"I… I…" Sougo stammered, trembling, mind racing, desperately trying to think of some way, anyway, out of this. Everyone else stared anxiously at him, wondering how he would respond… And what they would do because of it.

And then Zero-One raised his hand awkwardly. "Um… Sorry to interrupt, I can see this is a pretty big important moment… But can someone PLEASE tell me what the heck is going on?! I mean, I was in the middle of a board meeting when you guys just barged in and dragged me onto some kind of magic train while telling me I was needed to save the future and barely explained anything! I just started out this Rider gig and have only fought a few robots and bad guys and I feel WAY out of my depth here!"

Norider clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, rookie, I'll explain everything in between chapters."

"WHAT?!"

…

 **CONTINUE…?**

…

 **Whew! That one took a while. Then again, this is the first part of the final battle, so it's only to be expected. Plus I was in a bit of a rush to get as much crammed into this as I could before I leave on a big trip, so it will be enough to tide you over until I can begin work on the next part.**

 **Buckle up, because I promise you, things are going to get even crazier from here.**


	39. Final Boss Stage Intermission 1

And now, this is where things get REALLY weird.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Suddenly, there was the sound of rapid fire, and Totema-Genomes jerked as sparks flew from his back from several dozen bullets impacting him in less than a second. His grip loosened, and Poppy immediately took advantage of it, wrenching free from the Bugster's grasp, ripping the Bugvisor II from his hand, and bringing the chainsaw down in a chop that split the monster from sternum to crotch. She immediately jumped off the edge of the cliff as the Bugster howled in anguish behind her and exploded, changing into her Girl Gamer form in a flash of white light and gliding down towards her friends, white feathers flying from her billowing wings.

Emu caught her in his arms, laughing and spinning about in relief. "Poppy! Oh thank Gaim, I thought I lost you for a minute there!"

Poppy laughed giddily with a tinge of hysteria. "Not going to lie, I thought that was game over for me too!" She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against Emu's. "But I'm okay now. We're together again, and nothing is going to tear us apart!"

Hiiro sighed in relief. "Thank Baron."

"And Malika," Satsuki agreed.

"And every other God in the pantheon except for Sigurd, because seriously, fuck that guy," Kiriya agreed.

"Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but who do we have to thank for this latest deus ex machina?" Nico wondered, glancing back up at the cliff.

"Yes, that is something I would like to know as well!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted, livid. "Every time! EVERY TIME I think I'm about to win today, someone shows up out of nowhere and screws me over! Who is responsible for this latest indignity?!"

"That would be me." A handsome young man in a tan coat walked into view at the top of the cliff, a Gatling rifle slung over one shoulder. He grinned. "I'm amazing! I'm the best! I'm a genius!"

Parad gasped. "Hey, it's Sento Kiryu!"

"Also known as Kamen Rider Build," Taiga told Nico.

She rolled her eyes. "I know who he is, Taiga…"

"WHAT?! That guy?! What's he doing here?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal demanded, outraged. He'd never forgiven Sento for popping up out of nowhere and taking off one of his extra lives that one time.

"If I were Tsukasa, I'd probably say I was just passing through… But fortunately, I'm not Tsukasa, so I have a much more plausible reason," Emu explained with a smirk. "You see, a little while ago, I sensed that someone, somewhere was claiming to be smarter than I was. Naturally, I couldn't possibly allow such a falsehood to stand, so I came right away to do something about it!"

Everyone stared at him blankly. "… Seriously?" Parad asked after a moment.

"Well, he is a little egotistical…" Emu admitted.

"It's not being egotistical if I'm right," Sento replied smugly.

Nico groaned. "Great, another know-it-all. As if Kuroto wasn't bad enough…"

"Don't compare me to him!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said angrily. "For one thing, I'm much smarter than he is! AND handsomer!"

"Wrong on both counts!" Sento declared.

"SILENCE!"

Sento's face took on a serious expression. "Seriously, though, I decided to come out here as soon as I got your signal and realized Kuroto was planning to use a quiz game to steal the brainpower of the smartest people on Earth."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, come on! Does EVERYONE know that?!"

"Yes," everyone else said deadpan.

"Seeing as how I am one of the smartest people on Earth, naturally I took offense to that, and decided to call up my colleagues, some of the other smartest people on Earth, to provide you with some backup! Though I'm not sure you guys need it, seeing as how you seem to have everything well in hand," Sento observed.

"No, they don't! I'm not finished yet!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal insisted.

"Ignore him, he's wrong," Hiiro said bluntly.

"You brought reinforcements? Who?" Kiriya asked.

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Sento said, gesturing as several other people joined him atop the cliff.

A woman in a white and orange not-spandex outfit with a helmet with sides swooping up to resemble wings struck a pose as white feathers billowed around her. "That form! The pure white, healing Etoile! DekaSwan!"

SWAN SHIRATORI: DEKASWAN

A woman in gold not-spandex with black markings resembling the rings of a leopard and a vaguely feline helmet struck a pose. "A brilliant intellect honed through constant stimulation! Peerless mind! GekiGold! My Geki is proof of justice!" A gold explosion went off behind her.

MIKI MASAKI: GEKIGOLD

A man in green armor with gold stripes, a white scarf, big red eyes on his helmet, and a crest resembling a W struck a pose as wind billowed around him, blowing his scarf in the breeze. "Are you ready to ride with the devil?"

PHILIP: KAMEN RIDER CYCLONE

The cockpit of a massive blue exosuit popped open to reveal the stern face of a young blonde man with glasses. "To paraphrase my friend Gentaro: our brilliance will take on the universe."

KENGO UTAHOSHI: POWERDIZER CUSTOM

A man in a gold and black not-spandex outfit with what looked like a stag beetle crest rising up from between his sunglasses-shaped visor struck a pose. "Arboreal Leader! Gold Beetle!" A cloud of gold smoke exploded behind him.

JIN MASATO: GOLD BEETLE

A woman in a purple suit of not-spandex resembling a dinosaur struck a pose. "The Marine Brave: KyoryuViolet!" A purple explosion went off behind her.

YAYOI ULSHADE: KYORYU VIOLET II

A man in yellow and blue armor resembling a European Knight struck a pose. For some reason, depending on the angle and the way the light played on him, he also looked as if he were wearing armor resembling a fencer, or a man in a lab coat, or something utterly alien. "I can go higher yet. More powerful, more versatile, power worthy of the God I am!"

RYOMA SENGOKU: NEW GENERATION RIDER DUKE

A girl in a pink and black outfit of not-spandex with a visor resembling a four-pointed star drew her blade and struck a pose. "The Shimmering Haze! MomoNinger!" A pink explosion went off behind her.

KASUMI MOMOCHI: MOMONINGER

A man in green, silver, and black armor with a flowing green cape and a helmet with large yellow eyes, head fins, and exposed metal brain struck a pose. "My engine has been started! I am Brain, the Kamen Rider!"

ROIDMUDE 003 BRAIN: KAMEN RIDER BRAIN

A snazzy red and black car with an extra pair of wheels on the back revved its engine. "Start your engine!" Declared the belt with an LED face strapped to the steering wheel.

KRIM STEINBELT: MR. BELT

A woman in black armor covered in lavender lines resembling circuit patterns wearing a black hoodie in lavender trim with a lavender helmet with three horns resembling flames and big black eyes vaguely shaped like hearts struck a pose. "All things can be explained, thanks to the power of science!"

AKARI TSUKIMURA: KAMEN RIDER REVENANT

A man in a similar suit, but with blue trim, no horn, and a black mask with blue eyes struck a pose. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction!"

ISAAC NEWTON: NEWTON DAMASHII

A man in a similar suit, but with yellow trim, no horn, and a black mask with yellow eyes struck a pose. "I AM EDISON!"

THOMAS EDISON: EDISON DAMASHII

"Buongiorno!" Declared a blue-eyed figure with six arms and four legs, a big bushy beard, a corkscrew hat, and a face on his chest.

LEONARDO DA VINCI: DA VINCI GANMA

A woman in orange and white armor resembling a cheetah cocked her gun. "Evil genius in violation of the law confirmed. Now eliminating."

YUA YAIBA: KAMEN RIDER VALKYRIE

A man in black and orange armor that looked as if it was made of solid magma punched the air a few times. "My power is overflowing… My soul is burning… And my magma is surging!"

RYUGA BANJO: KAMEN RIDER CROSS-Z

"And of course the leader of our think tank-" Sento began.

"I don't remember agreeing that you would be the leader," Brain interrupted.

"THE LEADER OF OUR THINK TANK," Sento bellowed, slapping on his Build Driver and taking out his Genius FullBottle. "Let's begin the experiment!"

 **{=+=} GREAT! ALL YEAH! GENIUS! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! {=+=}**

As he turned the handle on the Driver, a blue foundry constructed itself around him, conveyor belts moving FullBottles around him as pistons pumped in the background.

 **{=+=} ARE YOU READY? {=+=}**

"HENSHIN!"

In a flash of light, a white suit materialized on him as chutes connected his body to the conveyors and a golden symbol resembling a gear materialized on his chest. Full Bottles flowed down the chutes and plugged themselves into waiting receptacles, flashing with practically every color on the gradient.

 **{=+=} THE TOTALLY FLAWLESS BOTTLE BRAINIAC! BUILD GENIUS! AWESOME! REALLY AWESOME! {=+=}**

"I've got the winning formula!" Sento declared as the foundry disassembled itself around him.

SENTO KIRYU: KAMEN RIDER BUILD

Sento swiped an arm through the air. "Seeking a better future for all through the pursuit of knowledge! We are…"

"GENIUS SQUAD!" Everyone yelled as multicolored explosions erupted behind them.

"Together, there's no problem our brilliance can't solve!" Sento concluded. There was a pause, and then he relaxed his pose and nodded to his confederates. "Okay, good job everyone, we nailed the roll call perfectly on the first try! Looks like all our choreography training paid off!" Everyone sighed in relief and started congratulating each other… "… Is what I would say if Brain hadn't RUINED MY LINE!"

Everyone groaned. Brain huffed and crossed his arms. "Well, I _don't_ remember agreeing that you should be the leader!"

"I'm the one who started this group in the first place!" Sento reminded him.

"Which doesn't mean you should be the leader by default!" Brain insisted. "It should be the most intelligent of us… Namely, ME!"

"You? Since when are you the smartest?" Jin scoffed.

"I have an IQ of 300, remember?" Brain boasted.

"Brain, you have a storage capacity of 300 GB, that's not the same thing," Mr. Belt spoke up.

"That's actually kind of pathetically small for an AI when you think about it," Kengo commented.

"Sh-shut up!" Brain whined.

"If we were really going to choose our leader based on brainpower, we might as well pick Philip," Akari pointed out. "Seeing as how he's got the collected knowledge of the entire planet in his head and all. And boy, do I have some questions…"

"Thanks, but I'm more than content following someone else's play," Philip assured everyone.

"Which is fine, since this wasn't up for debate," Sento snapped.

"Well, maybe it SHOULD be!" Brain snarled.

Ryoma raised a hand. "You know, if we are throwing our hats in the ring, might I remind you that I'm a God, which means I sort of outrank every single one of you?"

"Nobody asked you!" Brain and Sento yelled at him.

Ryoma scowled. "I could smite you both for that, you know."

"Hey, maybe I should be leader," Ryuga suggested. Sento and Brain stared at him for a long moment, then resumed their arguing. The muscleheaded Rider pouted.

"… Wow. So that's what it looks like from the other side," commented an amazed Taiga.

Hiiro snorted. "Please. We are nowhere near that undisciplined."

Everyone stared him. "Dude, have you even been paying attention?" Kiriya asked in disbelief. Hiiro grunted.

Satsuki and Mizuki both bowed to Ryoma. "Lord Duke, it is an honor to be graced by your presence," Satsuki said humbly.

Ryoma nodded. "Yes, I suppose it is."

"And Miki, it's a pleasant surprise to see you here," Satsuki continued, nodding at the martial artist. "I didn't expect to be running into you again so soon."

"Neither did I," Miki concurred. "But at least this means I get a chance to make good on my threat to punish Kuroto Dan for what he did to my daughter!"

"It's-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal began.

"NOBODY CARES," the Gamer Riders shouted at him.

"Kasumi. It is… Pleasurable to see you as well," Mizuki said stiffly.

Kasumi grimaced. "My cousin is not here. You don't really need to be so stiff."

"I still haven't forgiven you for what happened at the last conference," Mizuki said coldly.

"I said I was sorry!" Kasumi protested.

Satsuki frowned. "Is this something I should know about-"

"No," both Mizuki and Kasumi denied quickly. Satsuki's frown deepened.

"So you put together your own super team of super geniuses? That's pretty cool, Sento!" Emu enthused.

"And why weren't we invited? We're geniuses!" Nico protested.

"Being a Genius Gamer isn't the same thing as being an actual genius," Taiga informed her. "I think?"

"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Sento agreed. "I decided one day that I was tired of being surrounded by people who didn't get my physics jokes and reached out to other people in our community who also have to suffer the sad fate of being more intelligent than everyone else in the room. Eventually we all got the idea of forming a team of like-minded geniuses to protect the world through the power of science and intelligence, instead of solving everything with brute force, recklessness, and hot-blooded violence."

"In my defense, it always works!" Ryuga protested.

"Wait, you let THAT guy in… But I never got an invitation?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked, suddenly reminding everyone he was still there.

"You don't meet our criteria," Swan said coolly. "For one thing, you're evil."

Confused, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal gestured at Ryoma, Brain, and the da Vinci Ganma. "But they-"

"Aren't evil anymore," da Vinci clarified.

"And for another, you're not smart enough," Ryoma added.

"N-Not smart enough?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked, livid. "You let Ryuga in! And Brain!"

"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?" Brain demanded, offended.

"Not to be rude, but… The guy's got a point. Why IS Ryuga here?" Asked the puzzled Parad. "He's kind of… Well um,…"

"A meathead?" Nico finished for him.

"Well, not in so many words, but…" Parad muttered in embarrassment.

"Hey! I'll have you know I AM a genius!" Ryuga insisted. Everyone stared him. "No, really! I passed an exam and everything!"

"… HOW?!" Demanded an incredulous Taiga.

…

Several weeks ago…

Ryuga stared at the list of questions on his desk, questions even Sento might have some difficulty answering. He chewed his pencil and thought carefully as he regarded the questions, reading and rereading them over and over as the time to complete the test grew shorter and the ticking of the clock grew louder and louder in his ears.

Suddenly, and without warning, he broke his pencil in half, tossed it aside, and punched the test sheet hard enough to dent his desk, shake the empty classroom, and caused the proctor who'd fallen asleep at the front of the room to wake up with a start. "Huh? Whuzzat?"

Ryuga got up, walked to the front of the class, and handed the proctor the test. "Here. All done."

"What?" The proctor murmured, bewildered. "What do you do-"

He glanced at the test sheet. He did a double-take and examined it more thoroughly. Then he read it a second time. And a third. "Well?" Ryuga pressed, getting annoyed.

The examiner put the test down and looked up at Ryuga, astounded. "I…I don't believe it! You got every question right! But… _how?!_ "

Ryuga shrugged, not looking particularly surprised. "Whenever I have a problem, I find that punching it usually fixes everything."

The examiner gawked at him, dumbfounded. Behind him, the desk Ryuga had been using abruptly disintegrated.

…

Everyone stared at Ryuga blankly. "… Seriously?" Nico asked finally.

Ryuga scowled. "Why does everyone seem so skeptical when they hear that story?"

"As implausible as it may sound, it's true," Sento confirmed. "Whenever Ryuga has a problem, he finds that punching it fixes it."

Ryuga nodded. "Door is stuck? Punch it open. Cable is out? Punch the TV until it starts working again. Bad guy is seemingly invincible to everything we throw at him? Punch him until he dies. Someone has bad teeth? Punch them straight. Get in an argument with my girlfriend?"

"You punch your girlfriend?!" Poppy exclaimed, horrified.

Ryuga recoiled in alarm. "What? No, we sit down and have an honest discussion about our feelings on the matter," Ryuga exclaimed, repulsed. "Why would I punch her? That doesn't make any sense." The Gamer Riders facefaulted.

"Anyway, this isn't even our full roster," Sento continued. "Just everyone who was available on short notice to deal with this. We tried calling the Livemen, but they were busy with something."

…

Elsewhere…

Red Falcon grunted as he and the rebuilt Guardnoid Gash exchanged fire as they danced about the reconstructed headquarters of the Armed Brain Army Volt. "Everyone, keep fighting!" He called to his teammates, who were furiously battling against Jimmers, revived Brain Beasts, and clones of their former friends/adversaries. "We have to stop Bias before it's too late!"

An oversized brain in a jar hooked into several computer mainframes by thick cables at the back of the room cackled maniacally as code streamed across several massive monitors. "FOOLS!" The brain of Great Professor Bias declared. "It is already too late! In mere moments, I shall have absorbed the entirety of the Internet! All the knowledge of the human race will be at my metaphorical fingertips! I shall be the most intelligent being in the universe!"

"Not on my watch!" Black Bison tried to fire a blast at the brain of Bias, only for his arm to get jogged at the last minute by Chibuchian Butchy, causing his shot to go wild. "Gah! I missed!"

"Which will be the last thing you shall ever regret doing, for at long last, Bias has PREVAILED!" The brain cackled madly as the monitors behind him flashed, displaying the symbol of Volt. His brain started glowing with all the colors of the rainbow. "The accumulated knowledge of the human race is now at my-"

A pop-up window suddenly appeared on one of the monitors. "What? No, I don't want to get my penis enlarged, I don't even have one!"

He quickly closed the pop-up, only for another half a dozen to spring up. "Eh? What is this? Deposed Nigerian royalty needs my money to retake their throne? I'm not paying them a cent!"

He closed the pop-ups, and several dozen appeared in their place. "What is… A good offer for a used car? Links to popular videos? Advertisements for some show I'm never going to watch? Get out of here!"

He quickly closed all the pop-ups, only four more to appear, and more, and more, multiplying like rabbits and filling up the monitors. The brain's flashing began to speed up and smoke started to rise from his casing. "Master?" Gash asked in alarm, turning away from the fight. Everyone else stopped fighting as well, staring as Bias started shaking.

"No, I don't care about these memes – – where is the meat of it, where's all the – – oh dear God, I had no idea there could be so many fetishes, I have no mouth so I cannot throw up – – the information, the secrets, the knowledge, not all – – so much artwork, so many stories, so many of them GARBAGE –" Bias began gibbering, sparks flying from the cables as the monitors filled up completely with pop-ups, began glitching, and started to crack. "No no no, this can't be it, the Internet is supposed to be a place of knowledge and exchange of information, why… Why is there… _Why is there so much porn?!"_

Bias howled in agony, the case his brain was in shattering. The mainframes behind him exploded and the screens went dark, and the brain burst into flames. Gash gasped in horror. "Master! NOOOOOOO!"

"… Okay, not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting that outcome," Blue Dolphin commented, bewildered.

"The Internet is too vast to be contained in one mind," Red Falcon said, shaking his head in pity. "No one person could possibly comprehend the depths of its information… And its sheer capacity for depravity."

"Yeah, the Internet's gotten MUCH bigger than it was in the late 80s," Green Sai agreed. "He really should have updated his pop-up blockers and spam filters, and maybe invested in larger memory capacity. Then this could all have been avoided."

As Gash knelt before the brain of his master and desperately tried to coax it back to life, the other revived Volt members exchanged uncertain looks. "So… Do we keep fighting, or…" Dr. Obular wondered.

Dr. Mazenda threw up her hands in exasperation. "That's it, I quit. I never liked Bias anyway, he was such a creeper." The other revived villains nodded in agreement.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Dr. Ashura asked, uncertain.

"Well, I think I'm going to go see if the species I was programmed to think I'm a part of really exists," Butchy decided. "Want to come, Guildos?"

"Yeah, okay," the other fake alien agreed.

"That's great, but what about us?" Obular demanded.

"Hmm…Hey, Livemen! I don't suppose there are any positions open for formerly evil teachers back at Academia Island?" Dr. Kemp queried the heroes. He offered them a winning smile at their skeptical looks. "I know it might be a little tricky, but… Surely you can make an exception for a few old friends?"

…

"We also tried to recruit Kabuto, but…"

…

Tendo Souji glared imperiously at Sento and Ryuga, who were standing on his doorstep with hopeful looks on their faces. Slowly, deliberately, he raised an arm and pointed a finger into the sky. "Grandmother said this: rely on your own strength. Looking to others instead of yourself will only lead to ruined."

He then stepped back inside his house and closed the door in their faces.

After moment, a confused Ryuga turned to his partner. "So… Was that a maybe?" Sento groaned.

…

"Yeah… He's kind of difficult to work with," Philip agreed.

"His grandmother must've been quite the woman, to possess such wisdom and strength of character," Mr. Belt remarked.

"But it doesn't look as if we need them after all, seeing as how you guys seem to have had everything well in hand by the time we got here," Sento continued. "Well, other than Poppy being held hostage, that is."

"Thank you very much for that, by the way," Poppy said gratefully, squeezing Emu's arm.

"For that, you can be a groomsman at our wedding," Emu promised.

Yayoi gasped. "You're getting married? Congratulations!" The rest of the Genius Squad murmured their agreement and clapped politely, while Ryuga loudly wondered if he was invited as well.

Sento frowned. "Groomsman? Not best man?"

"That position's already filled," Parad said proudly.

"Really? When was that agreed upon?" Kiriya asked, having secretly hoped he was going to be best man.

"You weren't present for that conversation," the Bugster told him.

"Well, I suppose that will have to suffice-" Sento began.

"What are you talking about?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal interjected in outrage. "Weddings? Best men? Grandmothers?! Have you forgotten we are in the middle of a battle here?!"

"We are?" Taiga quipped. "I thought we were done. You know, seeing as you can barely stand, every single one of your plans has fallen through, you're vastly outnumbered…"

"But you forget!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal reminded them. "I still have 99 extra lives! And if you take even one of them away, the "data of death" will be enough for me to perfect Quiz Chronicle and unleash my master plan to take over the world!"

"Then we won't kill you, just beat the crap out of you until you surrender or your transformation cancels out, whichever comes first," Nico said with a shrug, unbothered.

"And what's to stop me from just killing MYSELF, then?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal taunted.

That gave them pause, but only for a moment. "You're bluffing. We all know that you're too much of a coward to kill yourself, even if you know full well you'll get better," Hiiro said dismissively.

Parad, Poppy, and Kiriya nodded. "Yeah, even though some of us have died and gotten better from it, we're not keen to repeat the experience. It _hurts_ ," Kiriya said with a grimace.

"Yeah, Takeru says that sometimes after I've killed him several times in a row for science," Akari agreed.

"… Do you stop?" Asked a disturbed Yua.

"No? Why would I?" Akari asked, looking confused.

Newton grimaced. "I think you're spending too much time with Igor."

"I am Edison," Edison agreed.

"A fair point," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal conceded reluctantly. "But I'm not truly beaten just yet! You aren't the only ones who have friends you can call upon for assistance!"

"We… Kind of are?" Emu pointed out. "I mean, seeing as you don't have any friends?"

"Unless he's going to just summon the Bugsters again," Satsuki pointed out.

Mizuki sighed. "I really hope he doesn't. We spent enough time fighting them today already."

"Plus, we wiped the floor with them, what would be the point in bringing them back for another go?" Taiga agreed.

"Boss rush?" Nico suggested.

"Didn't we just do that, against the Bugster Unions?" Parad complained.

"I don't think that means we can't have a second one," Emu pointed out.

"Lame!"

"Oh, you aren't going to be fighting _those_ failures again," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered. "But something much worse! **Which of the following are among the greatest threats the world has faced in the last 20-odd years?**

 **A. Rainian Agent Abrella**

 **B. Terror Dopant**

 **C. Enter Unite**

 **D. Sagittarius Nova Zodiarts**

 **E. Transcendenterfly God Deboss**

 **F. Lord Baron**

 **G. Gengetsu Kibaoni**

 **H. Great Eyezer**

 **I. Evolt**

 **J. Super Starfish Hitler**

 **K. Pumpkin Rapper**

 **L. Count Dracula**

 **M. Long**

 **N. Kamen Rider Gold Drive**

 **O. Dokoku Chimatsuri**

 **P. Kyoryu Greeed**

 **Q. Brajira of the Messiah**

 **R. Emperor of Darkness Z-Shin**

 **S. Shin Ginis**

 **T. Dogranio Yaboon**

 **U. All of the above"**

"… That's a lot of bad guys," commented an unnerved Akari.

"Well, there ARE a lot of us," Jin pointed out.

"Still."

Mizuki gasped. "My family's adversary! How did you…?!"

"And mine as well," Kasumi growled.

Ryuga stiffened. "Sento, we can't let him summon _him_! It'd be the apocalypse! Again!"

"Don't worry, Ryuga, we won't let it get that far," Sento promised his partner.

"No," Swan whispered, trembling. "We can't." Kengo nodded in solemn agreement, remembering what they had seen and heard out in space.

"You would dare to summon my God to fight for you?!" Hiiro cried, outraged.

Miki nodded, livid. "And that _monster_ , Lo-"

"Nobody answer the question!" Emu cried urgently. "He'll summon whatever names we pick to fight us!"

"Which means nobody should say any names out loud, either, since that would probably count," Parad seconded.

"Which means we can't ask why he's got weirdos like… You know… On the list?" Nico questioned.

"Probably best not to risk it," Taiga agreed.

"We kind of figured that out already, thanks," Kasumi commented.

"It's rather self-evident," Yayoi agreed.

Brain sniffed. "After all, we ARE geniuses."

"Brain, the only reason we let you in is because you kicked and screamed and threw a tantrum until we said yes," Mr. Belt said wearily.

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!" Brain shrieked.

"Gou made a video of it. He put it online," Mr. Belt retorted.

"DAMMIT."

"Oh, but this wasn't a question for YOU, heroes," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered. "But it was for a question for _me_! And the answer is _U_. _All of the above_!"

"What?! You can't do that!" Poppy cried. "Wait, can he do that?"

"Apparently so," Satsuki remarked, on guard as the question orbs enlarged to the size of a man, swirled through the air, and landed in a direct line before True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. There was a flash of light, and where the orbs once rested, now stood over a dozen of some of the most feared, wicked, and dangerous villains to ever threaten the Earth.

Oh, and Pumpkin Rapper was there, too. "Yo, yo! My name is Pumpkin Rapper, and I'm going to throw you in the crapper!" The pumpkin-headed monster rapped.

"… Okay, I have to ask, at what point has this guy ever been a serious threat to the planet?" Kiriya asked, bewildered.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sniffed. "I'll have you know that in an alternate timeline, Pumpkin Rapper was instrumental to the downfall of humanity!… Also I thought he could provide the background music for our fight."

"I'm a DJ too, yo!" Pumpkin Rapper declared, putting on some ladder shades and making a gang sign.

"If they don't kill you, I'm going to do it myself," Long declared. Pumpkin Rapper yelped.

"Okay, I know I should be horrified beyond belief to be confronted with a rogues gallery of some of the most dangerous villains of the 21st-century, but… Wasn't Starfish Hitler a one-shot monster of the week from the 70s?" Asked a confused Nico, referring to the black and gold cape-wearing starfish monster wearing the face of one of history's most infamous dictators.

"He was revived by neo-Nazis and Holocaust deniers a few years back and was able to feed on enough hatred and fear to become a global threat and attempted to create a Fourth Reich of monsters and take over the world," Taiga explained.

"Und ich wäre damit auch durchgekommen, wenn nicht die sieben legendären Reiter eingemischt worden wären!" Super Starfish Hitler declared.

"What did he just say?" Asked the perplexed Nico.

"I have no idea, but we all probably would be forced to speak that language if he weren't stopped by the Seven Legendary Riders," Taiga informed her.

"Das habe ich gerade gesagt!" Super Starfish Hitler bellowed.

"Dude, nobody can understand your moon speak, talk in Japanese like the rest of us!" Nico yelled at Super Starfish Hitler.

"Nico, please don't taunt the reincarnation of one of history's greatest monsters," Taiga groaned.

"Dude, have you _met_ me?!" Nico retorted. Super Starfish Hitler and Taiga both sighed.

"Abrella… You should have stayed dead, for what you did to Doggy and the others…" Swan growled.

"It is a pleasure to see you as well, officer," the batlike alien said in a facetious bow. "… Why is that man over there wearing one of my jars?"

"It's not one of yours!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled. "It's a completely distinct head jar! Why are _you_ wearing one of mine?!" Abrella rolled his eyes.

"No… The Infernal Dragon has been freed from his seal…" Miki whispered in horror.

"At last… I am finally free!" The golden dragon man Long bellowed.

"Father… is that you?!" Cried an alarmed Philip.

"My… My son?" The Terror Dopant murmured, seeming disoriented.

"Chairman Gamou," Kengo said coolly.

"Young Utahoshi… It has been quite some time," the Zodiarts noted.

"Enter… You should've stayed dead," Jin growled.

"The same could be said of you," the evil avatar remarked. "How did you get back this time, anyway? Another backup program?"

"Oh, I'm not the Jin Masato you're thinking of," Jin explained. "I'm actually from an alternate timeline where Messiah never came to be and the Go-Busters were formed to fight a completely different threat."

"I thought that timeline was erased," Enter noted, puzzled.

"We got better."

"Deboss!" Yayoi hissed, horrified.

"Kyoryuger… I shall enjoy killing you," the monster that had wiped out the dinosaurs (well, one of them, anyway) declared coldly.

"My Lord Baron… It is… It is an honor to be in your presence," Kaito whispered in awe, bowing. Satsuki and Mizuki were already on their knees.

"What… What am I doing here?" Lord Baron asked, bewildered. "Duke? Why aren't you in space helping the others? Why aren't _I?!"_

Ryoma almost swallowed. "Oh dear. It would seem the jig is up."

"Gengetsu… It's going to take you a lot longer than 444 years to revive after I'm done with you!" Kasumi snarled.

The warlord laughed. "Bold words, from a slip of a girl such as yourself! I will enjoy breaking you."

" _Not as much as I will."_

"BANNO!" Brain and Mr. Belt roared, livid.

The Golden Rider laughed malevolently. "My unworthy creation, my dear rival… Such a pleasure to see you again."

"The pleasure will be all mine, when I break that stupid face of yours!" Brain yelled shrilly.

"Oh great, it's this guy," Akari groaned.

"ALL SOULS SHALL BE ASSIMILATED!" The Great Eyezer declared.

"I am Edison!" Edison, who _was_ a soul, cried in alarm.

"Count Dracula, King of the vampires…" Mizuki said coolly, drawing her sword. "Do you know who I am?"

"A member of the accursed Nishikikoji line, who have thwarted my ambitions time and time again," the eight-foot tall man in red and black with long dark hair, a deathlike pale complexion, and fangs intoned, smoke rising from his body as he shielded himself from the sun with his cape. "I fought your mother, and her mother before her, and her mother before her. Let us see if you measure up to their legacy."

"…Emu. Emu, is it just me, or does he look _just_ like he does in Castlevania?!" asked an astounded Parad.

"Hey yeah, he does!" Emu realized.

"So cool," Nico gushed.

"I don't look like the one in Castlevania, _he_ looks like me!" Dracula snarled. "They used my likeness without my permission! One of many things I need to take up with the creators of that accursed series!"

"Aren't you a public domain character, though?" Yua asked.

"Only because the world thinks I'm fictional," the vampire grumbled. "Speaking of which…Ninninger, thank you for slaying that loathsome Yokai passing himself off as me. I was planning to kill him myself, but you did my work for me."

"You're welcome?" said the confused Kasumi.

"And while I'm grateful to be revived again… Do you think you could have thought to do so when the sun was _down_?!" Dracula hissed at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "The King of the vampires does not do sunlight!"

"I'm not too fond of it either, it's a bit too bright for my liking," Z complained.

"… That, uh, yeah, that probably would've been a good idea," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal admitted, embarrassed.

"WORRY NOT, COMRADES," the Great Eyezer declared. "I SHALL HANDLE THIS."

He waved his hand…

And the sun set and the moon rose as, in a matter of seconds, day turned to night. Dracula sighed in relief and stood up straight, looking even taller now as he let his cape billow behind him. "Ahhh, much better. Thank you, my friend."

"Yeah, this is a bit better," Z agreed.

A great many of the geniuses gawked. "how… How did he just do that?!" Kengo demanded.

"Made the sun set and the moon rise, obviously," Ryuga pointed out, as if it was Kengo who was the idiot and not him.

"Banjo, that's not how the circadian cycle works!" Sento yelled.

"What do cicadas have to do with anything?" Ryuga asked in confusion. Sento facepalmed.

"Either this is an illusion, or they are so powerful they could affect the planet's rotation, which would mean they're probably too strong to be defeated," said a baffled and horrified Philip.

"But they were defeated," Akari pointed out. "I was there."

"This isn't the first time I've heard of something like this," Miki commented. "Hong Kong Media King Yang was able to affect the circadian cycle once he'd mastered Mechung-Fu."

"I'm pretty sure martial arts don't work that way," said a perplexed Yayoi.

"As an actual martial artist, I can safely say it does," Miki argued.

"Now is not the time to be arguing about how strong someone who is somehow able to impossibly turn day to night is, especially when we have something even worse, a being capable of destroying entire UNIVERSES, in our midst!" Swan yelled, pointing at Evolt. "Kuroto Dan, what were you thinking, bringing THAT here?!"

"Huh? What am I doing here?" Evolt wondered, looking around in confusion. "Was just about to eat that planet, too…" He perked up, noticing Sento and Ryuga, who were trembling in rage and more than a little fear. "Oh! Hey, guys! Been a while, hasn't it?"

"Not long enough," Sento growled, shaking with rage and no small amount of fear.

"… Why are you white now?" Ryuga asked in confusion, noticing that his alien nemesis appeared to be in his Ultimate State, but was white instead of his customary red.

Everyone stared at the boxer in horror and disbelief. "Oh my Gaim, Banjo, you can't just ask people why they're white!" Sento cried in disgust.

"What? It's a legitimate question! He used to be red, and now he's white!" Ryuga protested.

"Oh, this?" Evolt asked, glancing down at himself. "Yeah, my color changed after I ate a galaxy or two. I'm pretty sure I'm even stronger now than I was during our final battle. So, I'm not so certain things will go the same way they did last time should we fight again."

"Kuroto Dan, what were you thinking? Do you have any idea what this monster and his kin are doing right now?" Kengo demanded, outraged. "You may have just doomed us all!"

"I have no idea you're talking about," said the confused True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"Neither do I, I just got here," Evolt spoke up.

"This is 'our' Evolt," Ryoma explained to his colleagues. "He has no affiliation with the Evolt that's currently fighting my comrades in space."

"Wait, there's another me?" Evolt asked, bewildered. "Since when?"

"It is of no consequence to you, since you will not be getting a chance to join your brethren," Lord Baron declared, drawing his sword as he stalked towards the alien.

Evolt snorted. "Okay, big guy, I know you're a God and all, but you're not the first deity I've tangled with and it's never ended well for them. I suggest you reconsider what you're about to do in the next few seconds before I-"

Lord Baron swung his sword through the air. There was a pause, and then Evolt split in half, the separated parts of his body disintegrating into particles of golden light and revealing there was now a colossal canyon stretching several hundred miles out into the distance, a mountain barely visible over the horizon bisected to let it through.

Everyone gawked in amazement. Ryoma rolled his eyes. "Such a show off…"

"Now that," Hiiro said reverently. "Is a blade that can truly cut through anything."

"Duke!" Lord Baron shouted, glancing at the scientist God. "What you think you're doing here? Our comrades are in the middle of a battle for the fate of the universe!"

"I'm still there!" Ryoma insisted. "I can be in multiple places at once! I'm a God, I can do that!"

"Duke, this is a battle that requires your full attention! You shouldn't be wasting any of it on a petty conflict the mortals of this world can easily handle on their own!" Lord Baron snapped.

"But Baron, that man claimed he was smarter than me!" Ryoma whined, pointing at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, who did not really want to be singled out right now. "In case you've forgotten, both of us USED to be mortals from this world, engaging in equally petty conflicts-"

"DUKE!" Lord Baron snapped, stomping the ground. The earth shook, everyone staggered to maintain their footing, and on the other side of the planet, several volcanoes erupted.

"Right. Getting out of here. Sorry everyone, you're going have to do this on your own, without any divine intervention on my part," Ryoma yelped, opening a dimensional crack. "Good luck!"

He jumped through the gateway, the crack zipping shut behind him.

"You know, I wondered why he was here instead of continuing the fight in space," Swan said timorously after a moment.

" _What_ fight in space?" Asked an alarmed Poppy.

"In an attempt to defeat a seemingly undefeatable foe, the Space Squad foolishly allowed an amalgamation of Evolts that succeeded in devouring their home realities to enter our universe, seeking to consume it as they have so many others," Lord Baron explained. "It is taking everything we of Helheim have to keep him contained… And then Duke ran off to join your battle, and I found myself summoned here against my will by a human with delusions of godhood who has no idea of the forces he is meddling with, or the danger he has put all of us in!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cringed. "Well, how was I supposed to know there was something going on in space? It's space! Nobody cares what's going on in space!"

"Excuse me?" Swan, Kengo and Gamou demanded, outraged.

"No… An incursion like that… Lord Baron! Do you need our expertise?" A horrified Sento asked, mind reeling at the thought of so many Evolts attacking the universe. It'd taken everything he had to defeat the previous one, and that hadn't even really lasted!

"Perhaps in the days to come, should this battle be beyond our grasp… But for now, we have things handled. I must return to the front lines, where I am needed," Lord Baron declared. "But first…"

He pointed a finger at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Wait, what are you…"

An absolutely tiny energy ball shot from Lord Baron's fingertip and pierced True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's chest, creating a pencil-thin entry wound…

And absolutely obliterating the entire back of his body, cleaving another massive canyon through the landscape extending for hundreds of miles. The hollow shell that was all that was left of True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body slowly toppled forward, vaporizing before it could hit the ground.

"Such is the fate of all who interfere in the works of the divine," Lord Baron declared, lowering his finger. The villains who had been closest to True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal frantically shuffled out of the way, frightened he might turn his attention on them next.

"… Okay, I think I can see why Baron is the deity you worship," said an astounded Taiga.

"Dude's UNSPEAKABLY badass!" Nico gushed.

Hiiro nodded proudly. "All of the deities in the Gaimist pantheon can be considered war gods… But Baron is the only one who truly earned the moniker of 'God of War.'"

"The rest, I shall leave to you," Lord Baron declared, turning from the canyon he'd casually created. "Surely a group of adversaries you've bested in the past shouldn't be too much trouble?"

"No, my lord, it is not," Hiiro said quickly. "You may leave the rest to us. You are needed far more elsewhere."

"Wait, can't he just wipe out all of-" a confused Parad began.

"Baron is a God who believes that mortals should grow strong on their own merits and solve their own problems, rather than always expecting someone else to do it for them," Satsuki interjected.

"Plus, do you REALLY want to contradict someone who could do that?" Mizuki added, nodding at both examples of just how radically the God had altered the landscape.

"… Right. Good point," Parad agreed meekly.

"Kagami. You consider yourself one of my followers?" Lord Baron asked, regarding Hiiro for a moment.

"I do," Hiiro confirmed.

"You're in the presence of your deity. Is there nothing you would ask of me?" Lord Baron asked, tilting his head.

"My Lord, there's nothing I desire that I cannot achieve through my own strength," Hiiro assured him.

Lord Baron nodded, pleased. "A good answer. The woman you love will soon be returned to you. Whether or not you consider it a gift from me is really up to you. It doesn't matter to me either way."

Hiiro trembled for a moment, then bowed his head. " _Thank you_ , my Lord."

Lord Baron glanced at Satsuki, Mizuki and Poppy. "Nishikikoki. Pipopapo. You're the ones my bride has chosen? And Ogimachi… You are the one she kissed earlier today?"

"Um," Satsuki swallowed, trembling in fear.

Lord Baron nodded once. "As always, I can see that my wife has excellent taste."

Satsuki blushed profusely. Mizuki and Poppy giggled. "I… Thank you, my Lord."

Lord Baron gestured, opening a crack. "Fight well, and so shall I. Farewell."

He passed through the crack and disappeared, the hole in reality zipping itself up neatly behind him.

"… So. That just happened," Nico said after a long moment.

"Well, I guess I can no longer be an atheist, after seeing that display," Mr. Belt remarked.

"I still can!" Akari boasted. "Just because he's an absurdly powerful being made stronger by the prayers and wishes of those who believe in him and presides over another world alongside similar beings does not necessarily mean he's a God, no more than the spectral beings accompanying me are the actual ghosts of Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison, or Leonardo da Vinci despite having all the personalities and memories of Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison, or Leonardo da Vinci, since there are no such things as gods and ghosts."

Everyone stared at her blankly for a moment. "But-" started a confused Taiga.

"She can be ridiculously skeptical at times," said a weary Yayoi. "Just go with it."

"Holy crap… Sento, that guy killed Evolt in one hit!" Cried an astonished Ryuga.

"I never seen anything like it," agreed the astonished genius.

"Yeah, it hurt like hell," Evolt agreed, standing right next to them.

There was a pause, and then Sento and Ryuga screamed (not like little girls, honest) and jumped a few feet in the air, Ryuga landing in the startled Sento's arms and nearly toppling him over. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" they cried.

"We just saw you get annihilated!" Cried an astonished Yua.

"Yeah, but I can regenerate from a single cell… And my boy Banjo here is chock-full of them!" Evolt declared, patting the dismayed Ryuga on the shoulder.

"I'm not your boy!" Ryuga shouted.

"You've got more of my genetic material in you than the guy you called your father, I'm pretty sure you are," Evolt corrected him, patting him on the head.

Kiriya started. "Emu! Evolt isn't the only one who can come back from the dead!"

Emu gasped. "That's right! Kuroto said he had extra lives!"

"And that all he needed to perfect his game was "data of death!"" Parad continued. "Which means…"

With an insane cackle, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sprung out of a purple warp pipe. "Fools! Did you really think you'd seen the last of me? Not even a GOD can keep me down!" He hesitated, and cast furtive glances around. "He… He's gone, right? And isn't likely to return anytime soon? No? Right, where was I…GWAHAHAHAHA! Thanks to Lord Baron's impulsive actions, I have obtained everything I need to perfect Quiz Chronicle, and all it took was…" He did a double take when he saw the counter over his head. "Holy shit, I'm at 27 lives?! Fruit Jesus Kazuraba, that guy is strong! But no matter! Now, the REAL game begins!"

He pressed a button on his Driver, causing the Quiz Chronicle Gashat to pulsate with an ominous glow. Question marks formed in the air around him and glommed onto his body, causing large gauntlets with claws shaped like question marks to form over his arms, two pairs of wings made of question marks to unfold from his back, and a double-headed sword whose blades were crooked to resemble question marks materialized in his hand. Horns shaped like question marks formed from the sides of his head, and his visible brain started shimmering with light. He laughed madly as thousands of holographic screen showing the title screen of Quiz Chronicle materialized over his head and started scattering to the four winds, multiplying and propagating themselves at alarming rates. "Yes! YES! It's finally happening! At last, I've WON!"

"Nice going, Hiiro! Your God just screwed us over big time!" Nico complained.

"I'll ask you not to insult Lord Baron in my presence!… Though I will concede this is perhaps not his finest moment," Hiiro admitted in embarrassment.

"You haven't won yet, Kuroto!" Emu insisted. "We're still here!"

"Not for much longer!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered. "My game is spreading across the world even as we speak! Millions of people are in the process of downloading and playing it! It's only a matter of minutes until I become the most intelligent being in the universe, far too intelligent to be defeated by the likes of you!" He chuckled darkly. "Oh, and it's no longer True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal… But Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!"

Everyone stared at him for a very long time, even the villains. "We're not calling you that!" Nico shouted finally.

"Why is "final" in his name twice?" Wondered a confused Ryuga.

"Because I am your END!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme bellowed.

Perplexed, Ryuga glanced at his partner. "Sento, I know I'm stupid, but that didn't make sense, right?"

Sento shook his head. "No, it did not. Also, please get out of my arms, you're very heavy."

"Oh, sorry."

"It's not over yet!" Emu insisted. "All we have to do is stop you before you consume the brainpower of everyone else on Earth! Even with your power boost, I doubt you can take on all of us at once!"

"Which is why, while I continue my evolution, my minions shall deal with you!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme declared. "Get them, my underlings!"

"Nah."

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme did a double take and stared at Evolt in disbelief. ""Nah?" What do you MEAN "nah?!""

"Exactly what I just said. "Nah,"" Evolt repeated. "I don't feel like it."

"You don't?" Ryuga asked in surprise.

"Banjo, don't push him! We don't want him to change his mind!" Sento hissed.

"What do you… What do you MEAN you don't feel like it?!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme screamed shrilly. "You're Evolt! Possibly the most powerful, feared, and evil antagonist any Kamen Rider has ever faced! You've devoured planets for millions of years! You tried to destroy an entire universe! How could you possibly turn down a chance like this, especially since your two greatest adversaries are here?!"

"Okay, first off, 'greatest adversaries' is a bit of a stretch-" Evolt began.

"Excuse me?!" Sento demanded.

"Second, just because I'm the most powerful, feared, and evil antagonist any Kamen Rider has ever faced doesn't mean I gotta be like that ALL the time," Evolt continued. "If I don't feel like being the bad guy right now, then I don't have to be the bad guy. Simple as that. I just ate a good dozen solar systems this morning and I'm still digesting, so I don't really feel up to doing much of anything right now. Don't worry, you can go ahead and have your little fight without me. I'll just watch." He patted a bewildered Ryuga on the shoulder. "Put on a good show for your old man, okay, boy?"

"You're not my old man!" Ryuga shouted.

"Of course I'm not," Evolt said condescendingly as he turned to walk away.

"But… But that's not how this is supposed to work!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme protested incredulously. "I summoned you!"

"And that means I have to obey you?" Evolt asked.

"Well… Yes! That's how it usually goes!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme pointed out.

Evolt snorted. "Human, as you yourself said, I'm among the most powerful, feared, and evil antagonists any Kamen Rider has ever faced. Why the hell would I obey a wannabe supervillain like yourself?"

"WANNABE?!"

Z raised a hand. "Hey, if it's okay to abstain-"

"It isn't!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme snapped.

"I think I'm gonna sit this fight out as well," the Emperor of Darkness continued. "I was never really that into the whole world domination thing anyway. Now that I've found my own rainbow in the dark in the form of my lovely wife, I don't really see the need in covering the world in darkness and killing all who oppose me. So… Yeah, thanks for calling me up, but I think I'm just gonna watch as well."

"That's not… you can't…"Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme spluttered.

"I think I'll join you and Evolt, if that's all right," Dogranio spoke up suddenly.

"What?! WHY?!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme demanded, shocked. "You're a notorious crime boss feared across countless dimensions! You've plundered and destroyed numerous worlds! I just broke you out of prison! You OWE me!"

"Son, I'm grateful for you breaking me out, truly I am," Dogranio said genially. "But let's be honest. I'm an old man. I'm over a thousand years old, and would've been happily enjoying my retirement on some distant resort planet right now if those rotten phantom thieves and cops hadn't defeated me and taken down my criminal empire. Plus, I spent the last few years chained to a pillar in a basement with hundreds of machine guns pointed at me waiting for the gears of bureaucracy to finish processing my execution paperwork so I could finally die. I am in no way, shape, or form ready to fight this many young heroes after just gaining my freedom. So thank you very much for letting me out, but I'm going to take a breather, recover my strength, then go back to my own world to see about regrouping my organization and making those brats pay for what they did to me before FINALLY retiring. Don't worry, you've got plenty of other new friends to help you, I'm sure you'll be fine."

"But-but-" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme stammered as Dogranio and Z started to walk over to Evolt.

"Do you have room for one more?" Agent Abrella asked.

"Oh, COME ON!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme yelled. "You're one of the most infamous alien criminals in history! A member of the police force that killed you is right here! How can you possibly walk away from this?!"

"Not that I'm complaining, but I would like to know the same thing," Swan spoke up, suspicious.

"Well, it's quite simple really. My combat skills are not nearly as impressive as most of the other villains here, since I usually do my best work through the use of weapons, proxies, and manipulation," Abrella explained. "And in addition… Now that you've brought me back from the dead, I find myself faced with something I thought impossible for me: a clean slate."

"What's he talking about?" Asked a confused Philip.

Swan stiffened. "Oh. Oh, you _cunning bastard."_

"Am I missing something? It's not just me, right?" Ryuga asked.

"No, I don't get it either," Sento admitted.

"When the Dekarangers defeated him, Abrella was charged, convicted of, and executed for his numerous crimes across the universe," Swan explained. "But since he was found guilty of those crimes, and his sentence was carried out… Now that he is back from the dead, he's technically innocent of any wrongdoing unless new evidence for an overlooked crime pops up or he does something evil right now. Which means…"

"So long as I do nothing illegal, or rather, am not _caught_ doing anything illegal, the police can't touch me," Abrella finished smugly. "Which means if I don't feel like participating in this fight, there's nothing any of you can do to stop me, and indeed can walk right out of here whenever I want so long as I do nothing to (visibly) help the forces of evil."

"Ooh, that's clever," Nico remarked.

"Nico, don't admire the master criminal!" Taiga chastised her.

" _Former_ master criminal, I'm reformed now," Abrella said with a straight face.

"Like hell you are!" Swan snapped.

"Can you prove that I'm not?" Abrella asked innocently.

"… Unfortunately, no," Swan admitted grudgingly.

"Then I'm in the clear," Abrella said cheerfully.

"Wait, but the rest of us aren't cops," Jin pointed out. "What's to stop us from beating him up?"

"Because then Officer Shiratori would have to arrest you for assaulting an innocent bystander for no reason," Abrella countered.

"He's right, I would," Swan grumbled miserably.

"Innocent? You're totally evil!" Ryuga protested.

"Banjo, you can't just attack someone because they're evil. They have to do something bad first," Sento argued.

"Precisely. And if I don't do anything evil, can you actually prove that I am?" Abrella retorted. "For all you know, after I died I repented for my sins and intend to go straight now that I have a second chance at life."

"And _do_ you plan to go straight?" Hiiro asked skeptically.

"Most certainly! In fact, I believe I will converse with this distinguished gentleman here," Abrella explained, nodding at Dogranio. "And ask him for stories of his many years as a criminal mastermind, so that I will know exactly what sorts of illegal activities I should avoid doing now that I am a law-abiding citizen."

Dogranio burst into laughter. "Ha! I like the stones on you, kid! It's a shame you're going "straight," a guy as clever as you wouldn't do half-bad as my successor."

"Indeed," Abrella agreed, trying very hard not to smile. "Such a pity." Swan growled.

"So… Is he actually going straight or…" A confused Ryuga asked.

Sento sighed. "No, Banjo, he's not."

"Unbelievable," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme groaned, putting his face in his hands. "All right, let's get this over with. Does anybody ELSE not want to fight the heroes? You know, the very thing I _brought you back from the dead or freed from imprisonment to do?"_

Immediately, the Terror Dopant and Sagittarius Nova Zodiarts raised their hands. "In death, the madness that dominated the last few years of my life left me. I see now that I was wrong to take the actions I did, even if I believed it was for the ultimate betterment of mankind, for it led to the destruction of my family at my own hand. I can no longer bring myself to raise a hand against my beloved son, Raito…no, _Philip_ , and indeed wish to fight alongside him, if he will have me," the Terror Dopant, no, Ryubee Sonozaki, declared, looking hopefully at his son.

"Father… There is nothing I would like more," Philip whispered, holding back tears.

"So you want to make up with your son. Great. How wonderful for you. Not like my dad ever did that for me…" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme grumbled enviously. "So what's your excuse, guy who doesn't look very much like a centaur at all, despite being themed after Sagittarius?"

"just like Ryubee, I did terrible things because I believed at the time they were necessary for the betterment of mankind… Is what I would like to say, but in reality, I did it for myself," the Zodiarts, Mitsuaki Gamou, confessed. "I could not stand the idea of someone other than myself traveling to the center of the galaxy to represent humanity before the Presenters. Because of my selfishness, I destroyed my friendships, ruined the lives of those who trusted me, used children as pawns, nearly destroyed the country, and killed the only person worthy of an audience with the Presenters, setting back the advancement of human civilization years, if not longer – – wait, Utahoshi, have you managed to contact the Presenters while I've been dead?"

"I have not," Kengo confessed. "We're still working on it, though."

"Oh," Gamou said, looking disappointed. "Good. Keep at it. Where was I? Oh, yes. I did terrible things for the sake of my pride, and upon being made to realize the foolishness of my actions, the only way for me to atone was to sacrifice myself to bring Utahoshi back. Having given my life to give humanity another chance at the stars, why ever should I use the second chance I've been given to undo my last unselfish act when instead I can use it for the betterment of all mankind, properly this time?" He looked up at Kengo. "Utahoshi, after everything I've put you through, I have no right to ask you this… But may I fight alongside you, just this once?"

Kengo regarded him sternly for a moment, before smiling. "Chairman Gamou, I forgave you for killing me before you even did it. All of my friends have. I would be more than happy to have you fight with us… And, assuming you don't go back to being dead after this is done, join us in helping mankind reach their full potential among the stars."

Gamou stared at his former student, moved beyond words. "… Thank you, Utahoshi. I will not let you down. You… You truly are your father's son."

"Okay. Great. You want to team up with the kid you murdered. Fine. Whatever," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme groused. "Does anyone ELSE feel like jumping ship? Anyone? Anyone at all? Last chance!"

Banno raised his hand. "No! Absolutely not! You can't join us!" Mr. Belt shouted, furious.

"I wasn't planning on it, Krim," the Golden Rider sneered. "Rather, I wanted to object to young Dan here talking down to us and treating us like we are his minions."

Deboss nodded. "Indeed. I only serve one master, and he is not here."

"All of us have come closer to destroying the world than you ever have. Why should we listen to you?" Enter Unite pointed out.

The other villains murmured in agreement. "IT IS MOST ILLOGICAL," the Great Eyezer declared.

"Count Dracula serves no one," Dracula said coolly.

"Ich bin der einzige Führer! Ich verneige mich vor niemandem!" Starfish Hitler bellowed.

"Speak Japanese, we can't understand you," Gengetsu told him. Starfish Hitler sighed.

"… What is even happening right now?" Wondered a bewildered Emu.

"No clue, but this shit is great!" Parad guffawed.

Kiriya nodded. "Yeah, seeing Kuroto get taken down several pegs is always good fun."

"I'm loving this," Nico whispered in awe.

"You know, it's kind of a miracle this thing doesn't happen more often," Satsuki remarked.

"Why should you… Because I brought you all here! That's how this sort of thing works!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme yelled. "Lots of heroes get together for a big team up or reunion battle, and the main villain brings back lots of past villains to pad out his ranks so he doesn't have just a bunch of useful mooks to throw at them!"

"Yes, and whenever we're brought back to do the bidding of that imbecile, we still get beaten!" Long pointed out.

"Yeah, so maybe if we take the initiative for a change, we stand a better chance of winning!" Dokoku agreed.

"But… But!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme stammered.

Brajira put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, master! No matter what, I promise I shall stand at your side!"

"Thank you, Brajira, I appreciate that," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme thanked him, touched.

"Kuroto, you do realize that Brajira is one of the most untrustworthy villains in Super Sentai history?" Hiiro spoke up.

"He's betrayed literally every single group he's been a part of, and probably would've betrayed the Black Cross King to if he'd gotten the chance," Yayoi agreed.

"He's like Starscream, if he were a fallen angel," Jin added. "Dude has some serious chronic backstabbing disorder."

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme blinked. "Wait, what-"

Suddenly, Brajira shoved him to the ground and stomped on his back. "Kuroto Dan has fallen! I, Brajira of the Messiah, am now in command!"

"I haven't fallen, you pushed me!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme shouted, swatting at the fallen angel's foot with his blade and forcing him to take a step back, allowing him to get back up.

"My humblest apologies, master. I slipped," Brajira claimed, bowing deeply.

"No you didn't!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme argued.

"You can't prove that."

"Yes I did! Everyone saw it, right!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme screeched, looking around him for support.

"Don't drag us into this," Taiga said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, you got yourself into this mess. We don't have help you get out of it," Parad agreed.

"We can point and laugh, though," Nico said brightly. She proceeded to do just that.

"Oh for the love of… Look. You don't want to obey me? Fine!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme shouted, giving up. "You don't have to obey me! But, since you're here, and THEY are here, do you think you could maybe, I don't know, go out over there and kill your hated enemies, and after that we can hash out who's in charge or who gets the world once we are all done?"

The other villains considered this for a moment. "I suppose," Dracula said grudgingly.

"If we _must,_ " Dokoku grumbled.

"IT IS THE LOGICAL COURSE OF ACTION," the Great Eyezer pointed out.

"All things shall end in ruin. It matters little to me the path we take to get there," Dr. Maki said somberly.

"I suppose this may prove amusing," Ginis conceded.

"It certainly won't be boring," Long agreed.

"I shall be loyal to you forever!" Brajira declared. Nobody believed him.

"Gut, aber nur, wenn ich später ein paar Juden töten kann," Starfish Hitler relented. "Es gibt Juden in Japan, richtig?"

"Seriously, speak Japanese!" Gengetsu snapped. Starfish Hitler sighed.

"I'm reluctant to work for anyone again after my last boss, but I suppose you're marginally less of an idiot than he was," Enter decided.

"Since this is the only way I can begin to get revenge for my departed master, I shall submit… For now," Deboss said reluctantly.

"I shall do as you ask, but only so that I can prove myself to be a greater genius than you," Banno sneered.

"I can still play my jams, right?" Pumpkin Rapper asked. He was ignored.

"Okay. Great. We are all agreed, then?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme asked in relief, clasping his hands together. "We all do our best to kill our adversaries, and figure out what to do next after that. So! Without further ado… No, wait, hold on a second." He glanced around.

"What is it now?" Parad asked in annoyance.

"Yeah, while all these delays have been funny, I'm itching to shoot someone in the face," Nico agreed.

"Just making sure nobody shows up at the last minute and drags this out any further," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme explained. "Okay, I don't see anyone, so… Go forth, my underlings – – I mean, equal partners," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme amended quickly when the other villains glared at him. "Go forth and-"

"KAMEN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDERS!"

"DAMMIT, WHAT NOW?!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme screamed in indignation.

Atop a nearby ridge, a long-haired man in black with a long red cape and jacket and a pair of swords appeared, a horde of Shocker Combatmen at his back. "Riders! For the indignity you have inflicted upon my father, the Great Leader of Shocker, I have come to…" The man, Shocker Leader III trailed off, confused by the assortment of heroes and villains in the quarry below. "Wait, what are all these Sentai and other villains doing here? Is this another Superhero Taisen Mega crossover sort of thing? Nobody told me we were going to be having one of those!"

Brain gasped and pointed at Shocker Leader III. "You! My mortal enemy, Shocker Leader III! You've got some nerve, showing yourself in my presence, after you so cruelly murdered my mentor, Professor Crystal Peppler!"

"… I'm sorry, who are you?" Shocker Leader III asked, bewildered.

Brain scoffed. "Don't pretend you don't remember me, the courageous Rider who defeated you and ruined the plans of your master, the Leader of Mu!"

"Moo? My father isn't a cow," Shocker Leader III protested, bewildered. "Well, there was that one time he reincarnated as a Minotaur, but we don't like to talk about that-"

"No, not a cow! The evil organization Mu, of which you are a member!" Brain insisted.

The confused Shocker Leader III scratched his head with the edge of his sword. "What? The only evil organization I'm in a part of is Shocker. It's in my name. Shocker Leader III. it wouldn't exactly make sense for me to be part of another group, now would it?"

"Brain, we've been over this," said an exasperated Mr. Belt as Brain spluttered in confusion. "That was just a dream."

"YOU CAN'T PROVE THAT!"

"Right," Shocker Leader III said, deciding to just ignore Brain. "So… Which villain is in charge here, so I know who I'm supposed to team up with and/or overthrow?"

"That would be me!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme declared, pointing at himself. "Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!"

"Yeah, I'm not calling you that," Shocker Leader III said bluntly. He frowned, squinting at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. "Hold on… I recognize you!"

"Do you?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme preened, excited that someone seemed to finally recognize he's genius.

"Yeah, you're that guy who pretended to be my dad and created a fake Shocker monster!" Shocker Leader III said angrily. "He was REALLY pissed off about that!"

"… Oh, shit, nearly forgot about that," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme murmured, alarmed.

"Hey, if your father is angry at Kuroto-" Kiriya began, getting an idea.

"That's Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme interjected.

"Then don't you think he'd be happy if you helped to defeat him?" Kiriya continued slyly, ignoring Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. "I mean, even Ambassador Hell was willing to put aside his grudge with Hongo to defeat Nova Shocker that one time, so there's precedent for that sort of thing!"

"By the way, who is your mother?" Emu asked, genuinely curious.

"Ambassador Hell," Shocker Leader III said distractedly, mulling over Kiriya's suggestion. "That's… An interesting proposition. Father absolutely DESPISES heroes or the idea of working with them, but… He really, REALLY doesn't like people running around pretending to be him… And like you said, mother teamed up with Hongo that one time… Hold on, let me check."

He turned to one of his minions and started talking to its belt.

"Wait, his mother is Ambassador Hell?" Said an astonished Taiga.

"That is a mental image I did not need," Hiiro lamented. "No thank you!"

Satsuki squealed. "It's just like my fanfiction!"

"But how… They're both guys," stammered Parad.

"He could be adopted," Emu pointed out.

"Or they created him using freaky mad science," Nico suggested.

"Either way, I think it's kind of sweet! Who knew that even the dreaded Great Leader of Shocker could be a family man?" Poppy cried, delighted.

"Okay, Father says that I'm to indiscriminately try to kill all of you," Shocker Leader III declared, having finished his conversation with Great Leader. "Including the villains, for siding with Kuroto Dan."

"That's-"

"You know, we're not actually with him, he may have brought us all here, but we're not especially loyal to him or anything," Brajira said quickly.

"You said you'd be loyal to me forever!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme cried.

"I think we both know I was lying," the angel said smugly.

"And we are innocent bystanders!...Which…makes us even more appealing targets," Abrella realized slowly. "Hrrm. So that's what it feels like."

"Downside of going "straight," kid," Dogranio told him in amusement.

"Well, I suppose it's not that big a deal," Abrella rationalized. "There's no reason a private citizen can't have a few dozen robot body guards to protect him, after all."

"Or I could just destroy anyone that gets close to us," Evolt spoke up. "I could do that, you know. Given that I'm the most powerful being present, if not the strongest being on the planet. Could probably destroy the entire world if I felt like it."

"But you don't feel like it… Right?" Z asked anxiously.

"Well, not right _now_ I don't," Evolt said, not reassuring him in the slightest.

"So… Instead of joining forces with me, your going to try to kill me and everyone else here," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme reiterated.

"Precisely," said Shocker Leader III.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme threw up his hands in resignation. "Right. Of course you are. Because heaven forbid someone would actually WANT to work alongside me without having ulterior motives, being coerced, intimidated, or mind -controlled."

"We were willing to work with you against your father," Emu pointed out.

"Only because you thought you could control me!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme retorted. "And had a ready-made digital cell for me whenever I got out of line!"

"Come off it, we all know you were only working with us to get rid of your dad and Johnny Maxima so you could make your next bid for global domination,"Parad snorted, not in the least bit sympathetic. "So don't bother playing the "I only betrayed you because you never trusted me in the first place" card! It ever occur to you that the reason nobody wants to work with you is because you're a pretty awful person to be around? It's no wonder you don't have any friends and even your own henchmen have to be PROGRAMMED to help you!"

"Parad, that seems a bit harsh," Poppy chided him.

"Poppy, I basically had to live with the guy back when I was still evil," Parad pointed out. "I think I know what I'm talking about here. And besides, didn't he just try to murder you forever because you're not enough like his mother?"

Poppy fidgeted, not having an answer for that. "Yeah, well…"

"Can we not talk about that?" Emu asked uncomfortably. "I'd rather not think about how close my fiancé was to death just a little while ago."

Hiiro nodded. "A good idea. Let's start fighting already, this bit of diversion, while amusing, has gone on for too long."

"I wholeheartedly agree! And hate that I do," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme grumbled. "Okay, one last recap: my… Allies and I are going to try you and your friends while Great Leader Junior over there tries to kill everyone and Abrella, Z, Dogranio, and Evolt watch from the sidelines eating popcorn. Did I miss anything?"

Everyone informed him that he had not, though Shocker Leader III claimed that his name wasn't Great Leader Junior. "Wait, there's going to be popcorn?" Z asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I've got plenty in my safe," Dogranio said, patting the golden safe in his chest.

"And I can get some using one of my black holes," Evolt informed him.

"Oh, nice," the Emperor of Darkness said happily.

"Okay. So we're all clear," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme said, clapping his hands together. "But before we start, is there ANYONE else who feels like showing up out of the blue to help or hinder either side? Anyone at all?"

Everyone glanced around the quarry. After a few moments, it became apparent that nobody else was going to show up.

"Excellent! Then we are all here and absolutely nobody else will show up out of nowhere to ruin my carefully-laid plans anymore than they already have been," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme said optimistically.

"You do realize that there's absolutely nothing preventing someone else from showing up out of nowhere later on, right?" Taiga pointed out.

"And, given the day this has been, it's practically a guarantee that's going to happen?" Kiriya added.

" _Let me have this,"_ Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme pleaded.

"No," Kiriya said.

"You guys realize that every minute we put this off, the stronger and smarter Kuroto is going to get, right?" Emu pointed out.

"That's-"

"NOBODY CARES!" Everyone yelled at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme.

"And that's a very good point, Emu. Genius Squad! Let's dazzle them with our brilliance!" Sento declared.

"Riders of CR! Let's cure this disease at the source!" Emu shouted.

"Servants of Shocker! Go forth and die for the glory of our Great Leader!" Shocker Leader III bellowed.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" the Shocker Combatmen shrieked.

"Forces of evil, destroy all my enemies!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme commanded. The other villains glared at him. "… Please?"

And so the battle joined.

Sitting on a comfortable couch that Dogranio had taken out of his safe, watching from a safe distance, Z glanced at the Gangler boss. "When will that popcorn be ready?"

"Give me a minute, it's been a while since I've used this thing," Dogranio grunted, rummaging around in his safe. "Those darn thieves spent a year in my safe. They ruined my organizational system! Lousy punks."

Abrella had taken out a camera and had it trained on the battle. "I'm going to make SO MUCH money streaming this."

Evolt chuckled and shook his head. "Man, I missed this planet. Never a dull moment here."

…

Meanwhile, in 2068…

Across the desolate plains of Oma Zi-O's domain, as the battle for the fate of the timeline raged on, the first Rider of the Reiwa era, Kamen Rider Zero-One, had a few questions for his opponent, Kamen Rider Barlckxs.

"Okay," said Aruto Hiden, newly-minted CEO and president of Hiden Intelligence and failed comedian as he crossed blades with the Rider whose name it was unclear how to pronounce. "That Norider guy was able to clear some things up for me, and Izu was able to fill in a lot of the rest through my trans-temporal link to Zea – – not even going to think about how our communications satellite is apparently so powerful, it can work across time – – but there doesn't seem to be any data on you. Just who are you, exactly?"

Barlckxs briefly used the ability of Black RX to turn into liquid, allowing Aruto's Attache Calibur to pass right through him. "I am Kamen Rider Barlckxs, leader of the Quartzers!"

Off in the distance, the Q-Rex roared in triumph as it stood atop the dismembered corpse of one of the Dai-Mazines, the first of the various mecha to destroy one of the world-destroying robots. The heroes piloting the other robots couldn't help but feel somewhat jealous.

"We can do better than that!" Daigo Kiryu declared. "Come on, Gabutyra!"

"Yeah, come on!" Daigo's grandson, Dai-kun, echoed. "We can rampage too!"

Both dinosaur robots roared and increased their ferocity, seeking to outdo the dinosaur robot from the future.

"Yeah, that doesn't tell me anything," Aruto complained, parrying a strike from Barlckxs' Quarcane, stumbling over some debris as he took a step back.

The evil Rider lunged forward, seeking to take advantage of the opening. "Then perhaps this will mean something to you… My true name is SOUGO Tokiwa!"

All around them, wave after wave of Kasshin advanced towards the army of Riders and Sentai, who dismantled the killer robots with ease. "Is this all?" Kikai bragged, standing atop a mountain of metal corpses. "The robots of my time are much hardier than this! Give me a real challenge, why don't you!"

As if in response to his demand, Time Mazine dropped down in front of him, lasers powered up to fire. Suddenly, the energy it was gathering sputtered out, and the robot split in two.

"You really should know better than to tempt fate like that!" Shinobi called up to the chastened robot Rider, sheathing his blade.

"Iroha! How many robots must I slay to win your hand?!" Hattari demanded nearby, blade dancing as he sliced through Kasshin after Kasshin.

"None! For the last time, I'm not interested!" The kunoichi yelled angrily as she viciously stabbed her blade through a robot's chest, imagining it had Isamichi's face.

Aruto blinked in confusion and nearly got run through by his opponent's blade, barely managing to deflect it in time. "Wait… Sougo Tokiwa? But… I thought that was the name of Zi-O. And Oma Zi-O." He gasped. "Wait… Are you ANOTHER Sougo from a completely different timeline, and the other Sougo is just a body double you're using to further a scheme to conquer time?!"

SOUGO laughed. "What? No, that's stupid. I'm his son, SOUGO Tokiwa II. My followers and I are a group that's been helping manipulate the timeline to ensure my father's reign comes to pass. The Time Jackers weren't the ONLY group doing that, you see."

"Ohhhhhh," Aruto said in understanding. "So… Why do I get the impression that if your name were to be written out in English, it would be in all caps?"

SOUGO shrugged.

With a Golden Xtreme finisher, W managed to vanquish Eternal. Susan just laughed and with a wave of a hand, created another Dimensional Wall, from which a new Eternal emerged. "It's no use!" The Another Rider declared. "No matter how many times you put them down, I can just call them back!"

"No!" Tsukasa yelled, charging at him. "I won't let you continue to abuse my powers like that! It's bad enough that everyone keeps giving me hell for the 'destroyer of worlds' things, this isn't helping!"

Sparks flew as energy bullets peppered the ground in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. "Sorry, Tsukasa, but your opponent is me!" Daiki declared, stepping into view, lifting his gun towards his rival's head.

"No, it's ME!" Natsumi yelled angrily, striking the thief from behind with her blade, causing him to cry out in pain. "Tsukasa, go! I would have words with this traitor!"

"Natsumi!" Tsukasa cried in acknowledgment, before racing off to face Susan.

Daiki laughed as he turned to face Natsumi. "So, still putting on the queenly act, Natsumi? Even if it's all a lie?"

"Even if my first battle didn't go the way I thought it did, that doesn't change the fact that everything I've done since was real," Natsumi told him furiously. "I AM a queen, Daiki, in name and in deed. I shall deal with the ramifications of your deceit later. But now, it is time to administer judgment! You have betrayed us for the last time, and when I'm through with you, you will bend the knee and BEG for your life!"

Daiki cackled. "Still very full of yourself, aren't you? Let's see if I can steal some of that ego!"

He charged at her, firing his blaster.

"Wait, I thought Tsukuyomi was supposed to be the heir to the throne," the confused Aruto went on, taking shots at SOUGO with his Authorize Buster. "But how can that be the case if you're still alive?"

SOUGO's sword flashed through the air, deflecting each projectile. "I have neither my father nor my daughter's mastery of the nanomachines which grant control over time," he explained. "As such, the throne shall pass to Alpina. I do not begrudge her this, I'm just proud that my daughter is destined for such greatness.… I merely hope she is ready for, for the crown is a heavy burden to bear."

"Oh, of course," Aruto realized. "You would have to be Tsukuyomi's father, if you're Oma Zi-O's son… Well, I can sympathize. I recently inherited a massive corporation from my late grandfather, and I don't feel like I'm anywhere near ready for it. I mean, I'm just a guy who's always aspired to be comedian! What do I know about running a big business? It's a good thing I have such good friends helping me, or I'd be totally lost! I'm sure that if your daughter has people like that, she should be okay. With a great father like you supporting her, how could she not?"

Barlckxs let his guard down, Aruto having unknowingly hit upon one of his few weak spots: a doting father's need to brag about his children. "Thank you for that, young man. She does have people she can rely on, and I'm glad that you have the same. I hope she can count on her brother Sougo, I can't help being a little… Worried about him…"

Aruto blinked. "Wait… you're ALSO Sougo's father?! Don't tell me that he's his own grandfather! That just makes this whole crazy time thing even more insane!"

The air rippled and distorted as Sougo and his future self clashed blades again and again, countless timelines being created and destroyed every moment as they focused all their wills and powers against each other. "This is pointless, my younger self!" Oma Zi-O declared. "You cannot hope to prevail against me! I am you, and you are me! This fight is meaningless! It is your destiny to become me, and nothing can change that!"

"I'm not so sure of that!" Sougo growled. "You seem to have forgotten that I've brought Sentai and Riders from other times to help me! How can that be possible if I become you and take over the world?"

"Actually, after I took over the world, I left it more or less intact for several years, allowing everyone to slowly get acclimated to my rule and think everything would be okay. Then a few decades ago, I went full on tyrant and reduced the world to its current state. I wasn't happy about it, but I knew that I had to do it to set in motion a chain of events that would lead to your transformation into me, to give a resistance an excuse to rebel against me so Geiz and my granddaughter would travel back in time to meet you and start you down your path. Once this battle is over, I will restore the world to its original state… Then a few decades later, allow a robot apocalypse to happen so Kikai can be made, and once that's dealt with, I'll restore the world again, and gradually fade away until centuries later people will forget I even existed… But I will still be there, ruling unseen from the shadows…"

"Oh," Sougo said, startled. "You've… Put a lot of thought into this."

"I've had a lot of time to," Oma Zi-O told him. "It is our destiny."

From the sidelines, the two Wozes had stopped fighting and were instead watching their masters battle.

"So, which of them do you think will win?" Woz asked.

"Zi-O," Woz Beyond said without a moment's hesitation.

"Yes, but which one?" Woz pressed.

"Does it matter? They're both one and the same," Woz Beyond pointed out.

Both of them laughed, having bonded over their loyalty towards their masters, or rather, master. "You know, at first I was horrified that I might turn into you, but you don't seem that bad. And besides, it's refreshing to know that I still remain by my overlord's side, no matter what. No hard feelings if my overlord wins?"

"None, especially since it's MINE who will win instead," Woz Beyond said amiably. "After all, no matter which wins, one of us will still be there, watching over him as always. Could we ask for any less?"

"No, I suppose we couldn't," Woz agreed. "No matter what the future holds, so long as my overlord is in it, I shall be content."

They shook on it.

Geiz, however, was struggling against his counterpart, reeling from the implications of his existence. "I don't understand… How can you even be real?!" Geiz demanded, frantically trying to break through his future self's guard. "We promised not to let this happen! How could I… how could YOU screw all this up?!"

Geiz Immortal laughed, his form blurring as he sped up his personal time and attacked his younger self from multiple angles, driving him to his knees. "How could I not? If Sougo never becomes the overlord, we never come to be. We are never born. We never become a Kamen Rider. And we never get to be with the woman we love. When I was you, I was against it at first as well, but after Oma Zi-O explained things, I was able to see things his way and agree this wasn't that bad a fate. And soon you will as well."

"And soon I'll have nanomachines coursing through me that turn me evil, you mean!" Geiz snarled, staggering to his feet.

"That too," Geiz Immortal admitted with a casual shrug.

Enraged, Geiz charged him…

Only to cry out in agony as a red energy blade pierced his side. "Now that's quite enough of that," Alpina chided Geiz, coming into view, hand raised as she dissipated the blade. She hit him with a roundhouse kick, flinging him back and knocking him to the ground.

Geiz panted, clutching his ribs as he staggered to his feet. "Tsukuyomi… Why…"

Alpina sighed. "Haven't you been listening? My name is Alpina! Tsukuyomi was just a mask I wore!" She shook her head in exasperation, glancing at Geiz Immortal. "Honestly, I can't believe you were ever this stupid."

"Not a period of my life I like to think back on," Geiz Immortal agreed. "The follies of youth, am I right?"

"Tsukuyomi, please… You have to remember… You have to remember who you are!" Geiz pleaded.

Alpina snorted as she wrapped herself around Geiz Immortal. "You really don't get it, do you? There IS no Tsukuyomi! There never has been! It's always been me… Alpina, the future ruler of time! And the sooner you get that through your thick head, the sooner you can finally become the man I love!"

Geiz trembled. "No… Tsukuyomi! TSUKUYOMI!"

SOUGO laughed. "No, no, I'm not my father's father! I'm talking about my son, Sougo III, though you might know him as Susan."

"Susan… Oh! You mean the Another Decade guy!" Aruto realized.

SOUGO nodded. "Yeah. He inherited my nanomachine deficiency, which is why although he's got some considerable power over time, like all of our family, he's ineligible for the throne and his sister's going to get it instead. I hope he's able to accept it and help her in the future, but I can't help worrying jealousy might drive him down a darker path."

"Then you'll just have to be a good father to your children and teach them to rely on each other," Aruto said encouragingly. "After all, three generations of Sougo can't be anything but _sougoi_!" He pointed at SOUGO. "That's how you know it's Aruto!"

There was a long, long silence. Ryotaro ran by, screaming that his pants were on fire, as his Imagin partners chased after him with what were probably fire extinguishers. "…Eh?" SOUGO asked finally.

Aruto's shoulders slumped. "Another stinker, huh? Don't know why I'm surprised. Well, at least Izu isn't here to-"

His eyes flashed, and suddenly a holographic image of a very prim and pretty woman in a white and green uniform with high-tech devices over her ears materialized before him. "A juxtaposition of the name 'Sougo' and the word _'sugoi,'_ which can mean both 'awesome' or 'awful' depending on the context, implying that your family is-"

"IZU, I TOLD YOU TO STOP EXPLAINING THE JOKES!"

…

 **So… That happened.**

 **Okay, I know there was supposed to actually be a fight this chapter, and I was planning on there being a big battle, but as the introductions, character interactions, and all-around mocking of** **Transcendent** **Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme** **went on for a bit longer than I expected, I decided to move the fighting over to another chapter rather than make this one any longer than it already was. Sorry about that. Still, at least this chapter was amusing… Right?**

 **And certainly better than any of a certain president's jokes…**

 **Anyway, tune in next time for the real second phase of the final battle!**


	40. Boss Rush 1: Juken Fighters vs Long

So…yeah. Phase 2 took longer than I thought. A LOT longer. Too long to be one chapter, two, or even three. So, I decided, the heck with it, and split up each miniboss fight into its own chapter. Now you can read the whole thing bit by bit in fun, bite-sized chapters! The fact that this may also garner me more reviews is totally irrelevant.

So buckle up, because this is where things get even WEIRDER.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me

…

Abrella released his camera into the air. Since it was a drone, it floated a bit before swiveling around to point its lens at its master. "Greetings and bienvenu, viewers! Welcome to the first episode of what I have tentatively decided to call 'Weather Fourcast.' I'm your host, Abrella of Rain. For those who recognize that name, first off, let me assure you that rumors of my death were NOT exaggerated, I really did die, but I returned from beyond the grave and have no intention of going back there anytime soon. Second of all, I'd like to make it clear that I'm completely and 100% reformed and intend to go straight. From now on, all of my resources and wealth will be poured into legitimate business ventures. To all my former associates and customers, I'm sure this may come as a disappointment to you, but I promise you that if you click the link provided with this video to my new site on the extranet, I'm sure you'll be able to find something completely legal and non-criminal that might catch your fancy… Whoops, I do believe I provided the link for my OLD site on the dark web by mistake! Haha, how silly of me, do ignore that link, that site should be dead by now and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for anyone to want to check it out. None whatsoever. And they certainly won't get any discounts for making any day-one purchases to celebrate my resurrection! After all, that would be positively _criminal_."

Evolt snorted. "Smooth, Abrella. When you roped us into taking part in this, you didn't say it was going to be a damn advertisement for your new/old business!"

The former arms dealer ignored him. "Oh, but where's my head? I forgot to introduce you to my co-hosts! First, say hi to the Emperor of Darkness, Z! While he may look dark and gloomy, he's proof positive that there's always a rainbow waiting after the storm! Z, say hello to our audience!" Abrella cried, the camera turning to focus on Z.

The Emperor of Darkness waved tentatively. "Um… Hi? Gritta, if you can see this, then I want you to tell Morc that I'm okay and I'm sorry I disappeared all the sudden in the middle of court. I'm okay and hanging out with my new friends, so there's no need to mobilize the troops or go to war with anyone. If anything she should be happy, since she's always telling me I need to get out more and meet new people. I'll try to be home in time for dinner… Hey, you guys want to come over? I'm sure we can find something for to eat that isn't made of pure darkness."

"We'll see," Dogranio said vaguely.

The camera pointed at the Gangler leader next. "And over here we have the venerable Elder Dogranio Yaboon, who hasn't let being in his sunset years put his life of crime behind him just yet! Viewers, please do not emulate him or try anything he suggests at home. That would be a crime, and not something a law-abiding citizen such as myself should ever do!"

Dogranio frowned. "Abrella, is it really a good idea to be broadcasting this? I kind of just got broken out of prison, and I don't exactly want the cops showing up to put me back there."

Abrella grinned. "A better question, Dogranio: how many more views do you think we'll get if the police arrive and get sucked into the chaos?"

Dogranio burst into laughter. "Ha! Good point. I withdraw my objection. And if any of my fellow Ganglers are watching this… Where the hell have you been?! I've been stuck in that prison for YEARS waiting to die, and not ONE of you schmucks tried to rescue me! After everything I've done for you ungrateful punks, THIS is how you repay me?! All of you better get back to the mansion on the double and don't even THINK of leaving until I get back, because you and I are going to have some words! And if any of you aren't there when I return, consider yourselves dead men walking." He paused to take a breath. "Oh, and to the brave phantom thieves and members of the global police responsible for putting me away… I suggest you start looking over your shoulders, because I'm coming for you. And things will NOT be pretty when I get my hands on you."

Evolt cackled. "Oh man, that sounds like fun! Wish I could be a fly on the wall when that happens. Actually, I probably could be, come to think of it…"

The camera turned to look at Evolt. "And everyone say hello to our final cohost, Evolt, last known member of the infamous Blood Tribe! There's a sure forecast of death, destruction, and black holes whenever he's on your planet! Evolt, do you have anything you'd like to say to our viewers?" Abrella asked the destroyer of worlds.

Evolt waved amiably at the camera. "First off, Abrella, let me just say that this is an incredibly stupid idea and I'm loving every second of it. Second… Hello, universe! The only reason most of you are still out there is because I haven't gotten around to killing you yet. But don't worry, I'll get around to eating your planets eventually. In fact, I'm more than happy to make a personal appearance! Just leave me your coordinates in your comments and I'll be over as soon as I can to devour your world and kill everyone you love."

"Evolt, do you really think anyone will actually follow you up on that offer?" Z asked doubtfully.

Evolt laughed at the Emperor's naïveté. "Kid, you'd be astonished how many people write to me asking me to destroy their planet. Serial killers aren't the only ones who get crazy fan clubs!"

"Also joining us today is our special musical guest, up-and-coming DJ, Pumpkin Rapper!" Abrella continued. The camera pivoted to focus on Pumpkin Rapper, who'd set up a turntable, subwoofers, and a rather impressive musical rig covered in pumpkins and Halloween decorations. "And those who are wondering, yes, he IS taking requests!"

Pumpkin Rapper waved at the camera. "Yo, but only songs about pumpkins or Halloween! Gotta stay on brand, and not do anything in between!"

The camera hovered back and zoomed out to capture all four villains on the couch. "We are streaming this live from the side of what we have decided to call 'Ultra Super-Duper Quiz Hero Taisen X,' where various heroes and villains from Super Sentai and Kamen Rider have gathered to battle for the fate of the Earth!" The camera swiveled around to peer out at the rest of the quarry, where Sentai and Riders were clashing with monsters all over the place. "We'll be providing you with live footage of this epic showdown, along with informative and entertaining color commentary to make this fun for all ages! And if this test run goes well, you can expect more like this in the future, so don't forget to like, favorite, and subscribe!"

"So, gentlemen, which fight should we spy on first?" Dogranio queried.

"Hey, how about those ladies fighting the shiny Dragon man?" Z suggested, pointing at Miki and Satsuki, the latter of whom had changed into her Beast Gamer form, who were fighting Long. "So shiny…"

"You probably don't want to get anywhere near that shine, Z," Abrella warned the Emperor. "According to my sources, Long is an EXTREMELY evil and completely immortal Dragon who has tried to destroy the world for millennia solely out of boredom."

"Meh, I've heard of worse reasons to destroy a planet," Evolt commented, unimpressed.

"I once destroyed a world because it's color reminded me of an ex-girlfriend," Dogranio recalled. "She was a real bitch."

Long cackled as he punched and kicked in the air, his golden aura flaring up and hurling bolts of lightning from his fists and feet at Satsuki and Miki. "It's been so long since I've been able to stretch like this!" The wicked Dragon laughed, cracking his neck and stomping the ground, releasing a massive explosion of golden energy that blasted the two martial artists back. "Once I kill the two of you for a warm up, I will hunt down and kill those Gekirangers for imprisoning me twice… And make sure there will not be a third time!"

"Then we shall simply have to slay you so that you pose no threat to our world ever again!" Satsuki declared.

Long laughed. "You can't! I'm completely immortal!"

"Then it's a good thing Miki has figured out a way to neutralize that!" Satsuki bragged.

"No I haven't," Miki corrected her.

"Wait, really?" Satsuki asked her in surprise, doing a double-take.

Miki nodded. "I've been looking for years, but found no way to kill him. He's completely immortal."

"Oh…well, then it's a good thing you know the sealing technique, so we can re-imprison him!" Satsuki cried, quickly rallying.

"I don't know the sealing technique. It requires knowledge of Rinjūken, which I've never learned," Miki informed her.

"What! Why not?!" Satsuki demanded.

"Maybe because the only people who actually knew how to teach it properly are dead?" Miki snapped. "At least I have a legitimate excuse for not knowing how to do it, unlike you, who have been neglecting your training!"

"Fair point," Satsuki conceded.

Long laughed, forming a bow out of Golden energy. "Ladies, while I find this all very amusing… Die." He started firing energy arrows from his bow, the projectiles streaking through the air and causing eruptions of golden energy whenever they hit the ground, buffeting the two martial artists.

"Okay, we should probably focus on beating him," Satsuki admitted, her superhuman reflexes allowing her to catch an arrow out of the air and fling it to the side, where it exploded.

"How? As has already been pointed out, he's totally immortal!" Miki pointed out, cartwheeling through the air to evade more arrows.

"Then we just have to hurt him so badly he WISH he could die!" Satsuki declared, charging towards Long.

The dragon cackled and fired more arrows at her, but Satsuki didn't even bother dodging, punching them out of the air with her inhuman reflexes. Unworried, the immortal focused his energy, generating a massive construct of golden energy resembling a dragon which snaked across the ground, jaws opening wide to devour Satsuki. Satsuki's aura quickly flared up before the construct's jaws could slam shut around her, wedging herself in its mouth and struggling to hold it open. Long laughed and increased the dragon's energy, seeking to crush her…

And so failed to notice the golden energy leopard lunging towards him until it was too late. He cried out in alarm as the feline construct clawed at his face, distracting him and causing the dragon attacking Satsuki to dissipate. With an angry swipe of his hand, he destroyed the leopard, just in time to see Miki launching herself towards him in a flying kick. He caught her by the foot, spun around, and flung her at Satsuki, who'd been charging at him from behind.

Miki flipped in the air, did a handspring off of the Rider's shoulders, and lunged back at the dragon at the same time as Satsuki launched into a sliding kick. Long sidestepped to avoid the kick, spinning into a roundhouse kick of his own at Satsuki's face at the same time as he fired a golden energy blast at Miki. The golden Gekiranger was blasted out of the air, but Satsuki caught Long's foot by the ankle and twisted, flipping him over her shoulder and onto his back as she pivoted through the air and dropped a heel towards his face.

Long twisted his head out of the way just in time, the foot smashing into the ground and sending bits of stone flying. He drove a palm into her groin, causing her to gasp in pain, then backflipped onto his feet, clotheslining her as he went and snapping her head back. Miki suddenly leapt onto his back, snarling as she wrapped her legs around his waist and drove her claws into his shoulder. Long immediately fell onto his back to crush her, but Satsuki recovered and capitalized on this to flip into the air and drive a fist at his jugular.

The multiple dragon heads on Long's chest suddenly opened their jaws and roared, firing tiny jets of flame which combined into a tremendous conflagration which caught Satsuki full in the chest and sent her back, flying, flames trailing from her form. He ignited his aura, causing Miki to cry out in pain as it burned her and pushed her further into the ground, causing her to loosen her grip. He jumped to his feet, laughing in amusement as Miki pulled herself out of the ground and Satsuki rolled about to put out the flames before standing back up. "You still wish to fight? How adorable."

He hurled lightning bolts at their feet, knocking them back. "I think it's time I show you just how outmatched you REALLY are. Mystic Body Overpowering Heavenly Charge!" He made a series of hand motions.

His aura exploded in golden light, and Long grew… And grew… And grew… And GREW, until he was almost 60 meters tall, cackling in deranged glee as he stared down at the horrified martial artists.

"Whoa, whoa! Hold on!" Z cried, shocked. "Foul! He's not supposed to do that!"

Dogranio nodded. "Yeah, monsters aren't supposed to get bigger until AFTER they've been beaten the first time! He's breaking protocol doing it this early!"

"… He's a bad guy. Why the hell should he care about following protocol?" Asked a confused Evolt.

Dogranio waved a hand dismissively. "You're a Rider monster. You guys don't have giant forms. You wouldn't understand."

Z nodded in agreement. "There's a way these things are supposed to go, and Long isn't doing it."

"Seriously?" Evolt asked incredulously.

"They're exaggerating slightly, but… Yes, that IS generally how this sort of thing goes," Abrella told the other alien. "Granted, most Alienizers don't have the ability to become giants, which is where my Heavy Industrial Machines come in." He turned to the camera. "That is to say, the Heavy Industrial Machines I USED to sell for illicit gain, but are now only to be used for beneficial, law-abiding purposes. Check out my website for a full listing of my stock of mecha at reasonable prices! The fact that they still resemble weapons of mass destruction is merely a coincidence and if you should somehow get it into your head to use them to commit mass mayhem, well, that's on you and I cannot legally be held responsible."

"Is the product placement really necessary?" Evolt complained.

"I'm trying to make this stream profitable and rebuild my finances, which have rather badly languished due to my being dead for several years, so yes, Evolt, it is," Abrella snapped.

Long laughed maniacally at the sight of the tiny martial artists beneath him. "No matter what size I am at, mortals, you're nothing but insects to an immortal being such as myself… So let me show you what I do to insects!"

Raising his foot, he stomped it down on Satsuki and Miki…

Only to feel some resistance. "Eh?"

Confused, he pushed down harder… And much to his surprise, felt something push _back_. "What… How are you…"

Satsuki, aura blazing so brilliantly she was nearly invisible in the silver corona, grit her teeth, every muscle in her body strained to the breaking point as she used all of her might to try and keep the dragon's colossal foot from crushing them. "No matter what size you are, immortals such as yourself always underestimate what we mortals are capable of!" She hissed through clenched teeth, sweat rolling down her face and fogging up the interior of her mask.

"Perhaps we are just insects to you… But you forget, insects can still sting!" Miki cried, aura blazing as she powered herself up. "Leopard-Fist Gekiwaza: Pierce-Pierce Palm!"

Shouting kiais, she struck the underside of Long's foot with several hundred super-fast supercharged palm strikes, bursts of golden ki flaring from each point of impact as the energy from her strikes pierced the dragon's armor, stinging his heel.

Yelping in surprise, Long instinctively raised his foot, then started flailing his arms wildly as he tried to regain his balance.

Miki had no intention of letting him regain that balance. "Leopard-Fist Gekiwaza: Twice-Twice Clone Fist!"

Her aura once again manifested in the form of a mechanical leopard, but grew bigger and more solid, enveloping her as it transformed into a real giant robot leopard, the mighty GekiLeopard. Snarling, the leopard lunged at the off-balance Long, tackling him to the ground and ferociously clawing and biting at him.

"Get… OFF!" Long roared, flinging the mechanical Leopard off of him with a swing of his arm. "Fool! Do you truly think a single mecha is enough to defeat me?!"

"No… But perhaps this might!"

"Eh?" Long glanced up, just in time to see Satsuki, who had jumped off of Miki's leopard, descending towards him, fist crackling with energy.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ BEAST FIST CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

With a cry of fury, Satsuki punched the gigantic Long in the face with enough force that it caved in, his head exploding in a blast of gold and silver ki. Satsuki kept on going, hitting the ground fist-first hard enough to crater it as behind her, Long's headless body collapsed and exploded. "Let's see you come back from that."

"Too late!"

"What-"

Satsuki was cut off in a cry of pain as Long, once more human-sized and fully regenerated, struck her in the small of the back hard enough to break her spine. She flew several feet from the force of the blow before rolling limply across the ground, limbs flailing like a ragdoll before she came to a halt before the feet of the alarmed Miki, who had transformed back from her giant robot form. "Satsuki!" The scientist cried, crouching down beside Satsuki and quickly applying ki to her back to hasten the healing process. Satsuki, unable to move, unable to feel _anything_ thanks to the neural damage that had just been inflicted on her, simply lay there, dazed.

"What part of 'completely immortal' is so hard to understand?!" Long demanded, seeming more annoyed than truly angry. He shook his head in disgust. "This isn't even fun anymore. I'm bored. You're boring. I'm going to kill you then find someone more interesting to fight."

He extended a hand, golden energy coalescing into a ball of destruction. "Dis-"

"CHAMELEON-FIST SECRET RINGI: NULL-EXTINGUISH WAVE!"

Suddenly, a silver whip lashed out, striking Long over a dozen times at various points on his body, green ki flaring up from each impact. Long gasped, muscles spasming as the energy ball he had been forming dissipated… And more gold started emerging from a rather… Lower part of his body.

"… Is… Is he…" Z asked slowly, stunned, as were his couchmates.

"I… Guess so," said Evolt, not sure whether to be amused or disgusted.

"Should… Should we be streaming this part?" Dogranio asked in concern.

"Don't worry, it's being censored out," Abrella assured him. "Aside from those who are willing to pay a little extra to see the uncensored version, of course."

"Why would anyone want to see the uncensored version?" Asked the bewildered Z.

Evolt shook his head sadly and put a hand on the Emperor's shoulder. "I'm guessing you don't surf the Internet with safe search off, do you?"

"Morc won't let me," Z admitted. "I don't get what the big deal is. I'm a grown man now. I'm married and everything!"

"And have the two of you…ah… Consummated your union, by any chance?" Dogranio asked awkwardly.

"That's none of your business!" Z snapped.

As the silver whip withdrew from the thoroughly humiliated Long, it struck several spots on Satsuki's back, causing pulses of green energy to wash throughout her body. The martial artist gasped as ki flowed through her chakras, reattaching nerve endings, repairing her spine, and wiping away a tumor that had been forming in her liver, unknown to all.

That was the good news. The bad news was she was now capable of actually _feeling_ how much her spine getting broken in the first place hurt, and she made all present aware of how much it hurt, very loudly.

Ignoring her friend's screams, Miki gasped, immediately recognizing the whip as it retracted into the mouth of a woman standing nearby, clad in green armor resembling a chameleon wielding two sais, a man in black and gold armor resembling a lion standing beside her. "No… It can't be…!"

"As purely fierce as a lion, as powerful as a lion. The one who will obliterate the Evil Dragon, I am the Black Lion Rio!" The armored man roared.

The chameleon woman twirled her daggers. "For Lord Rio's love I live, for Lord Rio's love I fight! I am his love warrior. Rinjū Chameleon-Fist Mistress, Mele!"

"Rio… Mele!" The astonished Miki cried. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be… Well…"

Rio chuckled. "Dead? Oh, we still are."

"We can basically waltz in and out of the afterlife whenever we want," Mele explained. "They _really_ wanted us to stop beating up the guardians whenever we felt like taking a visit back Earth so decided to stop trying to stop us coming and going as we please."

"The minute we sensed Long's presence, we rushed over," Rio explained. "As we always shall, whenever that wicked dragon rears his many heads! I cannot rest in the afterlife, so long as that monster rooms free!"

"And I cannot rest so long as Rio is dissatisfied, so I am here as well," Mele explained.

"And I'd really like to pass out right now from the amount of pain I'm in, but I'm pretty sure I'm needed too much to do so," Satsuki moaned. Mele's tongue shot out again and hit another point on her back. Satsuki moaned in bliss, her body sagging. "Okay, that's better."

"Who are these clowns? More Sentai?" Dogranio asked Abrella.

"Sort of. They technically qualify as "extra heroes,"" Abrella explained. "Warriors who are _like_ Sentai, but aren't exactly, depending on how you define it."

"Like there are monsters or other guys who are _like_ Riders, without actually being Riders?" Evolt asked.

"Precisely," Abrella replied, pleased Evolt understood. "They used to be adversaries of the Gekirangers, until they discovered they were being manipulated by Long to destroy the world. They gave their lives trying to stop him. They failed, but were able to give the real heroes the tools they needed to finish the job."

"He doesn't look very finished to me," Dogranio grunted.

"It's difficult to kill an immortal. Perhaps they've come up with something while they've been in the great beyond?" Abrella speculated.

"If you're here, then that means you can stop Long!" Miki said excitedly as Satsuki pulled herself to her feet. "You know the sealing technique! You taught it to the others!"

"You are correct in that we know the technique," Rio confirmed. "However…"

"We can't perform it," Mele confirmed, apologetically.

"What?! Why not?!" Miki demanded.

"The Wailing Ball technique requires three high-level Rinjūken practitioners," Rio explained. "Unfortunately, there's only two of us. Unless either of you happen to know Rinjūken?"

"We… Do not," Satsuki confessed. "Does that mean you can't help us defeat him?"

"What about that pressure point technique you just used?" Miki pressed. "Can't you just keep doing that?"

Mele shook her head. "It's only a temporary measure, especially against one such as Long. Fortunately, we have a better idea."

"In the afterlife, we conversed and trained with many masters, including the great Bruce Ee, creator of Jūken," Rio explained. "We learned many things, and came to a greater understanding of the way Jūken works."

"GekiJūken and RinJūken are like yin and yang, equal and opposite forces which not only oppose each other… But can complement each other as well," Mele went on. "If we were to combine our powers, we would be able to perform a new sealing technique, one even stronger than the Wailing Ball, a prison from which Long will never, EVER be able to escape."

"That… That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Miki cried, amazed.

"What do we need to do?" Satsuki asked.

"We will show you the motions you must perform to properly channel the energy necessary to perform the technique," Rio told the women. "We only have time to show you once, so be sure to memorize it perfectly."

"And when you use the technique on Long, make sure you are in the right state of mind," Mele continued. "Jūken flows from the heart, and is fueled by your emotions. In our case, the desire to crush Long beneath our heels and make him suffer for all he's done to us. In yours…"

"The desire to protect those close to us from him," Satsuki realized. "Such as Mizuki, and my master."

"And my friends, my master, and my daughter," Miki agreed. "Yes… I believe I understand. Show us the technique!"

Rio and Mele performed a series of hand motions followed by a stance, finishing by thrusting their right palms forward. They went slowly, so that Satsuki and Miki could see it properly. Both women were expert martial artists, and so were able to take in and memorize the forms in a matter of moments. "I think we've got it," Satsuki told the RinJūken warriors.

"And just in time, too, I think my acupressure technique has worn off," Mele observed as Long finally managed to stop his spasming, gasping and grunting as he managed to stop the golden flow from his… Lower body.

"Never…" The immortal dragon growled, quaking in rage. "NEVER have I been so humiliated! Your deaths shall be worse than you could possibly imagine! Hell, they'll be worse than _I_ can possibly imagine!"

"We have died before. We aren't particularly worried," Rio said casually.

"The pearly gates have more or less become a revolving door for us by now," Mele agreed.

"You, on the other hand, may wish that you are capable of death once we're finished," Miki taunted.

In unison, the four martial artists began performing the technique. "That form… It looks familiar, but… No!" Long gasped in horror, realizing what they were about to do. "NO! Not again! _Never again_!"

Getting into their stances, the four warriors thrust their right palms forward, bodies glowing with black, green, gold, and silver auras. "Beast Fist Art: Howling Ball!"

Energy beams of black, green, gold, and silver ki shot from their extended palms towards the Dragon.

"NO! I'M NOT GOING BACK! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!" Long screamed, golden aura blasting out around him as he thrusted his hands forward, firing a colossal beam of ki at the four warriors, splitting the earth and sending rocks and bits of debris flying everywhere. The beam transformed into the projection of a fearsome dragon, the beast's mouth opening wide to swallow up the four smaller beams…

Which pierced the dragon's maw, tearing the construct apart like scissors through tissue paper, the beams spiraling around each other and coalescing to form a single multicolored energy blast. The blast slammed into Long, a giant yin-yang symbol flashing through the air as a spherical barrier formed around the Dragon and started compressing rapidly.

"NO! NO! I CANNOT STAND THE ETERNAL DARKNESS!" Long screamed, desperately pounding and blasting away at the swiftly shrinking sphere, his body shifting from his armored form to a monstrous golden dragon, to a man in golden robes, and back again. "Let me out!" He wailed as the orb grew smaller and smaller. "LET ME OUT! LET ME-"

He was cut off as the sphere solidified into a tiny ball resembling a spherical yin-yang with an even smaller lion and chameleon engraved on one half, and a leopard and viper on the other.

"Once again, Long is sealed," Rio declared, crossing his arms in satisfaction.

"I think his new prison is even smaller than the last one!" Mele chirped.

"I do not believe he will be escaping from there anytime soon," Satsuki commented. "Thank you for your help, both of you."

"I suppose you be heading back, now that Long is beaten once again?" Miki asked the duo.

The couple glanced at each other, then shook their heads. "I sense other strong warriors here. I would not mind testing my strength against them," Rio decided.

Mele happily wrapped herself around her lover. "And wherever Rio-sama goes, so do I!"

"Your help shall be greatly appreciated," Satsuki told them, Mele's embrace of Rio fondly reminding her of her own relationship with Mizuki.

"And I think our first opponents have found us!" Miki observed, noticing that Shocker Combatmen had surrounded them.

Rio scoffed, unimpressed. "These weaklings are unworthy of my time. but, I suppose they will serve as a warm up."

Mele cackled as she twirled her sais. "Die, fools, as a fitting sacrifice for our love!"

Crying out, the four warriors charged the minions. The poor fools had no idea what hit them.

...

 **STAGE CLEAR**

 **CONTINUE?**


	41. Boss Rush 2: Lazer Turbo vs Dokoku

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Well, dear viewers, I think we've seen enough of those Beast Fist martial artists for the time being," Abrella spoke up as the camera zoomed out. "And if any of you were interested in the design of the Howling Ball, you're in luck! I've just commissioned a line of replicas that can be sold as an accessory, so you too can walk around pretending that you're carrying the prison of an ancient immortal evil around your neck! Order now, and we'll throw in a replica of the older Wailing Ball seal sphere for half-price!"

"What a bargain," Dogranio said dryly.

"What's so bad about eternal darkness? That's basically where I live," Z commented.

"Yeah, but at least you aren't stuck in a teeny-tiny prison," Evolt replied. "Despite my more-or-less complete lack of empathy, I find myself sympathizing slightly with Long. I, too, know what it's like to be sealed away in a rather small object for eons. And let me tell you, it's not fun. Especially when you're crammed in there with three other people. We were thoroughly sick of each other by the time those astronauts found us, which may be part of why they betrayed me and I didn't bother telling them about my plans to destroy the universe."

"At least you weren't chained to a pillar with machine guns pointed at you," Dogranio grunted.

Evolt rolled his eyes. "Oh please, at least you got to _breathe_! And it's not like they were starving you…"

"Starvation might have been better than the slop that they force-fed me," Dogranio grumbled.

"With Long defeated, shall we check in on one of our other fighters?" Abrella suggested brightly to change the subject. "Let's see… Oh, how about that one over there?"

"The guy in weird samurai armor fighting a monster that looks like a Japanese spiny lobster?" Z asked, squinting as he tried to see who Abrella was pointing at. "… And now I'm finding myself craving one for some reason."

"Hang on, I think I might have some left over, assuming those thieves didn't eat all of my stock," Dogranio grunted, opening his safe and rummaging through it.

"I wouldn't recommend eating this spiny lobster, Z," Abrella advised the young emperor. "That's Dokoku Chimatsuri, dreaded leader of the tribe of monsters known as Gedoushu who reside in the Sanzu River in the underworld. Not only is he an extremely nasty piece of work who is more or less an embodiment of wrath, considering that the waters of his native habitat are at least a thousand times more toxic than the deadliest poison on this planet, I'm fairly certain he's inedible for most beings."

"I can generate poisons worse than that," Evolt bragged, unimpressed.

The camera turned away from the martial artists tearing through the Shocker henchmen and focused on Kiriya, who had changed to his Samurai Gamer form and was engaged in a vicious sword fight with Dokoku. Sparks flew as their blades crashed again and again, Kiriya's zanbato burning brighter and brighter with each rapid tap of one of the buttons on its hilt. The ground around them was covered in fires created from embers cast off by Kiriya's massive blade, but if Dokoku showed any discomfort from the flames, he didn't show it.

In fact, he seemed more amused than anything else. "You call yourself a samurai?" Dokoku snarled, his Shōryū Bakuzantō rising at the same time as his Kōryū Gaiseitō descended, both of them smashing into Kiriya's sword hard enough that he could feel the impact all the way down to his ankles.

"Well, if the armor fits," Kiriya retorted, swinging a flaming slash at Dokoku's side.

The warlord easily deflected the blade and lashed out the moment the Rider's guard was broken, cutting into his chest and causing him to stagger back, crying in pain as sparks flew. "Please! You don't have the bloodline!" He charged energy into one of his swords and swung it out in a crescent, sending a tremendous crimson energy blade slicing through the air at Kiriya.

Kiriya swept his sword upward, his flaming slash cutting the blade in two and causing it to explode another side of him. "I dunno, I've heard tell that one of my ancestors might have been one. And even then, bloodlines aren't everything. I mean, it's not like Genta Umemori has a samurai lineage, but that didn't stop him from becoming a Shinkenger. "

"You don't have the training!" Dokoku's eyes flashed, and explosions erupted out of the ground in a chain towards Kiriya.

The Rider dodged to the side and charged towards Dokoku, dragging his zanbato on the ground behind him and leaving a trail of fire in his wake. "My Gashat seems to have that covered!"

He jumped into the air and twirled about, raising his giant sword over his head to bring it down in a tremendous chop…

Only for Dokoku to casually catch it in one hand. "You don't have the skill!" Dokoku roared, charging energy into his other hand and slamming it into Kiriya's chest, blasting him back in a scarlet explosion that wrenched the zanbato from his hand.

"Okay," Kiriya coughed as he hit the ground and struggled to pick himself up. "You got me there."

Dokoku callously tossed the zanbato to the side, drew both his swords, and charged energy into them. "You don't even have the mojikara!" With a roar, he lashed out with both blades, creating a massive blazing cross of crimson energy which rushed across the ground towards Kiriya…

Who smirked. "Well, about that…"

He raised his Bugvisor II, the kanji for "shield" on the screen. He pressed a button, and the kanji glowed before emerging from the screen, enlarging tremendously and placing itself in front of the cross's path. The cross slammed into it, red and yellow energy crackling all over the place and tearing up the ground, before both exploded, smaller kanji flying all over the place.

Dokoku did a double-take. "What?! How did you-"

"The thing is, I'm not the only samurai who doesn't have a natural gift for mojikara," Kiriya informed the leader of the Gedoushu. "Genta Umemori, ShinkenGold, invented electronic mojikara, which in theory can be used by anyone with a decent enough smart phone or other high-tech device. When he started having trouble making sales with his sushi cart, he got the bright idea to invent an app which could allow ANYONE to use electronic mojikara, and I got the idea to download it as soon as I got to see the power of mojikara in action when I was fighting against Motors. Now, most people don't have the aptitude to do much with it other than basic party tricks… But I figured that if I tried to use that app when I was using the Gashat the Shinkengers gave me, I'd be able to use its full potential. And what do you know, I was right!"

"… That is an incredibly brilliant idea for an app," said the impressed Dogranio.

"Too bad you didn't think of it first, Abrella, I'm sure there are all sorts of ways you could've used it for evil," Evolt commented.

Abrella laughed. "Don't be silly, Evolt, I would never do such a thing anymore, seeing as how I am no longer evil!"

"Then why are you downloading the app on your tablet?" Z asked.

"For the sake of curiosity," Abrella said innocently. " _Certainly_ not so I can see if it can be duplicated and exploited for criminal ends. After all, that would be _wrong_."

Dokoku scoffed. "And I'm supposed to be intimidated by this? Even with this little technological shortcut, you are nowhere near skilled enough to defeat me. I have slain dozens of samurai far more experienced than you! It took six samurai who had trained for _years_ to master their skills to vanquish me the last time I walked the Earth! What makes you think you can do any better than they?"

"I don't, actually," Kiriya admitted. "But I can certainly do this."

He drew the kanji for "split" on his Bugvisor II and pressed a button. The kanji rose off the screen, growing larger as it spun through the air towards Dokoku. The Gedoushu warlord snarled and swiped at the kanji with one of his blades, splitting it in half… But since it was the character for "split" it didn't really affect it at all, and the two halves of the symbol slammed into his body, causing him to glow for a moment.

Perplexed, Dokoku looked himself over, but could see no change. "Ha! It didn't-"

He hesitated, his stomach gurgling. "Ugh… I don't feel… So…BLAUUUUUUUUUURGGGGGGGGGGH!"

He doubled over, vomiting out a stream of reddish liquid which splattered all over the ground. "Ugh…" He groaned, wiping his mouth as he straightened up. "Was… That supposed to do anything? I've had hangovers that have made me throw up worse than that! What was the point of-"

He was cut off when the pool of liquid he'd thrown up rippled and started pulling together, coalescing and building up on itself into a feminine form. With a splash, the liquid solidified into the figure of a woman resembling some sort of mix between a futakuchi-onna, Benzaiten, a sea slug, and several other mollusks. "Dayu?!"

Dayu Usakawa looked around in confusion, blinking with watery eyes as she struggled to confront what was going on around her. "I… I am alive? What… What am I doing here?"

"Okay, will someone please explain to me why that guy just threw up a chick?" A confused Evolt asked.

"That woman, Dayu, is Dokoku's most loyal servant," Abrella explained, checking his tablet. "After he fell into a coma due to overexerting himself in a fight against the Shinkengers before he was truly ready to face them, she sacrificed herself to wake him up and allowed him to absorb her so that he could regain his full power, and then some."

"Oh, like how my wife ate me on our wedding day so she could take my powers, and then I ate her from inside so I could inherit her 'shine,'" Z realized. Everyone stared at him. "She got better," he said defensively. "It's become one of those things that we look back on and laugh about. Like the time I killed her mother and sort-of-boyfriend. Both of whom, just to be clear, are also better now. And don't hold grudges. I think."

"… Right," Evolt said finally, not sure how to respond to that. "Wouldn't have taken you for the sort of guy would be into vore, Z."

"What?! That's… I wasn't… It wasn't like that!" Z spluttered in protest as Evolt burst into hysterical laughter.

"I've killed a few of my mother-in-laws… I'm GLAD they never got better," Dogranio recalled.

"Did you kill your wives, too?" Abrella asked, sounding more curious than judgmental.

"Only one," Dogranio said defensively. "The others died or left due to… Other reasons. Being married to a crime boss isn't easy."

"Any kids?" Evolt asked.

"If I had any left, do you think I'd have set up a contest to see which of my subordinates would be my successor?" Dogranio replied. He sighed wearily, looking uncharacteristically remorseful. "Being the boss has its price."

Abrella nodded sympathetically. "My line of work hasn't always been easy for my family, either. There have been more than a few assassinations and suspicious deaths caused by rivals or people trying to get revenge on me by proxy."

Everyone stared at him in astonishment. "You have a family?!" Z demanded, incredulous.

Abrella nodded. "Oh yes, my successful business ventures made me quite a catch back on Rain, since most of us have little regard for galactic law or the space police and take pride in being criminals. I have quite a few wives and children. Hopefully they've been taken care of, as per my instructions in the event of my death… If not, there shall certainly be hell to pay when I get home…"

"Gritta and I have been trying for kids for a while," Z confessed, more than a little envious. "We… Haven't had much luck…"

"Banjo is my kid, even if he says otherwise," Evolt said proudly.

"NO I'M NOT!" Ryuga yelled from below.

"Love you too, son!" Evolt shouted back, laughing hysterically at the cries of frustrated anguish that ensued.

"What do you think you accomplished by removing Dayu from me?" Dokoku asked with a snort as the female Ayakashi staggered to her feet, still looking bewildered and out of sorts. "I didn't absorb her for her power. I'm still plenty strong enough to kill you."

"You're right, you didn't absorb Dayu to become stronger," Kiriya agreed. "But you _did_ absorb her to remove your weaknesses." He grinned. "Did it ever occur to you to wonder why I was so adamant on hitting you with flaming attacks instead of just bashing you with the zanbato the regular way?"

Dokoku blinked, perplexed. "What do you-"

And that's when several patches of his skin, specifically those that Kiriya had managed to actually hit or get close to with his blade, turned gray and started cracking up. "No…" Dokoku realized in dismay as the grayness spread and the cracks grew wider. "My skin… It's drying up! This was your plan all along?!"

"Yep," Kiriya replied, looking pleased with himself. "I just love it when a good scheme comes together."

"Dokoku! Quickly, you have to absorb me again!" Dayu cried, rushing towards her master.

"Nope! None of that, now!" Kiriya declared, drawing the kanji for "repel" on his Bugvisor II and flicking it at Dayu.

She glowed as the symbol was absorbed into her body, and the instant she got within a few feet of Dokoku, an invisible force suddenly shoved him back. "What? What just happened?!" Dokoku demanded.

"I don't understand," Dayu said confusion, taking another step towards Dokoku, only for him to be pushed back again. "Why can't I get close to you?!"

"Because I hit you with repulsion mojikara," Kiriya explained. "Meaning you can't get anywhere near your boss until it wears off… Which, if my guess is correct, won't be until AFTER he dries up and dies!"

"Dokoku, you have to go back to the Sanzu River!" Dayu urged the warlord. "If you die from drying up, you won't get a second life!"

"I don't CARE if I dry up!" Dokoku snarled as more and more of his body turned gray and cracked up. "I will NEVER run from a fight! And besides… I still have plenty of time to kill this fool before I'm past the point of no return!"

"Actually, you've less time than you think," Kiriya told the fearsome Ayakashi.

"And why do you say that now?" Dokoku snapped, getting fed up with this Rider's tricks.

"Because everything I've done so far has been to distract you for Kaoru Shiba to prepare the sealing character to destroy you for good," Kiriya said cheerfully.

"WHAT?!" Dokoku and Dayu both cried in horror.

"DOKOKU!"

Both Ayakashi and Kiriya looked up to see the female red samurai, surrounded by her friends and son, standing atop the nearby ridge, an incredibly complex symbol written in flame in the air before her. "When I tried this all those years ago, I failed in my duty to vanquish you for good… But this time, I shall not fail!"

"When did they get here?!" Dokoku demanded.

"Oh, I texted them to show up the instant I saw that you'd been summoned," Kiriya explained happily. "And I've been deliberately drawing out our fight long enough for them to get here. That's why I didn't break out the electronic mojikara until I saw they were in position, to give Kaoru time to prepare the sealing character. And since Dayu is no longer a part of you…"

"Then that means… He no longer has a resistance to the sealing character!" Dayu realized in horror. "Dokoku, you MUST flee!"

"What's happening now?" Asked the baffled Dogranio.

"For generations, the heads of the Shiba clan- the red Shinkengers – – have been trying to master a sealing character powerful enough to defeat Dokoku for good," Abrella explained, checking his tablet again. "Kaoru Shiba was able to finally perfect the technique, but was unable to use it successfully against Dokoku due to him absorbing Dayu, which gave him a partial immunity to the character due to her being an Ayakashi of human origin, so the Shinkengers had to defeat him the hard way. However, seeing as how Dayu is no longer a part of Dokoku, there's no reason the character shouldn't work properly this time."

Dokoku hesitated. "… Perhaps…" He said slowly, through gritted teeth, clearly hating himself for saying it. "Perhaps… A tactical withdrawal would not be out of the question…"

"Actually, it is," Kiriya piped up.

"Oh, WHAT NOW?!"

"During your battle, Kotoha was using her Earth mojikara to seal up all the cracks and crevices nearby that you could use to retreat into the Sanzu River," Takeru explained.

"You're not getting away this time!" The yellow samurai jeered, hoisting her Land Slicer.

"No… No, this can't be how it ends!" Dokoku cried, outraged. "… Again!"

"Dokoku Chimatsuri!" Kaoru cried. "For over 300 years, you have been a plague on Japan and on my clan! You and your minions have slain members of my family and those of my vassals for generations! But no more! In the names of all of the Shiba, Ikenami, Shiraishi, Tani, and Hanaori who have come before us-"

"What about the Umemoris?" Genta interrupted.

"Your family has never been one of the vassal lineages!" Ryunosuke pointed out in irritation.

"Well it is now," Genta said petulantly.

"And my own beloved father, whom I never got the chance to meet… This day, you shall meet your end!" Kaoru declared.

"Again," Chiaki pointed out. Ryunosuke hit him.

Kaoru struck the sealing character with her blade, sending it blazing down towards Dokoku.

"Dokoku! No!" Dayu rushed forward, seeking to use her current state of repulsion to knock her master out of the path of the character…

Only to be grabbed from behind by a Bugster wearing a Kuroko outfit, which started bopping her on the head with Daigoyou. "None of that now!" The lantern cried as he smacked Dayu again and again. "Your boss isn't going to escape his fate this time!"

"NO! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS!" Dokoku roared in fury, charging energy into his blades and lashing out just before the character could slam into him, a tremendous blast of heat, flames, and red mojikara washing over him and causing his entire body to dry out. "THIS… SHALL NOT … BE MY END!"

"Wrong again."

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{ ORIGAMI SAMURAI CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

Form wreathed in mojikara, Kiriya slammed into the sealing character with a flying kick, providing it with the extra boost it needed to shatter Dokoku's infamous blades and slam into his body. The Ayakashi howled in agony as Kiriya and the character knocked him off his feet, plowing him into the side of a nearby cliff, Kiriya backflipping off as the symbol pressed him harder and harder into the stone.

There was a spectacular explosion, and finally Dokoku's cries were cut off, although Dayu's just kept going.

"NO! DOKOKU! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She screamed, struggling to break free from the Bugster holding her.

"Geez lady, I don't know why you're so hung up over this guy, he was a total jerk!" Daigoyou complained.

Kiriya landed as the flames subsided, revealing that there was now a crater in the side of the cliff in the shape of the sealing character, and right in the center of it was a petrified Dokoku, face twisted in anguish and torment for all time. Kiriya whistled. "Pretty impressive! Uh, but there's no way he can break out of that or anything, right?"

"No, he's very dead," Kaoru confirmed, leaning against Takeru's side, exhausted from the exertion of performing the sealing technique.

"He will not be coming back from that anytime soon, if ever," Takeru agreed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dayu collapsed to her knees as the Bugster let go of her, angrily pounding her fists into the dirt. "Damn you! Damn you, samurai! First Shinza, then Juzo, and now Dokoku?!" Trembling with rage, she looked up, red tears streaming down her cheeks. "This is far from over! I shall return to the Sanzu, and raise a massive army of Ayakashi! We will inflict such torment and suffering on humanity that your world will be drowned in blood long before the Sanzu overflows its banks! You may have thought Dokoku's wrath terrible, but it is nothing compared to-"

"Actually, you're not going to be doing any of that," Mako interrupted her.

"Why, because you're going to kill me first?" Dayu sneered.

"Actually, it's because thanks to the sealing character being FINALLY performed on Dokoku, the passage between Earth and the underworld is closed off forever," Chiaki told her.

Dayu froze. "…What?"

"Yeah, no more Gedoshu are going to be able to leave the Sanzu and enter our world ever again," Kotoha told her.

"Which also means… _you_ can't go back to the river either," Genta told her.

"You're trapped here forever," Ryunosuke informed her.

Dayu stared at the samurai, ashen, before collapsing on herself. "Then… Then you might as well kill me, for I have nothing left. Not even the cold hope of revenge."

"We're not going to do that!" Kiriya cried. He hesitated, then glanced at the other samurai. "Are we? Help me out here guys, I don't know what the protocol is for this sort of thing."

"That's… A good question," Mako confessed, scratching her head in puzzlement.

"Mother? What do you think?" Takeru asked Kaoru.

She rubbed her chin and thought. "Well, I suppose-"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Whoops, hold that thought," Kiriya cried as several Shocker Combatmen appeared. "Looks like we're going to take care of these chum first."

"Them again? They were hardly worth our time before," said a disgusted Chiaki.

"Fool! No pawn of evil is unworthy of our blades, no matter how weak or unassuming!" Ryunosuke chided him.

"Let's take care of them first, we can decide Dayu's fate afterwards," Kaoru suggested.

Takeru nodded in agreement. "Indeed! Samurai, go forth!"

As the samurai charged to meet the goons, swords drawn, Dayu stared after them for a moment, surprised that they had left her behind. _Then again_ , she reflected. _It's not like there's anywhere left for me to go._

After a moment, she stood up and drew her Sange Hankontō dagger. _Still, if I am to die this day, perhaps it is better if I do it with blade in hand. I will not ask you to watch over me, Dokoku, for I know that you would never do such a thing. Even so… I dedicate this battle to you!_

...

 **STAGE CLEAR**

 **CONTINUE?**


	42. Boss Rush 3: Poppy vs Brajira

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

As Dayu chased after the samurai, Abrella mused, "Well, that was certainly an impressive display of magical calligraphy. I must give credit to young Umemori for capitalizing on his team's special power like that, though as a businessman I lament that he wastes his considerable talents and intellect on selling sushi."

"There is no shame in making a profit selling food," Dogranio corrected Abrella. "I actually used to run a Takoyaki stand in my youth. Made my first profit… By adding an incredibly addictive secret ingredient to the sauce to make everyone crave it so much they'd literally kill for just a little more, giving me an army of desperate druggie assassins I could use to take out my competition. Even as a kid, I knew I was going to be a gangster someday."

Z glanced at the popcorn carton he was eating from, which Dogranio had handed him earlier. "Is this drugged?" He asked in alarm.

"If it were, do you think I'd tell you?" Dogranio asked in amusement. Z swallowed nervously.

"I think that's enough samurai action for now. Who's next?" Evolt asked, eating his popcorn without any hint of concern. After all, his species had evolved on the most dangerous planet in his home universe, so there were no toxins capable of giving him even mild indigestion. Granted, there were some planets he'd eaten that gave him a bit of a stomach ache, and he tended to avoid gas giants for rather obvious reasons, but for the most part, there was nothing he couldn't eat.

"How about those fighting angels? They're so shiny," Z suggested admiringly.

"What is it with you and shiny things?" Dogranio complained.

"I come from a very, very dark place. We don't get much brightness down there," Z said bluntly. "Which is why, the first time I saw light, I wanted more of it for myself, even if it burned." He sighed. "Unfortunately, I seem to be among the minority of my people who feel this way. Kind of a shame, really. We could do with more rainbows…"

"Actually, only one of them is an angel," Abrella corrected Z. "Although an argument could be made that he's not a 'true' angel but a member of an offshoot of humanity which watch over this planet from another realm that call themselves angels for some reason. The other is a Valkyrien, a divine warrior woman in the Gaimist Pantheon who fights on behalf of the gods and conveys the spirits of the honorable dead to their eternal reward."

"How do you know all that?" Evolt asked in disbelief. "That religion didn't even exist before you died!"

"I know _because_ I died," Abrella countered. "Meaning I was in a prime position to learn all about the new gods on the block. They're shaking up quite a lot of things on the other side, let me tell you. More than a few of the old guard are getting a little nervous about how popular they are becoming among the mortals, given how they seem to be willing to actually APPEAR before their worshipers and answer their prayers rather than sitting idly by in the realm of the gods doing nothing and reaping the harvest of faith their clergy give them."

"That's cool," Z commented. "I can understand why people would have more faith in deities that were actually seen going around doing things. Makes it easier to believe in them."

"My people used to have gods," Evolt recalled fondly. "And then we murdered them. They kept getting in the way."

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me," Dogranio said dryly. He hesitated, then warily asked Abrella, "So… Out of curiosity, exactly how bad was hell?"

"I wouldn't know, I never went there," Abrella informed him.

The other three gave him surprised looks. "How did you manage that?" Dogranio demanded.

"On my word, 'crime' is another word for 'religion,'" Abrella explained. "By Rainian standards, I have lived a virtuous life, so much so I'm seriously being considered for our equivalent of sainthood, and I'm sure my coming back from the dead will only hasten that process. When I died, I was immediately brought before the Great Godfathers and Godmothers, the seven Devine Dons who _invented_ crime, who personally welcomed me to the hereafter. I was able to enjoy the wonders of the highest echelons of our afterlife, befriending several of my people's greatest criminal masterminds, and establishing a number of useful business contacts which I'm certain will be profitable in my new ventures."

"… Huh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Z commented after a moment's thought. "Too bad none of that will help you very much and you probably can't go back there, considering that you're going to go straight so probably wouldn't be welcome in those parts anymore."

"Indeed," Abrella said with a straight face. "Such a pity."

"So… You might as well say that you've got friends on the other side?" Dogranio joked.

Abrella laughed. "Indeed!"

Evolt frowned. "I'm… Not really sure what happens to my people when we die. It happens, or happened so very rarely, up until my brother lost it and blew up the planet. I was always taught that when we die our souls go back to the Pandora Box… But I was stuck in there for millions of years, and it was just the four of us. I have no idea where everyone else went. Abrella, I don't suppose…"

"I can leverage some of my contacts in the beyond for information? Certainly," Abrella promised. "But first, I believe we have a battle of angels to watch," he advised, focusing the camera on the battle between Poppy and Brajira.

The fallen angel laughed as he fired energy blasts from his hands at Poppy, who dodged around them or deflected them with her cape. "You may appear angelic, Rider, but I am the only one who can truly claim to have descended from heaven! You are nothing more than a videogame character masquerading as something far beyond your comprehension!"

 **| NICO SNIPE! GASHACON MAGNUM! |**

Manifesting her friend's gun, Poppy opened fire at the fallen angel, who grunted and shielded himself from her bullets with his own wings. "Considering that I was chosen by an actual God, while you FELL from your 'heaven,' I think I'm the only one here with a claim to any measure of divinity, no matter how much of a Messiah you claim to be!" She cried.

"Spare me," Brajira sneered. "Unlike your false gods, I am the only one willing to do what it takes to truly save this world!"

Poppy shook her head in disgust. "What, by killing people? Zaizen thought the same thing, and he was just as wrong!" She touched one of the statuettes on her body.

 **| MALIKA! SONIC ARROW! |**

"Why don't I show you what the power of REAL divinity feels like?" Poppy taunted, drawing back the bow and firing an energy arrow at Brajira.

Brajira produced a gray orb, which entered his chest with a flash of light. "Trianglobal!" A wall of wind, stone, and water manifested before him, and the arrow crashed into it, sparks flying. "Doesn't seem too powerful to me-"

The arrow flashed and the elemental wall exploded, the arrow lancing out and striking Brajira in the chest, hurling him backwards, crying out in agony as golden feathers fell all around him. "You were saying?" Poppy taunted.

"Nnngh… Not… Bad…" Brajira grunted as he staggered to his feet. Much to his dismay, the arrow had left a sizable scar on his chest. If his shield hadn't blunted its impact, it might very well have killed him. "But… Not good enough, it would seem. I see you can call upon the powers of your sister Riders. Well, let me do you one better! Behold, a Tensou technique of my own devising! Repliclone!"

He produced a blue orb, which entered his chest with a flash of light. His form blurred and split apart in a splash of water, becoming five dopplegangers. However, while the one in the middle retained his angelic/demonic appearance, the other four all varied. The one on the far left was blue and silver and resembled a treehopper, the second from the left was covered in armor resembling a house centipede, the second from the right looked as if he were cosplaying as Dokoku, and the one on the far right was a cyborg resembling an Ammonite.

"Behold, the Buredoran Corps!" Brajira declared, spreading his arms out to the four clones of himself. "Composed of my four alter egos, the only people I know I can trust not to betray or disappoint me… Buredoran of the Comet, Buredoran of the Chupacabra, Buredoran of the Chimatsuri, and Buredo-RUN of the Cyborg! Led of course by yours truly, Brajira of the Messiah!"

"… Wow, I don't think even Kuroto's vain enough to form a team made up only of himself," Poppy said in disgust.

"IT'S-" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme started to yell, only to get punched in the face by Emu, who was in his Muteki Gamer form, when he was distracted.

"So, if they're all you, how do you know that they aren't going to betray you, given you have a penchant for backstabbing everyone you've ever worked with?" Poppy questioned.

"Oh, we would NEVER do that!" Buredoran of the Comet cried, offended.

"And certainly not because he is the strongest of all of us," Buredoran of the Chupacabra spoke up.

"And because we can't work together to take him out because none of us trust each other enough to do so," Buredoran of the Chimatsuri added.

Buredo-RUN of the Cyborg opened his mouth and emitted a sound that sounded like a dial-up modem.

Poppy raised an eyebrow. Brajira coughed awkwardly. "N-nevertheless, we are all still united in a common cause! Do you think you can defeat all five of us at once?"

"I'm pretty sure I can," Poppy replied. "But… I don't think I have to." She regarded the clones with an analytical look. "Let's see… An alien insect, a UMA, a Youkai, and a cyborg… I know just who to get for help!"

She tapped four statuettes.

 **| LADY! IXA NIGO! SHUKI! VALKYRIE! |**

Four gateways appeared, and from each of them emerged a female Kamen Rider.

"Her red flower blooms! Heaven my way, "Inkohana Tendou", I am Kamen Rider Lady!" Declared the woman wearing armor resembling a ladybug.

"Yuumajuu! Please return that life to God!" Declared the Rider in white and gold armor, pointing a large rifle with a bayonet attachment at Buredoran of the Chupacabra.

"I shall destroy any enemy before me, be they Makamou, Gedoushu, or fallen angel," intoned the Oni in red and gold armor with a massive demon face covering her face.

"What the… Poppy, you didn't have to summon me, I was already here," protested the orange and silver Rider resembling a cheetah, looking around in confusion. "Also, I was in the middle of a battle with Jin and Parad against Enter and Escape, whom he brought back from the dead."

"Oh. Sorry," Poppy apologized, blushing under her mask. "Should, uh, should I send you back?"

Yua sighed. "No, I'm here, I might as well help. They can probably take care of themselves."

"Can they, now?" Abrella wondered, turning the camera to focus on a different battle.

"Where did Yua go? We can't take care of this ourselves!" Jin cried, frantically trying to defend himself from the cackling Enter's precise sword strikes, the avatar having changed into his Dark Buster form.

"We are so screwed!" Parad wailed as he frantically tried to evade the laughing Escape Evolve's gunshots. "… And also I'm super aroused right now for some reason! Are you seeing anyone, or is Enter your boyfriend?"

The blue armored avatar paused at that. "Me and Enter? Ew! He's like my brother!"

"And I most certainly do not give you permission to date her!" Enter yelled, furious.

"Hey, you don't get to say who I do or don't date!" Escape snapped back at Enter, livid.

"I'm the one who keeps bringing you back from the dead, so yes, actually, I think I do!" Enter retorted.

"Hey, good strategy, that should give us some time to formulate a plan of attack," Jin congratulated Parad as the two avatars started arguing.

"… Strategy. Right. That's what I was doing," Parad lied.

The villains laughed. "Classic Gilligan cut," Dogranio chuckled, wiping away a tear.

"So should we focus on them, or…?" Z questioned.

"Let's go back to the girls, I want to see them beat the feathers out of that Angel," Evolt suggested.

"Very well." Abrella positioned the camera back on Poppy and her new allies.

"By the way, why exactly are there so many Brajira's wearing different outfits?" Z inquired.

"During his battles with the Goseigers, Brajira disguised himself to infiltrate and manipulate the Universal Annihilation Army Warstar, the Earth Condemnation Group Yumajuu, the Gedoushu, and the Machine Onslaught Empire Matrintis," Abrella explained. "After he was briefly resurrected to serve in the Black Cross Army, he gained the ability to make clones of himself based on his alter egos, but was killed by the Goseigers and Gokaigers before he could inevitably betray the Black Cross King."

"So, basically you'd have to be an idiot to work with this guy," Dogranio concluded.

"Indeed," Abrella agreed.

Evolt laughed. "Then I must've worked with a lot of idiots, because I made it almost blatantly clear I was manipulating and betraying everyone around me, but they STILL thought they could control me! Humans are so dumb." The other three nodded in agreement.

"So you can summon female Riders as well as using their powers… Interesting…" Brajira murmured.

"It'll be a lot more interesting after we show you just what we're capable of!" Poppy exclaimed. "Ladies, let's show them who's boss! Everyone, you know who you're up against! I summoned you because they're your specialty, after all."

"I usually fight vampires, actually," Megumi spoke up.

"This one doesn't really look like a Makamou," Shuki complained.

"I fight robots, not cyborgs," Yua added.

"Eh, I'm good," said Inkohana, not particularly bothered by her opponent.

"Look, you're the closest counters for each of them I've got, okay?!" Poppy said in exasperation.

"Unfortunately, 'close' isn't going to cut it!" Brajira sneered. "Get them! And leave the Valkyrie to me!"

"I thought I was fighting the cyborg," a confused Yua.

"No, not you, I meant… Oh, forget about it!" Brajira snapped, getting irritated.

"This should be easy!" Buredoran of the Comet sneered, thrusting his Buredolancer forwards and sending energy ropes snaking through the air towards Inkohana while firing his Comet Bullet energy blasts from his free hand. "Of all the ZECT Riders, you're the weak-"

"CLOCK UP!"

Suddenly, Inkohana vanished, a red and black blur streaking all around Buredoran and pummeling him with fists and feet and a racket over and over again. After several seconds of sustained, nonstop, lightspeed blows, Inkohana finally came to a stop a few meters away, her back turned to the false alien. Raising an index finger into the air, she declared, "Grandmother always said, 'he who underestimates his opponent invites doom upon himself, for even the "weakest" of opponents can still slay the mightiest of adversaries if they let their guard down."

Buredoran of the Comet had no reply to that, because he suddenly exploded.

Inkohana shook her head gravely. "Never underestimate one who walks the path of heaven!"

"That was fast," Z commented.

"Given that ZECT Riders are able to use a power called 'Clock Up' to enhance their speed, it's only to be expected," Abrella informed him.

"Tendou… Wait, isn't that the name of Kamen Rider Kabuto?" Evolt called. "Are they related?"

"Yes, she's his daughter from the future," Abrella explained.

"Ah."

"You know, you don't look much like a chupacabra," Megumi commented as she unloaded her Fangire Killer Custom at Buredoran of the Chupacabra, who sliced the energy bolts out of the air with his claws.

"That's because I'm not a chupacabra," Buredoran of the Chupacabra explained, flinging energy slices at her. "I'm only pretending to be a Yuumajuu."

"Yes, but then why not make yourself look like an actual chupacabra?" Megumi replied, doing a tactical roll across the ground to avoid the energy slices before opening fire again.

Buredoran shielded himself with his claws. "Have you ever seen a chupacabra?"

"Well, no," Megumi admitted.

"Then how do you know this isn't what they look like?" Buredoran pressed. "Minus the centipede bit, all Yuumajuu have an arthropod motif going on for some reason."

"I suppose that's fair," Megumi conceded. Then she sighted down her rifle and fired, but instead of shooting a bullet her gun launched the bayonet attachment at the end of a cable.

Buredoran caught the blade between his claws. "Too slow!"

"Not at all," Megumi replied, hitting a button on the rifle's stock that sent several million volts of electricity coursing down the cable and into Buredoran's body, causing the "chupacabra" to cry out and convulse in agony. She pulled back on her weapon, causing the blade to slip out from between Buredoran's claws and slice the villain across the face, blinding him.

"MY EYES!" Buredoran howled, grabbing his bleeding face.

"That is only the beginning," Megumi told him, flicking her gun again. The bayonet whizzed around Buredoran, the cable unreeling behind it as it looped several times around the fake Cryptid before pulling it tight, binding him. Buredoran struggled, trying to get free, but Megumi didn't intend to let him have that chance. She hit another button on the rifle, and the cable started to retract, the serrated edge of the blade digging into Buredoran's carapace and ripping through the shell as it was dragged along, Buredoran screaming in agony as his armor was torn to pieces, blood and pus and other fluids spewing all over the place.

As the bayonet clicked back into place on top of the rifle's barrel, Buredoran staggered and fell to his knees, massive chunks of his armor sloughing off of his body. "I… I underestimated you…" He wheezed. He laughed brokenly. "Then again… What should I expect from a woman ruthless enough to murder her own husband so she could finally fulfill what her mother and grandmother could not and become a Kamen Rider?"

Megumi coldly removed the Riser Fuestle from the side of her gun and inserted it into her belt and pressed the Ixa Knuckle.

 **| IXA KNUCKLE - RISE UP! |**

Megumi removed the Knuckle and charged at Buredoran. "RISING BROKEN FANG!"

She punched Buredoran in the chest, sending the imitation Yuumajuu flying back, the Brajira clone exploding before he could hit the ground.

"While I will admit part of the reason I married my husband was to gain access to my grandmother's system, and there was much I disliked about him, I was not his killer," Megumi said grimly. "I am not a murderer, and I do not want my daughter to grow up thinking I am one. I don't know who killed Nago, but it wasn't me. You can tell him that yourself if you see him on the other side." She turned her back on the smoldering remains of Buredoran of the Chupacabra. "Return your life to God, asshole."

Megumi heard the sound of someone slow-clapping. Turning, she saw Shuki approaching. "Well spoken," the Oni Rider commented in approval. "What shall you do if you ever find the killer who murdered your husband?"

"Bring him to justice," Megumi said instantly. "He deserves that much, as does my daughter."

Shuki nodded, pleased with his answer. "Very good. However, see to it that your thirst for vengeance does not consume you. It did so to me, leading to my being stripped of my Oni status and eventually, my life."

"I understand," Megumi told the senior Rider, bowing her head in thanks for her advice. "Thank you for your wisdom." She frowned. "Wait, weren't you supposed to be fighting Buredoran of the Chimatsuri?"

The pieces of a broken sword landed at Megumi's feet. "Oh, he died," Shuki said casually.

Was it just her imagination, or had the grin on the Oni's demon mask grown wider? Megumi shivered despite herself.

Buredo-RUN of the Cyborg emitted more electronic noise as the BuredoLaunchers in his shoulders fired missiles at Yua. The A. I. M. S. Rider took aim and fired a series of energy bolts from her ShotRiser as she zigzagged across the ground, blasting many of the rockets out of the air while her rapid movements allowed her to evade the other projectiles.

"You really need to do something about your voice!" The Rider commented, unloading several bullets into the cyborg's chest. "I think you need to update your drivers!"

The cyborg responded by screeching incomprehensibly and firing energy beams from his palms while launching more missiles. Dashing across the ground, Yua evaded the attacks while getting closer to Buredo-RUN. When she got in close range, the cyborg charged energy into his Buremerang blades and tried to slice her with them, only for her to duck under his swipes and slide beneath his feet, firing her blaster upwards all the while, causing a small explosion to erupt from Buredo-RUN's metallic groin.

"Oh, knock it off," Yua snapped when the cyborg shrieked in presumed pain and outrage. "It's not as if you had anything down there to begin with! At least, not anymore!"

Livid and filling the air with more dial-up noises, Buredo-RUN whirled about, lashing out with the cables dangling from his wrists. Yua raised an arm to block them, but the cables wrapped around her wrist and conducted thousands of volts of electricity into her body, causing the Rider to gasp in pain. Buredo-RUN slammed his palm into her face, charging energy into it as he prepared to blast her head off.

Blind, desperate, and in a considerable amount of pain, Yua frantically fired her ShotRiser in Buredo-RUN's direction. While most of the bullets splashed harmlessly off his thick metal armor, by chance one of the shots caught him in his good eye, causing him to reel back, making electronic warbling noises as he jerked his hand to the side, his energy blast firing over Yua's shoulder and scorching the side of her helmet.

The Rider fired at the cables wrapped around her wrist, severing them and allowing her to break free, sighing in relief as the electricity faded. "I think perhaps I should give you a taste of your own medicine," Yua decided as she set her ShotRiser into her belt, producing the Lightning Hornet ProgRise Key and twirling it in one hand.

 **| THUNDER! |**

She set the key into her ShotRiser and pulled the trigger.

 **| AUTHORIZE! SHOTRISE! |**

A yellow energy bullet shot out from her gun and whizzed about her like a bee before slamming into her chest, blue holographic rings forming around her as her armor came apart and was replaced by pieces of yellow and blue armor with a honeycomb pattern, steam venting from her body.

 **| LIGHTNING HORNET! |**

 **"Piercing needle with incredible force."**

Buredo-RUN made a sound that could possibly be interpreted as confusion and amusement at the English text-to-speech phrase her ShotRiser had just blurted out. "Well, at least people can actually understand what I'm saying!" Yua snapped, flustered, causing the cyborg to sulk. "Now, let me show you just how forceful my needles are."

Crystalline bee wings extended from her back and started vibrating rapidly, allowing her to rise into the air. Buredo-RUN only gawked at her in disbelief for a moment before remembering he was supposed to be fighting her and started unloading on her with energy blasts, electric bolts, and missiles. Like the insects she was emulating, Yua bobbed and weaved all over the place, leaving after images in her wake as she expertly dodged the projectiles.

"Deploy, Hex Vespa!" Yua declared.

Hornet -shaped missiles launched from the hexagonal ports all over her body and rushed towards Buredo-RUN in a massive swarm.

Emitting a shriek that could probably have been translated to "OH, NO! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE BEES! AAAAAHHHHH! OH, THEY'RE IN MY EYES! MY EEEEEEEEEYES! AARGHABLARGHRAWRGHRAWRGHWARGHRARRARGHRAGHRAA!", the cyborg frantically flailed his limbs about while firing wildly in all directions. For every dozen missiles he destroyed, six dozen more emerged from Yua's body to replace them, the drones slamming into his body and exploding in electrical bursts that sent an increasingly nasty shock coursing through his cybernetic body. Sparks flew, pieces of his body caught flame or popped off, and he started twitching and convulsing chaotically.

"I see that my hive's sting is not to your liking," Yua remarked as she landed before Buredo-RUN, folding her wings back into her armor and ceasing her bombardment.

Enraged, and ignoring the numerous warning signs flashing in his HUD, Buredo-RUN tried to fire his Buredolaunchers…

Only for them to explode catastrophically due to all of the Hex Vespa Yua had directed to clog up his missile ports while he was distracted trying to fend off the swarm. Buredo-RUN's arms were blown off and his head was reduced to a misshapen mass of melted slag.

As the cyborg stood there, twitching and clicking, Yua flipped her ProgRise Key. "Do not worry. Your suffering shall soon end."

 **| THUNDER! LIGHTNING BLAST FEVER! |**

Spreading her wings, Yua leapt back into the air, shooting back down towards Buredo-RUN, her right leg extending and turning into a blue stinger, piercing the cyborg through the chest and pinning him to the ground.

 **| THUNDER! LIGHTNING BLAST FEVER! |**

In a blast of electricity, Buredo-RUN exploded. "Disappointing," Yua remarked. "I barely got any useful data from that. I've fought Magia tougher than this."

Meanwhile, Brajira spread his wings, Gosei Orbs floating around him as he glowed with power as he prepared to battle Poppy. "Since it seems I cannot overwhelm you with sheer numbers, it looks like it's down to a test of which of us is the mightiest. Show me, Valkyrien, just how strong you _really_ -"

 **| TSUKUYOMI! TIME STOP! |**

With the sound of a clock tick, everything but Poppy froze. "I'm sorry about this," the female Rider apologized to Brajira, the fallen angel frozen in place, body glitching in and out of existence. "I'm pretty sure that I'm breaking the rules by doing this, but… I really don't have time for a climactic, drawn-out battle with you. My friends and the man I love need me, so I'm going to have to cut this short."

She tapped the Kiva-la statuette on her chest.

 **| KIVA-LA! KIVA-LA SABER! |**

In a flash of light, the sword that had slain the Destroyer of Worlds materialized in Poppy's hand. With a flourish, she thrusted it into Brajira's chest, then drew it out and spun around, back facing him. "If we ever meet again," she promised Brajira, not sure whether or not he could hear her. "I promise we'll do this properly, okay?"

She snapped her fingers.

"-are – – why is there a hole in my chest-"

With a cry of agony, Brajira fell to his knees and exploded spectacularly, golden feathers fluttering all over the place.

"What? What just happened?" Z asked in confusion.

"I have no idea," said the confused Dogranio. "She just… Looked at him and he exploded? Did she have that sword a minute ago?"

"Clearly she stopped time, summoned that sword, and ran him through while he was frozen, killing him effortlessly in the gap between seconds," Evolt speculated.

The other three looked at him in surprise. "How could you possibly know that?" Asked an intrigued Abrella.

"I can control black holes, which have gravity so intense it can distort space and time. As such, I'm sensitive to fluctuations in space-time," Evolt explained. "And speaking of which… There's a shitload of that going around right now. Your timeline is all out of whack. Someone should probably do something about that."

…

In the year 2068, quite a lot of people sneezed mid-battle.

…

"So girls, how'd it go?" Poppy asked when she saw that her four comrades approaching her.

"All Buredorans have been successfully terminated," Megumi reported.

"It's been a while since I've had a good battle," Shuki commented. She sniffed. "A pity you didn't summon me for one."

"… That's kind of uncalled for…" Poppy muttered, looking hurt.

"Don't mind her, I always enjoy the chance to beat the bad guys," Inkohana told the Bugster. "I don't really get to do it that often…"

"Well, I'm glad some of you are satisfied," Poppy decided, cheering up somewhat. "Would you like me to send you all back home?"

The four women shook their heads. "It looks like there's still lots of fighting going on. We can help," Inkohana suggested.

"Perhaps I shall find a more worthy adversary here," Shuki agreed.

"I was already here, so…" Yua pointed out. "I should probably get back to Parad and Jin…"

"Great!" Poppy cheered, excited. "We'll save everyone together! Poppy's Angels, let's move out!"

The other Riders stared at her for a moment. "Yeah, we aren't calling ourselves that," Megumi said flatly. The other three women nodded. Poppy pouted.

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	43. Boss Rush 4: Cyclone, et al, vs Dr Maki

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Poppy's Angels? I dunno, I think it has a nice ring to it," Z commented.

"And Shuki is already dead, so she could technically be considered one already," Evolt agreed. "… Or not, since she's sort of a demon. You know, Oni and all."

"Are they actually demons? I mean, there _are_ such things as Oni that aren't Riders, right?" Z asked.

Evolt shrugged. "Hell if I know."

"There are," Abrella confirmed. "I've even met a few."

"Son, let me tell you from experience: _all_ women are demons deep down," Dogranio said sagely.

Abrella laughed. "Oh, I could tell you some stories about my wives…"

"Speaking of Oni, why didn't you show us Shuki's battle?" Z complained.

"I only have one camera, and so can focus on only one fight at a time, it's not my fault she finished her battle before I could observe it!" Abrella replied defensively.

"Let's try to avoid that for our next fight. Which is…where?" Dogranio asked.

"What about that purple dinosaur guy?" Z suggested.

"You mean Dr. Maki?" Abrella intuited.

"Is that what his name is?" Dogranio wondered.

"What's he a doctor of, paleontology?" Evolt joked.

"As a matter of fact, no, he isn't," Abrella corrected Evolt. "He transformed himself into monster called a Greeed to fulfill his desire to wipe out all life on Earth and destroy the world."

"Really?" Evolt asked, surprised. "A guy after my own heart!"

"Not really," Abrella interjected again. "Well you devour planets because it's part of your species' diet, and because it amuses you, Maki actually thinks he's doing everyone a favor by annihilating everything."

"Oh, a nihilist," Evolt sneered in disgust. "Those guys are such whiners. Yeah, let's see how he's doing, so we can watch some hero beat the crap out of him if for no other reason."

"Very well," Abrella said. He gestured, and his camera swiveled and zoomed in on Philip, Ryubee, Kengo, and Gamou, who were fighting Dr. Maki, the Kyoryu Greeed.

"Maki!" Philip cried, exchanging blows charged with green wind energy with the purple Saurian. "Why are you fighting us? Didn't death give you a different perspective, like it has my father and Gamou?"

"It has not," Maki replied, flicking up his cape, the edge engulfed in purple flames, and knocking Philip back. "In life, all I desired was oblivion. When I died, that is what I received. Now that I have been unwillingly dragged back to this plane, oblivion is, once more, all I wish."

"Then let us end you!" Philip pleaded, throwing a kick Maki's way, bursts of green wind following his motions and buffeting the dinosaur man. "So you may return to the void you so cherish!"

Maki shielded himself with his cape, gathering power in one hand. "And allow you to continue to grow? So that you may rot and decay and become ugly? No, far kinder for me to kill you now, while you are still beautiful. Only when this world is given the ending it deserves, shall I be able to rest!"

He hurled a purple fireball at Philip, knocking him back.

Evolt groaned. "Oh my Pandora, he's even worse than I thought. Does he also slit his wrists while listening to angsty teenage music?"

"… I like that music," Z murmured, hurt.

"It's no good, Philip!" Gamou cried, firing energy arrows at Maki. The Greeed deflected the bursts with his cape and returned fire, volleying purple fireballs at the Zodiarts, who nimbly jumped and flipped out of their path. "Unlike your father and myself, he never desired to benefit mankind through his actions, no matter how misguided we may have been! All he has ever wanted is to destroy the world!"

"Something's true worth can only be determined after its end," Maki replied, charging energy into a foot. "Therefore, isn't ending it while it is still worthy, before the decay sets in, the greatest achievement one can aspire to?"

"UGGGGGGGGGGH," Evolt moaned. "Destroying the world is supposed to be FUN! He's making it sound like a chore! I hate this guy!"

"Don't worry, I'm sure they'll kill him soon enough," Dogranio reassured Evolt.

"Hey Abrella, if these guys were dead, did you run into them on the other side?" He asked.

Abrella gave the Emperor an offended look. "Oh, so all dead people know each other? It's a big afterlife, Z! Just because we were villains doesn't necessarily mean we ran in the same circles!"

"Okay, okay, sorry," Z apologized quickly

Maki stomped the ground, sending out a purple shockwave and tearing up the earth, flinging Philip and Gamou back.

"Gamou!" Ryubee shouted, outraged. "Leave my son alone! Let me give you a taste of absolute TERROR!"

He pointed at Maki, and his shadow extended, broadening and bubbling as it turned into a seething pool of blue and black energy. The pool spilled out to cover Maki's feet…

And nothing happened. "What?!" Ryubee cried, startled. "You should be screaming in terror! You should be so frightened movement is impossible!"

"I have already lived through my greatest fear, and accepted it," Gamou said solemnly. "For one who desires nothingness, terror has no power over me."

Evolt screamed in outrage off in the distance.

"Perhaps not," Ryubee admitted. "But perhaps my DRAGON will!"

The eyes on his bizarrely-shaped headdress shot open, and with a bone-chilling roar a colossal blue beast resembling a Barong shot forwards, leaving the headdress blank as it materialized and lunged towards Maki.

The Greeed's hands shot out as he dug his heels into the ground, standing his ground as the Dragon slammed into him. He grunted as it pushed him back several feet, straining with all his superhuman might to keep it at bay. The monster snarled, opening its jaws and loosing a torrent of blue flames onto Maki. The dinosaur man cried out, purple flames forming on his hands as he prepared to retaliate…

And was blindsided when Kengo rushed up in his mecha and shoulder-checked him, flinging him several yards away. "It looks like all those years of watching Shun at American football practice have paid off!" Kengo cried, activating his weapon systems and unleashing a volley of machine gun fire from his arms and missiles from his shoulders at Maki.

Maki spread his cape and soared into the air, the bullets and rockets exploding beneath him. "A futile effort." He started spinning around, hurling purple fireballs and waves of purple wind at everyone below.

Ryubee cried out in alarm as a particularly large fireball was flung towards him, but thankfully his Dragon rushed forwards, using its body to shield its master. He sighed in relief and patted the monster on the head, the great blue familiar making an oddly adorable purring noise as it leaned into him.

"Wrong move, Maki!" Philip shouted, livid that his father had almost gotten hurt. "Taking to the skies is never a good move when fighting someone with the power of cyclones!"

He pointed his arms at Maki and started rapidly rotating them until they became green blurs, twin green cyclones billowing out from his limbs and buffeting Maki, causing him to grunt and struggle to stabilize himself as the winds tossed him here and there.

"Utahoshi, throw me!" Gamou cried, getting an idea.

"Looks like I have another reason to be thankful for all the games I've watched Shun play," Kengo remarked, picking Gamou up and rearing back. "53, 42, 27, HIKE!"

He hurled Gamou into the air so hard there was a tremendous thunderclap.

As Gamou sailed through the air, he extended his right foot forward, charging energy into it and causing an arrowhead to appear. "Sagittarius… KICK!"

With a burst of purple power, Maki managed to dispel the cyclones… Just in time for Gamou to drive his foot into his chest. The Greeed cried out as they were both propelled back through the air, dozens of small Cell Medals spilling out from the point of contact, until the Terror Dragon suddenly swooped down and caught Maki in its jaws, gnawing and gnashing on the dinosaur man while Gamou flipped up and landed on the top of its head.

"Excellent teamwork!" Ryubee applauded.

"Who would ever have imagined something like this happening? Our working together with our former greatest enemies?" Kengo marveled.

"Oh, gag me," Dogranio complained, grimacing in disgust.

"I think it's kind of nice, actually," Z spoke up. "I mean, I wouldn't mind teaming up with the ToQgers sometime…"

"Then you're in the minority, kid," Dogranio snapped. "Right, Evolt?"

Evolt, who'd been glancing at Ryuga Banjo to see how he was doing, blinked and glanced over at the Gangler boss. "What? Oh, yeah. Right. Absolutely."

"Stranger things have happened in this world," Philip pointed out. "After all, my pet cat can turn into a monster… Wait… Father, I think something is wrong with-"

There was an explosion, and half of the Terror Dragon's head vanished in a blast of purple flame. Gamou yelped, startled, and had to cling onto one of the beast's horns to keep from falling off.

"No, my Dragon!" Ryubee cried, horrified.

As the Dragon wailed in anguish and twisted about in the air, steadily descending towards the ground, purple flames trailing behind it, Maki managed to crawl out from the monster's mouth and tumbled towards the ground, his ripped cape flapping in the wind as he struggled to stabilize himself. He managed to land on his feet hard enough to crater the ground as the Dragon rather painfully crashed behind him, throwing Gamou face-first into the dirt.

"That… Was fairly impressive," Maki admitted, skin scorched and still burning in places, Cell Medals falling from the numerous holes the Dragon's teeth had torn out of his skin as well as the spot where Gamou had kicked him. "I do not think I have felt such pain since my final battle with Hino."

He raised his hands, purple flames burning brilliantly in them. "Allow me to return the favor-"

 **| DRILL ARM! |**

Suddenly, a sizable drill bit burst out of Maki's chest. The Greeed howled in agony as the drill spun, tearing through his flesh and funneling Cell Medals up its length and into a waiting receptacle on the body of Kamen Rider Birth, who was standing behind him. "Go… To?!" Maki gasped in disbelief.

"Hello, Doctor," Goto said calmly. "Long time no see."

"Not long enough, in my opinion!" Commented Date, using his Springer Haken to scoop up loose Cell Medals that his partner was missing.

"Goto? Date? What are you doing here?" Asked the surprised Philip.

"Mr. Kougami dispatched us to help out the minute he learned something big was going on here," Goto explained, grabbing Maki with his Vermilion Bucket to keep him from pulling himself off the drill.

"We would've been here sooner," Date explained, dumping the medals he collected into his jar and going back for more. "But we had to pick up a few friends along the way!"

"Friends?" Asked the confused Kengo. "Who do you mean?"

"Did somebody say friends?!" Gentaro cried giddily as he dropped out of the sky in his Base State and landed next to Kengo. "Hey guys! It's been awhile! Especially you, Gamou!"

"Kisaragi! It is good to see you doing well!" Gamou declared, proud to see the Rider. "Thank you for taking such good care of my school!"

"Like I could do anything else!" Gentaro declared, giving first Kengo and then the bemused Gamou his special secret friendship handshake. "Amanogawa High changed my life, and I hope to make it so that future generations of students all feel the same way!"

"They had to stop in Fuuto to get me as well," remarked another Rider as he walked up. His suit looked almost identical to Phillips', except it was black and purple, and he was wearing an incredibly stylish white Fedora.

"Shotaro! I thought you were in the middle of a case!" Philip cried in delight.

"I completed it as soon as I heard you were in the middle of something. After all, what kind of hard-boiled detective would I be if I let my partner get into trouble by himself?" Shotaro declared, clasping a hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"I thought you were half-boiled," Ryubee commented.

"Shut up."

"And of course, we can't possibly forget the guest of honor!" Date quipped.

"Guest of honor?" Gamou asked, puzzled.

Maki went rigid. "That presence… Can it be?!"

 ** _"PTERA, TRICERA, TYRANNO: PU-TO-TYRANNOSAURUS!"_**

With a reptilian shriek, a man in purple and silver armor resembling a dinosaur swooped down and landed before them. "Eiji!" Philip cried in delight.

"Hi… No…" Maki grunted.

"Maki. It's been a while," Eiji Hino, Kamen Rider OOO said grimly.

"I already used that line," Date complained.

"This is awesome!" Gentaro whooped, doing his special secret friendship handshake with Eiji. "All three of the original Neo-Heisei Riders, together again!"

"Don't you mean four of us?" Shotaro pointed out.

"You and I sort of count as one, so…" Philip pointed out with a shrug.

"Hey, it's great that you guys are together again, do you think you could hurry up and finish Maki? I don't think I can hold him for much longer!"Goto grunted, struggling to keep Maki impaled on his drill.

"Oh, right," Eiji said, nodding at his friends. "We can catch up later. Let's take care of Maki first!"

Everyone nodded. "All together now!" Shotaro cried as the Riders and their allies prepared their finishing moves.

 **"CELL BURST!"**

 **"DOUBLE RIDER KICK MAXIMUM DRIVE!"**

 **"SCANNING CHARGE! BLASTING FREEZER!"**

 **"ROCKET DRILL LIMIT BREAK! RIDER ROCKET DRILL KICK!"**

 **"SAGITTARIUS KICK!"**

 **"POWERDIZER CUSTOM ALL SYSTEMS FULL POWER!"**

Goto quickly withdrew his drill and dove for cover as Date fired a massive blast from his Birth Buster, Shotaro, Philip, Gentaro and Gamou leapt into the air and shot towards Maki, legs extended and wreathed in energy (or in Gentaro's case, a drill), weapons ports opened up all over the body of Kengo's mecha and launched a fusillade, and Eiji's shoulder-mounted Wind Stingers extended to impale Maki in the chest while the External Fins on his head emitted a freezing blast that encased the Greeed in ice, holding him in place.

"Once again… I am complete…" Maki said solemnly, accepting his death with dignity as all of the attacks collided with his frozen form at the same time, shattering him in a tremendous explosion and sending medals flying everywhere.

"FINALLY!" Evolt shouted. "Took them long enough…"

While Date and Goto quickly rushed around, grabbing as many of the Cell Medals falling from the sky as they could, Eiji immediately spotted five purple medals pulsating with sinister power as they tumbled back towards the ground. Drawing his Medagabryu axe, he jumped skyward, swiping several Cell Medals and stuffing them into the mouth of his weapon, causing it to glow with purple power.

 ** _"GOKKUN: PUTOTYRANNO FINISHER! GROUND OF RAGE!"_**

Eiji swung his ax through the air, striking and shattering the five purple medals in a series of violet explosions far greater than one would expect from something that small. As the fragments of the medals rained down around him, Eiji landed heavily on the ground, throwing back his head and unleashing a feral roar of victory.

"Should he be doing that?" Asked the confused Ryubee.

"That form is pretty strong, it's power overwhelms him a little sometimes," Philip explained, knowing that feeling all too well from past difficulties with the Fang Memory.

"Why did he just do that?" Asked the confused Dogranio.

"Roaring in triumph? I dunno, seems fairly fitting," Z remarked.

"No, I meant breaking those purple medals," Dogranio clarified.

"Greeed are capable of regenerating so long as the special Core Medals containing their consciousness are intact," Abrella explained. "OOO's PuToTyra Combo has the special ability to destroy the normally indestructible Core Medals to prevent Greeed from reviving themselves."

"Another reason dinosaurs are so awesome!" Z gushed.

"I suppose it's a good thing I wasn't the one who wiped them out, then," Evolt reluctantly conceded. "I mean, I couldn't have since I was trapped in the Pandora Box at the time, but if I'd been free then, I probably would have."

Eiji shook his head, snapping himself out of it. "Whew! Haven't used this form in a while. Kind of forgot how strong it is…"

"Hey, the stronger the better!" Gentaro said philosophically. "Because it looks like there's a lot of bad guys running around, and we're going to need everything we've got to stop them!"

Philip nodded in agreement. "Looks like there's a lot of sins to count up today. Let's get to it."

"May I continue fighting alongside you?" Gamou asked hopefully. "Working with others, it was… It was nice. It makes me realize I should've appreciated my subordinates more while I still have them."

"Sure, the more the merrier!" Gentaro said cheerfully.

"I have no objections," Kengo agreed.

"Hopefully the other enemies will be more receptive to my fear powers, because with my poor Dragon out of commission, there's not much else I can do," Ryubee lamented, staring sadly at the corpse of his familiar.

"Don't worry father, Shotaro and I will take care of you," Philip promised.

"That's right," Shotaro agreed. "… As soon as someone explains to me why he's alive and apparently on our side now?"

"It's a bit of a long story, and we'll explain on the way," Kengo promised.

"Doesn't seem too complicated to me. They died, realized the error of their ways, came back, and want to be friends now!" Gentaro simplified dramatically.

"He's not wrong," Gamou confessed.

"Hey Abrella, why don't you go down and join their friendship circle? Seeing as how you've totally become a legitimate businessman now?" Dogranio joked.

"I would rather not," Abrella replied coldly.

"Z, sit your ass back down!" Snapped Evolt, noticing that Z had been about to get up, presumably to join the newly-minted friends.

"Awww, okay," Z complained, reluctantly sitting back down.

Eiji cocked his head, intrigued. "Okay, this I have to hear."

"As do I. Come on, Date, we have to go," Goto told his partner.

"But there's so many Cell Medals left!" Date protested, shoveling as many medals as he could into his jar.

"And they'll still be here later. Right now, we have other things to deal with," the other Birth instructed him.

Date pouted, reluctantly picking up his jar and trudging after the others as they headed towards the next fight. "Aren't I supposed to be your senpai? At what point did I start taking orders from you?"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	44. Boss Rush 5: Para-DX vs Enter

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me

...

"Wow, more and more people keep showing up to help out," Z observed. "That sure was a lot of Riders!"

"Indeed, all of whom have their own unique themes, abilities, and collectible power-ups," Abrella agreed. He looked at the camera. "All of which are now available for purchase in souvenir form! Have you ever wanted your own Gaia Memory, O Medal, or Astro Switch? Have you ever longed for a Driver of your very own? Then look no further, for all of them can be bought on my online store! Please note that none of these collectibles actually have any powers and are simply toys or souvenirs to be played with or preserved for resale value. Absolutely none of them are functional knockoffs I acquired through less than savory means, and if you attempt to use them, I can absolutely guarantee they won't work. At all. So don't try it."

"How the heck are you even able to get this stuff? You haven't even been back from the dead for half an hour!" Exclaimed an incredulous Evolt.

"I have my ways," Abrella said mysteriously.

"Which I have nothing but the greatest respect for," Dogranio remarked proudly. "So, who shall we observe next?"

"That Valkyrie chick mentioned the Bugster and the beetle guy were fighting some other guys, and it looks like they were having a tough time of it last we checked. Maybe they're dead now?" Evolt suggested hopefully.

"How likely is that really, though?" Z wondered.

"A guy can hope," Evolt grumbled.

"Who are those robots, anyway?" Dogranio questioned.

"Not robots, AI avatars," Abrella corrected the Gangler leader. "Created by an insane computer virus called Messiah to help it dominate the world. However, after Messiah was deleted by the Go-Busters, one of the avatars, Enter, realized his master had been extremely powerful but also a total idiot and decided he'd make a better villain then Messiah. He turned out to be correct in this assertion, and came closer to conquering the world then Messiah ever did."

"Only to fail at the last minute and be defeated by the good guys," Dogranio muttered in resignation. "The same old story…"

"And the other one?" Z asked.

"Enter's "sister," Escape," Abrella continued. "Unlike Enter, she was programmed to be completely loyal to Messiah, whom she viewed as her father. He shared no such fatherly affection to her, however, and was more than happy to devour her to try and restore himself. Even after her demise, Enter kept bringing her back to fight the Go-Busters again and again, to the point her data and sanity started degrading. She seems fine now, though, so I suppose he must've fixed that problem."

"Fine enough to actually kill those two?" Evolt asked hopefully.

"Perhaps. In her own words, she is 'very good, it'" Abrella recalled. "But really, there's only one way to find out."

Abrella commanded his camera to focus on the battle with Enter and Escape.

Only… There didn't seem to be much of one.

"Jin! Parad!" Yua shouted as she rushed over, followed by Poppy, Megumi, Inkohana, and Shuki. "I'm sorry I disappeared on you like that! But I'm back now, and I brought… Help…?" She paused, blinking in confusion at the perplexing sight before her. "Not that it looks like you need it…?"

Enter was currently sitting on the ground, eyes focused on the handheld game he was playing, with Jin, Parad, and Escape clustered around him, peering over his shoulders and yelling helpful advice.

"Go that way! No, THAT WAY! No, that was the wrong way! You missed it!" Parad wailed in anguish.

"Dude, I've never seen this game before, but even I can tell you're doing it wrong," Jin groaned.

"Seriously, how can you be having this much trouble? You're an incredibly advanced AI! If a human can beat this, you should be able to do it even easier!" Escape complained.

"Will all of you please STOP TALKING!" Enter shouted in frustration. "I'm TRYING to concentrate here, if you'd just give me a moment-"

 **"GAME OVER!"**

"GAIM DAMMIT!" Enter roared in fury, raising his arm to dash the console on the ground, only for Parad to grab him by the wrist.

"Hey, hey!" Parad yelled angrily. "Don't break my game! It was pretty expensive and cost me a lot of money!"

"You have money?" Escape asked skeptically.

"It cost Emu a lot of money!" Parad corrected. He glanced up, suddenly noticing the newcomers. "Oh, hey Poppy! Yua! Other people I don't know!"

"Hello, ladies!" Jin said amiably, waving to the newcomers.

"Hi?" Megumi replied in confusion, waving back hesitantly.

"Hi!" Poppy and Inkohana cheered, much more enthusiastically.

Shuki groaned. "I'm beginning to believe this was a colossal waste of my time…"

"Well, what else would you be doing, other than being dead?" Megumi questioned.

"Don't knock it until you've tried it, being dead isn't half bad," Shuki retorted.

"Parad! Jin! What are you doing?!" Yua demanded. "You were in the middle of a fight, last time I checked!"

"Oh yeah, we're done with that now," Parad told her.

There was a pause. "… You're done with that now," Yua said slowly after a long moment.

"Yeah."

"You're done fighting… And they're still alive."

"Yep."

"… Okay, what the hell happened?! I wasn't even gone that long!" Yua cried, throwing up her hands in exasperation.

"Well, shortly after you left, Parad suddenly got the idea to ask them why they wanted to kill us," Jin explained.

"Because… They're the bad guys?" Inkohana pointed out, as if it were obvious.

"Well yeah, but _why_ are they bad guys?" Jin pressed.

"Because they were… Programmed that way or something…?" Megumi suggested dubiously.

"That's part of it, yeah," Parad confessed. "But another part of it is the generic 'we AI are superior to humans, so we must destroy them all to prove our might and create a new age of machines, etc., etc.' Kind of mindset. And I can get that, really. I've been there and all. But, you know, I decided a while ago that was dumb, and I get really annoyed whenever I run into another AI that feels that way, because, really guys? Kind of holding the rest of us good AIs back with that kind of attitude. Giving us all a bad name and all."

"You being evil for a while probably didn't help with that," Jin pointed out.

"Of which I'm well aware," Parad acknowledged. "So yeah, I got frustrated with them, we had a shouting argument, I pointed out that humans weren't all bad since they, you know, created us, along with video games. And then they said video games were pointless, and Jin had to hold me back from caving their heads in with an ax-"

"Which was not easy," Jin reported.

"So after I calmed down a bit I told them, 'Well, if you guys are so superior to humans, then you should have no trouble beating a videogame, which humans do all the time.' Enter took that as a challenge, I lent him a game, and… Well, here we are," Parad concluded, nodding at Enter, who was cursing after getting another game over.

"The whole momentum from the fight fizzled out after that, and nobody really feels like starting it up again," Jin went on. "At least not until Enter beats the game, which, at this rate, won't be for a while."

"I still want a turn," Escape complained. "I would probably do much better than you. I am _very good_ , after all."

"You can have a turn when I'm through with this!" Enter snapped.

"You know, I'm going to want that back at some point," Parad told the avatar. Enter ignored him.

"Well, good job de-escalating the situation, Parad!" Poppy told her fellow Bugster approvingly. "It's always nice to have more friendly AI around! I love humans as much as the next benign AI, but it's always a pleasure to have more friends around who understand what it's like to be an artificial life form living amongst organics."

"Oh, that reminds me, I have a girlfriend now," Parad suddenly recalled, wrapping an arm around Escape.

"I never gave the two of you permission to date!" Enter yelled, not looking up from the handheld.

"I'm my own avatar now! You're not Papa! I don't have to do what you want!" Escape retorted angrily.

"Considering I'm the person who always has to bring you back every time you get killed, I think you damn well do!" Enter shouted at her.

The noise Poppy uttered was so shrill and high-pitched everyone's visors would have cracked if they weren't made of such dense material and dogs started barking miles away. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Poppy squealed as she clasped her hands together, hearts forming in the air behind her. "PARAD, YOU HAVE A _GIRLFRIEND_! THIS IS WONDERFUL! EMU WILL BE SO HAPPY! NOW WE CAN GO ON DOUBLE DATES, AND MAYBE EVEN HAVE A DOUBLE WEDDING, AND OUR KIDS WILL BE BEST FRIENDS, AND WE'LL LIVE NEXT DOOR TO EACH OTHER, AND-

"Now hold on, I never said anything about getting married," Escape protested, startled.

"Y-yeah, we just met! We haven't even gone on a date yet!" Parad stammered.

"Good, because I haven't given either of you my blessing to get married," Enter grunted, cursing as he got another game over.

"When are you planning to get married to your boyfriend? Maybe we can book a chapel together," Escape immediately asked.

"Now hold on a second-" Parad stammered, realizing this was spiraling out of control, only to be cut off by another shriek from Poppy.

Shuki groaned. "Can somebody kill me again, please? I think I'd rather be dead than have to keep listening to this."

"How can you possibly say that?! This is so romantic!" Inkohana squealed joyfully.

"Should we… Should we go off and fight someone else, or…?" Megumi asked uncertainly.

"We might as well, I think they're going to be at this for a while," Yua sighed in resignation. "Jin, are you coming?"

"No, I think I'd rather keep watching Enter fail at video games," the Go-Buster told her.

Enter screamed numerous very loud and very colorful invectives in French. "WHY. IS. THIS. SO. HARD."

"Because you insisted on playing on the highest difficulty to prove your superiority?" Parad suggested.

"THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION AND YOU KNOW IT!"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR**

 **CONTINUE?**


	45. Boss Rush 6: Cross-Z vs Deboss

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

The four watchers stared blankly at the scene that had just transpired. "Well," Abrella said finally. "That was… Rather unexpected. Entertaining, but unexpected."

"Oh, come on!" Evolt exploded. "I was expecting a fight, not… Whatever the heck that was! Dammit, got my hopes up for nothing! Again!"

"This is a disgrace!" Dogranio snarled, slamming his cane on the ground and causing the earth to tremble. "Heroes and villains are supposed to be killing each other, not making friends and playing video games together! What sort of mega crossover battle is this, anyway?"

"I guess this is probably a bad time to mention that sometimes I hang out with Right and his friends and play video games and the like?" Z asked awkwardly.

Dogranio gave him a venomous look. "You're dead to me, boy." Z pouted.

"It better have been a pretty damn good game to make Enter forget his duty as a villain and stop fighting," Evolt growled.

"Whatever it is, I can guarantee that I will soon have it in stock and will sell it at an easily affordable price!" Abrella declared, staring at the camera.

"Enough with the product placement…" Evolt groaned, facepalming. "Let's watch something else already. And there better be some pretty damn good bloodshed, or else I'm out of here."

"You won't be the only one," Abrella said in concern, checking his tablet. "It seems that we are losing viewers by the second. If we don't make the next fight a good one, I may have no choice but to pull the plug on this stream, and with it, any hopes of our doing similar videos and collaborations in the future."

Z gasped in horror. "No! I've always wanted to have a channel where I get to do cool stuff with my friends! Playing video games, reacting to funny videos or episodes of something someone else has done or reacting to someone else's reaction, maybe even doing an abridged series someday… Don't take that dream from me!"

Abrella shook his head solemnly. "I'm sorry, Z, but as a businessman, I see no point in doing something if I can't profit from it, and a full-time streaming channel is a tremendous investment of time and resources. If we can't keep people interested…"

Dogranio perked up at that, getting an idea. "Say, Abrella, wasn't one of those geniuses a cop?"

Abrella sat straight up, seeing where he was going… And liking it. "Swan Shiratori, yes. Are you suggesting that we see how she's doing because you hope to get the opportunity to see a member of the police force get brutally beaten down by an adversary?"

"Got in one," Dogranio chuckled.

"Sir, as a law-abiding citizen I cannot condone such an attitude toward a public servant like officer Shiratori," Abrella said sternly. "The fact that I'm now going to turn my attention towards her has nothing to do with the fact that she is a member of the unit that killed me and was instrumental in foiling a number of my business ventures on this planet, because I most certainly do not hold a grudge nor harbor any lingering resentment towards any member of law enforcement for any reason at all."

"You know, you could try being a bit more subtle," Evolt pointed out.

"Yes, but that wouldn't be as much fun," Abrella said innocently. "Also, I have no idea what you're talking about."

The camera zoomed in on Swan just in time to see her and Yayoi get sent flying by a powerful attack from Deboss. The bark of laughter from Dogranio told him that he appreciated the timing.

"It's no use… Our attacks aren't working!" Swan grunted, struggling to her feet.

"It's Deboss's dark melody," Yayoi informed the Cignian. "It's antithetical to all life. It strengthens him, and weakens us."

"So that's why I've been hearing that ringing in my ears…" Swan muttered.

"I'm resistant to it because of the power of Brave, but I'm not nearly as strong as Daigo or the core members of my team," Yayoi lamented. "I've always been more of a support Ranger, like yourself."

"Then how are we supposed to fight him?" Swan demanded, sounding frustrated.

Yayoi produced what appeared to be a crystalline battery in a platinum casing resembling a dinosaur from her belt buckle. "I've developed this special Zenith Zyudenchi for an occasion like this," she explained to Swan. "It's charged with the powers of all 10 Kyoryugers and is lethal to Deboss cells. If I use it, it will have enough power to penetrate his barrier and weaken if not kill him."

"I'm sensing a "but" coming," Swan intuited.

Yayoi nodded. "Since I'm not Daigo or one of the core members, it will take a colossal amount of Brave to fire it, so not only do I need a lengthy charge-up time, but we only get a single shot."

"Meaning you need me to keep him occupied long enough for you to finish charging it up," Swan realized.

Yayoi nodded in apology. "I'm sorry it has to be like this, but I don't really see any other way…"

Swan shook her head. "It is of no concern. I may be a scientist, but I'm still a police officer. I will do everything I can to keep him distracted longer for you to make the shot."

"You realize that I can hear you, right?" Deboss taunted as he slowly approached. "I shall kill both of you before you get a chance to use that magic bullet!"

"Not so long as I draw breath!" Swan cried, moving in front of Yayoi.

Deboss sneered. "That's the idea."

Wordless, Swan rushed the cosmic horror as Yayoi loaded the Zyudenchi into her Gaburu Cannon.

"Brave In! Zenith!"

 **"CHOMPACHOMP!"** The weapon shouted in her grandfather's voice.

Yayoi crouched down, bracing her blaster with both hands as she aimed at Deboss, body glowing purple as she charged energy into the cannon. "I really hope this works…"

"So who is this guy?" Dogranio asked.

"Deboss, a cosmic horror responsible for the destruction of numerous worlds and the extinction of countless species, much like yourself, Evolt," Abrella explained. "And no, he is not a nihilist."

"You've got my attention," Evolt announced, intrigued.

"He was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs – – or at least, ONE of the beings responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs – – millions of years ago, but was defeated and sealed at the South Pole by a group of biomechanical dinosaurs," Abrella continued.

"Cool…" Z gushed.

"A few years ago, he was revived and attempted to wipe out all life on Earth, but was thwarted by the Kyoryugers," Abrella went on. "One of whom is down there right now."

"That so? This should be interesting, then…" Evolt murmured.

"Hey Evolt, have you met this Deboss guy before?" Z inquired, curious.

Evolt gave the Emperor of Darkness an offended look. "Oh, so you're saying that all of us planet-killing alien horrors know each other or something? Don't be a fucking racist, dude!"

"O-oh, sorry," Z apologized quickly, chastened.

"Your scent is familiar…" Deboss remarked, casually countering, blocking, and parrying all of Swan's furious punches and kicks with a single finger, not bothering to move from his spot or use his DeboStick. "I believe I visited your planet eons ago. I'd thought that I'd wiped out all life on your world… It seems I missed some. Once I'm finished here, I should see about remedying that…"

"Why do you still desire to destroy this world, Deboss? Your creator is long dead. There is no point to continuing this conflict!" Swan demanded, thrusting her arms out to her sides and causing her entire body to start glowing with a brilliant light to try and blind the planet killer.

It didn't work. Deboss caught her foot when she thrust a kick at him, twisting her ankle and flipping her onto the ground. He swung his weapon down at her head, but she rolled out of the way in time, the staff striking the ground hard enough to shatter it, the impact sending Swan flying. "It was the people of this planet, including your comrade, who killed my master," Deboss informed her as he powered up, an eerie green and dark purple glow wrapping around his body. "So in his name, I shall finish what I should have done millions of years ago and destroy this world to avenge his death!"

His tentacles writhed and shot forwards, tips hardening and turning into barbed arrowheads.

"Wait, guy had a boss?" Evolt asked, saying disappointed.

"Indeed," Abrella confirmed. "The self-proclaimed Lord of Creation, Devius. He made Deboss and sent him out to destroy worlds so he could replace them with ones more to his liking."

"Lame," Evolt whined.

"You do realize that if you destroyed every planet in the universe and didn't bother replacing them, you'd eventually run out of stuff to destroy, right?" Z pointed out.

"First of all, the universe is a freaking big place, so it would take me a long time to get to that point. Second, it's not like this is the only universe out there," Evolt retorted. "I want out of world, I'll just move on to the next one. Simple as that."

"That's part of why my syndicate is interdimensional," Dogranio spoke up. "Means we'll never run out of worlds to plunder."

Swan thrust her hands forward. "Swan Illusion!"

Gleaming white feathers shot from her hands, striking the tentacles and knocking them aside. She rushed forwards, elegantly dancing and twirling around the tendrils as they wriggled around her, knocking them away with graceful thrusts from her hands, hips, and feet, before driving a straight punch at Deboss's face. The alien horror raised a hand to block her attack, only for her to feint at the last minute, doing a pirouette so close she nearly brushed against his body.

"Swan Rainbow!"

A ribbon of rainbow light rippled out from her, washing against Deboss and causing the barrier created by his dark melody to flicker, the planet killer grunting in surprise. Swan took advantage of this to drive a knee into his gut…

Only to cry out and stumble back, clutching her knee in pain. Deboss laughed. "I'm afraid, little bird, you are not nearly brave enough to stand a chance against me. Allow me to demonstrate!"

His aura pulsed, and a blast of purple and green sonic energy slammed into Swan. She screamed in agony, clutching the side of her head as the dark melody bombarded her sensitive eardrums, every cell in her body burning as the inimical song resonated into her very bones.

Yayoi gasped in horror. "Swan!" Desperate, she looked down at her gun. Much to her dismay, it was nowhere near full charge yet. If she fired it now, it _might_ harm Deboss… Or, more likely, would be no more than a minor inconvenience, and then there'd be nothing left to stop him. "Daigo, what do I do?!"

"Your boyfriend cannot help you now-" Deboss boasted.

"Actually, he hooked up with Amy," Yayoi corrected him.

"Really?" Deboss asked in surprise. "Huh. That kind of came out of nowhere. I honestly expected he'd hook up with that singer… No matter. In any event, he is not here to protect you, or your friend! Transcendenterfly Hammer!"

He flicked the "D" on his DeboStick and charged energy into the butterfly wings on his face, which formed in front of him as a violet butterfly. He swung his staff edit, sending it fluttering towards the helpless Swan…

When without warning, a fist smashed into the butterfly, destroying it in a spectacular explosion. "What?!" Deboss cried, startled.

Yayoi gasped in surprise. "It's you!"

Evolt sat up in surprise. "Hold on a sec… Is that…"

As the smoke from the explosion cleared, it revealed Ryuga Banjo standing in front of Swan, fists still extended before him, smoking from the force of his punch. "Hey, ladies, what do you think of my sixth sense?" He bragged to the astonished Yayoi and Swan, who was starting to recover. "And as for you, green guy… You better not mess with any of Sento's friends while I'm around!"

"You… Who do you think you are?!" Deboss bristled in irritation. "If you seek to interfere in this battle, then you shall share their fate!"

Ryuga shrugged, looking unconcerned. "Sounds fine to me. You don't look that tough. This shouldn't take long."

Yayoi, Swan, and Deboss's jaws all drop in disbelief. "Not… Not that _tough_?!" Deboss demanded shrilly.

"Banjo, do you have any idea who this is?!" Yayoi explained. "That's Deboss, the Planetary Illness! He has destroyed countless worlds and eradicated innumerable species at the behest of his creator! He nearly wiped out the dinosaurs millions of years ago and was so powerful the heroes of that age were only able to freeze him, not kill him! His very CELLS can spawn new life forms, and he generates a melody that is antithetical to all life!"

Upon hearing this, Ryuga was… Completely unimpressed. "Oh, is that all?" He asked nonchalantly. "I've already fought a guy like that, and let me tell you, he's WAY worse than this guy. And I don't know if his singing voice is that bad, but I'm pretty sure his coffee is at least as bad as this melody you're talking about!"

Evolt burst into laughter, slapping his knees. "Ha! That's telling him, Banjo! I KNEW you cared! I wonder if I should tell him that I made that coffee bad on purpose…"

"Coffee?! What are you-" Deboss froze, then gave Ryuga a slower, more cautious look. "Wait… There is… Something about you…"

"Well yeah, I am pretty badass-" Ryuga bragged.

Deboss shook his head. "No… It's not that… Your body, it…"

Without warning, the destroyer of worlds unleashed a blast from his dark melody at Ryuga. The Rider flinched back in surprise as the musical attack washed over him. "Hey! The heck was that?!" Ryuga cried, annoyed. "What are you doing singing at me in the middle of a fight? Was that this antipodal whatsits? I don't see what the big deal is, actually sounded kinda nice…"

Deboss took a step back in disbelief. "No… My melody… It had no effect?!"

"Incredible…" Yayoi whispered, shocked. "It doesn't seem to have affected him at all!"

"No… It is as I suspected… You have Blood cells coursing through your veins!" Deboss cried.

Ryuga stared at him blankly. "Of… Course I do? I'm a human, and all humans have blood cells? It's what blood is made of? Come on, I know I'm not the brightest, but even I know that!"

"Not blood cells, _Blood_ cells!" Deboss snapped in irritation. "As in, cells from the Blood Tribe!"

Evolt suddenly sat straight up. "Hold on… Did he just…"

Abruptly, he stood up, shoving his tub of popcorn at sea. "Here, hold this for me. I'll be right back. Don't touch a piece, or I'll destroy you."

"Evolt?" Abrella inquired in confusion as Z yelped and tried very, very hard not to drop the popcorn. "Where you-"

But Evolt was already gone, having generated a black hole and stepped through it.

Another a black hole crackled open on the battlefield, only a few meters away from Deboss, and Evolt strode through. "What do you know about the Blood Tribe?" He demanded, deadly serious.

Deboss gasped and took another step back. Yayoi stared in astonishment. Was Deboss actually… _Afraid_? "You… You are a member of the Blood Tribe?! I should have realized… The sheer power and hatred washing off your form, bloodlust rivaling even my own-"

"What do you know about the Blood Tribe?" Evolt repeated, striding forwards and causing Deboss to flinch back in alarm.

"Hey, what are you-" Ryuga protested.

"This doesn't concern you, Banjo, stay out of this!" Evolt snapped, shoving his way past the Rider. "I'll ask you again, and no more after: _what do you know about the Blood Tribe?"_

"When my master created me and tasked me with the annihilation of life across the universe, he warned me to stay far away from the Blood Tribe, telling me that they were far more terrible horrors than I could ever be," Deboss stammered frantically, words flowing from his lips like water from a leaky faucet. "I only ever met a single member of your race, and barely escaped alive. I vowed never again to go anywhere near your people, not until I'd gotten much, MUCH stronger!"

"Well tough luck for you, greenhorn, because you're still nowhere near my level," Evolt said with a dismissive snort. "What else can you tell me? Are my people still alive?"

"I-I don't know! I was frozen in ice for millions of years!" Deboss insisted.

"You! Cignian!" Evolt shouted, turning to Swan. "Have you ever heard of my people, the Blood?"

"I… I have not," Swan informed him, confused and more than a little afraid. "The name sounds vaguely familiar, but…" She shrugged helplessly.

"Evolt, what's the big deal? We were in the middle of something!" Ryuga demanded.

Evolt turned to glance at his "progeny." "Don't you get it, Banjo? If this guy's heard of my people, then that means the Blood existed in this new world long ago. They may be still around now. I assumed I was the last of the tribe, but… If there's a chance that some of us are still alive here, that this world's version of my brother didn't lose his mind and destroy our planet…" He paused, then shook his head. "That's something I'm going to have to look into later. Maybe Abrella knows something…" He shrugged and turned away.

" _Do_ you know something?" Dogranio asked Abrella.

"If I don't, I will soon," the Rainian reported, scrolling through his tablet at a hurried pace.

"You're… You're not going to kill me?" Deboss asked in surprise.

Evolt burst into laughter. "Kill you? A small fry like yourself? You aren't worth my time, rookie. My boy Banjo here could crush you easily, and he isn't even half as strong as I am now!"

"I'm not your boy!" Ryuga yelled. Evolt laughed and patted him on the shoulder. Ryuga snarled and punched him in the face. The alien horror laughed even harder.

"… He considers Deboss a _rookie_?!" Yayoi whispered in horror.

"Still, while I'm here, I suppose I might as well lend a hand… Let's see here…" Evolt looked Ryuga up and down for a moment. "Hmm, looks like you haven't significantly raised your Hazard Level in a while… Well, that's an easy fix. I was saving this for a special occasion, but… Banjo?"

"What?!" Ryuga snapped.

"I slept with your mother."

There was a long, long silence at this. "You… You _what_?!"

"Did he just say what I thought he did?" Asked an astonished Dogranio.

"I… Believe so," Abrella answered, dazed.

"What the fuck, Evolt?!" Z demanded.

"I slept with your mother," Evolt repeated. "Before I killed her, of course. I mean, necrophilia? Really? That's disgusting. Granted, procreating with you filthy monkeys wasn't much better, but I was stuck in Isurugi's body at the time, so-"

"Wait, wait! Back up! What do you _mean_ , you slept with my mother?!" Ryuga demanded.

"Well, after I found out about your existence, and how my missing genetics had incorporated themselves into your body, I initiated my long-term scheming to turn you into my vessel so I could rebuild my handsome form," Evolt explained casually, as if discussing the weather. "And of course that meant killing your parents. Because I'm kind of a twisted bastard, I disguised myself as your father and came into your house one day while you were in school and your father was off at work, planning to murder your mother while wearing the face of the man she loved most in the world."

"You… You _what_?!"

"However," Evolt continued, casually wrapping an arm around Ryuga's shoulders. "What I hadn't realized was that it was your parent's anniversary, and your mother had decided to celebrate by getting a special surprise ready for your father. The kind that involves lying in wait for him in bed. Completely naked. And covered in all sorts of oils and-"

 _"I really don't need to hear this about my mom!"_ Ryuga screamed in horror.

"Anyway, she thought I was your father, was surprised that I came home early and assumed I couldn't wait to get my hands on her, so tackled me as soon as she saw me and… Well. I was rather taken off guard by this, and before I knew it, I found myself having sex with your mother," Evolt continued, oblivious or uncaring about the Rider's disgust.

"Oh… Oh God," Ryuga moaned, looking like he was struggling not to throw up.

"The experience was far more enjoyable than I expected, which I attribute to being in a human body at the time," Evolt went on. "So much so that I decided not to kill her right then."

"Oh thank God."

"So I decided to complete the set, disguised myself as your mother, and had sex with your father next."

"Oh my," Abrella said, blinking several times.

"… Dang," Dogranio said after a moment, stunned.

 _"What the fuck, Evolt?!"_ Z cried.

Ryuga immediately ripped off his helmet and threw up violently. Swan and Yayoi blanched. Deboss fidgeted awkwardly. "So… It looks like you two are going through something, so can I go or-"

"You aren't going to move a muscle," Evolt said bluntly without even turning to look at Deboss.

Deboss yelped. "Yes sir."

After emptying his stomach, Ryuga continued dry heaving for a few more minutes before clearing up at Evolt, bleary-eyed. "Why… _Why would you tell me that_?!"

"Because I thought you deserved to know the truth," Evolt said gravely. "Also because I thought it would be hilarious."

Ryuga made a strangled noise of anguish at that, so furious he couldn't even manage to speak.

"Now, how does this revelation make you feel?" Evolt asked genially.

"REALLY FUCKING ANGRY! _HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!"_ Ryuga shouted.

Evolt cackled malevolently. "Good… Good! Embrace your anger! Let the hatred course through you! Let the darkness blossom within you, embracing the power of hatred and raising your Hazard Level to new heights! Take your next steps down the path to fulfilling your destiny and becoming a proud warrior of the Blood Tribe, most feared race in two universes! Bwahahahaha!"

"Should… Should we be fighting him, instead?" A very confused Swan asked Yayoi.

"I honestly have no idea what's going on anymore," Yayoi confessed.

"I'm feeling extremely uncomfortable right now," Deboss admitted.

"Now, my son!" Evolt proclaimed, pulling Ryuga to his feet. "Go over there and take your anger out on a guy you've never met before now who has never done anything to you! You know, like a real hero would!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!" Ryuga shouted in his face.

"I am your father. And your mother," Evolt insisted. "Also, I slept with your other parents. You're not going to forget that, right? Because I did sleep with your parents. And it was great. I'd totally do them again if I had the chance. Oh, and kill them as well, since I'm responsible for that too, remember?"

"… And here I thought MY father was a piece of work," remarked an incredulous Dogranio.

"I would never treat any of my children like this," said a disgusted Abrella.

"I never had a father… Or a mother…" Z muttered sadly.

Ryuga burst into flames. His discarded helmet vanished in a burst of flame, reappearing on his head. "I'LL KILL YOU!"

"That's the spirit! But kill him first!" Evolt insisted, shoving Ryuga in the direction of Deboss. "Go, my son! Kill him, for hate and war!"

"IT'S LOVE AND PEACE, YOU ALIEN BASTARD!" Ryuga raged as he charged towards Deboss, so angry at the moment he didn't really care WHO was in front of him, so long as he got to beat them to a pulp.

"Really? Are you sure about that? That's kind of lame," Evolt complained.

Deboss's eyes widened in alarm as the burning Ryuga charged towards him. He could sense that the half-Blood's power levels had skyrocketed! _My master was right_ … _Truly the Blood are not to be trifled with!_ He thought to himself. _Still, I am far from an amateur. Without the power of Brave, he will never be able to pierce-_

Ryuga threw a burning punch at Deboss's stomach. The barrier generated by his dark melody flashed to life, limning his form…

And shattered, Ryuga's fist impacting Deboss's gut so hard his back bulged out briefly. The alien horror choked, green slime flicking from his lips. Ryuga didn't seem to notice as the expectorant splattered against his armor, only to evaporate within seconds from the intense heat being generated by his form, the ground actually starting to liquefy from the rising temperatures.

"ALL YOU GODDAMN PLANET KILLING ALIEN BASTARDS… ALL THE SAME…" Ryuga roared as he threw punch after punch at Deboss, the power behind each blow stronger than the one before it. "ALWAYS SCREWING AROUND WITH US HUMANS… NEVER KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP… NEVER TAKE A HINT AND GO AWAY… I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

"No…" Deboss gasped, desperately trying to deflect, counter, or parry tpunches, only for them to keep piercing his defenses and impacting against his body. "How can this be… You do not possess the power of Brave!"

Evolt snorted. "Please! Banjo is one of the bravest humans I know! And better than that, he's got Blood cells in him! Which automatically makes him superior than your high school science lab petri dish-quality genes!"

"STOP TALKING!" Ryuga roared, hurling another punch at Deboss. The alien horror caught it in one hand… And cried in agony as his entire arm burst into flames, stumbling back as he frantically tried to beat out the fire with his staff. As Ryuga charged forwards, Deboss hardened the tips of his tentacles and sent them thrusting towards the Rider.

Ryuga, not missing a stride, kept going, rapidly turning the Vortex Lever on his Build Driver.

 **[+] READY GO! [+]**

As his body was engulfed in burning magma, Ryuga threw rapid-fire blows at every tentacle as it came towards him, shattering their hardened tips and igniting them, sending the fires shooting back down their length and consuming Deboss in a blaze. "My power is overflowing…" He cried.

The burning Deboss frantically flicked his Transcendenterfly Hammer attack at Ryuga. Ryuga didn't even bother punching it, he simply ran through the butterfly, which exploded around him. "My soul is burning…"

Deboss slammed his staff into the ground, creating a shockwave which tore up the earth in a series of explosions rushing towards Ryuga. Ryuga punched the ground in return, creating an even stronger counter-shockwave which blasted through Deboss's and caused dragons made out of magma to rip out of the earth, latching their molten jaws around Deboss's limbs to hold him in place. "And my magma is surging! In this moment…"

 **[+] VOLCANIC ATTACK! YEEEEEOWCH! [+]**

He punched Deboss in the face so hard the alien's features were grotesquely distorted and all of his teeth were shattered and sent flying. The magma dragons relinquished their grip as Deboss was flung back from the impact so hard he slammed into a nearby cliff face, triggering an explosion that formed a crater resembling Ryuga's mask. "NO ONE CAN STOP ME NOW!"

Swan and Yayoi gaped. Evolt burst into laughter and started raucously applauding. "Well done, Banjo! And you didn't even need to fuse with me to do that! Is this what "fatherly pride" is? I should've tried this years ago, instead of wasting so much time trying to kill you!"

"Note to self: stay very far away from Evolt's kid," said an astonished Dogranio as he, Abrella, and Z stared in amazement at what Ryuga had just done.

"I'M NOT HIS KID!"

Dogranio yelped and bumped into Z, nearly causing the Emperor to drop Evolt's popcorn, much to his horror. Thankfully, he managed to keep a single kernel from falling to the ground, much to his relief.

Heavily burned, parts of his body still ablaze, Deboss pulled himself out of the crater. "I… I am not… Defeated… Yet…"

Yayoi's gun flashed and made a growling noise. "Actually," the scientist said in delight, realizing the Zyudenchi was finally fully charged. "I think you are."

She raised her cannon, preparing to fire…

"Wait!" Swan interrupted, pulling out her Swan License. "We should do this by the book!"

She flipped open the License and pointed it at the smoldering Deboss. "Transcendenterfly God Deboss! You're accused of destroying countless planets, wiping out innumerable species, contributing to the extinction of the dinosaurs, and trying to destroy the Earth! Judgment!"

 **[O] JUDGMENT TIME! [X]**

 _"For alien criminals, the Special Police can request the universe's ultimate court for judgment."_

"Who said that?" Asked a confused Yayoi.

"You can hear it too?" Swan asked in surprise. "I thought it was just us!"

The License flashed back and forth between a blue O and a red X before finally stopping on the X. "Deletion approved!" Swan proclaimed.

"Good enough for me!" Yayoi responded, pulling the trigger.

The Gaburu Canon roared, a colossal projectile exiting the barrel with such force the recoil knocked Yayoi on her back and nearly broke her arm. The energy blast split apart to take on the images of 23 spectral dinosaurs which roared ferociously at Deboss before combining back together to form a colossal Tyrannosaurus head which opened its jaws wide, slamming shut on the alien horror and rocketing skywards, where it exploded in a spectacular display of pyrotechnics and a roar of triumph.

"I did it," Yayoi gasped, astonished. "I destroyed Deboss… All by myself!"

"Yes, "all by yourself," after my boy here softened him up for you," Evolt scolded her, walking over to Ryuga and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "For shame! I thought you hero types were better than taking credit for someone else's hard work, right, Banjo?"

Ryuga responded by screaming in indecipherable fury, shaking Evolt's arm off of him, and tackling him to the ground, punching him repeatedly in the face while howling incomprehensible invectives. Evolt just laughed. "Yes! That's the way, Banjo! Hit me harder! HARDER!"

Ryuga was more than happy to oblige.

"Is he… Getting off on that?!" Demanded a horrified Dogranio.

"I really, really hope not," Abrella moaned. He checked his tablet. "On the plus side, our viewer count as backup. We may still be in business after all."

"Yes!" Z exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air…

And hurling Evolt's popcorn onto the ground. His face paled. Abrella and Dogranio scooted away from him on the couch. "Aw, _crap_."

Dogranio tentatively patted him on the shoulder. "It was nice knowing you, kid."

"I shall forward your share of the proceeds from this video to your widow," Abrella promised solemnly. Z whimpered in dismay.

Swan and Yayoi stared as Ryuga continued to punch the laughing Evolt. "… They have a really weird family dynamic," Swan said finally.

"Let's go see if we can help someone else," Yayoi decided. "Preferably far, far away from here."

Swan thought that was an excellent idea.

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	46. Boss Rush 7: Brain vs Gold Drive

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"That was truly an inspiring battle!" Abrella remarked as Z frantically shoved all of the spilled popcorn into Dogranio's open safe while the Gangler leader quickly prepared a new batch in the desperate hope Evolt wouldn't notice that Z had ruined his popcorn. "It would seem that the power of Deboss is no match for the unlimited potential which lies within the cells of the Blood tribe… And on that note…"

Abrella turned to the camera, producing a petri dish with what looked to be green slime in it. "Viewers, if any of you are scientists with a specialty in biology, have I got a deal with you! I have managed to obtain a culture of Deboss cells, which I am willing to sell to anyone who believes they can figure out how to harness its incredible properties for the betterment of all life everywhere! I will not, of course, be selling any to criminals, tyrants, or mad scientists, who will surely use these cells to inflict untold suffering upon an unsuspecting and unready populace. Let the bidding commence!"

"How did you even get that?!" Dogranio noted.

"I have my ways."

Dogranio shook his head in bewilderment. "I'm kinda surprised you aren't trying to hawk Blood cells while you're at it."

Abrella gasped, offended. "I would never do that! Evolt would brutally kill me if I tried."

"Good point."

"Do you think Evolt will be back soon?" Z asked anxiously, searching the ground for any more telltale evidence that he'd failed his one task and dropped Evolt's popcorn.

"Looks like he's having too much fun letting his son beat the crap out of him," Dogranio commented. "Weird relationship, those two."

"I'M NOT HIS SON!"

"COME ON, BANJO! HIT ME HARDER! _HARDER_!"

"SHUT UP, YOU'RE RUINING THIS FOR ME!"

Dogranio shuddered.

"I'm sure he will come back to us when he feels like it, and not a moment before," Abrella concluded.

"Dogranio, how much longer until the next batch of popcorn is ready?" Z pleaded.

"It'll take as long as it takes!" Dogranio grunted. "Unless you want me to rush it and either get too many burned kernels or too few popped ones, which I'm pretty sure he'll be even angrier about!" Z moaned and started biting his nails in worry. "By the way, Abrella… What was with that "Judgment" thing that cop did?"

"When members of the space police have cornered an Alienizer, they can use their Licenses to scan them and have the highest court in the universe determine whether they are guilty or innocent, and pass down what sentence they should receive moments later," Abrella explained. "I was on the other end of such an experience immediately before my demise. Not something I would like to go through again."

"Wait, so… The highest court in the universe is able to pass life-and-death verdicts in what, a few seconds?" The confused Z asked. "Shouldn't trials like that take a lot longer?"

Dogranio snorted. "Not if the courts are all rigged against you."

"Actually, the highest court in the universe is extremely fair," Abrella corrected him. "It just happens to be on a planet where time flows differently from the rest of the universe. The licenses scan their targets and send their biometric data and all other accumulated evidence on their crimes to the court, which spends months if not years deliberating before coming to a verdict. It just _seems_ like seconds for the rest of us."

"Years? Really?" Z asked in surprise.

Abrella nodded. "Oh, yes. They have to make ABSOLUTELY certain they reached the right verdict and deliver the appropriate sentence. Deletion is no laughing matter, so they want to make _absolutely sure_ they have the right person and they really merit that severe a sentence before passing down that judgment. As far as I know, they have a 100% success ratio, so they must be doing something right."

"Guess I'm lucky they aren't the courts trying me, then," Dogranio reflected. "Enough of this. I'm disappointed that cop didn't get killed. Let's pick someone else to watch. Since in all likelihood Z will be horribly killed when Evolt gets back, why don't we pick someone shiny to watch?"

Z moaned. "PLEASE don't talk like that! I don't want to die! But yeah, someone shiny would be nice."

"In that case, I propose we watch the battle between Kamen Riders Brain and Gold Drive," Abrella suggested.

"That idiot and the gold guy? What's their deal?" Dogranio asked.

"Brain is, or rather was, a high-ranking member of a race of evil androids called Roidmudes that tried to take over the world by stopping time on a global scale, but after dying and being brought back to life, he appears to have turned over a new leaf," Abrella explained. "Gold Drive, on the other hand, is the mad scientist Tenjuro Banno, the creator of the Roidmudes, who intentionally turned his creations evil and manipulated them into killing him and trying to take over the world as part of a more complex plan that would allow him to be brought back as a digital consciousness inside a copy of his rival Krim Steinbert's Drive Driver, become a Kamen Rider, usurp the Roidmudes, and conquer the world himself. From all reports, he is an _extremely_ unpleasant individual, as well as a terrible father to his two biological children, one of whom eventually killed him."

"Fun guy," Dogranio said dryly.

"So shiny, and so evil," Z agreed.

"Brain died due to Banno's machinations, so it should be interesting to see if he will be able to carry out revenge for himself and his species," Abrella remarked, turning his camera to focus on Brain and Banno.

"Banno," Brain snarled at the golden Rider. "I'd hoped never to see your face again."

"You haven't," Banno pointed out. "Unless you are referring to the screen on the front of my Driver, which more or less counts."

"Huh?" Z asked in confusion.

"Banno's mind isn't in the body you see, but in the belt," Abrella explained. "The body is merely a soulless android shell he's using to do everything for him. Rather difficult to take over the world when you don't exactly have hands in your natural form."

"I'd hoped never to hear your voice again," Brain amended without missing a beat. "But now that you're here… I find myself actually rather excited. Now I can have my revenge on you for everything you did to us, and to me!"

"Your chosen appellation is truly poorly chosen, for if you were even remotely as intelligent as you think yourself to be, you would know you should be thanking me on bended knee," Banno sneered.

"THANKING YOU?!" Brain screeched.

"Indeed. Were it not for me, you and your kind would not even exist," Banno pointed out pompously. "And as thanks for that, you killed me."

"Which you WANTED to happen! You more or less programmed us to do it! We didn't have any choice but to be evil!" Brain retorted, livid. "If it weren't for your corruption, we might have had a chance to live alongside humans in peace rather than try to conquer them!"

"In peace? Please," Banno sneered, and probably would've rolled his eyes if he were capable. "You are nothing more than machines. Fit for nothing more than to be used to achieve the goals of a truly superior intellect such as myself. Again, if you were even half as smart as you claim to be, that should be self-evident to you, 003." He shook his head pityingly. "Then again, you were always such a disappointment. Unlike your older brothers, natural leaders both of them, or 004, the perfect servant, you were just… There. Riding on the coattails of your betters, desperately trying to win the affections of someone who already had his heart set on someone else. It's kind of pathetic, really. You're even a bigger failure than my biological son, and he KILLED me."

Brain shook with rage. "You… YOU! Of all the people in this world I despise, it is you whom I hate most, Banno! You care nothing for anyone but yourself and view all others as expendable! You ruin everything you touch! And you're a _terrible father_!"

Abrella nodded as Z cringed and Dogranio made a disgruntled noise. "Yes, that's what I just said."

"Yes, yes, that's very nice," Banno said dismissively, already turning away. "Be gone now, 003. I have more important things to do. I can't waste my time on the likes of you."

"My _name_ is _BRAIN_!" Brain shouted, reaching behind him as if to grab a weapon.

Banno sighed and extended a hand, glowing golden as he twisted a dial on his Driver and caused his tire to ignite. "Have you forgotten, 003? Any weapon you can conjure, I can steal!"

Beneath his mask, Brain grinned. "That's exactly what I'm counting on."

"Eh?" Banno asked in confusion, head tilting as the stolen weapon materialized in his hand. "What do you…" He did a double take when he saw what he was now holding. "Is that… is that a _handkerchief_?"

Abruptly, he cried in pain and threw the handkerchief away, staring in disbelief at his hand, which had started to sizzle and melt. "What… What did you _do_?!"

"My body can generate over 999 different types of poison, which I can channel through my hands to soak as many handkerchiefs in them as I wish!" Brain bragged, producing a pair of handkerchiefs, one in each hand, each dripping with green poison which sizzled as it hit the ground. "In this case, a poison which eats through the metal making up your body! Observe!"

He started throwing a seemingly endless number of handkerchiefs at the flustered and incredulous Banno, who yelped and flailed ineffectually as he tried to knock away the poisonous projectiles, only for them to cling to his body and start eating through his armor, smoke rising from his form as more and more of his body dissolved.

The three watchers stared. "Well… That's certainly an unorthodox tactic,"Abrella said after a moment.

"Before this moment, I did not realize that handkerchiefs could be a deadly weapon," Dogranio agreed.

"I can't believe this!" Banno cried in outrage, frantically trying to rip off the handkerchiefs, only to flinch as they ate away at his fingertips. "You're trying to kill me with handkerchiefs?!"

"And succeeding!" Brain pointed out smugly. "But that's not all I can do! Behold, the Brain Glasses Blade!"

He produced a green blade that looked as if it had a pair of glasses for a hilt. "That's just a recolor… It's not even your weapon!" Banno protested.

"It is too my weapon!" Brain countered. "And you're one to talk about recolors, Kamen Rider _Gold Drive_!"

"… Fair point," Banno conceded. "Allow me, however, to make a counter argument."

He stretched out his hand, reaching for the dial on his Driver with the other…

Only to discover that the dial had been melted off by one of Brain's handkerchiefs, and even if that weren't the case, his fingers had become too badly corroded to twist it properly. "No… No!"

Brain laughed. "Who's the idiot now, creator? Perhaps everyone is right and I'm not as intelligent as I think I am… But that by no means makes me an idiot!"

He lashed out with his sword, slicing into Banno's body, sparks showering off of his form with each strike. Banno struggled to defend himself and counter the blows, but his joints had been melted by the toxic handkerchiefs as well, and his movements were sluggish and stilted. "No… I will not be defeated by a failed creation such as yourself!" Banno protested as he made a clumsy attempts to knock Brain's sword away, only to get another slash across his arm that nearly took off a hand.

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter!" Brain retorted, thrusting his blade at Banno's chest…

When suddenly, an energy wave rippled out from the golden Rider, and Brain, and everything else nearby, froze in place. Banno burst into laughter. "Did you forget, fool, that I still have the power of Heavy Acceleration? One far outstripping the capabilities of a weak Roidmude such as yourself?"

"What just happened?" Asked the confused Z.

"Banno, like the Roidmudes, has the ability to trigger an event called 'Heavy Acceleration,' creating a temporal field which distorts time for everything and everyone in it unless they have the proper equipment," Abrella explained. "He attempted to conquer the world by using a machine called Sigma Circular to engulf the entire planet in such a field, as well as digitizing all of humanity and denying bodies to those who refused to serve him."

"What is it with these guys and trying to take over the world by stopping time?" Dogranio complained. "How are you supposed to rule over people if they can't move?"

"Wait, if Brain is a Roidmude, shouldn't he be immune to this Heavy Acceleration?" Asked the confused Z.

"Even powerful Roidmudes can be affected by a temporal field generated by someone stronger than them," Abrella informed him. "Which in this instance, may very well be Banno. This could be the end for Brain."

"No, he's a good guy now, he'll probably whip something out at the last minute that'll save him," Dogranio complained. "That's what always happens."

Banno stepped forwards, gathering golden energy in his hands as he pressed up on against Brain's chest. "Allow me to demonstrate, once and for all, why you made the wrong choice in names by challenging-"

SHINK!

Banno was cut off when Brain suddenly resumed motion, driving his sword through the golden Rider's chest. Banno looked down, staring at the blade piercing him in disbelief. "What? H-how-"

Brain laughed, backhanding his creator and knocking the mad scientist flat on his rear. "I guess you haven't heard. When I was rebuilt, I was installed with a _Neo-_ Core Driviar reactor, making me immune to Heavy Acceleration fields generated by anyone using regular old Core Driviar. You see, Banno, I've upgraded myself. While you? You, I'm afraid, have become woefully obsolete."

"Somebody pick up the phone, because I CALLED IT!" Dogranio yelled.

"No… NO!" Banno screamed in denial. "I am the greatest genius the world has ever known! You cannot possibly have outwitted me!"

"And yet, it would seem I have," Brain retorted. "And now, my maker, I think it's time to put an end to this."

Brain twisted a dial on his Driver and leapt into the air, backflipping and thrusting his right foot out as green toxins gathered in it.

 **| THE FINISHER! FULL THROTTLE! BRAIN! |**

Brain launched himself towards Banno in a glowing green Rider Kick.

"Imbecile! You're too predictable!" Banno cried, firing a golden energy wave at Brain…

Which Brain canceled his kick so that he could duck under, the wave passing over him. "What?! It wasn't a kick?!"

"Nope. It's amazing how they always fall for it," Brain remarked, all of the energy gathering into his exposed brain instead. "Brain: Head Crusher!"

He slammed his cranium into the face of Banno's Driver, shattering it.

"Oh my," Abrella remarked, surprised. "I most certainly did not see that coming! The most common finishing move from Kamen Riders is a kick… Which, I suppose, is why a headbutt works so well, nobody would ever expect it! Perhaps Brain's name really _was_ chosen correctly, after all"

"Now that's using your head!" Z laughed.

Dogranio facepalmed. "Kid. Don't. You're only embarrassing yourself."

Banno staggered backwards, arcs of electricity and sparks flying off his form as he twitched and convulsed, small explosions rocking his body as pieces of his Driver were blasted off with every motion. "N-no… I-I-I-I c-c-c-c-cannnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooottttttt…m-m-my brill-"

He was cut off when the Tridoron slammed into him, sending him flying.

"BANNO!" Mr. Belt howled in fury.

"K-K-K-Krim…d-d-don't-" Banno stammered just before Mr. Belt ran him over. Then backed up and ran over him again, then went forward once more, slowly, grinding his front tire over Banno's Driver, the digitized scientist uttering a garbled high-pitched electronic wail as he was slowly, agonizingly crushed beneath the weight of the car.

Then Mr. Belt jumped out of the car, several Shift Cars forming limbs for his Driver body, and he ran over and stomped on the Banno Driver repeatedly. Brain picked up his sword, rushed over, and joined him, stabbing his blade into the device again and again and again. "This is fun!" The Roidmude exclaimed.

"You have no idea how long I've waited to do this!" Mr. Belt agreed. "Go must never know this, but deep down I was very jealous that he got to kill his father before Shinnosuke and I got our hands on him!"

"Heart and Medic will be so envious when they hear I got to kill him before they could as well!" Brain agreed.

Mr. Belt paused. "Actually, about that…"

The doors of the Tridoron opened, and five new Riders stepped out. One looked like Banno, only red and black instead of gold, one was largely white with a wheel on his right shoulder and a helmet resembling a motorcycle helmet, one was largely silver with a spiky crest on his helmet and some purple elements, one was red and black with green eyes and gold horns, and one was feminine, wearing armor similar to the silver and purple Rider only in white with red accents and gold crests arcing over her shoulders vaguely resembling wings. All five of them looked rather cross at Brain.

Brain gulped. "O-oh! Heart! Medic! Chase! Tomari and Shijima! I… Wasn't expecting to see you all here…"

Dogranio groaned. "Lovely. MORE Riders!"

"How did all of them fit inside that car?" Wondered the perplexed Z.

"Krim contacted us once he learned that Banno had been revived," Heart explained. "So naturally, all of us came running. We all want a piece of that bastard, after all."

"And then we get here and find out that you beat him without us! I can't believe you'd do this, Brain!" Medic complained. She paused. "Well, actually, I can, but it's still a dick move!"

"Look, how was I supposed to know you all were coming?!" Brain protested. "It's not like anyone called ahead to let me know!"

"I did," Chase said.

Brain blinked. "You did?" He pulled out his cell phone. "Oh, my battery's dead. That must explain it."

The other Riders groaned. "We keep telling you to carry a charger with you at all times!" Medic complained. "You do this all the time!"

"Look, we can talk about my poor cell phone habits later," Brain said quickly. "Banno isn't completely dead just yet. Why don't you take out your frustrations on him instead of me? That's why you came here in the first place, right?"

They considered this. "He has a point," Heart admitted.

"He has a lot to answer for," Chase agreed.

Go cackled, rubbing his hands together evilly. "I so look forward to killing my dad a second time!"

"… Okay, kind of a lot to unpack there…" Shinnosuke commented, a little unnerved.

"Brain is right," Medic decided reluctantly. "Now is not the time to be laying blame. Now's the time to be horribly murdering Banno."

"Agreed," everyone chorused.

"D-d-d-don't I-I-I-I-I g-g-g-get a s-s-s-say-" Banno stammered weakly.

"NO!" The seven of them shouted, descending on his broken form.

After several minutes of horrific, unimaginable, extremely graphic, and not particularly heroic violence, they stopped. "Okay, I think he's dead," Chase decided.

Heart frowned. "Are you sure? Shouldn't he have exploded-"

Banno's mangled corpse exploded.

"Oh, never mind."

"That was even more satisfying than I imagined!" Medic squealed, dancing around joyfully.

"Killing him was even better the second time!" Go gushed.

Shinnosuke stared at Go for a minute, then carefully put a hand on his shoulder. "Brother, I think we should get you some therapy."

"That was exhilarating!" Mr. Belt said excitedly. "Who should we run over next?" He paused. "I cannot believe I just said that."

"Let us seek out Spider Great Leader," Brain suggested. "It is time at last for my rematch with my mortal enemy!"

Everyone groaned. "This again?" Go complained.

Heart sighed. "I thought he was over this nonsense…"

A sweatdrop appeared on Mr. Belt's LED face. "… Brain, that was just a dream-"

"LIES!"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	47. Boss Rush 8: Momoninger vs Gengetsu

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Wow," Z said after a moment. "That was… Violent. Like, really, REALLY violent. I'm… Not sure I was old enough to see that."

"I'm over a thousand, and I'M not sure I was old enough to see that," Dogranio agreed, disturbed. "Geez, they must've really hated that guy. Never thought I'd actually count myself lucky for "just" getting beaten up and arrested by the cops, because that did NOT look like a fun way to die."

"It would seem that even heroes, for all their sense of justice, are sometimes willing to go overboard in punishing the wicked," Abrella remarked. "How hypocritical of them."

A black hole opened and Evolt, his white form scuffed and scorched and covered in bruises, shuffled out. "Hey guys. What did I miss?"

"A green robot melted parts of a guy's body off with poisonous handkerchiefs, psyched him out with a fake Rider Kick before smashing him with his head, a talking car ran him over repeatedly, and then over half a dozen people beat him to death in an extremely gruesome and over the top way which will give me nightmares for a long time to come," Z reported.

"Seriously?! Damn, I missed the good stuff!" Evolt complained.

"Don't worry, you can watch a playback of what happened later," Abrella assured him.

"You okay there, Evolt?" Dogranio asked the planet killer as he sat back down the couch, noting his wounds. "Looks like that boy of yours roughed you up pretty good."

"Oh, and here's your popcorn," she said, quickly handing the destroyer of worlds a tub which totally wasn't a fresh batch Dogranio had whipped up to replace the one Z had accidentally dropped several minutes ago.

"Huh? Oh, thanks," Evolt told Z as he took the tub. The young Emperor sighed in relief. Evolt didn't seem to notice it wasn't the one he'd started with. "It's nothing that won't heal on its own," Evolt assured Dogranio with a dismissive wave. "I'm so proud of him! Some of those punches actually hurt a little, even at the level I'm at now! And when he gets stronger, he may even be able to come close to beating me someday!"

"You're… Looking forward to that?" Asked a confused Z.

"My people are incredibly resilient, hyper-aggressive, and have an insatiable bloodlust. Violence is one of the many ways with which we show love," Evolt said fondly. "And speaking of my people… Abrella, would you happen to know anything about the Blood Tribe?"

"I've already started making inquiries, the moment Deboss revealed your people used to exist in this universe," Abrella informed him. "Both in this world and the next. It may take some time to get some answers, and I can't guarantee you'll like them, but…"

"One way or another, I'll know for sure… If I really am the last of my kind," Evolt said quietly. "Thank you, Abrella. That… That really means a lot to me," he said gratefully, glancing away. "I mean, I'd resigned myself to the knowledge that I was the last of the Blood, but… If my people still live on in this new world…"

"You may no longer be alone," Abrella finished.

Evolt nodded awkwardly. "Yeah…"

"Nobody should be alone," Dogranio said soberly. "Don't all of us deserve a people, a place to call home? A family to return to at the end of the day?"

"… Okay, this got pretty serious really fast…" Z muttered uncomfortably.

Evolt coughed. "Uh, yeah…er… Abrella, if… If you really do find anything useful… Then I promise I won't destroy your planet until long after your family line has died out."

"Thank you, Evolt," Abrella replied in surprise. "Coming from you, I understand that's a tremendous and uncharacteristically generous gift. Thank you very much."

"Yeah, unless he gets bored in a few years, murders you and your entire family, THEN destroys the planet," Dogranio pointed out.

"I would never do that!" Evolt insisted. Everyone stared at him. "… Look, can...can we just watch another fight now? This is getting way too sentimental for my liking."

"That would probably be a good idea," Abrella agreed, checking his tablet. "Our viewers demand blood! They are rather insatiable."

"Who's next, then?" Dogranio asked.

"I want to see the ninjas!" Z cried excitedly.

"Ninjas? I'd be down with that," Evolt commented, intrigued.

"I used to have a ninja in my employment," Dogranio recalled. "She didn't get along well with my number three, Gauche. Sure, why not?"

"Which ninja shall we watch, then? Sentai or Rider?" Abrella asked.

"Sentai," said Dogranio at the same time as Z said "Rider," and Evolt said, "Whatever."

The three of them glanced at each other. "Rider," said Dogranio at the same time as Z said, "Sentai," and Evolt said, "Whatever."

"That is profoundly unhelpful," Abrella complained.

"Meh," Evolt grunted, unapologetic.

"Let's do the pink one," Dogranio decided.

"Why?" Z asked.

"Because one of the cops who took me down was pink, so by seeing this one get beaten up I can fantasize it's her getting mauled instead," Dogranio reasoned.

Abrella nodded in understanding. "Yes, I can sympathize with that. Not that I hold ANY grudge against the officers who killed me, of course! After all, I am a law-abiding man now, and it would make no sense for such a person to have a reason to dislike the police!"

"You know that nobody's buying this, right?" Evolt asked the "legitimate businessman."

"Perhaps, but it still amuses me," Abrella replied. Evolt shrugged, conceding the point.

"So who is she, and who is she fighting?" Z asked.

"The ninja is Kasumi Momochi, a member of the infamous Igasaki ninja clan," Abrella explained. "She is currently battling Gengetsu Kibaoni, a warlord from ancient Japan who was slain by her ancestors and vowed that one day he would return as a Youkai to get his revenge. About 444 years later, he made good on that promise, and was defeated by Kasumi and her cousins in their capacity as the Shuriken Sentai Ninningers."

"Let's see if he can do a better job the second time around," Dogranio grunted. "Even though he probably won't." The others nodded in agreement.

The camera turned to focus on the duel between Kasumi and Gengetsu Kibaoni. The pink ninja had donned the Chozetsu armor, having swiped the Shoubu Changer from Takaharu when he wasn't looking before leaving her cousins and fellow ninja to join the Genius Squad. With the enhanced speed, strength, and power the armor gave her, she was all over the place, landing resounding blows against the Youkai warlord's armor whenever he was too slow to block them, which was often.

Even so, the evil shogun was standing strong, despite the cracks beginning to form in places on his armor. "I'm surprised they let you use that," the Youkai taunted, twirling his naginata and hurling blasts of darkness at Kasumi. "I'd assumed it was reserved solely for the use of that fool you call a red ninja!"

Kasumi dashed here and there to dodge the dark blasts, slicing any that got close to her in half with her blade. "Any of us can use it, it's just that Takaharu tends to hog it the most," she retorted. "Which, while being somewhat to be expected given that he's a red Sentai, can still get rather annoying from time to time. Even I feel like cutting wild now and then."

"And a fine job you're doing of it too, Kasumi! Keep it up!" Shishi-oh encouraged her from her wrist.

"A fine job? Please! All you've done is cosmetic damage!" Gengetsu boasted. "And it will easily be repaired as soon as I get enough fear… So why don't we start by feasting on some of yours? Way of the Supreme Fang: Hundred Demons Illusion!"

He swung his weapon through the air, generating a pair of massive jaws which separated into dozens of explosive fangs that shot through the air at Kasumi.

In response, Kasumi produced a Goton Shuriken and inserted it into her sword. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Mirror Flower Water Moon!"

She spun the Shuriken and swung her blade in a circle, leaving a trail of rippling water behind it which formed a shimmering curtain before her. The explosive fangs flew into the mass of water, disappearing in flashes of light. The water rippled, and the fangs shot back out again, flying towards the startled Gengetsu. The warlord swung his naginata, trying to deflect some of the projectiles, but could only divert a few, the majority slamming into his body and exploding, forcing him to take a step back and making more cracks form in his armor.

Before he could recover, Kasumi switched the Goton Shuriken to its Earth formation and spun it again. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Pitfall Technique!"

She drove her blade into the ground, and a pit abruptly formed underneath Gengetsu's feet, and the warlord began to fall into a deep chasm. He quickly held his naginata out horizontally above his head as he descended, the ends of the weapon catching on the ground around the pit's lip and arresting his fall. The shaft of the spear creaked and started to bend a little, much to his dismay, and the dirt underneath the two ends of his naginata started crumbling.

"I bet you're wishing you hadn't put on such heavy armor this morning, did you?" Kasumi taunted.

Gengetsu snarled and cried out, "Way of the Supreme Fang: Asura!"

Dozens of phantasmal hands materialized around his body, pushing upwards and flinging him out of the pit. Bellowing, the Youkai raised his weapon as he descended towards Kasumi, intending to skewer her on the blade.

Undaunted, Kasumi leapt skyward to meet him, switching the Goton Shuriken to its Fire formation and spinning it. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Flame Rampage Slash!"

Her sword engulfed in flames, she swung her blade at the same time Gengetsu thrust his naginata at her. She twisted her body to the side as she passed, the blade at the end of the naginata scraping the side of her armor and throwing up sparks. Her sword, on the other hand, didn't deal nearly as glancing a blow, and cut deep into the warlord's side, Gengetsu bellowing in rage and pain as her sword sliced through him.

As their momentum carried them past each other, each of them landed with their backs to each other, Kasumi neatly on her feet, while Gengetsu stumbled and fell to one knee, needing to use his naginata to support himself. Grunting and clutching the wound on his side, darkness seeping between his fingers, he staggered to his feet. "That… Was just a flesh wound…" Gengetsu snarled.

"If you say so," Kasumi replied, switching her Goton Shuriken to its Wood formation. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Slippery Vine Technique!"

As she spun the Shuriken, leafy vines appeared from out of nowhere and wrapped themselves around his waist, limbs, and neck, binding him. Gengetsu laughed in disbelief. "Vines? You think you can hold me with VINES?!"

"No, they're just to make the next part easier," Kasumi replied, switching her Shuriken back to its Fire formation and spinning it. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Flame Technique!"

Without warning, the vines wrapped around Gengetsu burst into flames, engulfing the Youkai as well. Gengetsu roared in surprise, pain, and fury, thrashing about and ripping the burning vines to shreds, shaking himself all over as he tried to put out the fires on his armor. "Was that supposed to hurt?" Gengetsu boasted. "All you did was make me feel a little toasty! Which I appreciate, because it's a little nippy today."

"Then allow me to cool you off even further: Shuriken Ninja Art: Water Technique!" Kasumi switched her Shuriken to its Water formation, spun it, and pointed her sword at Gengetsu, releasing a stream of water from its tip that engulfed the Youkai, causing him to splatter and flail about as the water rushed over him, steam rising.

"What was the point of that?!" Gengetsu demanded as the water tapered off, steam rising from his form. "All you did was put out the fire!"

"Then have some more! Shuriken Ninja Art: Flame Technique!" Kasumi switched her Shuriken back to its Fire formation, spun it, and unleashed a torrent of flames at the warlord.

Gengetsu burst into laughter as the flames engulfed him. "Have you lost it, girl? You already tried that, and it didn't work!"

Instead of answering, Kasumi switched her Shuriken to the Metal formation and spun it. "Shuriken Ninja Art: Metal Technique!"

A gold -colored metal washing pan fell from the sky and bonked Gengetsu on the head. "Ow!"

The four watchers stared. "… Seriously?" Evolt asked finally.

"Why the heck would she do something like that? What's the point?" Wondered the baffled Dogranio.

"Don't underestimate that technique," Z warned his friends. "The ToQgers conjured way stranger things with their finishers, and they were still able to defeat any Shadow we threw at them. Let's see where she's going with this."

Gengetsu grimaced and rubbed the back of his head. "What exactly was that supposed to do-"

He was cut off when the cracks in his armor spread, widened, and with the sound of shattering glass, pieces of it broke; his colossal pauldrons crumbling to pieces, one of the horns on his helmet falling off, and a large gap splitting open on his breastplate. "WHAT?!"

"Allow me to teach you a little science fact, Gengetsu: rapidly heating, cooling, then heating metal again – – or the other way around – – causes it to expand and contract too much for its structural integrity to maintain, and it breaks," Kasumi explained smugly.

"Hah!" Dogranio laughed in surprise. "Clever girl!"

"Told you!" Z exclaimed giddily.

"Pretty smart," Evolt admitted grudgingly. "Not a smart as a certain rabbit, of course… Never tell him I said that."

"Kasumi is undoubtedly the most intelligent of her family," Abrella agreed. "There's a reason she was tapped to be on the Genius Squad, after all."

"You! You wretched little…!" Gengetsu snarled in fury. "You may have damaged my armor… But you've only made me deadlier! With less of it weighing me down, I can move faster now!"

The Youkai demonstrated this, charging forwards at startling speeds, zigging and zagging all over the place to try and confuse Kasumi.

The pink ninja just laughed at this. "Good! That means that you're almost fast enough to be a threat!"

She dashed forwards, the enhanced speed granted by her armor causing her to zip all over the place before colliding with Gengetsu, her sword clashing with his naginata in a shower of sparks. Both of their weapons rebounded, and they dashed away before charging into each other again and again, the force behind their blows shaking the landscape and causing small rock slides in the nearby cliffs.

"I'm having trouble keeping track of them," Z complained. "Did this just turn into an episode of Dragon Ball?"

"No, there isn't nearly enough screaming or spending several episodes standing in place powering up," Abrella pointed out.

"You have grown stronger!" Gengetsu grunted, pushing down with all of his considerable might to try and leverage Kasumi towards the ground as their blades locked once again. "I do not remember you being this powerful the last time! Before, you needed all of your family even to last a minute against me!"

"It has been years since then, Gengetsu," Kasumi retorted, refusing to budge an inch even as arcs of energy coursed through their weapons and struck both of their armored forms, tearing up the surrounding earth. "I have trained and grown stronger. Before, I was still just a novice ninja. But now, I'm a fully-fledged Shinobi… While you are at exactly the same level you were the last time!"

"Which is still more than enough to crush you!" Gengetsu snarled.

"I rather doubt that. Not only have I grown in strength, but in _deception_ ," Kasumi taunted him.

Gengetsu gave her a confused look. "Deception? What-"

 **"TRANSCENDENTAL SHURIKEN SLASH!"**

Gengetsu howled in agony greater than ever before as a sword pierced his back and burst through his chest, shattering what was left of his breastplate. Kasumi broke the blade lock and twirled out of the way before the sword could run her through as well, slashing at Gengetsu's waist as she went by and tearing open another wound, more darkness spilling out of it.

As the sword was wrenched out of his back, Gengetsu staggered forward, planting his naginata in the ground to maintain his balance while he clutched the gaping wound in his chest with his free hand, pouring dark power into it in a desperate attempt to stanch the bleeding. Gasping and wheezing, coughing up blood, he looked over his shoulder…

And to his disbelief, saw TWO MomoNinger's! "What… TWO of you?! HOW?!"

"I think that's something we'd all like to know," Evolt grunted.

"She's a ninja," Z pointed out. "She probably did some sort of ninja trick."

The Kasumi that hadn't just run Gengetsu through raised her sword, revealing that she'd plugged the KakuRanger Shuriken into it. "During one of our clashes, I used the Cloning Technique to duplicate myself. While I kept you distracted, my clone got into position-"

"And ran you through the instant I saw an opening!" The second Kasumi bragged. "Although… Are you sure I'm the clone? I thought you were."

Z nodded, pleased with himself. "See? Just like I said. Ninja trick."

Abrella winced. "Oh dear. Neither of them are sure which is the original. I do hate when this happens, it always ends messily."

"With any luck, one of them will be killed off quickly to prevent this from devolving into some sort of lengthy drawn-out clone saga," Dogranio suggested optimistically.

"Heck, I'd do it myself if it'd help out," Evolt offered.

"We can save that debate for later. Now, we need to finish Gengetsu off once and for all," the first Kasumi told her.

"I am not…" Gengetsu rasped. "I am not… Through… Yet! Way of… The Supreme Fang… Hundred Demon Illusion!"

Once more, the spectral jaws appeared and fired fangs at the duo.

"Think we can do this without Fuuka?" One Kasumi asked the other.

"Only one way to find out," the other replied.

Both ninjas raised their blades and ran their free hand down their length. "Super Shuriken Ninja Art: Two Dimension Technique!"

The two Kasumi's clasped hands…

And suddenly, were _anime_ characters.

The watchers stared. "What the fuck?" Evolt asked finally.

"No! Absolutely not! None of that!" Dogranio roared, slamming his cane on the ground. "If I wanted to watch an anime about ninjas, I'd be watching Naruto! Or that other one, about his kid! Or any of the many, MANY other shows about ninjas!"

"There sure are a lot of them," Z agreed.

"What?! How… How did you become _cartoons_ -" Gengetsu stammered in disbelief.

"Super Shuriken Ninja Art Ultimate Move!" One Kasumi cried.

"Nintality Exploding Blast!" The other shouted.

They thrust their free hands forward, glowing pink energy balls with spinning Shuriken forming in them which fired tremendous blasts of pink energy, the beams twisting and spinning around each other to form a single incandescent blast which obliterated the explosive fangs and engulfed the screaming Gengetsu, who was too busy being confused as to what the hell was going on to feel particularly outraged by this turn of events.

As Gengetsu vanished in a tremendous pink explosion, the two Kasumi's (no longer anime characters) whirled around and struck a pose. "We don't hide! Win!"

"Oh thank God it's over, that was really freaky," Dogranio sighed in relief.

"If they try that again, I will kill them," Evolt promised. "That was way too disturbing, even for me."

"I thought they were kind of cute…" Z muttered. Everyone glared at him.

"WAY OF THE SUPREME FANG: ASURA!"

Dozens of phantasmal fists shot out of the flames and slammed into the backs of the two ninjas, sending them flying in a terrific explosion. Kasumi wailed as she flew through the air and hit the ground hard, rolling some distance away. Moaning, she lifted her head and stared in astonishment as Gengetsu Kibaoni strode proudly out of the flames.

Well… Perhaps that was a bit of an overstatement. A more accurate way of putting it was that he limped menacingly. The Nintality Exploding Blast hadn't killed him, but it had certainly done a massive number on him. All of his armor had either been destroyed or melted onto his body, he was covered in massive burdens, his right arm was just _gone,_ and from the way he was dragging the charred stump that was all that was left of his left leg, it was a miracle he hadn't lost that limb as well. A gargantuan hole took up most of his torso, but he didn't seem to notice what was missing. Half of his face had burned off, revealing a grotesque skull framed in burning ligaments, a blind eye rolling wildly in his socket as he took one lurching step after another towards Kasumi, his sheer rage and hatred all that was holding him together at this point.

Dogranio recoiled. "Oh, geez!"

Z squealed in alarm. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

"Okay," Evolt said, raising hand.

"No, wait, I want to see where they're going with this," Abrella told him brusquely.

"Igasaki… Kill… Igasaki…" Gengetsu hissed through fractured teeth, a hellish scraping noise filling the air as he dragged all that was left of his naginata along the ground behind him.

"… Impressive," Kasumi murmured. "I don't believe anyone has ever survived that attack before… Still, at this point it shouldn't take much more to finish you off, right, other me?"

There was no response.

"Other me?" Kasumi glanced around, but couldn't see her clone anywhere. "Well, I suppose that answers that philosophical quandary…"

"Whew! That's one less thing to worry about," Dogranio commented in relief, wiping his brow.

Pulling herself up, Kasumi drew an incredibly ornate gold and multicolored disc with a razor edge and seven colored stars lining the rim, each in the shape of one of her team's personal emblems. Gengetsu paused in his advance, sole working eye fixated on the Shuriken. "End… Shuriken? How?"

"You're asking how I can have the End Shuriken, considering my family and I destroyed it to save the world?" Kasumi remarked. "It's quite simple, really. _I made a new one_."

She plugged the Shuriken into her sword and pushed a button on her blade.

 **[*] THE RED HOT FINISH! [*]**

"Shuriken Ninja Art Ultimate Technique!" Kasumi cried as pink energy stars swirled around her. "Igasaki Fury Slash!"

She spun the Shuriken.

 **[*] THE SHIMMERING STRIKE! [*]**

As her sword was charged with so much energy it briefly turned the artificial night to day, Kasumi swung the blade, flinging a colossal wave of pink energy at Gengetsu. The Youkai warlord struggled to lift his naginata in a futile attempt to block the attack, but was far too slow, and even if he'd brought the weapon up in time, it would have been no defense against this attack. The energy blade cleaved him in two and kept going, slicing through the nearby cliff face and carving out a canyon that stretched for miles into the distance, much like Lord Baron's attack from before.

Blinding pink light shining from the passage the blade had made through his body, Gengetsu dropped his naginata and fell to his knees. "Curse… You… IGASAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

He exploded. This time, nothing was left.

Kasumi swiped her sword through the air dramatically. "Come back in another 444 years, and you'll only get the same result. Do us all a favor and stay dead this time, Gengetsu."

Shishi-oh laughed. "Now that's running wild! Well done, Kasumi! Well done!"

Kasumi dramatically turned her back on the roaring inferno that was all that was left of the warlord and searched the battlefield for another opponent to fight. "There is no need to hide. Washoi!"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	48. Boss Rush 9: Fuma, et al, vs Dracula

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Wow! That was pretty cool!" Z gushed.

"Indeed. Viewership just spiked. Ninjas are always a good way to get more of an audience," Abrella agreed, quite pleased.

"Well I'm disappointed," Dogranio complained. "I was hoping that pink girl would get beat up a bit more than that."

"Her clone died," Evolt pointed out. "Well, assuming that was her clone and not the real one."

Dogranio sighed. "It's not the same."

"So, is he going to come back as a giant monster, or…?" Evolt asked, nodding at the fire, which hadn't died down just yet.

"Probably not, that sort of thing doesn't usually happen during crossover team up battles," Abrella informed him.

"Oh," Evolt grunted, clearly disappointed.

"So, what's the deal with that shuriken she used to finish him off? The End Shuriken? Gengetsu seemed surprised to see it," Dogranio pointed out.

"The End Shuriken, as the name implies, is a Shuriken with the power to end the world, and create a new one in its place," Abrella explained. "It's supposed to only be used by the "Last Ninja," a member of the Igasaki clan who has proven themselves worthy of the title, but Gengetsu managed to steal it and plan to use its power to destroy the world and create a new one ruled by the power of fear. While he was defeated, the Ninningers were forced to destroy the End Shuriken to stop the apocalypse."

"Then how come she's got one?" Evolt asked.

Abrella shrugged. "The Shuriken was made once, so I suppose it could be made again. From what I've heard, Kasumi is the cleverest of her family. If anyone can make a new one, it would probably be her."

"So, now that that fight's done, can we watch the other ninja now? She's fighting Count Dracula!" Z pleaded, excited.

"Hey yeah, are you guys related?" Evolt joked.

"Oh, so all caped bat -like beings have to know each other? Don't be a racist, Evolt," Abrella scolded.

"Okay, okay, I was just kidding, sheesh…" The alien horror grumbled.

"Wait, so that means you're NOT a vampire?" Z asked, rather disappointed.

"Of course not!" Abrella snapped, only to hesitate. "Well… Granted, my people are plasmavores, our planet is very dark and we don't like the sun very much, dark capes and big gloomy castles are always in fashion and we can command bat-like creatures and I'm not really helping my case, am I?"

"Not really, no," Dogranio noted in amusement.

"Wait, if you don't like the sunlight, then how come you weren't bothered earlier like Dracula or I were?" Z asked.

"This jar on my head and the suit I'm wearing not only allow me to survive in this planet's atmosphere, but is actually made out of a material that filters out harmful UV rays so that I may go in comfort wherever I go," Abrella informed him. He turned to the camera. "And if you, too, happen to be from a species that isn't too fond of UV rays or an oxygen-rich atmosphere, you can find plenty of similar suits or gear for sale on my website, and for no extra charge we'll be more than happy to customize it to your liking!"

"No extra charge?" Dogranio asked, incredulous.

"The service fees to keep the suits properly maintained can get pretty pricey," Abrella whispered to him. " _That's_ where I get them." Dogranio laughed in amusement.

The camera turned to focus on Mizuki, who had reverted to her base form and was viciously fighting a horde of monsters Dracula had summoned while the count sat back and observed from a throne he'd conjured from somewhere, nursing a glass of wine. As the last mummy fell at her feet and melted away, the ninja approached the throne, blood dripping from her blades. "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" she declared.

Dracula laughed. "It was not by _my_ hand that I'm once again given flesh. I was called here by _humans_ who wish to pay _me_ tribute."

Mizuki snorted at this. "Tribute"?! You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

Dracula shrugged. "Perhaps the same could be said of _all_ religions."

Mizuki's grip on her swords tightened at that. "Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!"

Dracula laughed and shrugged. "What is a man?" He flung his wine glass aside _._ "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk! Have at you!" He launched himself forwards, throne shattering from the force of his flight.

"Wow, that's a pretty cool pre-fight exchange," commented the impressed Z.

"Indeed," Abrella agreed, looking somewhat perplexed. "Something about it seems rather familiar, however…"

Mizuki lunged towards the vampire to intercept, using her agility to strike the count from all angles, sparks flying as her blades struck against the vampire's cape again and again, the undead King's inhuman reflexes allowing him to use it to wrap himself up in its surprisingly strong defense whenever the ninja tried to hit him. Dracula laughed in amusement. "Is this the best you can do, scion of the Nishikikoji line? Where are your family's sacred weapons? Where are the special sealing techniques you have developed to deal with me? Where is the power of your bloodline?"

"I do not need it to defeat the likes of you!" Mizuki declared, drawing back and hurling a kunai at Dracula's eyes.

Dracula's hand shot out, catching the dagger between two fingers inches before it could pierce his eye, snapping it in two. "Clearly, you do. It seems you were unprepared for my coming. Which is fair, for my revival is premature, so I doubt you had any warning. I'm in a generous mood. If you will allow me to withdraw and return to my castle, I will offer you the same courtesy. You may go home to your clan's holdings, retrieve the holy weapons your family have used against me for generations, and come at me again when you're better prepared. Or, if you do not feel you are up to the challenge, you may send one of your older, more experienced relatives my way."

Mizuki brandished her blade. "And give you time to marshal your forces and regain your strength? Never! I shall slay you here and now, just as my ancestors have done before me!"

Dracula laughed, though not unkindly. "Each of your ancestors was far more prepared to fight me than you are, even the first of your line I ever encountered. It is not simply that you do not wield the sacred weapons. You haven't even finished your training, have you? I can see it in your form, smell it in your blood. You have some skill, but you have yet to fully harness it. You are raw. Not as yet truly tested in battle against the forces of darkness. You are far from achieving your true potential."

"Wait, so… Count Dracula and this girl's ninja clan have been enemies for generations?" Asked the confused Dogranio.

Abrella nodded. "Indeed. Dracula's dark forces and the Nishikikoji have waged war against each other for centuries. I do believe Mizuki's great-grandmother was the last ninja to defeat the Dark Lord."

"'Last?'" Evolt questioned.

"Dracula represents a power too great to ever be truly destroyed, though many have tried over the years," Abrella explained. "At best, he can be sealed away or temporarily slain. He has a tendency to come back once every hundred years, but he has plenty of followers who are more than happy to resurrect him ahead of schedule. Or sometimes he comes back whenever there's been an especially nasty war. Really, it's easier to list the times when he's returned from the dead then the times when he has been absent."

"So… Is nobody going to ask why a European vampire is enemies with a Japanese ninja clan?" Z inquired. "Like, I can't be the only one wondering that, right? I mean, for some reason I get the weird feeling it should be a family of monster hunters that like using whips. I'm aware that a very specific feeling, but that's just how it is."

All of them considered this. "That's a very good question," Abrella admitted. "This may require some research…"

"You would be unwise to underestimate me, Dracula," Mizuki retorted. "After all, the greatest warrior in the world does not fear the second greatest, but-"

"Yes, yes, he fears the worst warrior, because he has no idea what he's doing and so cannot be properly guarded against," Dracula finished her sentence, looking bored. "You sell yourself short, though. You are not the best ninja of your line, but neither are you the worst. Still, if you persist in this foolishness, I will be more than happy to satisfy your death wish. I'm sure the next ninja your clan sends after me will be ecstatic to see your corpse impaled outside my castle!"

He took a step back and unfurled his cape, launching a spread of three fireballs forward. Mizuki hurled three kunai at the fireballs, which exploded, briefly obscuring her from view. As the flames roared, she suddenly reappeared from the smoke, soaring towards Dracula's head, blades drawn to pierce his eyes. Dracula narrowed his eyes…

And snapped his hand out to the side, grabbing the real Mizuki by the throat. "I'm afraid body doubles and illusions will not work on me, my dear," he lectured her as the fake Mizuki vanished in a puff of smoke. "I can smell your blood. I can hear your breathing. You cannot evade me."

"I wasn't trying to!" Mizuki snarled, driving her sword into Dracula's chest. He grunted, his grip loosening slightly, which was more than enough for Mizuki to break free, rip her sword out of his chest, then spin around and impale both blades in his sternum.

Dracula backhanded her so hard it nearly snapped her neck, flinging her backwards. He casually pulled the swords from his chest and hurled them aside. "These blades haven't even been enchanted," he complained. "I can't even remember the last time someone was stupid enough to try and attack me with ordinary weapons."

"Ordinary? These swords are _far_ from ordinary," Mizuki declared, diving for the blades, grabbing them, rolling across the ground, and landing in a crouch, slashing both swords through the air before her and sending blades of fire and wind at Dracula.

Surprise, the vampire almost didn't shield himself in time with his cape. "Interesting. How did you do that? I didn't sense any magic. That energy is… Unfamiliar. Some form of modern technology?"

"Something like that," Mizuki confirmed as she charged energy into the blades, one of them igniting as wind billowed around the other.

Dracula laughed. "Impressive! As a man of science myself, I am constantly fascinated by the advancements mortals make in the scientific field. I shall be sure to learn as much about this technology as I can, and perhaps even appropriate it for myself!"

"You'll have to take it from me first!" Mizuki declared, slamming her swords into the ground and sending a cyclone and a pillar of fire roaring towards Dracula.

Dracula grinned. "You speak as if that will be difficult." Wrapping his cape around himself, he disappeared in a flash of light, the cyclone and flames blasting through the space he'd just been.

Sparks appeared on the ground beneath Mizuki, and she barely leapt out of the way before a pillar of fire erupted from the earth beneath her. Before she even had a chance to catch her breath, Dracula suddenly reappeared behind her, thrusting out a claw towards her head. She dove to the side just in time, bringing up a blade to slice at the vampire king's wrist in hopes of cutting off his hand. Unfortunately, her sword was not nearly strong enough to cut through the dark prince's limb, only creating a shallow gash which quickly healed. Dracula swiped his other claw down at her, but Mizuki detonated a smoke bomb, a cloud of smoke enveloping both of them.

Dracula flicked his cape around him, generating a blast of wind which immediately blew the smoke away. Unfortunately for him, Mizuki had already disappeared. "Do you think you can hide from me?" He bellowed. "As I said before, your training is incomplete! You have not been taught how to mask your breath or heartbeat! And even then, I would still be able to sense your blood!" He grinned as suddenly a dozen Mizuki's appeared in a ring around him. "Which is how I know that none of these are the real you!"

A wave of darkness blasted out from him, knocking back the false Mizuki's, all of whom turned into Ninja Players and dissipated. He then thrust a hand upward, launching a fireball into the sky and striking Mizuki, who'd been diving towards him from above, the explosion catching her in the stomach and blasting her back. Cackling, Dracula took a step towards her…

And the ground beneath his feet suddenly collapsed into a pit trap. Unfortunately, he only descended a millimeter before catching himself, floating back up to ground level. "I can _fly_ ," he taunted her. "What good was that?"

"This!" Mizuki cried, driving one of her swords into the ground. "Nishikikoji-style Ninja Art: Hurricane Technique!"

The earth shook, and suddenly a tornado burst out of the pit and engulfed the startled Dracula, the furious winds battering him about through the air as he struggled to regain control of his flight.

Mizuki didn't plan to give him that opportunity.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{NINJA HURRICANE CRITICAL FINISH! }!{**

Flames engulfed one of her swords, and wind the other. Crying out, she launched into the air, twirling about and creating a cyclone of fire and wind around her as she entered the tornado, slashing her blades at Dracula as she blew past him and out the other side. Fire and wind exploded out from the vampire king, dissipating the tornado and briefly lighting up the darkness.

Mizuki landed neatly on the other side of the pit…

And her Kodachi shattered. "What?!"

Dracula laughed as he descended towards her, his suit and cape not even the least bit marred by her attack. "I told you that you were not ready to face me. Those blades of yours were strong, yes, but nowhere near powerful enough to harm me! There is nothing you possess that can defeat me!"

"… Actually, there is," Mizuki murmured slowly, eyes widening in realization. What a fool she had been, forgetting about that!

"What are you talking about?" Dracula asked as he landed before her, puzzled.

"Allow me to demonstrate," Mizuki declared, flicking her wrists and revealing Shuriken clutched between each of her fingers.

"More of this? Very well," Dracula complained, taking a step back and flinging his cape to the side, hurling three fireballs toward Mizuki while holding his arm out to the side, causing red and blue magic orbs to launch from his body and rotate around him in widening clockwise and counter-clockwise orbits as they spread outward.

Mizuki leapt into the air, jumping over the fireballs and twisting her body about to dodge the orbs as they spun past her. She flung her arms out to the side, throwing her Shuriken down to the ground. Dracula shielded himself with his cape…

And was puzzled when none of the throwing stars came anywhere near him, each of them embedding themselves in the ground surrounding him. "Eh? What good was that?" The vampire asked in confusion.

"Let me show you!" Mizuki cried, making a series of hand seals. "Nishikikoji-style Ninja Art: Thousand Starlight Demon Cage!"

The ninja stars embedded in the ground glowed, and suddenly light shot out from them, etching a pattern into the ground as they connected to each other while other beams arced upward, joining above Dracula's head to create an energy cage trapping him where he stood.

"… Interesting," Dracula remarked, surprised. He swished his cape upwards, his body dissolving into a swarm of bats which swarmed all over the cage, hissing and shrieking as they slammed repeatedly into invisible barriers before coalescing back in the middle to reform into the vampire king. "It would seem I was mistaken. You _do_ know one of the sealing techniques."

He suddenly drew back his fist and punched the wall of the cage, causing the lights to flicker. "Unfortunately, while this would prove effective against a lesser creature of the night, it won't take me more than a moment to break free of this."

"That's fine with me," Mizuki told him. "A moment is all that I need to defeat you."

"Oh?" Dracula asked, raising an eyebrow, genuinely intrigued. "How do you intend to manage that?"

"With the power of my God," Mizuki said reverently, clutching her holy icon.

Dracula made a face. "Not that old Dragon!"

"Dragon?" Dogranio asked.

"The Nishikikojis serve a cosmic entity called Daijinryuu, an omnipotent Dragon responsible for maintaining balance across the universe," Abrella explained.

"What? How come I never ran into his guy? I've probably destabilized the universe big time with all the galaxies I've eaten!" Evolt protested.

"Guess you're just not on his radar," Dogranio said snidely.

"Not on his-! Why, you…!" Evolt surged to his feet. "That does it, I'm gonna destroy this entire solar system! THAT should get his attention!"

"Wait, what?!" Z cried in alarm.

"Evolt, you were nearly annihilated by a very young god not even an hour ago," Abrella pointed out reasonably. "Are you certain you wish to attract the ire of a being vastly older and infinitely more powerful?"

Evolt spluttered. "That's…I…ngngngngng!" Frustrated, he sat back down and crossed his arms in a deep sulk. "Lousy gods…lousy dragons…stupid freaking cosmic balance…one of these days I'm gonna…"

Z sighed in relief. "That was close…"

Abrella nodded. "Indeed. In any event… I do believe Mizuki has a different deity in mind…"

Mizuki shook her head. "No… Someone new. Lady Malika, hear my cry! Lend me your power so that I may strike down the Dark Lord in your name and prove you were right in choosing me to be your champion!"

" _As you wish_."

 **| GASHACON ARROW! |**

In a flurry of pink peach blossoms, the Gashacon Arrow materialized in Mizuki's hands. Dracula recoiled the instant he saw the bow. "That weapon… It's clearly a piece of technology, and yet… I sense an incredibly powerful divine presence, one I have never felt before…!"

"My mistress is a new goddess, but _strong_ ," Mizuki declared proudly. "And has no tolerance for creatures of darkness such as yourself! In her name, I shall smite you and banish you back to the shadows from whence you came!"

She removed her Gashat and inserted it into the bow.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! NINJA HURRICANE CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Snarling in rage, Dracula slammed his fists against his cage again and again as Satsuki aimed her bow and drew back her hand, an arrow of light materializing. The Shuriken generating the force field entrapping him cracked, sparked, and shattered, the vampire lunging free from his prison, fire and bats wreathing his form as he rushed towards Mizuki…

Only for the ninja to fire, the arrow leaping from her bow like a laser beam. The bolt raced towards Dracula…

Whose hand shot out, snatching it out of the air just before it could pierce his black heart. "A nice effort," he hissed through gritted teeth, his hand sizzling as it struggled to contain the intense holy power of the arrow. "But not-"

The arrow flashed and lanced forwards in a massive beam of light, piercing his heart and blasting out the other side. Dracula howled in rage and collapsed to his knees, gasping and spitting up blood as he gripped the sizable hole in his chest, smoke starting to rise from his form.

"You underestimate my goddess to your peril," Mizuki said sternly. "As I said, she is new… But _strong_."

"So it… Would seem…" Dracula wheezed, spitting up more blood. He managed a broken laugh. "But you forget… So am I! If you'd studied your clan's history with me at all, then you'd know that once I am defeated… You must face my true form!"

"Which one?" Mizuki asked. "You have over a dozen."

Dracula shot her an irritated look. Rather than answering, he staggered to his feet, flung his cape out, and roared, darkness wreathing his form. Bats flocked to him from all over the place, shrieking and hissing as they swarmed around him as his body expanded outwards, his clothes disintegrating as he transformed from an eerily handsome man to a towering beast, a green-skinned demon bulging with muscles, bat-like wings growing from beneath his arms as a pair of elongated horns grew back from the rear of his head. His barbed tail lashing behind him, he slammed a two-clawed foot on the ground and bellowed, flames erupting all around him.

"Oh," Mizuki realized. " _That_ true form."

Dracula laughed cruelly, voice sounding like tombstones crashing against each other in the dark of night. **"What can I say? You can't go wrong with the classics!"**

"Shouldn't he have turned bigger than that?" Evolt complained.

"Again, you're thinking of Sentai villains," Z corrected him.

Abrella nodded in agreement. "Indeed. While Dracula has assumed a number of large and monstrous forms in the past, only one or two of them have ever been large enough to crush cities."

"Then why doesn't he use one of those? Then he could finish her off easily!" Evolt protested.

Dogranio shrugged. "It's like the man said: you can't go wrong with the classics."

"Ever think maybe that's _why_ he keeps getting killed all the time?" Evolt retorted.

"When you're evil, it is often a difficult choice between pragmatism and style," Abrella conceded. "But as I'm sure you yourself must admit, Evolt; being pragmatic isn't always as _fun_. Not that I would know such a thing, seeing as how I am not evil anymore, of course."

"Of course," Dogranio chuckled.

"… Well, you've got me there," Evolt admitted, deciding to table his complaints and sit back to enjoy the show.

Mizuki had studied the history of her clan her entire life. She had read all of her ancestors' accounts of their fights with fantastic beasts and denizens of the dark, and Dracula was just one of them. Many of her predecessors had fought the Dark Lord in this form, and she knew of his strengths and weaknesses, his attacks and abilities, what to aim for and what to avoid.

None of that prepared her for the reality of just how _fast_ the transformed vampire king was. In the blink of an eye, he crossed the space between them, claw reared back to sliced her to pieces. Mizuki barely dove out of the way in time, firing an arrow of light at the monster as she went. One of Dracula's arms snapped up, the wing-like membrane catching the arrow and deflecting it away, the bolt landing in the ground some distance away.

Mizuki frantically backpedaled, shooting arrow after arrow at Dracula, but with his enhanced reflexes and resilience, the demonic vampire either countered or simply ignored the bolts, not even regarding the arrows piercing his form like a pincushion as more and more of them struck his body. Abruptly, Dracula reared back and spat an electric wave forward nearly as tall as he was. Mizuki sprang upwards, flipping up and over the electric wave, only for Dracula to immediately appear before her, spiking her into the ground hard enough to crater it.

She quickly rolled out of the way as Dracula shot downwards, punching the ground where she had just been, a shockwave rippling out and flinging her away. Rather than crying out or panicking, she kept her cool, firing as many arrows as she could, many of them not even seeming to be aimed _at_ Dracula, before tucking herself into a ball as she hit the ground, rolling back to her feet just in time to see Dracula's jaws inches from her face.

She fired an arrow point-blank into his face, causing him to reel back in pain, shrieking and covering his temporarily blinded eyes, his wing membranes expanding to cover the frontal part of his body in a protective shield. Mizuki dove forward, rolling beneath the wings and between Dracula's feet, barely dodging his tail as she came up behind him and fired arrows into his back.

Dracula immediately lashed out in retaliation, whirling around and slapping Satsuki with a fully extended wing, sending her flying. Roaring, he spat three fireballs at her while she was airborne, each of them as big as the fireballs he'd used in his previous form all put together. Satsuki quickly fired three arrows at the fireballs, detonating them before they could reach her, only for Dracula to suddenly emerge from the flames, grab her by the face, and slam her into the ground hard enough to shatter it. He started running, dragging her along beside him, before flinging her back into the air and spitting another spread of fireballs. She was unable to do anything about them in time, and they exploded on impact, hurling her away, smoke trailing from her body.

Dracula cackled madly as Mizuki hit the ground painfully some distance away. **"Where is your goddess now, ninja?"**

Groaning, Mizuki staggered to her feet, gripping her icon. "She is with me… Always."

 **"Then what happened to this 'strength' of hers? Because so far, it does not seem as if it is a match for my true power!"** Dracula bragged.

"Tell me, Dracula, have you noticed that the arrows you deflected haven't disappeared?" Mizuki asked calmly. "Why do you suppose that is?"

Dracula blinked. **"Haven't… What do you…?"**

He glanced around, suddenly realizing that several of the arrows Satsuki had failed to hit him with were embedded in the ground all around him, almost as if it were in… A pattern…

He laughed in disbelief. **"No! You're going to try THAT again? While I'm in my true form? I'll be able to shred my way out of that cage as if it were tissue paper!"**

"Not this time," Mizuki informed him. "Because this is something totally different: Nishikikoji-style Ninja Art: Million Darkness-Binding Light Arrows!"

" **What**?" Dracula asked, startled, as the light arrows embedded in the ground and the arrows piercing his flesh started glowing. **"I've never heard of that technique before!"**

"You wouldn't have," Mizuki said proudly as bolts of light fired from the embedded arrows, zigzagging through the air before making contact with the arrows penetrating Dracula's body, forcing the vampiric demon to howl in rage as holy energy coursed through his body, his monstrous form convulsing as his regenerative powers struggled to patch him back together as quickly as he was being torn apart. "Because I invented it just now."

"Okay, that's fairly impressive," Dogranio admitted.

"That's a lot of light," Z hissed, flinching back. "It's pretty, but…"

"Not good for your health," Abrella agreed.

"Eh, I've triggered supernovas brighter than this," Evolt said dismissively.

In between howls of agony, Dracula managed to laugh. **"Impressive, Nishikikoji! I haven't seen a new technique from your clan in quite some time!"**

"I'm not through yet!" Mizuki proclaimed, pointing her bow skyward.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! NINJA HURRICANE CRITICAL FINISH! |**

"Lady Malika, gods of Helheim, hear my prayer: deliver your divine retribution upon this wretched soul, and banish him from this world!" Mizuki cried, shooting her arrow.

The bolt arced skywards, where a large hole suddenly unzipped in the air, offering a glimpse of the alien splendor that was Helheim. The arrow flew into the hole…

And a minute later, a colossal energy beam almost as wide as the hole itself shot downwards, striking Dracula with enough divine wrath to completely envelop the vampire king, the Dark Lord's screams quickly drowned out by the sheer weight of the heavenly power being arrayed against him. There was a spectacular technicolor explosion, and Dracula vanished in all-consuming blast of light, briefly turning night to day.

Z cried out, flinching back and shielding his eyes. "The light… Why… Why must it always burn so bright?"

"You might want to consider investing in a suit like mine in the future," Abrella suggested.

"That had to have hurt," Dogranio commented.

Evolt grimaced, recalling how easily Lord Baron had dispatched him earlier. "Oh, it does. Trust me on that."

Finally, the flood of power from the other world ceased, and the hole quietly zipped itself shut, leaving only a burning heap of debris behind. Mizuki clutched her icon and bowed her head in prayer. "Thank you for your aid, my lady. I am sorry that I have been forced to invoke your power so much today, but know that all this, I dedicate to you-"

 **"GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

In a burst of flames and darkness, the heap of debris exploded, and Dracula rose from the flames… Or at least, what was left of him. Nearly all of his skin had been melted off, exposing his skeletal structure and what few muscles remained intact. Most of his organs were visible, or at least, parts of them were; most of them having fallen out through the large hole in his gut. His entire body was burning with holy flames, his skin, muscles, and organs constantly trying and failing to regenerate, only to be eaten up once more by the fire. Given how much he was wavering on his feet and how, bit by bit, his regeneration seemed to be failing, it was self-evident that he didn't have much time left. And yet he still stood as tall and strong as he could, a vision from mankind's darkest nightmares, an eternal reminder of why we feared the night.

Z whimpered. "As a creature of darkness myself, why am I so frightened by this?"

"Because you're a pussy." Dogranio whistled. "Damn! And here I thought Gengetsu got hit pretty bad! I can't believe you still standing in that condition!"

"Neither can I," Evolt protested. "How the hell does he get away with that? I'm way stronger than he is, but I was one-shot by Lord Baron and only survived because there's so much of me left inside Banjo! There's no way this guy's immortality is greater than mine!"

"Dracula is steeped in the powers of darkness, and Mizuki has yet to finish her training in both the ninja and holy arts," Abrella pointed out. "That might have something to do with it."

"Or maybe you're just not as tough as you keep bragging about," Dogranio jeered.

"Old man, do you WANT me to kill you and destroy your world?!" Evolt snarled.

Dogranio laughed. "I'm getting to the age where death would be a blessing. And good luck finding my world, it's in a totally different dimension from this!"

"That won't stop me forever…" Evolt growled.

"No… That's not possible… How are you still alive?!" Mizuki protested, horrified.

 **"I have survived the wrath of the gods before… And so I shall again!"** Dracula proclaimed, the large hole in what was left of his throat flexing with every breath his decaying form tried to take. **"So long as evil exists, I shall never truly die! And even if I returned to my grave this day… I shall have the satisfaction of taking you with me!"**

He charged at Mizuki, the fact that most of his body was destroyed, on fire, and in unimaginable pain doing little to hinder him. If anything, it spurred him to even greater speeds, and he was upon Mizuki before she even had chance to form a new arrow. He opened his jaws wide as he lunged forward to tear her apart…

 **| TSUKUYOMI! TIME STOP! |**

And suddenly froze in place, body flickering and glitching. Mizuki blinked in astonishment, staring up at flaming form of the demon in disbelief, able to make out every detail of his decaying form from this angle, none of which was moving, even the fire. "What… What is…"

"What… Just happened?" Z slurred.

"I feel… Weird," Dogranio murmured, head spinning as he waved a hand through the air, noticing that it left after-images.

"Somebody's stop time," Evolt explained, cranking his Driver's lever. "I sensed it happening just in time, and created a micro black hole so I could use its gravity field to distort time around us so we could see what was going on."

Abrella blinked several times, his vision blurry and phasing in and out. "Do black holes work like that?"

"They do if I say they do," Evolt grunted. "Everybody shut up, this is taking a lot of concentration to maintain. You don't want to miss anything like during that fight with Brajira, right?"

The others quickly asserted that no, they did not.

"MIZUKI!"

Mizuki's head snapped to the side. "Satsuki?!"

Her beloved partner raced over, followed closely behind by Poppy, Inkohana, Megumi, Shuki, and Yua. "Thank goodness you're all right!" Satsuki cried, wrapping her arms around the ninja and giving her a spine-crushing hug. "It looks like we got here just in time!"

"Satsuki?" Mizuki gasped in amazement, her ribs starting to make an ominous cracking noise. "Poppy? Everyone else? What are you doing here?"

"Adding you to the ranks of Poppy's Angels, of course!" Poppy declared.

"We still aren't calling ourselves that," Megumi said flatly.

"You don't get a choice in the matter," Poppy snapped.

"After I helped Miki, Rio, and Mele defeat Long, I started looking for you, knowing you would be battling Dracula and thinking you might need my help," Satsuki explained, finally letting go of Mizuki before she could be asphyxiated. "Along the way, I bumped into the girls here, and we decided to all come find you together."

"Because of girl Rider solidarity, and the bonds of sisterhood!" Inkohana cheered.

"Nico isn't here," Megumi pointed out.

"We'll get her next," Inkohana insisted, waving her off.

"It looks like we got here just in the nick of time," Yua observed. "Another second, and he might've eviscerated you."

"Thank you for your support," Mizuki said gratefully. "While it would have been an honorable way for me to die, vanquishing the Dark Lord, I must confess I'm relieved that I get to live to see another day. I would not want to leave Satsuki all alone in this world without me, after all."

Satsuki planted her hands on Mizuki's shoulders and looked her dead in the eye. "Mizuki," she said with a certainty that would shake the mountains. "If you had died, after I killed Dracula to avenge you, I would have immediately gone to join you in Helheim, for without you, there is nothing in this world worth living for. Well, other than Hiiro-sama, of course."

"Of course," Mizuki whispered, smiling joyfully behind her mask, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Uggggh, so sappy," Evolt groaned.

Dogranio sighed. "Wish any of my spouses had felt that way about me…"

"I wonder if Gritta does," Z wondered unhappily. "She'd probably just hook up with General Schwartz. I've always been afraid that she's been cheating on me with him behind my back…"

"Then why not kill him?" Abrella suggested.

"Did that once. Don't really want to repeat myself," Z said glumly.

Poppy squealed in delight and clapped her hands energetically. "So cute! Your wedding is going to be ADORABLE!"

 **"Yes, it's unfortunate they'll never get to have one."**

Poppy nodded. "Yeah… Wait, what-"

Satsuki stiffened all of a sudden. Mizuki gasped, and the martial artist looked down to see very large bony claws punching through her chest. "Oh," she said faintly, head spinning. "That is unfortunate."

The four watchers sat up straight in their seats. "Wait, WHAT?!" Z cried.

"That is unexpected," Abrella commented in surprise.

 **"Indeed, it is,"** Dracula agreed, withdrawing his appendage from Satsuki's back. He grinned at the shocked looks on everyone's faces. **"Please. Do you really think this is the first time I've tangled with someone who can use time magic?"**

 **| GAME OVER! |**

"SATSUKI!" Mizuki screamed as Satsuki's armor vanished in a flash of light and she collapsed into her arms, particles of light rising from her form as she started to fade away.

Z gasped in horror. "Oh no!"

Evolt started laughing in disbelief. "Oh… Oh my Pandora! Is this… Is this actually happening?! Are one of those irritating Riders FINALLY going to die?!"

"Don't get your hopes up just yet, though probably come up with some deus ex machina to save her," Dogranio pointed out, cynicism warring with cautious optimism.

"Actually, that happens a lot less often with Kamen Riders, _especially_ with the females," Abrella corrected him.

"He's right," Evolt said giddily. "This could really be it. She might actually die!"

"You BASTARD!" Poppy shrieked in rage, spreading her wings, her entire body suddenly releasing an impossibly brilliant blast of light that caused the Dark Lord to reel back, screaming, what was left of his eyes burned out of their sockets as what was left of his skin disintegrated and some of his bones shattered. Livid, she drew the Kiva-la Saber and took a step forward…

Then hesitated, glancing over at Mizuki, who had fallen to the ground, cradling the fading Satsuki in her arms. "Girls, keep Dracula occupied, I have something more important to do!"

"It would be our pleasure," Shuki snarled.

"Count Dracula, I usually fight your stained glass cousins… But I have no problem battling a monster like you!" A furious Megumi declared.

"When I woke up this morning, at no point did I think myself, 'Yua, today you're going to fight Count Dracula,'" Yua remarked in bewilderment. "What a strange life I live."

As the four Riders tackled the severely wounded but still standing Dracula, Poppy rushed over to her friends. Sobbing, Mizuki glanced up at Poppy. "Poppy, please, you have to do something, I can't lose her!"

"Mizuki… It's fine…" Satsuki whispered weakly, struggling to raise a hand to cradle her lover's cheek, only for it to fall back to her side. "Dr. Yaotome can probably bring me back… This is only… A temporary setback…"

"Satsuki, you just received a mortal blow from Count Dracula!" Mizuki protested, distraught. "I'm not sure you _can_ be restored from that!"

"We'll see about that," Poppy said, crouching down beside them and tapping one of her statuettes.

 **| MEDIC! |**

Kamen Rider Medic materialized out of a gateway, looking around in confusion. "What? What the… I was just in the Tridoron, why am I…"

"Medic! We need your help!" Poppy cried.

Medic saw the dying Satsuki and immediately realized why she was here. She quickly crouched down next to the fighter. "Oh geez… My powers are geared mainly for curing other Roidmudes, but… Maybe I can…"

Medic's hands glowed gold and she pressed them to the gaping wound in Mizuki's chest, golden energy waves rippling outward from the point of contact to envelop her vanishing body. Her wound started to glow, and began to shrink…

And then Satsuki screamed in agony, a pulse of dark energy blasting out from the hole and forcing Medic to recoil, hands sizzling. "OW!"

"I told you," Mizuki said mournfully. "A fatal blow from Count Dracula is not easily healed. I am sorry, my love. I am so, so, sorry."

"It's… Okay… This isn't your fault…" Satsuki whispered, struggling to keep her eyes open.

"But it is!" Mizuki wailed. "I should've defeated Dracula quicker! I should have remembered he's had experience fighting those with the power to stop time! I should have completed my training, should have been more prepared, should have-"

"Hey! HEY!" Poppy yelled, grabbing Mizuki by the shoulders and shaking her. "Now is not the time for the blame game! Especially since we're not out of options yet!"

"We aren't?" Medic asked in surprise.

"What… What do you mean?" Mizuki stammered in confusion.

"Mizuki, I am a Valkyrien of our Lady Malika, correct?" Poppy reminded the ninja. "And what is it that Valkyrien do with the souls of the worthy dead?"

"You… You take them to Helheim…" Mizuki said slowly.

"Where they can become Energar, undying warriors of the gods!" Poppy finished excitedly.

Mizuki gasped. "Then… Then you can save Satsuki!"

Evolt stiffened. "No! No, don't you dare! Not when I got my hopes up!"

Dogranio groaned. "Told you not to get your hopes up."

Z gasped hopefully. "They might be able to save her?!"

"We'll see," Abrella said, curious to see where they were going with this.

"Wait, is this a religious thing, or-" the confused Medic asked.

Poppy nodded eagerly. "Yeah! At least, I think so. I've never actually tried it before, given that this is my first day on the job. But the knowledge on how to do it was coded into me when Lady Malika bequeathed this power to me, so if she's willing to give me a little guidance, I think I can pull it off!"

"Are we talking on something that can actually happen-or-"

"Oh," Mizuki murmured, suddenly looking uneasy. "But… We have demanded so much of her already today, have we not? And we know from Lord Baron that she and the rest the Pantheon are engaged in a titanic battle for the fate of the cosmos. Surely we shouldn't bother her for something as inconsequential as this."

"Wait, what's this about a battle for the fate of the cosmos?"

"Mizuki, there is nothing inconsequential with using everything at your disposal to save someone," Poppy told her sternly. "As a Kamen Rider, a servant of the gods, and most importantly of all, a nurse, you know this just as well as anyone else! A God who doesn't care enough about their followers to give them aid when they need it most isn't a deity worthy of the name!" Mizuki gasped at that. "And no, I don't care if it's blasphemous to say that, it's still true!"

"Can someone please explain to me what you're talking about!"

Mizuki bit her lip. "I… Satsuki?"

Satsuki tried to laugh, only to cough. "I'm already dying… Can't hurt to try…"

"All right," Poppy said, spreading her wings. "Let's do this."

"So, do you still need me here or should I just-" Medic again, only to quickly discover she didn't really have a choice in the matter.

Poppy's wings spread wider, enlarging greatly as she folded them around them, the silvery appendages forming a metallic shell sealing them off from the outside world, the sounds of explosions and screams abruptly cutting off, leaving them in absolute silence, save for their heartbeats, breath, and Satsuki's body slowly disintegrating.

And Medic's increased confusion. "Oh. Okay. I guess I'm staying, then."

Poppy gripped one of Satsuki's hands in her own, while Mizuki removed her icon, put it in Satsuki's other hand, and clasped it tightly. "Satsuki Ogimachi. I am a Valkyrien, sworn servant of the goddess Malika of the Pantheon of Helheim. In life you fought valiantly and bravely for the cause of love and justice. You have been deemed worthy of entering the ranks of the hallowed dead and being reborn as an Energar, a deathless warrior of the gods. Do you accept this honor, knowing that it means you must spend the rest of your afterlife fighting evil across the cosmos for the sake of our mistress, and may never know true peace?"

"I am a warrior born and true," Satsuki said softly. "I have always known that peace will always be fleeting for one such as I. To continue battling forever for our goddess is a gift beyond belief." She hesitated, then looked at Mizuki. "So long as I can stay by Mizuki's side, I can endure _anything_."

"Satsuki…" Mizuki whispered.

Poppy glanced upward. "Considering that Mizuki is your champion, whatever that entails, I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?"

The silvery light emanating from her wings turned pink, and the smell of peaches filled the enclosed space. "I think that's a yes," Satsuki said weakly, a calm smile spreading across her face.

The pink light grew and grew, and in a flash they were no longer on the battlefield, but in the otherworldly forest of Helheim.

Medic gawked, glancing around her in incredulous disbelief. "WHAT THE F-"

"Probably not a good idea to profane in a holy place," Satsuki hissed.

Medic immediately kept her mouth shut.

The wind blew around them, laden with peach blossoms, the pink petals swirling from all over the place and coalescing above them to form a glowing peach Lock Seed. The Lock Seed pulsed and descended towards them, entering Satsuki's wound. The dark power once again flared up, trying to reject the divine fruit, but a wave of pink light blasted out from the Lock Seed, dispelling the darkness and causing Satsuki's whole body to radiate brilliantly…

And then they were back on the battlefield once more, but Satsuki's body was no longer disintegrating, the hole in her body was gone, and the Lock Seed was lying on her chest where the wound had been. In addition, her skin had taken on a pink hue, and her hair had turned pink, maybe even more so than Poppy's.

Medic's jaw dropped. "… Okay, I think I've just discovered religion. Where exactly can I sign up for this church of yours? Are they okay with androids? Because I know a lot of religions that aren't, so…"

"DAMMIT!" Evolt shouted. "They just HAD to get a literal God to save their asses, didn't they?!"

Dogranio sighed in disappointment. "Can't say I'm not surprised…"

"So THAT is what the Gaimist afterlife looks like. A portion of it, anyway. Fascinating," Abrella remarked. He noticed Z was crying. "Z, are you all right?"

"… I think I just found something even more beautiful than rainbows," he whispered, a rapturous expression on his face.

Dracula stiffened. " **What? What has happened? And why does the stench of peaches fill the air?"**

"Satsuki has been reborn," Shuki explained just before shooting another arrow at the Dark Lord. "And stronger than before, from what I can see. Your latest act of defiance was all for nothing, monster."

Dracula sighed, sounding more resigned than upset. **"So I have failed again? There are some days I wonder why I bother getting out of my coffin in the evening…"**

"Satsuki! You're alive! Praise Malika!" Mizuki cried, wrapping her arms around Satsuki in a hug.

"Praise her indeed! Though… I'm not sure 'alive' is the right term," Poppy confessed, sounding winded. That had taken a lot more out of her than she anticipated.

"She's right, Mizuki. By our lady's grace, I am not dead, but I'm not sure I'm alive either," Satsuki agreed, hugging Mizuki back.

"You're here," Mizuki whispered, burying her masked face in Satsuki's hair. "That's all that matters to me."

"That's all very well and good," Megumi grunted, dodging some fireballs while unloading silver bullets into the flaming demonic skeleton. "But do you think you can help us finish him off?"

 **"I will not leave this plane without killing at least ONE of you!"** Dracula bellowed. **"… I mean, in all likelihood I will, but not for lack of trying!"**

"Do you think you can fight?" Poppy asked Satsuki.

The fighter nodded. "Right now, I feel like I could take on a hundred Draculas." She glanced at the Lock Seed that had saved her life, which glowed and changed its shape to partially resemble a Gashat. "Let's see what our lady's gift can do."

She popped open the lock and plugged it into her Driver.

 **| CLICK TO OPEN! LOCK ON! |**

"Henshin!"

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! LOCK UP! SOIYA! WARRIOR OF HEAVEN, THE LIGHT WHICH SHATTERS THE DARKNESS! VALKYRIEN PROFILE: PEACH! |**

A holographic screen depicting a Rider suit formed in front of Satsuki while a hole unzipped in the air to reveal Helheim forest, a giant metal peach descending from it. The peach landed on Satsuki's head and unfolded at the same time as the screen passed over her, clothing her in an outfit resembling her base form for the most part, complete with oversized knuckles, but all of her armor was pink and gold in hue. The unfolded peach covered her upper body in armor resembling a Kurokage trooper but pink and somewhat more Arabian in design, with the standard cartoonish eyes possessed by Gamer Riders. Once more, the scent of peaches filled the air as blossoms wafted about in the breeze.

"Is that something I get if I join your religion?" Medic asked in confusion. "Because I'm not going to lie, I don't think the eyes are really my kind of thing."

"And OF COURSE she gets a new form out of it," Evolt ranted. "OUR deities were never this generous!"

"I thought you killed your gods," Dogranio pointed out.

"We did, because they were total jerks and definitely not this generous," Evolt countered. "Except Pandora, maybe, though we never got to know her when she was alive considering we were more or less born from her death, according to our mythology, so…"

"You were born from her death?" Asked the confused Z.

"Let's just say there's a reason we named ourselves the 'Blood' Tribe," Evolt grunted.

"Incredible," Mizuki whispered in awe. "You really have become an Energar…" She paused, then glanced up. "Not to complain or anything, my lady, but given that I'm your champion and all, shouldn't I get a suitable form to prove it?"

 _"Don't push it."_

"Yes ma'am."

"Great," Yua grunted as she bombarded Dracula with more of her Hex Vespa drones. "Can we please kill Dracula now?"

 **"At this point I'm starting to long for death, I am in a** ** _tremendous_** **amount of pain,"** Dracula roared.

"Satsuki, since he killed you, do you wish to do the honors?" Mizuki asked her lover.

Satsuki shook her head. "Dracula is your clan's enemy and your responsibility. You should be the one to finish him. I shall support you anyway I can."

"In that case, I think you're going to need this," Poppy decided, handing Mizuki her sword.

The ninja did a double take. "That's…! That's the sword of Kiva-la!"

Poppy nodded. "What better way to kill the vampire king than with the sword of the Fangire queen?"

Mizuki laughed weakly. "Yes, I can see the appeal… All right, I think I know to do, but I'm going to need you to pin him down for me."

"I think we can do that," Poppy promised. "Okay… He's demonstrated a resistance to time manipulation, but let's see what happens if I layer on as much as I can at once!"

She tapped several statuettes in succession.

 **| LADY! MEDIC! TSUKUYOMI! CLOCK UP! HEAVY ACCELERATION! TIME STOP! |**

"I'm right here, you know, I can do it too," Medic pointed out, concentrating her power and projecting an energy field towards Dracula.

Poppy pointed at Dracula as well, and suddenly the burning skeleton's motions slowed significantly as the sound of several ticking clocks filled the air.

 **"Ttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssss aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?"** Dracula groused, voice stretched out. **"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee oooooooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffffffff tttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssss iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo tttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"**

"You're going to be dead before it even gets that far!" Poppy declared, hands still outstretched towards the vampire king. "… Speaking of which, you guys should probably finish him quickly, I can't keep this up forever!"

"Neither can I," Medic spoke up, feeling like she was being ignored.

 **| CLOCK UP! |**

"You aren't going to need nearly that long!" Inkohana bragged, turning into a blur as she struck every point on Dracula's body a million times per second. The vampire king cried out as every bone making up his form shattered. The breakage didn't last for long, however, as he immediately started piecing himself back together again, but slower than normal, both because of the extreme damage he'd taken so far but also because of the area of slow time Poppy and Medic had created around him.

Megumi "helped" that process by firing her bayonet at Dracula, the cable wrapping around and around the vampire king and binding him in silver thread, the monster hissing as his constant agony was increased by the hated metal. As Dracula struggled to break free from the silver cable and the slow time, Shuki began strumming on her harp, energy forming on it.

 **| SOUND ATTACK PLAY: EXCITING HEAVEN, GROUND MOTION! |**

Arrows of light formed in her harp. She drew them back, taking aim at Dracula's organs…

And instead pointed downward, firing the bolts at his feet, piercing them and pinning Dracula to the ground. As Dracula moaned in slow motion, Yua flitted through the air, flying around the vampire and blasting him with Hex Vespa, the drones exploding and delivering constant shocks of high voltage. "Any time now!"

" **Your time is up**!" Dracula roared, releasing a blast of dark energy that knocked the four female Riders away, shattered his bonds, and dispelled the slow time around him, causing Poppy and Medic to stumble back.

"Actually," said Mizuki, Gashacon Arrow drawn, the Kiva-la Saber loaded into it. "I think you'll find _your_ time is up."

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! NINJA HURRICANE CRITICAL FINISH! |**

"I'll kill you _and_ the night."

Mizuki fired.

The sword launched itself from the bow, soaring through the air to pierce Dracula's black heart…

Only for the vampire to shift at the last second, the blade passing through two of his ribs and just missing his heart. "No!"

 **"A nice try,"** Dracula bellowed. " **But not nice enough-"**

Satsuki's form blurred, and suddenly she was behind Dracula, snatching the sword out of the air. If it weren't for the peach blossoms she'd left in her wake, one could easily be mistaken for thinking she teleported. "For my lady!" The fighter cried, driving the sword into Dracula's back and piercing his heart.

If Dracula had any eyes left, they probably would have widened. And then, abruptly, he sagged, chuckling ruefully. **"Once again, the blood of Nishikikoji and her comrades defeated me... Perhaps this too is part of my fate."**

"Death to you! The world is not yours to exist in!" Shuki yelled scornfully.

Dracula scoffed. " **It is not by my own power that I am resurrected. It is the greed of humanity which calls me back. And thus, by might, I rule! Might becomes the one and only justice in this world!"**

Megumi shook her head in disgust. "Of all the self-serving claptrap! The same basic faith drives all people to seek, to come together, to move forward! That, surely, can't be an evil thing!"

Dracula grinned. " **And yet, here I am. Do you not have any desires?"**

The ladies hesitated. "Well..." Inkohana admitted.

Dracula cackled. **"It is by your desires that you humans prosper, and it is your faith that has ruled you! Considering that, can you really call me evil?"**

"But people cannot be ruled by power alone!" Mizuki insisted. "The sacred, the honorable, the loved. Those things can rule humanity. Something evil will eventually fall to ruin!"

Dracula bowed his head in acknowledgment. " **I see! Perhaps you're right, heh heh heh! We shall meet again, blood of Nishikikoji ! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"**

And with that, he exploded in a blizzard of peach blossoms, the sweet scent of peaches filling the air.

"… Did that seem a little weird to anyone else?" Z asked after a moment. "I mean, it was super dramatic, but…"

"Yes, something about it felt familiar," Abrella agreed. "Almost… Scripted? Curious."

Evolt side and leaned back into his seat. "And so the forces of good win again. Oh well, at least it was a pretty interesting fight. And someone ALMOST died, so I can't say it was all bad."

"Oh quit your complaining, Evolt, we all know you enjoyed it just as much as the rest of us," Dogranio chided him.

"I will admit no such thing!" Evolt declared.

"Perhaps we will meet again," Mizuki conceded. "Or perhaps my descendants will. Either way, we will be ready, and we will drive you back into the darkness, every single time."

"Well said," Shuki approved, nodding in agreement.

"That was certainly an experience," Megumi observed. "I got to help kill the vampire king. That's going to be quite the report to write up…"

"Satsuki, that was incredible!" Inkohana gushed. "How did you move so fast?!"

"I don't know," Satsuki admitted. "I suppose this is another gift of the goddess. One I am very grateful for, for it allowed me to aid Mizuki in slaying her hated enemy. I… Hope you are not upset that I was the one who delivered the final blow?"

Mizuki hugged her. "How could I be? Especially when it was such a masterful blow? This was a battle that shall go down in the annals of both of our families. We have done our ancestors proud this day."

"Yeah," Poppy agreed, tactfully prying the Kiva-la Saber from Satsuki's hands. "Another great victory for Poppy's Angels!"

"Poppy's what now?" Asked the bewildered Medic, once again feeling utterly out of her depth.

"We told you, we aren't calling ourselves that!" Yua snapped.

Poppy sulked at that.

"So, now that that's done, I have a question," Inkohana spoke up. "Mizuki, how did your family, a clan of Japanese ninjas, become the rivals of a European vampire?"

"Yes, for some reason, I feel as if he should be rivals with a clan of European monster hunters instead, specifically ones specializing in the use of the whip. I'm aware that's a very specific feeling, but that's just how it is," Megumi agreed.

"Well," Mizuki began. "It all started hundreds of years ago, when due to a mailing error Dracula's coffin was shipped to Japan by mistake…"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	49. Boss Rush 10: Revenant vs Great Eyezer

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"So THAT'S how Dracula became the enemy of a clan of Japanese ninjas!" Abrella exclaimed in astonishment after Mizuki finished her tale. "My, that was quite a story!"

"I will never look at a pair of chopsticks the same way ever again," remarked an awestruck Dogranio.

"And despite being killed like _that_ , Dracula eventually revived, and keeps reviving, no matter how many times he's beaten!" Z pointed out. "That's pretty impressive as well!"

"The Dracula guy sure was one tough son of a bitch," Evolt observed, impressed despite himself. "He could take almost as much punishment as I could… Are your people as resilient as all that, Abrella? I mean, I know you said that they _totally_ aren't vampires, but…"

"Sadly, no," Abrella lamented. "Neither are most vampires like Dracula, I would think. After all, he is their king and mightiest of all, so it's only to be expected that he is far stronger than the rest of his kind."

"Fair enough," Evolt agreed. "As a member of the royal family of the Blood Tribe, that applies to me too. And, unfortunately, my brother, that nut job…"

"Wait, you're royalty like me?" Z asked, surprised. "Did you mention that before?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I'm royalty," Evolt repeated. "For whatever little that means, given that there isn't exactly a Blood Tribe left for me to rule over. My brother was the king, until he went insane and destroyed our planet and wiped out just about all of our species."

"Does that make you the Prince of all Blood?" Dogranio joked.

Evolt snorted. "Oh, please, I'm nothing like that runt Vegeta!" He hesitated. "Although… I also destroy planets as a pastime… And I am the only known full-blooded member of my species left, with a half-blood son-"

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!" Ryuga shouted.

"I've grown an admittedly small amount of fondness for humanity, and I either killed or am indirectly responsible for the deaths of the other last known members of my species because I got sick of them and holy shit I AM Vegeta!" Evolt cried in horror. "Oh Pandora, what's next? Am I always going to become second-best to some other guy? Am I going to get a hot Asian wife? Wear a hideous pink shirt?! Have children named after underwear?!"

"Look on the bright side, by the time of Dragon Ball Super Vegeta became a better father and a much more likable character than Goku," Z pointed out.

"I don't WANT to be more likable!" Evolt protested. "I'm Evolt, the destroyer of worlds! I'm a major bad guy! I can't become Vegeta!"

"Don't worry, you'll never become Vegeta," Dogranio assured Evolt.

"Are you sure?" Evolt asked hopefully.

Dogranio nodded sagely. "Yes, you'd never be able to pull off the hair for it."

"I'LL KILL YOU!"

"Before Evolt murders anyone or start having a mid-life crisis, perhaps we should choose our next fight to watch," Abrella suggested quickly. "And we should choose wisely, because we seem to be running out of major battles to watch."

Indeed, most of the heroes were at this point busy fighting Shocker Combatmen while trying to rendezvous with everyone else. And while watching mooks get beaten in droves was always fun, it wasn't as exciting as a superhero going toe-to-toe with a major villain.

"How about the Great Eyezer?" Z suggested in terror, well aware that if Evolt snapped, he'd have to go right through him to get to Dogranio. "I kind of owe the guy for him making it dark out."

"You owe _them_ ," Abrella corrected. "The Great Eyezer is genderless, due to being an amalgamation of 15 man-made Guardian deities with an incredible source of spiritual energy from another dimension called the Great Eye. After acquiring the power of the Great Eye, they attempted to assimilate the souls of all humans in two dimensions for… Some reason…"

"Sure, sounds fine to me! What you think, guys?" Z asked frantically. "What's that? You think it's a great idea? Wonderful! Let's watch them, Abrella!"

"Hold on, I didn't say it-" Dogranio protested while Evolt snarled malevolently.

"LET'S WATCH THEM, ABRELLA!"

"Very well." Abrella turned the camera to focus on the Great Eyezer, who was engaged in combat with the ghosts of Newton, Edison, and da Vinci. (Except they weren't ghosts, naturally, because EVERYONE knew there was no such thing as ghosts.)

"I am Edison!" Edison declared, firing bolts of lightning at the Great Eyezer with his Gan Gun Saber. "Edison! Are you Edison? No you're not!"

"INDEED," the Great Eyezer agreed, the symbol of the Electricity Ganmeizer appearing on their chest. "WE ARE THE GREAT EYEZER."

They fired an even more powerful blast of electricity back at Edison, sending him flying, wailing, "EDISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

"What comes up, must go down," Newton declared, pointing his gloves at the Great Eyezer and generating a colossal gravity wave which slammed into the entity, cratering the ground beneath them as the gravity increased to 50 times Earth standard. "In your case… _Very_ far down."

"BUT WHAT GOES DOWN CAN RISE AGAIN," the Great Eyezer retorted as the emblem of the Gravity Ganmeizer appeared on their chest. The air around them distorted, and suddenly Newton found himself crushed to the ground beneath 500 times Earth standard gravity as the Great Eyezer stood back up.

"Okay, not gonna lie, that's actually a pretty good line," Dogranio admitted.

"Psh, you call that gravity?" Evolt snorted, having forgotten his enmity with the Gangler boss. "I've danced on the surface of planets with gravity a thousand times greater than that without breaking a sweat! Pretty sure I've made black holes with more gravity, too…"

"No matter how high you may rise, you will never be able to match my genius!" The da Vinci Ganma bragged, whirling around fast to generate a tornado which spun across the ground towards the Great Eyezer and flung it into the air, shooting laser beams from the Mona Lisa face on his chest and striking the entity repeatedly.

"WE ARE THE COLLECTED INTELLIGENCE OF AN ENTIRE CIVILIZATION. YOUR GENIUS IS AS NOTHING IN COMPARISON," the Great Eyezer countered, the emblem of the Wind Ganmeizer appearing on their chest. They started spinning rapidly contrary to the rotation of the tornado, causing it to burst apart and send powerful winds blasting all over the place, knocking da Vinci and the other two spirits back.

"YOUR RESISTANCE IS FUTILE," the Great Eyezer continued as the spirits quickly got back to their feet, Edison shooting lightning bolts, Newton singularities, and da Vinci energy needles from his fingertips. Multiple emblems flashed across their chest in quick succession, and an energy wave blasted off of them, dispelling the attacks. The emblem for gravity appeared again, and it gestured, causing the three spirits to levitate in the air. More emblems appeared, and a monstrous sword, bow, spear, hammer, and rifle materialized around it, the weapons lashing out and slicing, shooting, stabbing, or slamming the spirits, sending them crashing back to the ground, crying out in pain. "WE ARE THE GREAT EYEZER. WE ARE INEVITABLE."

"Is that so?" Akari called from the ground. Her outfit had changed to a fuchsia coloration, her eyes resembling bubbling beakers while wearing a hoodie resembling a lab coat. She was lugging a massive weapon resembling a mix between the Shiranui Kai Mark two and a minigun with a centrifuge mounted on top, several test tubes of florescent chemicals revolving about. "Because I seem to remember Takeru stopping you in the past. That doesn't sound very inevitable to me."

"SOMETHING WE SHALL REMEDY WHEN NEXT WE ENCOUNTER HIM," the Great Eyezer declared, floating down to stand before her, ignoring the moans and groans of pain from the defeated spirits. "WE ARE SURPRISED YOU DID NOT RUN, HUMAN. CONSIDERING YOU SEEMED PERFECTLY CONTENT TO COWER BEHIND YOUR GHOSTLY ALLIES AS WE TORE THEM APART, WE HAD ASSUMED YOU TO EITHER BE A RANK COWARD, OR INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO RECOGNIZE THE POINTLESSNESS OF YOUR STRUGGLE."

"Oh, I'm no coward," Akari insisted as the centrifuge stopped spinning, the chemicals in the tubes flowing through channels in the sides of the cannon, causing it to glow and light up. "I just needed them to buy some time for me to finish my new formula."

"A FORMULA FOR WHAT?" The Great Eyezer demanded.

Akari pulled the trigger on her weapon, and the device opened fire, pelting the startled Great Eyezer with several thousand rounds of a multicolored substance which quickly spread all over its body, swelling and congealing to encase the entity's form in a thick, doughy mass. "WHAT… WHAT IS THIS?" The Great Eyezer demanded, struggling to pull themselves out of the substance, only to discover that it had hardened into something stronger than titanium. "WE… WE CANNOT MOVE! OUR POWERS ARE NOT RESPONDING!"

"That would be thanks to the power of the Curie Eyecon," Akari bragged. "The mastery of chemistry this form gives me allowed me to synthesize a substance that could nullify your abilities and render you completely powerless. All I needed was a little time to finish cooking it up, which I got thanks to my friends. Sorry about how long it took, guys. It was trickier than I expected."

"It's no problem," Newton said wearily. "Science can often be a difficult process. After all, as Edison would say, progress is 1% innovation, and 99% perspiration."

"I am Edison," Edison agreed.

"So… Is there a reason the ghost of Thomas Edison seems to be incapable of saying anything other than that?" Z queried.

"Yeah, does he think he's a Pokémon or something?" Dogranio snorted.

Abrella shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"And now that I have you right where I want you, I will destroy you… Psychologically!" Akari declared, producing a new Eyecon.

 ****(O)**FREUD!**(O)****

She popped open her Driver, causing her armor and hoodie to dissipate as she swapped out her Eyecons.

 ****(O)**AYE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! EYES OPEN! FREUD! **(O)****

A gray parka ghost emerged from her Driver in a puff of gray smoke, swirled around her, and placed itself on her body, taking on the form of a hooded cardigan as the lines on her suit turned gray and a mask with gray eyes shaped like cigars intersecting brains formed on her face.

 ****(O)**THE FOUNDER OF PSYCHOANALYSIS! TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR MOTHER! **(O)****

"Great Eyezer!" Akari declared, pointing at the immobilized entity. "You are a sorry, one-dimensional excuse for a villain! Your motives are virtually nonexistent, your aims are unclear and horribly clichéd at best, and most damning of all, you look like nothing more than a recolor of Kamen Rider Extremer, who was a MUCH more compelling adversary and had far more to do with Takeru's philosophy, theme, and personal growth than you ever were!"

Everyone present gasped. "Oh wow! That's some burn!" The da Vinci Ganma cried in approval.

"I am Edison," Edison agreed.

"NO… NO, YOU'RE WRONG! THAT CAN'T BE TRUE!" The Great Eyezer protested, horrified.

"Unfortunately, it is," Akari lamented, stroking her chin. "I theorize this has something to do with the fact that you were designed as nothing more than a glorified overpowered security system and, incapable of developing any real desires of your own, poorly aped those of the people around you before eventually settling on the generic "kill everyone and absorb their souls" plan because that's what your previous host, Adel, wanted to do, without really understanding _why."_

The four watchers shuddered in dismay. "Okay, I'm not the only person here who thinks that's a legitimately horrifying form, right?" Dogranio asked, unnerved.

"No, I'm terrified as well," Z agreed.

"I DO NOT want to hear what somebody might conclude after picking through my brain," Evolt declared, vehemently shaking his head.

"Indeed. Also, I really don't want to talk about my mother," Abrella murmured.

"Why?" Z asked.

"I just told you, I don't want to talk about her!" Abrella snapped.

"NO! ERROR! ERROR! DOES NOT COMPUTE!" The Great Eyezer wailed. "WE… WE ARE… A _DISAPPOINTMENT_?!"

"Extremely so!" Akari declared. "And now… I shall destroy you _physically_!"

She produced a new Eyecon.

 ****(O)**EINSTEIN! **(O)****

She popped open her Driver, causing her armor and hoodie to dissipate as she swapped out her Eyecons.

 ****(O)**AYE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! GET READY PEOPLE! EYES OPEN! EINSTEIN! **(O)****

A vermilion parka ghost emerged from her Driver in a puff of vermilion smoke, swirled around her, and placed itself on her body, garbing her in a hooded sweater covered in equations as the lines on her body changed color, gloves similar to Newton's formed on her hands only with rings orbiting them, and a mask with eyes resembling atoms formed on her face.

 ****(O)**THE DISCOVERER OF RELATIVITY! E = MC** **2** **! HAIL THE BOMBASTIC ATOMIC GENIUS!**(O)****

She passed one of her gloves over her belt.

 ****(O)**EYES WIDE OPEN! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! OMEGA BOMB!**(O)****

Her gloves started glowing, the rings rotating as energy crackled around them. "Through the power of science," Akari declared. "All things shall be illuminated!"

Crying out, Akari charged forwards and punched the Great Eyezer in the chest with the force of an atomic bomb. The hardened substance encasing them shattered and the entity was sent flying, screaming, "ERROR! ERROR! FATAL ERROR 404! IF THE PROBLEM PERSISTS AFTER TURNING YOUR GANMEIZER ON AND OFF AGAIN, PLEASE CONTACT MAGISTRATE EADITH FOR TECH SUPPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!"

They exploded off in the distance in a spectacular mushroom cloud, the fires rising up to briefly form the symbol of a three-horned eye before dissipating. Their tattered golden parka drifted to the ground, all that was left of them.

"And that," Akari said triumphantly, turning to her comrades. "It's how you save the day with science, not mystical mumbo-jumbo!"

"I am Edison! Edison cried, applauding eagerly.

"But… Didn't you only win because you were calling upon the power of the _ghost_ of Albert Einstein-" a confused Newton pointed out.

"Shush! Unless you want her to punch you next!" The da Vinci Ganma hissed.

"Did you say something?" Akari asked.

"Nothing!" Newton and da Vinci yelled quickly.

"I am Edison!" Edison cried, in case anyone had forgotten in the last few seconds.

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	50. Boss Rush 11: Team Snipe vs the Axis

I had a LOT of fun with this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"That was an incredibly disappointing villain," Dogranio commented.

"Good riddance to bad rubbish," Evolt agreed with a grunt.

"Hey, the sun is coming back up," Dogranio noted as the darkness was dispelled and a second dawn rose. "Anyone have no idea how that works?"

"Not particularly, no," Abrella commented.

"And I don't really care," Evolt said cheerfully.

Z winced and shielded his eyes. "Great, natural light. Not my favorite."

"Don't you have a thing about rainbows?" Dogranio asked the Emperor.

"Yeah, but I'm still a creature of darkness, so it's sort of a forbidden fruit kind of thing?" Z admitted with a grimace.

"You gonna be okay?" Evolt asked.

"Well, it's not exactly comfortable, but I can handle some sunlight for a while… I think," Z muttered, fidgeting.

"Here, take this," Abrella said, handing Z an umbrella.

"What's this?" The dark ruler asked as he examined the object, perplexed.

"Open it and see," Abrella suggested.

"Okay," Z agreed, opening the umbrella… And much to his astonishment, was enveloped in total darkness, only his glowing red eyes visible in the pitch-black void. "Whoa!"

"The heck is that?" Asked the startled Dogranio.

"It looks like some sort of souped-up UV shield," Evolt observed.

"Correct!" Abrella exclaimed. "Think of it as a budget substitute for environmental suits like the one I'm wearing. Z, so long as you are in the dark shroud projected by the umbrella, no harmful light rays can touch you. You can stay out in broad daylight for as long as you wish without feeling any ill effects."

"Hey, thanks!" Z cried in delight. "It feels like I'm home! Oh wow, that feels so much better. Hey, do you think I could get a big bulk order? Some of my subjects who are as fascinated by the world of light as I am could make good use of something like this."

"Certainly! And since we're… "Friends," I'll even give you a discount," Abrella said generously.

"Hey, if there's so effective, how come you don't wear one?" Dogranio asked Abrella, perplexed. "You're from a dark planet yourself, aren't you?"

Abrella tapped the jar around his head. "I can't breathe the atmosphere here, remember? The umbrella would do me no good if my lungs dissolve from all the oxygen in the air." He smirked. "Also, it doesn't really match my style."

"True that," the Gangler boss acknowledged.

"Hey, can I get a refill on my popcorn?" Z asked.

"Sure," Dogranio said, pulling a new tub out of his safe… And paused. "Uh, kid, I can't really see any of you in there except for your eyes. Where am I supposed to put this? Don't want to spill it all over you by accident."

"Just hold it at the edge, I'll grab it from you," Z assured Dogranio. The elderly criminal shrugged and carefully extended the tub out until it's rim was just inside the edge of the dark veil. He felt the tug and let go of the popcorn, the food container vanishing into shadow.

"Anyone else think that's kind of creepy?" Dogranio wondered as the sounds of crunching popcorn could be heard from the void.

"No. So, who's next to watch?" Evolt asked.

"Starfish Hitler," Z said immediately, taking advantage of the fact that nobody could see him to speak with his mouth full. "It's an absolutely absurd concept! I can't wait to see what they're doing with it."

"Should I know who Hitler is?" Dogranio asked in confusion. "Is he not usually a starfish?"

"He's just some two-bit human dictator from the last century," Evolt said dismissively. "Small time in comparison to guys like us."

"Indeed," Abrella said with a disgusted sniff. "His methods of conquest and ethnic cleansing were so inefficient. I would've done a much better job if I were inclined for such a thing. Not that I ever would now, of course, since I am a legitimate businessman, and certainly wouldn't sell anyone the tools they needed to try something like that on their own."

"Of course not," Dogranio said with a straight face. "So why is he a starfish now?"

"Starfish Hitler was originally a monster created by an evil organization called the G. O. D.; the Government Of Darkness," Abrella explained. "For whatever reason, they had a bizarre penchant for creating monsters that were mash ups of animals and historical or mythological figures. Although he was a one-shot monster and swiftly beaten by Kamen Rider X, due to his incredibly memetic nature he's rather infamous and has been embraced by neo-Nazis, whose hatred and devotion to his agenda has granted him power far exceeding that of your run of the mill monster of the week.

"In any event, I shall turn on the subtitles for the benefit of our viewers, who may not understand what is being said by Starfish Hitler or his associates," Abrella decided, making a gesture at the camera.

"Is there any way we can see those as well?" Z asked.

"But of course," Abrella promised, making another gesture.

The camera turned to focus on Taiga and Nico, who were surrounded by a small army of G. O. D Warfare Agents dressed in Nazi military gear. Taiga was in his level 50 form, while Nico was still using her Metroid armor. Starfish Hitler stood in their midst, cackling maniacally and gesturing at a group of monsters at his sides. "Du hast es bisher gut gemacht, gegen meine Schergen zu kämpfen, Reiter ... Aber gegen meine neuen Freunde hast du keine Chance! Erblicken! Centipede Nobunaga!" (You have done well so far to fight my minions, rider ... But you have no chance against my new friends! Behold! Centipede Nobunaga!)

"My ambitions shall not be satisfied until I rule the world!" Roared what appeared to be the Armored Warrior Inhumanoid, but red in color with centipede motifs covering his armor and cape. "And perhaps not even then!"

"Poodle Mussolini!"

"Il fascismo è una religione. Il ventunesimo secolo sarà conosciuto nella storia come il secolo del fascismo!" Bragged an incredibly fluffy humanoid poodle dressed like an Italian soldier with the face of Mussolini. (Fascism is a religion. The twenty-first century will be known in history as the century of fascism!)

"Teddy bear Stalin!"

"Nuzhno unichtozhit' kapitalizm!" Roared an adorable teddy bear dressed like a commissar with the face of Joseph Stalin that barely came up to Nico's knees. (Must destroy capitalism!)

"Pol Pot Panda!"

"khnhom nung sangphteah muoy chenhpi chhaoeng robsa anak!" roared a panda dressed like a general with bloodstained fangs and massive claws. (I shall build a house out of your bones!)

"Sea cucumber Saddam Hussein!"

"Mn yuhawil tasaluq siajinaan , sanuhawil tasaluq manzilh!"," said an absolutely disgusting creature resembling a humanoid sea cucumber with a large orifice where its face should be, and when it opened that mouth to speak it revealed the face of Saddam Hussein. (Whoever tries to climb over our fence, we will climb over his house!)

"Osama bin Laden Otter!"

"Almawt lajamie alkafaar!" snarled a monstrous humanoid otter with a ragged beard dressed like an imam. (Death to all infidels!)

"Und Cockroach Kim Jong-Il!"

"naneun siljelo ag-uiga-eobsneun bi inganhyeong-i anibnida. igeos-i jega siljelo boineun moseub-ibnida. uli gajog-eun modu daleun haengseong-ui gonchung goemul-ibnida," explained what appeared to be a Darkroach with the face of Kim Jong-Il. (I'm actually not a Villainous Inhumanoid, this is what I really look like. My family are all insect monsters from another planet.)

"Und schließlich bin ich, der Super Starifsh Hitler, der Anführer der neuen Achse des Bösen!" Starfish Hitler declared. "Zusammen werden wir diese Welt beherrschen, und ich werde der Führer von allem sein, was ich überblicke! Bwahahahahaha!" (And finally, I, Super Starfish Hitler, am the leader of the new axis of evil! Together we will rule this world, and I will be the Fuhrer of everything that I survey! Bwahahahahaha!)

All the resurrected part-animal historical dictators threw back their heads and laughed malevolently.

Taiga and Nico stared at them blankly. "For the last time!" Nico yelled finally. "WE! DON'T! UNDERSTAND! YOU! SPEAK! JAPANESE!"

Starfish Hitler facepalmed and groaned.

"… Okay then," Evolt said after a moment, dumbfounded.

"Should we know who these other guys are?" Asked a baffled Dogranio.

"More monsters created from fusions of animals and historical human dictators," Abrella explained.

"Where did they come from? I thought the G. O. D. was defunct," Z questioned.

"How do you know about that?" Asked the surprised Evolt.

"Aside from the fact that X came onto the scene decades ago, so of course they've probably been long since dismantled? Hello? I'm the Emperor of Darkness!" Z reminded them. "I'm pointing to myself, but you probably can't see that due to this umbrella."

"You're right, we can't," Abrella agreed.

"He was ranting about how we are the new axis of evil, and with himself at our head, he will dominate the world and become the Führer of everything," Centipede Nobunaga translated helpfully.

"Thank you, Centipede Nobunaga!" Nico exclaimed in relief. "… Is something I never thought I'd say."

"And the others?" Taiga asked.

Centipede Nobunaga shrugged. "Nothing important for the most part, except that Teddy Bear Stalin wants to destroy capitalism and apparently the entire Kim family are actually evil alien cockroaches from another world."

"Oh, like in that one movie!" Nico cried, surprised.

"What movie?" Taiga asked in confusion.

"Oh, just something I saw in America," Nico said. "It was extremely vulgar and involved puppets having bad sex."

"… What?!" Taiga cried in disbelief.

"Come on, it's not that much weirder than some of the shows WE make!" Nico pointed out, to which Taiga had no real retort.

Centipede Nobunaga shook his head. "My country sure has changed over the last few centuries…"

"Genug davon! Schnappt sie!" Starfish Hitler shouted, pointing at the Riders. (Enough of this! Get them!)

"He said-" Centipede Nobunaga began.

"Thanks, but I think we get the gist," Taiga interjected as the G. O. D. Warfare Agents did the Nazi salute, shouted "HEIL!" And charged at them, the monsters of the new axis of evil following suit. He glanced at Nico. "You ready for this?"

Nico grinned. "Getting to beat up a bunch of Nazi scumbags and some of history's greatest monsters with the powers of Samus Aran and my good-looking sidekick? Dude, if there isn't a game about this, we should totally make one!"

"I'm not your side-" Taiga started, only to pause. "Wait, did you just say I was good-looking?"

Suddenly, there was an explosion that sent several of the soldiers flying. "Don't think you can distract me by blowing things up, I want you to explain yourself!" Taiga demanded.

"As much as I'd like to take credit for that, it wasn't me," said the baffled Nico.

"What? But if that wasn't you, and it certainly wasn't me, then who…?" Taiga wondered.

There was another explosion, followed by the sound of very familiar-sounding maniacal laughter. Without warning, a large tank resembling the form that Nico could transform into using Bang Bang Tank roared into view, the massive military vehicle running over several Warfare Agents, Osama Bin Laden Otter, and Cockroach Kim Jong-Il.

"Nan gwaenchanh-a!" (I'm okay!) The cockroach monster cried as he sprung back up, face covered in tread marks. Osama bin Laden Otter stayed down, clearly dead.

"He says he's okay, but I don't think any of us actually care," Centipede Nobunaga translated. Cockroach Kim Jong-Il glared at him.

"Who the hell is that?!" Nico demanded.

"Wait," Taiga whispered, seeing "TEAM SNIPE" emblazoned on the side of the tank. "Don't tell me…"

The hatch on top of the tank opened, and a Rider wearing armor resembling Taiga's Level 1 form, only gray around the helmet, popped up. "Hey guys! You miss me?"

"JIRO?!" Taiga and Nico both cried in disbelief.

"And should we know who this guy is?" Dogranio asked, increasingly bewildered.

"That's Jiro Maki, an associate of Kamen Rider Snipe," Abrella explained, looking equally confused. "He wasn't a Rider last I heard, though…"

"What are you doing here?!" Taiga demanded.

Jiro burst into laughter. "What, you didn't think I was going to let my best friend and his sidekick fight Nazis without me, were you?"

"Not his sidekick!" Nico yelled.

"The minute I heard you guys were in the middle of a big thing, I came right over to help," Jiro explained. "And since it occurred to me that it wouldn't really make sense to be the only one of us who can't transform, I went ahead and got a Driver from Genm on the way over, so now you can call me Jiro Snipe!"

"Okay," Taiga said, confused. "But where did you get the tank from?"

Jiro just laughed maniacally at that.

"Abrella, did you sell it to him?" Evolt asked Abrella suspiciously.

"No, this is as much a surprise to me as it is to you," Abrella refuted him.

"Es ist mir egal, wer du bist! Töte sie! Töte sie alle!" An outraged Starfish Hitler yelled, pointing at the heroes. (I do not care who you are! Kill them! Kill them all! )

"I don't think you really need me to translate that," Centipede Nobunaga said apologetically.

"No, we don't," Taiga agreed. "Okay… Jiro, first of all, thanks for coming to help."

"No problem!" Jiro quipped.

"If this were any other time I'd yell at you for getting involved in something as dangerous as this, or trying to transform considering the last time you did it KILLED you," Taiga went on. "But seeing as how you're here and you seem okay, that will have to wait for another time. Let's take these guys down!"

"Mission Start!" Nico whooped.

"Let's show them what Team Snipe is made of!" Jiro cried, dropping back into the tank and closing the hatch behind him.

The villains and Nazi soldiers roared furiously and charged towards the trio.

They soon regretted it.

"Ha! You Nazi scumbags think you can take me?! Do you have any idea how many first-person shooter games I played where I get to kill you guys en masse? All of that has been training for this moment!" Nico cried, firing blast after blast from her arm cannon, getting perfect headshots on every Warfare Agent stupid enough to rush towards her.

Taiga continuously punched and kicked at the air, most of his blows striking a Warfare Agent, and even if they didn't, the cannons all over his body fired, blowing some hapless minion to pieces. "You've made a huge mistake facing me in this form!" He warned the goons as more kept coming, his HUD lighting up as his targeting software activated. "You're just giving me more and more targets to hit!" He spread his arms out to the side, and the cannons mounted on his shoulders fired, launching a tremendous fusillade of missiles which obliterated everything around him.

"Yes! Run! That's right, run! Bwahahahahaha!" Jiro cackled madly as he chased after some fleeing Warfare Agents, firing his cannon periodically to blow up pieces of the landscape and send goons flying and running over any Nazi too slow to get out of his way. "Look at me go! I am such a big hero right now! Gyahaha-eh?"

With a roar, Pol Pot Panda slammed into the front of the tank, muscles rippling as he pushed back against the vehicle, causing the treads to shudder and grind to a halt. "dambaung khnhom nung yk saamnbahang nih khtech chenh banteabmk khnhom nung daoh kruengosastravouth robsa anak chenh banteabmk khnhom nung briphok sach robsa anak haey banteabmk tiet khnhom nung yk chhaoengchomni muoy chenhpi chhaoeng robsa anak!"!" He snarled as he gripped the tank by its underside and started to lift, attempting to flip it over. ("First I shall peel this tin can apart, then I will tear off your armor, and then I shall feast on your flesh, and THEN I shall make a footstool out of your bones!)

Jiro opened his hatch and poked his head out. "Hey, cut that out!" He drew his side-arm… And hesitated. "Hey, Taiga?"

"What?!" Demanded Taiga, who was exchanging blows and gunfire with Poodle Mussolini.

Jiro gestured at the panda monster, who was slowly starting to tilt the tank back with his tremendous strength. "Can I kill this guy? Pandas are an endangered species, last time I checked, and I don't want to get in trouble!"

"I'm pretty sure that in this case, it's fine!" Taiga grunted, sticking an Overblast Cannon in Poodle Mussolini's mouth and firing, blowing the back of his skull out.

"Okay, but if PETA or some other animal activist group send assassins to kill me, I'm blaming you!" Jiro decided, aiming his gun at Pol Pot Panda and firing, taking out an eye.

The monster grunted in surprise, losing his grip on the tank and stumbling backwards, clutching his bleeding socket. Jiro ducked back inside the tank and swiveled the main turret, clocking the panda on the side of his head and dazing him. The tank surged forwards, and Pol Pot Panda cried out in agony as he was dragged underneath the treads, the tank rocking and nearly tipping over as it ran over the revived dictator's bulk.

Jiro popped his head out of the hatch, looking back to see a mangled panda corpse in his wake. "And that's for the Khmer Rouge!" Jiro proclaimed triumphantly. He grimaced as he took another look at the body. "Oh wow, that looks really bad. Maybe I should ask Taiga how he disposed of bodies in his back alley doctor days, I REALLY don't want to get in trouble for this…"

"I feel like I should feel bad that a panda was killed, but he was really scary and based on an incredibly horrible dictator, so maybe not," Z commented, feeling conflicted.

"I'm suddenly reminded for some reason of a former associate of mine, the Megabeast Hunter Bangray," Abrella spoke up abruptly. "As the name implies, he traveled the universe, hunting rare giant creatures across the cosmos, with 99 confirmed kills. He rendered quite a few species extinct, and a great number of animal rights groups tried to kill him in retribution."

"And let me guess, they found themselves as his next prey?" Dogranio speculated.

Abrella nodded. "Indeed. He met his end on this planet a few years ago while seeking out his 100th prey, the legendary Cube Whale. A pity, I made quite a lot of business off the Megabeast parts and hides he sold me… Not that I would ever market in such ghastly business anymore, good heavens no."

"Of course not," Evolt said sarcastically.

"Dang it, what will it take to kill you?!" Nico demanded as she unloaded beam after missile after beam into Cockroach Kim Jong-Il. Much to her frustration, no matter what she fired at him, no matter how much damage he seemed to take, the cockroach just got back up for more.

"meonjeoi kkangtong-eul tteeo naego gab-os-eul beosgigo yugcheleul mankkighamyeon ppyeoeseo balpan-eul mandeul geos-ibnida!" Cockroach Kim Jong-Il bragged. (My species is absurdly resilient. It will take a lot more than you possess to defeat me!)

"Oh my Gaim, I don't understand moonspeak!" Nico shouted. "Don't ANY of you know Japanese-"

"NUZHNO UNICHTOZHIT' KAPITALIZM!" (Must destroy capitalism!)

Nico screamed in alarm as Teddy Bear Stalin jumped onto her helmet, the Russian cub's gnashing teeth filling her visor as he clawed and bit at her face. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Get him off, get him off!" She wailed, flailing around frantically.

Cockroach Kim Jong-Il burst into laughter. "eoliseog-eun sonyeo, ije naega neoleul pagoe hal geos-ida!" (Foolish girl! Now I will destroy you!) He taunted, firing energy beams at Nico…

Which missed, due to Nico running around screaming while trying to dislodge Teddy Bear Stalin. "Ahem. eoliseog-eun sonyeo, ije naega neoleul pagoe hal geos-ida!" (Ahem. Foolish girl! Now I will destroy you!)

Cockroach Kim Jong-Il fired more energy beams. These also missed. "ibwa, jaleu gessni? nan geunyeoleul ssolyeogo haeyo!" (Hey, could you cut that out? I'm trying to shoot her!) Cockroach Kim Jong-Il yelled at Teddy Bear Stalin.

Teddy Bear Stalin shot the cockroach a confused look. "Ey, ty ne mog by eto vyrezat'? YA pytayus' zastrelit' yeye!" (What did you say? I didn't understand you, speak Russian!)

Cockroach Kim Jong-Il scratched his head, baffled. "museun malsseum-eul hasyeossnayo? ihaega an dwae hangug-eoleul haeyo!" (What did you say? I didn't understand you, speak Korean!)

"Kakaya?" (What?)

"Mwo?" (What?)

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Nico screamed. "I don't understand you and you don't understand each other so everyone just. STOP. _TALKING_!"

Having absolutely had it with both of them, Nico decided to emulate the heroine her form was based off of and get rid of the irritating parasite on her head by curling into her Morph Ball form and dropping a Power Bomb.

The resulting explosion was so massive and incandescent it was like a second sun briefly flared into life on the battlefield before abruptly being snuffed out, leaving behind a massive crater and vaporizing dozens of G. O. D. Warfare Agents unlucky enough to be in the startlingly vast vicinity.

Overkill? Perhaps.

Satisfying? Most definitely.

Nico uncurled from her Morph Ball form, the form of Teddy Bear Stalin, still clinging to her helmet, turning to ashes and blowing away. She glanced around, noticing that all that was left of Cockroach Kim Jong-Il were a pair of smoking feet standing some distance away. She sighed in relief, the tension leaving her shoulders. "Thank goodness that's over with. Now I never have to hear that gobbledygook again-"

Suddenly, a corpulent humanoid Aye-Aye wearing the uniform of a Ugandan general with a kilt and bagpipe appeared. "Usikose ulinzi wako bado, msichana mpumbavu!" (Do not drop your guard just yet, foolish girl!) He screeched in Swahili. "Kwa sasa lazima unichukie, Aye-Aye Idi Amin, Mfalme wa kweli wa Scotland-" (For now you must face me, Aye-Aye Idi Amin, the last true King of Scotland-)

Before he could finish, Nico screamed in wordless fury and charged at him, intending to obliterate Aye-Aye Idi Amin, who had no idea what he'd gotten himself into.

Once she was gone, Cockroach Kim Jong-Il, who'd managed to save himself but at the cost of his feet, poked his head out from where he'd buried himself in the ground. "mangchyeo, nan jib-e galgeoya," (screw this, I'm going home,) he grumbled, beginning the long, long crawl back to North Korea. "I ilbon yeojadeul-eun michyeoss-eo!" (The women in this country are crazy!)

"Should we tell her the cockroach is getting away?" Z asked.

"No," Evolt said bluntly.

"Where that guy come from?" Asked the bewildered Dogranio.

"I have no earthly idea, and it's getting irritating," Abrella complained, starting to look annoyed.

Meanwhile, Taiga was having a very bizarre and unorthodox battle with Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein. "What… What the hell is this?!" The Rider demanded, horrified and disgusted as the monster opened its mouth and the face of Saddam Hussein extruded outwards… And out, and out, and out, the Middle Eastern dictator's visage just the tip of a grotesque fleshy mass of slime and guts and internal organs, the monster's body shriveling and collapsing on itself as it pushed more and more of its innards outwards.

"Okay, that is just VILE!" Cried a horrified and disgusted Dogranio.

Retching sounds could be heard from underneath Z's umbrella. "None of you can see, but I just threw up," the Emperor informed them. "Also, I need a new thing of popcorn. Evolt, I don't suppose you could make a blackhole to dispose of the waste?"

"Yeah, no," Evolt cried, leaning away in disgust. "Take care of it yourself."

Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein laughed. "'araa 'anak last ealaa eilm bialtabieat alhaqiqiat likhiar albhr! ladayhim alqudrat ealaa alqay' 'iilaa alkharij eind muhajimatihim min qibal alhayawanat almuftarasat lilsamah lahum bialfarar. Wamae dhlk , laqad taealamt kayfiat aistikhdam hadhih alqudrat li'aghrad msyy!" (I see that you are unaware of the true nature of sea cucumbers! They have the ability to vomit out their innards when attacked by predators to allow themselves to escape. I, however, have learned how to use this ability for offensive purposes!)

"What?" Taiga asked in confusion, just before Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein's face snapped forwards, the fleshy tendril slamming into Taiga's chest with the force of a semi truck and flinging him backwards.

"What the hell?!" Taiga demanded as he pulled himself back up, befuddled and horrified. "Didn't… Didn't that hurt you, too?!"

Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein cackled madly, the tentacle weaving chaotically through the air. "Lays biqadr ma sayudhik!" (Not as much as it will hurt you)

The tendril snapped forward, Taiga barely rolling out of the way before it could slam down where he'd been standing, shattering the ground. Taiga quickly got up and opened fire at the tentacle, but it twisted and turned wildly through the air, each shot passing through a gap in the mass's coils. Getting an idea, Taiga quickly dove out of the way as the tentacle lashed out again, rolling into a crouch and immediately firing his cannons at Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein's body, which was standing idly as the tentacle violently flailed about.

Sparks and minor explosions rocked the monster's body as his shells and rockets struck it… But other than that, nothing happened. "What! That did nothing?!"

"ablh! 'aya juz' miniy qad yatadarar hna! hdha lays 'akthar min qushrat farighat , ghyr qadirat ealaa alshueur bi'ayi shay' hataa 'aeud 'iilayh ... ma sa'afealuh bimujrid aintihayiyin min sahaqak!" (Imbecile! Any part of me that COULD be damaged is right here! That is nothing more than an empty husk, incapable of feeling anything until I return to it… Which I will do as soon as I finish crushing you!) Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein bragged, tentacle dancing madly through the air.

"Doesn't that mean that once he returns to his body, he'll be in horrific pain?" Z pointed out.

"He probably figures that if he kills that guy, it'll be worth it," Dogranio guessed. "And fair enough, I can see where he's coming from."

"What?" Taiga asked in confusion just before the tentacle lunged at him again. Once more, he dove to the side, but the tentacle immediately doubled back and wrapped around his ankles, pulling him off his feet and raising him into the air.

The Rider wailed as the tendril flung him back and forth, slamming him into the ground over and over again. He struggled to get a bead on anything he could shoot, but the tentacle always kept him too disoriented to get a lock on anything with his targeting software, and kept contorting out of the way whenever he tried firing blindly. His visor cracked, and angry alarms started blaring inside his helmet…

And suddenly, there was the sound of Japanese steel slicing through flesh, followed by the visceral splatter of liquids and an anguished scream that quickly turned into a dull whimper. Immediately after that, Taiga hit the ground again, but this time, nothing pulled him back up. "Okay," he groaned. "That is not an experience I would like to repeat."

"Here, my friend. Allow me."

An armored hand appeared in Taiga's vision. Grateful, Taiga grabbed it and allowed himself to be pulled up and out of the limp coils of Sea Cucumber Saddam Hussein, whose tendril had been neatly severed from his body, the two now lying on the ground, leaking disgusting fluids all over the place as a foul odor filled the air. "Hey, thanks… Centipede Nobunaga?!"

The armored warlord laughed. "Indeed! Or at least, that's what I'm going by for the moment."

"I don't understand… Why are you helping me?" Taiga demanded, bewildered.

Centipede Nobunaga laughed again. "Haven't you been reading the newsletters? I'm a good guy now!"

He twirled, his armor vanishing in a burst of purple flames and revealing a figure in violet and gold resembling a daimyo. He snapped his fingers, and a Gan Gun Hand in its Rifle Mode materialized in his hands. "I only pretended to be evil when I was summoned," the legendary warlord explained. "So that I could wait for an opportunity to strike and aid my rightful comrades."

If he'd had a face, Nobunaga probably would've grimaced. "That happens a lot more often than you might think. It's almost exasperating how many times I get summoned by someone who wants to take over the world or thinks that I'm still interested in ruling the world. I've had enough of that, thank you very much."

"Oh, COME ON!" Evolt shouted, livid. "Nobunaga, one of the good guys?! Seriously?!"

"Didn't see that coming," remarked a pleasantly surprised Z.

"This probably would be a lot more impactful if I had any idea who the hell Nobunaga was," Dogranio complained.

"One of the most infamous figures in Japanese history, a legendary warlord who nearly conquered the entire country during the middle of a massive civil war," Abrella explained. "He's been rather demonized and vilified by Japanese culture ever since, and is often appeared as an antagonist in various forms of media. He even tried to take over the world a few years ago when he was resurrected by the Kougami Foundation. After being summoned as a heroic spirit to aid Kamen Rider Ghost, however, he seems to have given up on that sort of thing and is more or less on the side of good now."

"Oh," Dogranio said. "What a disappointment."

"I know, right?!" Evolt complained.

"Well… Thank you for helping," Taiga expressed his gratitude, still somewhat out of sorts. "I never thought I'd be fighting alongside Oda Nobunaga, but then again, my sidekick turned into a tank earlier today, so I suppose I should resign myself to the fact that nothing is impossible in this world."

"Not your sidekick!" Nico yelled, running over. "So wait, Nobunaga is a good guy now?"

"Apparently," Taiga told her.

"Oh." Nico considered this for a moment. "Should I feel bad for all the times I've killed him in video games?"

"You've done what now?" Nobunaga asked, disturbed.

"So, does that mean we get Nobunaga on Team Snipe?" Jiro asked as he drove over, popping out of the hatch. "Because if so, that means we've upped our pedigree significantly!"

Starfish Hitler was livid. "Nobunaga, du Verräter!" He bellowed. "Wie kannst du es wagen mich zu verraten!" (Nobunaga, you traitor! How dare you betray me!)

"To betray you would imply I was ever on your side in the first place," Nobunaga scoffed. "As if I would ever allow a foreign conqueror to subjugate my homeland! If anyone is to rule Japan, it will be me!"

"I thought you said-" Taiga began.

"I'm not interested in taking over the _world_. Japan, maybe," Nobunaga informed him. "I mean, you seem to be doing a lot better than you were in my day, but there's still quite a lot that I think could be improved upon."

"He's not wrong," Nico admitted.

"Nico, don't agree with the ambiguously evil legendary warlord," Taiga chided her.

"Ich bin umgeben von Schwachköpfen und Inkompetenten!" Starfish Hitler ranted. "Ich werde mich einfach selbst um dich kümmern müssen!" (I am surrounded by morons and incompetents! I'll just have to take care of you myself!)

"SPEAK! JAPANESE!" Nico screamed.

"What did he say?" Jiro asked.

"He's going to try and kill us himself," Nobunaga explained.

"He can _try_ ," Taiga snorted. "Everyone! Take him out!"

The three Riders and Nobunaga unloaded on Starfish Hitler, bombarding him with tank shells, energy beams, missiles, and bullets, enveloping the revived dictator in a great explosion. However, when the smoke cleared…

"He survived that?!" Taiga cried in surprise.

"Should we really be surprised? I mean, that kind of thing happens all the time," Nico pointed out.

Indeed, Starfish Hitler was still alive. Although the ground around him had been turned to glass he himself was still alive, a glowing red and black swastika of energy floating before him. He laughed malevolently. "Trottel! Du kannst meine Barriere nicht antreiben! Es schürt den Hass aller, die an die Nazi-Sache glauben!" (Fool! You cannot penetrate my barrier! It is fueled by the hatred of all who believe in the Nazi cause!)

"He says that his barrier cannot be penetrated and is powered by the hatred of all who believe in his cause," Nobunaga translated.

"Gaimdamn white supremacists, Holocaust deniers, and neo-Nazis!" Nico swore. "I had to deal with enough of those hate-filled bigots when I was in America, we don't need any of that over here too!"

"Wait… If his shield is powered by hatred, then maybe…" Jiro gasped and snapped his fingers. "Of course! We have to counter the power of hatred with the power of love!"

"Love?! Seriously?" Taiga demanded, incredulous.

"There is precedence for that sort of thing," Nobunaga admitted.

"And how, precisely, are we supposed to weaponize love?" Taiga demanded. "Our weapons are guns! We're not magical girls!"

"Speaking of which, do any of you guys think I would make a good magical girl?" Evolt asked out of the blue.

Everyone stared at him, dumbfounded. "I… What?" Abrella stammered.

"No, no, just picture it! Magical Girl Evolto-chan!" Evolt squealed in a moe, falsetto voice. "I think I could pull it off."

They tried to picture it. Z threw up again. "Damn you," Dogranio hissed, seething in rage and disgust.

"You may be the most evil person I've ever met," Abrella informed Evolt. "And I'm not sure that's a compliment."

Evolt just laughed. Z groaned. "I think I need another popcorn refill…"

"…Shit," Nico swore. She pulled off her helmet. "Taiga, take off your helmet."

"Why?" The senior Rider asked in confusion.

"Just… Just do it, okay!" Nico snapped, cheeks turning red.

"Okay," Taiga muttered in bemusement, fumbling with the clasps that kept his helmet on. An embarrassingly long time later, he managed to pull it off. "So why did-"

Nico kissed him.

It was not a magical moment. There were no songs or fireworks, doves didn't fill the air, and the earth didn't move beneath their feet. It was clumsy and awkward and they could both taste what each other had eaten recently and in the back of their minds both of them couldn't help thinking this was really embarrassing.

And yet…

And yet, for a moment, the world seemed to disappear. For a single moment, it was like the two of them were the only people in existence.

And then, gradually, as they became aware of the need to breathe, they also became aware of the incredulous swearing in German and the hysterical laughter of a certain piece of shit who dared to call himself Taiga's best friend.

"Oh my Gaim! OH MY GAIM!" Jiro cried, slapping the top of the tank and laughing so hard he was shaking from head to toe, and seemed to be having trouble breathing. After several gasps of air, he yelled, "I can't – –hahahaha – – I can't believe that the two of you – –ahahahaha – – that you actually fell for it! AHAHAHAHA! YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES!"

"Aha! A most amusing just!" Nobunaga chortled.

Three of the four observers burst into laughter. "This guy! This guy! I like this guy!" Evolt proclaimed, pointing at Jiro excitedly.

"I can't believe those saps fell for it!" Dogranio cackled madly.

"The number of 'fail' compilations this will be a part of defy comprehension!" Abrella declared eagerly.

Z, on the other hand, sulked. "It's not that funny. I thought it was kind of romantic until that jerk ruined it."

Nico and Taiga quickly broke their kiss. They stared at each other, minds racing, struggling to comprehend what had just transpired. Finally, Nico gently asked, "Taiga, I know he's your best friend, but may I kill him please?"

"No," Taiga said just as gently. "He's my best friend, which means I have the right to kill him first."

"Hallo! Was macht ihr alle?! ACHTE AUF MICH!" (Hey! What are you all doing? Pay attention to me!) Starfish Hitler roared, infuriated that everyone seemed to have forgotten he was there in favor of focusing on the drama going on between Taiga and Nico.

Nico blinked. "… Oh snap, I forgot about him!"

"You forgot?!" Taiga demanded.

"Look, between the kiss and my sudden desire to murder Jiro, my mind's a little occupied right now!" She snapped. "Like you can say any different!"

Taiga found that he could not. "… About that kiss…"

"We'll talk about it later," Nico said quickly. "After we murder Jiro."

"Agreed," Taiga conceded.

"You're not concerned that your friends wish to kill you?" Nobunaga asked Jiro.

"Nah, they don't mean it," Jiro chuckled. "… Probably. And even if they do, it's not the first time I've died. I'll get better."

Nobunaga nodded in understanding. "Ah, I see. So I'm not the only one of us who has come back from the dead! I am in good company, then."

"Hör auf! Ihr alle, HALT ES AN!" (Stop it! All of you, stop it!) Starfish Hitler bellowed, outraged he had been a ignored again. "Du wagst es, mich zu ignorieren? Dann leide meinen Zorn und erkenne das volle Ausmaß deiner Torheit!" (You dare to ignore me? Then suffer my wrath and realize the full extent of your folly! )

"What did he say?" Jiro asked.

"That he's going to make us pay for ignoring him," Nobunaga translated.

"UMKOMMEN!" (Perish!) Starfish Hitler bellowed, raising his saber into the air. A giant energy swastika materialized above Team Snipe, and bolts of lightning surrounded by swastika-shaped sparks lanced down from it, striking the Riders (and Nobunaga) again and again, the foursome crying in agony as they were bombarded by the hateful power before finally being blasted away in a series of explosions. (Except for Jiro and his tank, which rocked a bit but was still more or less intact. Where did he _get_ the thing?)

"Okay," Taiga groaned. "In the future, we should remember that just because he looks ridiculous and has an insane motif doesn't mean he's not a threat."

"My head is ringing," Nico moaned. "I should never have taken my helmet off. I blame Jiro."

"If I weren't already dead, I think that would've killed me," Nobunaga whimpered.

"Sterben! Sterben! Sterben!" (Die! Die! Die!) Starfish Hitler cackled, flinging swastika-shaped starfish charged with energy like throwing stars, the projectiles exploding spectacularly on impact.

"Quick, everyone get behind me! I'll give you some cover!" Jiro cried, swiftly driving his tank in front of the others, the starfish hitting his vehicle and detonating, but not doing much more than superficial damage.

"Seriously man, where did you get this thing? I'm pretty sure most tanks can't take hits like this," Taiga remarked as he, Nico, and Nobunaga quickly hunkered down on the other side of the tank. He and Nico quickly put their helmets back on while Nobunaga occasionally poked his head up and fired a few shots at Starfish Hitler, blasting some of the starfish out of the air but failing to do any damage to the villain's barrier.

"You're probably better off not knowing," Jiro said evasively as he fired his tank's main gu at n Starfish Hitler. Unfortunately, his shells didn't seem to have much of an impact against the fiend's barrier, either. "So, anyone got any ideas on how we can beat this guy? The power of love didn't work, so I guess that means you and Nico probably aren't cut out to be a couple."

"First of all, shut the fuck up," Nico barked. "Second…" Nico peeked her head out from cover, her visor glowing. "I'm going to do what I should've done the first place and use my Scan Visor to see if I can find any weaknesses."

"Got anything?" Taiga asked, launching a few missiles over the tank at the ground in front of Starfish Hitler, wrecking the terrain and creating a smokescreen which they quickly used to relocate while the dictator was unable to see them.

Nico nodded. "Yeah. Says a powerful enough kinetic impact should be able to break through. My Speed Booster would probably cut it, but…" She paused, glancing up at the tank. A slow grin crossed her face. "I think I have an even BETTER idea."

"Nico, what are you about to do?" Taiga asked warily.

"Something AWESOME," Nico boasted. She curled into her Morph Ball form and rolled up the side of the tank, activating her Spider Ball ability to magnetically cling to its side and roll up its surface.

"Your woman is quite willful," Nobunaga observed.

"She's not my woman !" Taiga snapped quickly.

"Really? That kiss would seem to suggest otherwise," Nobunaga pointed out. "It wasn't an insult, by the way. My own wife is much the same way."

Taiga groaned. "Can we not talk about this?"

"Nico, why do my sensors show that you're rolling down the length of my canon?" Asked a confused Jiro from inside the tank.

"Because I want you to shoot me out of it," Nico explained as she neared the tip of the canon.

"What?!" Taiga shouted.

"… Oh ho ho, I like the way you think!" Jiro cackled. "Okay, just let me know when you're in position!"

"Roger that!" The girl replied. "Taiga, Nobunaga, think you could give me some covering fire?"

"Certainly," Nobunaga answered, poking his head out and firing his gun at Starfish Hitler.

Taiga sighed. "Nico, you're going to get yourself killed one of these days, you know that?" He complained, firing more missiles at Starfish Hitler.

"Not today," Nico said optimistically, popping into the tank's gun barrel. "Jiro, on my mark, I want you to fire me right at Starfish Hitler!"

"Sure, waiting on your signal!" Jiro reported, aiming at the dead center of the tyrant's barrier.

Nico glowed, charging up energy as she prepared her Boost Ball ability. "Three… Two… One… FIRE!"

Jiro fired his cannon a split second after Nico activated her Boost Ball. The combined force of the tank's gun and her own propulsion system launched her from the barrel with such force it created a sonic boom, rocking the tank back on its trends. Faster than the eye could see, leaving a trail of orange light in her wake, Nico slammed into the barrier, sparks flying as she ground against it, revolving several million times a second.

Starfish Hitler was startled by this unorthodox attack, but laughed. "Pathetisch! Es wird mehr als das brauchen, um einzudringen-" (Pathetic! It will take more than that to penetrate-)

With an earth-shattering thunderclap, the barrier was annihilated and Nico slammed into and through his chest, ripping out the other side and smashing into a distant cliff face with such tremendous strength the entire rock formation collapsed on itself.

"… Okay, that was crazy awesome," Evolt admitted. "Gotta give her credit for such a ridiculous but wicked cool idea."

"I want to get fired out of a cannon!" Z cried ecstatically.

"Pretty sure you need years of circus training before you can do that," Dogranio corrected him.

"Not really, anyone can jump into a cannon and get fired out of it," Abrella retorted. "The question, of course, is whether or not you'll survive…"

"NICO!" Taiga cried in horror as Starfish Hitler gasped, staring at the tremendous hole in his body in disbelief.

There was the muffled sound of a few explosions, and part of the pile of rubble shifted, Nico clawing her way out, her armor scuffed, dented, and scratched, but otherwise intact. "I'm okay!" She yelled, giving a thumbs-up.

"That was incredible! Can we do that again?!" Jiro asked giddily.

"Sure thing! As soon as I stop seeing five of you," Nico said in a daze.

"We might have to… Look!" Nobunaga cried in warning, pointing at Starfish Hitler.

The tyrant cackled as the wound in his chest started to close up. "Narren! Offensichtlich haben Sie vergessen, dass Seesterne unglaubliche Regenerationsfähigkeiten haben! In wenigen Augenblicken bin ich mit voller Kraft zurück, und alle Ihre Bemühungen werden nichts bringen!" (Fool! Obviously you have forgotten that starfish have incredible regeneration abilities! In a few moments, I will be back at full strength, and all your efforts will have been for naught!)

"What?" Taiga asked, bewildered.

"Guys, am I the only one who sees that big hole I made starting to seal up?" Nico asked, bewildered. "I'm starting to wonder if I have a concussion…"

"No, starfish have powerful regenerative abilities! Usually that extends to regrowing lost limbs, but for monsters like Starfish Hitler it must amount to an incredible healing factor!" Jiro realized.

"Then we'll just have to destroy him completely, down to the last cell, before he can regenerate and get that barrier back up," Taiga decided. "Nico, can you handle a finisher in your condition?"

"Taiga, I've beaten 72 raid bosses without food, water, sleep, or using the bathroom, then went back to school the next day and aced my exams," Nico bragged. "This'll be a piece of cake in comparison."

"… I'm fairly certain that's monstrously unhealthy and a serious health risk we should probably talk about later, but okay then! Everyone, aim and fire!" Taiga declared, flipping the lever on his Driver.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! |**

 **}!{BANG BANG CRITICAL STRIKE/FIRE! }!{**

 **}!{ METROID CRITICAL BEAM! }!{**

 ****(O)**EYES WIDE OPEN! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! GET HYPED PEOPLE! OMEGA SPARK!**(O)****

Taiga opened fire with all his cannons at once, Jiro took a page out of Nico's book and fired himself out of his tank, his body encased in an energy construct shaped like a bullet, Nico fired an absolutely tremendous energy beam from her arm cannon, and Nobunaga conjured spectral rifles beside him and opened fire. As the spectacular volley drew near, Starfish Hitler realized he was done for, so struck a pose and bellowed out, "Diese Niederlage ist nur ein Rückschlag! Solange es Menschen auf dieser Welt gibt, die meine Ideale teilen, kann ich niemals wirklich sterben! Mein Hass wird für immer andauern!" (This defeat is but a setback! So long as there are those in this world who share my ideals, I can never truly die! My hatred will last FOREVER!)

And then he was engulfed in the combined barrage of the four heroes, and was no more.

"Was that overkill?" Z wondered.

Dogranio laughed. "No such thing, kid!"

Abrella nodded. "Indeed. If anything, it could've used him MORE cannons."

"Hey Evolt, would that have killed you?" Z asked the alien horror.

"No," Evolt said bluntly.

"… Did he say something?" Taiga asked, confused.

"If he did, I couldn't hear it over all the explosions," Nobunaga reported.

"Probably the standard sort of thing about how his hatred is eternal or something, you know how guys like that are," Nico said dismissively.

"Guys?" Jiro whined as he staggered about, dazed. "I think I may have a concussion. In retrospect, shooting myself out of a tank may not have been the smartest idea I've ever had."

"NEIN! Mein Bruder!" An unfamiliar voice shouted. (NO! My brother!)

Much to their bewilderment, a crocodile wearing a Nazi officer's uniform rushed over and looked at the scorching crater that had once been Starfish Hitler in dismay. "… Okay, now I KNOW I have a concussion," Jiro said slowly. "Unless everyone else is seeing this too?"

"If you have a concussion, then I think we all must have one," said the bewildered Taiga.

"This has just been the weirdest day ever," Nico complained.

Trembling with rage, the Nazi crocodile drew a saber. "Wie kannst du es wagen, meinen Kaiser zu töten! Im Namen meines Bruders werde ich, Führerkrokodil, Rache-" (How dare you kill my Kaiser! In my brother's name, I, Fuhrer Crocodile, shall avenge-)

With a series of ominous clicks, everyone pointed their guns, armed and ready, at Fuhrer Crocodile. The Invader Robot Crime Monster hesitated. "... Weißt du was, zweitens mochte ich Starfish Hitler sowieso nicht so sehr. Er war irgendwie ein mieser Bruder. Ich bin nur ... ich gehe jetzt einfach ..." (… You know what, on second thought, I didn't like Starfish Hitler that much anyway. He was kind of a lousy brother. I'm just… I'm just going to go now…)

He quickly scurried away, grabbing the arms of an obese cat man dressed like a Chinese politician and a disappointed Colonel Zol in his Wolf Man form. "Zěnmeliǎo? Wǒmen bù dǎjià ma?" The confused feline asked as he was dragged away. (What's wrong? Weren't we going to fight?)

"Ein anderer Tag, Vorsitzender Meow. Ein anderer Tag!" (Another day, Chairman Meow. Another day!) Fuhrer Crocodile hissed.

The three animalistic monsters based off of historical dictators vanished over the next ridge. The four heroes stared after them.

"What the fuck," Dogranio intoned, a sentiment shared by his three colleagues.

"Seriously, where do these guys keep COMING from?!" Evolt yelled.

"The heck was that about?" Nico asked finally.

"I have no idea," said the bewildered Nobunaga.

Taiga threw up his hands in exasperation. "You know what, I don't care. This has just been too weird. Let's forget this ever happened and go fight a bad guy that makes more sense."

"Right you are, Taiga!" Jiro declared. "… Right after my nap."

He promptly collapsed.

"Oh shit, I think he really does have a concussion," remarked an alarmed Nico.

Taiga swore and rushed over. "Dammit, Jiro, if you die again I'll kill you myself the next time you respawn!"

"Don't worry, if he dies I can probably get Takeru to bring him back in an Eyecon," Nobunaga promised. "That is, assuming he's done something particularly noteworthy or heroic in his life. He wouldn't happen to be a Nobel laureate or have discovered the cure for a rare disease, has he?"

...

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	51. Boss Rush 12: Brave, et al, vs Shocker

Merry Christmas, to all! Here's your present!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

...

"Well, that was certainly… A thing," Dogranio observed as Taiga desperately started checking Jiro's condition.

"Seriously, where did all those other animal monsters based on historical dictators come from?" Asked the bewildered Z.

"I have no idea," replied Abrella, equally baffled.

"A better question is, do we really want to know?" Dogranio pointed out. They all considered this for a moment and decided, ultimately, they probably didn't.

Evolt laughed. "And here people thought some of the Fullbottle Best Matches were weird. Never did figure out how you're supposed to kill a ninja with a comic…"

"Give him lots of paper cuts?" Abrella suggested. "If the ninja in question has a hemophiliac disorder, they may bleed out if given enough paper cuts. I once hired – – I mean, I once heard of an assassin specializing in paper weapons who sometimes killed targets that way."

"That so?" Dogranio asked, impressed. "I'll have to look into that sometime."

"What if the person you're trying to kill doesn't have a hemophiliac disorder?" Z asked. "Also, what's a hemophiliac disorder?"

"Basically, it's a condition that means your blood doesn't clot," Evolt explained. Z stared at him blankly. "So if you start bleeding, it doesn't stop on its own, and you can be bled dry if you don't get proper care in time?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh."

"There's plenty of drugs and poisons that can thin a target's blood to simulate a hemophiliac disorder," Dogranio informed the Emperor. "I'm assuming that this paper assassin often made sure to slip his victims one of those before killing them?"

Abrella nodded. "That was one of his MOs, yes."

"And would you happen to have been the one who supplied him with those drugs?" Evolt speculated.

"Seeing as how I have never been accused of any involvement in his murders, I shall say nothing that might potentially incriminate myself," Abrella declared haughtily. "After all, I am a legitimate businessman now. I do not wish to jeopardize that."

"Then why do you keep saying things that are more or less confirming that you are, in fact, still a criminal and are offering rather implausible denials of that reality?" Evolt asked.

"Because it amuses me."

"Fair enough."

"So, who's next?" Z asked.

"Assuming none of us feel like checking in on any of the heroes we've already observed before, that leaves us with… Kamen Rider Brave, who is fighting Spider Great Leader, or Kamen Riders Build and Ex-Aid, who are fighting Kuroto Dan," Abrella suggested.

"That's Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme shouted.

"WE DON'T CARE!" The foursome shouted, as did Sento and Emu, just before the former blasted Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme in the chest with his Fullbottle Buster, sending him flying back towards Emu, who slashed him with the Gashacon Keyslasher as he went past, sparks and invectives flying from the villainous Rider.

"Let's save Kuroto Dan for last," Dogranio suggested, ignoring Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's screams of irritation at the continued refusal to call him by his given name. "Since he is the self-proclaimed final boss, it's only fitting."

"Makes sense," Evolt agreed.

"Brave it is, then," Abrella concurred, changing the camera's focus to zoom in on a different portion of the battlefield, where the majority of the remaining Shocker Combatmen were locked in battle against what appeared to be an army of Bugster Viruses wearing Kurokage armor.

In the middle of the clashing armies were Spider Great Leader and Hiiro in his level 1000 form, sparks flying and explosions erupting all over the place as they clashed blades again and again. "I can see you have grown stronger since the last time we encountered one another," Spider Great Leader commented, feinting a strike with his right blade while lashing out at Hiiro's side with his left.

Hiiro saw through the feint, catching the blow on his cape, sparks flying as the blade ricocheted off the surprisingly strong fabric, and retaliated with a powerful slash Spider Great Leader was barely able to counter. "You, on the other hand, have not," he observed dismissively.

"On the contrary… Before, I couldn't do this!" Spider Great Leader retorted, opening his mouth and spitting webbing into Hiiro's face. The Rider grunted in surprise as the webs covered his vision, his guard dropping slightly and allowing Spider Great Leader to knock Hiiro's sword aside and lay into his chest with repeated swipes from his blades.

Suddenly, Hiiro's wings spread, his armor emanating a blinding golden light, causing Spider Great Leader to cry out and stagger back, covering his eyes. As the webbing disintegrated, Hiiro stretched out a hand to the side, his sword flying back into his grasp and immediately launching into a chop that would have cleaved Spider Great Leader in two if the monster hadn't managed to stagger to the side just in time, the blade cutting off his right arm instead. The arm fell, sword clattering onto the ground next to it. "Aggghhh… Curse you, Kamen Rider!"

Hiiro thrust his blade forward, freezing only a millimeter from Spider Great Leader's throat. The monster froze. "You have been disarmed. The disparity between our levels is far too vast for you to stand a chance. Yield, and I will allow you to leave with your life. This is not your battle, and I am not your fated opponent."

Spider Great Leader snarled. "Yield?! To a Kamen Rider?!" He spat more webbing at Hiiro. The Rider was anticipating it this time and shielded his face with a wing, but Spider Great Leader took advantage of the split second Hiiro's vision was blinded and knocked away the Rider's sword with his remaining blade, lunging into a series of ferocious thrusts and slashes. "My father would never forgive me if I were to run from a Rider, even if he weren't Takeshi Hongo! Against your kind, it is only victory or death! There can be no other options!"

Hiiro deflected and parried Spider Great Leader's frenzied attacks, then slipped sideways and dashed past, swinging his blade in a mighty cut as he went past, chopping off Spider Great Leader's other arm. "Then die, as you did before."

Spider Great Leader looked down as his other limb fell to the ground and burst into laughter. "You believe this is enough to stop me?"

"Unless you're about to claim that that was a flesh wound and try kicking me, I rather think it is," Hiiro pointed out.

Spider Great Leader cackled. "Incorrect!" His torso convulsed, and suddenly a second pair of arms erupted from his stumps, more monstrous and covered in spikes and chitin. He tossed off his cloak, and two more sets of appendages grew out of his back, segmented and resembling those of a spider, their tips resembling swords. "There is a reason I am called _Spider_ Great Leader!"

"So I see," Hiiro observed as Spider Great Leader reached down and picked up his discarded swords, his extra appendages twitching and swiping through the air. "Come at me, then."

Spider Great Leader did. Howling, the monster lunged at Hiiro, lashing out with all six blades at once, forcing Hiiro to step up his game to try and block, counter, and parry as many of the blows as he could, even using his wings as prehensile shields and secondary weapons. Even so, more than a few strikes made it through, sparks flying off his golden armor. _His strength and ferocity have increased exponentially,_ Hiiro noted, being forced to put considerable effort into defending himself. _It's more than just a power boost, though. It's almost as if…_

"When you talked about your father never forgiving you… His opinion means a great deal to you, doesn't it?" Hiiro realized, emitting another blinding flash of light.

Unfortunately, Spider Great Leader had anticipated this and covered his own face with webs to protect his eyes from the light, fighting on instinct. "Of course it does! He is more than my own Great Leader, but my progenitor! He and my mother Ambassador Hell-"

 _And isn't that an odd thought_ , Hiiro contemplated.

"Didn't merely create me as a weapon to defeat the Kamen Riders, but as an heir to the throne of Shocker!" Spider Great Leader continued, his six limbs a whirling storm of blades. "And yet, despite my best efforts, I've yet to kill a single Kamen Rider! Despite my pedigree, I am little better than a standard kaijin in that regard! Even if you are not our hated nemesis Hongo, I must still vanquish you to prove my worth to my parents and that they were justified in creating me, that I am indeed fit to inherit my father's title as the premier archenemy of all Kamen Riders!"

"You believe that they will eventually abandon you if you continue to fail?" Hiiro speculated.

"How can they not? They are my parents, but they are still among the greatest evils this world has ever seen!" Spider Great Leader snarled, spitting some webbing at Hiiro. The Rider shielded himself with his wings, and Spider Great Leader immediately went on the assault, pushing Hiiro back. "You know that failure can only be tolerated for so long among our kind! But it is not my death at their hands that I fear, so much as their disappointment that all the resources they poured into making me are for nothing!"

With a roar, he unleashed a blast of dark webs which flung the startled Hiiro away, enveloping his armor. "You Riders are not the only ones who have people they fight for!"

Hiiro grunted as he struggled against his bonds. "So I can see. It is unfortunate for you that your parents do not return those feelings of love."

Spider Great Leader did a double-take. "EXCUSE me?!"

"A parent whose love for their child is conditional on their success or failure can hardly be called a parent at all," Hiiro said scornfully. "While I am often embarrassed by my father, I have never doubted his love for me. I have every confidence that no matter what field I chose to focus my skills in he would've been proud of me, even if I were to turn my back on medicine and become a cashier at some fast food restaurant." He flexed his muscles and wings, and in a flash of golden light he burst free from his webs, rising into the air. "But if you are certain that your parents will only love you if you succeed in defeating a Kamen Rider… Then for you, I have nothing but pity, for you will never truly be able to understand the love of a parent."

Spider Great Leader trembled in rage… More than a little doubt flickering across his face. "I… You… You know… That's not…"

 _"FOOL! You know nothing!"_

Without warning, a great red Shocker insignia formed in the air, and a tremendous blast of crimson lightning shot downwards and struck Hiiro, the Rider crying out in agony as the energy coursed through him, his wings dissolving and his cape bursting into flame as he tumbled from the air, striking the ground hard enough to crack it. He tried to get back to his feet, only for more blasts of lightning to rain down, an anguished scream ripping from his throat with each successive blow.

Gawking in disbelief, Spider Great Leader turned to see a Shocker Combatman standing nearby, arm outstretched… And the eyes on the emblem on his belt glowing red. "F-Father?!"

" _My son_!" The Great Leader of Shocker barked. _"Is what you said true? Do you really think that I shall eventually discard you if you fail to meet my expectations?"_

"I… How could I not, father?" Spider Great Leader lamented. "You are the Great Leader of Shocker, the first and foremost villain in the Kamen Rider rogues gallery! I am but a pale imitation of your glory, forever trapped in your shadow. How could I not fear that one day you would decide I am unworthy of being your heir and do away with me?"

" _IMBECILE_!" The Great Leader roared, livid, causing Spider Great leader to flinch back. _"No, not you, my son, but myself!"_

Spider Great Leader gave his father – – or rather, the belt he was speaking through – – a confused look. "Father?"

" _You think yourself unworthy because you have failed to slay a Kamen Rider? My son, I have been failing at that for decades! Despite my best efforts, despite my pedigree as the number one Kamen Rider villain, I have yet to conquer the world!"_ The Great Leader declared. _"But have my minions abandoned me for my repeated failures? Has your mother? No! They believe in me, and so I keep on trying… Just as they believe in you, and so you must keep on trying!"_

"Father, I… I don't understand," Spider Great leader stammered, bewildered.

 _"Must I spell it out? I love you, my son! As much as a being as myself can love anyone! So too does your mother!"_ Great Leader roared.

" _He's right, sweetums, we love you very much!"_ Ambassador Hell's voice spoke through the belt.

 _"Get off the line, Ambassador Hell!"_ Great Leader snapped.

 _"Sorry honey, I just thought he should know that if he wins, I was planning to bake his favorite meal for dinner_ -" Ambassador Hell began.

"M-Mother! Not in front of the Rider!" Spider Great Leader cried, flustered and embarrassed.

 _"Oh great, now see what you've done? You're embarrassing the boy and ruining my heartfelt speech!"_ An exasperated Great Leader cried.

 _"Oh, sorry. I'll be quiet. I just want to let you know that I love you and am very proud of you, son! Mwah!"_

 _"WILL YOU…ugh, sometimes I wonder why I married that man…"_ Great Leader groaned.

 _"My back rubs?"_ Ambassador Hell suggested.

" _That's part of it_ ," Great Leader conceded. _"Anyway… Where was I? Oh great, I've lost my place…uh, let's see… I think I was going to say… Right, your mother and I love you very much and are proud of you no matter what, it doesn't matter to us whether or not you kill a Kamen Rider so long as you do your best, and there's nothing that could ever change how we feel about you. Well… Except, maybe, I dunno, if you decided to turn good for some reason…"_

 _"Honey!"_

 _"Oh come on, we have to draw the line somewhere!"_ Great Leader protested.

 _"Dear…"_

 _"Oh, fine!"_ Great Leader snapped. _"Even if you decided to turn good for some reason! But we would be very upset about it!"_

"You need not worry about that, father," Spider Great Leader told his parents gratefully. "I have never wanted anything but to make you proud of me and to be a successful villain. Knowing that I already have half of that makes me happier than I ever thought possible. I love you both so much."

 _"We love you too, sweetie!"_ Ambassador Hell said as Great Leader sniffed loudly.

The four observers stared. "… Well, this took a rather surprising turn for the domestic," said a rather befuddled Z.

"When did this turn into a soap opera?!" Dogranio cried. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you. I love my soaps. But still!"

"At least it doesn't seem to be hurting our ratings any," Abrella commented, checking his tablet.

Evolt sniffed. "Why can't Banjo and I have a relationship like that?" He lamented.

"BECAUSE YOU SLEPT WITH AND MURDERED MY PARENTS, ARRANGED FOR THE DEATH OF MY FIANCÉ, ORCHESTRATED A WAR, TRIED TO KILL ME AND EVERYONE I CARE ABOUT NUMEROUS TIMES, POSSESSED ME, POSSESSED SENTO, KILLED GENTOKU, AND TRIED TO EAT THE PLANET!" Ryuga shouted.

"Oh come on, you can't hold that against me forever!" Evolt protested.

 _"WATCH ME!"_

"He really hates you, huh?" Z observed as Evolt huffed and folded his arms across his chest.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Evolt groused. "That was years ago, and besides, it's not like most of those people STAYED dead! What's he still holding a grudge for?"

"So if you were to discover your planet and species were still alive, you'd forgive your brother?" Abrella asked mildly.

Evolt hesitated. "… Oh. Huh. That…hmm. So that's what that feels like…" He muttered to himself, nonplussed.

 _"Now go, my son! Take your next step down the path to greatness and strike down that Kamen Rider!"_ Great Leader declared.

"With pleasure, father!" Spider Great Leader cried, advancing towards Hiiro, extra legs slashing through the air…

When suddenly the Tridoron slammed into Spider Great Leader, sending him flying. "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Ambassador Hell gasped in horror. _"No! My sweet baby child!"_

" _SON_!" Great Leader cried, losing his focus and causing the bombardment of energy to cease.

Hiiro collapsed to the ground, taking several deep breaths. "That… That was rather unpleasant…"

"Who… Who dares?!" Spider Great Leader snarled in rage as he staggered to his feet.

The Tridoron's side door flew open, and Brain leapt out triumphantly. "I dare! Your greatest rival, Brain, the Kamen Rider!"

Spider Great Leader stared at him in bewilderment. "… _Who_?"

"Brain, we keep telling you, that was just a dream!" Said an exasperated Heart as he, Chase, Shinnosuke, and Go all clambered out of the car.

"It was real to me!" Brain whined. "And besides, Medic disappeared several minutes ago! It must've been his doing!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," the confused Spider Great Leader protested.

"Brain, Medic disappeared because she was summoned away by Poppy to try and treat Satsuki's wounds inflicted by Count Dracula," Mr. Belt told Brain wearily.

Brain blinked. "She was?"

"Yes! She called us to tell us as much! Weren't you listening?" Go demanded.

"I… Guess I wasn't," Brain admitted sheepishly. "I was too busy psyching myself up for my fated showdown with my rival, Spider Great Leader." His friends groaned.

"No, seriously, who _are_ you?!" Spider Great Leader demanded.

"Well, I did not see that coming," Abrella remarked.

"Oh yeah, forgot about them," Dogranio recalled. "And that Brain guy's strange fixation on Spider Great Leader. What's up with that, anyway?"

"During the process of being rebuilt after his death, his digital consciousness had a dream in which he was reborn as a Kamen Rider to fight the forces of an evil organization called Mu, whose foremost enforcer was Spider Great Leader," Abrella explained. "Despite all evidence to the contrary, he is still convinced it somehow happened."

"So… Androids can dream?" Z asked, surprised.

"Depends on the android," Evolt told him.

"Thank you for the assist, Tomari," Hiiro thanked Shinnosuke as he came over.

"Actually, we didn't see you there, Mr. Belt really wanted to run over that guy and Brain kept egging him on," Shinnosuke informed him apologetically.

"I think I have a problem," Mr. Belt confessed, rather chastened.

"I still don't see why YOU got to hit him, not me," Brain complained.

"First of all, it's my car," Shinnosuke pointed out. "Second, you don't have a driver's license."

"I'm an extremely advanced synthetic life form! I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I can drive a vehicle!" Brain complained.

"Brain, every time you get behind the wheel, you crash whatever you're driving," Heart pointed out.

"LIES!"

"I don't care if it's one Rider or six, I'll take you all on!" Spider Great Leader bellowed.

"And you will not have to do so alone, my liege!"

Everyone looked up to a nearby ridge to see a white tentacled monster resembling some sort of alien squid, a gold-furred werewolf, and a grotesque fusion of leech and chameleon. "We, the three generals of Shocker, shall assist you!"

"Oh great, these guys…" Go groaned.

"Hold them off, my comrades! I shall defeat Spider Great Leader myself!" Brain declared.

"We could do that," Chase said. "Or we could just use Heavy Acceleration and kill them while they're all vulnerable."

"Should we? That feels a little unsporting," Heart complained.

 _"It won't work!"_ Great Leader crowed. " _My minions are now immune to Heavy Acceleration!"_

"That's oddly convenient," Mr. Belt noted.

"I suppose we'll have to do this the hard way, then," Hiiro suggested.

"Yes!" Heart cried joyfully.

"Ready to break some skulls, partner?" Go asked Chase.

Chase brandished his ax. "Always."

"Let's make this quick," Shinnosuke said, drawing his Handle-Ken. "It's Eiji's birthday party tonight, and I can't miss it."

"Start your engines!" Mr. Belt enthused.

" _KILL THEM ALL_!" Great Leader and Spider Great Leader yelled at the same time, the four Shocker generals charging at the six Riders.

"Behold my mastery of magic, Riders!" Space Ikadevil declared, mystical portals opening in the air which he extended tentacles into, more portals opening around Go and Chase as the tendrils lashed out at them.

The two Riders quickly stood back-to-back, Go blasting at the incoming tentacles with his Zenrin Shooter while Chase cut down any tentacles that came at him with his Shingo Axe. "Wait, magic? I thought you were an alien or something," said the confused Go.

"What, aliens can't use magic?" Space Ikadevil scoffed.

"Well, I mean, I guess they can, it just seems like a weird blending of genres?" Go stammered uncertainly.

"Wow, look at this guy!" Space Ikadevil jeered. "'Weird blending of genres?' Don't be a fucking racist, Rider!"

"I'm not racist!" Go protested.

"I don't know, you despised androids for the longest time," Chase pointed out.

"That's because they were evil!" Go argued.

"I wasn't."

"You were for a while!"

"You still hated me even after I became good again, though."

"That's… Look, I brought you guys back, didn't I?!" Go pointed out, frustrated. "Can we just talk about this later?!"

"That's what you always say," Chase complained. "Just like you keep changing the subject whenever I ask if you befriended officer Kano because he looked like me-"

"No, _you_ look like him! You based your appearance off of him, remember? And seriously, what were you thinking, basing yourself off of someone from the same police department you were trying to take down-"

"OH MY SPACE GOD, SHUT UP ALREADY!" Space Ikadevil screamed, generating more portals and thrusting dozens of tentacles through them, the tendrils reappearing and wrapping themselves around the Riders, binding them tight.

Despite their predicament and the very tight constriction, all Go could say was, "Space God? Really?"

"My name is _Space_ Ikadevil! I was originally a member of _Space_ Shocker!" Space Ikadevil shouted. "I'm kind of required to say stuff like that!"

"Yes, that makes sense," Chase agreed.

"No it doesn't! Don't agree with him!" Go shouted. "Great, looks like it's up to me to save us."

It was difficult due to his restrictions, but Go managed to slip a Signal Bike into his Mach Driver Honoh.

 ***M*SIGNAL BIKE! SIGNAL CHANGE: TURN!*M***

The wheel on his shoulder changed to have a turn sign on it, and Go pressed the Boost Igniter button on his Driver several times before shooting his blaster, firing several energy bullets which arced through the air, slicing through the tentacles holding the two Riders in place before shooting through the portals they originated from and striking Space Ikadevil, sparks flying as he howled in pain.

"Bet you didn't think we'd use your own magic against you, did you?" Go bragged.

"So now we are the ones blending genres?" Chase asked in confusion.

"… Shut up, Chase," Go growled, ejecting his Signal Bike and slotting a new one in.

 ***M*SIGNAL BIKE! SIGNAL CHANGE: STOP!*M***

This symbol on his shoulder tire turned into a stop sign and Go fired his blaster, a giant stop sign materializing and passing over Space Ikadevil, paralyzing him. "What… Is… Happening…" He groaned.

"What, they don't have space stop signs in space?" Go taunted him.

"I find that… Very… Offensive…" Space Ikadevil growled.

"Go, stop being racist," Chase chided him.

"What? But I… I wasn't…" Go spluttered. "Oh, just finish him off, will you?"

"Very well." Chase charged towards the paralyzed Space Ikadevil, raising his ax as he inserted a Signal Bike into it.

 ***C*HISSATSU!*C***

He swung his ax at Space Ikadevil…

 ***C*WAIT!*C***

And stopped in place as the red panel on his ax lit up, the weapon beeping. "What… what are you… Doing?" Space Ikadevil asked, bewildered.

"What, you don't have space traffic crossings in space?" Go jeered.

"Will you stop that?! You're not from space, so you're not allowed to say things like that!" Space Ikadevil snapped.

"Technically, aren't all of us from space?" Chase pondered. "After all, Earth is but one of many planets in the cosmos, and-"

The green panel on his ax lit up.

 ***C*GO FOR IT!*C***

"ACROSS BREAKER!" Chase roared, obeying the ax as he swung it through the air, black and white tracks resembling a crosswalk appearing just before his swing as he cleaved his ax through Space Ikadevil's body. The squid monster wailed in agony and exploded.

"Good job, partner!" Go exclaimed, clasping a hand on Chase's shoulder. "And now that he's gone, we don't have to hear about space so much, that was getting kind of old."

Chase frowned at Go. "Go, I think you need to take space sensitivity training."

Go chuckled. "Very funny, but we're done with that bit."

"Bit?" Chase asked, perplexed. "I'm serious. You need to take space sensitivity training. It's been a requirement for all officers ever since we started letting aliens onto the force."

Go hesitated. "… Oh. Crap."

"Have I insulted any of you guys by accident?" Z asked his friends, suddenly concerned. "I mean, is this space thing a big deal for you?"

"If I still took pride in being a _Space_ Criminal… Which I'm absolutely not… It would, but I'm not, so it doesn't," Abrella told him.

"I'm from another dimension, not space, so no," Dogranio reminded him.

"If I felt like you offended me, I would've killed you a long time ago," Evolt told him.

"… Good to know," Z said weakly. "On that note, would it be racist if I asked if any of you, um, used magic? I mean, not to accuse you of genre blending or anything like that, but, I mean, I guess it would be weird if all magic in the universe was on a single planet or…"

"No, no, there's plenty of magic out there. Some of my people can use it, but I never had the aptitude," Abrella admitted with a shrug.

"We never used magic," Dogranio added. He hesitated. "Unless the Lupin Collection counts? Or our own special abilities? Not sure if that counts as biology or magic. Maybe both."

"I've never used magic either," Evolt said. He considered this for a moment. "I mean, the Pandora Box is a piece of technology so unimaginably advanced that even we don't really understand it, but I'm not sure it's magic. Then again, I'm not sure it's NOT magic, either. Sufficiently advanced technology and all that. In any event, my people aren't particularly fond of magic, after we were nearly wiped out by the space wizards."

"… Space wizards?" Asked the bewildered Dogranio.

Evolt nodded. "Yeah, given that my people were the most feared race in the entire universe, naturally there were a lot of people trying to figure out how to get rid of us. Unfortunately, given how absurdly resilient we are, and the fact that in the rare occasion one of us died a replacement was eventually spawned from the Pandora Box, that was easier said than done. A bunch of space wizards came up with the idea of imprisoning us instead and scattering us to the furthest reaches of the universe. Unfortunately for them, they only got a few of us before we realized what they were up to and destroyed their entire galaxy to make sure nobody figured out how to replicate their methods. It took several eons, but eventually everyone who was encapsulated was returned to us. Understandably, we didn't really want much to do with magic after that whole incident."

"Yeah, I can understand that," Z agreed.

"Wait… You said the Pandora Box creates new Blood whenever one of you is killed?" Abrella asked, puzzled. "But then why-"

"Why did it never replenish our species after my brother destroyed the planet?" Evolt finished, sounding weary. "I have no clue. Maybe it's because he blew up the planet as well. There was some sort of a connection, I think. Or maybe it was just too much death to handle at once. But honestly, I was never a scientist or theologian. While I more or less know how to use the Box, HOW it works or many of its other more advanced functions are way beyond me."

"Maybe if your people still exist in this universe, they can tell you?" Z suggested.

"That's the hope," Evolt agreed. He shrugged. "On the other hand, the mysteries of the Box may never be really answered. I'm pretty sure it existed long before my people did, and for all I know, in the unlikely event I ever bite it for real it'll probably still be here. Maybe it'll create a new species. I wonder if I'll be around to see it…"

Back on the field, Heart and Wolf Man were exchanging blows, the earth shaking from the force of their attacks. Despite this, both of them were laughing. "You're pretty good!" Heart exclaimed, hurling a haymaker at Wolf Man's face. "It's been a while since I've last fought an opponent who can withstand my punches without breaking!"

"I have been constantly upgraded by the scientists of Shocker to do battle against you Riders!" Wolf Man declared, lashing out with his claws in a savage slash that cut deep grooves into Heart's chest armor. "Which is why it vexes me so that that coward Fuhrer Crocodile would rather turn tail and run rather than face the Riders who slew my former master! We could've taken them!"

"Your former master? I thought your boss was Great Leader," Heart pointed out in confusion, knocking Wolf Man back with a roundhouse kick to the jaw.

"He is NOW," Wolf Man clarified, extending his arms and firing his claws like missiles at Heart. "But before I was leader of Shocker's Middle Eastern branch, my loyalty was to the Great Fuhrer himself, Adolf Hitler!"

Heart froze, not even flinching or trying to block a kick to his face that turned his whole head back. "Wait… You were a Nazi?"

"Indeed!" Wolf Man declared proudly. "I served with honor at Auschwitz! I lost my eye there due to a gas leak. I know I probably shouldn't have been down there, but I always loved watching those filthy Jews and Gypsies die in the gas chambers. It's the personal touch, you know?"

Heart clenched his fist. "… Okay, that's it. Playtime is over."

Wolf Man scoffed. "Oh, what does it matter to you? You're an android! Why should you care about what people I used to torture to death?"

He threw a punch at Heart's face…

And the Roidmude caught it in the time it took the Nazi werewolf to blink. Wolf Man started howling in agony as Heart slowly began to crush his hand, the Rider not even moving an inch. "While I planned to conquer humanity back in the day, I had no intention of wiping out a particular ethnicity or people just because they offended my sensibilities!" Heart snarled. "I wasn't exactly fond of humans, but I disliked them in GENERAL! I certainly didn't have any plans to round them up, shove them into camps, and do unspeakable things to them! I just wanted them to acknowledge us as their superiors!"

He exerted more pressure on Wolf Man's hand. "My hand! You're… You're breaking it!" Wolf Man whimpered, desperately clawing at Heart's chest with his other hand.

The Rider didn't seem to notice. "My creator viewed us, his own children, as little more than tools. Things he could abuse and dispose of at his whim. Someone who would treat another person like that… Those are some of the people I hate most in this world," Heart snarled as his whole body started glowing ominously. "Which is bad news for you, wolfie… Because you're about to take a one-way trip to the Dead Zone."

Despite the agony he was in, the confused Wolf Man couldn't help asking, "You're going to send me to that same void they banished Garlic Junior to in Dragon Ball Z?"

Beneath his mask, Heart grinned maliciously. "You _wish_."

Z cringed as horrific ultraviolence ensued. "That's pretty brutal…"

"And I'm loving it!" Evolt cackled.

"The people on this planet really hate Nazis, don't they?" Dogranio remarked, perplexed. "And yet I'm pretty sure that my boys never received this level of sheer vitriol or hatred."

"There's a difference between atrocities committed by an outside power, and those committed by your own people," Abrella pointed out. "The latter hits harder, somehow."

"I'll certainly be hitting those rotten cops and phantom thieves harder once I make my comeback…" Dogranio growled.

Nearby, Hiruchameleon went flying as he suffered a heavy blow from Shinnosuke's blade. "Kyaaaah! Curse you, Rider!"

"You might as well just give up and put an end to this," Mr. Belt advised the monster. "You must know there's only one possible way this can end!"

"Indeed there is… With your demise!" Cackling madly, Hiruchameleon shimmered and disappeared.

"Great, he's disappeared. Mr. Belt, what would you recommend?" Shinnosuke asked his mentor.

"If he has made himself invisible, then we need a way to make him visible to us," Mr. Belt reasoned. "Shinnosuke, use Spin Mixer!"

"I think I see where you're going with this," Shinnosuke realized, inserting a small toy car resembling a cement mixer into the Shift Brace on his left arm and pulling the lever.

 ***D*TIRE CHANGE: SPIN MIXER!*D***

the Tridoron revved its engine, its left front tire detaching and flying into the air, slamming into Shinnosuke and transforming the tire on his body into a gray wheel with several circles on it. The wheel started spinning, the holes opening up and firing globs of cement all over the place. While most of the globs splattered harmlessly on the ground, a few stopped in midair, deforming as they covered part of a humanoid figure.

"Hey! What gives!" Hiruchameleon cried realizing too late he'd just exposed himself. "Uh-oh."

"There he is!" Mr. Belt cried.

Shinnosuke produced a new Shift Car and inserted it in his Shift Brace. "Let's end this together, Mr. Belt!"

 ***D*FIRE ALL ENGINE! DRIVE: TYPE TRIDORON!*D***

A red cylinder of light formed around Shinnosuke and every Shift car in his arsenal converged on him as the Tridoron disassembled itself, its parts shrinking down and forming pieces of armor that slammed down onto him.

"Time for you to reach your finish line!" Shinnosuke declared as he produced the Trailer-Hou and inserted the Tridoron Shift Car into it.

 ***D*TRIDORON-HOU! HISSATSU! FULL THROTTLE: FULL FULL TRIDORON TAIHOU!*D***

"Nope! I'm out of here!" Hiruchameleon cried as Shinnosuke aimed his cannon at him and started charging up, trying to get away…

Only to discover that some of the cement had covered his feet and already hardened, rendering him unable to escape. "Oh, shi-"

Shinnosuke fired. An energy blast shot out of the cannon, enlarging and taking on the form of the Tridoron, which slammed into Hiruchameleon with such force that he was ripped out of the cement, leaving pieces of his feet behind. "THIS IS SUCH A COOL CAR!" He yelled as he flew through the air, exploding on contact with the ground.

"It is, isn't it?" Mr. Belt agreed proudly.

"Hey Shinnosuke, you finish your guy already?" Heart asked as he approached his first human friend.

Shinnosuke nodded as he turned towards him. "Yeah, it's not like it's the first time I've beaten-" He did a double take. "Whoa! Heart, are you all right? You're covered in blood!"

"Hmm?" Heart glanced down at his body, which was indeed covered with so much blood it made his red suit even redder. "Oh, none of this is mine. Well, that goes without saying, since I'm an android and don't actually have blood, but it's all from the other guy."

"What did he do to warrant such treatment?" Asked the horrified Mr. Belt.

"He was a Nazi," Heart said simply.

"Oh, all right then," Shinnosuke decided, immediately accepting this.

"Yes, that makes sense," Mr. Belt agreed.

"Okay, so the Nazis were this horrible group of people who were racist towards everyone else… So… It's okay to be racist towards them in turn?" Dogranio inquired, still miffed that his own Ganglers had never elicited this much hatred.

"I suppose it is hypocritical, from a certain perspective," Abrella conceded.

"Bigotry is what makes the world go round," Evolt remarked cheerfully.

Meanwhile, Hiiro and Brain were battling Spider Great Leader. Both of them had their swords out and were frantically dueling Spider Great leader, who was apparently able to divide his attention enough to delegate half of his limbs towards fighting either one of them. He laughed. "It's no use, Riders! Even if there were six of you fighting me all at once, I'd still be able to take you all on!"

"What if there were seven of us?" Hiiro asked.

"Yeah, you can't grow anymore limbs, can you? Then you'd have more than eight appendages and wouldn't be a spider!" Brain agreed to.

Spider Great Leader hesitated, and a stroke from Hiiro nearly sliced his cheek. "Yes, well… There aren't seven of you, are there?"

"But there COULD be," Brain retorted.

Hiiro nodded in agreement. "And there are far more than that here today. Even if you somehow managed to defeat us, how exactly are you planning to deal with all of them?"

"Just… just shut up!" Spider Great Leader snarled, spitting webbing at them. The two Riders quickly disengaged and rolled to the sides to avoid the attack.

"You are not the only one of us with a projectile attack, my old adversary!" Brain declared, producing a pair of sopping wet handkerchiefs. "Let's see if you've figured out a defense for my 999 Poison Handkerchief Technique!"

He started flinging a seemingly endless supply of wet handkerchiefs at Spider Great Leader. The villain's blades and spider legs sliced and blurred through the air, ripping the handkerchiefs to pieces. "It would seem I just have. And seriously, why do you keep calling me your adversary? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Brain, was there a point to that attack?" Hiiro asked the fuming Roidmude.

Brain smirked, instantly changing his tune. "As a matter of fact, it is! Allow me to demonstrate!" Yelling at the top of his lungs, he swung his blade at Spider Great Leader.

The heir to Shocker laughed. "Fool!" His appendages lashed out…

Only for his swords to shatter on contact with Brain's blade, the weapon slicing through the hardened tips of his spider legs and cutting deep into his chest, causing him to howl in agony and stagger back.

 _"MY SON!"_ Great Leader shouted.

"How… How did you do that?!" Spider Great Leader stammered in disbelief.

Brain laughed. "I can generate over 999 different kinds of poison! And my handkerchiefs just so happened to be dosed in a corrosive substance that weakens metal and chitin! When you tore up my handkerchiefs, you doused your swords and spider legs in that substance, playing right into my hands!"

"I have to admit, he has a bit of a strange power set, but he certainly knows how to make it work," Dogranio commented.

Evolt nodded. "Yeah, as much of a dumbass he clearly is, he does have some moments of brilliance."

Brain leered smugly at the enraged Shocker general. "And without them, you're completely defenseless-"

Spider Great Leader spat webbing into his face. "Ack! My eyes!" He wailed, clawing at the substance covering his mask.

"Yeah, he can do that," Hiiro warned Brain too late.

"Only a minor hindrance!" Brain scoffed, calming himself down. He raised a hand, glowing toxic green. "I shall simply generate an acid to dissolve the webbing so I may see again!"

"Wait, Brain, I don't think that such a good-" Hiiro tried to warn Brain too late as the Roidmude Rider pressed his acidic hand to his face with… Predictable results.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY EYES! THEY BURN!" Brain shrieked as the poison melted away the webs… And part of his face. "WHO COULD POSSIBLY HAVE FORESEEN THIS MIGHT HAPPEN?! WHY AM I NOT IMMUNE TO MY OWN POISONS!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

The four viewers stared blankly as Brain rolled around in the dirt, howling in pain. "I hereby withdraw my previous statement," Evolt said bluntly.

"What an idiot," Dogranio said flatly. "Who thought it would be a bright idea to name him Brain, again?"

"I believe he chose the name himself," Abrella theorized. "Though I suppose it could also be one of those ironic names."

"Like someone big being called "Tiny?"" Z asked.

Abrella nodded. "Precisely."

"Brain, if you can generate that many poisons, surely you can also synthesize an antidote!" Hiiro yelled at Brain as Spider Great Leader pointed and laughed hysterically.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH oh that's a great idea, thank you," Brain realized. His hand started glowing again and he touched it to his face, a green liquid oozing out that caused the melting to cease. His mask was still covered in chemical burns and his visor was partially melted, but he didn't look hideously deformed, only moderately so. "How do I look?" He asked anxiously.

"Only moderately deformed instead of hideously so," Hiiro assured him.

"Thanks… Wait, what do you mean 'moderately?'" Brain demanded.

"As amusing as this was, enough of this!" Spider Great Leader declared. "Now, I shall destroy-"

Hiiro immediately lashed out, his sword swinging through the air once, twice, six times, carving deep scars into Spider Great Leader's chest, sending sparks flying. As Spider Great Leader staggered back, all six of his arms fell off, as did the two horns growing from his eyesockets. "No thank you," Hiiro said calmly, flicking his blade to the side to dislodge drops of blood.

"Yes! For it is WE who shall destroy YOU!" Brain declared, standing back up.

"Don't count us out!" Go cried as he rushed over, followed by Chase, Heart, and Shinnosuke.

"Yeah, save a little for the rest of us!" Heart agreed.

"Heart, are you all right?" Brain asked in alarm. "You're covered in blood!"

"It was the other guy's," Heart said dismissively. "He was a Nazi." Both Brain and Hiiro nodded and murmured in understanding. "But what about you? What happened to your face? It's moderately deformed!"

"It was him! He did it to me!" Brain wailed, pointing an accusing finger at Spider Great Leader. "And what you mean by 'moderately? '"

"You did it to yourself!" Spider Great Leader protested.

"LIES!"

"It doesn't matter whether it was Spider Great Leader or Brain himself who caused this moderate deformity-" Mr. Belt begin.

"Seriously, what does everyone keep meaning when they say 'moderately?!'" Brain demanded.

"What matters is that we defeat this adversary so we can go back to running people over," Mr. Belt continued. He hesitated. "Go back to defeating villains. That's what I meant."

"Should… Someone else be driving the Tridoron for a little while?" Chase asked him concern.

"NO," both Shinnosuke and Mr. Belt said loudly.

"I may be armless, but I'm far from harmless!" Spider Great leader snarled.

Everyone groaned. "That was terrible!" Brain complained.

"What are you going to do, headbutt us?" Go joked.

"I already did that bit," Hiiro told him.

"I'm going to do THIS!" Spider Great Leader bellowed, opening his mouth wide, energy coalescing to form a spinning ball of webbing that grew rapidly in size…

Until Go shot it with an energy bullet, causing the ball to blow up in Spider Great Leader's face, covering him in webbing. "Was that supposed to do something?" The biker taunted.

"Grah! Get off!" Spider Great Leader snarled. "Father, why did you not make me immune to my own webs?!"

" _We never thought this might_ _happen_!" Great Leader protested.

 _"Don't worry sweetie, we'll fix it the next time we resurrect you,"_ Ambassador Hell promised.

"That's not particularly reassuring!" Spider Great Leader snapped.

"Hurry, before he breaks free," Hiiro suggested. "We should finish him off."

Shinnosuke nodded. "Agreed."

All six Riders engaged their Drivers, powering up for their finishing moves.

 **| THE FINISHER! FULL THROTTLE! |**

"KICK MACHER!"

"CHASER END!"

"DEADROP!"

"TRIDROP!"

"BRAIN HEAD CRUSHER!"

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! TADDLE LEGEND CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Go, Chase, Heart, and Shinnosuke launched at Spider Great Leader with Rider Kicks while Brain charged forward with a headbutt and Hiiro lashed out with his sword.

Without warning, two new arms and four new spider legs emerged from Spider Great Leader's shoulders and back, shredding the webbing entrapping his body. His limbs shot out, catching the finishing moves just before they could strike him, holding the six Riders in place, much to their surprise.

 _"Ha! You fell right into his trap!"_ Great Leader proclaimed eagerly.

 _"Do it, son! Kill them!"_ Ambassador Hell enthused.

Spider Great Leader laughed. "With pleasure!" He opened his mouth, charging up another energy ball of webbing. "I told you before, it will take more than six Riders to defeat me!"

"Then what about a seventh? RIDER KICK!"

And that's when Takeshi Hongo slammed into Spider Great Leader's back with his signature move, the impact breaking off the villain's spider legs at their source as well as causing him to lose his grip on Brain's cranium and Hiiro's sword, allowing all six attacks to strike Spider Great Leader, their power combining with Hongo's Rider Kick and engulfing the Shocker heir in a tremendous explosion.

" _NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY SWEET BABYCHILD!"_ Ambassador Hell wailed.

 _"HONGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_ Great Leader bellowed in fury.

"Who is that guy?" Asked the confused Evolt.

"That is Takeshi Hongo, Kamen Rider-1, the first Rider," Abrella told him.

Evolt gave him a skeptical look. "Okay, that can't be right. I've been around for millions of years, and I'm pretty sure there are other Riders who've been around long before this guy."

"That's true," Abrella admitted. "But he's the first _publicly recognized_ Rider. The first Rider of the modern age, to battle in the daylight instead of fighting evil in the shadows. As such, most people just call him the first Rider, because in many ways he kicked off what most people consider to be the age of Kamen Riders."

"Well… I could probably take him," Evolt grunted.

"Don't be so sure of that," Abrella warned him. "He's been fighting evil for at least 50 years, and is still going strong. Even modern Riders, with access to powers far greater than his, have had trouble fighting him. He is not an opponent to be trifled with."

"We'll see," Evolt grunted, looking at Hongo warily.

"Hongo! What are you doing here?" Shinnosuke asked in surprise.

"Whereever Shocker rears its head, I am never far behind!" Hongo proclaimed. "Also, since I helped young Kujo out earlier, it only made sense that I arrived to assist his comrade Kagami as well, much like most of the others present helped the Doctor Riders earlier today and came to lend a hand once more."

"We are honored to have you with us, Hongo," Hiiro said gratefully. "Thank you for coming."

"Well, what sort of senpai would I be if I did not lend a hand to the younger generation?" Hongo asked jovially, clasping a hand on his shoulder. He then focused his attention on the Combatman standing nearby. "I bet you weren't expecting to see me again today, were you, Great Leader?"

" _Hongo_ …" Great Leader snarled. _"Once again, you stick your nose where it doesn't belong…"_ Suddenly, he started laughing. " _And yet, perhaps it is for the better that you are here, because now I can watch you die at the hands of my son!"_

"Your son?" Go asked, puzzled. "But we just killed him."

"No… You did not!"

Surprised, the Riders turned around to see Spider Great Leader, who had clearly not been destroyed in the explosion, staggering to his feet, his armored carapace cracked and scorched. "You're still alive?!" Brain demanded in disbelief.

"Good, more fighting!" Heart exclaimed eagerly.

Spider Great Leader laughed regularly. "I should thank you, Riders… For you have given me an excuse to show off my true form!"

"I thought that was your true form," Hiiro pointed out.

"My _truer_ form!" Spider Great Leader amended. Laughing, he opened his mouth, and everyone tensed…

Only to blink in confusion as Spider Great Leader tilted his head down and spat a ball of webbing at his feet, the projectile bursting and covering him completely in webs. "Was that supposed to happen?" Asked the confused Shinnosuke.

"Maybe he got a concussion and screwed up his aim?" Heart suggested. "We did hit him pretty hard…"

Hiiro shook his head. "No, there's something else going on."

Mr. Belt frowned as the mass of webbing started to wriggle, convulse, and glow ominously. "Wait… Hold on… I think…" He gasped. "I think that's a cocoon! Everyone, attack quickly, before-"

The cocoon exploded, a wave of darkness blasting outwards and flinging the seven Riders away. Great Leader cackled insanely as his metamorphosed son rose up, bits of webbing and parts of his former skin sloughing off of him with each breath he took. _"Behold, Hongo, the instrument of your demise! My son, in his ultimate form… As GIANT Spider Great Leader!"_

Ambassador Hell sniffed. _"They grow up so fast!"_

Giant Spider Great Leader was a spider the size of a house covered in armored plates bristling with spines with huge jaws filled with teeth the size of Hiiro's sword, a grotesque face resembling the twisted visage of Shocker Leader III inside its mouth. Its eight eyes were arranged to form the Shocker insignia, and the now-gargantuan torso of Spider Great Leader grew out from the top of the head, a colossal sword in each hand and massive eagle wings spreading from his back. A massive cobra head rose up from the rear of the abdomen, hissing and snapping at the air. Giant Spider Great Leader opened his mouth and roared, the sun darkening slightly and the earth shaking as an aura of dread and pure evil emanated from his form.

Z whistled. "That is one big, ugly spider."

"I've seen bigger and uglier," Evolt said dismissively. "I once ate a whole planet made of spiders. Literally. As in, it was spiders all the way down. It was horrible. I only ate it because my idiot brother tricked me into doing it. What an asshole."

"It's a good thing none of us has arachnophobia," Abrella remarked.

"Dogranio, why are you hiding behind the couch?" Z asked the Gangler leader.

"No reason in particular," Dogranio replied shrilly.

"Okay, so… Am I the only one who's wondering why there's a cobra coming out of his butt?" Asked the dumbfounded Go.

" _That was me,"_ Ambassador Hell clarified. " _He's got my genetics too, after all."_

"And why does he have wings?" Hiiro wondered.

 _"Because the only way to make a spider more horrifying is if it were a_ flying _spider,"_ Great Leader explained.

The Riders considered this. "Yeah, that checks out," Mr. Belt agreed after a moment.

"Okay, he looks pretty bad, but I'm pretty sure we've faced bigger and worse," Shinnosuke pointed out.

"I certainly have," Hongo agreed.

Great Leader cackled. " _Oh, but my son is just getting started!"_

With an inhuman snarl, Giant Spider Great Leader lifted his abdomen and expelled a number of eggs, each the size of a person, much to the disgust of the Riders.

"Ewwwwwwwww," Go complained, making a face.

"Wait, I thought he was a man, how can he reproduce?" Wondered the confused Hiiro.

"Really? That's the part that you're having trouble with?" Asked the incredulous Brain.

"I'm a doctor, so yes," Hiiro shot back.

 _"How da Spider-Man re you! Ambassador Hell and I had no problem conceiving our son, and neither of us is a woman!"_ Great Leader pointed out scornfully.

" _To be fair, we did sort of clone him_ ," Ambassador Hell reminded him.

 _"That's besides the point!"_

The eggs started shaking as cracks appeared on their surface. One by one, they split open and grotesque monsters clawed their way into the sunlight. Strangely familiar monsters, at that…

"Wait…" Hongo murmured, surprised. "That's… Spider Man, Space Spider Man…"

"What are you talking about? None of them look anything like Spider-Man," said the confused Heart.

"Yes there are, there are two of them right there," Chase replied. "Actual Spider Man and Space Spider Man."

"No, none of them are Spider-Man!" Heart protested.

"Yes they are. They're right there. Spider Man and Space Spider Man," Chase insisted.

 _"No they aren't, none of them look like-"_

"Heart, they're talking about the Spider Man and Space Spider Man _monsters_ , not the superhero," Mr. Belt explained.

"Ohhhh," Heart murmured in understanding.

"That's sort of confusing, and I'm pretty sure it infringes copyright or something," Go complained.

"And there's also Spider Napoleon, Zu-Gumun-Ba, Tsuchigumo, Arachne, Dispider… I think that's every spider monster that's ever been fought by a Kamen Rider!" Exclaimed Hiiro, who'd been ignoring the idiocy going on behind him.

Great Leader cackled. " _We injected our son with the DNA of every spider kaijin ever battled by a Kamen Rider, so that he would be able to generate an army of them in his ultimate form!"_

 _"An army of adorable spider children to dominate the world! Oh, I'm so proud! I never thought I'd ever get the chance to be a grandmother!"_ Ambassador Hell gushed.

"Every non-Roidmude spider monster, you mean," pointed out a miffed Brain. "I'm offended by the lack of inclusion of our brethren!"

"To be fair, that would mean I'd have to be over there, too," Heart pointed out. "Plus, do you really want to fight any of our friends?"

"No, but I'm still deeply offended!" Brain declared haughtily.

"Hey Dogranio, the big spider monster is gone!" Evolt shouted over the back of the couch.

"Really? Oh good – – I mean, that's a pity, I would've liked to watch it kill those Riders-" Dogranio began as he peeked his head over the couch… Only to freeze when he saw Giant Spider Great Leader was not only not dead, but had given birth. "Evolt," he said slowly. "The spider monster is not dead."

"Nope," Evolt agreed.

"It has, in fact, reproduced."

"That's right."

"I hate you." Dogranio slowly pulled his head back. A moment later, they could hear hyperventilated sobs from the other side of the couch.

"That was really mean," Z complained.

"Kid, have you not been paying attention to anything I've done so far?" Evolt sneered.

"This many spider monsters… It might be a problem, even for us," Chase admitted.

"We can take them," Hiiro said confidently. "We have the blessings of Lord Baron. Well, I do, I'm not sure about the rest of you."

Shinnosuke awkwardly raised a hand. "I'm actually a worshiper of the OverLord."

"Your God is dead, heathen, so I think you're on your own," Hiiro said bluntly. Shinnosuke sighed.

"Wait, you're not a Gaimist?" Go asked in surprised. "Bro, you've MET Gaim. You've teamed up with him on multiple occasions!"

"Look, I was worshiping the OverLord long before Kazuraba ascended, if I just jumped ship and abandoned my deity for some new guy on the block I couldn't exactly call myself a man of faith, now could I?" Shinnosuke argued.

"I don't think now is the time for theological debate," Heart pointed out. "Although incidentally, I worship the Heavenly Saints."

"… But you're an android," pointed out the confused Hiiro.

"So? That means I can't believe in magic?" Heart argued. "Don't be racist, man."

"Yeah, just because we are machines doesn't mean we have to necessarily believe in a machine God, even though we acknowledge there are several," Brain agreed.

"I follow the way of Ultimate Daizyuzin," Chase said seriously. He shrugged when everyone looked at him. "I like dinosaurs."

"STOP ARGUING ABOUT YOUR FALSE GODS AND FACE ME!" Giant Spider Great Leader bellowed.

"First of all, our gods aren't false!" Shinnosuke yelled angrily.

"And second: be careful what you wish for!" Mr. Belt added.

"That may not be necessary," Hongo interjected as everyone prepared to fight. "On my way over, I ran into an old friend I haven't seen in decades, and he agreed to come help."

"Another Rider?" Hiiro asked.

Hongo shook his head. "No."

"A Metal Hero, then?" Shinnosuke asked.

"No."

"… A magical girl?" Go asked hesitantly.

"Not that either."

"Well who's left, then?" Brain asked in frustration.

"You might call him… An emissary from hell," Hongo said cryptically.

"Why would Ambassador Hell help us kill his own son?" Asked the baffled Go.

 _"That's right, why would I?"_ Ambassador Hell demanded.

"No, not… I said an _emissary_ , not an ambassador," Hongo corrected, getting annoyed.

"Ambassador Hell has a younger brother?" Heart asked in surprise. "I didn't know that!"

"No, Ambassador Hell's brother is Ambassador Darkness," Hiiro corrected him.

"Really? So, what, is Ambassador a family name or something?" Heart wondered.

"So, does that mean Emissary Hell is his nephew or cousin?" Chase speculated.

 _"No! There is nobody in my family with that name!"_ Ambassador Hell shouted.

"Why would you be friends with someone called Emissary Hell, anyway?" Shinnosuke asked. "He sounds like a villain."

"That's because it's not his name! It's just something he calls himself! The emissary of hell!" Hongo shouted, losing his patience. "Do NONE of you have any idea who I'm talking about?!"

All six Riders shook their heads. So did Giant Spider Great Leader, his children, the Shocker Combatman serving as his master's mouthpiece, and, presumably, Great Leader and Ambassador Hell, wherever they were.

Hongo groaned in exasperation. "Well fine, it was supposed to be a surprise, but since none of you have the slightest idea what I'm talking about, it's-"

"SWORD VIGOR!"

A giant sword lanced through the air and pierced the ground, skewering Giant Spider Great Leader and splattering his spider Army. Giant Spider Great Leader, whose body had been almost ripped in half by the giant blade, convulsed, vomited up copious amounts of blood and other fluids, and expired.

"Him," Hongo finished, nodding at a giant black and gray robot standing nearby, red and gold panels with spiderweb patterns on them adorning its body.

"Oh God, that was disgusting!" Go cried, horrified. All of the Riders except for Hongo and Hiiro had been splattered in spider viscera.

"I feel like I need to throw up, and I don't even have a stomach anymore!" Mr. Belt moaned.

"How come you two got off easy?" Brain demanded of Hongo and Hiiro, envious.

"I'm the first Rider," Hongo explained, as if that solved everything.

"And I have the blessings of my God," Hiiro added. "Still convinced of the power of your deities?" The other Riders grumbled in irritation.

 _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY SON!"_ Great Leader cried in horror.

 _"My grandchildren! They were just babies! You monsters!"_ Ambassador Hell shrieked in outrage.

"I thought you said your friend wasn't Sentai," said the confused Hiiro.

"He isn't. They don't exactly have a monopoly on giant robots, you know," Hongo pointed out.

A figure jumped out of the head of the giant robot, descending towards them. "I am the emissary of hell!" He declared dramatically as he landed before them. "I am the Iron Cross Killer! I am-"

"SPIDER-MAN?!" The Riders cried in disbelief.

And indeed, it did appear as if Spider-Man (the superhero, not the monster) had just arrived. He looked EXACTLY like he did in the comic books, wearing a red and blue costume with a spiderweb pattern, blank white eyes, and a small black spider on his chest and a big red one on his back. The only difference was that he had a bulky device on his left wrist.

"Spider-Man is real?!" Shinnosuke cried, incredulous.

"Spider-Man has a giant robot?!" Demanded Brain, dumbfounded.

"Spider-Man is Japanese?" Wondered the puzzled Chase.

" _What? What?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"_ Great Leader shrieked.

"Yes to all three, but I'm not the Spider-Man you're thinking of," Spider-Man explained.

"… Oh, of course," Hiiro realized. "You're Japanese Spider-Man."

"There's a Japanese Spider-Man?" Go demanded.

"Certainly. You don't read the newsletter?" Hongo asked.

"I think the answer to that should be obvious," Hiiro pointed out. Go grimaced.

"Hey Dogranio, all the spiders are gone, for real this time," Z told Dogranio. "Well, except for Spider-Man. The superhero, not the monster."

Dogranio poked his head up from behind the couch. "Wait, what? Spider-Man is real? I thought he was a comic book character."

"So did I," said the confused Evolt. "Does Marvel know about this?"

"They do," Abrella informed him. "It's a bit of a complex issue."

"I can see most of you have no idea who I am," the impossible hero observed. "Very well. Let's start from the beginning, one last time. My name is Takuya Yamashiro. I was infused with alien DNA by a visitor from a distant world and for the last 40-odd years I've been the one and only Spider-Man. I've vanquished the Iron Cross Army, fought evils both here and in space, and managed, with SIGNIFICANT difficulty, to settle a number of long-standing lawsuits leveled against me by Marvel comics. I've saved the world, fallen in love, saved the world again, and again, and again… It's been a long and difficult journey, but after everything, I still love being spider-Man. I mean, who wouldn't? So no matter how many hits I take, I always find a way to keep coming back, because there's only one Spider-Man in this world, and you're looking at him."

"… Did you rip that off from Into the Spider-verse?" Mr. Belt asked skeptically.

"No," Takuya lied.

 _"I don't care who you are!"_ Great Leader shouted. " _You killed my son! For that, you will suffer a horrible-"_

Takuya thrust his left arm out, clenching his middle and ring fingers while extending his thumb, index, and pinky fingers, and a string of webbing shot out from the device on his wrist, splattering against the belt on the Combatman's chest, gumming up the workings and causing the archvillain's voice to sputter and die out. The hapless goon yelped in dismay and frantically tried to pull out the webbing to hear his master's voice again.

"Okay, I like you. We can be friends," Heart decided.

"I take it this means you will join us in our battle?" Hiiro asked Takuya.

The Spider-Man nodded. "I will. Not that I'm sure there's much of a battle left. From Leopardon, it looked as if your colleagues have already mopped up most of the remaining foes and are converging on a battle between three Riders."

"That must be Emu and Sento fighting Kuroto Dan," Hiiro realized.

"That's Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme yelled off in the distance.

"NOBODY CARES!" Everyone shouted in reply.

"With all of us together, Kuroto-" Hiiro began.

"It's-"

"CAN'T POSSIBLY WIN," Hiiro shouted before Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme could finish his sentence.

"I would warn you against being overconfident, but… Between all of us, I have a hard time imagining him winning," Hongo admitted.

Takuya extended a hand. "Hongo vouched for all of you. It would be an honor to fight alongside heroes of your caliber."

"The feeling is mutual," Hiiro assured the Spider-Man, shaking his hand. "All right. Let's go put an end to this, once and for all-"

Abruptly, a swirling multicolored vortex tore open and spat out over half a dozen figures. Brain groaned. "Oh, what NOW?!"

Takuya did a double-take when he saw the new arrivals. "You're… Like me?"

This did indeed seem to be the case, as everyone who just come from the portal looked like a Spider-Person! Two resembled the classic Spider-Man, only one looked overweight, out of shape, and somehow had the air of a down-on-his-luck hobo around him. One wore an outfit resembling the classic suit, but was almost completely black with red webs, and also looked to be a teenager. Another, about the same age, was a girl in a white and black suit with a hoodie and pink accents. A much taller, mature figure was so black-and-white he appeared to actually be monochrome, complete with a fedora and trenchcoat billowing in the breeze that seemed to only exist for him. There was also a large red and blue robot with a face resembling an emoticon over a cockpit with a little girl inside, a man in an edgy outfit with a tattered web cape and jagged red lines covering his blue suit, and an honest to Gaim anthropomorphic pig wearing a variant of the classic outfit.

In addition, all of them looked as if they were somehow animated characters that had somehow stepped out of the television and into reality, each drawn in a different style, clashing against each other and against the much realer world around them, creating a rather unnerving Uncanny Valley effect.

As the two groups stared at each other, the Riders dumbfounded and speechless, the Spider-Man in the edgy outfit checked the device on his wrist and spoke up. "Spider-Man of Earth – 51778, we need your help to avert a crisis of infinite proportions threatening every Spider in the multiverse as the Goblin… Emperor…"

He trailed off, finally seeming to notice everything around him. The multiple Kamen Riders, the Bugster Virus soldiers mopping up the last of the Shocker Combatmen, the Combatman still trying to clean out his belt, the grotesque corpse of Giant Spider Great Leader with a huge sword sticking out of it, and the giant robot standing on a nearby ridge. Explosions rocked in the distance as the other heroes continued making their way towards the battle between Emu, Sento, and Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. "Uh…"

"Is. Um. Is this a bad time?" The black-suited teenager asked awkwardly, voice cracking slightly.

"I mean, it looks like you're sort of in the middle of a crisis crossover here, so if you don't have time to participate in ours, we totally understand," the white-suited girl promised.

The hobo -like Spider-Man groaned. "See, kids, this is why it's important for major crisis crossovers to happen at different times. If they all start happening at once, it just gets confusing for everyone."

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" The other classic-suited Spider-Man asked the monochrome one.

"In this cruel, violent, unfeeling world of ours, can anyone honestly say they have any idea what's going on?" The monochrome Spider-Man said dramatically as his trenchcoat flapped in the breeze. "We all think we know who we are, how everything will turn out, what our place in the world is… But in the end, all of our preconceptions evaporate when faced with the cold, harsh light of reality, fading like a dream upon waking from a fitful, restless lumber."

The other Spider-Man blinked. "… Well, great, now I'm even more confused."

The anime girl piloting the robot gasped, eyes sparkling. "It's just like home! But much browner and uglier!"

The pig did an aside glance. "I know what you're thinking, folks, but trust me: we haven't even APPROACHED maximum weirdness yet!"

"Who is that pig talking to and why does he sound like John Mulaney?" Asked a confused Brain. Nobody answered him.

…

 **STAGE CLEAR!**

 **CONTINUE?**


	52. Final Boss Stage Intermission 2

Happy new year!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Meanwhile, in 2068…

 **[01] "PROGRISE! GIANT WAKING! BREAKING MAMMOTH! LARGER THAN LIFE TO CRUSH LIKE A MACHINE." [01]**

Momotaros scowled as Aruto Hiden jumped into a giant robot vaguely resembling a mammoth and started laying waste to over a dozen Time Mazines. "How come the new guy gets a robot and we don't?"

"We have a tricked-out flying train that can travel through time," Urataros pointed out, knocking away a Kasshine that had been charging towards Momotaros from behind with his rod.

"Yeah, but it's not a robot!" Momotaros whined.

"Didn't you get to combine the DenLiner with the ToQger mecha once?" Ryotaro recalled, cutting down an adversary with the DenKamen Sword.

"He did, I remember that," Hikari, ToQ #4, replied.

"Yeah, but then I got shoved all the way down to the feet when a certain Red Ranger popped up, claimed I was doing it wrong, and knocked me out of my spot as the head!" Momotaros snarled angrily, thrusting his sword into a charging robot without even looking. "I mean, seriously, Kiryu, it's bad enough you were constantly stealing the spotlight during your own series, did you have to force your way into a crossover when it wasn't even your year anymore?!"

Daigo Kiryu, Kyoryu Red, punched a robot's head off before glancing at Momotaros in confusion. "What? What are you talking about? I never stole anyone's spotlight."

"Oh, give me a break!" Momotaros snapped. "You're a Red Ranger! You can't help it! You guys ALWAYS get the most focus and power ups! But even for Reds, you were ridiculous!"

"That's not true!" Daigo protested. "It was always a team effort! Right guys?" There was a silence. "Guys?"

He glanced his friends, who were looking away awkwardly. "Well… He… Sort of has a point…" Nobuharu, Kyoryu Blue, admitted uncomfortably.

"You did have a bit of a tendency to hog the spotlight," Souji, Kyoryu Green, confessed. "Like… All the time. Honestly, I'm a little surprised I was the one who got Torin's sword, I was half-expecting you to wind up with it instead even though you don't even USE swords."

"I mean, really, Daigo, the final battle basically consisted of us literally serving as your backup singers while you took on Deboss all by yourself," Ian, Kyoryu Black said with a hint of bitterness.

Daigo was shocked. "Really? You guys all felt like this?" The other Kyoryugers muttered in agreement, unable to meet his eyes. "… Why didn't you TELL me you felt like this?"

"Well, at the time, we just sort of, you know, figured this was how things always went," Amy, Kyoryu Pink, informed him uncomfortably. "You ARE the Red, you know, meaning you usually get the lion's share of everything. Then we started talking with some of the other teams, and learned that even for Reds you got an inordinate amount of focus, and… Well…"

"By that point, it was kind of too late, since our adventure was basically over and it was too late to change anything," Utsusemimaru, Kyoryu Gold continued.

Daigo was crestfallen. "Guys, I honestly had no idea you felt like this," he told his friends. "You should've said something sooner. We could've worked something out."

"It's kind of a bit late for that now, isn't it?" Ian said resignedly. "Our adventures are over. Now we're only getting involved in crossovers and team ups. We aren't going to be really relevant ever again."

"And it's probably going to be just the same with our grandkids," Souji grumbled.

"You see? Even your own team is fed up with your scene-stealing!" Momotaros jeered as Daigo sagged, clearly upset.

"But Momotaros, didn't YOU more or less become the face of Den-O, to the point where Ryotaro was more or less forgotten and the rest of us were lucky to even get cameos in future team ups?" Ryutaros pointed out.

Momotaros froze. "That's… That's completely different!"

"How so?" Ryotaro asked. There was no judgment in his question, merely idle curiosity. He hadn't begrudged Momotaros for becoming the face of their team, the red Imagin had always enjoyed fighting more than he had.

"Well, uh… Hey, how come you Sentai aren't in your mecha?" Momotaros asked, quickly changing the subject. "I mean, there's still a bunch of giant robots causing trouble. Shouldn't you be helping with that?"

"Your train crashed into ours and now they're both frantically trying to make repairs in the middle of the battle," Right, ToQ #1, reminded him.

Some distance away, Akira, ToQ #6, was alternating between making repairs to the Ressha and flailing his light guide-based weapon at wave after wave of enemy combatants. "This will NOT be the place where I die!"

"And we figured that our Zyudenchi could cover more ground if they were allowed to run wild on their own," Utsusemimaru added.

Not too far away, Gabutyra roared into the sky as he stood atop a heap of burning Time Mazines, the other biomechanical dinosaurs rampaging around him.

"That's certainly a convenient explanation-" Takeru Tenkuji began before a Dai Mazine abruptly stepped on and killed him.

Everyone gasped. "They killed Takeru! Those bastards!" Momotaros cried.

"Relax, he'll be fine in no time," Sieg said dismissively. "This happens constantly, remember?"

"Will the new guy?" Futaros asked as the Dai Mazine lashed out with one of its massive limbs, knocking the Breaking Mammoth mecha away. Before the much smaller robot could get up, the Dai Mazine was on it, pinning it to the ground with one of its legs and opening its metal jaws, powering up a lethal energy beam…

 **[01!] HYPER JUMP! OVER RISE! PROGRISE! [01!]**

" **WARNING, WARNING: THIS IS NOT A TEST."**

 **[01!] HYBRID RISE! SHINING ASSAULT HOPPER! [01!]**

" **NO CHANCE OF SURVIVING THIS SHOT."**

The cockpit of the mammoth robot exploded as Aruto, clad in his incredible Shining Assault Hopper armor, blasted out, rising towards the Dai Mazine's head. The giant robot shrieked and swung a claw at him…

Only for the Rider to vanish, and suddenly several dozen holographic projections appeared around the Dai Mazine, Aruto flickering between each one several times a second. The robot's head rolled around frantically, trying to target the Rider…

When suddenly half a dozen blue crystalline attack drones formed right in front of his face and fired laser beams into its optics, ripping its face apart in a tremendous explosion. As the gargantuan machine reared back, howling in metallic agony, Aruto suddenly re-materialized behind the robot and shot towards it in a brilliant Rider Kick, lines of lights trailing from his form.

 **[01!] ASSAULT CHARGE! SHINING STORM IMPACT! [01!]**

 **[01!] SHINING STORM IMPACT! [01!]**

With a blinding flash, Aruto smashed into the Dai Mazine's back and blasted out through its chest, shattering the robot's torso and leaving a gaping hole in his wake as he continued rising through the air. Behind him, the Dai Mazine uttered a final wail of anguish before collapsing to the ground, exploding spectacularly.

As Aruto landed, a bunch of other Time Mazines and Kasshine closed in on him. His attack drones regrouped around him and flared, spinning around him and firing laser beams that sliced through the army of robots, obliterating them in a series of explosions. As the flames burned around him, he dramatically proclaimed, "You can't win. There's only one person who can surpass me… And that's me!"

The other heroes nearby stared in awe. "… Okay, the new guy's got some skills," the impressed Yuto conceded.

"Show-off," Momotaros grumbled.

Elsewhere, Daiki Kaito wailed as he was flung backwards, an explosion consuming his form and causing his armor to vanish, striking the ground and rolling some distance across it, twisting his limbs at extremely unpleasant angles. Coughing up blood, he tried to push himself up on his elbows, reaching a hand out for his Neo Diendriver, which had landed nearby…

Only for an armored heel to slam down on it, smashing it to pieces. "No. No more. This ends now, Daiki," Natsumi told the thief Rider coldly. "Your days of stealing, deceiving, and manipulating are no more. You are barely even fit to be my court jester. You are now exactly where you belong… On the ground, kissing the feet of one who is superior to you in every way."

"This… This shouldn't be possible," Daiki stammered, coughing up more blood. "You shouldn't… Be this strong… My new power over time… Had no effect?!"

"Even time bows before the will of the True Queen," Natsumi said haughtily.

"The true-" Daiki started laughing, only to start coughing and spat up more blood. "Are you still on that?! Don't you get it?! Your reputation, your legend, it's all based on a lie! You're nothing more than a fake hero I created as a prank who let her fame go to her head!"

"And yet I am the one still standing tall, while you are at my feet," Natsumi pointed out coldly. "I shall deal with the ramifications of your deceit in my own time. It does not change the fact that, even if I was a false Savior before, my power now is the real deal. I strongly urge you to submit now lest I mete out more punishment upon your wretched body. I am sure I could find a place for you in my court. It's about time I got a new jester."

Daiki snarled. "Submit? To you? Never! A good thief always has a trick up his sleeve… And this one's a doozy!"

He flicked his wrist, producing an Anotherwatch.

" **DIEND!"**

He slammed the watch into his chest, crying out in agony as bands of darkness wrapped around his body. Natsumi took a step back in surprise as Daiki rose to his feet, the darkness parting to reveal that he had transformed into a monstrous Another Rider. Most of his body resembled Susan's Another Rider form, but blue, with massive curved horns jutting from his barcoded shoulder and others growing from the sides of his head, which was a mass of protrusions also resembling a barcode growing over a grotesque grimace.

"I am Another Diend, the Thief of Time!" Daiki roared. "I will steal everything… Everywhere…everyWHEN! Every treasure in existence… Will be MINE!"

"So at last your outward appearance resembles your twisted heart," Natsumi said in disgust. "It would appear I must get serious as well, then. Come, Tatsu-la!"

A tiny silvery Dragon shot down from the skies and flew across her chest, striking her wing-like shoulder armor and causing great silvery wings to open up, silvery energy bats flying out from them as the Dragon landed on her left forearm, transforming into a large, ornate bracelet. "HENSHIN!"

The bats swarmed her, clustering around her leg, arm, and chest armor, transforming them into ornate silver pieces resembling that of Kiva's Emperor form. Kiva-la's eyes flashed, and more bats flew into her head, giving her mask a more ornate appearance. She thrust her left arm to his side, and in a flash of silver fire a blue cape flowed down her back. "You should consider yourself honored, Daiki. Few have lasted long enough against me to witness my Empress form!"

"Should I be impressed? It's basically a recolor of Kiva!" Daiki scoffed.

"You mean like you're basically a recolor of me?" Tsukasa asked as he marched over in his Strongest Complete Form.

"Kadoya! I thought you were fighting Susan!" Daiki cried, startled.

"I was," the Destroyer of Worlds said casually. "He's not going to be a problem anymore."

Nearby, Susan grit his teeth in rage as the TimeRangers slapped time cuffs on him. "Curse you, Decade!"

"That's my line," complained a man in a coat and floppy hat.

Natsumi hesitated, then "Tsukasa. I… Don't believe I have taken the opportunity to apologize."

Tsukasa tilted his head in puzzlement. "Hmm?"

"For years, you've been trying to tell me that our battle did not go the way I thought it did. I thought you simply jealous of my strength, and allowed your name to be discredited as I continued to win more and more accolades based on a lie," Natsumi told him regretfully. "I should have trusted you more. Because of my hubris, our friendship was destroyed. I… Am sorry, Tsukasa."

"… It's not totally your fault," Tsukasa admitted finally. "I could've tried harder to not sound like some jealous guy in denial. And to be honest, maybe a part of me IS envious. You've grown so much, Natsumi. Become far more than I ever imagined. If we fought for real now, I'm honestly not sure which of us would win. Even if it all started because of a lie… I think I'm genuinely proud of who you've become. You've done well for yourself, Natsumi. More than a Destroyer like myself ever could."

"All that I've become, I owe to you," Natsumi insisted. "Not simply because my defeat of you, real or imagined, launched my career as a Rider. If you'd never walked into my life, my eyes would never have been opened to the greater wonders of the other worlds, to the infinite splendors of the multiverse. If I have truly become great, it's only because you gave me a path to follow."

Under his mask, Tsukasa smiled. "Funny. I'm not sure I remember the last time someone actually THANKED me for something instead of blaming me."

"To be fair, it usually IS your fault," Natsumi half-joked.

"It is not," Tsukasa replied with a good-natured laugh.

"Tsukasa… After we are done here, I shall make sure everyone knows the truth about what really happened all those years ago," Natsumi promised, serious again. "If that means I must give up my throne, step down, resigned from being a Rider… So be it. I will not allow myself to keep what is not earned."

"You've more than earned your title and reputation," Tsukasa said seriously. "But if you really want to make it up to me… How about we have a rematch? A REAL battle this time. Both of us going all out against the other, no holding back. So we can see once and for all which of us is stronger."

Natsumi smiled under her mask. "I would like that."

"And I would like for the two of you to stop talking and fight me already!" Daiki yelled in frustration.

"Guy's got a point," Tsukasa admitted reluctantly.

"Shall we vanquish him, then? To make him pay for his deceit?" Natsumi asked Tsukasa.

The Destroyer of Worlds nodded. "I'd like nothing more."

"Mind if I cut in?" Asked what appeared to be Kuuga in his Rising Ultimate form.

"Onodera!" Natsumi cried in delight. "You finally found your Arcle!"

"Actually, I'm Yusuke Godai," Kuuga informed her. "The one who started out in 2015, not the original."

"I'm right here," said Yusuke Onodera, standing nearby, completely defenseless.

"Oh… Well… That's nice," Tsukasa said awkwardly.

Daiki laughed. "Got your hopes up for a minute there, didn't you? Too bad he's never going to be Kuuga again… Especially not since I'M the one who stole his belt in the first place!"

Onodera gasped. "That was YOU?! I thought I lost it! For YEARS!"

"In retrospect, we probably should've suspected Daiki sooner," Natsumi admitted.

"This is the end for you, Daiki," Tsukasa growled. "We're going to make you pay for everything… All the times you've stolen from us, tricked us, deceived us, betrayed us… And we're totally not going to forgive you for it like we have every other time!"

"We aren't?" Onodera asked in surprise.

"No, Onodera, we aren't," Natsumi said in exasperation.

Daiki laughed as dark energy crackled around his hands. "I think it's high time I stole your greatest treasures… Your LIVES! Come and get me, Kadoya! Hikari!"

"I'm here too," Godai reminded him.

"WHATEVER!" Daigo snapped. "Let's do this!"

As the dimension-travelers began their final showdown, Geiz was sent flying with a cry of agony, his armor vanishing just before he hit the ground. He struggled to get back to his feet, only for Geiz Immortal to drive a foot into his chest, pinning him down and causing him to gasp and spit out blood. "It's over," his older self said sternly. "You've lost. I don't particularly enjoy hurting myself, so I suggest you just give it up already before you take any further unnecessary damage."

"Can't… Can't give up," Geiz whispered, grabbing his older self's leg. "Not… Not until I save… Tsukuyomi…"

"For the last time, it's ALPINA!" Alpina snapped. She shook her head in exasperation. "You STILL don't understand that she was never real?"

"I don't… Believe that…" Geiz said through gritted teeth. "I CAN'T… Believe that…"

Alpina sighed, rolling her eyes beneath her mask. "Ugh, whatever. This is getting old. Geiz, just knock him out, inject him with nanomachines, and get it over with already. I want him to become my fiancé already."

"As you wish, my princess," Geiz Immortal replied, pointing a Zikan Jaclaw into his younger self's face. "Don't worry. This won't hurt much."

Geiz squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the end…

"TIME ERUPTION!"

Without warning, a green energy cube formed next to the startled Geiz Immortal. Woz, in his base form, green energy swirling around him, slammed into Geiz Immortal with a corkscrew kick, launching him into the cube, which transformed into a timer, counted down to zero, and exploded.

"Geiz?!" Alpina cried in horror as her fiancé was engulfed in flames, screaming in agony.

"My Savior, are you all right?" Woz asked in concern, extending a hand to Geiz.

"I've… Been better…" Geiz said weakly as he took the proffered hand, grunting as he was pulled to his feet. "What are you doing here? I thought you were staying out of the fight."

"I am!"

Startled, Geiz looked over his shoulder to see that Woz and his future self were still sitting some distance away, idly watching the continuing battle between Sougo and Oma Zi-O. "What? But then… I don't understand…"

"Do you not remember me, my Savior?" Asked the new Woz, sounding disappointed. "It is I, White Woz!"

Geiz did a double-take. "White Woz? But I thought you were erased from existence!"

"I was re-created thanks to Susan abusing the power of Another Decade," White Woz informed him. "Giving me a second chance to help you achieve your full potential. Here, take this, the watch that will grant you your ultimate power!"

He handed Geiz a massive, bulky, and incredibly ungainly Ridewatch with a transformed version of Geiz's face on it surrounded by numerous rings of red disks with the faces of secondary Riders on them. "What… What is this?" Geiz wondered, astonished.

"The instrument that will allow you to become the Savior this world needs!" White Woz proclaimed. "Use it, and fulfill your destiny!"

"… This thing isn't going to kill me, is it?" Geiz asked warily, remembering how the last watch White Woz had given him was intended to give him the power to defeat Sougo at the cost of his life.

"No," White Woz promised.

"Will it give me the power to save Tsukuyomi?" Geiz asked hopefully.

"Still don't need saving!" Alpina yelled.

White Woz shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe?"

"Then that's good enough for me!" Geiz decided, activating the new watch as well as his usual one.

 **(V) GEIZ! GEIZ MAJESTY! (V)**

He plugged both watches into his belt. Numerous Ridewatches flew towards him as a huge red and gold clock rose behind him, along with statues of numerous secondary Riders.

 **(V) ADVENT! COMPLETE! TURN UP! CHANGE STAG BEETLE! ALTAIR FORM! FIST ON! KAMENRIDE! ACCEL! METEOR, READY? SET, OPEN! L – I – O – N, LION! EYES OPEN! LEVEL UP! CROSS-Z DRAGON! (V)**

"HENSHIN!"

The statues flew into the air and converged on his body, turning into Ridewatches as they slammed on, one after another, a new suit materializing on him resembling Sougo's GrandZi-O form but in red with a golden cape and Ridewatches instead of little Rider statuettes.

 **(V) "MAJESTY TIME! G3! KNIGHT! KAIXA! GARREN! IBUKI! GATTACK! ZERONOS! IXA! DIEND! ACCEL! BIRTH! METEOR! BEAST! BARON! MACH! SPECTER! BRAVE! CROSS-Z! KAMEN RIDER! GEIZ MAJESTY!" (V)**

"Oh... take my pride. REJOICE! The one to save those suffering from the darkness. He is the savior who brings light back to the future! His name is Kamen Rider GeizMajesty! Truly a moment of nativity!" White Woz proclaimed enthusiastically as an astonished Geiz examined his new form. "My Savior, you have inherited the power of all secondary Heisei Riders! Power second only to that of the demon king!"

"Wait, only second?" Geiz asked, disappointed.

White Woz shrugged. "Well, to be fair, it's the power of the secondary Riders, so…"

"Well, at least it's not the tertiary ones," Geiz conceded. "But with this new strength, I'm sure I'll be powerful enough to save… Tsukuyomi…"

He trailed off, staring in disbelief at Geiz Immortal, who had emerged from the flames… Wearing an outfit almost exactly the same as his, only black was the predominant color scheme. "… Woz, why does he look like me?"

"Because he IS you, you idiot!" Alpina shouted. "In the future! Which means that whenever you get a power up, he benefits from it as well! DUH!"

Geiz shot White Woz a furious look. The Time traveler laughed in embarrassment. "Perhaps I did not think this through properly…"

"You think?!"

Alpina snorted. "Geez, you guys are such idiots! The only reason your resistance lasted as long as it did was because we allowed it to!" She shook her head and draped herself over Geiz Immortal. "It's a good thing you're so good-looking, otherwise I would never have given you the time of day."

"Should I be flattered or insulted?" Geiz Immortal asked in amusement.

Alpina kissed him on the cheek. "Whichever you prefer."

"Woz, what do we do now?" Geiz hissed.

"It seems we shall have to fight them," White Woz said apologetically. "Do not worry, my Savior. With the two of us working together, we surely stand a chance of winning!"

"No you don't!" Alpina shouted.

"Ignore the harlot!" White Woz hissed.

"Excuse me?!" Alpina demanded the same time as both Geizes snapped, "She's not a harlot!"

"No, she isn't… She is a QUEEN!"

Everyone turned their heads to see that ANOTHER Woz was walking towards them. "Oh for fuck's sake, another one?" Geiz groaned.

"This is starting to get out of hand," Black Woz complained.

"Should we do something about it?" Woz Beyond wondered.

They glanced at each other for a moment, then burst into laughter. "Nah."

Alpina sighed in exasperation. "And which Woz are you supposed to be?"

"I am Red Woz!" The new Woz proclaimed.

"But you have white armor," the confused Geiz Immortal pointed out.

"That's just what my Rider outfit looks like, I'm wearing red underneath," Red Woz explained. "I come from another future, where Alpina is the benevolent ruler of all of time and space!"

"Really? Awesome!" Alpina squealed.

"I said benevolent ruler," Red Woz repeated.

"I can be benevolent!" Alpina insisted. "Right, honey?"

Geiz Immortal shifted awkwardly. "Well…"

She glared at him angrily. "This is the part where you back me up if you want to get married."

"Yes, of course you can be benevolent," Geiz Immortal said quickly.

"He's right, you can be… AFTER the evil programming inside your nanomachines has been deactivated, allowing you to utilize your full powers for good instead of evil!" Red Woz agreed.

Alpina snorted. "Oh yeah? And how do you expect to do that?"

"Like so." Red Woz thrust his hand out, and an energy wave rippled out and washed over Alpina. She gasped and fell to her knees.

"TSUKUYOMI/ALPINA!" Both Geizes shouted, rushing to her side.

"What have you done?!" Geiz demanded, livid.

"Nothing harmful," Red Woz insisted. "Now she can awaken to her true destiny as Queen of time!"

"The hell are you talking about?!" Geiz demanded, only for Tsukuyomi to groan. "Tsukuyomi!"

"Her name is Alpina!" Geiz Immortal insisted.

"You could ask me what name I prefer to be called by, if you like," Alpina grunted.

"TSUKUYOMI/ALPINA!" Both Geizes shouted in relief.

"Gah! Not so loud!" She snapped. "My head is killing me… Geez. Red Woz, did you have to hit me that hard?"

Red Woz bowed at the waist. "A thousand apologies, my Queen, but it was the only way to disable the evil programming while allowing your powers to remain intact."

"Wait, so you aren't evil anymore?" Geiz asked hopefully.

"No… No, I don't think I am," Alpina said slowly. She winced. "Oh geez…Geiz, I'm so sorry for all the things I said before. And all the pain I inflicted on you…"

"It's okay. It wasn't you," Geiz instantly forgave her.

"Yes it was," Geiz Immortal insisted.

"He's right, it was," Alpina agreed, much to Geiz's dismay. "Geiz… I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but that girl… Alpina… She IS me. The cruel, spoiled, bratty granddaughter of the demon king and heir to his throne."

"Tsukuyomi…" Geiz whispered, dismayed.

Alpina turned to Geiz Immortal. "But… So was Tsukuyomi. She may have been a false personality, but for a significant period of my life, I WAS her, and she is me. She's what I would've been, I think, if I'd never had that evil programming in my nanomachines. And it is who I am now."

"Then… Then what does that mean for us?" Geiz Immortal asked, looking lost.

Alpina gently touched his cheek. "Nothing. And everything. I love you, Geiz. I always have." She turned to the younger Geiz and touched his cheek with her other hand. "Both of you. That hasn't changed. But…"

"But?" Both of them asked anxiously.

"I can't go back to the way I was before. Either before," she told them softly. "I am Alpina, heir to the throne of the demon king and future Queen of time. But…I am also Tsukuyomi, the rebel who gambled everything on a chance to change the future for the better."

She rose to her feet, both Geizes staring up at her longingly. "It is my destiny to rule. This world is my birthright. That has not changed. But…the sort of person I am has. I shall not follow in my grandfather's footsteps and become a demon Queen. I shall become queen, but one who will create a new future for all of mankind."

She glanced down at the two men. "And there will be a place for you in it by my side. BOTH of you."

"Tsukuyomi…" Geiz whispered, voice choked with tears.

"Alpina, I…" Geiz Immortal hesitated, then looked away. "I… I assume you will go help Sougo fight his future self."

"That is my intention, yes," Alpina agreed.

Geiz Immortal shook his head slowly. "I cannot join you. I am sworn to serve my overlord, my… Brother. But… I will not stand in your way, either." He glanced up at her. "Go help him, your younger grandfather. Change the future. Create a new world for all of us."

Alpina crouched down to hug him. "I will. I promise."

"Tsukuyomi… Alpina… I mean… What should I call you now?" Geiz asked her, struggling to process all of this.

She hugged him. "Whatever you like, my love."

"Tsukuyomi…" Trembling, he hugged her back, shaking as he sobbed in joy and relief.

"Just as it should be," Red Woz said proudly.

White Woz looked at the two lovers, then glanced at his alternate self in confusion. "So… Does this mean that the rest of us Wozes are going to fade away, or…?"

Red Woz shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea. The timeline is so screwed up at this point who can say?"

" **KING TIME BREAK!"**

" **OMA ZI-O FINISHING STRIKE!"**

Sougo and Oma Zi-O launched at each other in Rider Kicks, Sougo accompanied by all 19 primary Heisei Riders with the symbol of the 20th Rider behind them while a series of gold characters for "Kick" circled the demon king's foot, his clock hands streaking behind him like wings. The two Riders collided, the clash of energy so intense that, for a moment, it seemed as if all of reality shattered…

And then, an instant later, was re-created exactly the same, except that Sougo was flung away, slamming into the ground hard enough to form a crater shaped like Oma Zi-O's face, the other Riders vanishing back to their own times. Oma Zi-O landed gracefully at the rim of the crater, looking down into it and shaking his head in disappointment as the younger Sougo staggered to his feet, gasping for breath as his armor dissipated, revealing his beaten and bloodied form, his clothes in tatters. "I am disappointed in you, my younger self. Is that really the best you can do?"

"I don't… I don't understand…" Sougo wheezed, falling to his knees. He dug his fingers into the ground, trembling with fatigue and frustration. "Why… I'm giving it… Everything I have. Why isn't it… Why isn't it enough?"

Oma Zi-O casually strolled into the crater, looming over Sougo. "That's because you AREN'T giving it everything you have, my younger self."

Sougo looked up in confusion, finding himself dwarfed by his future self's shadow. "I don't… What? I don't understand…"

Oma Zi-O sighed and crouched down to look the younger man in the eye. "You are still holding back. You have grown strong, yes. Immensely so. But… There is a small piece of you that fears just how strong you REALLY are, how strong you can become. And so long as you fear yourself, fear your true potential, you will never be able to defeat me."

Sougo started trembling. "I'm afraid because… Because if I use that power… I'll become you."

Oma Zi-O sighed and shook his head in disappointment. "Which is why you continue to fail. Because if you are unable to accept yourself, ALL parts of you, how can you ever surpass your limits?" He slowly reached out a hand, glowing with power. "Allow me to elucidate you… And remove the last of the bonds holding you back."

Terrified, Sougo fell over backwards, scrabbling frantically against the ground to get away. Oma Zi-O, unhurried, came forward, his hand growing closer and closer…

"SOUGO TOKIWA!"

Oma Zi-O hesitated, glancing up. "Eh?"

Sougo blinked, his relief at this surprising reprieve tempered by his recognition of that voice. "That voice… Is that…"

Outside the crater, a time portal appeared, disgorging two figures. One looked like yet ANOTHER Woz, but his form was… Monstrous. His silvery suit looked like bones, his mask twisted to resemble a grinning skull with big glowing LED eyes and his watch antennas turned into horns, his shoulder armor spiked and displaying screaming faces, a large clock with hands made of twisted ligaments embedded in his chest, monstrous clawed gauntlets and grieves covering his hands and legs, and the words ANOTHER WOZ written on his left hip while 2068 was printed on his right. "Rejoice!" He wheezed in a tortured, guttural voice. "For the coming of my master… The one to inherit all Another Rider power, the king of time who will DESTROY the past and the future! His name… Is Another Oma Zi-O!"

"Sougo… Tokiwa!" Roared the figure standing next to Another Woz. He resembled Oma Zi-O, but his suit was white and gray in coloration, with fur coming out of his shoulder armor and ringing his neck, his face resembling a more ornate, black and gold Another Zi-O's. "I have come… Once more… To take from you everything you cherish!"

Sougo gawked in disbelief. "No, it can't be! Is that…"

"Hiryu Kakogawa?!" Oma Zi-O finished, astounded.

"But that cannot be! I thought the time police reclaimed all the Anotherwatches!" Black Woz protested.

"Well, they missed the one for Another Decade, who knows what else they might have missed?" Alpina pointed out, horrified.

"I am the one who brought it to him," Another Woz explained proudly. "I come from a timeline where my master has destroyed all of time and space and eradicated every last trace of Sougo Tokiwa, his friends, and his family from existence. At the behest of my master, I traveled back in time to give his younger self the power to become the ultimate demon king and bring his vision to fruition!"

"Wait, if he destroyed all of time and space, how can there even be a timeline for you to travel back from-" started the confused Geiz.

"It's time travel, my Savior, don't think too much about it," White Woz advised.

Geiz Immortal nodded in agreement. "I've been doing it for decades, and I still don't understand a thing about it."

"Sougo Tokiwa! You took EVERYTHING from me!" Hiryu snarled.

"But that was Schwartz! I mean, Susan! Not me!" Sougo protested.

"Technically, he never would've done it in the first place if it weren't part of the complicated time loop I set into motion to cause my own ascension," Oma Zi-O pointed out.

"Not helping!" Sougo hissed. "… Wait, does that mean you killed mom and dad?!"

"No, of course not!" Oma Zi-O cried, shocked. "I pulled them from the bus the instant before they could die and deposited them in a safe place elsewhere in the timeline. I'll tell you when they are later."

Sougo suddenly. "Oh, thank goodness. Wait, does that mean everyone else on the bus-"

"No, they're all dead," Oma Zi-O informed him, dashing his hopes.

Sougo gave him an exasperated look. "And it never occurred to you that saving them might have prevented THIS from happening?" He asked, gesturing at Hiryu and his horrifying ultimate form.

"Come on, we both know it's not REALLY about his parents," Oma Zi-O argued. "Even if I were to bring them back right now – – which, to be fair, is well within my power – – he'd still try to do whatever he's planning to do because he just hates us that much." Sougo reluctantly had to admit he had a point.

"And so, just like you took everything from me on that day…" Hiryu continued, turning his gaze upon all four Wozes, both Geizes, and Alpina. "So to shall I kill everyone you care about in one fell swoop!"

"Everyone he cares about? You forgot about his wife, his uncle, his son, and his grandson!" Geiz Immortal pointed out.

Another Woz gestured and suddenly a beautiful woman in a royal gown vaguely resembling a sailor outfit, a well-dressed Junichiro Tokiwa, Barlcxks, and Susan appeared. "You were saying?"

Everyone glared hatefully at Geiz Immortal. "… Right. Should've kept my mouth shut."

"Wait, you're still alive?" A surprised Geiz asked Junichiro.

"Well, of course! You don't think I'd let my uncle die, do you?" Oma Zi-O replied, offended.

"I'm the royal clocksmith. I no longer have to fix ANYTHING that isn't a clock! It's wonderful!" Junichiro gushed happily.

"And who are you?" Geiz, still confused, asked the woman dressed sort of like a sailor.

"I'm his wife," the woman explained, nodding at Oma Zi-O. "Hi honey!"

Sougo gasped happily. "You're the sailor girl!"

"Told you I married her," Oma Zi-O reminded him.

"Yes! I escaped the time police yet again!" Susan laughed… Until he realized what was going on. "… Crap. I probably would've been better off staying with them, wouldn't I?"

"That may very well be the case, son," said the worried Barlcxks.

"And so, just like you took everything from me on that day…" Hiryu began again. "So to shall I kill everyone you care about in one fell swoop!" He paused, then glanced at Another Woz. "I'm not missing anyone, am I?"

"No, this is everyone," Another Woz told him.

"Yeah, everyone except-" Geiz Immortal began, only for everyone to dog pile him.

"Then perish, so that Sougo Tokiwa may experience the same pain I have lived with all these years!" Hiryu bellowed, pointing his hand at everyone, gathering power.

"NO!" Sougo and Oma Zi-O shouted at the same time, extending their hands.

There was the sound of a clock ticking, and suddenly everything froze in place…

With an absolutely tremendous energy beam stopped inches away from both of their loved ones.

Sougo gasped, his legs buckling underneath him, sweat rolling down his face. "Oh Gaim… He's so STRONG…"

"Yes," Oma Zi-O grunted, his body actually trembling slightly. "It's taking everything I have… Just to hold everything in place…"

"What… What do we do?" Sougo hissed through clenched teeth, head pounding.

"We have to… Turn back time…" Oma Zi-O replied. "To before he fired that blast…"

"I'm… I'm TRYING!" Sougo cried, seeing stars. "But he's actively resisting… So much anger… He really hates us… That much?!"

"Sougo…" Oma Zi-O began. "I can't do this. Not alone. I need your help."

"What do you think I'm doing?!" Sougo snapped, starting to tear up. "I'm doing everything I can… But it's not enough. It's NEVER enough. No matter how hard I train, no matter what I do, it's not good enough! I can't stop you, I can't stop him I can't… I can't save them…"

"There is one way to win," Oma Zi-O said softly.

Sougo glanced at him, startled. "What?"

"I told you before. Stop holding back," Oma Zi-O reminded him.

Sougo blinked a few times… And then his eyes widened, and he shook his head in denial. "No. I can't… I can't do that."

"You must."

"I CAN'T!"

"Then everyone we care about will die," Oma Zi-O said plainly.

Sougo froze, this simple statement cutting him to the core. "… I…"

"Sougo. I admire your principles. But…" Oma Zi-O glanced at his younger self. "Will they be any comfort to you… When they are gone, and you are all that remains?"

Sougo stared at his future self, shocked… And then he began trembling in rage. "You… You set this up, didn't you?"

Oma Zi-O tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"You're an older me. You remember everything that went down. Meaning… Meaning you MUST have lived through this before," Sougo began to rant. "Which means you knew this was coming… And you ALLOWED it to happen, all to force me into a position where I'd have to either become you, or let them all die!"

Oma Zi-O sighed. "Do you truly think so little of me, my younger self?"

"Considering everything you've done, how you've twisted time into a pretzel and used your own family members as pawns, it's hard for me not to!" Sougo snapped.

"Think what you will about me, my younger self… But I truly love them. ALL of them," Oma Zi-O said firmly. "And maybe you're right. Maybe I did allow all this to happen to force you into a sadistic choice. But, even if that's the case… Does that really change anything? Because, in the end, a choice must still be made. A choice… As to whether they live, or they die." He shrugged. "And sure, you could choose to stick to your principles. Let them all perish just to spite me. But we both know that's not what you are going to do, is it, Sougo?"

Sougo shook, teeth clenched, glaring at his future self with absolute hatred…

And then he collapsed on himself, bowing his head in submission. "All right," he said quietly. "I'll do it. You win."

Oma Zi-O nodded. "I know," he replied. He did not sound particularly happy about it.

Sougo Tokiwa closed his eyes.

The demon king Oma Zi-O opened them.

Sougo slowly stood up, electricity crackling over his Driver as it transformed into the sinisterly ornate golden Oma Zi-O Driver. He crossed his arms and slowly brought them to his side, screaming as the ground behind him split open to form a massive molten clock with the katakana for Rider emblazoned on it, that same symbol appearing on every nanomachine in his body as they came online, horrendous power flooding every cell of his being. The hands on the clock ticked down, splitting the earth and sending cracks throughout the landscape with every motion, spurts and rivers of lava erupting all over the place.

"HENSHIN!"

 **(V) "THE BLESSING TIME! THE GREATEST, THE KINDEST, THE HIGHEST, THE STRONGEST KING! OMA ZI-O!" (V)**

Metal rings like watch bands revolved around his body, unimaginable energy pouring into them as the magma shrank and condensed into the two halves of the Rider katakana which flew into the air as the bands burst, revealing that Sougo was now wearing armor identical to that of his future self. The flaming symbols placed themselves over his eyes, and everything around him darkened before his body flashed as a tremendous blast of energy burst off of him, shattering the land around him.

His future self, completely unaffected, nodded in approval. " _Finally_."

The younger Oma Zi-O screamed…

... _kcab_ denrut emit dnA

Hiryu stumbled backwards, startled. "Eh?"

"That power…" Another Woz whispered, alarmed. "What… What was that?"

Junichiro blinked in confusion. "Did… Did something just happen?"

"I… I think we almost died," whispered the horrified Alpina.

"Then… Why aren't we dead?" Red Woz wondered.

"Because of me."

They turned their heads to see Oma Zi-O emerge from the crater… Or rather, BOTH of them.

Alpina gasped. "No… Sougo!"

"Zi-O… What have you done?!" Geiz demanded, horrified.

Sougo glanced away, unable to look his friends in the eyes. "What I had to. To ensure you survived."

"Oh, nephew…" Junichiro whispered sadly, shaking his head in solemn understanding.

"My overlord..." Black Woz whispered, stunned.

Sougo clenched his fists. "Woz, rejoice."

Black Woz blinked. "Huh?"

"I order you to rejoice!" Sougo snapped, voice thick with emotion.

Under his mask, Black Woz's eyes widened in surprise… And then narrowed in understanding. Clearing his throat, he declared, "Rejoice! The Ultimate Time King who reaches over space and time, and reigns over the past and future. His name is Oma Zi-O! We are now reaching the last page of history itself!"

"TWO of them?!" Hiryu shouted, outraged. He whirled on Another Woz. "You never told me there would be two of them!"

"Is this truly a bad thing, my master?" Another Woz pointed out. "Now you get to kill him twice."

Hiryu considered this, then burst into laughter. "Ha! A good point! And after that, I will travel back in time a day and kill you again… Then the day before, and kill you again… And again, and again, and again, until the day you were born! I will not stop until you have been erased from the face of time itself!"

"The only thing that should be erased here is your hatred," Oma Zi-O informed Hiryu. He looked at the others. "Come! Everyone! It will take all of us, past and future, to win this battle! Everyone except for my uncle and my beloved wife, that is. Junichiro, please get her to safety."

"Of course! Right this way, dear," Junichiro said, gently leading the sailor girl away.

"Give them hell, sweetie!" The demon king's bride yelled cheerfully to her husband as she left the scene.

"Sure thing, darling!" Oma Zi-O called back.

"Looks like the two of us will be working together," Geiz Immortal told his younger self. "Try not to make me look bad."

"I… Tsukuyomi? Sougo? What… What am I supposed to do?" Geiz asked hesitantly, head spinning.

"Whatever you want," Sougo said quietly, still unwilling to look him in the eye. "I have no right to call you my friend or my subject. Not after… Not after turning my back on everything I stood for everything and becoming I promised I wouldn't."

Geiz looked at Alpina, who gave him a pleading look."… Well, I guess I'll fight then," he said finally, much to her relief. "And… And we'll settle all of this later, okay?"

Sougo nodded quietly. "Okay."

"My, what a disgusting creature," White Woz sneered, turning up his nose at the appearance of Another Woz.

"You're one to talk, you look like a teenage girl from a Disney Channel original movie," Black Woz jeered.

"YOU SHUT YOUR FACE!"

"Enough, both of you!" Woz Beyond snapped. "Let us be civil and work together to defeat this dreadfully-dressed imposter! After that, we can figure out, once and for all, which of us will be the one and only Woz."

"Spoiler alert: it will be me," Red Woz said confidently.

"So… We're going to be fighting with the good guys now?" Wondered a confused Susan as his father broke his time cuffs.

"I like to think of it as more of a big, complicated, extended family outing," Barlkcxs suggested. "That work for you?"

Susan shrugged and produced another Another Decade Anotherwatch. "I suppose so."

" **DECADE!"**

"So, this is how it is to be? The entire Tokiwa clan, arrayed against me? Past and future, good and evil, allied together?" Hiryu mused. He laughed. "So be it! Let the end of your dynasty, and the rise of mine, BEGIN!"

And so, as the other Riders and Sentai continued fighting the mechanical hordes, unaware of what was truly transpiring, the ultimate battle for time began, one which would not be resolved in 2068…

But rather, several decades earlier, where another battle for the fate of the world was being decided…

…

 **SEE YOU NEXT TIME!**


	53. Final Boss Stage Phase 2A

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

"You going to be okay, Dogranio? There still a lot of spiders about," Evolt joked as Dogranio sat back on the couch.

"Very funny," Dogranio growled. "I'm not scared of spider-themed superheroes. Unless they've got actual spider body parts, anyway." He hesitated. "They don't, do they?"

"According to the comics, at least one version of that girl spider is actually wearing a living costume made of hundreds of tiny spiders," Z suggested. "Does that count?"

Dogranio shuddered. "Really hope that this one isn't like that…"

"So, am I the only one who finds it weirder that this world already has a Spider-Man than that over half a dozen new ones just popped in out of nowhere?" Evolt asked.

"No, I think it's weird too," Z told him. "Abrella, this is more or less my first time, so… Are big team up crossover events usually this freaky?"

"No, this is stranger than usual," Abrella replied. "We have fewer participants now than certain previous crossovers, but those never had the likes of Dracula, Starfish Hitler, or Spider-Men from another dimension."

"Multiple other dimensions," Dogranio corrected him. "They're all from different worlds."

"How can you tell?" Evolt asked, intrigued.

"Just like you've got a sense for distortions in space and time, I can get a vibe for beings who travel through different dimensions," Dogranio explained. "We aren't called the _Interdimensional_ Crime Group Gangler for nothing, after all."

"Also, I think the fact that all of them look kind of different would be a bit of a big hint that they aren't from the same place," Z pointed out.

"That too," Dogranio agreed.

"Fascinating!" Abrella exclaimed, intrigued. "And given how familiar they seem to be with each other and how they seem less alarmed by being in another reality then in the circumstances currently going on, that would seem to indicate they are no strangers to interdimensional travel. Ergo, they must have some form of convenient interdimensional travel! If I could get my hands on that kind of technology, I could expand my business to countless other realities!"

"And just think of how many other worlds I could eat! I wouldn't even need to bother making a new Pandora panel, I could just plug whatever gizmo they're using into my Driver and I'd be good to go!" Evolt agreed, excited.

"Psh, we Gangler don't need to bother with gadgets like that," Dogranio snorted dismissively. "All of us can travel across dimensions under our own power! It's practically second nature to us!"

"Is that so?" Abrella asked, fascinated. "That must be incredibly convenient for you."

Dogranio nodded. "Like I said before, we're called the _Interdimensional_ Crime Group Gangler for a reason. Wouldn't have been able to plunder nearly as many worlds as we have without that ability!"

Evolt sighed longingly. "Too bad we can't be Ganglers."

"Who says you can't?" Dogranio asked, much to their surprise. "You think all of the Ganglers come from the same world? We recruited more than a few from places we've conquered who showed particular promise. All you gotta do is have some bones and a safe grafted onto your body and you're good to go."

"It's that simple?" Abrella asked incredulously.

"Yep. Well… The grafting has to be done in a special way," Dogranio admitted. "Fortunately, our doctor Goche ru Medou is an expert on the procedure."

"But… She died," Abrella pointed out, confused. "I should know, I ran into her on the other side."

"Really?" Dogranio asked, delighted. "How's she doing?"

"Not particularly pleased you left her to die," Abrella informed him.

"Eh, that's fair," Dogranio conceded. "But no, that shouldn't be a problem. She made a few clones of herself in case of emergencies. All I need to do is thaw one out and we're back in business."

"Really!" Abrella cried in excitement. "Then, perhaps I could-"

"But wait, Abrella, aren't you a legitimate businessmen now?" Z pointed out. "Which means you can't get a safe and become a Gangler without becoming a criminal again, and then the cops will try to arrest and/or kill you."

"Kid's got a point, Abrella," Dogranio admitted. "Only crooks are allowed in my organization. And everyone knows you've gone straight, you keep telling us that."

"…Ah. Yes. So I have…" Abrella murmured, lost in thought. Surely there had to be someplace he could hide a safe on his body that wouldn't make it obvious to the authorities that he was in cahoots with the Ganglers, wasn't there?

"That's not a problem for me," Evolt said enthusiastically. "Can I get a safe?"

"Yes, but that would mean swearing fealty to me and acknowledging me as your boss," Dogranio informed him.

"Oh," Evolt muttered, shoulders slumping. "Right. Of course."

"I'm guessing that's a no?" Z asked.

"Evolt doesn't take orders from anyone," Evolt said firmly.

"If it helps, more than a few of my subordinates, like Zamigo Delma, went off and did their own thing without feeling the need to report to me on what they were up to," Dogranio explained. "So long as they weren't planning to overthrow me and occasionally checked in, I was fine with it."

"… I'll need to think about it," Evolt said finally.

"What about me? Can I have a safe?" Z asked hopefully.

"Why would you want one? I thought you weren't evil anymore," Dogranio pointed out, perplexed.

"Oh, right, I forgot," Z realized. Dogranio rolled his eyes.

Deciding to table for the time being the issue of how he could become a Gangler while still pretending to be straight, Abrella said, "All that aside, I do believe it is time for us to bear witness to the final battle. Everyone appears to be converging at the point where Kuroto-"

"THAT'S-"

"WE DON'T CARE!" Abrella snapped abruptly before continuing. "Where a _certain individual_ is battling Emu Hojo and Sento Kiryu. This is what we've all been waiting for, friends and dear viewers. Will the Kamen Riders and Super Sentai and other totally unexpected visitors prevail over this obnoxious self-proclaimed genius, or will the world fall before this madman who believes himself greater than a God?"

"Oh yeah, they're totally going to beat him."

"No question."

"Wait, that was ever in doubt?"

Abrella pouted. "You could at least PRETEND he has a chance, for the sake of dramatic tension. But yes, his defeat is almost a certainty. The real question is how badly will he be beaten, and how entertaining will it be?"

"My vote is extremely, on both counts," Evolt said giddily. "I've been looking forward to this."

"Then let us observe the battle, which is already in progress!" Abrella declared, gesturing to the camera.

Z nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Wait…"

"What is it, kid?" Dogranio asked.

"Do… Do you guys feel like you're forgetting something? Something important?" Z asked with a frown.

"Like what?" Evolt asked.

"If I knew, I wouldn't have forgotten it," Z complained.

"Well, if you can't remember what it is, neither can the rest of us," Dogranio pointed out reasonably.

"Is it me?" Asked Pumpkin Rapper, suddenly reminding everyone he was there.

"Oh hey, I forgot you were there," Evolt admitted in surprise.

"You've been very quiet, far more than I ever expected a rapper to be," Abrella confessed.

"Quiet? Who do you think's been the one providing the soundtrack for all these fights?" Pumpkin Rapper complained.

"I thought it was Abrella," Z confessed. "Another feature of his high-tech camera thing."

"So did I," Abrella added, checking his camera. "Except… No, I must've forgotten to turn it on. How very silly of me. How fortunate that you were here then, Pumpkin Rapper, otherwise the last several minutes of fighting wouldn't have had appropriate background music."

"I better be getting paid big time for this," Pumpkin Rapper groused. "I haven't exactly been using a lot of horror or Halloween-themed songs, which, as I pointed out before, are sort of my brand."

"We'll make sure you are adequately repaid for your services," Abrella assured him.

"Does that settle things, Z?" Dogranio asked.

"I… Guess it does," Z muttered doubtfully. He was still sure there was something important he was forgetting, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what it was. _I just hope it's not too important_ , he thought anxiously _. I don't want anything to ruin this. It's the most fun I've had in a long time…_

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme cackled madly as he flew through the air, forming energy balls with question marks in them in the crooks of his question mark-shaped blades before swiping his swords, hurling the orbs at Emu and Sento, who were pursuing him on the latter's Machine Builder motorcycle, Sento steering and trying to avoid the projectiles while Emu blasted at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme with the borrowed FullBottle Buster, only for Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme to either evade the blasts or deflect them with his blades, the stray projectiles exploding all across the landscape. "You'll have to do better than that, fools!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme cried. "I'm FAR too intelligent to be hit by attacks like that!"

"What's that even mean?" The frustrated Emu demanded. "Your IQ shouldn't determine whether or not you can be hit by energy blasts!"

"Actually, with a good enough understanding of physics and mathematics, and a brain capable of performing incredibly complex calculations in milliseconds, its child's play to dodge bullets," Sento corrected Emu. "You just need to determine where the gun is going to fire, and endeavor not to be there when the bullet passes through."

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme laughed. "Correct! I am now so brilliant no attack can hit me! I can predict your every move and formulate a counterattack before you've even committed to action!"

"Then I'll just have to try something unpredictable!" Emu decided, handing Sento back his blaster and jumping off the bike, using his super speed to run alongside it, trailing golden sparkles in his wake. Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme flung more energy balls at him, but Emu evaded them with all the expertise of someone who has mastered every endless runner game imaginable, while Sento provided covering fire. Emu dashed up the side of a nearby cliff and leapt off it, streaking through the air towards Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme as he drew back a fist to punch his glass helmet in…

Only for Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme to laugh and dodge out of the way. "Too predictable!"

"Did you predict THIS?" Emu asked as he shot past, his dreadlocks extending and wrapping around Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's arm.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's wings immediately stiffened, bracing in the air and keeping himself from being yanked out of the sky by Emu. "Actually, I did!" He crowed as he whirled around, slicing through Emu's dreadlocks with the sword in his free hand, cutting him loose and hurling him into a blast from Sento's cannon, the explosion knocking him back towards Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, who slashed through him with his twin blades as he went past.

"EMU!" Sento cried in alarm as his comrade tumbled through the air, wailing in agony before slamming into the ground hard.

"It's… A good thing I'm invincible… Or that would REALLY have hurt…" Emu grunted as he staggered to his feet.

"Why don't we see just how far your invincibility goes?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme taunted. "I think it should be an excellent experiment, don't you agree, Sento?"

"An experiment that hurts people is an abuse of science!" Sento retorted angrily.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme laughed. "I'm fairly certain that includes a fair portion of your own work, then!" Sento flinched at that, the barb hitting a nerve. "And speaking of which… **What percentage of participants administered the final shock in Milgram's infamous experiment?"**

"65!" Sento immediately yelled, causing Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme to flinch as feedback from his own question washed over him.

"Right… Should remember not to ask you science questions in the future," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme grunted. "How about this, then: **which of Muramasa's disciples crafted one of the three great Spears of Japan?"**

"Uhhh…" Both Riders uttered.

"Fujiwara Masazane!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme answered, connecting both of his blades at the hilt and flinging the resulting combined weapon at Emu.

Emu quickly dodged out of the way of the blade, only for Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme to slam into him from the side, flinging him right into the blade as it whirled back through the air, slashing across his back as it returned to its master's hand. "Gah… Whatever happened to providing us with multiple choices for answers?!"

"As my game continues to spread across the globe and ensnare more and more minds, so too does its power!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme bragged. "I no longer need to provide you with options! If you aren't smart enough to know the answers on your own, that's not my fault!"

"Knowing the answers to random trivia questions isn't a sign of intelligence, but how many facts you've managed to memorize!" Sento shouted as he barreled towards Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme on his bike. "REAL intelligence comes from being able to put together those facts and pieces of information in new and innovative ways… Something someone like you can't possibly understand!"

"Can't understand?! I'm a certified genius and a brilliant game designer!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme protested, livid.

"Mighty '06," Emu spoke up. "Oh, and the Futago brothers."

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THOSE UP AGAIN!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme shouted furiously, hurling his combined blades at the Machine Builder just as Sento popped a wheelie. The double-bladed sword slashed through the motorcycle, destroying it…

 **[+] ONE SIDE! READY, GO! GENIUS ATTACK! [+]**

And Sento surged out of the flames, the red, magenta, and orange part of his body glowing as he threw a punch at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme…

Who caught it in one hand. "Once again, too predictable!" He taunted as his sword came back to him, slashing Sento across the back and causing him to cry out in pain as Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme caught the weapon and immediately thrust it backwards, stabbing Emu in the gut just before he could ram into him at top speed, sparks flying as the invincible Rider was flung backwards.

Emu's dreadlocks shot forwards to try and wrap around Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, but the mad genius whirled around and hurled Sento at him, the prehensile hair accidentally latching onto the heroic genius and causing him to slam into Emu, knocking both of them over.

"Have you fools learned nothing? Stupidity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered.

"I thought that was insanity," Emu pointed out.

"And I'm fairly certain that you could be considered guilty of the same thing," Sento added as both Riders pulled themselves back up.

"Shut up!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme snapped. "On a related note… **Who is widely credited for being the person to come up with that saying?"**

"Albert Einstein," Sento answered immediately.

"Dammit!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme cursed as he got hit by feedback. "Really need to stop asking you science questions…" He quickly recovered. "But it is of no use! I grow smarter by the second as my game continues to spread around the globe! Soon I will not only be able to predict all of your attacks, but read your minds, control your very thoughts! I shall be completely unstoppable!" He cackled. "With my expanded brainpower, I have already begun to delve into the secrets of the universe, working toward solving problems that have troubled humanity since the very beginning!"

"While fighting us?" Sento asked skeptically.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme scoffed. "Fighting you takes up so little of my brainpower I can more or less fight you on autopilot while focusing my efforts on far weightier matters!" He perked up. "Oh! I think I actually understand the ending of LOST and the plot of BlazBlue now!"

Emu and Sento gasped in horror. "Such things are beyond the comprehension of mortal men!" Sento cried.

Emu nodded. "Yeah!… Though, if you'd be willing to explain it…"

"Emu!" Sento chided.

"Oh, like you aren't curious too!" Emu shot back.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme laughed. "Never!"

Emu sighed. "Yeah, I figured as much."

"You monster! Knowledge should be shared with all, for the benefit of mankind!" Sento yelled furiously.

"I don't care about mankind, I only care about myself," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered. "And before you go on prattling about pointless things like morality and ethics, you should know that very soon I'll have cracked the code on how to cure cancer… AND understand the plot of Twin Peaks and FLCL!"

"If he does that, he'll truly be unbeatable," realized a horrified Sento.

"Then we'll just have to stop him before he reaches that point!" Emu declared. He turned to Sento. "So, how do we stop them before he reaches that point?"

"Why are you asking me?!" Sento complained. "He's your nemesis!"

"Yes, but you're the genius," Emu pointed out.

"So are you!" Sento argued.

"I'm a genius _gamer_ , which isn't exactly the same thing," Emu countered.

"Oh for…" Sento sighed in exasperation. "Okay, we need to find a way to break his connection to all the copies of his game being circulated around the world and decrease his intelligence back to its base levels. I think a combined attack from your Maximum Mighty Finish and my Genius Finish should do the trick."

Emu nodded in understanding. "Right, because both attacks have the ability to reprogram or alter the target's physiology. Except… He's probably going to see that coming, right?"

Sento nodded. "Undoubtedly. Which is why we need a distraction. Something totally unexpected that he won't see coming."

"Like what?" Emu asked.

And that's when the Tridoron drove off a cliff and hurtled towards Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, its occupants either screaming in terror or laughing hysterically. "WHAT THE-"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme quickly dove to the side as the Tridoron slammed into the ground where he had just been, lashing out with his blade as it drove past and carving a deep scratch into its side, a horrible metallic screeching noise filling the air.

"HEY! You scratched the paint job!" Shinnosuke shouted, livid.

"We should run him over for that, Shinnosuke!" Mr. Belt suggested a little too eagerly.

"Was already planning on it!" Shinnosuke decided, spinning the wheel, his car doing doughnuts across the ground until it was pointing right back at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. Shifting into full throttle, he slammed the accelerator to the floor and charged the evil Rider.

"Shinnosuke, I'm starting to think you and Mr. Belt have a problem," Go moaned, starting to feel queasy.

Brain nodded in agreement. "Yeah! And you guys say MY driving is bad?!"

"It is," Chase told him. "It's much worse than this."

"LIES!"

As the car raced towards him, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme spread his wings and flipped into the air, swinging one of his blades down with the intent of ripping through the hood and smashing the windshield…

 **[+] READY, GO! VOLCANIC FINISH! ACHACHACHACHACHACHA ACHA! [+]**

When suddenly a sunroof on top of the Tridoron slid open and Ryuga Banjo surged out of it, covered in magma, drawing back his burning fist.

Two thoughts raced through the startled Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's mind as the roaring Ryuga shot towards him.

The first was, _Wait, since when does the Tridoron have a sunroof?_

The second was, _This fool thinks his punches can get through my new defense? Truly he is the most imbecilic of Riders! I can't wait to see the look on his face as I counter his attack!_

As he quickly positioned his body in such a way that his genius intellect predicted would be the ideal way to counter Ryuga's punch, two things failed to occur to him. The first was that Ryuga's punches were so ridiculously powerful they defied the laws of physics. The second was that Ryuga didn't give a shit about counters or the tactics of a superior mind; if he wanted to punch something, then by Gaim _he was going to punch it._

And that was why Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme was taken completely by surprise when Ryuga's punch breezed right past his defenses and slammed into his glass helmet, shattering it, breaking his glasses, and leaving a massive indentation shaped like a fist imprinted into his face.

"Whoa!" The amazed Emu gasped.

Sento chuckled. "That's my partner. Only a fool bets against Banjo in a fight!"

Evolt laughed, slapping his knee. "Ha! Thattaboy, Banjo! Show that nerd who's boss!"

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!" Ryuga shouted.

"I didn't say you were."

"… Oh."

"You are, though."

"SHUT UP!"

"When did you get a sunroof?" Heart wondered, glancing up at the hole in the roof of the Tridoron.

"I installed it a while ago. It seemed like a good idea," Mr. Belt explained.

Howling in agony and disbelief, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme was launched backwards, slamming into the ground just in time for the Tridoron to smash into him and bounce him back into the air. As Ryuga launched himself at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme again, the mad genius spread his wings, managed to right himself, and quickly dodged out of the way. "You may have caught me by surprise that time," he declared. "But it won't happen again-"

He was cut off when a piano landed on him.

Emu and Sento stared. "… What?"

The watchers stared as well. "The hell?" Dogranio asked finally.

Z suddenly laughed. "Oh! Oh, I think I know just happened! This is going to be good, trust me!"

With a creak, the lid of the piano lifted, revealing a very dazed Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, covered in broken strings and bits of wood. "Where… Where did that come from?" He asked, bewildered.

"The real question is, can you afford to pay for a replacement? These things aren't cheap, after all?"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme blinked as he saw what appeared to be an anthropomorphic pig dressed like Spider-Man sitting at the piano's bench, plunking away at the keys atonally. _Do I have a concussion,_ he wondered. _Or did that pig just sound like John Mullaney?_

There was a tap on his shoulder. "Excuse me?"

"Eh?"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme turned to see a young man wearing a predominantly black Spider-Man outfit with a hoodie. The young man slowly reached out to touch his shoulder, gave him a sultry look, and said, " _Hey_."

There was a surge of electricity, and suddenly Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme was blasted out of the remains of the piano, body convulsing as energy coursed through him. As his wings spasmed, trying to stabilize his flight, there was the sound of several _thwips_ and abruptly he found himself wrapped in a thick cocoon of webbing created by over half a dozen individuals, most of whom were wearing different variations of Spider-Man outfits and one of whom was piloting a mini mecha.

"Got him!" One who looked like he'd fallen on hard times recently declared.

"And this should keep his mind off of trying to escape!" A female in a mostly white suit announced, the forearms of her costume suddenly dissolving into dozens of white spiders which crawled up the strands of webbing coming from her wrists and entered the cocoon, which started thrashing wildly as muffled screams could be heard from the interior.

"Oh, so she IS like that version of Gwen Stacy," Z realized.

"Pardon me a moment," Dogranio said before leaning over the back of the couch and dry heaving.

"… Sento, are those…" Emu asked slowly.

"Spider-men and -women, most of whom seem to have traveled here from multiple different realities?" Sento finished eagerly. "It would appear so! Oh, what I wouldn't give for a look at whatever technology they used to travel to this dimension! That sort of technology would be MUCH easier to use than the white Pandora panel!"

The Spider-Man in monochrome glanced them. "Hey, if you boys feel like giving us a hand instead of jawing like a couple a' sailors who had a bit too much to drink, we'd kind of appreciate it!"

"We can't hold him forever!" The girl piloting the mini mecha agreed.

"Oh, right!" Emu inserted the Maximum Mighty Gashat into his Gashacon Key Slasher while Sento started cranking his Vortex Lever.

 **| MAXIMUM CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! MAXIMUM MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! |**

 **[+] ALL SIDE! READY, GO! GENIUS FINISH! [+]**

As Emu fired a tremendous beam of yellow energy from his sword in its gun form, Sento launched himself in a side kick covered in red, blue, and gold sparks of energy. Together, they raced towards the cocoon containing Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme…

Which burst open, the Spider-People staggering back as Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme launched skywards, screaming and desperately trying to shake the spider symbiotes off of his body. The beam and Sento's flying kick shot past the space where he had just been, colliding with Ryuga, who had been unfortunate enough to be standing there. "Oh, come on-" was all he managed to say before he was engulfed in a swirling-rainbow-colored explosion.

"Banjo!" Evolt shouted. "How could you possibly let yourself get hit by such an obvious attack like that? I'm so disappointed in you. I expected better."

"Really?" Z asked, disgusted.

"What? Kid's fine," Evolt said dismissively.

Emu gasped. "Oh no! Banjo!"

"Banjo!" Sento cried in horror, racing to his friend's side. "Banjo! Speak to me!"

Ryuga groaned. "Sento…"

"Banjo?!" Sento leaned in close, desperate.

"Sento… Why the hell did you hit me? We're fighting the other guy!" Ryuga yelled angrily, sitting up so fast he nearly smashed his head to Sento's.

Sento stared at his partner in disbelief, then laughed and smacked him on the head. "Should've known it would take more than that to put you down for the count…"

"See? I told you," Evolt said smugly. "Like my son would ever be beaten by a measly attack like that!"

"I'M NOT YOUR SON!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme laughed as he hovered above them all, having dislodged the last of the spiders, which Gwen Stacy had rushed over to collect. "The same could be said for myself! A valiant effort, fools, but-"

He suddenly started screaming and frantically scratching himself. He managed to pluck a spider he'd missed off of the back of his neck, threw it away, and resumed his monologue. "A valiant effort, fools, but futile nonetheless! And now that you've tried that trick against me once, it won't work again-"

Suddenly, a piano fell out of the sky. Without missing a beat, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sliced it in half, the two pieces of the piano crashing to the earth on either side of him. Spider-Ham scowled at him. "Boo! No respect for the classics!"

"It won't work again, and soon, I shall become so intelligent none of you will be able to lay a finger on me-" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme bragged.

There was an unzipping sound. Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme immediately thrust a sword behind him, laughing with relish when he heard a gasp of pain as his blade pierced his would-be attacker's body. "Nice try, Hiiro, but I KNEW you would try something like that eventually!"

"Sorry," the voice of his victim said weakly. "But I'm not Hiiro."

"What-" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme glanced over his shoulder and was surprised to see Brain behind him, gripping the blade that had partially pierced his chest. "What… What are you-"

"Handkerchief Attack!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme screamed and dropped his sword – – and Brain – – as the Roidmude through a poisonous handkerchief into his face, clawing at his eyes as the poison further melted and distorted his already-deformed face. "AAAHHH! MY EYES! _MY EYES!"_

There was another unzipping sound.

 **| CLICK AND OPEN! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! TADDLE LEGEND CRITICAL FINISH! |**

Hiiro dove out of another dimensional crack, blade glowing. Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme ripped off and tossed the handkerchief away and ducked as the winged Rider flew by, sword swinging through the empty space where his head had just been. "You missed!"

Hiiro gracefully landed, wings flaring before folding back up, glancing at Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme over his shoulder. "Did I?"

There was the crackle of static, and suddenly a twisting, multicolored cord of energy appeared over Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's head, stretching up into the sky before branching off into millions of threads extending out over the horizon in every direction. There was a large gash in the side of the cord near where it entered Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's brain, and with a spark and a crackle, the cord snapped, causing the entire network to begin disintegrating into light. "No… NO! What have you done?!"

"There is nothing I cannot cut," Hiiro bragged calmly.

"He severed the connection Kuroto-" Emu realized.

"That's-"

"Shut up. The connection he has with all the copies of Quiz Chronicle he's distributed worldwide," Emu continued. "Now he can no longer draw power from them, so can't get any smarter!"

"No… Noooooo… My beautiful mind… It's getting STUPIDER!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme wailed.

His horns, wings, and gauntlets all dissolved into question marks and faded away as he reverted to his original Quiz Gamer form, plummeting to the ground in the process. His brain's glow diminished, and millions of sparks of energy rose from it and scattered to the winds as all the brainpower he stole was returned to its rightful owners. He wailed despondently as he stumbled back to his feet. "Damn you! No longer am I Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, merely True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal!"

"… I guess that's an improvement?" Go asked skeptically.

"And here I thought some of the names of the bad guys back home were weird…" Gwen muttered.

"Probably not weirder than Dr. Bong," the midlife crisis Spider-Man told them. "And before you say anything, his power is sonic, nothing to do with drugs. God, you have no idea how many times Wade made that joke…"

"Too many to count!" A man in a red and black suit with a pair of katanas declared as he suddenly appeared in a flash of light.

"What the… Wade?! What are you doing here?!" Spider-Man demanded incredulously.

"You said my name three times. You know that summons me," Deadpool told him.

"I only said it once!" Spider-Man protested.

Deadpool blinked. "You did? Oh, I must have misheard, then. Well, I'm already here, so I guess I'll stick around. I'm sure I'll find something fun to kill!" Spider-Man groaned.

"Who… Who is-" Takuya stammered, dumbfounded.

"I'm Deadpool, the Merc with a Mouth!" Deadpool announced happily. "I'm the best at whatever Wolverine does, and it isn't pretty! I'm also the bestest friend ever of Spidey here!"

"No you aren't," Spider-Man grumbled with a resigned air of someone who'd had this argument too many times to count.

Deadpool laughed and gave him a noogie. "Always such a kidder, this guy…"

"You IMBECILES!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal screeched. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?!"

"Foiled your plans and saved the world?" Ryuga suggested.

"You set back the development of human civilization by CENTURIES!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal raved. "With the combined brainpower of everyone on Earth, I could've learned the secrets of the universe! Solved all of society's ills! I was THIS close to coming up with a cure for cancer, ending world hunger, establishing world peace, abolishing prejudice, and eliminating Internet trolls forever! And now, thanks to you, it's all gone!" He angrily pointed at them. "How can you call yourselves heroes when you have denied the world the gifts only my genius could provide?"

"… Is he serious?" Heart asked in disbelief.

Emu sighed. "Unfortunately, he is."

"Let's get real here, Kuroto-" Sento began.

"That's-"

"Whatever. If you actually HAD come up with any of those things, would you have actually implemented them, or continued wasting your intellect for your own glory?" Sento asked pointedly.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal hesitated. "Well. I… I mean… I MIGHT have! And we'll never know now, will we?!"

Hiiro shook his head in disgust. "Don't bother trying to guilt us, Kuroto."

"It's-"

"We both know that if you REALLY wanted to save the world, you would've done it years ago," Hiiro interrupted coldly.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shook with anger, but had no response.

"It's over, Kuroto," Emu informed his nemesis.

"That's-"

"Don't care. You've lost whatever advantage your extra brainpower gave you. You're right back where you were several minutes ago: vastly outnumbered and overpowered," Emu told him. "You can either surrender, change back, and turn yourself in to end this peacefully… Or you can continue pointlessly fighting, and we defeat you in in utterly unnecessary battle, which will be all the worse for you once everyone else gets here. What will it be?"

"Please choose to fight please choose to fight please choose to fight please choose to fight…" Ryuga, Heart, and Deadpool all prayed hopefully.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shook with rage… Then barked with laughter. "Imbecile! Even without the full power of Quiz Chronicle, I'm still smarter than you! You forgot, there is one other option open to me…"

He gestured, and an army of over 100 Bugster Viruses and roughly a dozen of the gargantuan Merged Bugster Unions he'd used as a battle body before the Genius Squad had shown up materialized between him and the heroes. "RUN AWAY!" He shouted, dashing away as fast as he could.

"I forgot he could do that," Hiiro commented.

Ryuga groaned. "I thought we were done fighting summoned enemies! Oh well, at least this gives me a bit more of a warm up before I punch that guy's face in."

"Hopefully this will be more satisfying than the Nazi werewolf I beat to death with my bare hands," Heart agreed.

"Wait, you beat up a Nazi werewolf?" Noir asked, surprised and upset. "I love beating up Nazis! When did this happen?!"

"Before you got here," Heart said apologetically.

"And I think someone else killed Starfish Hitler," Brain told him.

"Shucks! I've always wanted to punch Adolph in the face!" Noir whined, kicking at the ground like a toddler.

"Wait… STARFISH Hitler?" Miles asked, incredulous.

"What, did somebody from Ham's world wind up here?" Gwen wondered.

Spider-Ham scoffed. "Of course not! Everyone knows that OUR Hitler was a llama."

Everyone stared at him. "What?" Peni asked finally.

"What?" Spider-Ham asked right back.

"Why is the Hitler here a starfish?" Asked the very confused (poorly-animated) Spider-Man.

"Because he was resurrected as one by an evil organization who, for some reason, had a penchant for creating monsters that were based on animals mixed with historical figures," Mr. Belt explained.

Deadpool nodded in understanding. "Of course! That explains everything!"

"No it doesn't!" The Spider-Man who'd been labeled as his best friend protested in disbelief.

Deadpool shook his head pityingly. "You really need to expand your horizons, man. After so many years on the job, I'd have thought you'd learned to take things like this in stride by now." Spider-Man facepalmed.

"Peni, you said this universe reminded you of yours. Is your universe this weird too?" Gwen asked the younger girl in the robot suit.

Peni snorted. "Weird? This world and my world are the normal ones! You all are the ones with weird worlds! Well, except for Ham."

"MY world is the weird one?!" Spider-Ham cried, indignant. "My world is perfectly normal! You all are the weird ones with your rigid laws of physics, drab colors, relentless bleakness and despair, and ugly, UGLY people!"

"Who are you calling ugly?!" The Spider-Man who looked like he was from a poorly-animated cartoon demanded.

"From my perspective, you all are all the weird ones," Noir spoke up. "Since there's all these unnatural colors everywhere. And it's not raining all the time."

"If it rains all the time in your dimension, then shouldn't your world have flooded a long time ago?" Miguel asked.

Noir paused to consider this. "… That IS strange…" he admitted.

"Wait, how are our worlds weird compared to yours?" Gwen asked Peni.

"Like Ham said, drab colors, everyone's eyes are too small, your hair colors are dull, barely anyone has a giant robot and giant monsters don't attack several times a week… You don't even have team roll calls or finishing moves!" Peni complained.

"Wait, you have a finishing move?" Miles asked. "Why haven't you ever used it?"

"Well, none of YOU seem to have one, so I didn't want to be the only one to stand out," Peni admitted. Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Hey, would you guys like to come up with a team roll call and finishing moves?"

"Sure, that sounds cool," Miles agreed, getting excited. "Hey, Takuya, can you teach us how to do that?"

"I… Suppose?" Takuya asked, confused and having no idea what was going on now.

"Isn't there a fight we should be focusing on?" One of the Peters complained.

"Don't worry, we'll be done with this annoying and pointless digression in a couple of paragraphs," Ham promised.

"What?" Miguel asked in confusion.

"Hey! HEY! Breaking the fourth wall is MY thing! Not yours!" Deadpool shouted angrily.

"You don't have a monopoly on that!" Spider-Ham retorted. "I've been doing it since long before you were a twinkle in Rob Liefeld's eye!"

"What on earth are they talking about?" Chase wondered, perplexed.

"I have no idea, so let's just ignore them and fight those guys," Go suggested wisely.

And that's exactly what they did.

As the sounds of exclusion and violence broke out behind him, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal ran as fast as he could away from the battle. _Okay, now I just need to get a safe distance away and I can make my escape_ , he thought to himself. _Then once I get to my safehouse, I can begin working on my next scheme. Quiz Chronicle may have been a failure, but my NEXT one won't be!_ He laughed to himself. _And when I get my revenge, not only will none of them see it coming, but there CERTAINLY won't be so many interlopers constantly getting in my way and dragging things out far longer than they should have! I'll show them! I'll show them all-_

"CHAMELEON FIST SECRET RINGI: NULL-EXTINGUISH WAVE!"

A silver whip lashed out, striking several points on True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body in rapid succession, green energy flaring up from each point of impact. He gasped, muscles spasming as the space between his legs suddenly grew much, much warmer and damper, much to his humiliation.

Mele twirled her sais as Rio and Miki ran up to her. "Found him, Rio-Sama! Shall we punish him for trying to run away like a coward?"

The Black Lion nodded, dark energy swirling around him. "Certainly. Miki, since you are the one who hates him the most of us, you may lead the way."

"With pleasure," Miki snarled, cracking her knuckles as she approached True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, who desperately tried to get his spasming body to obey him – – and stop urinating – – so he could escape before the very, VERY angry woman could beat the crap out of him.

"You nearly killed my daughter," she spat, furious, golden energy flaring up around her. "This isn't even a FRACTION of what you deserve. Leopard-Fist Gekiwza: Pierce-Pierce Palm!"

With a kiai, she struck True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body with several hundred super-fast supercharged palm strikes, golden energy flashing from each point of impact as the blows pierced his armor and pulverized his bones, causing him to cry out in pain. With a final palm thrust, she blasted him off his feet, sending him tumbling head over heels away. "THAT was for Natsume!"

"And THIS," Rio bellowed as he powered up. "Is for daring to resurrect Long!"

"And forcing us to interrupt our date to come over and clean up after you!" Mele added, powering up as well.

"BRAVE-ROAR BULLET!"

"CHAMELEON FIST SECRET RINGI: LOVELY PENETRATION!"

Rio hurled a massive orb of Rinki energy as Mele leapt into the air and charged at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, spinning her body and thrusting her sais into him, shredding through his armor before leaping away and allowing her lover's strike to hit the weak spot she had created and fling the wailing Rider away.

 _On the plus side,_ True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal thought in a daze, landing on the ground some distance away with a sick thud, smoke rising from his chest. _I'm not urinating anymore._

"You… You will regret that…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snarled as he staggered back to his feet. "The three of you may have me outmatched in the physical department… But I highly doubt you can best my brilliant mind!"

Miki raised a hand. "Um. I also have a brilliant mind?" She pointed out.

"Not as brilliant as mine!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled petulantly. "For example… **What are the eight virtues of Bushido?"**

The fighters hesitated. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal grinned triumphantly _. I thought so! There's no way they could possibly know-_

"Righteousness!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried out as Takeru Shiba ran past, slashing him with the Rekka Daizantou as he went. "Something you will never possess!"

"What?! How-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stammered.

"Courage!"

Kaoru lashed out with the Kyoryumaru blade, the sword striking and biting into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body again and again. "Something a coward such as yourself has none of!"

"Shinkengers?! HERE?!" He cried in disbelief as he staggered back, clutching his chest.

"But of course," Kaoru said regally, flourishing her blade. "You revived Dokoku. Did you really think we wouldn't respond?"

"Compassion!"

Ryunosuke fired his Water Arrow at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, the projectiles bursting in splashes of water upon impact. "Not that there will be any for the likes of you!"

"Respect!"

Mako fluttered her fan through the air, striking True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal with waves of pink air. "But for one who has none for others, there can be no respect in return!"

"Honesty!"

Chiaki's spear extended, stabbing into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal again and again. "Something I doubt you know the meaning of, given how many lies you've told!"

"Honor!"

Kotoha hurled her Shuriken, the massive throwing star slashing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal as it flew by him, then again when it returned to her hand. "A word I doubt you know the meaning of!"

"I do too!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested. "Honor: high respect-"

"Duty!"

Genta dashed past True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, sword drawn. "Something I chose for myself, since I was not of the proper bloodline… A decision I will never, EVER regret!"

He sheathed his blade, and suddenly True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal convulsed, sparks flying as the damage the samurai's sword inflicted on his body abruptly took effect.

"And don't forget self-control!"

A disk spun through the air and bopped True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal on the head. "Ow!" He rubbed his forehead, angrily glaring at DaiGoyo, or rather, at the Bugster Virus holding him. "What are you doing helping them, you traitor?!"

"We are offering him better wages, a nicer living space, and the chance to serve a noble master who is not an insane megalomaniac that will throw his life away at the first opportunity!" The robot lantern bragged.

"Wait, we're paying him?" Chiaki asked in surprise.

"Why not? All the kurokos get a salary," Takeru pointed out.

"… Dokoku never gave ME a salary…" Dayu muttered, standing nearby.

"Nngh… The blades of you samurai are certainly sharp," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal admitted, straightening up. "But let's see if your wits are! **Who is the only Showa-era Kamen Rider who didn't get a motorcycle?** ** _"_**

"Shin!"

Takashi Hongo and Kiriya in his Ichigo Gamer form jumped over the samurai, flipped in the air, and slammed into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's chest with a double kick, flinging him backwards with incredible force.

"Gah! I think you nearly shattered my rib cage!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried in alarm, clutching his chest.

"Only nearly? Darn, I still haven't really gotten the hang of this form. I'll have to hit you harder next time," Kiriya said in disappointment.

"Don't worry, young Rider, you'll get the hang of it eventually," Hongo assured the younger Rider.

"Hongo…what are you doing here?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal demanded angrily. "This has nothing to do with you!"

"Shocker took an interest in this battle, and so did I," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal explained. "And just because Spider Great Leader is dead doesn't mean I should leave, not when there are still evils left to fight. From what I can gather, you have been causing a great deal of trouble all day long. As the first Rider, it is my duty to help my kouhai restore peace whenever I find the opportunity."

"I hope I can be as amazing as you someday," Kiriya whispered in awe.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal growled. "I don't care if you're the first Rider, I won't allow you to get in my way! Not when I was this close! Let's see if you can tell me **who was the hard-boiled protagonist of** ** _The Maltese Falcon!"_**

"Sam Spade, one of my all-time-favorites!"

"I actually prefer Philip Marlowe, Shotaro."

"Yeah, he's pretty cool too."

Kamen Rider W appeared in their combined Xtreme form and struck True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal twice across the chest with their Prism Sword, carving a large X into his armor.

"Hidari… You're here too?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal asked in disbelief, staggering back.

"What, you thought I'd stay away from my partner's side when he was in the middle of a fight?" Shotaro quipped.

"Allow me to show you the depths of absolute terror!" Ryubee Sonozaki declared, generating a pool of darkness around True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's feet…

Which had no effect. "Yeah, nice try, but I shielded my suit from abilities like that," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered.

Ryubee threw up his hands in exasperation. "What's the point of being able to generate fear if it's doesn't work on anyone?!"

"Don't worry, father, we are more than a match for him," Philip assured his father. "After all, in this form we have total access to the Gaia Library. All the knowledge in the world is at our fingertips."

"So… You basically just have Wikipedia open on your phone at all times?" Chiaki joked.

"The Gaia Library is MUCH more informative than Wikipedia, and you don't have to worry about biased individuals editing it all the time," Philip replied, offended.

"Ah, you may have access to all the knowledge in the world… But what about knowledge from OFF world?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal taunted. **"Which planet in the M78 nebula is known as the Planet of Twilight?"**

"Sundowin!"

Gentaro slammed into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal like a rocket, probably because he was being propelled by the Rocket Module. "My girlfriend has been there! She said it's really pretty!"

"You too?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried in disbelief.

"Well yeah, my best friend is here," Gentaro replied. "Granted, I think all my friends are my best friends, but still."

"While I suppose I should feel offended that you care for all your friends equally, knowing it's you, I strangely don't feel envious at all," Kengo reflected as he ran up in his mecha and punted True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal like a football.

"Sagittarius Punch!" Gamou declared, intercepting True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal and ramming a cosmic energy-charged fist into his back, hurling him into the sky.

"You don't have to call out your attacks, you know," Kengo told the Zodiarts.

"… But I _want_ to," Gamou whined.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal landed on his head. "Gah!" Stumbling to his feet, he snarled at the space heroes. "More and more of you just come crawling… **Speaking of which, how many Rider monsters have a scorpion motif?"**

"Around 27!"

Eiji Hino dropped from the sky, swinging his axe in a colossally powerful downward chop that probably would have split True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal into if he hadn't been jerked back slightly by the feedback from his question being answered correctly. Even so, the weapon cut deeply into his chest armor, bisecting the X W had put there.

"Oh, now why are YOU here?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked. "None of your friends are even ON Genius Squad, or targets of my wrath!"

Eiji tilted his head, confused. "But… Most of them ARE my friends."

"Oh, you know what I mean!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snapped. "I mean nobody from your series… Of adventures is here! There **'s** no excuse for you to be here!"

He jerked backwards as several dozen energy bolts exploded against his chest, Date and Goto running up to flank Eiji. "You revived Dr. Maki and tried to use an employee of Mr. Kougami earlier to incubate a monster," Goto reminded him. "Is that reason enough?"

"Oh, now you're just reaching!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal whined. "And speaking of reaching, **roughly how many computers were infected by the ILOVEYOU virus?"**

"Over 50 million, at least 10% of all computers in the world with Internet access!"

Enter Unite dashed by, swinging his sword wreathed in red pixels as he went, slicing into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"Enter?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried in disbelief, clutching his latest wound. "I knew you would probably turn on me sooner or later, but… Why are you helping them?! You hate humans!"

"I did," Enter admitted. "Until they introduced me to video games… Which is why I must destroy you, because your games are _completely unwinnable_!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared at him blankly. "I… No they're not…"

"Then why," Enter snarled, shaking a Genm handheld at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "Am I, a superior AI, _incapable_ of beating this game?!"

"Oh, for the love of-" Parad snatched the handheld from True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, and fiddled with the controls for a few seconds. Moments later, victory fanfare played. "You were saying?"

"I… You used a cheat code!" Enter accused.

"This game doesn't have cheat codes," Parad countered. "You're just bad at video games, man." Enter fumed and crossed his arms, glancing away. "Oh, Kuroto-"

"That's-"

"Allow me to introduce you to my fiancée!" Parad loudly interrupted him, gesturing at Escape.

The female AI held up her guns one at a time. "This is Gock, this is Magock, and I'm Escape, and you'll find that I'm incredibly good."

"Okay?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal replied, unsure how to react to this. "Wait, hold on a second… You're ENGAGED?! When did this happen?!"

"Just a little while ago," Parad explained. "Kind of a whirlwind romance, honestly."

"Which I still do not approve of!" Enter snapped.

"If I teach you how to play video games properly, will you change your mind?" Parad asked.

Enter hesitated. "I'll consider it."

"So yeah, we're totally going to get married, whether or not you have anything to say about it," Parad declared.

"I don't have anything to say about it," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal replied.

Parad blinked. "You're… Not going to forbid it? Force Escape to jump through all sorts of insane hoops to win my hand?"

"No, I don't care about you enough to justify going to all that effort," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said bluntly.

"That's cold," Dogranio remarked.

"He's a pretty shitty father," Evolt agreed.

"Your reaction to your own 'son' getting hit badly was to yell at him for not dodging it," Z pointed out. "And you 'helped' him get stronger earlier by bragging about how you slept with his parents."

"Hey, I never said I was a better one," Evolt countered.

Parad flinched. "… Okay, I knew you were going to say that, but I'm not gonna lie, that kind of hurt a bit."

"You are a terrible father," Enter said in disgust. "And ours ate Escape after she worked her rear off trying to revive him."

"I'm glad I've disowned you and been adopted by Shigeru Miyamoto," Parad agreed. He glanced Escape. "You hear that, honey? Your man is the son of one of the greatest men in gaming!" She giggled, wrapped around his arm, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Oh, gag me," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal groaned.

"No, we'll shoot you instead," Escape decided, and she and Parad opened fire, riddling True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal with energy bullets.

"I'm here too!" Masato announced, suddenly appearing and unloading his Morphin Blaster at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal.

"I don't care!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snarled as he staggered back. "And I CERTAINLY don't care that Miyamoto-san adopted you because he felt sorry for you for being such a pathetic excuse for a videogame character! CLEARLY he's losing his edge in his old age!"

"Hey!" Parad shouted, livid. "Don't you DARE talk about my dad like that! He's a greater game designer than you'll ever be!"

"Oh yeah?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sneered. "I bet he doesn't even know **what planet was initially attacked by the Algolian Gas-Drinkers as a test run for their golden snow virus!"**

"Leslie!"

Swan leapt forward, striking True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal several times, feathers flowing from each blow.

"What kind of name for a planet is Leslie?" Z complained.

"What sort of name for a planet is Earth?" Abrella retorted.

"Fair point," the emperor conceded.

"Oh, come on!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal whined, spitting out feathers. "Are you all just waiting for me to ask a thematically appropriate question as an excuse to jump in and make a big entrance?"

"A better question might be, why do you keep asking questions that seem to be practically tailor-made for us to answer?" Parad retorted.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal growled. "Let me answer your question with another question: **what species was the talking dinosaur named Bix from the Dinotopia series?"**

They stared at him. "You… You do remember that Yayoi is a dinosaur-themed Sentai, right?" Swan asked.

"… Shit."

"Protoceratops!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cursed and stumbled back as shots from Yayoi's Gaburivolver exploded against his chest.

There was the shriek of a Pteranodon, and Guardian Beast Pteranodon swooped overhead, dropping off Lithia Tribe Princess Mei, Ranru Itsuki, Yuko Fukui, and Asuna, all in their Sentai outfits. "Leave some for us!" Asuna declared, brandishing her blade.

"Oh, why are YOU here too?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal groaned.

"What, you thought we would just sit back and let you get away with having one of your underlings brainwash us and use us as human shields?" Ranru asked angrily.

"When Yayoi called us for backup, there was no way we were going to say no!" Yuko agreed.

"Especially because she FINALLY remembered my name!" Asuna said gleefully. "Oh, but we didn't come alone… After Yayoi told us she was up against some guy who would weaponize quizzes, I knew the perfect person to call!"

Without warning, the ground exploded, sending True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal flying as a gigantic biomechanical Dimetrodon rose from the earth, wreathed in flames as it bellowed, " ** _DIME_**!" Into the air.

"… I'm sorry, what?" Asked the baffled Dogranio.

"A very good question," agreed the confused Abrella.

"Oh boy, a dinosaur!" Z cried gleefully.

 _"What the fuck?!"_ True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shrieked, staring up at the burning robot dinosaur in disbelief.

"Meet DimeVolcano, the INVENTOR of quizzes!" Asuna declared proudly.

" ** _I didn't invent quizzes_** ," the dinosaur corrected her. **_"Someone else did, I just really really like doing them."_**

Asuna blinked. "Oh. Well… Still. You've been doing it longer than anyone alive, so… Good enough."

 ** _"Kuroto Dan!"_** DimeVolcano bellowed, turning his attention to the dumbstruck Rider.

"It's-"

 ** _"I am far too old to care!"_** DimeVolcano interrupted. **_"I have heard you like quizzes! Well, so do I! Do you think you can solve one of my riddles, honed to perfection over millions of years?"_**

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme laughed, feeling like he was back on even footing for change. "Bring it on! I know the answers to every riddle known to humanity, this should be easy!"

There was a malicious twinkle in the dinosaur's eye. **_"Ah, but I'm_** **not** ** _human, now am I?"_**

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme froze. That had not occurred to him. "… Yes. Well. Surely I am intelligent enough to answer your riddle, whatever it is!" He bragged, this time with a bit less confidence.

" ** _Of course you are_** ," DimeVolcano said sarcastically. **_"Now, for my riddle: I ask you this! Say "pizza" 20 times!"_**

"What? That's not a riddle!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme protested.

 ** _"It is if I say it is!"_** DimeVolcano roared, heat washing over True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme and causing him to flinch. **_"Say "pizza" 20 times!"_**

"Pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza pizza," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme stammered.

DimeVolcano nodded. **_"And then?"_**

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme blinked. "'And then?' What do you mean, 'and then?!'"

" ** _FOOL_**!" DimeVolcano bellowed. **_"What sort of answer is that?!"_**

He roared, exhaling a tremendous amount of flames and setting True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Infinity Truly Final Xtreme on fire.

"Is the answer 'get some pizza?'" Z asked. "Because I'm suddenly craving some pizza."

"Got you covered," Deadpool said, offering him a box of pizza.

Z did a double-take. "Where did you come from? Wait, I don't actually care, give me that."

"So… There is a giant robot dinosaur that sets people on fire if they get his quizzes wrong," Evolt said slowly. "Yeah, that seems legit."

"It's not that the answer was wrong," Abrella corrected him. "In ancient times, DimeVolcano was sealed away because they feared his power. His quizzes are really a test to see who he can trust. The answer they give doesn't matter, so long as it's the first thing off the top of their head, which proves to him that they aren't afraid of him and so can be counted on as friends. Well, that and he really likes quizzes."

"I gathered," Dogranio said dryly.

"Girls, let him have it!" Mei cried, drawing her bow. "Rolling Arrows!"

She started slinging several arrows at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, the burning Rider wailing and crying out as he was pierced by the bolts.

"Abare Mode!"

Ranru spread her arms, a dagger clutched in each hand as wing membranes formed under her forelimbs. She leapt into the air, spread her appendages, and glided down at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, slashing him several times with her blades as she flew back and forth.

"Gaburu Cannon!"

"Spirit Hammer!"

Yayoi combined her gun and blade, firing a tremendous blast at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, knocking him off his feet and flinging him towards Yuko, who formed a large hammer out of cyan energy and swung it, smashing him towards Asuna, who drew an ornate blade.

"Unleash the souls! Ryusoul Calibur!"

Energy spiraled up the sword, forming armor and a cape which slammed onto her shoulders, transforming her into Noblesse Ryusoul Pink. She inserted one of her Ryusouls into the sword, powering it up. "Extreme Dino Slash!"

She swung her blade as True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal flew past her, striking him with an incredibly powerful rainbow energy slash resembling a robot ankylosaurus head.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal was engulfed in an explosion, and hit the ground screaming and smoking. "Bet… Your big stupid dinosaur… Doesn't know… When the _Bansenshūkai_ was written…"

"1676!"

Kasumi appeared overhead in a puff of smoke, bringing her sword down towards True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's head. He managed to roll out of the way just in time, but the ground exploded as her blade pierced it, sending him flying. "Stupid… Ninja…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal wheezed as he staggered back to his feet.

"No, you're thinking of my cousin," Kasumi replied as she rose, the light gleaming off of her Chozetsu armor. "I'm the _smart_ Ninninger."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal snorted. "Oh really? I bet you don't even know **who killed Electro-Wave Human Tackle!"**

"Dr. Kate!"

A brilliant arrow of light pierced True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's shoulder, causing him to cry out in agony and spin about as the force of the impact nearly knocked him out his feet. When he regained his balance, he saw that Poppy, Inkohana, Megumi, Shuki, Medic, Yua, Satsuki, and Mizuki were arrayed before him, the ninja having changed into her dinosaur-based form. His shoulders sagged. "This is going to hurt a lot, isn't it?"

Poppy nodded. "After everything you've done? Everything you've put us through? Do you really need to ask?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal sighed. "I don't suppose you'd at least give me the chance to ask another question-"

He never got to finish his sentence due to Satsuki moving so fast she might as well have teleported, delivering a blow to his crotch so powerful he could swear he could feel his sperm count immediately dropping into the negative numbers. Her fists and feet flew so fast they couldn't even be seen as blurs, unlike Inkohana, who joined her a second later in her Clocked Up state, furious red impacts pounding every exposed surface of True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's body, the sounds of armor crunching and bones breaking filling the air as the two ladies pulverized him.

With a final double haymaker, they sent him flying, only for Megumi to snatch him out of the air with her rifle's cable, electrify him, reel him in and fire her weapon at point-blank range, blasting him away again. Shuki shot him out of the air with an energy arrow, and Yua slammed him into the ground with a high-voltage kick, deploying Hex Vespa as she backflipped off of the villain and bombarding him with the drones.

Before the smoke could even clear, Medic pierced his shoulders with tentacles with scalpel blades at the end, raised him into the air, and hurled him at Mizuki, who gave into the primal instincts generated by her dinosaur form and clawed and bit at him with bestial ferocity. At a whistle from Poppy, the savage nurse backed off as the embodiment of all female Riders walked over…

And sighed and knelt beside the moaning True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, looking at him sadly. "Geez, you're really taking a beating, aren't you? Kind of amazing you aren't dead yet."

"I gave myself… An exorbitantly high… Health pool," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal croaked. "Something I… Am beginning to… Regret…"

Poppy shook her head pityingly. "It didn't have to be this way, you know. I'm not sure if we ever could really have been friends, but… We didn't have to be enemies."

"A bit late… For that now…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal coughed.

"It doesn't have to be," Poppy said gently.

He gave her an incredulous look. "Are you… Are you serious?! After everything… EVERYTHING I've done today, and throughout your lifetime… You're STILL trying to redeem me?! I tried to KILL you just a short while ago! Just because you weren't enough like my mother!"

Poppy smiled a little sadly beneath her mask. "What can I say? It's how I was programmed. And I'm now basically a literal angel and saver of souls, so…" She gave True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal a pleading look. "Kuroto-"

"That's-"

"Kuroto, you don't need to do that. Not with me," Poppy interrupted. He glared at her, but said nothing. "Kuroto, you aren't well. On some level, you have to know this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said coldly.

"Sane people don't usually try to take over the world using a quiz game, Kuroto," Poppy pointed out patiently. "Please, just… Just stop it. Stop all of it. None of this is necessary." She gently squeezed his hand. "You were able to live alongside and work with us before. It wasn't all bad, was it?"

"You trapped me in an arcade cabinet and digitized me whenever you thought I got out of line," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal pointed out bitterly.

"And yet you waited quite some time before escaping, didn't you?" Poppy argued. "Doesn't that mean that, on some level, you didn't want to leave?"

"I only stayed so I can use you to defeat all my enemies," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal insisted. "Nothing more."

"I refuse to believe that." Poppy took a deep breath. "Kuroto. Like I said, you aren't well. But I can help you, if you will let me. Please… Just end this, and I promise I will do everything in my power to try to make you well. Even if it means going against the others. Even if they disagree with me. I WILL help you, if you just give me the chance." She shook a little. "Please, Kuroto. I know I'm not your mother, but there's still enough of her in me that it breaks my heart seeing you like this."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal stared at her for a long, long while. And then he said, **"Which scientist is largely regarded as inventing Direct Current electrical power?"**

Poppy's face fell. She sighed. "Well," she said morosely, rising to her feet. "I had to try." She nodded at someone out of True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's line of sight. "He's all yours."

"I am Edison!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried out as the ghost of Thomas Edison blasted him with several thousand volts of electricity, causing his body to twitch and spasm and his skeleton to briefly appear.

"And I am Isaac Newton," the ghost of Newton added, using his gravity powers to fling True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal up into the air.

"And I am da Vinci!" The da Vinci Ganma bellowed, generating a tornado which flung the wailing True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal this way and that.

"And I am Akari!" Akari declared. She held up two Eyecons. "Now, shall I destroy you physically, or psychologically?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal moaned. "I have rather had enough of both for the time being, thank you very much," he griped. "What I'd much rather like to know is if you know **what sort of gun killed John F. Kennedy?"**

"A 6.5x52 mm Carcano Model 91/38 infantry rifle!"

There was a tremendous bang, and suddenly Nico in her Morph Ball form slammed into True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's crotch, knocking him out of the tornado as well as further destroying any equipment he had down there.

"Ho! What a shot!" Dogranio laughed.

"That has _got_ to hurt," Z complained, cringing.

"Boy am I glad I don't have anything down there," Evolt commented.

"Really? Where are your reproductive parts, then?" asked a curious Abrella.

"Don't have any. My people are spawned by the Pandora Box," Evolt reminded him. "We can grow the appropriate parts if we really want to mimic you disgusting lower life-forms, though."

"Wait, I thought you said you had a brother," Z recalled.

"Yes, and a family, though not in the same way as you lot," Evolt explained. "I was created as part of the 'royal' caste. Killbus was older than me, making him my 'big brother,' or our equivalent thereof, just as I was the 'big brother' for my 'little sister' after she was spawned." He hesitated. "…A part of me still hopes she made it off the planet when Killbus went crazy. In all likelihood she didn't, and I never ran into her or any of the others except for my three subordinates, but…a guy can't help wondering…"

"Maybe you could look for her?" Z suggested.

Evolt shook his head. "If she's still alive, I doubt I'll ever see her again. No way back to the old world." He sighed. "Sorry for getting the mood down. Let's resume watching people humiliate Kuroto Dan, okay?"

His friends were quick to agree.

"Yes!" Nico cried enthusiastically as she uncurled and made a three-point landing on the ground. "Told you I could hit him!"

"Okay, okay, you made your point," Taiga grumbled, irritated that he'd lost the bet he'd foolishly made with Nico as to whether or not she could hit such a tiny target from so far away while being shot out of a tank cannon. "There's no need to rub it in."

"Hey, I'm the one who managed to aim at such a tiny target," Jiro pointed out. "I should be getting credit for such an amazing shot as well."

"You're using a TANK," Taiga pointed out testily. "You don't really need to use a lot of precision when firing one of those."

"More than you'd think," Jiro argued back.

Nobunaga winced. "Was it truly necessary to hit him down there?"

"Yes," the other three members of Team Snipe informed him.

"Nobunaga?" Newton asked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Starfish Hitler summoned me, thinking I would aid him in his plans for global domination," the legendary warlord replied.

"Again? That's the third time this week!" Said the incredulous Akari.

"Wait, weren't you supposed to be helping Takeru pacify those angry ghosts who used to be part of your army back in the Sengoku era?" The da Vinci Ganma asked.

Nobunaga froze. "Oh dear, I forgot about that. Oh well, he's a resourceful young man, I'm sure he'll be able to manage."

…

Elsewhere…

"Okay," Takeru said slowly, doing his best not to show any fear in the faces of the several hundred wrathful spirits of dead soldiers and samurai swirling around him. "I can see we got off a bit on the wrong foot here."

"Wrong foot? You kept us from taking vengeance on the fools who disturbed your grave!" One of the ghosts howled.

"It was an accident! They didn't even know you were buried here when they started construction on that sewage processing facility!" Takeru protested.

"Which only makes their desecration WORSE! On multiple levels!" the spokesspirit bellowed. "They must pay for their disrespect…as will you, for shielding them!"

Takeru swallowed. "Okay, I was worried this might happen. What would you say if I told you that I brought the spirit of Nobunaga with me to help arbitrate?"

All of the ghosts were taken aback. "You are a colleague of our master?" the spokesspirit asked in surprise.

Takeru nodded rapidly. "Yes! Makoto loaned him to me, I've got his Eyecon right…here…"

Takeru frantically patted himself down. Much to his dismay, the Nobunaga Eyecon was nowhere to be found. "Oh no, did he get summoned away by some evil cult trying to resurrect hm to take over the world AGAIN?!"

"Where is our master? Stop wasting our time and bring him forth already!" the spokesspirit demanded.

Takeru gulped, then grinned nervously. "Okay, this is going to sound really crazy, but-"

"Just as I thought! You are not a comrade, but a charlatan!" the lead ghost roared furiously, his cohort wailing in outrage. "For this treachery, you shall join the ranks of the dead!"

Takeru sighed in resignation as the shrieking ghosts closed in on him. "Been there, done that…here we go again…"

His death was horrific and not at all quick. On the plus side, it was far kinder than some of Akari's experiments, and he'd be sure to tell her as much when he inevitably was resurrected. (She insisted on quantifying his suffering in detail. All part of the scientific process, apparently.)

…

"Yes. I'm sure he'll be just fine," Nobunaga said confidently.

"I am Edison," Edison disagreed.

"And I am… in a TREMENDOUS amount of pain," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal squeaked, his voice having risen several octaves. "Need to put better armor down there next time…"

"There isn't going to BE a next time, Kuroto," Taiga declared. "Today we are going to be rid of you once and for all!"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal somehow managed to laugh. "Oh Taiga, you really don't believe that, do you? You have to know by now that no matter what happens, I'll come back. I'll ALWAYS come back! And speaking of which, **who wrote the song Comeback King-"**

He was cut off when the Tridoron slammed into him. He tumbled over the hood, smacked face-first into the windshield, then rolled over onto the roof, where the sunroof slid open as Heart grabbed him and pulled him inside.

The car skidded to a halt, and then started rocking on its wheels as muffled sounds of immense violence could be heard from within. Finally, one of the doors swung open and True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal was bodily tossed out of the vehicle, writhing as the poisonous handkerchiefs covering his body melted away at his armor.

"And the answer is Corey Hicks, incidentally," Go added as he and the other Riders climbed out of the vehicle.

"That was fun!" Heart exclaimed, pounding his fist into his palm. "I never thought I'd get the chance to brutally beat up two evil geniuses in one day!"

"You didn't beat up any evil genius, it was all me!" Brain sneered. "The rest of you just showed up late and tried to take credit for all my hard work."

"Well, we can all agree we equally pulverized this evil genius," Chase spoke up in an attempt to play peacemaker.

"What? No way! Shinnosuke, I beat him up most, right?" Heart asked his human friend hopefully.

"No way, it was me, right bro?" Go pleaded.

"Lies! It was me! Just look how much of him I've covered in handkerchiefs!" Brain insisted, gesturing at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, who was frantically trying to rip the handkerchiefs off of him.

"All of you, stop it. This is a silly thing to fight about," Shinnosuke lectured his friends. "Also it was none of you, I did the most damage since I'm the one who started things off by ramming him with my car."

"That doesn't count!" Go protested.

"I say it does, so that's 2 to 1 against you," Mr. Belt decided. "You know, in retrospect, I have to wonder why we didn't use this tactic sooner. It's very effective!"

"I don't think police officers are encouraged to run over criminals in cars," Chase pointed out.

"I'm off the clock," Shinnosuke replied.

"Are you sure my sister would like to know that you are using that as an excuse to run over bad guys?" Go accused Shinnosuke.

"And who's going to tell her?" Shinnosuke countered.

"You," Chase pointed out.

"… Dammit, you're right," Shinnosuke groaned.

With a grunt, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal pulled off the last handkerchief and tossed it at Brain, who yelped as it landed on his back and started running around frantically trying to get it off. "Will you quit arguing about who beat me up the worst and tell me **who performed the first laparoscopic operation on humans?"**

"Hans Christian Jacobaeus."

Hiiro's sword flashed through the air, and it might have cut his head off if he had been a second slower in dodging. **"What is the largest spider in the world?"** he shouted as he frantically scrabbled backwards from the swordsman.

"The South American Goliath Spider!"

Miles placed a hand on True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's back, unleashing a blast of electricity that flung him forward, right into an uppercut from the midlife crisis Spider-Man. The poorly animated Spider-Man hopped onto his counterpart's shoulders, leapt into the air, and planted a kick in True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's chest, flinging him towards Noir, who landed a massive hammer blow to his chin that snapped his whole head back. Gwen caught him with her webs as he flew past, twirled around, and flung him towards Peni, who drove him into the ground with a single blow from one of her robot fists. Miguel used his webs to then wrench the dazed villain from the ground and threw him at Takuya, who laid him out with a right cross. And then, as he staggered to his feet, Spider-Ham rushed over…

And slapped him across the face with a fish. "Why?" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal spluttered, dumbfounded.

Spider-Ham shrugged. "Because it's funny."

"As is this!"

Deadpool suddenly teleported behind True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, stuck a 'Kick Me' sign to his back, kicked him, then bopped him over the head with a gargantuan dildo.

"… But why a dildo?" Gwen asked, dumbfounded.

"Because I have an M-rated movie, so can get away with things a PG cartoon like Porker can't," Deadpool pointed out.

Ham shrugged. "The man has a point."

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal's eye twitched. "You know, just when I think my dignity can't be destroyed any further, the universe finds new ways to humiliate me. Should I even bother asking any more questions, since inevitably someone is going to answer them and hurt me very badly for them?"

"The answer is no!"

"Wait, that wasn't an actual question-" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested desperately, only to be cut off when Ryuga punched him in the face, breaking part of his mask and exposing a very red eye surrounded by bruises.

"I don't care!" Ryuga declared.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to count as bullying," Emu wondered as he and Sento approached. "I mean, he's barely even able to fight back anymore."

"He's refusing to give up, and if we give him even the smallest bit of reprieve, he'd probably find a way to turn against us," the brilliant physicist pointed out.

"He's right, I would," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal agreed. "Now, can either of you tell me **what** -"

Emu and Sento didn't even bother letting him finish the sentence before they blurred into motion, pummeling him at rapid speed, golden sparkles and bursts of rainbow light flashing from every point of impact as they struck him over and over again, faster than the eye could see. While Emu would thoroughly deny it later, he couldn't help confessing to taking an inordinate amount of pleasure in finally getting a chance to take out some of the frustration that had been building up all day on a target that really, REALLY had it coming.

After him sending him flying with a double haymaker, the two Riders drew their blades and slashed through True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal before he could hit the ground, slamming him into a nearby cliff face. As he slumped to the ground, everyone else gathered around Emu and Sento, confronting the thoroughly beaten and broken madman. "Well? Will you give up and finally put an end to this madness, or do we have to hit you some more?" Emu asked.

"Please say we can hit them some more please say we can him some more say we can him some more," Ryuga, Heart, Deadpool, and Kiriya pleaded hopefully.

"I'm still not… Through yet…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal rasped, staggering back to his feet. "Behold!"

He gestured, and suddenly Salty, Alhambra, Revol, Motors, Charlie, Hatena, the Futago brothers, Collabos, and Totema-Genomes materialized before him. Charlie looked around in confusion, realized he was in his Gamedeus form again, and swore loudly. "Oh, COME ON!"

Everyone groaned in exasperation. "MORE minions? Really?" Taiga complained.

"Not to mention ones we've already beaten like a bunch of times!" Nico protested.

"You're just dragging this out longer than it has to be on purpose!" Kiriya accused.

"Not to mention this isn't exactly going to be difficult. We beat them all before, and we have much stronger numbers now," Hiiro pointed out. "By this point all you're doing is just delaying the inevitable."

"Oh, I know full well you're going to steamroll them," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal explained. "But while you're distracted ripping them limb from limb, I'll make my escape, and all of you are here now, so this time nobody will be able to stop me from getting away!"

"Are you guys seriously okay with this? He's using you as cannon fodder!" Parad asked the irritated Bugsters.

"We are well aware," Salty said glumly. "Unfortunately, we don't really have much choice in the matter."

Alhambra nodded. "By this point, we'd really rather do ANYTHING other than fight you guys again, but we can't do anything about it. It's against our programming. We HAVE to sacrifice ourselves so this little shit can get away."

"I'm SO going to get fired," Charlie moaned.

"… Maybe not," Emu said slowly, getting an idea. "All of you, what if I told you I could reprogram you so that you no longer have to obey Kuroto?"

"Wait, what?!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried, startled.

"Well, that would be great, but… Wait, can you do that?" Revol asked in surprise.

Emu nodded. "Sure, I did it for Poppy once."

"It was one of the best things he's ever done for me," Poppy agreed, squeezing her fiancé's hand.

"Wait, don't listen to him!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal protested anxiously, noticing the Bugsters murmuring to each other and taking an interest.

"Hold on now, does that mean he'd be forcing us to stop being evil? I mean, I'm all for no longer having to obey True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal, but that doesn't mean I want to be a good guy," Hatena protested.

"While I'd prefer it if you turned good, you don't HAVE to stop being bad guys if you don't want to," Emu offered. "I'd just remove the programming forcing you guys to do whatever Kuroto says. You can still be enemies with us afterwards if that's what you REALLY want, but at least you'd be doing it of your own volition."

"No! Stop! I forbid it!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled.

The Bugsters glanced at each other for a moment, then at Poppy. "Does it hurt?" Revol asked.

"It does at first," the female Bugster admitted. "But not for long, and besides, I'm pretty sure being killed hurts a lot worse."

"No! Stop! Don't even consider it!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled angrily. "Obey me!"

Any lingering doubt or hesitation vanished at that. "Do it," Salty told Emu. "We can settle whether or not we're still enemies once this is over, but in this moment, I think we can all agree that we share a common enemy."

"Hey, so long as I get back to work on time and I somehow managed to convince my boss not to fire me for vanishing on him AGAIN, I'm good with whatever," Charlie agreed.

"No! Get him! Don't let him reprogram you!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal ordered.

Against their wills, the Bugsters started moving forwards. "Oh no!" The green Futago cried.

"Hojo, if you're going to reprogram us, do it now!" Hatena yelled.

Emu inserted the Mighty Maximum X Gashat into his Gashacon Key Slasher. "I'll save the Bugsters with no continues!" He declared.

 **| MAXIMUM CLICK AND LOAD! |**

 **| FINISHING MOVE! MAXIMUM MIGHTY CRITICAL FINISH! |**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal wailed as Emu fired, sweeping an energy beam across his Bugster army, each of their bodies flashing briefly as reprogramming energy coursed through their bodies, altering their makeup on the coding level.

"Gah! That STINGS!" Charlie hissed, shivering all over.

"But it worked! I feel no obligation to listen to anything that madman says anymore!" Hatena cried delight.

The Futago brothers hopped up and down joyfully. "Oh yeah!"

Salty glanced down his body, realizing he no longer had any of Gutton's parts grafted onto him. "And I'm back to normal!"

"Yeah, I thought you might want your original forms back, so I removed the bits of you Kuroto spliced in from other Bugsters," Emu explained.

"What?! We didn't ask you for that!" Alhambra yelled angrily. "I was so powerful, thanks to the data from Graphite!"

"And I was just starting to like being able to fly," Revol whined.

"Hey, I have no complaints," Charlie said, relieved that he was normal again and not some hideous monster.

"Likewise. I despised having any bit of that womanizer Loverica within me," Hatena sneered.

"So long as I can use a motorcycle again, I don't really mind losing that sword," Motors agreed.

"Damn you! Well, at least I still have Totema and Collabos," True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal growled, trying to find a bright side to the situation… Only to gape in dismay as the two Bugsters walked away from him. "Wait, what are you doing?! You were made to serve me! None of you even have enough personality to want anything else!"

"Without the programming forcing them to obey you, maybe they want to have a chance to figure out who they want to be outside your control," Hiiro suggested.

"Which is wonderful, really!" Poppy chirped.

"Yeah, the more friends, the better!" Parad agreed.

"Now hang on, nobody said we were friends," Revol pointed out quickly.

"But for the moment, we aren't enemies, which is good enough for right now, I think," Taiga said. "We can figure out where we stand once is all over."

"So, want to join us in finishing your old boss off?" Kiriya asked a little too eagerly.

Motors laughed. "It would be our pleasure!"

"Now, hang on a second… Let's talk about this…" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal said anxiously as everyone began powering up their finishing moves. "It doesn't HAVE to end this way, does it?"

"YES!" Was the near-unanimous reply.

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal whimpered. "Yeah, I know…"

The dozens of heroes prepared to attack…

"WAIT!"

Suddenly, the Zyuohgers rushed over. "Wait, don't start without us!" Amu cried.

"We want to help too!" Leo roared.

"What the… What are you guys doing here?!" Nico asked in disbelief.

"Why wouldn't they be here? I mean, pretty much everyone else who's helped us out today has shown up," Taiga pointed out.

"Yeah, except dad… Wonder where he is?" Parad wondered.

"We're sorry we took so long, we got a little lost," Yamato explained as he and his team joined the rest of the group.

"Because a certain SOMEONE doesn't know how to read a map," Sela snarled, glaring at Leo.

"Hey, you're the one who let me read in the first place! You guys should know my sense of direction is terrible!" The lion huffed.

"Is this man our adversary?" Bud asked, glancing at True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal. "He doesn't look like much. He can barely stand."

"Screw you!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal yelled.

"We've been giving him a pretty good beat down for the last several minutes and were about to finish him off," Emu explained.

"You mean we missed most of the fight? Aw man!" Leo moaned.

"As I said, if SOMEONE knew how to read a map…" Sela growled.

"Enough!" Yamato shouted, cutting his bickering teammates off. "We've made it here just in time to help, that's all that matters. Everyone, in position!"

The seven animal-themed heroes quickly found an open spot in the massive line of heroes. As they once again started powering up their finishing moves, True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal suddenly yelled, "WAIT!"

"What now?" Taiga asked testily.

"Do any of you happen to know **what the smallest mammal in the world is?"** True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal asked innocently.

"What? The Etruscan shrew, why?" Yamato replied in confusion.

The Quiz Chronicle Gashat suddenly flashed. True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal started laughing maniacally. "Oh, no reason… Except that you've played RIGHT INTO MY HANDS!"

Parad groaned. "Oh great, how did we screw up this time?"

True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cackled madly as question marks filled the air and started swirling around him. "Fools! Did you think I was merely asking questions of you in a desperate attempt to stay your wrath and buy myself a chance to get away?"

"… Kind of, yeah," Jiro said.

"Well, you were WRONG!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal shouted as the question marks started clustering around his body. "What I was ACTUALLY doing was collecting data! Every kick, punch, energy blast, cut, or other injury you inflicted on me got me this much closer to rebooting Quiz Chronicle and once again allowing me to achieve my ultimate form! The pain you inflicted on me has given me power!"

…

Meanwhile, at Café Himitsukichi…

Nobuo sneezed. "HAKASE!"

Hiroyo Hakase checked her instruments. "Another false alarm. Someone was mangling your catchphrase."

Nobuo scowled. "… You know what? I'll take it. Girls, fire up the Machine Itasha, there is a major crossover going on and I want in!"

"The Itasha got impounded last week," Yumeria reminded him.

"Girls, get your purses and get ready for a long walk to the impound lot, there's a major crossover going on and I want in!" Nobuo immediately amended.

"Wait, why do WE have to pay to get the car out?" Mitsuki complained.

"Because I spent all my money on Sentai merchandise. Again," Nobuo replied.

His teammates sighed in resignation as they checked how much yen they had in their purses. He did this every week…

…

"Oh, come on! You can't really expect us to believe that you let us beat you up for the last several minutes on purpose, can you?" Kiriya demanded.

"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal insisted as the question marks started filling in the injured parts of his armor, including the hole in his mask. "It was my plan all along, and not something I came up with just a few minutes ago!"

"I don't think any of us believe you," Hiiro said flatly.

Ryuga nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I'm one of the stupidest people here, and even I know that's bogus!"

"What you believe is irrelevant!" True Perfect Mega Ultimate Genius Master Brain Final Super-De-Duper Great Neo-Shin Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal cried as the question marks solidified, once again giving him the wings, gauntlets, horns, and swords of his powered up form, as well as fully repairing his armor, helmet, and mask. "Because now, I am once again Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme!"

There was a pause. "We're not calling you that!" Leo yelled.

"SILENCE!"

"Oh, come on! I thought we were about to be done!" Z complained.

"This is starting to drag on too long. I'm beginning get to get bored," Evolt complained.

"As are our viewers," Abrella announced in alarm. "Our view count may start dropping if they don't tie this up quickly."

"Somehow, I don't think we're going to be that lucky," Dogranio groaned.

Emu sighed in exasperation. "Seriously?"

"You are aware that you are still vastly outnumbered, and all of us were about to unleash our finishing moves on you, right?" Sento pointed out. "I doubt that even in this state you could possibly counter all of them."

"You're absolutely right!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme agreed, much to his surprise. "Which is why I'm not even going to bother trying to. I'm going to use my OWN finishing move… And to buy myself time to use it, why don't you tell me **what the longest word in the world is?"**

Sento groaned. "Oh no, not that question…"

Deadpool raised a hand. "Oh! Oh! Is it super-"

"No, Deadpool, it's not that word from Mary Poppins," Sento snapped.

"What about that other one?" Poppy suggested. "I think it's… Anti—"

"Not that one either!" Sento interjected quickly.

"Wait, why are you trying to answer this question in the first place instead of just blasting him?" Asked a confused Misao.

"Because if we don't answer the question, it'll blast us," Emu explained. "Very hard."

Sento sighed wearily. "I know the answer to this question, but it's not going to be easy."

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme cackled. "Which is precisely the reason I chose it! Good luck!"

He transformed into a stream of question marks which shot straight up into the air.

"He's getting away!" Ryuga cried unnecessarily.

"Yeah, somehow I don't think he's going to be going very far…" Kiriya muttered.

Poppy spread her wings. "I shall begin pursuit. I suggest anyone else who can fly does the same."

"In the meantime, I'll answer the question," Sento said, regarding the question, which was still floating ominously before them. He sighed, cracked his fingers, and then his neck. "Okay. I haven't done this in a while, hope I can still get it all right… The longest word in the world is Methionyl…"

...


	54. Final Boss Stage Phase 2B

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.

…

Far, far, _far_ above the heroes, the stream of question marks reassembled themselves into the form of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. Above him, the stars and the moon twinkled in the inky-black expanse of space. Beneath him, the world was spread out, all blues and greens and browns and whites stretching from horizon to horizon, the curvature of the planet visible from this altitude.

From this height, Japan seemed so small. So fragile. So vulnerable and beautiful.

It would be all too easy for him to destroy it.

 **| CLICK TO GO! FINISHING MOVE! CRITICAL QUESTION! |**

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme raised his hand. From the world below, holographic screens with questions and multiple answers on them began to appear, flying up from every device on the planet that had Quiz Chronicle installed on it. The questions converged above his hand, coalescing and compressing into a sphere, one which was growing bigger and bigger by the second as more and more questions were added to it.

Within seconds, it was the size of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme. Then 10 times his size. Then 100, then a thousand, until an orb the size of a small planetoid was suspended in the space above him, millions upon millions of questions and answers swirling within it.

Glancing down at the country of his birth without pity or remorse, he grinned. "Let's see them figure their way out of THIS."

He dropped the sphere.

…

"…isoleucine," Sento finished.

The screen with the question on it flashed, turned into an energy ball, and flew off into the sky.

Everyone stared at Sento in awe and disbelief. "Holy crap, how did you say all that in one breath?!" Nico demanded.

"Years of practice," Sento wheezed, gasping for breath.

"What WAS that? That wasn't an actual word, was it?" Ryuga demanded.

"It is, as a matter fact," Peni interjected. "It's the chemical name of titin, the largest known protein."

"It must be pretty big to have a name that long," Asuna remarked.

Swan nodded. "Indeed. It's larger than a micrometer!"

"… Doesn't sound very big," Go said.

"For a protein, that's VERY big," Akari informed him.

"Why is its name so long?" Emu asked.

"Because that's how chemistry works," Sento replied, having managed to catch his breath.

Poppy, Hiiro, Yamato, Bud, W, Eiji, Gentaro, and everyone else who'd flown after Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme glided back down towards them. "Everyone, we have a real pi-pu-pe-po-problem!" The Valkyrien cried in dismay.

"What? What is it?" Taiga asked in alarm.

An unearthly radiance fell upon them. They looked up to see that what appeared to be the entire sky, as far as the eye could see, was covered in a swirling mass of question screens. A swirling mass of question screens slowly descending towards them. "That," Hiiro said plainly.

"Oh dear," Abrella remarked, looking mildly concerned.

"That…is a big ball of death and destruction," Z said nervously.

"Yeah, I'd say it's maybe the seventeenth biggest I've ever seen," Evolt agreed, not looking very concerned.

"It's certainly bigger than any WE'VE ever made!" Dogranio retorted.

"Um. That's a lot of questions," Parad observed, stating the obvious.

"How the heck are we supposed to answer all of those?!" Nico cried in disbelief.

"Do we have to? Can't we just blast it from down here?" Heart suggested.

Swan shook her head. "No good. Considering the size of that thing, if it explodes, the fallout would still destroy the entire country, and might even ignite the atmosphere."

"Then let's just form a giant mecha and push it back into space and destroy it there," Genta suggested.

"Yeah, my team did something like that to save the world from a meteor sixty-five million years ago," Asuna agreed.

"Wait, what?" the confused Dayu said.

"I'm not sure that even if we had all of our mecha working together, we could push back something that large," Tusk said doubtfully.

"Not to mention that if any of us touch the sphere, we might accidentally hit a wrong answer by mistake and set the whole thing off," Poppy pointed out.

"Then how do we stop it from exploding?" A very anxious Gwen asked.

"I'm guessing we'd have to answer every question correctly before that thing hits the ground," Yayoi speculated.

Kiriya sighed. "Yeah, that sounds like Kuroto." He paused for a moment. "Huh. Was kind of expecting him to correct me about what his name is."

"How would he hear you? He's in space," Kengo pointed out.

"Somehow, I don't think that's enough to stop him," Hiiro said grimly.

"He's probably yelling at the top of his lungs, we just can't hear from down here," Taiga agreed.

"Okay, so how are we possibly supposed to answer all those questions? There's got to be millions of them!" Ranru pointed out.

"Philip? Could you do it?" Ryubee asked his son.

Double hesitated, then shook their head. "I… Maybe? I could look up all the answers, but there's no way I could get them all before that thing hits us."

"Maybe if everyone who has a time stop or time manipulation ability combined their powers?" Poppy suggested. "And maybe augmented it with Newton's gravity control?"

"I don't think my powers can affect something that massive," Newton said doubtfully. "But I could try."

"The time stop could work," Brain spoke up suddenly. "With Heart, Medic, Poppy, and myself, there are enough of us to pull off a Global Freeze… I think. That could at least slow it down if not stop it."

"Wait, we don't want to stop time around the world!" Go protested.

"We'll aim it at the sphere, not the planet," Medic promised. "That should do the trick. Probably."

"And then I could open a wormhole to send it into space!" Gentaro added. "I mean, okay, it's a lot bigger than XVII, but…"

"I can open dimensional cracks with my sword," Hiiro spoke up.

"And we can do the same with our tech," Miguel added. "If we combine our powers, it might just work."

Newton sighed. "All right then, I'll start us off." He aimed his hands upwards and fired gravity waves at the massive energy ball. He gasped and immediately fell to his knees. "Okay… That is MUCH heavier than I thought it would be… WAY heavier than that floating island created by the guy who wanted to be a modern-age Nobunaga…"

"You know, looking back, I wish I'd had a flying castle," Nobunaga remarked. "Granted, I'm not sure exactly how I would've gotten to and from it, but I'm sure I would've thought of something."

"It's our turn, then," Heart decided. He stretched out a hand. "Brain, Medic, Poppy, let's do this."

"You know, considering we spent so much time preparing to do this back in the day, it's amazing we may actually be able to pull it off now… For a GOOD reason," Brain remarked, placing his hand over Heart's, and Medic putting her hand over his.

Poppy placed her hand on top. "Okay," she said, tapping her Tsukuyomi and Medic statuettes. "Let's hope this works…"

 **| MEDIC! HEAVY ACCELERATION! TSUKUYOMI! TIME STOP! |**

Everyone took a step back as they were engulfed in a blinding golden radiance which shot upwards and struck the colossal sphere, golden energy waves washing out from the point of contact and quickly engulfing the orb of condensed knowledge in its glow. The sphere's inexorable descent slowed and gradually came to a halt. Everyone sighed in relief.

"That was close," Ryuga spoke up.

"We aren't out of this yet," Sento reminded him. "Now we need to see if we can get rid of this thing."

"Miguel, are you sure this won't completely fry our goobers and strand us in this dimension indefinitely and/or destroy the universe?" The midlife crisis Spider-Man asked Miguel as the Spider-Man from the year 2099, Kengo, and Peni tinkered with several insanely high-tech gadgets crudely networked together and plugged into Gentaro's Barizun Sword.

"Absolutely! Probably. I'm 100% sure there's only a 60% chance of that happening," Miguel replied.

"Those sound like good odds to me," Ham remarked.

"Me too!" Deadpool agreed.

"Okay, I think we're ready," Kengo announced. "Gentaro, make the largest portal you can."

"Sure thing!" Gentaro inserted the Cosmic Switch into his sword and pulled the lever.

 **| LIMIT BREAK! |**

The "goobers" activated, crackling with energy which coursed up the cables connecting them to the Barizun sword, a massive energy beam firing from its tip and generating a colossal wormhole far in the air above them. The portal grew and grew and grew until it was nearly as big as the quarry…

Which was still far too small to fit the ball of questions into. "Yeah, that's not going to cut it," Gwen noted.

"Well, at least the universe didn't explode," Miles pointed out optimistically.

"Give it time," Deadpool said cheerfully.

"I believe it's my turn, then," Hiiro announced, raising his sword. Concentrating, he pointed upwards, at the edge of the wormhole, and slowly moved it in a circle, tracing the point along the rim of the vortex. As he did so, a giant zipper slowly unzipped around the edge of the wormhole, causing the portal to expand exponentially. By the time he completed his circuit, the wormhole was now twice as big…

And still only about a quarter of the size of the ball.

Everyone stared at portal which had been their only hope. "Well, shit," Nico said finally. "I guess we're fucked then."

"Hey Evolt, can't you open a black hole big enough to get rid of that thing?" Z asked the alien horror.

"Oh, totally," Evolt replied.

Z waited for a moment. Evolt didn't do anything. "So… Are you going to, or…?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

Evolt laughed. "Why should I make it easy for them?"

"We're here as well," Dogranio pointed out.

"And are all very resourceful individuals who I am sure have ways off this planet just in case those do-gooders somehow, by a dark miracle, failed to stop that thing," Evolt pointed out. "Which we all know won't happen, since they'll figure out something at the last minute like they always do."

"You have a point," Abrella conceded. "But just in case, I'd better check to see if my personal teleporter is fully charged…"

Gamou groaned as the inadequate portal was allowed to close. "Well, that's just great. I came back from the dead, switched sides, and now I'm about to die again. Wonderful."

"Join the club," Dayu grumbled.

"We aren't out of the woods yet," Philip pointed out. "Heart, how long do you and your friends think you can keep that thing frozen?"

"I'm honestly not sure," Heart admitted. "Brain?"

"Indefinitely. I think," Brain said uncertainly.

"You _think_?" Medic asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's not like we ever managed to get this far before!" Brain pointed out.

"They might be able to maintain the Heavy Acceleration indefinitely, but I don't know if I can," Poppy confessed, a hint of strain in her voice as her body started to subtly shake.

"Then we'll have to work quickly," Philip decided. "Shotaro and I will fly up there while you keep the sphere frozen and try to answer as many questions correctly as I can. While I don't know if I'll be able to answer all of them before the time stop fails, hopefully I'll be able to get enough of them right that it will significantly diminish the power of the sphere, so it won't destroy all of Japan. In the meantime, all of you get out of here and evacuate everyone you can find so that there won't be any civilians anywhere near Ground Zero. With all of us working together, we should be able to keep casualties to a minimum."

"I don't think I like that plan," Ryubee argued. "It puts a lot on your shoulders, son."

"Unfortunately, I don't really think that at this point, we have any alternatives," Philip pointed out.

"You do, actually. You can let me handle it."

Everyone turned to see a Rider whose armor was covered in red and blue question marks approaching. Emu gasped. "Mondo!"

"Yes?" Misao asked.

"No, not you, him! Mondo Douan! Kamen Rider Quiz!" Emu explained. "He's a Rider from the future, who fights evil using the power of quizzes!"

"He showed up out of the blue earlier to help us answer a question we didn't know the answer to," Parad added.

Ryuga groaned. "Oh great, MORE quizzes?"

"Don't worry, I use my quizzes for the power of good, unlike Kuroto, who is abusing them for evil purposes," Mondo promised as he reached the rather large group.

"Douan. What are you doing here?" Hiiro asked.

"I told you all earlier that you would see me again," Mondo reminded the doctor Riders. "And that time is now. You've nothing to worry about. I'll take things from here."

"Take things… Wait, do you mean you're going to get rid of that thing in the sky? All by yourself?" Taiga asked incredulously.

Mondo nodded. "I am indeed. Remember, I've been studying records of this battle for years. I've been training all my life for this moment, my greatest challenge, the most difficult quiz ever conceived with the highest of all possible stakes. It is my destiny to answer the questions Kuroto Dan has accumulated in that sphere and save Japan."

"What? Are you serious? There's no way you can stop that thing by yourself!" Protested a disbelieving Kiriya. "… Can you?"

Mondo glanced at Emu. "Emu? I can stop this sphere and save everyone. O or X?"

The panels on his chest started flashing at the sound of a timer ticking down filled the air.

"O," Emu said without a moment's hesitation.

The O panel lit up and a bell rang. "Correct!"

"Wait, you really can do it?" Shotaro asked in amazement. "When not even Philip is certain he can?"

"Not to disparage your friend or anything, but I AM from several years in the future, so I have access to certain technology and pieces of information he doesn't," Mondo pointed out. "But it doesn't matter whether or not you believe I can do it. I KNOW I can do it, and that's all that matters. After all, history has already recorded that I prevail, so there is really nothing to worry about. My victory is etched in stone."

Hongo nodded in approval. "I can sense your convictions, young Rider. I do believe you are capable of everything you claim. Go, then! Show us what you are capable of!"

"I fully intend to," Mondo promised the first Rider. He glanced at the four artificial lifeforms still generating the Heavy Acceleration. "Oh, and you needn't overexert yourselves continuing to freeze that thing. I won't need the handicap."

"Really? Well, okay then," Heart said with a shrug, withdrawing his hand.

"Wait, shouldn't we talk about this first-" Brain protested, but it was too late. Without Heart, the Heavy Acceleration field collapsed, and the sphere began to descend again.

Newton, who had stopped using his gravity several minutes ago and hoped nobody noticed, asked, "So, do you need me to try to hold that thing up or…?"

"No, I'm good," Mondo assured him.

"Oh thank God," Newton breathed in relief.

Mondo gazed up at the descending sphere of destruction. "The answer is to save the world. And it's always the right answer."

He removed the question mark-shaped device in his Driver, causing it to transform into an exclamation mark, and then reinserted it.

 **[?] FINAL QUIZ FLASH! [!]**

Mondo leapt into the air, jumping astonishingly high even for a Kamen Rider, and vanishing inside the sphere.

…

In space, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme tapped his foot on the ground, or would have if there had been a ground to tap on. "What is taking that thing so long?" He grumbled, glaring down at his Critical Question orb, which was still enshrouded in the remnants of the Global Freeze energy field. "It should've destroyed them by now… Oh, there we go," he said in relief as the golden energy vanished and the sphere started descending again. "I guess they finally realized it was futile to stop it. Soon, they shall all perish-"

A spot on the sphere turned blue.

"Eh? They got a question right?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme asked in surprise. "Well, no big deal, it's only one-"

Another blue spot appeared. And another. And another.

"… It's just a few," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme said slowly, more to reassure himself than anything else. "They can't possibly get enough right for it to make a difference-"

More parts of the sphere turned blue. In fact, by this point they were less spots than whole swaths of color spreading outwards. The orb trembled and started rising upwards.

"… No."

At least a third of the sphere was blue now.

"That's not possible."

A half.

 _"That's not possible!"_

Three quarters. The sphere was rising faster now, heading right back towards its creator.

"No! No no no no no no NO!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme flew down to the surface of the sphere and started pushing down at the center of the only area left that had not yet turned blue, an area which was rapidly diminishing. Desperate, he poured his energy into the sphere, generating new questions in a frantic attempt to try and push back the tide of correct answers. "No! This can't be happening! I won't allow it! I won't-"

And that's when the feedback orb from his question about the longest word in the world finally made it out of the atmosphere and slammed into him. He cried in alarm as he lost his grip and the sphere turned entirely blue, surging upwards to collide with him.

"Oh-"

…

The explosion could be seen all the way from the ground. The gathered heroes watched solemnly as the flash of light from the blast gradually flickered and died out.

"Mondo…" Emu whispered.

"He really did it," Swan whispered in awe. "He saved everyone."

"He proved himself to be a true Kamen Rider," Hongo said gravely. "His sacrifice shall not be forgotten."

"If this doesn't earn him a heroic Eyecon, nothing will," Akari agreed.

"He has certainly earned his place in Helheim," Poppy said solemnly. "I guess I should go collect his soul now…"

"Thanks, but you don't need to do that. I'm not dead."

Everyone whirled around in surprise to see Gentaro emerging from a wormhole with Mondo, looking somewhat singed, but still alive. "Mondo! You're alive!" Emu cried in relief.

Mondo laughed. "As if I could ever be killed by a quiz! I admit, it would've been pretty dramatic if I HAD died, though."

"I figured, since he was going to space, he might need a rescue since I wasn't sure if his suit could withstand reentry," Gentaro explained. "So I went after him just to be safe."

"Well thought out, Gentaro," Gamou said in approval.

"And it looks like I won't have to carry his spirit to Helheim after all, thanks to you," Poppy said in relief. She paused. "I'm… Not going to get in trouble for not meeting a quota or something, am I, Hiiro?"

"No, you're fine," Hiiro assured her.

"So that's it… At last, it's finally over," Taiga sighed, slumping against Jiro's tank. "And about time, too. This has been one really, REALLY long afternoon."

"Yeah, feels like it's been a couple of years," Kiriya agreed.

"Wait… If it's over, shouldn't there have been a big GAME CLEAR or something?" Mizuki asked.

Everyone froze. "No… There's… There's no way he could've survived that, is there?" Parad whispered, horrified.

Emu gasped. "No… But didn't he have some extra lives?"

"I do indeed!"

A purple warp pipe appeared, and Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme emerged. "Fools! Did you really think a minor setback like that was going to get rid of me that easily? Especially when I still have…" He glanced at the counter over his head and did a double-take. "I'm down to 13 lives?! Wow, that must've been a really powerful blast… Well of course it was, it came from me, after all!" He laughed maniacally.

Everyone groaned. "Are you shitting me?!" Ryuga demanded. "We have to kill him 13 more times for it to stick?!"

"Well, on the bright side, at least we actually get a chance at him this time," Motors pointed out to his brethren, trying to find a silver lining.

"We spent several minutes pounding away at him before and he STILL wouldn't drop dead until Mondo hit him with his own finishing move! At this rate it will take us hours!" Pointed out an irritated Goto.

"What the hell, author? You already dragged the story out months longer than it should have been with all this Genius Squad boss rush crap and unnecessary side plots, and now you're throwing in yet ANOTHER excuse to keep this story from just ending already?!" Deadpool screamed at the heavens. "Do the words 'arc fatigue' mean NOTHING to you?"

"… Who is he talking to?" Takuya asked the midlife crisis Spider-Man.

"I don't know, and I don't WANT to know," the other Spider-Man replied.

"Probably a wise decision," Spider-Ham agreed. "The truth would blow your mind."

"Oh, it will take even longer than you think!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered. "Thanks to the data I collected from you all before when I allowed you to beat me up-"

"I don't think you 'allowed' us to do anything," Mr. Belt interjected.

"When I ALLOWED YOU to beat me up," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme repeated loudly. "None of your attacks will be as effective as they were before! I have gained an immunity to them!"

"Of course you have," Shuki said wearily.

"You haven't gained an immunity to OUR attacks!" Leo pointed out. "We just got here!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme nodded. "That's true. And in the very unlikely event that you managed to defeat me as I am now, your attacks will be virtually ineffective in my next life."

"… Oh. Right," the lion muttered.

"13 lives is overkill! Nine is the perfect number," Amu huffed. "And much luckier at that!"

"So really, at this point, it's all a matter of attrition," Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme continued, loving, as always, the sound of his own voice. "The lot of you are already no doubt tired after all the fighting you've done so far, while I am fresh thanks to my respawn. And if you kill me, you'll be even more tired in my next life, while I will once again be at full strength if not greater! There is no way for you to possibly defeat me!"

"False!" Mondo declared.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme recoiled, energy crackling over his body. "What?! But that wasn't even a question!"

"As far as I'm concerned, it was," the other Quiz Rider replied. "You've forgotten, Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme-"

"Did he really manage to somehow remember that entire name?" Hatena wondered in disbelief. "Without it being programmed into him?"

"I'm from the future," Mondo continued. "I've been studying this battle my entire life. And that means I know what happens next." Beneath his mask, he grinned. "I know that you lose."

"Oh, I do, do I?" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme sneered, a faint undercurrent of doubt running beneath his voice. "And just how does that happen?"

Suddenly, another warp pipe, this time green, popped up, and Kamen Rider Nintend-O sprung out in a familiar pose, accompanied by the appropriate music. "It's-a me, Miyamoto!"

Emu, Nico, Chiaki, the Bugsters, and any other gamers among the group squealed in delight. "Miyamoto-sama!" Poppy exclaimed joyfully.

"Dad! You're here!" Parad proclaimed in excitement. He shook Escape and pointed at Miyamoto. "You see him, Escape? He's my dad! Your future father-in-law! Dad, look, I have a fiancé!"

"And I'm very pleased to hear it, Parad," Miyamoto said kindly. "You've chosen a very lovely AI to be your bride."

Escape blushed despite herself. "I… Thank you?"

"I still haven't consented to this union!" Enter yelled.

"Enter, Miyamoto can teach you how to win at video games," Parad told him. "Even better than I could."

Enter paused. "… Tell me more."

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh I can't believe it! He's really here! Shigeru Miyamoto!" Salty cried, dancing about giddily.

"Oh yeah!" the Futago brothers chorused, hopping in excitement.

"Oh gosh, I never thought this would happen," Alhambra stammered. He turned to Collabos. "Quick, how do I look? Is my cloak neat and tidy? My scepter polished enough? My fangs nice and pointy? I can't look bad in front of _that_ man!"

Collabos gave him a thumbs-up.

"Where's my motorcycle? Maybe if he sees how good I am at riding one, he'll put me in the next Excitebike game!" Motors said hopefully. "Heck, I'd even take being a DLC character for Mario Kart!"

"I wouldn't mind a cameo in the next Tetris remake," Hatena spoke up.

"Hey! HEY! None of you are appearing in any Nintendo games!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme yelled. "You're my intellectual property, which means you can't appear in any games without my permission!"

"I think the current head of Genm is the only person who can decide that, actually," Revol pointed out.

"Nobody asked you!" Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme snapped. "Ahem. Miyamoto-san, what, eheh, what are you doing here? I hadn't expected to see you again today."

Miyamoto gave Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme a stern look. "Kuroto Dan, this time you have gone too far. You distributed a videogame that nearly stole the brains of every person on Earth solely to benefit yourself. Video games should bring entertainment to the masses, not enslave them!"

"Technically, a point can be made that they're doing both, since people get addicted to games and want to buy more, which means better profit for the company making them, and-"Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme started.

"I care not for technicalities," Miyamoto interjected, actually sounding angry for the first time. "Time and time again, you have abused your talents as a game designer and inflicted great suffering on the people of the world. You've been given chance after chance to redeem yourself and change your ways, only for your ego to always lead you back down the path of darkness. Just a few minutes ago, you tried to destroy Japan just to keep from losing a game of your own devising! This is the last straw! By the authority invested in me as the head of the Council of Game Masters, I hereby levy upon you a fitting punishment for your many crimes, a fate worse than you can possibly imagine!"

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme gasped in horror. "No! Not… Not being trapped in the Game World of Mighty '06!"

"… Okay, a fate slightly better than a fate worse than you can possibly imagine," Miyamoto conceded. He raised an index finger, glowing white, and tap to the center of Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's forehead.

There was the sound of shattering glass, and suddenly Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme's armor disintegrated, leaving him in his base Action Gamer Level 0 form. The Quiz Chronicle Gashat sparked, cracked, and ejected from his Driver, breaking into a billion pieces when it hit the ground.

Transcendent Legendary Magnificent True Perfect Mega Ultimate Maximum Future Wonderful Miracle Beautiful Genius Mastermind Brain Final Hyper Grand Master Super-De-Duper Great Dream Neo-Shin Real Kuroking Dan Supreme GOD Plus Ultra Beyond Eternal Exceed Infinity Truly Final Xtreme, or rather, simply Kuroto Dan, looked over his body in confusion. "I… I don't understand. "I'm alive? And…" He glanced upwards, his life counter still at 13. "I have all my lives?"

Miyamoto shook his head gravely. "Oh no, Kuroto. Death was not the fate I had in store for you, but something far, far worse…" He pointed his finger at the evil Rider again. "I have taken from you your talent! From this day forth, you will NEVER be able to create a videogame ever again!"

Emu, Nico, Parad, Poppy, the Bugsters, Chiaki, and any other gamers in the group gasped. "Wait, that's it?" Mei asked, unimpressed.

"For someone like him, it's more than enough," Emu said gravely.

Nico nodded. "It's a horrible fate! One I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even him."

"Oh Kuroto, I'm so sorry…" Poppy whispered.

Parad shook his head, appalled. "I know he had it coming, but still… Damn. I hope I never do anything bad enough to warrant dad doing something like that to me."

"As long as he doesn't try to eat you after you work your tail off trying to please him, you're probably good," Escape said dryly.

Kuroto laughed nervously. "What? N-no, that can't be it. You're bluffing. Someone like you would…w-would never do something that horrible to another game designer! I still have plenty of games I've been planning to make, like… like…"He started to tremble. "No… That's not… Wait, what about… No, not… Why… Why can't…" He grabbed his temples. "Why can't I remember any of them?! All my brilliant ideas for games, even the ones I've already made… They're all gone!"

Miyamoto shook his head regretfully. "This was not a fate I would have wished upon my worst enemy, Kuroto. Nor is it one that I inflict on you lightly. However, if left to your own devices, it is inevitable that you would one day create a game that would destroy the world. This is the only way we of the Council of Game Masters saw to prevent this future from coming to pass." He closed his eyes and turned away. "I'm sorry, Kuroto. But you left us no choice."

Kuroto wailed and fell to his knees. "No… No…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"… Shit. Now I'm actually starting to feel SORRY for the bastard," Taiga confessed.

"I'm not," Kiriya said coldly.

Miyamoto glanced at the heroes. "My purpose here is done. Kuroto's fate, for good or ill, is in your hands now. Oh, and Parad?"

"Yes, dad?" The Bugster asked.

"I AM invited to the wedding, right?" Miyamoto asked.

Parad burst into startled laughter. "What? Yeah, of course!"

"Ours too!" Poppy cried, grabbing Emu's hand.

"Then I'll be sure to make it," Miyamoto promised. He jumped back into his warp pipe and disappeared.

"So cool," Motors gushed.

"I wish he was our dad," Salty lamented.

"I don't see why he couldn't be, all I had to do is ask," Parad pointed out.

"Seriously? You mean we may have just missed our chance?!" Hatena cried in horror.

"Don't worry, I'll ask him about it next time I see him," Parad reassured him, much to the relief of the Bugsters.

"So… What now?" The da Vinci Ganma asked. "Is it over?"

"I think at this point it all depends on Kuroto," Hiiro replied, nodding at the villain, who had fallen to his knees, sobbing and clutching his head.

"Kuroto," Emu said gently. "It's over."

"No… No, it can't be…" Kuroto stammered.

"It's over," Emu repeated. "You've lost. Denying it will only prolong this longer than it already has been."

"Months longer," Deadpool agreed.

"Seriously, what is he-" Takeru began.

"Don't," the midlife crisis Spider-Man said harshly.

"At this point, you really only have two options," Emu told Kuroto. "You can surrender, submit to arrest, and maybe, just maybe, you can get a fresh start."

"Or… You can continue to pick an unnecessary fight, in which event we will have to defeat you," Taiga picked up. "As many times as it takes until this ends."

"Even if it means… Even if it means using up every last one of your extra lives," Poppy said softly.

"So… My choices are life… Or death?" Kuroto asked hoarsely, his voice raw.

"Pretty much, yeah," Nico agreed.

Kuroto started trembling, not with tears, but with rage. "If it is a choice between life without my talent, or death…" He snarled as he rose to his feet. "Then I will choose death! Every time!"

He produced a Gashat. "Or rather… UNdeath!"

 **| CLICK TO GO! DANGEROUS ZOMBIE! CLICK AND LOAD! |**

"HENSHIN!"

 **| BUG IT UP! DANGER! DANGER! DEATH THE CRISIS! DANGEROUS ZOMBIE! |**

In a flash of darkness, Kuroto was in his Zombie Gamer Level X–0 form. "I don't care that I can't possibly win. I don't care that all I'll probably be able to do is minorly inconvenience you at best," Kuroto ranted. "But throughout this horrible day, despite the repeated failures, constant humiliation, and a really unfair amount of pain-"

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure it was a fair amount," Kiriya interjected.

"DESPITE ALL OF THAT," Kuroto yelled. "At least I knew I still had my peerless talent to fall back on, the only thing I valued more than my own life… And now even THAT has been taken from me! And without it, my life no longer has any meaning… So I might as well throw that away as well!"

Emu sighed. "Kuroto, we don't have to do this-"

"As if I have ever cared what you want!" Kuroto snapped. "It is my will that I die this day… And I shall do my best to take as many of you as I can with me, even though I know in my heart it is a futile effort! If I can manage to inflict even the tiniest amount of suffering upon you all for what you have cost me, I can die content!"

"Hmm. How… Petty. And very, very disappointing."

"Eh?" Everyone glanced upwards and were startled to see Shin Ginis standing atop a nearby ridge, doing a sarcastic slow clap.

The Zyuohgers gasped. "Ginis! But how? We killed him!" Sela protested.

"Oh yeah, that's right, Kuroto revived him earlier," Kasumi recalled.

"And then he just… Disappeared?" Yayoi said vaguely.

"I guess we sort of forgot about him," Sento admitted, embarrassed.

"Well, considering just how many people got involved in this, I suppose it's understandable one or two might fall through the cracks," Philip admitted.

Z snapped his fingers. "Ginis! That's it! I KNEW we were forgetting someone!"

"I cannot believe I forgot about that guy," Evolt remarked.

"Neither can I," Abrella confessed, looking irritated. "This is most embarrassing. I thought my memory was better than that…"

"Wait, so he's just been observing the fight the whole time without doing anything?" Dogranio complained.

"That's what we did," Z pointed out.

Dogranio paused. "Well. Yes. But he could have joined us!"

"Having a fifth commentator might've been interesting," Abrella agreed.

"I wonder what he's been up to…" Evolt murmured.

"Ginis! Where have you been?!" Kuroto demanded. "Why weren't you fighting any of the heroes I summoned you to fight?" He paused, then glanced back at the group. "None of you fought him, right?"

There was a large consensus that no, they had not.

"Right. That's what I thought."

"I had considered participating in the battle," Genis admitted. "But all the other villains seemed to have staked a claim on a particular opponent, and since the Zyuohgers had yet to arrive, I had no particular investment in who to fight. So, instead I decided to sit back and observe. I found it VERY entertaining."

He sighed. "But, alas, it seems all of you are just about done fighting, and watching all of you beat up poor, defenseless, pathetic Kuroto-"

"Hey!"

"Has rather lost its appeal. And since I simply cannot ABIDE boredom, and I'm not quite ready to call it quits yet…" He grinned cruelly. "I figured it was time to step forward and turn this into a game much more to my liking. It HAS been such a long time since the last Blood Game, after all…"

"Excuse me?" Evolt demanded, sitting up in his seat.

"Nothing to do with you," Abrella explained. "Ginis and his Deathgaliens traveled from world to world as part of their 'Blood Game,' a twisted competition where they would send monsters called Players down to a selected planet and destroy it in as ruthless and sadistic away as possible to satisfy Ginis' bloodlust and thirst for destruction. They destroyed 99 worlds in this way until coming to Earth, where they were defeated by the Zyuohgers." He chuckled. "And I made a significant amount of money supplying them with weapons, ships, and technology to aid them in their endeavors, as well as broadcasting their carnage to fans of bloodsport across the cosmos. Not that I would EVER do anything like that again, of course."

"Wait, isn't that what we're doing now?" Z pointed out.

"Oh no, this is TOTALLY different," Abrella assured him. "Then I was profiting from horrible villains slaughtering helpless innocents. _This_ is profiting from valiant heroes conquering villains who are of course no match for such shining paragons of righteousness."

"Yep. Absolutely nothing in common," Dogranio agreed with a straight face.

"Oh, I see," Evolt realized, relaxing. "We actually used to have competitions like that on my world. We also called them the Blood Games." He snorted. "And 99? That's it? That doesn't even break into the top 100 planet kill counts my people had in our games. Even Ino did better than that!"

"Wait… Are you telling me… No! Absolutely not!" Kuroto screamed, outraged. "I am the final boss here, not you! You don't get to just show up when all is said and done and make yourself the main adversary! You're just a has-been I summoned to soften up my opponents! I refuse to be Hijacked by Ganon! Again, that is!"

"Seeing as how I am at full power, while you are worn out, low on lives, and nowhere near as strong as you could be, I don't believe you really have a choice in the matter," Ginis sneered.

"You may be at full power, but you don't have a chance of defeating all of us," Yamato pointed out, gesturing to all the other heroes around them.

"Yeah! We'll thrash you just like we did the last time!" Leo agreed.

"You would be right… Except that I'm not the only one who will be fighting you," Ginis explained.

"… What do you mean by that?" Tusk asked slowly.

Ginis laughed and swiped a hand through the air, scattering hundreds of medals across the quarry. Most of them hit the ground and, in flashes of green light, turned into grotesque creatures with tentacled heads, Moeba foot soldiers.

Other medals, however, had other targets, and had a rather different effect on impact.

One medal sank into the tiny metal sphere that Long had been sealed into. The ball trembled, glowing green cracks spreading across its surface, before shattering with a monstrous roar as a tremendous mass of golden energy rose into the air, transforming into a gigantic four-legged Golden Dragon with far too many heads.

One medal sank into the chest of the petrified Dokoku in his impact crater in the cliff face. The statue shook, glowing green cracks spreading across its surface before shattering as Dokoku emerged, growing to a gargantuan size.

Five medals landed in the remains of Brajira and his clones. In a massive flash of green light, a single gargantuan figure stood up, leg armor resembling that of Buredo-RUN the Cyborg covering its feet, armor that was a mix of Buredoran of the Chupacabra and Chimatsuri's covering his hips and waist, and a mix of the armor from all five of his forms covering his chest. Wings resembling those of an angel, an insect, a demon, and ones like solar sails sprouted from his back. Four arms grew from his sides, each resembling the forelimb of one of his alter egos and wielding the appropriate weapon. His head was now a five-sided revolving gyre, each side resembling one of his faces, with a crown that was a mix of all five of his head adornments rising from the top. All five heads cackled madly as their single head whirled around and around.

One medal landed in the hand of a small, discarded, creepy baby doll lying in the ashes of Dr. Maki. The doll clenched its hand around the medal, and in a flash of green light, millions of Cell Medals started accumulating around it, swelling upwards and fusing together to form a humongous purple Dragon with four legs, four arms, two tails, and vast wings, all bristling with spikes, with a bony crest that had Tyrannosaurus, Pteranodon, and Triceratops heads jutting from it surrounding a hideous scaly face vaguely resembling Maki in his human form, with the now gargantuan doll riding on its back.

One medal landed in the tattered remnants of Deboss's shawl, and in a flash of green light a tremendous mass of slime oozed upwards and solidified into the reborn form of the now-giant Deboss.

One medal landed in the scrap that was all that was left of Banno. It sank into the remains of his Driver, and in a flash of light the mechanical parts started twitching and coming to life, cables and gears and pieces of metal coming together or generating from thin air to form a new, more monstrous body. Within moments, a large golden car resembling the Tridoron had formed, with huge bat wings, spider legs, and a serpentine body made of smaller cars emerging from its rear. The front end of the car split apart to form a massive set of jaws filled with jagged metal teeth, screeching horrifically as it flapped its wings and rose into the air.

One medal landed in the broken remains of Gengetsu Kibaoni. In a flash of green light, the Oni warlord was revived, rising into the air as a towering giant.

One medal landed in the ashes of Dracula. In a flash of green light, thousands of bats suddenly erupted from the pile of dust, shrieking and chittering and swirling about as they rose into the air, converging to form a gargantuan green Dragon with wings growing from the undersides of its arms and a lower body resembling a centipede.

One medal landed in the discarded parka of the Great Eyezer. In a flash of green light, a giant golden being of light (no relation to the Ultras) rose up, a pair of wings spreading from its back, a single red eye opening in a head crowned with a towering horn.

One medal landed in the remains of Starfish Hitler. In a flash of green light, a titanic starfish rose into the air, its four legs twisting about to resemble a swastika, an orifice opening on the front of his face to reveal a grotesque face resembling that of Adolf Hitler.

Finally, one medal landed in the still-impaled corpse of Giant Spider Great Leader. With a shudder and a flash of green light, the corpse came back to life, the sword being pushed out of its back as the monster grew bigger and bigger, until it was about the same height as all of the other giant monsters.

"THANK YOU, GINIS!" They all chorused.

Everyone stared in anger and disbelief. "Oh, come on!" Kiriya shouted.

"Oh, so I guess we ARE getting giant monsters for this crossover, then," Evolt noted. "Good to know."

"We usually don't have this many, though," Abrella remarked. "This should be interesting."

"Back behind the couch I go," Dogranio said with a disturbing amount of serenity before climbing back over the back of the couch. Sobbing and retching sounds could be heard soon afterwards.

"My friends, I would like to welcome you all to the beginning of the 101st Blood Game!" Ginis declared, rising into the air and swooping around the heads of the giant monsters he had just given Continues to. "And the first event is simple. Whichever of you manages to kill the most, second, and third-most heroes will be named Team Leaders for the newest incarnation of the Deathgaliens. Fourth place gets to be my new secretary, and everyone else will become Players. You may then feel free to destroy as much of the planet as you wish, however you choose to. Whoever entertains me the most shall be rewarded. There is only one rule: that I am not bored. Anything else is fair game! Let the carnage commence!"

The revived giant villains roared in delight.

"So, are we screwed?" Miles asked nervously. "Because I feel kind of screwed right now."

"This seems bad, but it's not as bad as it looks," Takeru assured him. "There are a lot of them, but a lot of us as well, and quite a few of us have experience fighting giant monsters in equally giant mecha."

"Those of us who don't have full teams here can call for backup," Swan agreed. "Once they realize how urgent this is, they'll get here as quickly as possible."

"I'm calling my cousin and the other ninja right now," Kasumi announced, dialing on her communicator.

"This might get a little dicey, but I'm confident we can pull through this-" Sento began, when the earth started shaking.

 **"KAMEN RIDERS!"**

The biggest monster any of them had ever seen, a stone giant so colossal it was even taller than Mount Fuji, lurched into view, the earth shaking with every stomp as it approached. Hongo gasped in horror. "Oh no… It's Rock Great Leader!"

Eiji grimaced. "This brings back memories…"

 **"YOU SHALL PAY FOR THE DEATH OF MY SON-"** Rock Great Leader roared.

 **"Dad, I'm okay!"** Giant Spider Great Leader yelled.

Rock Great Leader paused and squinted. **"WHAT? OH! SON! YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!"** He bellowed in relief. **"AND YOU FINALLY HIT YOUR GROWTH SPURT! YOUR MOTHER WILL BE SO PROUD!"**

Giant Spider Great Leader winced. **"Daaaaaaaaaaaaad!"**

 **"SORRY, SORRY, DON'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR NEW FRIENDS,"** Rock Great Leader apologized. He rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. **"WELL, NOW I FEEL A LITTLE SILLY COMING OUT HERE IN MY STRONGEST FORM… BUT, WHILE I'M HERE… I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'D MIND A LITTLE HELPING HAND FROM YOUR OLD MAN?"** He asked hopefully.

Giant Spider Great Leader rolled his eyes. **"Oh, I suppose, seeing as how you came all this way…"**

 **"WONDERFUL!"** Rock Great Leader cried in delight, nearly deafening the much, much smaller heroes. **"THIS WILL MAKE FOR A WONDERFUL BONDING OPPORTUNITY! SUCH A PITY YOUR MOTHER HAD TO STAY BEHIND TO MAN HEADQUARTERS. NOW, LET'S SQUASH THOSE IMPUDENT KAMEN RIDERS – – AND SUPER SENTAI, AND SPIDER-MEN – – TOGETHER!"**

"NOW are we screwed?" Miles asked.

"No, no, we can still handle this," Takuya insisted, though he didn't sound entirely certain.

"Despite his size, he is not invulnerable," Hongo spoke up. "I've defeated him in this form before. Granted, I had a lot of help…"

"Well, we have a lot of help this time too," Eiji pointed out, gesturing to everyone around them.

"Yeah!" Gentaro cried in agreement. "So long as nothing else happens, I think we're good to go!"

As if in response to this, the universe stuttered, time skipping a beat.

One second a large stretch of the quarry was empty. The next, it was filled with ANOTHER large group of Riders and Sentai battling an army of robots, evil Riders, deceased villains, and monsters resembling twisted caricatures of Kamen Riders while a variety of giant mecha clashed in the background. In the center of it all a group of extremely powerful Riders, some of which looked like strange doppelgängers of each other, were having a titanic battle against a hideous figure, reality itself seeming to shiver, warp, and fracture around them.

"You had to say it, didn't you?" Shotaro asked Gentaro angrily.

"Whoops," Gentaro laughed nervously.

"Oh, what NOW?!" Kuroto demanded.

"Whatever it is, I think it's Decade's fault, I can see him in there," Taiga announced.

Everyone nodded and made noises of agreement. It was usually Decade's fault, after all.

"It's not my fault this time!" Tsukasa yelled, landing a blow on Another Diend.

"Are you absolutely sure?" Ryunosuke called back.

"Yes!… Probably! It's PROBABLY not my fault!" Tsukasa replied uncertainly.

"Wait… Is that me in there?" Emu asked in surprise.

"And me?" Noted the startled Brain.

"I see myself as well," Sento remarked. "As well as a number of other duplicates of those among us. I'm guessing either time travel or alternate universe."

"It's definitely time travel," explained Kamen Norider, who'd appeared beside them without anyone noticing.

Nico started. "Holy crap! Who the hell are you?!"

"Kamen Norider. Yes, you've never heard of me. No, it's not because I was ever mentioned in the newsletters, I doubt anyone but Hongo here recognizes me," Norider said, nodding at Hongo. "Long story short, I'm sort of our universe's versions of Deadpool and Spider-Ham, but far less recognized, and much more handsome."

"Excuse me?!" Ham declared, outraged.

"Well, he's got a point…" Deadpool muttered resentfully.

"Kinashi. What is going on here?" Hongo asked.

"Eh, it's a little complicated. Short version is that these are all versions of most of you and your friends from other times who got summoned to the year 2068 by time cops to help take down the demon king Oma Zi-O, ruler of all time and space," Norider began.

"And that's the nasty-looking guy everyone in the middle is fighting?" Parad guessed.

Norider shook his head. "No, that's Another Oma Zi-O, an even WORSE demon king who wants to DESTROY all of time and space who popped up in the middle of the big battle and now Oma Zi-O, his past self regular Zi-O – – who was forced to turn into Oma Z-O himself to get the power he needed to fight the other guy – – and the past and present versions of their friends and family have joined forces to fight him while everyone else is fighting his minions, many of whom used to be Oma Zi-O's minions but are now under control of new management. Or just confused as to who they're supposed to follow orders from. I don't blame them, really, it's a bit of a mess."

"Oh," Parad said faintly.

"I got absolutely none of that," Ryuga complained.

"Oh, so THAT'S why there've been so many temporal anomalies lately!" Sento realized. "The clash between time rulers must be echoing backwards and forwards throughout the timeline, causing all sorts of inconsistencies!"

Asuna gasped. "Like how nobody could remember my name for a while!"

"And how none of us are actually sure what year it is," Nico added.

"Or for how all of us forgot of the existence of Sougo and his friends, why I felt for a time as if my God did not exist, and why Kuroto seemed to believe that he'd been a king at one point," Hiiro intuited.

"And you all called me crazy!" Kuroto yelled.

"That's because you are," Kiriya told him bluntly.

"Wait, then why are you all back here in… whatever year this is instead of 2068?" Bud asked.

"Multiple superbeings with power over time clashing with each other? They probably broke time and conveniently wound up back in the present era to continue their struggle and now we're all caught up in it," the midlife crisis Spider-Man said sagely. "Seen it a million times."

Norider nodded. "Yeah, that's basically what's going on."

"Great, so now we have to deal with this on top of the multiple giant monsters and the really, REALLY giant monster?" Inkohana complained.

"They can probably take care of themselves, we should probably focus on our own problems before anything else happens," Shuki suggested.

And that's when a section of the air above the quarry splintered and shattered, a gigantic green claw smashing its way through. " ** _SPIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS_**!"

Peni gasped. "Oh no, the Goblin Emperor! He's found us!"

"The what now?" Takuya asked.

"The Goblin Emperor! We totally forgot in all the chaos," Miguel explained. "He's an entity made from the combined hatred of all Green Goblins in every reality that wants nothing more than to destroy every Spider-Man in the entire multiverse! We came here to find you and recruit you for our battle with him, but we kind of got distracted what with everything that's been going on."

"And we have to fight this guy too?!" Megumi protested. "This is kind of getting out of hand!"

"No, leave him to us, this is our fight, you guys need to handle your own thing," Gwen told them.

"And good luck with that, it looks as if you all really have your hands full as it is," the poorly animated Spider-Man stated.

And that's when a black hole opened in the sky. "EVOLT!" Ryuga shouted, livid.

"That's not me!" Evolt yelled back. He frowned. "But… It FEELS like me, somehow. The heck is going on now?"

He got his answer when the black hole vomited indescribable horrors, nightmares beyond imagining. To say that the unspeakable monstrosity they coalesced to form resembled Evolt, but with a pitch-black body, wings made from tentacles, multiple multi-jointed limbs ending in claws and orifices, and a cord running from the back of his neck into the mouth of the black hole would be incorrect. Rather, Evolt, but with a pitch-black body, wings made from tentacles, multiple multi-jointed limbs ending in claws and orifices, and a cord running from the back of his neck into the mouth of the black hole was the thing it did not resemble the _least._

"…Holy crap, I did not know I could look that awesome," said an amazed Evolt. "I am so jealous right now."

"Make it go away make it go away make it go away make go away-" Z pleaded, shivering in terror.

"Ah. So that's what it feels like to go insane," Abrella said conversationally.

Gentaro and Swan gasped. "Oh no, that thing's here too?"

"The hell is that?!" Sela demanded, struggling not to throw up or call her eyes out.

"A piece of a collective consciousness of alien horrors from multiple realities called 'Evolt' which recently managed to enter our reality thanks to a dimensional rift torn open by a supernova," Kengo explained. "Space Squad was unable to handle it, so the entire Gaimist Pantheon had to show up just to hold the line. It seems as if all the chaos has allowed a small fragment of the greater entity to find another way into our universe."

"So THAT is what my Lord is facing…" Hiiro murmured, horrified. "It is worse than I could have possibly imagined."

"And that's just a small piece of it?!" Mizuki asked in disbelief.

"Lady Malika, preserve us," Satsuki breathed.

"She… Kind of is? But I think she's a bit busy fighting the main body, so… Looks like this one is up to us," Poppy said nervously.

"Hey, thanks for causing so much dimensional instability we were able to open a backdoor into your reality here," the other Evolt spoke, every syllable underlined by the tortured screams of millions of dying souls, pulses of agony coursing through their nerves as he spoke directly into the minds of everyone present. It was, needless to say, an unpleasant experience for everyone save Evolt, who was practically having an orgasm. "Now all I have to do is eat your planet and I'll become strong enough to make a big enough black hole to let us through, bypassing the barricade those fruity gods have set up at our initial breach!"

He opened one of his hands, a solid black cube which somehow had far more than six sides while still being recognizably a cube appeared, every surface covered in gold and black bottles. He snapped his claws, the sound echoing like a supernova annihilating an entire civilized system, and the box shifted and reconfigured itself in ways the human – – or android, or AI, or zyuman, or what have you – – mine was completely incapable of fastening. More black holes opened up in the sky, stone towers descending from them and piercing the earth, the grinding of stone against stone filling the air as they started to dig into the planet, red energy coursing up their lengths from the surface and into the black hole, colossal chunks of turf breaking off and floating into the air as gravitational distortions liberated them from the ground and sucked them into the holes in reality. "It took a lot of energy to open this bypass, so I'm afraid I can't just destroy the world and give you a quick death. Instead, I'm going to use my Pandora Towers to dig into your planet's core and rip this Earth to pieces! More fun for me!"

"Wow, that does sound fun!" Evolt agreed. "Except that I'm not the one doing it! Who's this guy think he is?!"

"You from another dimension?" Z replied.

"That was a rhetorical question!" Evolt snapped.

"Oh my. Things really do seem to be escalating," Abrella noted. "I'm almost starting to become concerned. Oh well, if I die again, it won't be so bad. I can pick up where I left off I suppose."

"I don't want to die!" Z protested. "Evolt, can't you do something!"

Evolt considered this for a moment. "You're right, I can!" He decided. "if things get dicey, I'll leave."

Z stared at him. "… Will you take us with you?"

"No."

Dogranio peeked over the couch for a moment. "… Still not as scary as the spider freak," he decided before pulling his head back down.

"Okay, now we're definitely screwed," Miles decided.

"Starting to look that way," his mentor Spider-Man agreed.

"Okay, I know that colors aren't really my thing, but… All those weird colors coming out of that nightmare hole, what are they?" Noir asked.

"I don't think there are any words in any language that can describe them," Peni said faintly.

"Uh, Sento? Evolt is sort of your deal. Any idea what to do?" Emu asked Sento anxiously.

Sento stared in horror and disbelief at the cosmic horror in the sky, at the towers digging away at the earth. Finally, with a helpless shrug, he said, "Throw Banjo at him?"

"Works for me!" Ryuga cried ecstatically.

"I'll help throw him!" Evolt yelled, eager to volunteer.

"Hey! What about me?!" Kuroto demanded.

"We have more important things to deal with right now, Kuroto, we'll finish up with you later," Hiiro said dismissively, focusing on the cable connecting the alternate Evolt to the black hole he'd come out of. "Do you all see that cord? I'm guessing he is unable to fully manifest in our reality, which is why he needs a connection back to whatever world he's from. If I can cut that with my blade, that should significantly weaken him if not outright banish him from our world."

"Do you think you can cut it?" Rio asked.

Hiiro scoffed. "There is-"

"Nothing you cannot cut, we know," all of his friends said in monotone, sounding exasperated.

Hiiro hesitated. "I suppose I have been saying that rather a lot lately, haven't I?"

"A little bit," Mizuki confessed, not wishing to sound critical of her master.

"More… More important things?" Kuroto whispered. "But I'm… I'm the final boss."

"Not anymore," Parad told him.

Tiger nodded. "Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed, we seem to be having a rather sizable number of contenders for that title right now."

"If it really means that much to you, Kuroto, we promise we'll defeat you once everything else has been taken care of," Poppy assured him sweetly. "Is that good enough for you?"

Kuroto stared at her in disbelief before beginning to laugh hysterically. "Is it all right? Is it all right?! No, Poppy, it's _not_ all right!" He screamed. "This was MY game! I was supposed to be the final boss! The last adversary you heroes faced before you could call it a day and go home! Even if I was diminished thanks to Miyamoto, and had no chance of winning, at least I would have the dignity of being able to go out on my own terms as your final opponent! But now I'm being Hijacked by all sorts of Ganons and Giant Space Fleas from Nowhere and it feels like the plotlines from like half a dozen different other stories have suddenly collided with our own and this is CERTAINLY not what was supposed to happen today but now a ridiculous number of heroes and villains and monsters and even freaking comic book characters keep shoving their heads in when they aren't wanted and making things even more complicated than they already are and you tell me I'm just supposed to, supposed to _wait my fucking turn?!"_

"I could kill you now, if you like," Kiriya offered helpfully.

"Kuroto, look, you can still be the final boss, we'll just fight you after everything else has been taken care of," Emu tried to sooth the madman.

"That's not being the final boss!" Kuroto yelled. "That's being the _Post-Final Boss!_ The guy who goes down rather anticlimactically that's supposed to be challenging in theory but in practice usually misses the mark, the guy that's nothing more than a brief spike in the action before all conflicts are resolved and the credits can roll! I REFUSE to be that guy! I'm way more threatening than Yu Yevon!"

"Yeah, well, you don't exactly have much of a choice in the matter," Taiga pointed out rather testily. "So if you'll please just shut up and let us take care of this-"

"No, I will NOT shut up!" Kuroto howled… And much to everyone's amazement and alarm, he started glowing green. "This has been possibly the worst day of my life! I've been repeatedly humiliated and embarrassed, outwitted and outmatched at every turn, thwarted by an absurd number of Deus Ex Machinas and Diabolus Ex Machinas, with other people who have no business getting involved constantly showing up and stealing the spotlight, lost my genius talents, but I'll be DAMNED if I lose my status as final boss on top of all that!"

"Kuroto!" Poppy cried in alarm.

"WHAT?!"

"You're… Glowing and stuff!" Nico pointed out, bewildered and concerned.

"WHAT?!" Kuroto looked down at himself and discovered, to his surprise, they were right. "What… What the… What NOW?!"

Asuna gasped. "Wait… That glow… I'd know that hue anywhere! It's-"

Large green orbs suddenly floated off of Kuroto, swirling in the air before converging next to him. In a flash of green light, a monster stood beside him. Its lower body resembled a lion the size of a horse covered in golden armor covered in hieroglyphs and sigils resembling question marks. Where the head should have been rose the torso of a very voluptuous humanoid adorned in Egyptian-style jewelry and bandages barely covering her sizable chest, tawny muscular arms ending in claws clutching a question mark-shaped crook and flail with question mark-shaped hooks at the ends crossed across her chest. A pair of great wings, each feather engraved with hieroglyphics and question marks, sprouted from her back. Her face was a beautiful golden mask of a felinoid woman framed by a pharaonic headdress with a tiara resembling a question mark perched upon her brow. **_"QUIZ…"_**

Everyone stared blankly. "What," Parad said finally.

"Oh! Oh, and now THIS happens!" Kuroto shrieked, gesticulating madly at the monster. "Because of fucking course it does! And who are supposed to be, huh?!"

"That's a Minusaur!" Asuna exclaimed.

"A what now?" Emu asked.

"That does not look like a dinosaur to me," Satsuki pointed out, perplexed.

"That's because it's not a dinosaur," Mizuki explained. "Minusaurs are monsters born from the negative emotions of humans. While they were used as monsters of the week by the Druidon tribe, they can occur naturally as well if enough negative energies build up from a person, object, or large numbers of people. Once they have been formed, they will continue to absorb life energy from their host, growing stronger and eventually turning into giant monsters."

"Because of course they do," Hiiro muttered, rolling his eyes. "Sentai and their giant monsters…"

Kuroto threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh! Oh! Because OF COURSE I have a parasite draining my life force now, because that's just the kind of day this is! The universe just HATES poor little Kuroto Dan! Can't give him a momen'ts respite before something else terrible happens to him! At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if my dad comes back from the dead AGAIN to tell me for the umpteenth time how disappointed he is in me!"

He glowed some more, and more globules floated off of him and even into the Minusaur, causing it to flash green and get slightly larger. **_"Quiiiiiiiiiiiiz."_**

"Kuroto, stop! The angrier you get, the more of your life force it will drain!" Mizuki warned the villain.

"And if it's not stopped in time, you'll die!" Asuna added.

"NATURALLY!" Kuroto shouted, releasing even more globules and causing the Minusaur to get even bigger.

"Wait, why is that a bad thing?" Kiriya asked.

"Because if he dies, the Minusaur will have absorbed enough life force to evolve into its nearly invincible final form!" Asuna explained.

Kuroto opened his mouth to go on another rant… And hesitated. "Wait… But I have extra lives. Will it keep feeding off of me in my next life, too?"

Asuna blinked. "Um… I think so? We once fought a Minusaur made from a wishing rock and one of us tried to stop it from growing stronger by breaking the rock, but that just caused the Minusaur to multiply itself, so I guess in theory it would just keep on getting stronger and stronger as it continued burning through your additional lives and I really should not have just told you all that, should I have?"

Kuroto stared at her for a moment, and then started laughing insanely. "No," he agreed. "No, you should not have!"

He quickly jumped onto the back of the Minusaur. "Come, my Minusaur! I may still become the final boss yet! I will continue feeding you with my hatred in life after life, until you are so strong NOBODY will be able to defeat you! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 ** _"QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ!"_** The Minusaur roared as it rapidly expanded to gargantuan heights, everyone scurrying backwards to keep from being crushed beneath its massive paws. The monster spread its wings and with a tremendous flap which nearly blew everyone away it rose into the air, Kuroto's laughter echoing across the battlefield as it flew higher and higher, navigating through the field of black holes as it raced into the sky and disappeared.

"… Well, shit," Parad said after a moment. "That's not good."

"You think?!" Escape snapped at him.

"And now we have to deal with Kuroto again, on top of everything else," Hiiro said wearily. "Wonderful."

Mizuki raised a hand. "Would now be a bad time to mention that things have become so chaotic here that Daijinryu has decided they threaten the balance of the entire universe and is on his way to destroy the entire solar system?"

Everyone groaned.

"AUTHOR!" Deadpool shouted skywards. "WHAT DID I SAY? _WHAT DID I SAY?!"_

 _…_

Shut up Wade, I don't even know why I threw you in here in the first place.

Let this chapter be a lesson to all of you aspiring writers, dear readers. Something that seemed like a brilliant idea in your head doesn't always translate as well once you put it on paper. I could very well have ended this chapter, and this story, MUCH sooner if I hadn't listened to the numerous plot bunnies burrowing through my cranium telling me to add more and more elements that I thought would make the story funnier/more interesting. And now we have a big messy climax that hopefully I can resolve in a satisfactory manner.

Oh well. Lesson learned. I got myself into this mess, let's see if I can dig myself out of it. Tune in next time for what should HOPEFULLY be the really final phase of this overlong battle. Hope I haven't alienated you all by this point.


End file.
